Part 1: How to Deal with Uncertainty

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 17 years old. Everything I knew to be true was completely upended with one sentence: I’m going to die within the year. My life was filled with certainty: a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a loving mother to encourage me to overcome the odds that faced a young woman of color growing up in Baltimore City. But everything changed that day.

Confront and Embrace Your Fears

 Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage mean we face our fears. We are able to say, “I have fallen, but I will get up.” – Maya Angelou

What was I afraid of? Continuing my education without my mother’s support. I was afraid to apply to colleges because my grades weren’t good enough, I didn’t have any money, and above all, I was afraid to continue my education without my mother.

So instead of applying, I decided to work in a small shoe store in one of the malls. I loved it. I was making a lot of money by an 18-year old’s standards. I was able to help my sister take care of our little brother. I had access to the coolest shoes. And I cried myself to sleep every night because I actually wanted to go to college but was too afraid to move forward without her.

Until it hit me: everyday life is an uncertainty. Why am I blocking myself from what I want because I’m unsure of the outcome? My mother worked hard to instill in me the values of independence, strength and courage. Am I going to let all of her hard work go to waste because I’m too afraid to continue my education without her?

 When your passion and drive are bigger than your fears, you just dive. – Viola Davis

Instead of exaggerating my fears (as my brain wanted to do), I decided to confront and embrace them. And just like that, a weight was lifted. My fears were still present, but I accepted them with courage and perseverance.

I approached college life with a positive and open mind, and I know that this mindset shift helped me to develop my talent for learning. I rarely missed a class, lived in the library, and made the Dean’s List more times than I remember.

By confronting and embracing my fear of higher learning, I opened myself up to a plethora of opportunities. I enjoyed the challenges presented to me. I didn’t mind failing at some of these challenges because I saw them as opportunities for growth. 

None of us can predict the future. Dealing with the unknown is scary and our first instinct may be to run away or engage in avoidance tactics. But when we embrace the unknown and thrive in the face of uncertainty, we begin to take charge of our lives and our exploration of new possibilities are endless.

Stay tuned for the continuation of my personal journey of transformation.

Nikki Jones is an Agile Transformation Coach. If you’re ready to plan for your evolution in tech, hit her up.