Burnout Is Not Your Fault*

*Even though you play a role.

As a speaker, it is one of my biggest goals for people to truly embrace and embody the idea that burnout is not their fault. At the same time, I don't see a need to demonize companies and employers or even the manager that really pushed you over the edge (because seriously folks, one person can be the straw the breaks the burnt out camel's back).

You might be asking the question right now, "But then, who IS to blame?". And my response would be: blame isn't useful here. Blame is popular because it helps us either remove responsibility from ourselves completely - or - throw a pile of responsibility on ourselves because we believe that if we caused it, we can fix it - maybe.

In blame option #1 - we waste energy focusing on how someone or some system wronged us. We build anger and resentment that we don't use for anything except for causing health problems. We search for vindication, for retribution, for someone to PAY THE PRICE for what they did. Most of the time - it doesn't happen. So we stew. For years. And end up with symptoms no one needs - everything from hives to migraines to IBS (yes, I've seen all 3).

In blame option #2 - we waste energy berating ourselves, attempting to 'fix' ourselves, convincing ourselves it's because we're: insert (zodiac sign, enneagram number, human design, etc) here. We feel stuck in a cycle of knowing how 'bad' and 'wrong' we are but feeling like our hands our tied. The self judgment cycle spins fast and we end up with symptoms that no one needs - weight gain, autoimmune disorders, and more (yep, I've seen all that too).

The truth is that burnout is a both a personal life long problem and a systemic cultural issue all at the same time. Your trauma that lead to you codependent people pleasing and perfectionism is exacerbated by messages of success through hard work and individualistic goals met without assistance (because if someone helps us, it doesn't count, right?). Our sedentary indoors culture is part of it. Your parent's emotional neglect (even if they did the best they could!) is another. Your brain development during childhood, your grandmother's trauma when she was pregnant with your mother, the amount of time you spend with trees, where your locus of control is, whether you work in a 'good fit' environment, if you have a friend in the office (or the zoom room), how much support you allow, how many resources you have access to - and on and on and on and on.

There are some pieces of this puzzle that you can control, improve upon, and shift enough to move away from burnout. I know this because I've helped 1000's do it. There are some pieces of this puzzle that you can remove. There are some pieces of this puzzle that you have NO control over and you'll have to add some buffering (see the newsletter on BPF's for more on this) to even it out.

But the thing that is MOST true in all of this is that there are WAY TOO MANY FACTORS at play for you to be AT FAULT. Most of the patterns and behaviors that contribute to your burnout you created as a child. If your brain development around stress management was stunted or your epigenetics decided that you'd respond poorly to cortisol and glucocorticoids - how the hell could that be your fault? Especially because how many nerds besides me even know that half of this stuff is happening?

On top of that, the external factors are certainly not your fault. You didn't create the values of the country you live in. You probably haven't even ever really chosen your own values except as a byproduct of either repeating your family's values or choosing the opposite because your family sucked. You didn't decide that asking for help was a weakness or that you should 'stay in your lane' - the propaganda of life encourages those messages daily. You didn't decide to ignore your body's signals - you had to ask for permission to pee as a child and if you were an athlete?!! Playing through the pain was what got the most praise (for millennials and older :)).

One of my favorite things to do is deep dive into this topic for companies, teams, and associations because once you get a real, true understanding of this, a few things happen:

1. You drop the blame and focus on solutions
2. You engage with yourself and others who are burnt out with more empathy
3. You're able to recover from burnout and re-engage with work in a healthy way

This helps communication between leaders and teams. This helps engagement and productivity numbers. This ADDS TO YOUR BOTTOM LINE - and most importantly, it adds to the bottom line of wellbeing for everyone that participates.

My name is Cait Donovan and I'm a speaker and trainer who works with you to rid your teams, companies, and associations of burnout causing tendencies that you can't see.

If you're looking for a speaker who can address burnout without bumming people out or putting the leadership on blast? You found her.

Use this link to tell me about your event and I'll check my calendar!