On Education - Prof Edit

Dylan Conboy September 10, 2013 HUMW 011 Debelius On Education I walked through the front door, not
t bothering to knock, although by that time I wasnt really expected to; after all, I had broken that habit years ago. My neighbors house across the street as I commonly referred to it was my second home. I spent nearly half of my domestic life there, so we all decided long ago that it made more sense for me to come and go as I pleased rather than to have someone come to the door and greet me multiple times a day. An eighty-foot walk from my front door, the house across the street was a typical Victorian-style home with a hand-built wooden porch on which my neighbors could usually be seen sitting in their rocking chairs reading or smoking away a pack of cigarettes. When I went over that particular day Gene, the man of the house, was at work, but I could tell Penny, his wife, was home by her car sitting in the driveway. Their daughter Danielle, however, was why I passed so much time there. Over the course of ten years we had become best friends, and we always enjoyed the time we spent together. I wasnt at all surprised to find nothing out of the ordinary happening when I went across the street: Danielle in the kitchen making Ramen noodles and Penny watching TV from her usual spot on the couch. Danielle and I talked, we joked and we laughed, we sat at the dining room table to eat, we played on our phones, we gossiped; and all of these mundane, mind-blowingly typical actions seemed to irritate Penny who was still in the other room. She grunted and moaned and turned up the volume, but Danielle and I continued on in spite of these painfully unsubtle cues. Then Penny yelled, Would you two shut up?! I was somewhat taken aback Penny wasnt the most even-tempered person I
knew, yet this was slightly out of character but Danielle responded without hesitation, Chill out! Oh, my God. Penny said nothing, but I could hear her take her frustration out on the blankets and pillows as she struggled to get more comfortable. Shortly thereafter, once she and I had grown bored of sitting at the table, Danielle went up to her room to grab a sweater. She galloped down the stairs, which only further provoked her inexplicably irascible mother. Settle down! Jesus. You settle down! Whats your problem? Danielle retorted. I just want to take a nap! Penny said hysterically. Now, so it seemed, she wasnt so much angry as she was upset. But she wasnt upset either: I couldnt quite put my finger on what was going on. She started to laugh, which made Danielle laugh, and I laughed too, although I didnt know why. Youre a freak, Danielle teased; and like a runner out of the blocks Penny threw off her blankets and charged at her. Im gonna beat you up, she giggled inches from Danielles face. Try. Ill kick your ass, Danielle responded defiantly. She knew Pennys aggression was nothing to be taken seriously, so she played along. But soon enough Penny was chasing Danielle around the living room throwing punches at the air, all the while screaming, laughing, and now crying too. She was delirious, I thought. Maybe it was a menopause-induced hormonal imbalance; maybe she was on drugs I had no idea. I stood in the entryway bewildered, not daring to involve myself for fear of Pennys unpredictability. After a few minutes of this nonsense Penny retired to her seat on the couch and took a few deep breaths. Danielle, equally as exhausted, turned to me and said, Oh, I forgot to tell you: my mom has quit smoking. She hasnt had a cigarette in two days. I come from a family of smokers; my father, his parents, his brother, and his sister all smoke. For months I pressured my uncle in particular to quit smoking but he never
succeeded. For a few weeks he smoked only a few cigarettes per day but eventually he returned to his normal habit of nearly a pack everyday. This was long before Penny tried to quit, and I had no idea why he found it so difficult. It is common knowledge that cigarettes are incredibly addictive, but I assumed that willpower was stronger than the effects of nicotine. Only once I saw the emotional and psychological torment Penny endured did I finally appreciate that eliminating cigarettes from ones life is easier said than done. She couldnt function properly without a regular nicotine fix. Eventually she experienced physical pain from withdrawals, and she caved not long thereafter. That day across the street I realized just how powerful addictions, not simply to cigarettes but in general, are, and how difficult breaking them can be.
Dylan,
Thanks for this glimpse into Pennys addiction. Youre at your best when you get specific, as you do at the outset with the description of your friendship with Danielle. The details of your history together create a very soothing opening, which makes Pennys outburst a surprise. Your write well and use words effectively, so keep up the good storytelling. When you revise, however, work to build the reflective portion of the essay. What is education for you? Is it about addiction? Or learning from people and experience rather than books? And how will your view of education shape your next four years at Georgetown? I look forward to working with you this semester. Thanks, Prof. Debelius

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Dylan Conboy September 10, 2013 HUMW 011 Debelius On Education I walked through the front door, not

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