Sometimes Sh*t Doesn't Work Out

Life can be quite shitty at times. And it’s not your fault.

Layoffs are an unavoidable business reality during times of economic instability. Leaders want to be optimists, and in many cases that looks like growth.

No one should be surprised.

How they are designed and executed are the variables and decisions that may warrant inquiry. No business or person is immune to the disruptive nature of life circumstances.

As an ally to all, I want to be helpful to those who have been impacted by any recent life disruption - job loss, relationship loss, illness, financial woes, uncertainty…fill in the blank.

High on my list are loss, layoffs, and the health of those impacted - both the unemployed and still employed.

It's triggering.

Rightfully so, you will spend plenty of time and energy on just making it through each day.

First, let yourself experience whatever emotions present themselves. It’s not easy but it is necessary. To avoid unhealthy stagnation, try to not stay in any one emotional state too long. With deliberation and intention, focus on moving from ‘now to next.’ Period.

Focusing on the ‘why’ – why it happened, why me, why now is a potentially counterproductive exercise that you will likely not find a satisfactory answer to in your reflection. No matter how many times you turn it over in your brain. Time to move. 

How?

Right now, there are a lot of people sharing their opinions and perspectives in your direction. There is a lot of noise.

No matter who it is or how you perceive their intent, know that at some point there will be quiet. There will be time and space to reflect on what’s happening now and how to actually move from now to next.

In those moments where you are hearing only your voice in your head, I offer you a way to hear yourself and gain directional momentum. 

Own

Most importantly – please be kind to yourself. Harness the aggressive self-belief that got you hired in the first place. Own that you are badass, you are beautiful, and you belong. 

Consider

The following is a frame I created and frequently use myself, to help people navigate the complexities of life and business. Use it as it applies to your circumstance and pass it along to those in need. 

GROWTH - GRIT - GRATITUDE - GRACE

Yep, another ‘4 things’. Go with it.

While the words and the related research around these four words aren’t new, linking them together is powerful. I use them myself and it has saved me multiple times from staying in dark places way too long.

Everything begins and ends with how you think about things. Your mindset matters most to get you from now to next. Rumination is expected but making a decision to move forward is critical.

The best thing you can do right now is adopt a healthy mindset to navigate this chaotic time. There is no particular sequence to how you use these cues.

Just use them!  

GROWTH

We are a species that never stops evolving. View this life event as a part of your evolution. You will grow from this moment in time but you have to be open to the lesson.

I’m not talking about silver linings. I’m referring to looking at the lessons you learned along the way ‘before’ life blindsided you. You’ve been learning and growing the whole time.

Look at the best of you and remember that you’re at this point in your life because you are f@*king good. 

GRIT 

Focused effort over an extended period of time. Angela Duckworth has done amazing work in this space.

My take on grit is that we all have it, just at varying levels. No matter how you learned how to ‘get back up’ or how you earned your ‘keep going’ credentials, now is the time to access the grit that has people in awe of how far you’ve come or what you’ve accomplished.

Reflect on your grit origin story and get moving. It’s just the next step. 

GRATITUDE

Focused appreciation for what you do have - because of others. None of us reached this point in our life without the help and sacrifice of others.

Life’s defining moments are always accompanied by the acknowledgment that we have so much to be grateful for. We are who we are and where we are because of individuals who believed in us.

Let gratitude be the fuel for your next decision.

GRACE

We are human first.

Beautifully complex and flawed. We somehow intuitively understand that we should show grace to others. Mostly because we don’t know a person’s story - what they’ve gone through or are going through.

The ask now is to extend grace to yourself. We are all imperfect. Don’t focus on validating personal errors to rationalize your current condition. Celebrate your efforts.

The consistency of your attempts defines your greatness over time. 

GROWTH - GRIT - GRATITUDE - GRACE

You own what happens next. Choose to think forward. The next time quiet comes your way, choose a way to ‘think and do forward’ so you can decide who you want to be in the next chapter of your story. 

— Reggie Butler