How to Keep New Year's Resolutions, According to Experts

Keep resolutions realistic.

"It's easier to stick to your resolution if you have a chance of achieving your goal," said Caroline Leaf, Ph.D., cognitive neuroscientist and author of Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess.

Start small and realistically in order to set yourself up for success. "While this may sound like common sense, make a resolution that overall has a positive impact on your life and is attainable," said Julian Lagoy, M.D., a psychiatrist with Mindpath Health. "A lot of people can make resolutions that are so far-fetched and unattainable that it's unreasonable to think they can be achieved in the next year."

Choose your words carefully.

When it comes to making a resolution, the words you use can have an impact on the outcome. "On a neurolinguistic level, word choice can make all the difference between wanting to keep a New Year's resolution, and not being truly invested in the change," said Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Sonoma County, Calif., and author of Joy From Fear. "When you create your resolutions, be sure to use verbiage such as 'I want to' rather than 'I should.' Those who want to see a change are far more likely to maintain resolutions compared to those whose resolutions feel like shame-induced 'shoulds'."

Turn a resolution into a routine.

The key to keeping New Year's resolutions is incorporating them into a routine, according to Dion Metzger, M.D., a psychiatrist practicing in Atlanta. "Most people think saying a resolution or writing it down is enough to turn it into a reality," said Metzger. "It's not about what the resolution is, but what you plan to do about it." Here's the three-step resolution plan she uses to help her clients turn their resolutions into a lifestyle for the new year:

• Believe: "The habit doesn't start on the treadmill or with a closet organizer, it starts in your mind," said Metzger. You not only have to believe that you're capable of starting the task but able to do it consistently.
• Predict: "Think about what obstacles may derail you on your resolution path," she said. "Don't have time to go to the gym before work? Get dressed at the gym to save time. Predict your obstacles so you can prepare solutions."
• Start: "You believe you can, prepared for possible challenges ahead, and now it's time to go," she said. "You don't need company or to wait until Monday. Start now. Release the doubt, ignore the naysayers, and jump all the way in."

Don't be afraid to experiment.

"Another reason why it's smart to avoid tackling overwhelming, unrealistic goals is that taking small, practical steps to improve your life gives you a chance to try something new," said Ian Sanders, a creative consultant and author of 365 Ways To Have a Good Day. "Take an experimental approach. Try things out, see what works, and you might find that you address your New Year's resolutions faster than you ever imagined," said Sanders.

Develop replacement habits.

If your resolution involves creating healthier habits by doing away with undesirable ones (like doom-scrolling or drinking too many sugary drinks), Manly recommends having a healthy new habit ready to take its place. "To keep New Year's resolutions from going by the wayside, it's important to have a new, positive habit—a replacement behavior—ready to fill the place of an unwanted habit," Sanders said.

For example, if your goal is to reduce your consumption of sugary drinks, have plenty of herbal tea, sparkling water, and other non-sugary drinks on hand for a swap-out. The mentality goes from, "I'm not allowed to have X," to "I get to drink X instead." "As the psyche learns that there's a positive replacement in store when an old habit is released, it becomes more receptive to change," Manly said. "When the mind sees that a resolution is not a penalty but a real benefit, the resistant monkey mind is far more cooperative."

Tell people about it.

Whenever setting any kind of goal, there's always the temptation to keep it to yourself—that way, if you don't end up reaching it, no one's any the wiser. But Lagoy recommends that you tell your close friends or family about your resolutions so they can help hold you accountable. And, while you're at it, you can ask them to join you.

"Feel free to include family and friends in your resolution, such as inviting others to go to the gym with you to add an extra layer of accountability," he said. In addition to that, Leaf says that you should offer to listen to their goals as well (if they want to share). "This active communication, as well as encouraging one another, will also help make your goals easier to achieve," she said.

Be specific.

According to Lagoy, resolutions are more attainable when they're concrete rather than vague. For example, if your goal is about wanting to get more exercise, "I will go to the gym at least once a week" or "I will start working with a personal trainer," are smarter resolutions than "I need to get in shape." Getting in shape may be the motivating drive, but the goal or resolution should include how, specifically, you plan to do so.

Focus on gratitude.

"Another key factor that will help you stick to your resolutions is to come at them with gratitude," Leaf said. (Of course, some years that's easier said than done.) She suggests writing down everything that happened in the last year that brought you joy. Think about what happened over the past year and how you got to where you are now.

"Be grateful for this growth," she said. "Focus on the positive and reframe the negative. This will build up your mental resilience by building healthy neural networks in the brain, which will help you better achieve your goals in the future."

Pace yourself.

As you set your resolution(s) for the coming year, Leaf says to practice slowing down: "This allows you to focus on the present moment and work from there." Manly recommends starting out with a specific, achievable main goal—or macro-goal—and supporting it with a few clear, incremental micro-goals. For example, if your goal is to be able to run five miles, start by working your way up to running a half-mile, then one mile, etc., rather than attempting to run five miles the first day.

"This slow, step-wise approach builds self-efficacy, self-esteem, and patience," Manly said. And, according to Leaf, we need to understand that true change takes time. "Once we accept this," she said, "we need to be patient with ourselves and give ourselves grace if we're not quite going at the pace we imagined."

Avoid last year's failed resolution.

If you have the same resolution year after year, and you aren't accomplishing it, then you are doing something wrong. Change up your resolution and don't make it the same as last year's failed one. Goals you've failed at in the past will be hard to fulfill because your confidence in your ability to accomplish them will be low.

If you really do want to try to accomplish a goal you've set but failed at in the past, try modifying it to make it more achievable. For instance, if your goal was to lose 40 pounds, change it to something easier to accomplish. Instead think: I want to lose one pound per week by eating a healthier diet and exercising at least three times per week.

Or something in the same category as last year's failed goal, but different: I want to start eating healthier by incorporating fruits and veggies into seven of my meals per week.

Create a detailed plan of each resolution.

When you have your detailed goal in place, it's time to start planning how exactly you are going to accomplish it. If your goal is: I want to take a 30-minute walk five times per week, consider more of the details around it. When are you going to take that walk every day? In the morning at sunrise? After dinner every weeknight? Where are you going to walk? What are some of the complications you might run into, and how do you plan to work around them? Let's say you have a really busy week, or the weather is bad, how will you overcome those factors to still accomplish your goal? The more you plan in detail, the more likely you'll achieve your resolution.

Celebrate small wins.

Celebrating the mini milestones on the way to your bigger goal is a great way to keep yourself motivated. Let's say your goal is to read 20 books this year. After each book you read, treat yourself to something you enjoy, such as your favorite drink, some delicious take-out, or a cozy night in (or all three?) These little treats along the way will keep you excited to continue taking steps to achieve your resolution.

Use a habit tracking app.

There really is an app for everything, including a plethora to help you achieve your goals. Logging in every time you drink more water, go to the gym, read a book, or write in your journal helps give you that sense of accomplishment (and a little dopamine boost!) which will keep you working towards your resolutions for longer. Habitify, Done, HabitBull, and Strides are all excellent apps to use to stay organized and on track with your personal goals.

Have a short list of resolutions.

There's no way you can pour yourself (with passion) into more than three goals. Keep your list short; think one to three resolutions tops. This way you can focus your energy, instead of spreading yourself thin trying to accomplish a long list of lofty goals (and feeling bad at the year's end when you complete none of them.) What you focus on is where you will grow, but you can't realistically focus on ten things at one time.