Dear Abby: ‘My marriage is over,’ says spouse of physically aggressive woman who squandered savings

DEAR ABBY: As far as I’m concerned, my marriage is over. For the past 10 years or more, my wife has recklessly spent our joint savings and my pension savings, taken out credit cards in my name without my knowledge and put us through bankruptcy. We now have over $50k in debt with nothing left. She has also been having affairs on the side.

I can’t trust a word she says or continue to live like this. Each time, she has begged for forgiveness and promised not to do it anymore -- until she does it a week later. We agreed to separate a month ago, but now she realizes there’s not going to be any regular income from me and wants to stay married. When I told her no, she attacked me physically.

I don’t want the police involved. I have a daughter on the spectrum. Although she’s a young adult, she will blame me, and what relationship I have with her will be destroyed. I have been advised to not move out, as that can be seen by the courts as abandoning my property to her. Please advise, Abby. -- END OF THE ROAD

DEAR END: The best advice I can offer you is to tell this story to the best divorce lawyer you can find (interview SEVERAL) and follow that person’s advice TO THE LETTER. If you must remain on the property, buy a sturdy lock for your bedroom door, and use it. If your wife becomes violent again, DO involve the police, and get out of there as soon as you safely can.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.