How to Co-Work From Home (Without Driving Each Other Nuts)

Being in close confinement with other people—even people you love—all day can make getting things done challenging. When Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast in 2012, I was already working from home. But then my husband was suddenly at home too, as were my 6-year-old daughter and visiting in-laws. In the midst of the coronavirus, many more people today are facing this same challenge across the world, as schools close and companies require staff to work from home. With a little planning and some extra patience, however, you and other members of your household can work and live together in peace—even when you’re unexpectedly forced to. Here’s how.

If you have to share a home office, carve out space for each person

Everyone has different workspace needs. I have tons of file folders and notebooks spread across my desk; my husband prefers a paperless setup with no peripherals like external monitors (the horror!). We give each other breathing room by having separate desks that are our territories, and there’s a tacit understanding that the creative mess on my desk isn’t a worse working setup than his minimalist one.

As you would with any shared living space, you both may have to compromise. To reduce friction, decide on ground rules that are familiar to people who work in open offices:

Wear headphones when listening to audio. Noise-cancelling headphones can signal to everyone that you’re in focus mode. Each person working should have their own pair.

Step out if you have to take a call. Agree on moving your laptop to another area of your home when you have to be on a video conference.

Don’t let your stuff suddenly take over their space. Desk organizers can help contain the clutter, but more important is decluttering the office regularly.

Respect each other’s work styles. One person may be more introverted and not want to chat throughout the day, while another may be overjoyed at having company. In this case, you might compromise by taking snack and lunch breaks together but limiting your in-office conversations to work-related ones. By reserving family or more social chats for your leisure time, you also create more of a divide between your job and the rest of your life—a challenge for many people who work from home.

Set up work schedules that fit you both. Try to agree on similar start and end times to your workday, or work in shifts (particularly if you have young children who need attention from one of you).

Better yet, have separate rooms to work in, if possible

If sharing a home office space becomes a real struggle, setting up shop in different rooms gives each person their own space in which to truly focus. Lifehacker senior health editor Beth Skwarecki and her husband have been working from home for 13 years—but her office is in the attic, while her husband’s is in the basement. Otherwise, she said, they’d drive each other nuts.

“I don’t have to hear his phone calls or the movies he puts on as background noise,” Skwarecki said. “He doesn’t have to deal with me snapping at him when he interrupts me as I’m trying to focus.”

Teach household members when it’s okay to interrupt you

Often, family members don’t understand that when you’re working from home, you’re actually at work. (They know you’re home. They can see you.) It can take a while to drive home the point that you can’t be interrupted while you’re working unless it’s an emergency. Here are some tips:

Define “emergency.” Be clear: Someone who breaks an arm, is bleeding, or wants to use the stove for the first time is an emergency. Not knowing where the tape dispenser is or wondering what’s for dinner or discovering a fun YouTube video is not an emergency.

Keep them occupied. If you have young children, working while they sleep or having another caretaker at home is a must (if you want to stay sane). Some parents I know have a toddler-sized desk stocked with crayons and toys so that their kids can “work” alongside them. (Or put the kid to work shredding your junk mail.)

Communicate clearly about communicating. Remind those who live with you to knock before entering if your office door is closed. (You might need something on your door, perhaps a light-up “On Air” sign, to let them know when you’re accepting visitors.) “If I’m in a meeting or a call, I’ll close my door, but I’ll also text [my husband] to let him know,” Skwarecki said. “This way, he won’t be surprised if I don’t respond to texts right away, and he knows not to come clomping up the stairs, yelling ‘Hey Beth!’ about some non-urgent thing. This goes both ways, of course.”

I’ll admit this is a shady move, but I put on a podcast (or a video with people talking in it) so that when someone barges into my office, I can silently point at the monitor like I’m on a conference call. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Set up “office hours.” I have an hour set aside during my workday when my attention is just on my daughter, and we play whatever she wants. Having that scheduled hour helps me balance work with my family life, and it gives her the reassurance that I want to spend time with her. The flexibility to adjust your hours is one of the great benefits of working from home.

That leads us to the most important point: Even though working from home while other household members are constantly around can be difficult and strange, try to make the most of it. It could be fun—and when it’s not, break out those headphones or go for a walk.