Your skin is full of temperature receptors that tell you when an object is hot or cold, so you can protect yourself from potential harm. These receptors are helpful for, say, not burning yourself on a hot kettle, but they're all great for your sex life when you engage in temperature play.
“Temperature play includes using heat or cold in your sexual play,” says Bryony Cole, Lovehoney’s Sextech Advisor. “The idea behind this is that variation in temperature stimulates your neuroreceptors, creating a ripple of sensations in your body.”
You can use ice cubes, freeze sex toys, drip wax on your partner and so much more when engaging in temperature play. “Temperature play can be incorporated as a form of foreplay, during sex, and it can also be used as a way to relax after sex or a scene/sexual experience,” Cole says.
To learn of all the creative ways to partake in temperature play, we spoke to Cole and Ashley Cobb, a sex blogger and educator, and sex toy matchmaker at Lovehoney. They provided ways to heat things up and cool things off in the bedroom.
Cold Temperature Play Activities
1) Tease with an ice cube.
“Ice can be used to massage nipples, inner thighs, neck, or under the breasts,” Cobb says. You can also place an ice chip in your mouth (or take sips from a cold glass of water) when you go down on someone; the natural heat from your mouth plus the cool from the ice can elicit a titillating response. (Be sure to use a small piece of ice so you don't run the risk of choking.)
2) Chill your sex toys.
Did you know you can put glass or stainless steel sex toys in the fridge to cool them off before playing? “Simply pop them in the fridge or dip them in a glass of ice water to allow them to absorb the coolness before pleasuring yourself or your partner with them,” Cobb says. You can also use a blindfold to take the surprising aspects of temperature play to the next level. “Blindfolds heighten senses and create anticipation,” Cobb says. “Blindfolds will have your senses on edge from not being able to see and predict where the ice is going to go next.”
3) Bring in some cold food.
“Lick ice cream off your partner’s nipples, testicles, or anywhere fun,” Cole says. If you’re not a fan of ice cream, you can use Popsicles or any delicious, frozen treat. Try running a Popsicle across your partner's skin and down their chest. Then lick up that sugary trail.
4) Alternate between your warm mouth and cooled hands.
Next time you go down on a sexual partner, have a bowl of ice-cold water next to you, Cole suggests. Dip your hands in there until they're chilled. If you’re eating out someone with a vulva, use your warm tongue on their clitoris and digitally penetrate them with your cold hands. If you’re going down on someone with a penis, use your warm mouth to suck their head, and your cold hands to manually stimulate their shaft.
Hot Temperature Play Activities
1) Massage with warm oils.
Try dripping warm oil onto your partner's back and giving them an erotic massage, Cole says. (Massage oils don't microwave well, so it's best to buy a massage oil warmer; you place your bottle in the container and it warms it up for you.) An easier option is to buy a massage candle, where the flame turns the hard wax into warm, melty massage oil. You light the candle 15-30 minutes before playing, blow it out, and then you have your "oil."
2) Use a warming sex toy.
“There are numerous male masturbators that heat up, like the Blowmotion Power Heat Warming Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator,” Cole says. You can use these toys solo, or with a partner. Lora DiCarlo has a line of warming plugs and vibrators, too.
Blowmotion Power Heat Warming Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator
3) Explore wax play.
This involves dripping hot wax onto naked skin. “There are massage and sex-specific candles specifically formulated to burn at lower temperatures than regular wax candles,” Cobb explains. You want to use these specific candles when having sex/engaging in wax play. (Regular candles can be too hot and can potentially burn your partner.) Gently drip some hot wax onto your partner’s back and watch them squirm with delight.
4) Cautiously play with fire.
“Fire play involves fire near or directly on a person’s skin, including using candle flames near a person’s skin, wiping alcohol on the skin and lighting it, tapping the skin with a lit torch, or using a flaming whip or flogger on the skin,” Cole says. Note: Playing with fire is very dangerous, and requires taking numerous safety precautions, including having wet towels or fire extinguishers on-hand. You can find more information on safely engaging in fire play here.
