single!

A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S

k DEC. / 09

Young Christian Woman

Will the Real Fool
Please Stand Up?

What Happens in Vegas

... Is Forever

How Low Can You Go?

(And Still be Modest)

A Reality Check for

When it Sounds
“Too Good to be True”

Merry Christmas on
No Budjet
w w w. o n m y o w n n o w. c o m
 in this
issue...
Straight Talk from the Proverbs:
Will the Real Fool Please Stand Up?
by Donna Lee Schillinger .4
o
Single!
Moving Out ... Settling In:
Young
Christian
.8
What Happens in Vegas is Forever
by Kimberly Miller Woman
a publication of On My
Own Now Ministries
Down Home Healthy Cookin' for One ona Budget: www.onmyownnow.com

.10
Three Square Meals + Some on $5 a day,
The Fin-ally Editor-In-Chief
by Reba Ray donna lee schillinger

o
Dear Gabby:
Early life crisis .14 contributors
paola segnini

.16
Spare Change: kimberly miller
Merry Christmas on No Budget Tamara Jane
by Paola Segnini
Debra Collins
Fashion DIVinA

.18
art director
A Modest Measure
by Tamara Jane and Donna Lee Schillinger daniela bermúdez
Just What You Need

.20
A Reality Check for When it Sounds
“Too Good to be True”
by Donna Lee Schillinger
o We see high
drama in the
movies all the
time, but in
real life, big
Fridge-worthy. acting does not
win awards.

Straight talk from the Proverbs for young Christian women who
want to remain pure, debt-free and regret-free.

“In this interesting and thought-provoking exploration

of the book of Proverbs, Schillinger takes young women
along a journey that will help them to make better, saf-
er, and more sound decisions.”
Cheryl C. Malandrinos
The Book Connection blog

Now Available at www.onmyownnow.com,

at Amazon, B&N and a library and bookstore near you.
 straight talk

Will the
real
fool
p
please
u
stand

b
4
?
by Donna Lee Schillinger
 “ Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a
wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate
you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man
and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add
to his learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. ”
Proverbs 9: 7-9
Kimberly Miller’s business trip, and resulting opportu- were destroying her country. Instead, she was raging
nity to witness to her coworker (see “What Happens in against the very things that had provided the privileged
Vegas…” on p. 6), is a good reminder that how we share life she took for granted.
the wisdom of the ages is as important – if not more
important – than sharing it at all. If we leave a nega- One day in Wal-Mart, she started testing me or perhaps
tive impression in our attempt to share Christ, we have she was teasing me. At the time, I thought she was sin-
done more damage than good. And I’m sad to say that cere, but I realized with some reflection, she was simply
many a zealous Christian has erred in this manner – doing what a rebellious teen does for fun. She picked up
myself included – read on. a magazine and announced that she wanted to die her

p
hair red like the actress pictured on the cover. This was
As we begin to hear wisdom’s voice and submit our- one of those unnatural reds for hair, like the color of
selves to it and we feel ourselves gaining wisdom, we blood. I told her I wouldn’t allow it while she was with
want to share this with others. Our new insights are me. My reason was simple – I didn’t want my nine-
truly exciting and our soul wells to overflowing. We year-old daughter, who admired our exchange student,
have a pure desire for others to understand what we to tuck a memo away in her mind, “Die hair blood red
understand. This is all good, but as we read in the at age 17.” I should have just said that and left it alone.
above scripture, we must be selective about when and But I couldn’t help myself. I saw an opportunity to try
with whom we decide to share our newfound insights to enlighten this young rebel – to share some wisdom.
about life.
A discussion about stereotypes and the importance of
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom – the other people’s opinions ensued and crescendoed into
beginning of wisdom – meaning we’ve just left start on a heated and loud exchange in Spanish in the checkout
the game board of life. To underscore this point God line at Wal-Mart. If indeed this exchange was between
may put a fool or mocker in our path. If ever someone a wise woman and a fool, an onlooker would have had
needed to know and understand what we know and un- great difficulty figuring out who was which – we both
derstand, it is that poor fool, right? looked like fools.

“What’s this? The fool and mocker is asking my opin- Fools and mockers are very useful for humbling those
ion? An opening? An opportunity to share with her? who are wise in their own eyes. Resist the temptation
Thank you, Lord.” to share your wisdom with just anyone. Someone truly
eager to learn will be in an open, opinion-neutral zone,
Careful. This is not what you think. This is a learning not staunchly held up in the tower of a particular view-
opportunity, for sure, but it’s for you, not the fool. point. When you sense in the listener a humble willing-
I hosted a foreign exchange student from South Ameri- ness to learn, your few, carefully chosen words will be
ca who was raised in a very privileged lifestyle, devoutly welcomed and effective.
Catholic and sheltered from the social ills that abound
in her country. Despite all her good fortune, she re-
belled against the good things in her life - clashing with
her mother, the church and the norms of society in gen-
eral. How I wished she would have turned that passion
Hold this thought:
against the corruption, poverty and illegal drugs that It’s foolish to argue with a fool.

5
w moving out ... settling in

W H A T
happens

VEGAS
IN

i l ler
ly M
IS FOREVER Kimb
er
by

I’m pleased to announce

that I have reached a
new level of grown-up-
edness! A couple weeks
ago, my boss informed
me that I was to travel
out of state on a bona fide
business trip. I’ll admit I
was a little nervous, only
because I had no idea
what to expect. Any no-
tion I had of what a busi-
ness trip is supposed to
be like comes from tele-
vision.
6
 w
e I was to travel with a co-worker,
Laura, to the company headquarters
and main business offices to find out
I negotiated more modest choices of
meals with Laura, I simultaneously
felt irritated about paying for ame-
to eat, and she thinks I should be
more patient. I like to stick to the
schedule in the book, and she likes
e
r what happens on the “other side”
of the business. I was very excited
nities that I already pay for at home.
Honestly, I wanted to stick it to the
to play it more flexible. She likes to
stay up really late; I like to be in bed r
q about the trip in general and the op-
portunity to finally meet some peo-
ple I have worked with for a year and
company at dinner, but I knew that
wouldn’t be right. Little injustices –
that’s how it works in real life. Oh
early. She likes to talk to everybody
she meets, and I’m a little snobby
and kind of shy around new people
q
w a half without actually meeting in
person. I would now get to see them
well. – and the list goes on. We were both
relieved to learn that we at least like w
e in their element and have a face to
put to our future interaction. Cool.
There was a lot more in store than
Business trips are fun, but
stressful too. They mean
the same kind of music in the car!
Business trips are fun, but stress-
ful too. They mean getting to know
e
r that though. I found myself in one getting to know cowork- coworkers better than I ever even r
after another ethical dilemma and
ers better than I ever even wanted to. Traveling with Laura
q having to make difficult “grown-up”
decisions. wanted to.
was a lot like working with her every
day – times ten in intensity! Busi-
ness travel is a chance to learn how
q
w My traveling companion, though
a lovely person, is not a Christian. Fortunately, Laura and I were not
to get along with people, appreci-
ate differences and live our convic- w
e She does not share my values or be-
liefs, and thus does not always op-
erate with the same integrity that I
so different in our nightlife choices.
Drinking and gambling – all from
the convenience of our hotel – were
tions. Laura didn’t have the same
Christian values. So the question
is: What’s the best way to expose
e
r r try to live by. Don’t get me wrong:
I admire her very much and have a
not a temptation for either of us.
However, that is an eventuality I
her to mine? My goal should be to
show her a Christlike lifestyle, not to r
q great respect for other aspects of her
character; she just lives life more
liberally than I am accustomed to.
need to mentally prepare myself for
in future trips – especially to casino
hotels. Having a ready-made reason
shove it down her throat – witness-
ing, not Bible-thumping. I may have
annoyed her a little with my prudent
q
w For example, one issue we came at
differently was tracking our time.
to stay in the room rather than waste
my time and money on things that
behavior (which she might have
thought prudish instead), and yet w
e Where I would rather fudge the clock
in favor of the company, she would
rather fudge it in favor of getting
paid more. I could enter my own
could lead to no good is advisable.
I could have a book 2/3 of the way
read – something I really want to
I didn’t think it prudent to tell her
that I wish she would choose more
lady-like language. It’s about know- e
r time however I deem correct, but if
someone were to compare our time
get back to finish. Or I could sched-
ule a phone call with a good friend I
ing which battles to fight, so that we
can live with integrity, without judg- r
q cards, the obvious question would
be, “Why don’t they match?” How
could I answer that without throw-
haven’t talked to in a long time. “Aw,
sorry, guys. I told this friend that
tonight we could catch up on the
ing or patronizing others – the kind
of thing Jesus did as he dined with
a tax collectors and defended the q
w ing her under the bus? And is that
even where she deserves to be? She
phone and I just can’t ditch that be-
cause it’s been four months since we
last spoke.” It needs to be something
prostitute. Love as He loved, and be
perfect as He is perfect. Even in Ve-
gas.
w
e was just doing what almost anyone
would do, and it wasn’t really even
wrong. It just wasn’t as right as it
that not only will work as an excuse
to get back to the room after dinner,
but also something that motivates What's the best way to
e
r could have been. In the end, I nego-
tiated a compromise with her, hope-
me – because peer pressure to party
will surely be more tempting than I expose her to my Christian r
q fully without making her feel like I
was judging her – a tricky balance.
anticipate.
Finally, and surprisingly, the most
values? My goal should be to
show her a Christlike life- q
w We stayed in a very nice casino ho-
tel on the company, of course, and
ate all our meals on the company.
difficult thing to manage on the
business trip is basic personality dif- style, not to shove it down
her throat - witnessing, not
w
e Whereas I didn’t feel right eating the
most expensive meals I could find
just because the company was buy-
ferences – and we had them! Laura
gets really stressed out while driving
and yells at traffic for what seems
to me to be pretty insignificant of-
Bible-thumping. e
r ing, I did wonder why I had to pay
for the hotel fitness center and Inter-
fenses. I get really stressed out when r
q net access out of my pocket. So while
all the restaurants that the GPS finds
for us are closed and there’s no place
q7
w
o Reba Ray´s down home healthy cookin’ for one on a budget
Just like before, I’m gonna

Three
give you four day’s worth
of menu and shopping list,

by Reba Ray
as well as the shopping list
for a starter kit of ingredi-
ents that’ll last you for at
least three months, in most
cases. Now I know $55 for

Square
a starter kit sounds a little
outrageous, but it will aver-
age out to be less than a dol-
lar a day because of how long
the ingredients last. Add it to

MealS
the $4-a-day menu and yur
eatin’ for $5 a day.

Some things on this menu

are made with items left-
over from previous four-day

SomE
shopping lists. If you are
seeing this for the first time,
what ya really otta do is go
back to the first four-day
menu and start there. Then
follow links to the second
and third menus until you
work yur way back to this

on $ 5 a Day
one. But if yur hard-headed,
go ahead and start with the
last part (you wouldn’t read a
book that way though, would
ya?).

Now, let’s review the ground

rules.

1. Shop smart. No fancy

schmancy markets – you
In the September, October and November need a Kroger or a Wal-mart
or some other low-priced
09 issues of Single! Young Christian Wom- store and even then, you
need to buy the store brand
an, I gave you three of four parts of a 16-day when you can to make this
work. I don’t list a size on
program I’ve worked out so that you can eat these products, so just get as
large a container as you can
healthy on $5 a day. This here is the last part. without going over the al-
lotted price. For the spices,
if you have a Wal-Mart Su-
perstore, look for their large

the
spice bottles for $.50 each

fin-ally ★
instead of paying for name
brands. If not, go to the local
★
8
dollar store to buy yur spices. And a disclaimer: prices vary
so much from store to store and then when you take into
account different regions of the country, well, this iddn’t no
$55 starter kit
exact science. I’m ballparkin’ figures here and I believe you
can get mighty close to the total amount regardless of where
you live, as long as you shop smart. Salt $2
Pepper $1
And if yur just feeding Ginger $2
yurself, well, you've got to Cinnamon
Basil
$1
$1
have a little repetition to Oregano $1
Cumin $1
use all the food that was in Brown sugar $2
the package. Again, budget Molasses
Baking powder
$2
$2.50
food does not usually come Baking soda $1
Whole wheat flour $3
in single servings. Vanilla $2
Mayonnaise $2
Pesto $3
2. Surely you notice a little repetition in these menus and
that there aren’t too many fancy foods on them. Newsflash: Bullion Cubes
You can’t eat fancy foods on $5 a day. And if yur just feeding (chicken and beef) $2 each
yurself, well, you’ve got to have a little repetition to use all Lemon juice $2
the food that was in the package. Again, budget food does not
usually come in single servings. Jalapeno peppers $2
Olive oil $5
3. As always, I’m learnin’ ya how to cook healthy. Give it a try
– I just know you can learn to love what’s good for ya. Balsamic vinegar $3
Soy sauce $3
Worcestershire sauce $2
Apple cider vinegar $1
Canola Oil $3
Cooking spray $3
BBQ sauce $1

If there is any money left over, buy:

Parmesan cheese $2.50
Box of crackers $2.50

9
o Reba Ray´s down home healthy cookin’ for one on a budget
Day 13
BREAKFAST: French Toast
lunch: Fetuccini w/pesto and fresh tomato (4 oz. beef patty on bre
snack: Raisins
dinner: Chicken with potatoes and carrots
desert: Peanut Butter Cookies (use a favorite recipe, subbin’ in brown for white sugar and whole
wheat for white flour to make it healthier)

Day 14
BREAKFAST: Cereal
lunch: Left over Chicken sandwich with cheddar cheese
snack: Seasonal Fruit
dinner: Lentil stew (potatoes and carrots)
desert: Peanut butter

Day 15
BREAKFAST: Oatmeal w/ raisins
lunch: BBQ wings (or other chicken) and homemade French Fries
snack: Seasonal Fruit
dinner: Chicken Florentine fettuccini
desert: Peanut Butter Cookies

Day 16
BREAKFAST: Eggs and toast
lunch: Lentil stew leftover
snack: Cheddar Cheese
dinner: Leftover chicken with potatoes (mashed or fried)
desert: Seasonal Fruit crepe
10
 Left overs
Recipettes from list # 1, 2 & 3
Peanut butter
Cereal
8oz. Cheddar
Cheese Block
Chicken Florentine Fettuccini: Raisins Syrup
Eggs Fresh Garlic
Place ½ cup chopped, leftover chicken and Bread
one pressed clove of garlic in a teaspoon of
olive oil and sauté in a small skillet over me-
dium heat until chicken is heated through.
Shopping List #4
Add thawed, dry spinach and sprinkle with Milk $2
salt, pepper, basil and oregano. Cook fet- Whole chicken $4
tuccini according to package directions. Potatoes $3
Top fettuccini with chicken/spinach mix- Carrots $1
ture and sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Seasonal fruit
Seasonal Fruit Crepe: (strawberries, grapes, tangerines,
pears, peaches) $2
Chop ½ cup of seasonal fruit into small Lentils $.75
cubes, removing seeds and peels as need- Apple sauce $1
ed. In a small saucepan, bring to boil with Fettuccini $1.50
one tablespoon brown sugar and 2 table- Tomato $.50
spoons water. Simmer over low heat for Spinach $.50
five minutes or until it forms a compote. In
a medium bowl, mix together 1/2 cup all-
purpose flour, 1 egg, ¼ cup milk, 1 table-
spoon canola oil, ¼ cup water and a dash
of salt. Over medium heat, pour a ¼-cup
scoop of batter into a lightly oiled nonstick
skillet in good condition, tilting the skil-
let like the Alpine ride at the carnival so
the batter goes all over the pan. Cook for
about two minutes and ever-so-carefully
flip it over and cook a minute more on the
other side. Slide off on to a plate, spoon in
a few tablespoons of fruit filling and roll it
up, seam side down. Repeat until the bat-
ter’s all gone. Drizzle a little syrup or mo-
lasses over the crepes.

11
 Dear Gabby

s ter
Gab
by

dear gabby:
I think I might be having an early life crisis. I’m in grad school
but wondering if I’m just here to avoid doing something bet-
ter with my life. I had some choices to do hard things after
college and I chose grad school instead—which isn’t easy by
any means, but I fear may have been the safe choice. I have
a propensity toward laziness and I’m afraid of it taking over
my life. There are mornings I really don’t even want to get
out of bed—literally. Before you say “prayer is the answer,”
you should know I’ve tried that and it has helped. Basically, it´s
led me to a realization of some of my character flaws. But
now what?

- Languid in Lancaster

Living a conundrum? Trying to make two wrongs a right?

Threw the baby out with the bath water?
Dear Gabby can help! Send your questions now to
[email protected]
12
 “After the death of Moses, the servant of the Lord, the Lord said
to Joshua, son of Nun, Moses’ aide: Moses is dead. Now then, you
and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the
land I am about to give to them—the Israelites. No one will be able
to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Mo-
ses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Dear Languid,
If you’re reading this, it means you’re awake – which However, whether it’s taking possession of the Prom-
is a great start! Gabby suspects that unless you’re pay- ised Land or taking the bull by the horns in the 21st
ing your way through school with a rush- hour rick- century, we fear great possibilities when we leave God
shaw business, your exhaustive need to rest probably out of our decisions.
comes from a lack of joy and enthusiasm for what you
are doing. End result: depression. Now Gabby isn’t Permit me one more parallel with the Promised Land
saying you’re walking around with a black cloud over thing: Remember when the Israelites had the chance
your head, but it is known that excessive fatigue and to possess the Promised Land but they were too chick-
sleep can be good indicators of some level of depres- en to do it? Moses had sent in 12 men to spy the lay
sion. of the land. All but two came back with their tails be-
tween their legs, whining about how big the people
So then… why so blue? Well, Gabby suspects that all were. God’s response to their cowardice was to send
those qualifiers you use to describe your status like them wandering in the desert for 40 years before He
“may have been a safe choice,” or “wondering if I’m would give them another chance to possess the land.
here to avoid something else,” sound pretty much like Hard question: Is it possible that grad school is your
you know the answers already. The real problem isn’t “time in the desert”?
the “did I sell out?” in your scenario, but the “now
what?” of your epiphany. Gabby would love to know Don’t despair, even if you conclude it is. God provides
what the hard things were that you turned down for manna from heaven for people in the desert. Perhaps
grad school. We are such a purpose-driven species. this time is meant to better prepare you to do those
And a life without a purpose to challenge us can look “hard things” later, once you’ve finished grad school.
pretty dull – a stay-in-bed-and-pull-the-covers-over- Maybe it’s a time to do some emotional growing? Your
my-head kind of dull. Gabby is pretty sure that your praying has brought you some priceless insights. Most
biggest problem is that you are a creature that needs people never slow down long enough to even consider
and wants to make a difference and you’re fearful that they have character flaws, let alone ponder how to
the path you’re on may be too self-serving. If that’s the surmount them! I know, you don’t think I need to say
case, then don’t let it be! “pray!” But how about “keep praying.” It’s essential in
your quest to know how to move forward.
Are you familiar with the context of the scripture
above? Moses, all-time biggest hero of Israel dies, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “Faith is taking
leaving his sidekick Joshua in charge. Joshua has the first step, even when you don’t see the whole stair-
been proved himself on the battlefield, but it seems to case.” So Languid, throw back those covers, swing
me that he must actually be a real fraidy-cat. Why else your feet out and, yes… pray! And continue praying
would God have to say to him as many times as He with every step. God will not forsake you! Work hard
did in the first chapter of Joshua: “Don’t be afraid!” on that degree and finish what you started. Even time
It was no small task he had before him though. Mo- in the desert has a purpose. Just stay plugged in to the
ses left some gargantuan shoes to fill – and not only source of manna with every shuffling step…
that – Joshua’s job was to lead the nation of Israel to
the Promised Land, which meant war. So, yea, I guess - Gabster
even a really brave person would have reason to fear
in that circumstance.

13
K Spare Change

a
merry
christmas
(on no budget)

by Paola Segnini
14
 K
I’ve always been a fan of giving I realize pictures from old maga-
zines and leftover Halloween candy
I’m not a huge fan of cook-
ing. I don’t hate it; I just don’t do
gifts. I remember when I was a is probably not what you have in it… like ever! I always say my Mr.
little girl and had zero cash, I used mind for a Christmas gift, but if you Right will have to know how to
to come up with gifts for my fam- think about it, it actually applies cook to win me over. This is no se-
ily all the time, and of course, they perfectly. As a kid, I was using what cret about me. So, imagine how my
didn’t cost a dime. Anything was a I had on hand in tandem with my friends and family would feel if I
potential gift: I’d pick flowers from abilities to make someone I loved actually decided to cook for them.
my grandma’s garden or a nearby smile. The concept for us today is If a friend of mine came over and I
park, I’d collect shells when I was at the same. How can we make some- surprised her with a home-cooked
the beach and save them for special one smile with what we have on meal, I bet she’d be both surprised
occasions, I’d draw pictures, write hand, or by just using our abilities? and excited. I wouldn’t even need
stories, cut nice images from maga- to cook something fancy – just any-
zines… I even saved a piece of candy If your mom absolutely hates doing thing from my pantry. Exploit that
or two so I could give to my friends dishes, how about giving her a “Get kind of thing. For me, it’s cooking,
at school. out of the Kitchen Free” card and do for you it may be sewing or garden-
them for her after Christmas din- ing. We all have things we know
Fast forward to 2009 and those ner? If your boyfriend can’t stand
childhood ideas aren’t looking as how to do pretty well but we just
ironing, give him a “fresh-pressed choose not to, or avoid doing them.
childish in this economy! This year load of laundry” for a gift. If you
has been tough on everyone, re- Surprise someone with your hidden
put your mind to it, you can think of ability!
flected by the number of petitions something you are perfectly capable
I’ve received to write a column of doing that your friends and fam-
about how to have a Merry Christ- ily hate, and offer to do it for them.
mas when you’re strapped for cash.

If you still want to go the traditional way and purchase a present, here
are some really good ideas for gifts under $10 that maybe could supple-
ment a hand-made coupon for a special act of kindness.
1. Gourmet coffees with a per- 11. Decorative napkins w/ rings 22. Specialty cookbook
sonal coffee cup 12. Fancy chocolate bars tied 23. Set of dish towels and cloths
2. Journal with special inscription with a ribbon 24. Nail polish kit
inside 13. Gardening gloves with a plant 25. A night shirt
3. Teacup with box of herbal tea or f lower seeds 26. Basket filled with kitchen
4. Homemade cocoa mix (layers 14. Photo album, hand-decorated gadgets
of cocoa, sugar, marshmallows is even better 27. Handwritten copies of your
and maybe chocolate chips) in a 15. Makeup tote favorite recipes
pretty jar 16. Homemade cookie mix in a 28. For the pets, gourmet dog
5. Collage of special photos quart jar with instructions for biscuits or cat treats
6. Gel pens and pretty stationery baking 29. Baking pans and supplies
7. Home baked bread, and include 17. Special coffee cup filled with 30. Pretty box for keepsakes
the recipe on a colorful, lami- candy 31. Address book
nated card 18. Fancy magazines tied togeth- 32. Christmas ornaments
8. Basket filled with an assort- er with a pretty ribbon 33. Favorite quote embroidered or
ment of small chunks of deli 19. Board games pen-painted on a nice handker-
cheese and fruit 20. Note cards and book of chief
9. Craft supplies stamps 34. Makeup brush set
10. Holiday serving bowl or plat- 21. Picture frames, buy them on 35. Special soaps and bath puff
ter sale!
15
 Fashi on DIVinA

A
modest
measur
Summer’s over and the pressure (both
societal and barometric) to dress scantily
are gone for a season. But our concern for
5
modesty should be perennial. Modesty is

by Tamara Jane and Donna Lee Schillinger

a concept born out of a few key scriptures
such as I Timothy 2:9, “I also want women
to dress modestly, with decency and pro- 4
priety.” If we value God’s word, we have to
value modesty. It’s just that simple.
But why does this matter to God? After all,
He made us without concern for modesty
– Eve ran around buck naked in the Gar- 3
den of Eden. Paradise lost… No use cry-
ing over it. Fast forward to our reality and
the fact of the matter is that our clothes
say a lot about us. They reflect how we
were raised and the condition of our heart
and thoughts, not to mention our fashion
2
sense. And they reflect how important the
value of modesty is to us.
Here’s a quick test (in case you haven’t had
your share of final exams) to help evaluate 1
your personal position on modesty.

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 1. What do my clothes say 2. When I dress I… 3. My clothes reflect
about my heart? a) want to be comfortable and ________ values.
a) I’m modest on the inside and look good, but not sexy. a) Biblical
out. b) opt for something fashionable b) greater societal
b) Not much – they are heart- without regard to much else. c) fringe
neutral. c) secretly want to cause a traffic
c) I just want somebody, any- accident as I cross the street.
body to pay attention to me.

4. The way I dress, no one 5. When I think what I’m

re
could ever guess… wearing might be too immodest,
a) the location of my birthmark. I…
b) that I don’t spend a lot of a) put the outfit on hold until I
clothes. can ask the opinion of someone I
c) that I’m a Christian. respect.
b) ask my boyfriend what he
thinks.
c) shrug my shoulders, make
kissy-lips at myself in the mirror
and head out the door anyway.

Give yourself 2 points for each “a,” 1 point for each “b” and zip/zilch/
nada for each “c.” A score of 7 or greater indicates that modesty is a max
factor. Good for you. 4 to 6 points indicates modesty is on your radar,
but takes a back seat to fashion. Below 4 points, you don’t see the con-
nection between godly living and your wardrobe.

When we lived at home, Mom and Dad may have had it all to Goodwill just yet. Layering is a great technique
some tempering influence on our choice of clothes, but to mitigate immodest clothes. Spend $10 on some ge-
now that we’re on our own? Who will be our “Mirror, neric tights and camisoles to wear underneath and in-
Mirror on the wall”? There are our friends – but don’t vest in one superfly jacket to top tops. The jacket can
they need some help of their own? When you need an turn half your summer wardrobe in to all-season wear
honest answer to “Does this make me look sleazy?” a too by being instant sleeves for anything sleeveless.
godly adult can be invaluable. Seek out a godly woman Layer longer shirts under or over shorter shirts to keep
whose fashion sense you admire and bounce your outfit that rear end from rearing it’s ugly… (ehem!). And add
options off her every once in a while to keep your mod- a big, bold scarf to low cut shirts – and enjoy a warm
esty meter well-calibrated. neck this winter.
Also, consult Web sites that specialize in modest cloth-
ing. Even if you don’t buy online, you can get some There are plenty of ways to be modest and fashionable
ideas of how today’s styles can be modestly sported. My at the same time. The first step to making it happen is
daily asking yourself, “Is this an outfit that is pleasing
picks are TailoredLilly.com and ModestlySassy.com. to God? Will it glorify the body that He’s given me?”
If your score on the modesty test was embarrassingly It’s a two-question test that I pray you’ll score well on
low, you might be feeling like your wardrobe is beyond every day.
salvaging – shirts cut too low, dresses and skirts cut too
short, jeans look like they’re painted on... Don’t donate

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l Just
What
Need
!
You by Donna Lee Schillinger

A Reality Check for When It Sounds

Too Good to Be True
OK, you’re a smart girl and you don’t actually believe for subject you’re concerned about and then read recent re-
one second that you’ve won the lottery in Nigeria. Good ports filed. Almost 12,000 reports have been filed and so
for you. But have you ever fallen for one of these? Laptop odds are good of finding info on the scam that’s tempt-
computers $249! Make $2,500 a week from home! Lose ing you. You can also search by name of company. If you
10 pounds in 10 days! Turn Yellow Teeth to White for Un- just want to search by keyword, use the search bar in the
der $5. All these “offers” have two things in common. 1. top right corner of the page. Consumer Reports.org is an-
They sound too good to be true. 2. They are too good to other trusted source of information on product-related
be true. It’s not that we’re naïve or anything, it’s just that quandaries. Although their best info is for paid subscrib-
we want to believe so desperately that these offers might ers only, use the search bar to get the low-down on lip
be true. And so we will waste our time on them. Despite plumpers and verify whether or not Oprah and Dr. Oz
that little voice in our heads that says “this is probably a really stand behind acai berry products. They have thou-
scam,” we go the distance and attend that weekend elec- sands of articles that address most of the too-good-to-be-
tronics sale, send away for that information kit or even true products on the market today.
order some product. Hopefully, that’s as far as it goes.
But something tells me there are some of us that go even Fight Identity Theft.org has a good page with overviews
further – spending even more of our two most precious of many popular scams, including those Nigerian lottery
commodities, time and money, to learn in the end that scams and some work from home scams. Also, look for
there’s no cheap laptop, easy way to get rich from home the link on the left to remove yourself from the telemar-
or fast way to lose weight. And then come the regret and keting call list.
self-berating for having been so naïve! One specialty scam avoidance Web site worth mention-
Let’s not go there – don’t be someone who fell for a scam. ing: www.modelingscams.org details how to avoid be-
You know about Snopes.com, don’t you? When we get coming the victim of modeling scams.
an e-mail forwarded to us that we think is pretty incred- Even a thorough perusal of the above-mentioned sites
ible – that is, literally hard to believe – before we risk our might still leave you with some questions, and if so, I rec-
credibility and forward it to all of our friends, we take a ommend talking to a wise old owl – some savvy middle-
couple of minutes to log on to Snopes.com, search some aged person who has been there/done that, versus, doing
key words, and find out if it’s legit. a Google search on “scams.” In researching this article, I
It’s the same concept, except a lot more is at stake than learned that very many of the same-self Web sites that are
your e-mail forwarding credibility. Save yourself time supposed to be informing the consumer against scams
and money before you fall for something that sounds too have ads in their margins for scam products like teeth
good to be true by checking it out – much the same way whiteners and distance learning – earn your degree while
you do on Snopes, at the Ripoff Report.com. I’m linking you’re in the shower – that sort of thing. So just stick to
you to the advanced search page where you can select the the sites I’ve listed, ask a savvy friend, or at very least, e-
mail Dear Gabby and she’ll set you straight.

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