Dear readers,
A couple weeks ago, I answered a question from a person whose wife couldn’t stop talking during TV shows and movies at home.
I suggested a few ideas, including extra large popcorn, an air horn and a notepad for writing her questions down. But I missed the most obvious and best answer. How do I know? You let me know!
Multiple people sent in the same suggestion for Please Be Quiet. And I will let those readers take it from here.
Dear Lizzy,
If they are watching a streaming show, the moment the wife starts talking over the show then the writer should press pause, showing they care about what is being said, and thus not dividing focus. If the show is paused lots of times for trivial comments, so be it. Over time, the interrupter will feel heard, and the writer will not miss much of the show.
Also, if it’s a live TV show, pressing mute could work.
Frequent pauses and volume muting may plainly show that there are lots of interruptions, and also that you care about what your spouse says.
It’s also good to pause whenever you have a comment as well; one comment could be to say that you are pausing the show so you can listen to each other, because it is draining to have your focus divided.
40 Years Of Marriage
Lizzy,
My solution to this problem is to hold onto the remote and hit pause when a question comes up.
M.
Dear Lizzy,
How about this simple solution – pause the show when she talks? If someone has to take the time to find the remote and press pause, it will make her aware of how intrusive her talking is. But it might turn out that spending time talking is even more fun than watching TV or movies!
Yes, they might have to get some sort of DVR or similar that lets them pause and resume live TV, but so what?
R.
There you have it! I completely failed to come up with this elegant solution. Now, there’s one more solution a reader sent in that falls into a different category entirely.
Hi Lizzy,
I just read the note from the husband who has a wife who talks during movies and TV shows at home. My husband and I had the same problem. Not only did I talk too much, he was always wanting to change the channel. We were driving each other a bit crazy, and it definitely made for frustration and a bit of anger.
Our solution, which we implemented very early on in our relationship, was to watch TV in separate rooms. If this couple can handle that, they should try it. I think it totally made our marriage and relationship better.
We’ve been married for almost 30 years, and we very rarely watch things together. Yes, we go to movies, and I don’t talk. And yes, we do watch stuff together on TV. But 90% of the time, he’s in his room, and I’m in mine.
L.
Thank you to all the readers who wrote in to tell me so! Keep sending in your responses. I love to read them!
Lizzy
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