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How To Make Your Husband Happy
How To Make Your Husband Happy
To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam in
building families, the Muslim Students' Association at the University of Alberta
prepared a extremely summarized translation for two books. The books are
Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, who
graduated from the Islamic University of AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi
Arabia. The two books are:
1- How to make your wife happy
2- How to make your husband happy
These books exceed the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the
'Adab (good manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The
following summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what
could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported
by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but
evidences are omitted in this translation. The following is the translation of
the SECOND book.
This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free to repost
it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any changes,
additions, or omissions without permission.
1. Beautiful Reception. After returning from work, school, travel, or
whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting
o
o
Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested
Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.
Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or
bad smells
Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape
Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes
However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course,
only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.
4. Intercourse
o
o
Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning
yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and
encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel,
weekends, etc.
You should not consider this world as your hope and interest
You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things
Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible
(Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and
utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).
7. Appreciation
o
o
By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women
because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and
will do his best to please you in more ways
9. Compliance to Him
o
o
Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab
Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place
You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his
parents
You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives
Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to
sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them,
support them in calamities, etc.
Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept
within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others,
disrespecting them, etc.
You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.
Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and
voluntary worships.* Encourage him to pray at night.
Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband.
Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women.
Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for
Da'wah.
Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and
children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT.
Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission
unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their
nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them
the stories of the Prophets and companions.
Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed,
for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi.
Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our
errors.
[Domestic Violence] [Mainpage] [What's New?]
o
o
Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands
Call her nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha,
etc
o
o
o
o
o
o
7. Visiting Others
Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward
in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits
Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with
Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence
Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc.
9. Financial Support
o
o
11. Intercourse
o
o
Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus)
Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and
modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do
it first while you are looking on
Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting
pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy
o
o
Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiam-ul-Layl" (extra
prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua)
Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer
Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity
sale
Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in
this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving
what she used to give in her life to her friends and
family.
15. (Islamic) Training & Admonition. This includes:
o
o
1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her
speech by meanings that she did not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.
4- etc.
He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her
face or on sensitive parts of her body
Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake
Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as
maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment
to Islam is growing
Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH
never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if
he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment
Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are
more subtle than direct accusations
Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings
Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on
your words.
Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed,
for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi.
Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our
errors.
[Domestic Violence] [Mainpage] [What's New?]