Ask Amy: You aren’t obligated to attend a party held for a stranger and attended by other strangers

DEAR AMY: This week I received an invitation to a “pre-wedding celebration” for a woman I have never met. It looks like a bridal shower invite, but I honestly don’t quite know.

When my husband got home I shared this mystery with him. Do we know this person?

He finally figured out that this event is related to one of his co-workers and that this woman is his co-worker’s fiancée. Evidently we are going to be invited to their wedding but have not received that invitation. Furthermore, it is unlikely that we would attend.

Am I obligated to attend this celebration? If I don’t attend, should I send a gift? (The registry was listed on the invitation.)

– Puzzled

DEAR PUZZLED: I have chastised people for accusing marrying couples of inviting people to their various celebrations as a “gift grab,” but I have to admit that, hoo-boy, this sure seems like one.

You are not obligated to attend a party held for a total stranger and attended by other strangers. You are not obligated to give a gift to this person.

The polite thing to do is to give a quick RSVP and hold onto your wallet.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)