Finding Your True North b5
Finding Your True North b5
SW SE
Contents
Preface
Introduction
l. Defining Calling
II. Ultimate Satisfaction
III. Calling or Career
IV. Mission Statement
V. Components of the Call
VI. Components of Self Identity
VII. Dreams vs. Aspirations
VIII. Job: Career or Calling
Finding Your True North
Preface
As you read this book, you will find several repeated ideas that are
crucial to this process. It is truly a process of introspection and reflection.
The first is that you need to be you. When we join relationships we get
entwined with emotions that become a distraction. We seek to please
others rather than stay true to ourselves. This takes strength of both
character and mind, but it will build relationships that help enlarge who
you are.
In this book, you will also find the idea of sacrifice. Self-serving sacrifice
may be nice and applauded, but it will not give you any direction to
understanding your calling. Rather, sacrifice is a positive when
considering objects, relationships, and other distractions, which we may
enjoy, but not positive influences to the peace, power, and confidence
we aspire to.
choices I had made. At the same time, they became the stepping stones
to my direction and understanding.
There were many cycles that kept going round and round leaving me in
a deeper hole. Once the cycles were slowed, better choices made, the
road became much smoother, but still not perfect. As I saw life clearer,
opportunities came my way. This helped me set a direction, find better
influences, and develop my gifts. There are far better people in the
world, but I am the best of me for the people who come into my small
corner of the world. I cannot change the world, but I can impact the
small piece around me
My hope is that this book will help you see life with more direction, be
less stressful, and give you the confidence to move forward by making
better choices, impacting the world that comes to you.
Paul R. Friesen
Finding Your True North
Introduction
The idea of having a specific life call is based on Christian philosophy
and ideals. This is not to say that there are not secular ideas, which use
the idea, but they often use different terms. Related terms would focus
on self-image, or how a person views their spiritual self-interaction with
a physical environment or entity. For many the idea of calling is a
culmination of factors including culture and academics mixed with
aspirations and dreams. Though this is partially true, understanding the
common threads of each of these areas will help in determining an
individuals life mission.
Many times the synchronization of, what we are good at and the
opportunities that seem to be open do not function well together. The
question then becomes, If I am called to do something why dont the
opportunities come to me so I can function better?
Schuster would suggest that people often do not honor the calling we
turn it into ambition. This means that we ignore all the other
relationships that a call is dependent on. We end up placing our
individual call above all else, making it more important than anything
and anyone else. (Schuster: 05.30.11)
When you have a volcano erupting, the pressure and focused energy
result in a flow, which follows out from the energy center. Therefore, to
understand what calling is, requires more than just an understanding
of ones self, but how that interacts with all other energies in life.
In this book you will be challenged to answer questions about ones self,
culture, family history, and communication. Each challenge will help
understand you better, and narrow your energy to a more focused
point. You will be asked to prioritize ideas in your life and goals. Often
reorganization of priorities will enhance relationships, give you more
energy, and bring new highs to the satisfaction with life.
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W l. Defining Calling
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Calling can be a confusing term which some equate to career and others to a
religious vocation. For today, I thought Id share some basic definitions from a
few different authors perspectives.
Schuster uses several key ideas in understanding call. The first is invitation
from life. Things do not invite, people invite. This means that a being outside
of us has invited us to participate in life. To Christians this person is God. To
others it could be a spirit or other entity they consider a highest value.
The second idea is to serve as a cause. This means there is a purpose to the
invitation and a focal point. The outcome of this focus is lasting creativity. The
idea of lasting is a residual energy that stays with you. Lasting also implies a
continuity of flow from the focal point.
Our calling is to first move to the focal point, from which our creativity can flow
easily and effortlessly. This means that if we expend our energy moving
towards anything we should ask questions about the outcome not just the
income.
For a more in-depth discussion, please refer to ~ Answering Your Call: A Guide
for Living Your Deepest Purpose.
You may care about your family, friends, or keeping your job. That is not the
focus of this question, as they are natural to us as humans. To answer this
question you should consider ideas where you would use your energy, not
necessarily relationships.
This is a bit harder to answer. I do not like to serve many causes. I find that my
strengths are often not needed or I am not listened to. This lack of affirmation
makes me choose carefully the places to spend my energy. I do not join
political or view humanitarian causes because I think they use too much of my
money for administration. Therefore, causes that I would serve are those,
which have a greater percentage of their monies going to the outcome not
high-paid administration.
Os Guinness, author of The Call, defines calling as the truth that God calls us
to himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and
everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out
as a response to his summons and services . . . Calling is the ultimate why for
living in all of history. He goes on to say that, we are not primarily called to
do something or go somewhere, we are called to Someone. (Guinness:
mycallingiq.com)
For many years I used my energy to find the relationships that would affirm me,
my ideas, and my history. In the end I burned out. To help people was my drive
and I sought the jobs, people, and causes that I thought I could help. I ignored
my own health in my zeal to help others.
To understand the idea that Guinness is saying is to challenge what I had been
doing. When I let people come to me, I was more effective and had more
Finding Your True North
energy. When the focal point was understood to be the point from which the
outcome was my creativity, the people to whom I was called came to me.
The two definitions are not contrary to each other. Rather, Schuster focuses on
the choices we must make in determining where we should spend our energy.
Guinnesss definitions lean toward the relationship connection. We cannot
serve ALL people. We should choose the jobs that move us closer to reaching
our person focal point.
What do you think of the idea that a calling implies someone calling you?
What do you think of the idea that a calling implies you being called to a
specific person or people group?
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Worksheet 1
In the beginning or any journey, it is good to think about goals and directions.
The following questions and statements will help you focus on where you are
in life and your perceptions of opportunities currently open to choose. Take
time to give long thoughtful answers as you start the journey. I have started it
for you.
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Worksheet 2
I am good at . Opportunities that I feel
come to me
1. Creating new ideas for are.
problems.
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Opportunities that open in my life that Why they do not fit and how I can still
do NOT fit who I am are participate.
Social teams for relaxation I interact well with people and have a lot
if integrity. At the same time functioning
as a part of the group, and not as leader,
creates a lot of stress. I can still
participate by making suggestions or
excelling in the social interaction, but it
~~~~ take s a lot of mental and emotional
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W II. Ultimate
Satisfaction
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Finding Your True North
Ask yourself questions about which job you would go to again, place
your live the rest of your life, people who you would have around you.
Answer these and you will find a common thread. The thread is
ultimate satisfaction.
If you have ever been with a group of people that you enjoy being with.
At some point, you just relax and enjoy them because there is an air that
they accept you for who you are. Or, you and a friend see something at
the same time and think the same thoughts. Without speaking or
interaction there is a sense of camaraderie that only you can understand.
Others are bewildered at your smile or smirk. That is the intrinsic
Think about what you perceive you are good at and what you are
passionate about. This intrinsic sense of peace and satisfaction creates a
passion that goes beyond just being good at something. It is perhaps
better said in the idea of being natural. The naturalness of what you
do takes a minimum of energy and the results are empowering. This is a
natural attraction flowing from your inner self. Your calling is this way.
You do not work toward it, but discover it through choices driven by the
passion to satisfaction.
I enjoy driving. I tried driving a truck as a job, but my mind went crazy. I
am told I am (could be) a good salesperson, because tests show I have
an aptitude to deal with people. Though I enjoy sales, I am usually not
very successful. Having an altruistic background, the benefit to the
person is more satisfying than the financial return. This does not bode
well for me in a direct sales capacity. At the same time, people feel very
comfortable around me. This may mean I am a good pastor, but not a
good preacher. The creativity and gentle character brings me closer to
my calling. I have the highest satisfaction when I can do both of these.
The problem is it is almost never possible.
When we consider our calling, tests and aptitudes will help, but only
marginally. Some people can play music, while others can compose
music. Many leaders are the hidden because they do not push their way
to the front. Other leaders attract followers without too much effort.
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There are people however, that seem to be able to turn everything into
gold. These are people with a calling to business. They do not need
degrees or experience. They just have an intrinsic knowledge of what to
do. They do not know the theory nor have read books, but are much
better than those who do.
The call, is driven by passion. Many times people are not passionate
about anything in todays culture. Passion is considered a romantic
attraction. These are not similar in any way. Passion is a consuming fire.
It is what we desire to do as soon and as often as possible. It is what we
talk about all the time. It consumes our energy. Passion will help give
direction in our search for a calling, but it is only a road to follow in
your search. It will help you choose your education and career, but not
the people to whom you are called.
Worksheet
Which job you would go to again?
Why would you like to return to it? List at least 3 explaining why.
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Which place would you like to live the rest of your life? (From your past)
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Who would you like to have around you? List their names and why you
would choose them?
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III. Calling vs. Career
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If you could give one gift to the world, what would it be? As mentioned
earlier I have tried several different jobs. These career choices were
determined through a bank of tests. Testing may help you discover your
passion but not your calling.
The quote at the beginning of this chapter is true. If you have a job that
you love to do you will never work a day in your life. That is because you
will be stimulated and have your energy renewed every day.
theirs will enable you to have that sense of satisfaction that other
choices would not have. It is not just a career, but a match of your inner
person with the companies inner environment.
To answer the question at the beginning of this unit, I would give the gift
of creativity. I am not an artist or a wordsmith, but I am creative in
finding solutions to problems and issues. How would you answer the
question? Spend some time this week thinking about what you would
say in response to each of these questions and share an answer in the
comments section. Id love to hear your thoughts.
Finding Your True North
***** To help you understand how to make sense of this questionnaire refer
to the Extrapolation and Interpretation in the Appendices section. You
can work through to understand the job or Company you would work
best in.
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The idea that we have missed out on our true callingthat somehow we
ought to have intuited what we should be doing with our lives long
before we finished our degrees, started families, and advanced through
the rankstorments us. This notion, however, can be an illusion. The
term calling came into circulation in a Christian context during the
medieval period to describe the abrupt imperative people might
encounter to devote themselves to Jesus' teachings. Now a secularized
version has survived, which is prone to give us an expectation that our
lifes meaning might, at some point, be revealed in a ready-made and
decisive form, rendering us permanently immune to confusion, envy,
and regret.
When using the term calling we will define it as the bridge between
people. It functions best with your personal mission statement. There
are many leaders, who are not born to lead and struggle with fulfillment.
There are others, who follow quietly but desire to be leaders. They are
called, but no one is calling.
Many things make up calling. Just like the challenge to discover our
personal mission statement, we should ask ourselves similar questions.
Finding Your True North
A calling is not measured by position or title, but how and where you
function best. It is empowering, defining how your mind and emotion
work together. It is not changeable and often missed in pursuit of other
controlling factors in our life. If a person peruses through various blogs
the common thread is that a calling is from birth.
Many unrelated ideas such as gifts and talents are somewhat linked to a
calling. We should be careful not to confuse the issues related to the
words, as we throw them around. Gifts or talents are inherent traits.
These are strengths, which we have a natural tendency. A gift, as
referenced in scripture, is a God given empowerment that functions only
in a relationship with God. The number of gifts may be disputed, but
the power and relationship is not. A calling is related to these, only if
you consider the dimension of function. When we refer to calling, it is
much more than a natural ability. It is a point of reference where our life
runs the smoothest. It is a drive, but not like money or power, but a
drawing to a point of ultimate peace. Money and power are most often
negatives, whereas calling is all about peace, out of which comes
power and confidence. These may bring financial freedom, but this is
neither a guarantee nor expectation. The expectation is to experience
an energy that no money, position, or power, can give a person.
An architect can design a beautiful house. Designs are beautiful, but are
they realistic or just workable theories. A mission statement helps a
person see reality clearly. The time elements are set but adjustable.
Each element can be broken down to bite-size pieces. The mission
statement keeps us on a track for success and empowerment, but it is
not a calling.
A Christian Perspective
There are distractions all the time. To pursue them takes energy and
exhaustion. Choosing to adjust a mission statement to meet goals as
they develop is important. To function in your calling will make your
choices easier, because it is a feeling that you never want to lose. The
following people write that God needs to be the center of your life to
make this calling work.
Finding Your True North
To understand the idea of calling from a Christian view God must be the
center of everything we do. He initiates the process of learning. The
understanding is a process of maturation of a relationship. This does not
mean that old Christians have a better understanding. Many people
never mature in relationships. They adhere to the traditions and rest on
them instead of changing.
Worksheet
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What ideas are similar? Write these down and look for links.
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Calling
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Vision is about how you view yourself in the future. Achieving something is the
plan. It is time oriented.
Vision
Notice how vision starts with who you want to be, not what you will achieve.
Who you become is more important than what you do with your life, but what
you do will influence who you become.
An example of a vision statement could be as basic as this one from Dr. Randall
Hansen, the webmaster at Quintcareers.com, To touch the lives of as many
people as possible millions and millions empowering them to achieve
personal and career happiness and success. Notice how this simple statement
could be lived-out in a wide variety of ways. A vision statement does not set
your life in cement; it just helps you visualize what you are aiming for. This
vision is vague, but it is a good start to understanding call. Your call is
about impacting people. How many people is undetermined.
In a sales training program I took many years ago, it was suggested that each of
us knows 250 people. If this were true if we impacted 250 people we could
easily reach millions. Of those 250 x 250 people what impact would we have?
My uncle Alfred began a Bible program in schools many years ago. He did it in
the winter and had minimal support. His vision was to have a program in all the
country schools in his area. That was in the 60s. I met a person a couple of
years ago who said she was a student of his. His vision impacted may students,
but at the same time, the impact was long term. Bible classes are no longer in
schools, but the impact continues to change lives. Vision is about seeing how
what you will impact others. Vision and call come together at this vortex. At
this vortex, the maximum impact on the world around you occurs.
what you truly value. Theres a reason people who write down their goals
achieve them at significantly higher rates than those who dont. Vision allows
us to pursue those things that are in line with our values and the direction we
want to go while saying no to those things that are not.
A mission statement is much more precise than vision. Both have goals, but
vision will focus on our values while driven by the directives of the mission
statement. Calling and Vision could really be considered two sides of the
same coin. Calling is about hearing. Vision is about seeing.
Feeling
What parts of my vision make me feel Whats your vision today or this
important here and now? week?
Where do you feel compelled to go?
To answer this question reflect on (direction)
ideas that have an emotional tie to
At times, our sense will compel us to
them. Perhaps words like reflection
move in a direction. It is
and relaxation. unexplainable. You should follow this
lead, even though you may have
questions.
Your ideas here Your ideas here
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To answer this question, focus on more than the act of doing, but on the
sense of direction itself. Focus on both the end goal. Ideas like I am
called to go to Home-Plus. In a calling the answer is often not given. As
a facilitator, I am called to go somewhere, only to meet a person I can
listen to or give advice. We have not made a plan to meet, but we both
responded to our calling.
To answer this question visualize the process not just the goals. Ask
yourself how it will bring a stronger sense of peace or direction to your
life. Visualize people coming to you (if you are called to people), or a
project proposal, etc.
Discipline
There are many distractions, and at times ambition and profit gets in the way.
Another element is resistance. Recognizing resistance is the first part of the
battle. I used to think if I loved talking to people so much it should be easy to
do all the time. My wife, would get frustrated when I talked to people I did not
know and wondered why it was so hard to get me away from them. If I was
really called to people talking to them should just come naturally, shouldnt it?
This confusion with who I am and whom I let people see was in conflict. People
give me energy, but interacting with people draws that energy. A bit confusing,
but when it is understood that in that crowd do people are the ones I am
called to. I had a good vision of my calling, but misappropriated how to
achieve it. When I stopped chasing the crowd and focused on who entered my
circle of influence I was much more effective.
that distract from writing or painting, or trying to compose a song on your new
piano. Artists know a lot about resistance, but resistance does not just attack
artists. We can always find excuses to not do what we should do. It is not
that we do not know what we should do, but that we experience some
insecurity because we cannot determine the outcome. Identify where, when,
and how you face resistance in your life so that you can start to overcome it.
Many of us can say money keeps us from what love to do. Most of the time,
this is not a good reason or excuse. Poor people can save money because they
have disciplined themselves to budget. When answering this question use
words that are based in activities that are not important.
The second part of the battle is simply showing up every day. Inspiration does
not strike people like lightning. Inspiration is often an instant thought or idea.
Inspiration is not an idea that you have when you are stressed and you grasp at
straws. You are desperate and most often make foolish decisions. You will
need to think about the times when you get most of your workable ideas. By
starting the motions of whatever it is we need inspiration for, we open the
door for inspiration to arrive.
Our callings deserve that same dedication and discipline. Doing what we love
is still work. Many people are disciplined in their habits and jobs, yet
unfulfilled. The sacrifice of some things requires an understanding of the
rewards you will have when you are in your calling. When you function in your
calling, priorities need to change. As priorities change, the level of fulfillment
also increases. The energy you need to push yourself is pushing you.
What excuses do you make to avoid activities you cant get out of?
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When answering this you should reflect on how your job energizes you.
Perhaps you are in the right kind of company but in the wrong position.
How will you achieve that position so you can function in your calling?
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Humility
Your calling never takes place in isolation. It needs community and the
accountability that comes with it. A community of backslappers will never help
you. Surrounding yourself with people with whom you can talk to honestly, will
move you to humility, which in turn moves you to growth. I value those who
have been there with gentleness and nurturing spirit. These people are special
and they are there for you. There are not always many, but one here and there.
Humility is important is you are to remain open to learning new things and
accepting help from those around you. The proverb, pride goes before a fall
is very true. Humility is a view of self as an equal with all others. It is not
demeaning of self, but understands the limits of humanity and the inclusion
of others in the learning circle.
discover that is only a faade, and the true self is discovered. All you need to
do is look at politicians, leaders, and then yourself. Most people like
leadership, but lose their focus to ambition followed by pride. Others are
called to leadership and excel, without the stress and effort most often
associated with the position. They are much more effective, not because they
are in a power position, but because when a person in their calling the drive to
hold power is not an issue and humility is easier to exercise. Humilitys
confidence lie in abilities, but doesnt claim ownership over them. The key
word is gift. We are gifted, and we are to be stewards not owners of them.
When you function in your calling, you will discover a sense of gratitude.
Gratitude will be the catalyst for change in your worldview. You cannot believe
how incredibly lucky you are to be doing whatever it is you are doing.
Asking yourself, Am I humble? leads to arrogance. If you need to ask, you are
probably not very humble. Ask yourself Instead, how grateful you are for your
position in life. Ask questions about what you are learning new. How do people
give input into your life?
List the people with whom you can be honest and accept their input into your
ideas or habits.
Humility is about stewardship. What have you been given that you
consider a steward of? How are you managing them?
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Community
Secondly, community offers the help and support we need to follow our
callings. We just cannot do it on our own. Good communities n help us grow by
keeping us accountable. At times, we are stubborn and refuse to ask for help.
Some people would consider this a fear-factor. We are scared of people
pushing their agendas in us. We lack a trust in people, but this is what a good
community is about. Most, if not all of us have been betrayed by someone. It
makes us a bit shy to ask for help. Part of getting help is getting it from the
right people and helping them understand exactly what kind of support youre
looking for. This is not about taking just anyones advice. Dont negate your
own judgment in favor of someone elses, just because theyre older or have a
Finding Your True North
degree that you dont have. Part of the problem is that we have not sat down
and figured out our own opinions on anything. We depend on others to feed
us. This dependence creates a constant change of mind about decisions. We
have no faith in our judgment. Community is a safe sounding box for us to
create our individuality.
We should be careful not to confuse community with group. Though they are
basically groups, a community is there to help us define our individuality. A
group is something we hang out with and are often bound to them through
social or cultural mores. All of us need wise council, so find those people who
are doing what you want to do, and who are passionately following their own
callings. Ask them to share their experiences. Find a mentor.
As social creatures, living in community is part of our DNA. When you start to
follow your calling, there can be a sudden sense of deep isolation when you
realize how counter-cultural it is. Your values and priorities may change
drastically compared to those around you. It can feel lonely when friends or
family dont understand why you need or want to follow your calling. In fact
many times a person will get ridiculed for their choices. We need close
colleagues and a team of supporters in our lives to help us follow through on
our dreams.
Think about your community. Is it? How do they help you to learn and grow?
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What kind of support you need and where will you find your dream team?
Example ~ I need a team of people who will listen to my ideas and ask good
questions to point me in the right direction. I will find them in
groups of people that God brings into my life. Most of these know
me already, I just have to establish connections and develop a
relationship with them.
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Sacrifice
When we talk about living your calling, it is possible to get the impression it is a
joy ride, where everything about your personality, gifts, talents, interests.
Motivation neatly falls into place and every day is this amazing energy-filled
work of art that you love.
To make choices toward your calling you will have to make sacrifices. As
mentioned in the discussion of discipline, to achieve the smoothness and
fluidity of our calling sacrifices must be made. Our calling takes us in one
direction and excludes others. It is very individualistic. Nobody will fit the niche
that you have reserved for you. The people you are called to are ready for you.
They will come when you are ready. Often we understand a bit of ourselves
and we pursue relationships with all of our energy. If we relax and expend our
energy in a more balanced way we will find that we have less stress and the
right people will come anyway.
In business, we use the term opportunity cost to put a price on pursuing one
direction instead of another. In other words, what is the cost of making a
decision to do A that excludes being able to do B?
Calling also requires us to live out our stories and become who we were meant
to be. Our calling is not a state of static flux. It is a change through growth,
which unfortunately can be painful. In fact, the only way we really do learn life
lessons and become better human beings is through trials. Suffering takes
humans through a refining process. The reflection on the effort to remain
Finding Your True North
disciplined is a good example. If you want to follow your calling, you will have
to sacrifice the security of your comfort zone. You will be stretched in new
areas. In order to grow, we may need to sacrifice old perceptions or beliefs and
our desire for independence and control. Our boundaries will need to be
reassessed, or perhaps become more flexible to allow us to let go of our need
to control.
Initially calling requires hard work. The changes needed for us to understand
how things fit together takes a lot of soul searching and challenge, you could
even call it labor! Doing the real work behind the vision isnt necessarily a
breeze. You will be required to make sacrifices of your time and your energy. In
our culture, hard work is looked upon as a negative. In reality, it will bring out
the true person.
The sacrifices our callings ask us to make may seem like too much, but avoiding
your calling can actually lead to greater pain. It may be scary, but its the only
life worth living. If we refuse to make necessary sacrifices, we may end up
refusing to really live.
How willing are we to give up the good life in order to pursue the best life?
Example ~ I have a good life and I am not ready to risk it for a dream of better. I
need to be guaranteed a better life.
Joy
The cost to get joy is pain. We do not often think of joy and pain in the same
phrase, as most of us love joy and hate pain. We can also reverse that and say
that pain is mitigated by joy. Joy is a core component of calling; its the
counterbalance to sacrifice, discipline and hard work. Joy is a combination of
feeling deep gratitude and delight in your life and work. One of the synonyms
is to be blessed with. You could look at joy as feeling blessed with your life.
The depth of your joy may be reflected in the amount of sacrifice you have
committed to. Sacrifice is not sacrifice at all if you are full of joy. When you
have joy the idea of pain and sacrifice is, What pain? What sacrifice? There is
Finding Your True North
no room for such thoughts because it clears away any shadows that might be
there.
If you are looking for your calling and wondering what you should be doing
with your life, many career experts start with the question, What do you
enjoy?As humans, we want to experience joy in our work. We want to feel
blessed with what we do. It is what we spend our life searching for. We know
theres more to our work than our paychecks. Have you ever had that
experience where youve done something difficult, that required a lot from you,
but you wouldnt have traded the experience for anything because it was
meaningful and satisfied something in your heart? Thats the joy in the call.
The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi uses the term Flow to describe the
mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a
feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the
activity. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture,
while performing a task (Wikipedia). When we operate out of a deep sense of
calling, our energy and joy seem limitless. Have you ever had that experience
where you have been so engrossed in an activity, you have lost track of the
time? If you have, you were probably experiencing flow.
So you feel you are in the perfect job, but dont feel limitless and energized
right now? Dont worry! We will not feel like this every waking moment of our
day, even if we are operating out of a deep sense of calling. The day-to-day
tasks will not all be exhilarating, no matter how much we wish that could be.
Theres a perception that our lives will become easy and happy if were doing
what we love. This is false. It is like the perception that getting married will
solve all your problems and you will live blissfully ever after. Do not give up on
following your calling because you are not experiencing ecstasy every moment
of the day! The experience of joy may be more like the sudden ray of sunshine
breaking through the clouds, the moment of beauty that lifts your heart and
gives you hope and motivation to continue. Even though it is only a moment, it
makes the rest of the day worth it.
Ask yourself what brings you joy right now? If you cant think of anything that
brings you joy right now, try thinking about what situation, thing, or process
that you enjoy improving, fixing, or interacting in.
Finding Your True North
Have you ever experienced the flow? Perhaps you havent but would like to.
If you have write it below. It is important to remember the experience as it is
where your calling functions. If you havent ever, describe what you would
be doing to feel the flow in action. ( Visualize yourself in action)
When was the last time you experienced the flow, as defined by
Csikszentmihalyi?
Or, write a vision of yourself in action where the feeling of the flow is in full
effect.
Example ~ Its been awhile but when I gave my presentation a couple of years
ago I felt the flow in action. It is an unforgettable feeling and Im
sure people around me got tired of me talking about it.
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Finding Your True North
Already you have answered many questions about people and places that you
feel comfortable in or with. You have written a few ideas about opportunities
that are constantly coming into your spere of influence. These small things all
add up to your self-identity.
People have often queried about how we can say that we are created in Gods
image, when there are so many different looks around. To understand this idea,
we must understand infinity, which is impossible. The idea of infinity is beyond
our comprehension. To create a world or universe that functions together
without major mishap is beyond our finite self. We can only peruse what
infinity is in real terms. On the other hand, we can see God in all of His creation,
the balance of how the universe operates, and the nature of people. That
humans are out of balance comes down to one idea, free choice. We have
been given the choice to live with the rules of nature, or manipulate them to
better society. Since we are limited in understanding, we can see only a few
years ahead, at most, while God sees the infinite future. To discover our Call
we must acknowledge God through an active relationship.
Believe in God or not, the entity, which created requires recognition. The
creator created the rules, and when they work as created, there is minimal
friction. This is where the call is. It is the place where what and who we were
created are in harmony. This does not mean that we cannot be successful or
Finding Your True North
happy. Many people are successful and happy. Their lives are full of health and
wealth. Most have one or the other.
Your self-identity may be defined as the way you look at yourself and your
relationship to the world. Understanding this, allows you to examine who you
are and more importantly create who you want to be.
Components of Self-Identity
Self-Identity is not restricted to the present. It includes past and future selves.
Future selves represent an individuals ideas of what they might become
(possibility) , what they would like to become(desire), and what they are afraid
of becoming (fear). They correspond to words like: hopes, fears, standards,
goals, and threats. What we view as possible may function as incentives for
future behavior and provide an evaluative context for interpreting our current
view of self.
List negative phrases that you tell yourself then change them to reflect a better
self-assessment.
Finding Your True North
Boundary
Boundaries are important guides to our identity. They are clear and defined, if
you can imagine your self-identity as your house or property. The boundary
lines let others know how far the ownership of the property goes. In a
personal development sense, the boundaries are more difficult to see and be
aware of. In a nutshell, your boundaries are your preferences or rules you
have about things like:1) What behavior is acceptable from and towards you. 2)
Your ability to say YES and NO.
Example ~
You have a group of friends that are fun to hang out with. Sometimes they do
things that you disapprove of. As a result, others are hurt financially or
emotionally. Bullying is one example of this. While you are together, they want
you to watch or be silent even if you disapprove. Do you watch them bully
someone because they are valued persons? Do you stand up and show your
disapproval stating your boundaries do not allow it? Are you able to be
comfortable saying No to the request. Boundaries are not effective if other
people set them. Taking control of your boundaries may require changes in
relationships. They define who you are to your friends. If your friends respect
you they will not ask you to expand your boundaries.
Think carefully about how you respond to other peoples requests for your
time, money, or relationships. Who sets your boundaries? If your answer is
similar to the one below, follow up with how you want to change the situation.
Example ~ I like to think I set my own boundaries, but when a friend asks me to
do something I feel uncomfortable about I usually follow them. I
need to more secure in who I am so I can be stronger to defend my
boundaries.
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Worldview
The worldview is our standard of how things are or should be in the world we
live in. It is a global concept that makes up our values and morals, our rules of
how we should act, relate, and operate within the world. To most people the
worldview is a vague set of rules and guidelines adopted from our friends,
family religious groups, and society, seldom making an active process of
creating our own. We can create aspects of our worldview though our intellect,
using either rational and conscious decisions or emotional charged ideas and
concepts. The worldview is a filter, which we make judgments of others and
ourselves.
Self Esteem
emotional experience will increase the sensation. In simple terms, when you
experience an event or situation that supports your world view your personal
and emotional steam power increases and vice versa.
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Your boundaries surround your self-identity, which filters both outward and
inward experience you have to the world. The resulting emotional experience
you have from a situation, person or event is then determined by how well you
managed the experience in relation to your worldview.
Example~
If you do not have a boundary about yelling, the person will yell at you and
you will lose self-esteem, because according to your worldview that they do
not respect you. In addition, because you are not living up to your own
standards, you feel bad and lose more self-esteem.
Finding Your True North
You might like to think of the boundary as being a container or protector that
surrounds you. It not only protects your self-identity, but acts like a gas tank
for your self-esteem. Within the boundary is your measure of Self Esteem. We
understand that our sense of self-esteem is a measure of how well we measure
up to our worldview. This measure determines our actions and reactions to
the world around you determined by the rules that we have.
Self-Identity problems
Each person is unique. Therefore, their view of the world is unique to them.
No one has a perfect worldview (except in his or her thinking). In fact, most
people live a good and productive life but have very vague rules or an
understanding of their worldview. This vagueness is reflected in broken
boundaries, or a lack of preference for; who they are, what they like and what
is appropriate behavior. Sometimes there is no preference at all which creates
gaps in the boundary.
Self Identity
We all have holes in our boundaries, defined as gaps. Gaps are undefined or a
lack of preferences on self-imposed rules. At a basic level, it is your inability to
say or hear the word No. For example, you might not be able to say No to a
family members request, or if done by someone outside of the family, allow
them to get away with something unacceptable for you,
A vague preference or rule is something that you are a little wishy-washy on.
It is a concept or situation where you have an idea of what is acceptable to you.
For example, you may define yourself by a particular religious faith, but live in
sin according to that faith and justify it to yourself.
When your boundaries have gaps or vague preferences, you lack control in
your decision-making. You put yourself in a position where people or
situations can reach in and press your buttons. This will create stress and
confusion. Without a boundary filter for your identity, you will drain your
sense of self-esteem.
When you do not have a clear sense of preferences, or lack self esteem to act
on them, people will manipulate and annoy you. You will get annoyed with
yourself and be unable to present a clear concept of who you are to those
around you. People will not be able understand where you stand on
something which makes it difficult for them to develop respect or trust for you.
Example ~
Let us assume someone who has a history of bad spending habits and a lack of
self-discipline says there was something they absolutely needed and spent all
their money. They then ask to borrow $300 from you until payday. If you have
clear boundaries, you would consider this request using your defined rules and
personal expectations. Your answer would be a direct No! because you
question the validity of the other persons choices. You would then suggest
that they learn to live within their means commenting that new shoes are a
luxury not a necessity.
You have stated your worldview and preferences, strengthening your resolve
to say No to this request. The person may attempt to manipulate you or
push your buttons by making you feel guilty. They may say something like,
You know last weekend I brought you drinks, and you cant do me this little
favor. You will feel a bit guilty and remorse, but you will have the strength to
maintain your position.
Will you lose a friend? Who needs friends who always push our boundaries?
You have a solid rule about this, when they push you, they feel the resistance,
your firmness and resolve. While they may not like your decision, they will
respect you for it. You will raise your level of self-esteem because you have
encountered a situation that you remained true to who you are. Because you
followed your worldview rules, you filled your tank a little more which
strengthens your self-identity.
Finding Your True North
Vague Boundaries
If you only have vague rules, you might need to think about the request for a
moment. You may have the rule that it is OK to lend money to friends and
family because it is only right to help people you love. It might depend on the
situation and the person asking, and perhaps if they just promise to be more
careful next time you will give them the money.
In this situation, you have doubts about yourself, who you are, and what you
believe. While you may make someone else happy, you are unsure it was the
right decision to make. You may question yourself afterwards as to why you
gave money away you needed. Your boundary here is vague you have no
measure these kinds of decisions affect your self-esteem and are subject to
seeking external confirmation you did the right thing. People in this situation
will ask other people for confirmation not taking ownership for the decision.
Taking ownership for the decision, right or wrong, will allow you to build self-
identity and esteem, change or fix boundaries, create better solutions and
answers for next time.
Now let us assume you have a gap in boundary about your worldview rule, a
hole when it comes to people asking for money. The person asking is telling
you they are in need, they would not ask otherwise, and you want them to like
you so you give them the money they ask for. Come payday, they are out with
their friends having a great time and they do not even offer to pay you back.
You ask them about it and they make an excuse and promise next week. This
person knows you are weak, there is no respect for you or your needs, they
can get what they want and you offer no level of value to them because you
are so easy to manipulate.
You on the other hand feel betrayed and left out, your sense of who you are
and your place in the world is conditional on someone else and what they do.
You get stressed because you think they should behave a certain way and
they are not. According to your rules about life, people should not spend
money on things they do not need and cant afford, but because of the gap in
your boundary you did not live up to your expectations of how you should live
your life. Your sense of self-esteem drains as you spend your time and energy
worrying about something that is now outside of your control.
Finding Your True North
When you have a clearly defined worldview, where you know the rules, you
can create preferences or boundaries around yourself. As life experiences
come around, you make decisions based on your boundaries. This in turn
increases your sense of self-esteem and develops a stronger character and self-
identity. You are able to define the limits of your control.
In the case of psychological feelings, you understand that you are the only one
who can make you feel a certain way. You understand that things outside of
your self-identity can only affect you when there is a gap in your boundary.
Others may attempt to control the outcome of a situation or your feelings, but
your boundary will protect you from any attempts to manipulation. You will act
with integrity. You will know what requests, events and situations you say No
or Yes too. They are unable to push your buttons and make you respond in a
way that gets them a result.
You also understand that you are the only person able to control who you are.
On the other hand you are unable to determine others world views or what
boundaries they might or might not have. You resist the mistake of attempting
to get results by controlling another persons worldview and self- identity.
How are your boundaries? What problems do you experience with gaps in your
boundaries? How does fixing your boundary gaps affect your call?
Example ~
My boundaries are getting stronger. I have many people who desire my time.
At times, they ask for money, which they always promise to pay back. In fixing
my gaps in the areas of time and money, I have made questions to ask before
committing to something. In terms of money, I ask myself if I am comfortable
with the idea of losing it. If I cant lose it I cant give it. In terms of time, it is
important that I give myself time to my primary job well first. I view my call
Finding Your True North
as a facilitator, which infers that people will be redirected through me. I need
to maintain balance especially in terms of time. The danger is to focus my call
on my ambition, losing the peace, power, and confidence functioning in the
call zone will give me.
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Finding Your True North
Goals
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When a decision is in conflict with your goals, due to some desire for
immediate pleasure or satisfaction, it is likely that none or few of your
goals will ever be realized. This happens all the time. We make decisions
based on a perception that other rewards will follow. When the other
rewards do not fall into place, we miss meeting our goals. We need to
set boundaries that keep us from making decisions based on hope alone.
Finding Your True North
Path
The call is the center from which these goals are the most easily
achieved. When the these are not in sync, your daily life gets in the way
of saving money for that home your long term goal of a down payment
is either pushed further out or nonexistent. You will reach the edges of
your potential, but lack the full power of it.
achieve a daily positive attitude. You will discover that people are
attracted to people who live life to the fullest. Avoid just going through
the day. Instead, find something to be passionate about in any given day.
Whether it may be something mundane or something grand, squeeze all
that you can out of life every day.
Proactive
The motivation to the call is somewhat altruistic. The idea of the call
is not driven by money or fame, but by a sense of duty to function in
the place and position you are chosen for. At this point you will impact
the world around you.
collected cash for groceries. When they saw someone who couldnt pay
they paid it for them. No names were given or exchanged. Too often we
want the praise of doing good deeds.
December 2, 2015 a race was run. One participant was ahead by quite a
margin. The runner stopped because he thought he had finished, but
still had a few meters to go. The runner behind him caught up to him. He
could easily have passed and won, but took the first persons hand and
showed him where to go. There was no news of this in the major media
outlets.
Being proactive means that fame and fortune are not always first, but
reacting to a higher morality is. I can imagine a lot of criticism came
from those who would take advantage of the situation, but being
proactive, the second person had already determined their action.
Appreciate what you have. I have always told my children that you dont
change jobs for money. There is never enough money. If you just drive
to your dreams and goals and forget gratitude, you will achieve them
and miss happiness. Choose happiness and you will achieve your goals
with less stress and stronger relationships.
Take Opportunities
A simple lunch with a homeless person could be the one thing that
changes a life. When we move closer to the calling of our lives people
Finding Your True North
Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter releases stress and helps take
the immediate stress away. Joking can also be a protective cover for
stress. Positive attitudes and humor make the world go around
smoother. People generally like to be around other people who find
humor in even the most difficult situations. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Life is much too valuable to be moping around in self-pity. Know that a
great sense of humor is very attractive.
There are no limits to what you can do. The video often seen on
Facebook of the man with no arms or legs, but who still speaks to
crowds, is just one of many. It is not what you have, but what you do
with what you have that is important. Nobody can take your dreams and
aspirations from you and there is no limit to how far you can go and how
much you can accomplish. Bad things happen to good people. Only the
good die young they say. Even by doing nothing, you are still creating
your life, so get involved and create the life you can enjoy. Anyone who
has been successful, who lives life and has a life to be proud of, has a
daily positive attitude.
Finding Your True North
You now have a positive attitude about life. You want to understand
how you can change your life to match the ideas you have just worked
through. What? Where? How? All these are good questions. A call
may not come through the phone, a friend, or sit in your lap.
Remember the first worksheets you did. They were difficult to do. To
find your call pay attention to what opportunities come into your life.
This means to the things that happen in your life, the people you meet,
the places you are drawn to. This means those things that you just want
to do and the people with whom you want to do them.
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Dont chase opportunity. Chasing will make you tired. Let ideas stay
awhile before you choose them, if possible. Many ideas and
opportunities will come and go, but the better ones will stay with you.
Prioritize opportunities by writing down your inner emotions about
them.
Write about an opportunity that you chased. Were you peaceful? Did if
stretch you? Why were you attracted to it?
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Express Yourself
Express yourself in ways you find enjoyable. If you are not the joke type
joking will be difficult. There are many ways to express yourself. Try
music, writing, exploring, etc. Open your mind to explore who you really
are. Ask yourself questions as to why you choose things. What takes a
lot of work and what is easy for you to do well and not get bored with it.
Many things we can do well, but we get bored quickly. In your calling,
you do things without getting bored, though they may be easy.
Creativity flows easier when you are not fighting boredom.
What creative things have you done in the past month but have not
become bored?
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What were you curious about? What did people tease you about?
Example ~ I was curious about many things. I loved science and how
things worked together. People always teased me about
being overweight. I could never communicate my ideas well
One professor encouraged me to develop my writing to
match my speaking. Understanding our strengths is
important to discover what we love to do.
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A calling make you more than feel good. It will open a sense of deep
mental creativity and satisfaction. When we are doing what we are
supposed to be doing, we are connected, joyful, expressive, loving and
purposeful. Notice times in your daily life that you feel like this.
What are you doing? Who is with you? What are you allowing?
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Turn off those things that distract you. Try your cell phone, radio, TV,
even people. People can be a distraction, though you are called to a
specific group or person. People who are not in your call zone are also
distractions. We can get stuck spending time with people who insist on
taking our time, but make us feel worn out after a short time. They are
fun in the short term, but distract us from our long-term goals. Turn
them down in your life and allow possibility in. This will be hard at first -
its easy to use these things to stop you facing things you dont want to,
or having to answer difficult questions - but consciously opting for
stillness over diversions, or emptiness over a life chock full of busy is
choosing to open a dialogue with yourself and your path.
Pay attention to what keeps coming back. When you are asked to repeat
an event, it is something you should consider carefully. Repeated
opportunities are the beginning of things to come. The things that are
always true for you or wont go away are really important in discovering
your calling. An example is story telling. A famous childrens story was
Mr. Rogers. The man who started this TV show was trained to be a
minister. Imagine if he had been just a preacher and not followed the
inner emotion to reflect better childrens programming. These recurrent
things are giving you clues as to what will really satisfy you, pay
attention to them.
people as leaders, yet shine in many other ways. You have to try and
sometimes fail to know something is the right path or not. You have to
be active in stretching your mind.
Ask yourself what you connect with every day. You may connect with
nature by having a walk. You may connect with God through a
conversation. Who and what you connect with is not as important as the
fact that you do it.
Change Routines
Change your routine. This can be hard for some of us. Change where you
have coffee, or walk instead of drive. Routines are important, but they
need to be changed, to enlarge our ideas. Change is as good as a rest.
Walking in the evening releases the stress of the day. Walk different
paths and patterns and notice the changes.
Changing yourself is often easier than your job. Which should you
change is not always an easy decision. In this situation you are assigned
to a team. One of the team members is not pulling their weight. This
happens when there is one specific person in charge most often. Now
you are in a position of power. Your perception of the persons
motivation and behavior causes you to feel angry. You decide to put a
stop to actions, using your positional authority. What would you do with
this one person?
Finding Your True North
If you choose to tell him/her directly in front of the others, you may stop
the behavior but lose all respect. If you took the person aside to see why
they do the actions assumed, you may win respect. The reaction could
be the person continues or changes with deep respect. You cannot
direct the persons reaction, but you can make decisions that will
determine the reactions by those beyond the person.
If you call a supervisor, explain your concern, and ask him for an
explanation you will be using personal power. Positional power is the
authority you receive from the office or position to which you are
appointed or elected. Personal power is the authority you command, as
a result of who you are. When personal power is used wisely, it
increases your positional power. When positional power is used wisely,
it increases your personal power. However, when either one of them is
used improperly, it reduces both your personal authority and positional
authority.
Leadership is a learned art. One of the best ways to learn this art is to
study the lives of great leaders. Observe them. Talk with them. Read
about them. Then inculcate the skills of decision making that your role
models exemplify. With experience and reflection, we can all improve
our judicious use of positional and personal power. Not only will we gain
Finding Your True North
greater satisfaction, but those we lead will also benefit from the results
of better leadership and job satisfaction.
If you are called to be a leader, you will be asked to lead. You may not
always want to lead, but the opportunity will return repeatedly. Often
the best leaders are those who do not want to lead, but are called to
lead. They are not results oriented, because results will follow naturally.
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Finding Your True North
We would all like to the win the lottery and feel the freedom of choice.
At the same time statistics say that a high number of winners are either
broke or dead in two years. Money will never bring us closer to our
calling. Neither will 1,000 gurus. However, our attitude about your work
directly affects our satisfaction and life meaning. Consider these three
orientations toward work. Which one applies to your current
employment? Each one has some basic ideas about what value you
place on your job.
Job
Individuals who fall into this category view their work as a means to an
end. They work to support their hobbies, family, or life outside work.
They prefer jobs, which do not interfere with their personal lives. They
are not as likely to have a strong connection to the workplace or their
job duties. The job is necessary to make the other parts of their life
function.
Career
An individual with a career orientation is more likely to focus on
elements related to success or prestige. This individual will be interested
in the ability to move upward and achieve the social standing. Careers
that have a clear upward ladder are appealing. For some there is
pressure from culture or family in this regard. Many students follow the
career of their test scores and not their heart or passion. At the same
time, if you put an effort into a career, give it 100% of your energy. The
problem occurs when your job becomes redundant. You get into a
routine and change becomes harder the longer you stay in your career.
VIII c. Calling
Other ideas like self-fulfillment and expression are also key ideas when
you are called to your job, not just a career or job. Sometimes you are
in the right career, but in the wrong position or company. Other times
you may accept the title, because of prestige and/or pressure from the
company or friends. The question to ask yourself is if you can truthfully
say that you can check the words ~ integral to identity, self-expression
and fulfillment ~ as part of why you are where you are.
Finding Your True North
Having short or long-term goals and paying off debt is great. A friend of
my son asked if I supported my sons investment of time and money in a
project. He even asked if I was interested in becoming a part of it. My
response was that I was not called to be in that kind of business. I had
tried it before and found that I could not be self-expressive, feel fulfilled,
or even see it as a means to an end. That is my opinion of course, but if
you qualify your choices based on those key phrases, you will make
different choices. I do have goals to reach, but they do not supersede
the call.
If you have a good title, high income, and manly toys to show your
friends, you may not be in your calling. These just show the world how
you see the world. As a pastor, I have often wondered what people
would be like without their church. If your identity is in your church, you
may feel lost. If your identity is in Christ, that is the designation of a
Christian, you will feel stable and confident. Let us take the example of
an administrative assistant:
if they reflect the way you speak. To discover your call you must
change the questions you ask and the value you give to each
decision. Each decision will draw you closer or lead you farther from
your call.
Where do you think you fall in this classification system? Take a moment
to think about how your orientation affects your motivation, your desire
to continue with your career or find a new one, and your overall
job/career satisfaction.
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=node/627
Many people want to change, but their competing desires set them up
for defeat and failure. Their claim to lack desire or discipline is simply
not true. They do not notice the effects of conflicting desires on their
habitual choices. If you have ever wanted to lose weight, passing the
sweet tray for a sweet potato may be difficult. If the doctor told you that
the potato would bring you success, and the sweet tray would
guarantee failure, you would change quickly. Your desire for success is
higher than the need for sweets. The desire for the pleasure associated
with the snack competes with the intent to eat healthy.
Finding Your True North
The strategy here is simple. When these thoughts and ideas come into
our thinking space, we challenge them. We do NOT need to agree with
them. Failure happens to most people, but it is not who we are. We
need to keep our identity higher than the failure. It needs to be the
focus point.
People commit to life changes, only to fail because they do not have the
energy to continue. Stop for a moment and write down everything that
takes your energy, both mental and physical.
_ texting my friends
_________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
________________________________________
Commit to stop doing things that just keep you busy. These are things
you do that fill time but do not help you stay focused. This could be
texting your friends, just because you have time to fill. If you change this
to something that takes less energy and helps you stay focused, you will
begin linking the energy form other parts of the day to the activity
change.
As you gain personal power use it to break other energy draining habits.
Each energy-draining habit that you break will result in more personal
power to break other habits. The key is to change one at a time. Secure
it and build barriers to keep it from becoming a problem. The more
power you recover, the faster you will be able to break other habits in
your life. In this way, the speed of change accelerates. If you stick with
the process, you can make more changes in month four than you did in
the first three months of effort.
Finding Your True North
NW NE
W Conclusion
SW SE
Finding Your True North
It took me 30+ years to begin the road of understanding what The Call
was really about. Born overseas to missionary parents, my life was full of
church. I lived and breathed the phrases and theologies of a variety of
Missions, Denominations, and Churches. The call was something
special that all Christians had, but few really understood. It was couched
in ideas like gifts and the fact that God made each of us as individuals.
In fact, many of the blogs that are religious driven begin with this basic
premise. Other, more secular blogs refer to our position in the universe
and our continued life after death. Still, the idea of finding your call
from philosophy or religion just doesnt give the whole picture.
In the beginning of this book you were tasked with writing about the
opportunities that come into your sphere of influence. This starting
point, versus the God made you special idea is a personal analysis of
your life in real time. We were born with a purpose, that is true. We can
discover this by the opportunities that come to us. There is a philosophy
called Law of Attraction. There are many seminars and books about it.
It is rather simple but simplicity is the problem. We attract what we
focus on is the core of this philosophy. It is also a truism. That is why the
first worksheet is so important, however difficult.
The idea of a call is rooted in the idea that we are not only created for
a purpose, but we find it through both our conscious and unconscious
thought scripts. From this point questions are related to our thoughts,
emotions, and attitudes that are derived from them.
On my journey many people gave me directions, but few ever made sure
I was on the right road. If you have ever been in Korea, it is like saying it
is not far and it has a red sign. I remember the first day of work in Korea.
It was 6 AM and the teacher that was taking me to my employ suggested
we take the bus. We got on bus 83, which would take us close but it
turned before we got there. Bus 82 turned the right way and stopped
almost in front of the school. At noon I was told I could go home. No
mention of which bus, but my house was just over the hill. I did
eventually get home, 2 hours later. In actual walking time it was 20
minutes had I understood the directions.
I began to set my eyes on goals and ask questions about how I was going
to reach them. I didnt need other people to tell me how I could do
something. I found people who believed in who I thought I was. I didnt
spend time with people who were more interested in challenging ideas
more than moving forward. I still had to function in my job and
relationships, but when I changed how I responded my stress level went
down.
People have told me that I dont get stressed. On the contrary, I have
learned to not let stress control my enjoyment or direction. Changing
my response to negatives allows me to move forward to a position in
which I am more comfortable.
To find your calling means that you understand: What makes you tick?
What makes you respond emotionally? How you respond to stimuli
around you? And where you find the most peace, power, and
confidence.
decisions based on your self-identity. You will gain control over your
emotions by changing your scripts. These changes can be made by YOU
alone. Others may suggest and guide, but ultimately is is your peace,
power, and confidence that matters.
References by Section
http://www.mycallingiq.com/calling-through-multiple-lenses/
Ultimate Satisfaction
Calling vs Career
http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/find-job-you-love-
and-youll-never-work-day-your-life/
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Find-Your-True-Calling-
Career-Advice#ixzz3uRS1BvMV / Oprah From the November
2009 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Find-Your-True-Calling-
Career-Advice#ixzz3uRSCIDu4 /
http://www.legendtalentmanagement.com/blog/care
er-planning/career-vs-calling-whats-the-difference/
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/07/14/caree
r-vs-calling-is-there-a-difference/
Mission Statement
http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/10-ways-to-
determine-gods-calling-in-your-life-1326623.html
christianity.about.com/od/topicalbiblestudies/a/godcalling.htm
HTTP://WWW.RELEVANTMAGAZINE.COM/NEXT/GROW/4-
STEPS-FINDING-YOUR-CALLING
Finding Your True North
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
series/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
discipline/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
humility/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
community/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
sacrifice/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
joy/
http://www.mindfithypnosis.com/who-am-i-self-identity/
http://www.mindfithypnosis.com/wp-content/uploads/MMPI-2-Test-
Online.png
http://learn-your-iq.com/career-finder-tests.html
http://www.answers.com/Q/How_would_you_determine_when
_short_term_or_long_term_goals_should_drive_a_decision
http://ezinearticles.com/?Six-Simple-Ways-to-a-Daily-Positive-
Attitude&id=4189652
http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Greg_Frost/154379
http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/personal-
power.html#ixzz3udWQYpra
Extrapolation of Questionnaire
The two areas covered are problem solving and communication. Both areas are
too broad to cover in a simple questionnaire, but the questionnaire will serve
as a benchmark for program improvement in a changing marketplace.
The title listed below has provided the base questions, which have been
adapted and/or adjusted to meet the focus of this research.
Initiative
1. When faced with new ideas I __ wait for solutions to be suggested. *
4. When faced with a challenge I use ____ of my time planning. *
6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would use is
_______ *
7. When faced with a speed challenge to solve the problem I _____________ *
9. When given a challenge I ________follow my team *
11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested _____ amount
of time into one *
14. When given a challenge I am not interested in, I ___________ *
15. I judge the value of my work by ___________ *
Finding Your True North
Critical thinking
3. If I am given incomplete information I ______ *
4. When faced with a challenge I use ____ of my time planning. *
11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested _____ amount
of time into one *
Collaboration
2. When given misleading information my reaction is __________ *
5. When faced with a challenge I use _______ trying different solutions. *
6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would use is
_______ *
7. When faced with a speed challenge to solve the problem I _____________ *
9. When given a challenge I ________follow my team *
10. When given a challenge I stick with my assignment only. *
13. When given a challenge I know a lot about, I ____________________ *
17. When given a challenge I do the __________ tasks first. *
18. When I do what I can, it is considered ___________ *
19. I __________ ask for a second opinion *
Emotional Response
2. When given misleading information my reaction is __________ *
8. When faced with a challenge I _________ *
10. When given a challenge I stick with my assignment only. *
14. When given a challenge I am not interested in, I ___________ *
15. I judge the value of my work by ___________ *
16. When other people criticize my judgment I ___________ *
Confidence
1. When faced with new ideas I __ wait for solutions to be suggested. *
6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would use is
_______ *
12. Failure is the ______ of success. *
13. When given a challenge I know a lot about, I ____________________ *
19. I __________ ask for a second opinion *
20. My opinion is ___________ important *
Finding Your True North
Each question has been given a key focus word. Each question has four (4)
choices, which have been given a value (1-4). Each question has been set into
key value group. The maximum points for each group will be different, because
the numbers of questions vary in each group. Each group has been given an
interpretation of competency (High / Medium / Low). These interpretations
will help determine the students readiness in the category of Problem-Solving.
The maximum value is 32. If a student scores higher than 28 (28~32) their
responses show that they taking initiative is a strength. These students would
be rated High.
If the student scores above 18 but below 28 (18~28) their responses would
show that they take initiative, but lack confidence in themselves and would
rely more on collaboration. They would be rated a Medium.
If a student scores over 9 but less than 18 (9~18) their responses would show
that they are hesitant at leadership, will probably need strong encouragement
to move forward, and lack discipline. Students who score Low (0~9) in their
responses show they are not competent in leadership or management. They
would perhaps be better suited for a mundane job.
Critical Thinking has the fewest assigned questions. It is however linked to all of
the groups. If a student scores 10 or higher, their scores demonstrate strong
critical thinkers. These students may score High in collaboration, but may
lack initiative. These students are planners and thinkers and may struggle with
communication of complex ideas.
If the student scores between7 and 10 their answers will demonstrate a desire
to put an effort into critical thinking, lacking confidence to take initiative or
communicate their ideas. These students would be in the Medium level of
competency.
Finding Your True North
Students who score under 7 points, or Low, in this group show they are
followers. They prefer to follow the crowd, doing what they are told and lack
maturity of character and mind to be competent.
would be one with high positive emotional support. They lack the maturity to
control their emotions well. Their level of competency would be Low
Extrapolation
Incomplete information requires a person to find the missing
information, which affects the deadline, or ignore the blanks and make
assumptions to stay on track. To demonstrate competency a student
should be careful about making assumptions. To say I assumed so I did
is not a good reason or an excuse. Therefore, the choice of look at the
given information and determine a response is the best answer. Making an
analysis of what is missing to understand the task better is most important.
Spending a lot of time analyzing will get a person bogged down and off track.
Ask colleagues for input is good, while ignoring the missing information can
create good solutions which are not required for the task. Ignoring the missing
information and moving forward is better than going in circles ending with no
solution, even a wrong one.
Key: Critical thinking Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 d, 1 a)
Extrapolation
Problem solving in a real job requires efficient use of time. The time it
takes to plan may not be a lot but some time is needed to be efficient in
resources. Our choices and habits reflect our ability to solve problems under
pressure. Spending too much time often makes for a rush in a time-sensitive
project. Spending a little time demonstrates a habit of looking at the problem
as a whole before breaking it down to create solutions. A lot of time reflects a
need to understand details, which may be important, but can also be
determined through process. Most of time planning means a rush to finish and
added stress on the team if things do not work out perfectly the first time.
Almost none shows the student rushes to get going and may use resources
unwisely, creating budget shortfalls or cost overruns due to constant
adjustments.
Key: Critical thinking / Initiative Points (4 b, 3 a, 2 c, 1 d)
Finding Your True North
Extrapolation
The selection of choices was made from a lost of theoretical approaches listed
in TEST SPECIFICATIONS FOR PROBLEM SOLVING ASSESSMENT
(Schacter/ONeil, Jr.) listed above. The systematic way of problem solving will
denote the efficiency of resources, leadership qualities, and use of time.
Exploration, extraction, simplification, and organization demonstrate a similar
view to the previous questions. A person with these habits would look at the
problem extract possible solution paths and obstacles, simplify the process to
get there, organize their time or team to achieve the solution. This is very
systematic and efficient. Other choices allow the focus to move from the goal
and possibly leave projects finished but not ready. There is no clear
communication to solve the problem.
Key: Initiative / Collaboration / Confidence Points (4 a, 3 c, 2 b, 1 d)
Extrapolation
Leading and following are both good traits. Never taking leadership
demonstrates lack of initiative, which is a vital attitude in problem solving. How
often a person consults with the team is not the focus of the question. It is
however, important to stay in touch. Working alone is a positive but the
danger is not consulting enough. Always and never are extremes. Always
denotes a total dependence on the team leaving the team to take the initiative.
Never demonstrates arrogance and boldness. The acceptance of failure and
risk, which may be unnecessary.
Key: Initiative / Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)
Finding Your True North
Extrapolation
Attitude is the focus of the question. Attitude is key to problem solving. As
noted before many people like to work alone. They want to see if their ideas
work before exposing a failure. Communication with others during the process
of problem solving is crucial. Communication can refocus arising problems
without delaying the project. Why bother others shows an attitude of being
respectful, but ignores the reality of how valuable other input can be. Disagree
is a good choice but does not indulge in anything but simple disagreement.
Agree is the same as simplicity is not what is needed in problem solving.
Key: Emotional Response / Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 d, 2 b, 1 a)
11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested _____
amount of time into one *
a. a lot of time
b. a little time
c. zero
d. a set time
Extrapolation
Problem solving requires initiative. Taking the first steps to understand
the problem gives more value to the discussion than just talking about it.
Spending a little time will allow ideas to develop for input. Having a set time
allows for good time management, but this does not imply that ideas are ready
to be discussed. A lot of time can be great, but often the investment could be
invested more effectively with more input. Asking questions from the outset
often complicates the problem. A bit of knowledge adds to the discussion for
clarification.
Key: Initiative / Critical thinking Points (4 b, 3 d, 2 a, 1 c)
Finding Your True North
Sequence demonstrates a person has made a strategy for solving the problem.
Choosing the most difficult tasks first allow for a more relaxing finish. A
possible problem will be the time allotment, which can be critical in a time
sensitive project. Choosing the easy solutions first often disappoints and
creates an emotional low when the more difficult tasks are in front of the
person. Often there is no only way solution. Persons can always choose their
personal style to solve the problem.
Key: Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)
Extrapolation
Asking opinions is important in problem solving. Asking for a second
opinion constantly will create stress. Initiative is important and asking for a
second opinion when an initiative has been taken is important. Never asking
for opinions demonstrates a persons lack of perspective of the problem.
Creative solutions come after initiative and process has begun. Rarely asking
for second opinions can lead to limited solutions.
Key: Confidence / Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 a, 2 d, 1 b)
Extrapolation
Equality and democracy in a team is important. It is equally important that
opinions and responses are reviewed based on a persons experience and
knowledge. Personal opinions are important. Equally important is a good idea
when a person has been asked for input. Each person has their own view, way
of thinking and processing, and ideas. Not very important denotes a person
who does not value themselves or their team. The opposite of not very is most
important. If the persons opinions are most important, it could lead to missed
opportunities in solving the problem.
Key: Confidence Points (4 a, 3 c, 2 b, 1 a)
Finding Your True North
There are many books offered by the authors in the references. Here are
a few more.
First, Break All the Rules By Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman
In First, Break All the Rules, Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman of the
Gallup Organization present the remarkable findings of their massive in
depth study of great managers. Buckingham and Coffman explain how
the best managers select an employee for talent rather than for skills or
experience; how they set expectations', how they motivate people by
building on each person's unique strengths; and, finally, how great
managers find the right fit for each person, not the next rung on the
ladder. First, Break All The Rules provides vital performance and career
lessons for managers at every level.
Finding Your True North
This book is based on the idea that we can empirically study quality of
life and make cross-society comparisons of subjective well-being (SWB).
A potential problem in studying SWB across societies is that of cultural
relativism: if societies have different values, the members of those
societies will use different criteria in evaluating the success of their
society. By examining, however, such aspects of SWB as whether people
believe they are living correctly, whether they enjoy their lives, and
whether others important to them believe they are living well, SWB can
represent the degree to which people in a society are achieving the
values they hold dear. The contributors analyze SWB in relation to
money, age, gender, democracy, and other factors. Among the
interesting findings is that although wealthy nations are on average
happier than poor ones, people do not get happier as a wealthy nation
grows wealthier.
Finding Your True North
By Laurence Steinberg
Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life
By Tom Rath
Tom Rath, author of five influential bestsellers, reveals the three keys
that matter most for our daily health and well-being, as well as our
engagement in our work. Drawing on the latest and most practical
research from health, psychology, and economics, this book focuses on
changes we can make to create better days for ourselves and others. Are
You Fully Charged? will challenge you to stop pursuing happiness and
start creating meaning instead, lead you to rethink your daily
interactions with the people who matter most, and show you how to
put your own health first in order to be your best every day.
science and useful tools for improving life, relationships, and overall
mental health.
From the mundane to the most heroic feats, this book synthesizes
recent advances in our understanding of the psychology of courageous
actions and related pro-social behaviors.
Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness By Tal Ben-
Shahar
The Battle for Human Nature: Science, Morality, and Modern Life
By Barry Schwartz
dispenses surprising and practical advice for making the world a more
forgiving place.
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s_category_tid_1=133