ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Things People Have Yelled Down to Me, a Person Trapped Alone at the Bottom of a Well
“Nobody wants to be around you if you’re just gonna dwell on this well stuff.” -
As a Feminist, I Believe a Woman Can Be Miserable Whether She Is Childless or Not
“It’s time men like Vance abandon their outdated, regressive ideas about women’s misery and realize that all women can be miserable, whether they are childless or not.” -
Which Emojis Are Best for a Layoff Email?
“Please note that the recent indictment of our CEO for embezzlement 🤪 is entirely unrelated to this restructuring program.” -
This is NOT a Tradwife’s Confession About the Joys of Back-to-School
“It’s been three months nonstop with my little darlings, Rifle (8), Brick (7), Eagle (6), Riesling Marie (5), and Paizleee Marie (also 5—they are not twins), and I’ve never been happier.” -
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
An Open Letter to Whoever Is Trying to Hack My Instagram Account
“Hey, man. Just got that little automatic email you generated trying to hack into my Instagram account. Dude, no. You do not want to go in there. Seriously. This is for your own good.”
Trending
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August 15, 2024If Tim Walz Is America’s Dad, These Are America’s Other Family Members
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
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August 28, 2024Will Someone Please Help Me Slander Kamala Harris in a Way That Sticks?
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August 29, 2024Building Your Fantasy Philosophy Department Team
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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September 5, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Zoë Hitzig
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August 29, 2024Reviews of New Food: Costco Readywise Emergency Food Bucket
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August 27, 2024Been There, Smelled That: Reviving the Aromas of Greek Antiquity
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August 23, 2024If They Told Me We Were Poor, I Would’ve Pretended to Be Color-Blind
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August 22, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Notes from Chicago: Scanlon, Part II
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August 20, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Notes from Chicago: Allen, Part II
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
Over in the Store
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“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
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“This novel is a folding chair to the back of the head.”
—David James Poissant, author of Lake Life and The Heaven of Animals -
Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
—Isaac Fitzgerald, The Today Show (author's pick) -
“It's not just that I trust Sam Sax's imagination. My sincere belief is that Sam's creative freedom unlocks the potential for our liberation.”
—Saeed Jones
Recent Posts
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September 4, 2024A Reminder to Submit Your First Week Attendance to the Registrar, in the Style of Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses
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September 4, 2024Ways I Keep My Husband in Our Mixed-Weight Marriage
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September 3, 2024Beotrump
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September 3, 2024The Sacrificial Ram Has a Few Complaints
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August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
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