That's Mrs. Snack Lady to you

We are on day seven of virtual school with a 3rd and 1st grader. I've literally gone through all five stages of grief over the situation -- for the kids, for the parents, and the teachers. But I can't help but laugh and find humor in this real-life comedy sketch we find ourselves in (queue the teachers asking kids to unmute, the frozen or dropped calls due to wifi issues, and the endless snack requests - seriously how much do 8 and 6 year olds need to eat!).

We are finding a new rhythm as a family -- with my family at home and at work. Here are a few things that I'm trying to do as we figure it out.

Acknowledgement: My husband and I spent an entire weekend creating a special classroom area for our girls, hoping to ease their transition to virtual school. I mean who doesn't love a fun makeover. My eldest burst into tears upon seeing the new set up, not from joy but an overwhelming sense of disappointment and frustration. In my effort to jazz up the less than ideal situation, I forgot to acknowledge that not being able to go to school and see your friends and teacher, just sucks. For those who've worked with me, they know I'm an optimist through and through. My default is to just power through and believe things will all work out. This is flawed thinking, especially right now. I simply can not keep my existing work schedule while also playing snack lady, IT specialist, and teacher's aide. It's not sustainable without a shift in my expectations of myself (as Elsa says, let it go, let it go!). I'm learning to ask for grace and flexibility from my team and learning not to sweat the small stuff (yes, my kids will probably interrupt our call, and yes they wore their pajamas to school). I'm also trying not to sugarcoat the situation when colleagues ask how things are going. It's so easy to punt having a "real" conversation by responding with "It's going!" Learning to be vulnerable in those moments can be massively freeing and provides a buffer you didn't even realize you needed at work. What I've found through these conversations is that everyone is dealing with their own versions of "unprecedented” times and being able to support them and lean on one another through this is so critical.

Self-care: Who knew my commute into the office was self-care in hindsight. Singing at the top of my lungs on my drive home gave me a way to transition from work to home. These transitions and moments to fill your cup are pretty hard to find right now, but couldn't be more needed. You'll know immediately when you find it, because it just leaves you feeling good. I bought a ukulele last month. Squeezing in those 10- 20 minute sessions, even with the added soundtrack of my kids running around, has felt like a magical switch to a calmer and happier version of me. Professionally, self-care looks like stepping away from my monitor at least 2-3 times a day. Having a good old phone conversation (I know, crazy right?) while sitting outside or having a "walk and talk" meeting makes you realize vitamin D is also good for your soul. And MOST importantly, I'm prioritizing planned time off, even when it's not the original vacation we planned. I know it feels gratuitous especially given travel limitations and so much going on in the world, but giving yourself permission to step away from juggling so many things at once is something I think we can all get behind and need right now. 2020 isn't done with us yet ;)

Humor: Even as I write this post, we've had wildfires raging across California damaging homes and businesses and tens of thousands of people are being evacuated in the middle of a pandemic. Planned power outages have added yet another disruption to our workday and personal lives. It's hard not to feel the weight of everything 2020 seems to be throwing our way (what a giver!). When I'm feeling this weight, I try to remember the question I asked myself when the shelter in place began -- What do I want to remember about this time when I look back five years from now? For me it always comes back to moments of fun, laughter, and spontaneity alongside the things that were just plain hard or scary. It is in my control to create these moments today for my family, my teammates, and for myself. Nobody has a playbook for what we are going through right now. We are literally all winging it and doing the best we can. Somehow this fact brings a smile to my face because it means the kids are alright. We are alright. We will figure this out, now excuse me as I go grab some snacks.  

What do you hope to remember about this time when you look back five years from now?