It's ok to take a break...a long break if you need it...

Last week I took a mental health break from many things on my plate.

I often hear a “negative” metric thrown around about transitioning veterans who can’t hold down their first job for more than a year. My response to that is, so what. As long as a veteran is learning from each new experience and getting closer to their inevitable goals, each new position helps create a path to get to the final product.

Last week, I needed to make a tough choice about continuing with my current role at American Corporate Partners or stepping away. I have pretty severe back issues that were flaring up and I had hoped my most recent MRI wouldn’t confirm those issues were worsening. I wasn’t so lucky.

I don’t share this because I want sympathy but I want to acknowledge that this was only the second time in the past 20 years I didn’t have to ”figure out” how to make a job work that wasn’t working. More details on the first time in a later newsletter, but for 20 years I sucked up many terrible situations or work arrangements because I didn’t have a choice; I had signed a contract. I didn’t have the freedom to quit the military when it wasn’t working for me.  

With my back issues, driving into downtown Washington, D.C. from northern Virginia simply wasn’t going to be a viable work arrangement, no matter how much I wished that wasn’t the case. 

I won’t say it’s been easy to overcome the ingrained desire to perform to a status quo that doesn’t work for me, but it’s getting easier each time to say no. I spent the past year during my military transition focusing on the things most important to me and what truly fuels my soul. I no longer view my purpose as putting everyone else’s needs before mine but to put myself first so I can be purposeful in my pursuits. 

I found my passion working at ACP but continuing there meant putting myself second. My goals didn’t align, passion and personal well-being, so I reluctantly resigned. 

In this process, I continue to learn more about myself. I keep getting closer to what I know will eventually be the right fit. ACP solidified my decision to continue pursuing roles in the non-profit, veteran space and I cherish every day I got to spend working with the mentors, proteges, and ACP staff. 

I feel like it’s more dangerous to make a veteran feel forced to stay in a situation that isn’t working for them for fear of being a metric. Moving around in your first year should be normalized and encouraged!

I’m a veteran who’s already back on the job hunt after a short time at my first position and I don’t feel any way about it besides knowing I’m putting myself first and I’m proud of my efforts.

Next week, I'll continue my writing about the steps I took every month of my retirement journey, but this past week and even right now...I'm focusing on me.