Thursday Night Mowing League 2024: Week 10 -- The 4th Falls On League Night
In case you haven't looked at the calendar, next week I'm ordering you to cease mowing operations to concentrate on celebrating freedom and summer
Let the record reflect that world ranking points WILL BE deducted if the league learns that you mowed on July 4th.
It's unacceptable behavior and it will not be tolerated,. The league office WILL NOT be open. The league social media accounts WILL NOT be open. TNML league staff WILL BE on break.
However, league representatives will do an audit upon returning from blasting fireworks and drinking beers to figure out which members need to be penalized. Don't let it be you.
We need your patriotic photos
Since you're not mowing, the league will gladly accept your patriotic content. Can you get a beautiful sunset photo of your flag pole? The league wants it. Do you spray paint the red, white and blue into your lawn? The league wants to see it.
Email: [email protected]
Thank you for the kind words re: Mrs. Screencaps' pollinator zone
I'd love for some scumbag climate terrorist Save the Bees nerd to try me. This is just part of the pollinator revitalization project that we've been working like crazy on for the last 12 months. Around this time last year, a neighbor dropped off a massive driftwood log he found in the Maumee River.
Mrs. Screencaps has been planting around that log ever since. It's beautiful. There's always something opening up. There's always something for the bees to suck on. The bugs have a home. The rabbits hide in there. The pollinators better send us Christmas cards.
The yard might be dry, but that garden isn't. It's lush AF.
Try me, Climate Terrorists.
From now on, we're calling it the ‘Thursday Night Mowing League World Rankings’
It just sounds better and this way, if someone from around the world wants to test his/her skills against the U.S.A., have at it. I know there are Canadians and even New Zealanders in the league, so it makes sense to start calling this the world rankings.
Here's the current crop of league members who are top 5 in the TNML World Rankings®.
You might notice that Texas high school football coach Bradford fell out of the top five. He's on vacation and it fell the week before a mandatory bye week.
Enter Coach Kuhn, who put in the work on a 110-degree Texas day. The league has to honor that type of performance. The guy literally risked his life to mow BEFORE a mandatory bye week.
There's also a massive fight over the five-spot. This week, Coach Freshwater got the nod, but he's in a battle with at least 6-7 others who are right there on the cut line.
It's anybody's game at this point. The top three is pretty steady, but I'm hearing there could be vacations coming up soon. That could open up the championship race.
You have to let these cases play out in court
BUY! BUY! BUY!
Notice the new sleeve logo on the latest offering from the 2024 TNML Summer Collection®. The guy next to you at the bar will see it and a conversation will start. Guaranteed.
BUY The "Get off my lawn" shirt.