@gk2epn (With A Stopover at London) Ch26
@gk2epn (With A Stopover at London) Ch26
.@ midnight n noon
In ludo life we had landed here after getting I-can't-get-along -with my- in-laws cause they are
mad greedy n despotic n out to kill me card.
It never worked, it wasnt supposed to, cause it takes two to tango and kanjar had come with an
intention of building grounds for divorce.he was already seeing someone an this partly
paid by me house was also his part time love nest..hmm
Obviously I was the patsy who paid for the setup furnished it and managed the upkeepsure he
paid rent but you can bet your boots he was recovering it from her
An amazing darkness gathered, the kind I had not seen before.the kind that hurts you in , in a
non physical way, in places you never know existed. The serene residency vanished an all I saw
was a morose dead pan expression similar to a druggie, day in day outwhen I saw it which
was rareI was alone..for most part
You know how relationships are you call out of concern, to fight,, sometimes to coordinate
meetings, wish relationship events birthdays, anniversary, health etc.here there was
silenceabsolute silence.i felt I was in solitary confinement..every time I tried to talk with
anyone in his presence, he would make his displeasure known.to his friends I was always out
of towneven when I was in it..seriously that should have rang the warning bells but it
didn't.it was a love marriage,I d known him for ages.n there are simply no cases of
infidelity in my family.naive as it may seem.i never thought of it
Oh the lethargy of it ..I felt deadit was a task to get up in morning..n effort to do even
the essentials of keeping house..the only things that kept me sane was my work .which I
lovedsome amazing memories of good times with my parents n siblingprayers..n tea
(Tea helps me think.i think its the caffeine initditto for coffee when I am out..an
unlike its intended impact it relaxes me.My mind is hyper active n by nature I am a very lazy
person..which creates for some interesting contrasts with my mind pushing me to work an rest
of me just taking it easy as though on a vacation .so the middle ground is tea which calms my
mind n kicks me to actI am natural for a desk job.as I pretty much think all the
time.its comes as naturally as breathing )
Ah family.the thing about good memories in your childhood is like a 3D thing..you
enjoy when you are there, you enjoy when you relive those times as memories AND they act as
a strength giver in times of sadness n loss..you can literally derive strength from them..a
big thank-you to my family for providing a treasure trove of armour against cynicism n
selfishness of life sometimes..
To this day I can never imagine that place in colourhey it's a decent layout aesthetic building
central location with mandatory greens bits, that jack up the price even further..to me the
2
visual there is always in black n white..with loads of grey..there were simply no good
times..even by trending I should have smelt a rat.but all I smelt was the ma-in-law..well
she was only part of the stink..the other half was a dark skinned easy to lay in a live in
Greed does nasty things to people it changes them.an it seemed to ooze out of kanjars every
porewhen there was an expression on it. Easy way to check people's hidden feelings..in a
conflict scenario the names they call you are their own feelings getting reflected outwards.
See anger is an emotion and a strong emotion at that . So before I or anyone can generate it I
have to feel it. An the only thing that I can feel is whats inside me and that is all I can project
Ever seen an OHP in action, it just projects the slides on the computerit does not create
data similarly anger is a projection of internal feelings.So if someone says aap garib ho
yaan aap paisa kha rahe ho, or you are not faithful it is a reflection of themselves that they are
projecting.9 times out of 10 the speaker of such words is doing what he is accusing the
others of!
Anyways you live n learn n loss is also a blessing in disguise. Only two things lead you to your
true destination 1) if everything goes your way 2) if nothing goes right; in this case you move
on a different path that fits, else you accumulate losses n experience..n finally sense to
change course.for the better ofcourse
So finally sense kicked in..n some measure of self respect, I moved out, didnt ask for
alimony or any settlement n he let me go peacefully.but it took ages n loads of heartbreak
to get theren I never watched a romantic movie or read archie comics for a very long time
after that..my two fav pastimes had become very painful
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