5 Reasons Your Burnout Recovery Isn't Working

Recently, my co-coach Sarah Vosen and I did a Live in FRIED's Facebook group about the reasons that your burnout recovery isn't going as great as you think it should. Expanding on that here - my intention with this newsletter is to spark your pilot light into action that will actually move the burnout needle.

These reasons are not a series of judgments. They are simply a series of observations that we've made over the past 8 years. They are the most common stumbling blocks that we see and I hope that knowing them will help you stumble a little less.

1. You're overdoing your burnout recovery

Doing too much FOR your burnout recovery is counterproductive TO your burnout recovery. This lesson alone is burnout recovery in a nutshell. So many of us that end up burnt out have perfectionist tendencies and we've been able to push through so many problems in our lives that we treat burnout recovery the same.

Optimizing your burnout recovery requires you to let go of the need to do all-the-burnout-recovery-all-the-time. Wanting to be the BEST at burnout recovery makes you the worst at it. Burnout recovery often takes addressing these tendencies of urgency, perfectionism, people pleasing by making things right as soon as possible.

Sarah calls this: "Trying to recover from burnout using the same operating system that got you into burnout".

Burnout has physiological components that you can't make go faster than they go. Respecting your speed and your capacity is a lesson that will help you recover - and STAY recovered.

2. Burnout Prevention and Burnout Recovery require different tools

This is something I have talked about ad nauseum and yet bears repeating. Burnout prevention is stress management. Period.

Burnout recovery is brain and body healing and updating your operating systems and THEN stress management to avoid burnout relapse.

If you're meditating and doing gratitude journaling and you're not making progress - this is why. If you're exercising and it feels like garbage and you need a nap after - this is why. (Want to dig into this more? Here's an episode of Ana Melikian, PhD 's podcast where we take a deep dive into prevention vs. recovery)

3. Your burnout recovery is for other people

I've often been asked if burnout recovery makes you selfish. The answer is no. It might, temporarily, make you selfish and overall make you more attentive to yourself than in the past but typically when burnout recovery is done right it allows you to fuel yourself often and well so that you can be GENEROUS AND KIND.

People who burn out typically like to give and haven't quite learned how to receive. Learning receivership might feel selfish in the beginning, but once you realize how much of your generosity it opens up, it makes more sense.

And yet still - you cannot recover FOR that reason.

Or for your partner. Or your kids. Or you job.

A common pattern in burnt out folk is thinking that if we keep pretzling ourselves enough, if we change ourselves enough, if we fix ourselves enough - we will be able to manage every single problem that arises in every life that we touch - however tangentially.

This ties into the next reason....

4. You're still in a toxic (job, relationship, home, etc).

You cannot 'fix' yourself enough to be able to withstand toxicity. I am not a proponent of 'just up and quit your job' but I am a proponent of: Figure out what you can change and influence AND even more important - figure out what you can't.

If you're in a situation that you'll NEVER be able to balance out, no matter how many boundaries you put up - your only option is to create an exit strategy. You cannot recover your way into handling heavy loads of toxicity.

You cannot always simple change your perspective of the situation and be okay with it.

Being bullied, being gaslight, being ignored, and being pushed around are reasons to remove yourself from a situation. Don't let the spiritual bypassing community allow you to believe that if you just control your own emotions, you'll be just fine.

You won't.

You're human.

Other people have an effect on you.

Welcome to the club. :)

5. You underestimate how powerful the small environmental changes truly are

I am often telling people to buy new favorite mugs, upgrade their pans so they don't stick, and get rid of the goodwill clothes that have been in the trunks of their cars for 6 months.

One of my client's started her burnout recovery with a trip to IKEA for a new nightstand. It was a critical piece of her recovery. (You can listen to that here). Having towels you love, giving yourself the good plate, surrounding yourself with beauty, art, and plants - these are all incredibly important no matter how silly they seem to you when you're mid burn out.

Burnout recovery takes time, support, and a shift in the way you relate the world. It is challenging, but not impossible and there are supports that can make it easier. We are one of those supports.

If you need help, here are the steps:

1. Listen to FRIED. The Burnout Podcast
2. Book a "Am I on the right path" call with me

That's it. :)

Here's to your healing.

<3

Cait

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Hi! If you're new here - I'm Cait Donovan and I'm on a mission to #endburnoutculture.

I do that through my podcast, keynote speeches, fireside chats, and company wide workshops as well as 1:1 and group coaching. I believe that ending burnout culture happens when we, as a community, agree to stop participating in burnout culture - one human at a time.

You can find more on all of that and hire me to help you, your team, or you company here: https://caitdonovan.com