Forget What You’ve Read About Mentorship.

Quick. Think about the last article you read on mentorship and list a few key pieces of advice some “expert” shared.

Actually, don’t. Because those articles are all pointless.

A few years ago I was scrolling through my Twitter feed and clicked on an article about mentorship – I don’t remember the exact post, but it was probably one of the “5 reasons you need a mentor” or “10 reasons mentoring is a must” posts that we all scroll through countless times every day.

I flicked past one a few days ago and realized that the true aspects of mentoring and mentorship aren’t even being talked about. What I did hear? “You need a mentor because they help guide you.” “You need a mentor to gain insight from.” “You need a mentor you can ask for help.”

Sounds pretty typical, right?

Except, that’s not what mentorship is. In fact, that’s an incredibly narrow-minded view of a connection. A mentorship is just a connection. For me, there are six people in my life that I name as my “mentors” but they definitely aren’t people that I’m simply guided by, or randomly communicate with when I need help. They’re my friends. They’re my leaders. They’re my connections.

But the weird thing is, most of the articles refer to mentors in the singular, as if one is enough. Having only one person to rely on. Having only one person to ask for help. Having only one person to be your saving grace. But to really grow, ideally you have a few mentors.

Okay, I’ll get to the point. “Mentorship” has just become a fancy, business-centric word for a relationship. We’re talking about our friends and the people we respect. We’re talking about the people that we trust, and the people we seek council from. At the same time, we should be giving council and providing the same level of trust.

The six mentors I have are friends that I’ve either worked for or with in the last few years. Because, surprised, work isn’t limited to the standard nine to five job.

Five managers. One workout partner. One travel pal. One hiking and kayaking extraordinaire. Four music experts. Two writers. One athlete. Five liberals. One conservative. Three coffee lovers. One comedian. Six incredible people.

What you didn’t see? “Someone who can build your network for you.” You didn’t see how these people would be used per the standard mentorship article.

What you didn’t see? “Find someone with an advanced degree in your preferred field of study.” You didn’t see how those people would be picked apart for information only helping the mentee, and not both parties.

What you didn’t see? “A person excited to help push you to your potential.” You didn’t see a babysitter, or a life coach, or some odd parenting excerpt.

I care that my workout partner needs help planning a workout, and she cares and gives advice when she can see my strength goals changing. The four music experts care about new bands, and I care to keep an eye out on concert announcements and new Spotify playlists. The writers and journalists? I care when one of them writes a book, or one of their family members writes a book, or one of their articles has a front page cover somewhere. And they care when I’m struggling to decide whether or not I want to write a LinkedIn article on a somewhat over discussed, underrated topic.

Why do I have six? Because each person provides a perspective that the other might not realize. Each person can provide wisdom and council to help me shape an idea, but not steal thoughts directly from one person. My workout partner doesn’t speak to me in a pure business sense, and the writers don’t focus on mere strategy alone. The comedian forces me to laugh through difficult situations, and the coffee lovers remind me that even though caffeine can keep me going, there are some decisions that still need a night of sleep to think through. Ideas are more well-rounded and not a theft of intellectual property cloning from one person’s thoughts. Many brains think many thoughts.

Giving you another article about 5 reasons you need a mentor is pointless. But giving you an understanding of what real mentorship is and how it plays out? That’s important. Relationships are important.

One of my mentors told me, maybe 11 or 12 months ago, “no one does it alone.” She was talking about success and getting to where you want to be in life. “Everyone gets help from someone.” And, she’s right. She was right then and she’s right now.

Build relationships, and care about the people that care about you. Even care about the people that don’t care about you. It makes a difference.

And certainly no one does it with the fake understanding of mentorship you’ve read about. Forget those articles. Build relationships, and care about the people that care about you. Even care about the people that don’t care about you. It makes a difference.

And the next time some asks you to think back to the last article you read on mentorship and list a few key pieces of advice, call it what it is: a connection.