We Can Eat Meat AND Save the Planet

Seaweed feed. Research scientists are claiming that feeding it to cows may reduce…uhm… emissions up to 99% and save the planet. This is a dramatic reduction of their methane hoofprint. Researchers have not indicated if the new odor resembles a sea breeze.

Just last week, politicians made new calls to end beef production, even though this research was first published in 2016. This means DC lawmakers are definitely behind on cow gas. It appears they can’t kelp themselves. Perhaps the ignorant politicians are using this issue to milk support from their uninformed supporters?

Ranchers and consumers have a lot at steak. In light of the seaweed research, they consider the calls to stop cow procreation to be udder folly.

The ranchers in my home Nation of… uh… state of Texas are considerate. They have invited the Senators and Representatives to tour the feed lots and encourage them to dress in their finest. Since they understand that seaweed can reduce emissions on both ends, they will be serving the Congress folks a lunch of grilled Texas-Style algae, with jalapeño toppings. The ranchers are also prepared to bury the hatchet. In a rephrasing of the quote by Alexander Pope, the ranchers mused, “To err is human; to forgive, bovine.”