Dear Annie: Will I receive a baby shower invitation before a thank-you note for the wedding gift?

DEAR ANNIE: A dear friend’s daughter was married last year, and we selected a beautiful wedding gift. After six months, I inquired of her mother if the gift was received. She said others have been asking the same; the new husband did not like how the bride wrote the thank-you notes, and they were never sent. Now a baby is coming. I am cringing when I look at the mail. Is a shower invitation on its way? More gifts? I feel used. What should I do? -- Hesitant

DEAR HESITANT: It sounds like you’re feeling preemptively stressed over a situation that hasn’t yet occurred. Try to focus on the present. If you do receive an invitation, just remember that gifts are an expression of your goodwill, not a requirement. If the lack of a thank-you note still stings and affects your willingness to contribute further, it’s OK to politely decline the invitation.

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