Volleyball Influencer Kayla Simmons Takes Her Game To The Beach, Trump-Biden Golf Battle & A Meat Tower
My Presidential debate analysis is much different than others
1. Did you notice how both of them perked up when the talk turned to golf handicaps? It was an instant shift. The juices were flowing. These two wanted to compete right there. That was fun to see.
2. CNN should try to fit a few more bodies onto its GameDay set.
3. The gap between Axelrod and the black woman was distracting to the eye. They need to tighten up those two.
4. I'd go for another Presidential debate on how each candidate plans to Grow The Game® (golf).
5. "What's the ideal length of a golf round? Mr. Biden, you're first."
6. We've now entered the "I didn't have sexual relations with a porn star" stage of American politics. WILD. Somewhere Slick Willy was barely awake in his recliner and laughing at that one.
7. I was hoping for a question on scumbag politicians trying to jail people for using gas-powered mowers, but I'll take the golf talk and be happy about it. It would've also been nice to hear what Joe Biden is going to do to Make Rec Ball Great Again. Maybe the next debate.
Next week's challenge: I want to see Old Glory flying. I want to see photos of red, white and blue across the United States.
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This is how we're selecting Team USA U20 football teams from a guy who's seen how this all works; Thanks, travel football parents
- Mike writes:
Hi Joe – dropping you a note from the football hotbed of Massachusetts (hilarious) to give you some intel on how that team USA football works. Like most things in life, it’s a money thing.
They don’t really go out and recruit the best players out there. All they really do is hold regional camps across the country, which you have to pay to attend. And then if they identify you as a decent player, you’ll get invited to attend a "next level up" camp. Which also costs to attend and likely involves travel, hotel, etc.
And if you’re good at that camp, and can also afford to stay with it, you might get offered to join the national team for your age group and then pay to travel to some competition like this one that just happened. Team USA football basically amounts to Travel Ball for the gridiron.
I know this because I was fortunate enough to be able to put my son through the circuit back in 2015-2016. He enjoyed the experience and we have no regrets about it. Got to play on a U18 squad against team Canada in AT&T Stadium in Dallas (and crushed them!). There was a Japan team at that tournament and they were terrible!
My son was a very good player and ended up playing FCS football in college, but having USA football on his resume really didn’t help anything in the recruiting process. The team USA rosters are mostly just made up of kids who will likely end up playing D2 or D3 college ball and whose families have the means to take "football vacations".
So let’s hope Screencaps nation can come in off the ledge over this!
Nepo baby: LeBron is no different than the steel worker who gets his son on a job site even though he's done nothing to prove he deserves to be on a job site
- Jon in Denver writes:
Checking in from Denver and wanted to ask Screencaps Nation if there was any better example in professional sports where a team drafted purely based on nepotism? Just take a look at ESPN's pre-draft analysis.
Strengths: James is an explosive guard with strong defensive versatility whose upward trajectory out of high school was interrupted by a medical emergency that derailed his freshman season
Weaknesses: James did not have an overly productive season at USC, averaging just 4.8 points per game. Standing just under 6-foot-3 in shoes, he is not a dynamic ball handler or shot-creator, lacking assertiveness at times.
The verdict: James made strides as a senior in high school and had impressive showings in the spring all-star circuit, but he had a difficult time finding his footing at USC, especially as a scorer. His strong feel for the game, length, frame, budding shot-making prowess and competitiveness defensively give him plenty of things to work with in the long term if he can get back on the encouraging track he was on before his cardiac arrest.
Could you imagine the Bulls drafting Scottie Pippen's ex-wife's ex-boyfriend just to make MJ happy? Keep up the great work and hope all have a fantastic and safe 4th of July in the greatest country in the history of countries!
Kinsey:
1. Bronny didn't deserve to get drafted into the Serbian Triple-A basketball league. I didn't lose a second of sleep over the Lakers making sure Bron Bron's legacy has an additional line on the resume.
2. LeBron did exactly what so many other dads have done. It just happens to be that he plays basketball. Think of how many dads have hauled their sons into a trade because the son is heading for a dead-end in life. LeBron's like the businessman who finds some stupid job for his son to do at a company so the son will get his ass out of job on a daily basis. We've all seen this in action. We all know the dad who has four sons running the union hall where they do jack shit on a daily basis.
3. Outrage like this from a repeated failure like Bomani is amusing. Of course it's "clown shit." Being outraged that it happened is outrageous. This is the definition of fake outrage from a true clown.
4. I remember my dad getting me summer jobs at an undisclosed government agency by paying $100 to the right political campaign coffers. It was $100 per kid he wanted hired in the early-to-mid-1990s. He could pay the $100 on Friday and us kids would have jobs on Monday morning. My reward: working with scalding blacktop on a daily basis with zero shade on Chicken Bristle Rd. or weed eating a drainage ditch dubbed the Panama Canal while covered head to toe in protection from the jungle conditions where weeds were six-feet high. I like to think it built character and a belief in my head that I never wanted to go back to that lifestyle.
5. Now we sit back and watch the Lakers fiasco like guys on a job site watching the nepo baby in action and bitching about it for years and years. Let's get a bag of popcorn and enjoy the stupidity of what LeBron's going to cook up.
Memorable parking spots you've landed
- Paul B. will never forget this one:
My best parking spot is best because it was memorable. It was a mile from Talladega. When NASCAR was popular, Talladega would pack in 175,000+. You had to have a system. We parked a mile from the track in a yard for free and hopped in the back of a pickup for the last mile, arriving and leaving. It was a great system.
In 2000, we watched Earnhardt roll from 18th to 1st in 4 laps for his final victory. He passed Jr. as he took the lead. I have never seen/heard Talladega so nuts! We lingered a bit to take in the moment, it was my cousin's first race and #3 was his guy. We leave the track, catch a pickup back to the car.
Turned out we were parked next to some of the ESPN crew - Benny Parsons, Jerry Punch and Jack Arute and another. We asked how the heck they wound up there and they said they got stuck in traffic and had to hoof it in. Benny was still going crazy about what just happened.
They yucked it up with us and we got a signature "WOW" from Benny before we all jumped in cars and took off. Alas, no phones for pics in October 2000.
- John W. writes:
This will show my age but we call a great parking spot "The Kojak Spot" as in the old TV show Telly Savalas would just pull up outside of wherever he was headed and pull into the perfect spot. When it happens now my car passengers will always hear "KOJAK!"
- Allen joins in:
Not so much a parking spot story as much as a parking ability story.
The one year all three kids had spring break the same week we took our family vacation to the Smoky Mountains (first non-beach vacation for the kids). The road to Clingman’s Dome (on the Appalachian Trail) was opening a week earlier than scheduled (closed for the winter due to snowy conditions). We hop in the rented minivan and start making our way there. We arrive late-morning to an overflowing parking lot.
There was still some snow alongside the road, so there were no other options besides the lot. There are two or three cars in front of me, so it’s not looking good. We get stopped about halfway through the lot. I can see someone in a small SUV jostling back and forth in a parallel parking spot and she eventually leaves.
I thought she was just having troubles getting out of the spot since the lot was so packed. By some miracle, the cars in front of us pass by the spot. A quick one-backup into the spot gets the family in easy walking distance to Clingman’s Dome.
As we got out of the van, another dad standing nearby who had watched said that the small SUV (smaller than our minivan) was actually trying to park there and eventually gave up.
Raccoon Killer Sheriff John on the art of rundowns
- John G. emails:
Been a while.
Your story about the rundowns in your baseball game brought back some good memories. That's probably one thing I'm the most proud of, is that "my" kids could always execute rundowns because my teams practiced them every single day at every practice going all the way back to 8u coach pitch teams. In Little League, the coach would always start the drill standing at the pitchers mound throwing to first, but by the time we were old enough to play open bases the drill also included a pitcher and a catcher and pickoffs and throwdowns. Everyone rotated through every position (except the catchers) and everyone had to try and run and practice baserunning at the same time. Nothing was more satisfying in a game than seeing the catcher in his gear on third base because the rotation had gone that far and the opposing base coach just hanging his head because he knew his runner was eventually dead by that point. It was just a matter of time.
I coached in a competitive Little League for both of my kids for about 10 years straight, plus a couple of "select" teams every fall. I miss little things like running practices and teaching kids to pitch (on my teams, EVERYBODY pitched and EVERYBODY started at least one game per season on the mound), but I don't miss coaching at all. Would do it all over again a heartbeat and at the same time I'm glad it's over. (I was also the treasurer for the local league for 5 years, plus an extra year after my kid aged out)
Both of my kids are in high school now and no longer play baseball. I don't regret a thing about coaching baseball, but I'm also glad it ended three years ago.
Also, I had to mow my discus sector early last night because it was too tall to find thrown discuses easily, but I'm going to mow around the barn tonight and will send you some pics that you will like. I also owe you pics of the new house now that we are living here, but it's not quite ready for publicity yet.
Finally too, no dead raccoons this summer. My younger son said the other day, "we must have killed them all last summer." I laughed at his naivete. They will be back and eventually they will be dead.
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That's it. The sun is out for now. There's a huge blob of rain coming from Chicago and things are about to get nasty until late Saturday night. I'm about to lose the final June Saturday to nearly two inches of rain. This sucks, but we'll make the best of it.
Go have a great weekend.
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