Embracing Your YOUniqueness

College is one of the greatest places of comparison.

We compare the number of hours we did (or didn’t) sleep, the number of all-nighters we pull, the number of classes we are taking, the number of job offers we receive, the number of nights we go out in a typical week, the number of extracurriculars we are in, the number of cups of coffee we drink to stay awake, the number out of 4.0 on our transcripts.

Sometimes the comparisons make us feel good, at least temporarily. We aren’t the only ones barely getting rest, cramming for a test the night before, or juggling two more classes than the average schedule. Others can relate. We aren’t alone.

When our friends are distressed, we console them with a simple, “I feel you” or "I can relate" that encompasses how we have been there. We understand.

But at the end of the day, we need to change our mindsets. By constantly comparing ourselves to others, even our closest friends, we are placing our self-worth in others. We develop a false sense of security when our peers seem to relate. Then that security is shattered when we come to realize that our struggles are unique.

Just because we aren’t the only ones lacking sleep doesn’t mean it’s any less healthy. Just because she’s in more extracurriculars doesn’t mean she’s more involved or social. Just because he pulled an all-nighter studying doesn’t mean he’s going to do better on an upcoming test.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that college isn’t about doing more of what other people are, but taking the time to figure out what is best for us. It’s easy to go along with what everyone else is doing than it is to realize what sets us apart.

During my first year in college, I felt pressured to be the “perfect” college student and take advantage of every event. I thought if I wasn’t constantly doing something or with other people, I was missing out. But this past semester, I took time to myself for the first time. I reflected, tried different strategies, and realized what worked best for me. I learned how to say “no” to things when I wasn’t feeling it. And I realized that made me happier than saying "yes" to everything to seek the approval of others.

We need to stop comparing our struggles, the number of hours we did (or didn’t) sleep, the all-nighters. Everyone has their own personal challenges that to them are real. We’re all different people, and though it takes time to truly figure out what works best, it will be 100% worth it once we find our sweet spots and live our lives freely. Ultimately, when we share our struggles and triumphs with others, it’s all about our mindset and where we place our self-worth. Instead of comparison, these precious conversations should be about developing trust, helping others through similar situations, or showing empathy. So, you do you. We will be much happier that way.

#studentvoices

This post was edited by LinkedIn Campus Editor Clarissa Buch.

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