Norell 1

Emily Norell

ENC 1101

Jie Liu

June 30, 2015

Here and Gone

Shut-up

I woke up for school that morning to the piercing sound of my

alarm clock (as I normally do) followed by the repeated, not to mention

unnecessary, bangs on my bedroom door by my very energetic and

persistent mother (as she normally does). I, being the crankiest of

cranky, scream at the top of my lungs Im up, go away! Trailing out of

my room after the twenty-minute rush-around, I get everything ready

to go. Breakfast waiting for me on the kitchen table. Mom waiting for

me in the car. My spiteful conscience tells me to trudge to the door of

the passenger seat as if I have nowhere to be. Can you tell how much

of a non-morning person I am? The car ride is dreadful. Endless

questions and opinions about anything and everything you could

possibly think of coming from my lively, inquisitive mother. Fed up

with it all, I mumble under my breath just shut up, mom. Little did I

know, these couldve been the last words I ever said to her. She was

shocked. I was shocked, too. Did I really just tell my MOM to shut up?

Did she really listen to me? She did, because there were no words.

None from her and certainly none from me. The tension. You could cut
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it with a knife. Pride and ego filled my head and no sympathy for the

hurt I may have caused her came into mind. Slamming the door on the

way out, I dont even turn back for a hug and kiss goodbye. The day

went by. My bad mood subsided after being around my friends. After

school, soccer practice flew by and it was now 7 p.m. Let me tell you

something about my mom. If she is one thing, she is prompt.

Sometimes she is ridiculously early showing up for things. I usually see

her car parked out in front of the school by 6:45, ready to pick me up

and take me home. Its 7:10. I am now worrying. Phone call after

phone call with no answer I finally see my dads car turning into the lot.

Confused because my dad works till 9 or 10 most nights, I knew

something was up. My dad very softly says to me as I lug my soccer

bag into the car, Your mother just got out of an emergency surgery

and we are going to go wait for her to wake up. My heart stopped.

Emergency surgery? Was I missing something? January 22, 2014. A

day I will never forget. The day I was informed that my mother, age

46, was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer. My mother, being the

strong, selfless woman she is didnt tell me or my brothers that she

was sick. Seeing her eyes finally open on the hospital bed was the

exact moment my life changed. It was as if, in the blink of an eye, I

transitioned from being so close-mindedly selfish into a young woman

who realizes that all things in life are so very temporary. The pitiful

attitude I threw at her that morning cost me the pain and regret I felt
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for treating my mother that way. Since that day, Ive come to

appreciate things in life more. I caught a glimpse of life without the

most important person in my life and knew that I had really needed to

change my outlook on things. This was my moment. My

unforgettable, life changing, pivotal moment.

Jack

Peters Elementary School. Mrs. Krises kindergarten class. Room

212. The phone rings. Mrs. Krise picks it up, Sure, Ill send her

down now. Little five-year-old me runs and jumps into my dads

arms, beyond excited to see him (and, of course, to get out of

coloring the letters of the alphabet). My big brother, Justin, is

already eagerly waiting in the car. Both Justin and I, too young to

realize what this day actually means, but old enough to show our

unrivaled excitement for what we may deem as the greatest day of

our lives, thus far. The 15-minute drive felt like an eternity. The rest

is all a blur considering that was close to 11 years ago Jack Tate

Norell. 8lbs., 7oz. Born on the Fifteenth of February, 2002. He is

Jack. There are really no other words to describe him. He is a word

of his own. With its own definition. He is Jack. Thirteen years old

now, he feels he already has it all figured out. Despite my seemingly

unbounded anticipation and enthusiasm I had for the birth of my

new baby brother, Ive spent the past 13 years of his life so
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incredibly distant from him. Our relationship is difficult to explain. A

relationship that is almost nonexistent. I never was able to explain

why it happened this way until recently. You see, my older brother,

Justin, and I were always the best of friends. Only 2 years apart, we

did everything together. I cherish my close bond with my big brother

and knowing that another sibling was on the way, I couldnt wait to

potentially form something else that would be equally as special to

me. It didnt exactly work that way, though. Justin was thrilled that

he finally had another person who he could play video games,

sports, and collect baseball cards with. Justin and Jack. An alliance.

Justin and I never lost our inseparable sibling bond, but seeing him

and Jack together made me somewhat resent Jack for also having

something special with MY best friend. It took me a few years to

finally define the relationship Jack and I have, or lack thereof. Just

last week, I moved up here to Tallahassee. 18 years of living at

home with my family, now 100% on my own and one step closer to

the real world. Being here at FSU for about a week and a half now

has made me realize that the time I neglected to spend with my little

brother is time that Ill never get back. He is growing so fast and I

have overlooked every opportunity to take a second to get to know

him. Yeah, I love him. And of course Id do anything for him. But

being away from him is something that has been extremely hard to

do. In a split second I could lose him. Aside from getting good
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grades, my one goal this year is to build a relationship with Jack.

Before its too late. Is it too late?

Robbery

I was just sixteen years old when I was robbed. Nothing left. It was

all gone. No trace of it still there. Vanished. Snatched right up from

under me. Right before my eyes. And, consequently, I am forever

scarred from this robbery. However, what was taken from me cannot

simply be replaced. It is something no amount of money can ever buy.

Something so very precious that must be earned, not given. Trust. I

was on my way home from work when I found out. My boyfriend had

cheated on me. No. He had cheated on me with my best friend. But, I

mean, I was sixteen. Its not like I was in love or anything so I let my

ex off pretty easy, leaving my (ex) best friend to deal with my raging

anger, choice words, and the mere exile out of my life. Despite my

temporary heartbreak, I just could not fathom why a best friend

would do such a thing. As a result, it is nearly impossible for me to

trust anyone. Ever. I dont quite know why this impacted so much

especially considering how young I was. I just know that it has left its

mark on me as the most terrifying, painful learning experience Ive

ever had to endure. This was my BEST friend of close to ten years.

Inseparable. United. Joint at the hip. Two hearts beating as one. Two
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minds functioning as one. We did everything together. Endless laughs,

occasional tears, and tons of sleepless sleepovers. Practically sisters.

A friendship here one second and gone the next. Sabotaged. How

could someone do this to someone they cared about so much?

Someone who knew all my deepest, darkest secrets. Someone whos

been there for me through all the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Someone who let me cry on her shoulder when I was at my absolute

worst. Before this happened, I was always the most trusting person. I

was someone who was so easy to talk to and open up to. But now,

admittedly, I always have my guard up. A brick wall. Only to be

broken down by the ones willing to spend the time and effort doing so.

Betrayal is something that is extremely hard to cope with. It scars. I

cant help but think that all guys will always be the same until proven

wrong. I cant help but think all my friends are deceiving me. For the

past two years since this incident, I have hindered my own personal

growth and internal peace by constantly playing out situations in my

mind that could happen if I open up to anyone. Its a long road to

recovery from something like this, but I have taken steps to speed up

the process. I have attempted to regain trust within myself before I

can expect it in others. I forgive, but never forget. And, lastly, I rid my

life of relationships with people who do not bring good, positive energy

to it.
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Together Forever

It disgusts me to admit this. But I am one of those girls. Yep, guilty

as charged. I am one of those girls whos obsessed with her dog. Hes

just the cutest thing youll ever see! His happiness: literally radiant.

Impossible to be around him and not have the dying urge to pick him

up and hold him close. When youre having a bad day, worry no more!

Cooper is here to make it better. Oh, and dont even worry about your

Instagram newsfeed. It is surely stocked up with endless pictures of

the day Cooper and I had together. Cooper and Is connection is

something so special. Unexplainable. Better than any other

connection I have with anybody. My best friend.

May 29th, 2015. The day Coopers life ended. It pains me to even

think about it. It all happened so fast. Too fast. Not even two years

old and he suffered from an aggressive case of lymphoma. It was like

he was here one second and gone the next. It was as if someone

ripped my heart out and put it through a shredder. Losing a best friend

has got to be one of the absolute worst experiences in the entire world.

As I still attempt to cope with not hearing his excited bark when I come

through the door, and not feeling him at the foot of my bed when I

wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, I learn to cherish every

single day life gives me. I know that a day is never promised in life.

Although Cooper is gone, he is always with me. Even if hes with me in

the form of just a dog tag on my keychain wherever I go, he is always

with me.