DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son and his two close friends turn 30 in the same week. My future daughter-in-law and the two friends’ significant others decided they would do a 30th birthday for the three guys at a bar -- where everyone can meet.
But it’s a cash bar for drinks and any food. Is it rude to ask guests to pay their own way? Or perhaps it’s the thing to do for the youth of today?
GENTLE READER: While it is rude to ask guests to pay for the party, the women in question are cleverer -- and less impolite -- than you think.
Miss Manners counts three hosts (the young women) and three guests (the young men). If each of the former is paying for each of the latter, then everyone has fulfilled the obligations exactly. Even if that is not literally the case, soon-to-be-engaged couples have been known to share expenses, even if they fall short of generally recognized accounting practices.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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