End of an era still to come

Have you ever ended a relationship with someone knowing that the real heartbreak will be not seeing the person’s family again? No, me neither, but like all well-versed homollennials I have seen the episode of Sex and the City where this happens to Carrie at least three times. So, just as Sarah Jessica Parker takes the hand of her inadequate lover’s mother and tells her she hopes they can always remain friends, I reached out to my colleague Sarah and said: “I’m leaving MRS, but you’ll always be in my life. “

“You live down the road,” she replied. “ I’m literally going to have to move house to get rid of you.”

That was one of ten tearful exchanges I had when I handed in my notice. After 16 years, when I say some of my team are like family to me, it’s not hyperbole. Pre-pandemic, I sat next to these people all day every day for five days a week. They’ve seen me through every professional and personal triumph and disaster since I was an over-dramatic twentysomething, right through to being an over-dramatic fortysomething.

We’ve had many birthdays and bad days (often combined) as well as actual births; some sad deaths and some hangovers that just felt like death; weddings, divorces and everything in between; all the lunches and all the diets (so many diets); children have grown from nothing but wishes to functioning adults earning more than me; we have applied our collective intelligence to every major and minor problem in each other's lives as well as those of most of the contestants on The Apprentice, Love Island and everyone’s favourite soap opera, The Government of the United Kingdom; and we’ve laughed, a lot. Truly, if one of them collapsed, I’d have a better shot at giving the paramedics a full physical and emotional history than I would any of my blood relations. I won’t list them, but they know who they are and I love them all.

Every family needs its parental figures and I could not have asked for better leaders and role models than Jane Frost CBE and Debrah Harding, who always made me feel supported, encouraged and heard.

Times have changed of course. Whoever replaces me will primarily work from home and probably won’t have the opportunity to grow as close to this brilliant crew – and I can’t see myself ever wanting to be based in an office full-time again, so my future colleagues can breathe a sigh of relief that they’ll never get a season ticket to my compulsive oversharing. I’m a bit sad about that, but not enough to throw myself on the unrelenting mercy of Southeastern Railway every morning again.

And the job itself? With my hand on my heart I can leave feeling that I did everything I could with it. In 2006 MRS had one awards event with 400 guests, by 2022 the programme had grown to three separate events with well over a thousand attendees. Every single category was sponsored and the winners seem to value the impact they have more than ever. I think I can be pleased with that.

There’s also the hundreds of other events I fondly recall, particularly our summer parties, the many happy visits to The Lowry in Salford for MRS North, and barely surviving 14 Annual Conferences.

More recently there’s MRSpride, one of my proudest achievements, born from a drunken night of inspiration with my beloved Michael Albert Brown. I hope I’ll be able to stay involved one way or another, but I know he’ll lead the network from strength to strength with co-chair Sabrina Trinquetel CMRS and the outstanding steering committee now in place. Creating something special with them for the LGBTQ+ community and our allies has been one of the real highlights of my career to date.

Working for a professional body is a unique privilege. As well as my in-house colleagues, I’ve learnt so much from the generous members who have given their time to my projects, and I even learnt some things from the ones who were not so generous. A shout out here to some of my favourites: Chloe Fowler, Sinead Jefferies, Victoria Maxey, Ian Nockolds, Chris Smith, Mark Speed FMRS, Julie Vincent, Debbie Whittick and, of course, my research fairy godmother Dame Linda Henshall (she’s not officially a Dame, but I’m trying to manifest it).

My last public-facing event is Insight Alchemy, this year’s Annual Conference, on 14 March. It would be great to see lots of you there, or at the official Research Club networking party afterwards, which I will be hijacking for my leaving do. My last official day will be 15 March, when I won’t be facing anything.

Thanks for the memories.