Dear Abby: I was appalled to receive a graduation invitation from an estranged friend’s son who wants a gift

DEAR ABBY: My friend “Gene” and I have been friends since elementary school. We’re now in our 50s. We were inseparable best friends all those years. When we were about 30, I started noticing our friendship seemed to be a one-way street because he made no effort to initiate contact.

Gene was gracious and inviting if I called him, but he never called me. Instead, he focused on friends he could benefit from professionally and withdrew from old friends like me. About 20 years ago, I stopped calling him and decided to move on with other friends who were more congenial and courteous.

You could count on one hand how many times I’ve seen or spoken to Gene in the past 10 years, but today I received a graduation invitation from his son who wants a cash gift for his high school graduation. Abby, his son wouldn’t know me if I tapped him on the shoulder. To say I was appalled is an understatement.

I feel no obligation to send money to someone I don’t know, and even less than that given the way Gene abandoned our decades-long friendship years ago. How can I handle this tactfully without coming across as rude or bitter? -- SHOCKED IN THE BLUEGRASS STATE

DEAR SHOCKED: The polite way to handle it would be to send the young man a congratulatory card, wishing him well.

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DEAR ABBY: A very dear relative has just announced her engagement. This will be her third marriage. Are gifts necessary? -- HOPE NOT IN NEBRASKA

DEAR HOPE NOT: If you attend the festivities, you shouldn’t come empty-handed. Some sort of gift is necessary. However, if you have generously shelled out for your relative’s first two marriages, your third gift need only be something modest you think the couple might enjoy.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.