Miss Manners: I‘m hesitant to speak in Spanish with someone whose English may be better than my Spanish

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A Chilean friend of mine told me that he once spoke in Spanish to a store clerk, who mumbled something about “gringos.” My friend took this to mean that the clerk thought he was a gringo showing off his bad Spanish.

I’ve been studying Spanish for years, but I’ll never be fluent in it (my brain is too old). So I’m hesitant to initiate speaking in Spanish with someone whose English may be better than my Spanish.

Either way seems rude -- not speaking in Spanish when you can, or being presumptuous about the other person’s ability to speak English. I want to be polite!

GENTLE READER: It should not surprise you to hear that the answer will depend on the language and the country. Depending on your knowledge of both, you can adapt your preparation and behavior to get the best results.

In some countries, making an effort to speak the local language is taken as a compliment and therefore makes up for minor defects in accent or grammar. In others, accent is more important than grammar. And in at least one country Miss Manners can think of, not speaking the local language perfectly is taken as a personal affront, if not an indication of imbecility.

Surprisingly, the levels of tourism enjoyed by the above countries do not directly correlate with the locals’ behavior. In extremis, watch what other people are doing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)