If Not You, Then Who?

There's a nice lady who cleans up our building every Monday. I don't know her name because she's new. (We worked with Joan for at least 14 years before that.) Today, I saw her gathering up a bunch of cardboard boxes that people in my building put >near< the recycling bins, but not in them. Wedged between two bins.

The thing is, it kind of makes sense when you're putting them there, and I guess I get that. But the next thought is, "Who's going to take the recycling out to the curb, and how will that process go?

The answer is: this nice lady for the first part and "not well" for the second part.

Do You Know Who I Am?

A lot of times in business and in life, we only see our side of the interaction. Maybe we're in a hurry. Maybe we've got other things on our mind. One never knows what else is happening.

Years ago, I was really mad at my general practitioner because for maybe the ninth visit in a row, he was ridiculously late. I sat alone in his little exam room for maybe a full hour after being brought in there. And boy was I mad. I lit into him. I'm a professional. You're a professional. How hard could it possibly be to be prompt and timely, and what kind of operation are you running? (On and on. I was so grumpy.)

When I was done, he said, "You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. I really need to value your time more. I was running late because I had to let a woman know that her cancer had come back, and that this time, there wasn't anything we could do for her. I should have sent someone to let you know I was going to be a while."

Annnnnnd... yeah.

What I've Written Are Two Views

The first view is "Who could be so rude as to let someone else have to pick up after them?" In the second, the view is, "You really never know what someone's going through."

I think the people who left their cardboard for our nice person (I'll learn her name next time I see her) to pick up didn't think through what was going to happen after they wedged it between the two barrels. I don't think they were being rude. They just weren't thinking it through.

I know for SURE that my mindset was not on the possible reasons a medical doctor might be late for an appointment, and I was seeing the world ONLY from my point of view. I really could've thought that one through, and obviously, I sure learned a lesson that day about trying to assume kindness and good intent about the people around me at all costs.

Both of these views require one important ingredient: self-awareness. I guess two: self-awareness and the ability to adjust your behaviors accordingly. It's great if you know you're being a jerk. It's better if you DON'T act like a jerk.

We Can Always Choose to Act

The distance between stimulus and response is humankind's greatest opportunity, said Stephen R. Covey, by way of Viktor Frankl. Something happens, we CHOOSE what we do with that, and then we respond. That choice is where it's at.

When Christopher S. Penn and I ran the first ever PodCamp at Bunker Hill Community College in Boston back in 2006, someone said to me after the event that every time they saw me, I was picking up bottles and napkins and throwing them in the trash. I said at the time that I grew up as a Boy Scout, and we were always made to police the area for trash and leave things better than we found them. I hadn't even realized I was doing it.

That story makes me look good. I've done the bad choice a million times also. I've not stopped to help. I've left something in a worse state. I've forgotten to consider how others might feel in situations.

But like Pema Chödrön points out, "Buddhism is all about perpetual chances to make a different choice."

Be Kind

Try to consider how your actions might impact others. Remember that others might be going through something you don't know about. Act and respond accordingly.

I just think everything would be better this way. Don't you?

Chris...