Heiligenstadt Testament

Heiligenstadt Testament
Testament
despair, but
little more and I would have put an end to my life - only
art it was that withheld me, ah it seemed impossible to
leave the world
For my brothers Carl and [Johann] Beethoven
O you men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn or misanthropic, how greatly do you wrong me, you until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce, and so I endured this wretched existence - truly
do not know the secret
wretched, an
causes of my seeming, from childhood my heart and mind
were disposed to the gentle feelings of good will, I was excitable body which a sudden change can throw from the
best into the worst state - Patience - it is said that I must
even ever eager to
now choose
accomplish great deeds, but reect now that for six years I
have been a hopeless case, aggravated by senseless physi- for my guide, I have done so, I hope my determination
will remain rm to endure until it please the inexorable
cians, cheated
parcae to break the
year after year in the hope of improvement, nally compelled to face the prospect of a lasting malady (whose cure thread, perhaps I shall get better, perhaps not, I am prepared. Forced already in my 28th year to become a
will take years
philosopher, O it is not
or, perhaps, be impossible), born with an ardent and lively
temperament, even susceptible to the diversions of soci- easy, less easy for the artist than for anyone else - Divine
One thou lookest into my inmost soul, thou knowest it,
ety, I was
thou knowest
compelled early to isolate myself, to live in loneliness,
when I at times tried to forget all this, O how harshly was that love of man and desire to do good live therein. O
men, when some day you read these words, reect that
I repulsed by
you did me wrong and
the doubly sad experience of my bad hearing, and yet it
was impossible for me to say to men speak louder, shout, let the unfortunate one comfort himself and nd one of
his kind who despite all obstacles of nature yet did all that
for I am deaf. Ah
was in his
how could I possibly admit such an inrmity in the one
sense which should have been more perfect in me than in power to be accepted among worthy artists and men. You
my brothers Carl and [Johann] as soon as I am dead if Dr.
others, a sense
Schmid is still
which I once possessed in highest perfection, a perfection
such as few surely in my profession enjoy or have enjoyed alive ask him in my name to describe my malady and attach this document to the history of my illness so that so
- O I cannot
far as possible at
do it, therefore forgive me when you see me draw back
when I would gladly mingle with you, my misfortune is least the world may become reconciled with me after my
death. At the same time I declare you two to be the heirs
doubly painful because
to my small
it must lead to my being misunderstood, for me there can
be no recreations in society of my fellows, rened inter- fortune (if so it can be called), divide it fairly, bear with
and help each other, what injury you have done me you
course, mutual
know was long
exchange of thought, only just as little as the greatest
needs command disposition, although I sometimes ran ago forgiven. To you brother Carl I give special thanks for
the attachment you have displayed towards me of late. It
counter to it yielding
is my wish
to my inclination for society, but what a humiliation when
one stood beside me and heard a ute in the distance and that your lives be better and freer from care than I have
had, recommend virtue to your children, it alone can give
I heard
happiness, not
nothing, or someone heard the shepherd singing and again
I heard nothing, such incidents brought me to the verge of money, I speak from experience, it was virtue that upheld
1
ADDENDUM
me in misery, to it next to my art I owe the fact that I did

not end my
life with suicide. - Farewell and love each other - I thank
all my friends, particularly Prince Lichnowsky and Professor Schmid - I
This work was published before January 1, 1923, and is
desire that the instruments from Prince L. be preserved in the public domain worldwide because the author died
by one of you but let no quarrel result from this, so soon at least 100 years ago.
as they can
Translation:
serve you better purpose sell them, how glad will I be if I
can still be helpful to you in my grave - with joy I hasten
towards
death - if it comes before I shall have had an opportunity
to show all my artistic capacities it will still come too early This work is in the public domain in the United States
because it was published before January 1, 1923. It
for me
may be copyrighted outside the U.S. (see Help:Public dodespite my hard fate and I shall probably wish it had come
main).
later - but even then I am satised, will it not free me from
my state
of endless suering? Come when thou will I shall meet
thee bravely. - Farewell and do not wholly forget me when
<div class="noprint style=clear:both;">
I am dead, I
deserve this of you in having often in life thought of you
how to make you happy, be so Heiligenstadt
October 6,1802 Ludwig van Beethoven
For my brothers Carl and [Johann]
to be read and executed after my death.
Addendum
Heiligenstadt, October 10, 1802, thus do I take my

farewell of thee - and indeed sadly - yes that beloved hope
- which I brought
with me when I came here to be cured at least in a degree
- I must wholly abandon, as the leaves of autumn fall and
are withered so
hope has been blighted, almost as I came - I go away even the high courage - which often inspired me in the
beautiful days of
summer - has disappeared - O Providence - grant me at
least but one day of pure joy - it is so long since real joy
echoed in my
heart - O when - O when, O Divine One - shall I nd it
again in the temple of nature and of men - Never? no - O
that would be too
hard.
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Heiligenstadt Testament

For my brothers Carl and [Johann] Beethoven

me in misery, to it next to my art I owe the fact that I did

Heiligenstadt, October 10, 1802, thus do I take my

Text and image sources, contributors, and licenses

Heiligenstadt Testament Source: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Heiligenstadt_Testament?oldid=4340651 Contributors:

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