Never be afraid of the mountains in life

In the Spring of 2018 I decided my son and I would hike Kilimanjaro in August. He would be leaving for his freshman year at Boarding School the following September and I thought my idea was brilliant: we would bond over a once in a lifetime adventure and he would learn anything is possible. 

I started training, as one does for such an intense excursion, it was easily evident Ryder wasn't on board. Despite the pushback, when August 1 hit, we were on a plane to Africa. 

As we approached the highest free standing mountain in the world, lugging our 18lb gear, we shared nervous energy but excitement. This was really happening.

We shared a tent, his choice. 

We didn’t bathe for 8 days, despite long hard upward battles covered in sweat.

We hiked through 5 climate zones, it was awesome, but it was also freezing. 

We passed mile markers, and milestones, some exhilarating, some terrifying.

For 6 days he was like Legolas from Lord of the Rings climbing up that mountain and I was a solid 15 minutes behind the group.

With one day left to summit, 17,000 feet above sea level, sooooo far from where we had come, he learned something that all leaders, entrepreneurs and all moms know, but not many teenage boys understand: sometimes life does not go as planned. 

Altitude sickness took Ryder DOWN. He was sick, and when I say sick, I mean sick. My poor 14 year old, who could barely stand on his own two feet had to climb down 10,000 ft to the next camp. We couldn’t stay, we had no choice but to go. 

As parents we want to protect our children and do what you can to ensure their comfort. In this situation I could carry his back pack, but I could not carry him. It's hard to explain to your child, especially when they are suffering, that you are only human. I looked at my sweet, sick, boy and said: "my love, If I could do this for you, I gladly would, but I can’t. I can not carry you down this mountain, only you can. But I will be by your side every single step of the way. Take it slowly, take it easy. Rest when you need to.” 

As we walked and he rested, I realized that it was a near perfect metaphor for life, and the best lesson ever. I can’t live life for my son, I can only be by his side. As we failed in summiting, we succeeded in learning that sometimes no matter how hard you try, life has other plans for you: dig deep and do the work as if you had no other option to get down your mountain, whatever that mountain is. 

But if you don’t climb the mountains, you don’t learn the lessons. So never ever be afraid of the mountains. 

As a side note: he has not forgiven me yet. But he will.