None of us is OK -- and that's OK.

Do you feel guilty when someone asks, “How are you doing?” During this global pandemic, with 90,000 deaths in the United States and predictions of millions more who will die in developing countries, what can you possibly complain about?

I have experience with survivor’s guilt. Someone very close to me died, and while it was a trauma I still may not have fully realized, today I am living with my two healthy sons, with a roof over our heads and a world of possibility. And sometimes it seems like I don’t deserve the happy parts of my life, because it came at the expense of a tragedy I didn’t cause.

So here we are in a global pandemic, and I’m exhausted. Defeated. Angry. Feeling sorry for myself. And wondering if I’m allowed to have my own little pity party.

It shouldn't be a one-way street. When others share their challenges, I am quick to acknowledge their feelings. It’s not a contest of who has the most ‘tragedy’ points and who’s allowed to wallow. We are all suffering. It’s a freaking global pandemic. None of us is OK. So why is it so hard to be gentle with myself?

When I wonder, “How bad is bad enough?” I need to acknowledge that it’s OK for me to have a tough time, even though it’s not the toughest time in the history of the world. If any of you are feeling this way, I hope you’ll be gentle with yourselves. I’ll try, too.