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NW NE

SW SE

Finding your True North SW SE

Discovering how to function with


PEACE, POWER, and CONFIDENCE
The Calling
Paul R. Friesen (DBS)
Finding Your True North

Contents

Preface

Introduction

l. Defining Calling
II. Ultimate Satisfaction
III. Calling or Career
IV. Mission Statement
V. Components of the Call
VI. Components of Self Identity
VII. Dreams vs. Aspirations
VIII. Job: Career or Calling
Finding Your True North

Preface

Understanding our Call in life often seems like an impossible dream.


We have so many expectations of what will happen when we finally
discover it.

As you read this book, you will find several repeated ideas that are
crucial to this process. It is truly a process of introspection and reflection.
The first is that you need to be you. When we join relationships we get
entwined with emotions that become a distraction. We seek to please
others rather than stay true to ourselves. This takes strength of both
character and mind, but it will build relationships that help enlarge who
you are.

In this book, you will also find the idea of sacrifice. Self-serving sacrifice
may be nice and applauded, but it will not give you any direction to
understanding your calling. Rather, sacrifice is a positive when
considering objects, relationships, and other distractions, which we may
enjoy, but not positive influences to the peace, power, and confidence
we aspire to.

In my journey to understanding my calling, I had to make choices in


relationships, or the importance of relationships, based on their
influence on me. I had to move alone in a direction because it was the
path to achieve that to which I was called.

This path to understanding took me many years. It doesnt have to take


that long. It all depends on how honest you want to be with yourself.
The worksheets and ideas you write are yours. Some of these will be
very personal and trusting them with others may not be possible at this
time. Part of the struggle is to let go of the emotions attached to these
issues of trust. At the same time, to share them with people whom you
trust can be a deep healing experience.

Once I began to walk down the path of self-discovery, many decisions I


had made could not be turned around, or negated. I had to live with the
Finding Your True North

choices I had made. At the same time, they became the stepping stones
to my direction and understanding.

There were many cycles that kept going round and round leaving me in
a deeper hole. Once the cycles were slowed, better choices made, the
road became much smoother, but still not perfect. As I saw life clearer,
opportunities came my way. This helped me set a direction, find better
influences, and develop my gifts. There are far better people in the
world, but I am the best of me for the people who come into my small
corner of the world. I cannot change the world, but I can impact the
small piece around me

The idea of being called is to understand its two basic components.


The first is to understand the message you have to give. The second is to
understand the people or person you are to focus on. This is followed by
an understanding of how your gift fits into this circle of influence. Get
these three functioning together and you will experience a peace you
cannot explain, a power of influence that flows, and a confidence that
people will be attracted to.

My hope is that this book will help you see life with more direction, be
less stressful, and give you the confidence to move forward by making
better choices, impacting the world that comes to you.

Paul R. Friesen
Finding Your True North

Introduction
The idea of having a specific life call is based on Christian philosophy
and ideals. This is not to say that there are not secular ideas, which use
the idea, but they often use different terms. Related terms would focus
on self-image, or how a person views their spiritual self-interaction with
a physical environment or entity. For many the idea of calling is a
culmination of factors including culture and academics mixed with
aspirations and dreams. Though this is partially true, understanding the
common threads of each of these areas will help in determining an
individuals life mission.

Many courses help students understand themselves better, often


leaving them to struggle in search of their calling. This is unfortunate,
as the idea of having a specific call defined differently, depending on
the perspective you are considering.

Many times the synchronization of, what we are good at and the
opportunities that seem to be open do not function well together. The
question then becomes, If I am called to do something why dont the
opportunities come to me so I can function better?

It is a good question and understanding what calling is all about is


important. It is more than understanding what a person does well.
Rather, it includes things like how we communicate who we are. When I
was younger, many people knew my father. He excelled in his job as a
missionary. He could sell literature better than most. Having taken many
tests to determine my own character and personality I learned nothing
new. I had many similar characteristics of my father, but I was different.
I was not a good salesperson.

Some would say that my calling is a teacher, because that is what I am


professionally. I have all the talent to be a teacher. Some of interpreters
of the tests would recommend teaching s a professional choice. My
personal understanding of calling goes beyond these ideas.
Finding Your True North

Schuster would suggest that people often do not honor the calling we
turn it into ambition. This means that we ignore all the other
relationships that a call is dependent on. We end up placing our
individual call above all else, making it more important than anything
and anyone else. (Schuster: 05.30.11)

To understand calling as only a culmination of common ideas and


backgrounds leaves one element out of the mix. That is, how we fit into
the structure of the job we chose to pursue. Usually a calling is narrower
than most people think. A calling is not a general mix of common ideas.
It is very specific and should be considered the center point from which
all other energies flow.

When you have a volcano erupting, the pressure and focused energy
result in a flow, which follows out from the energy center. Therefore, to
understand what calling is, requires more than just an understanding
of ones self, but how that interacts with all other energies in life.

In this book you will be challenged to answer questions about ones self,
culture, family history, and communication. Each challenge will help
understand you better, and narrow your energy to a more focused
point. You will be asked to prioritize ideas in your life and goals. Often
reorganization of priorities will enhance relationships, give you more
energy, and bring new highs to the satisfaction with life.
Finding Your True North

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W l. Defining Calling

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Finding Your True North

Calling can be a confusing term which some equate to career and others to a
religious vocation. For today, I thought Id share some basic definitions from a
few different authors perspectives.

According to John P. Schuster in Answering Your Call, calls are invitations


from life to serve a cause. He writes, A call is the impulse to move ahead in a
meaningful way. Calls are the source of lasting creativity in our lives. (qtd
form mycallingIq.com 05/13/11)

Schuster uses several key ideas in understanding call. The first is invitation
from life. Things do not invite, people invite. This means that a being outside
of us has invited us to participate in life. To Christians this person is God. To
others it could be a spirit or other entity they consider a highest value.

The second idea is to serve as a cause. This means there is a purpose to the
invitation and a focal point. The outcome of this focus is lasting creativity. The
idea of lasting is a residual energy that stays with you. Lasting also implies a
continuity of flow from the focal point.

Our calling is to first move to the focal point, from which our creativity can flow
easily and effortlessly. This means that if we expend our energy moving
towards anything we should ask questions about the outcome not just the
income.

For a more in-depth discussion, please refer to ~ Answering Your Call: A Guide
for Living Your Deepest Purpose.

About what do you care?

You may care about your family, friends, or keeping your job. That is not the
focus of this question, as they are natural to us as humans. To answer this
question you should consider ideas where you would use your energy, not
necessarily relationships.

A personal example is I like to help people. I am not always concerned about


the pay or cost. I am more concerned about the other persons achievement.
Some people struggle with this and think that I am rich, but I am not. Therefore,
one part of my focal point is a place where I can see people moving forward in
their life.
Finding Your True North

Causes do you want to serve?

This is a bit harder to answer. I do not like to serve many causes. I find that my
strengths are often not needed or I am not listened to. This lack of affirmation
makes me choose carefully the places to spend my energy. I do not join
political or view humanitarian causes because I think they use too much of my
money for administration. Therefore, causes that I would serve are those,
which have a greater percentage of their monies going to the outcome not
high-paid administration.

Invitation from life?

Perhaps this is a tough question to answer quickly. I have had invitations to do


many things. Some people have criticised me for giving my energy to various
projects. Some have very minimal value or income for me. At the same time
they are invitations that keep me focused on the primary focal point, from
which the outcome is my creativity. This is the ultimate measuring stick when
thinking about an invitation from life.

Os Guinness, author of The Call, defines calling as the truth that God calls us
to himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and
everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out
as a response to his summons and services . . . Calling is the ultimate why for
living in all of history. He goes on to say that, we are not primarily called to
do something or go somewhere, we are called to Someone. (Guinness:
mycallingiq.com)

Schuster would see call related to serving a cause, Guinness understands


call to be focused on a person. Ultimately, choosing to serve a cause will
interact with people. This is a broad understanding to bring the two definitions
together.

For many years I used my energy to find the relationships that would affirm me,
my ideas, and my history. In the end I burned out. To help people was my drive
and I sought the jobs, people, and causes that I thought I could help. I ignored
my own health in my zeal to help others.

To understand the idea that Guinness is saying is to challenge what I had been
doing. When I let people come to me, I was more effective and had more
Finding Your True North

energy. When the focal point was understood to be the point from which the
outcome was my creativity, the people to whom I was called came to me.

The two definitions are not contrary to each other. Rather, Schuster focuses on
the choices we must make in determining where we should spend our energy.
Guinnesss definitions lean toward the relationship connection. We cannot
serve ALL people. We should choose the jobs that move us closer to reaching
our person focal point.

Questions for further discussion

What do you think of the idea that a calling implies someone calling you?

What do you think of the idea that a calling implies you being called to a
specific person or people group?

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Finding Your True North

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Worksheet 1
In the beginning or any journey, it is good to think about goals and directions.
The following questions and statements will help you focus on where you are
in life and your perceptions of opportunities currently open to choose. Take
time to give long thoughtful answers as you start the journey. I have started it
for you.

1. What is my primary goal in life?


2. How does my goal fit with the opportunities that open in my life?
3. When I take opportunities fail /succeed because __________
4. Which opportunities affirm and value who I think I am the most?
5. Which opportunities do not affirm and value who I think I am the most?
6. Which of the above do I choose most often?

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Finding Your True North

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Worksheet 2
I am good at . Opportunities that I feel
come to me
1. Creating new ideas for are.
problems.

To solve problems or I feel great,


2. Leadership. I am a good leader create solutions for because it affirms
determined by how people react teachers. who I am and
to me. where I fit in a
larger picture.
I am not chosen first
3. ________________________ for leadership, but I feel valued as
___________________________ often designated to member, but do
___________________________ lead by the team. not expect the
others to expend
4. ________________________ the same focus
___________________________ and energy.
___________________________

5. ________________________
___________________________
___________________________
Finding Your True North

Opportunities that open in my life that Why they do not fit and how I can still
do NOT fit who I am are participate.
Social teams for relaxation I interact well with people and have a lot
if integrity. At the same time functioning
as a part of the group, and not as leader,
creates a lot of stress. I can still
participate by making suggestions or
excelling in the social interaction, but it
~~~~ take s a lot of mental and emotional
___________________________ energy.
___________________________
___________________________ ~~~~
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Finding Your True North

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W II. Ultimate
Satisfaction

SW SE
Finding Your True North

A calling is something that comes naturally. Its something you do


because you love to do it. As the first worksheets infer, the
opportunities that come to you naturally are the ones you will function
best. They are not always the ones we would choose because they do
not offer money, status, or fame. The key is the feeling of satisfaction
that you have and are left with, after you have been there.

Ask yourself questions about which job you would go to again, place
your live the rest of your life, people who you would have around you.
Answer these and you will find a common thread. The thread is
ultimate satisfaction.

What do you do that is intrinsically satisfying?

The use of intrinsic is different from some outward expression. At


times, I get lost in my mind. I let my thoughts wander to places where I
have had great satisfaction. Often, it is triggered by an event or
something I see. (A moment of reflection from a stimulus.) This is what
we mean by intrinsic. This is not a calling, but perhaps an intuitive
notion that the calling is real. A Calling is something that we have
inside of us and may not be explainable to those outside of us, because
it is this sense of satisfaction that only we can share.

If you have ever been with a group of people that you enjoy being with.
At some point, you just relax and enjoy them because there is an air that
they accept you for who you are. Or, you and a friend see something at
the same time and think the same thoughts. Without speaking or
interaction there is a sense of camaraderie that only you can understand.
Others are bewildered at your smile or smirk. That is the intrinsic

In that moment of reflection the sense of emotional satisfaction and


enjoyment is very powerful. While others view my past or my family
history, they rarely understand the stimulus to this moment of reflection.
We all have our own perception of truth. There may be similarities, but
nothing totally equal.
Finding Your True North

Think about what you perceive you are good at and what you are
passionate about. This intrinsic sense of peace and satisfaction creates a
passion that goes beyond just being good at something. It is perhaps
better said in the idea of being natural. The naturalness of what you
do takes a minimum of energy and the results are empowering. This is a
natural attraction flowing from your inner self. Your calling is this way.
You do not work toward it, but discover it through choices driven by the
passion to satisfaction.

I do not like reading because I am a slow reader. I am not a good writer,


but I am getting better at it. I am, however, good at creating ideas or
solutions to problems. This will give me a hint at what kind of job I
should consider. By choosing jobs that allow me to be creative people
do not focus on my weakness as a writer or reader, but on my strength
as a speaker and leader.

This is the essence of the calling. The distraction from my weakness to


my strengths. Over the years I have developed many strategies to mask
my weaknesses as a reader. Writing is harder to mask, but with
creativity this also can be refocused to the creative not the writing.

I enjoy driving. I tried driving a truck as a job, but my mind went crazy. I
am told I am (could be) a good salesperson, because tests show I have
an aptitude to deal with people. Though I enjoy sales, I am usually not
very successful. Having an altruistic background, the benefit to the
person is more satisfying than the financial return. This does not bode
well for me in a direct sales capacity. At the same time, people feel very
comfortable around me. This may mean I am a good pastor, but not a
good preacher. The creativity and gentle character brings me closer to
my calling. I have the highest satisfaction when I can do both of these.
The problem is it is almost never possible.

When we consider our calling, tests and aptitudes will help, but only
marginally. Some people can play music, while others can compose
music. Many leaders are the hidden because they do not push their way
to the front. Other leaders attract followers without too much effort.
Finding Your True North

This is often the problem in business. A father builds a company only to


have it fall apart when the next generation takes over. Most businesses
fail in the generational change because the people 2nd generation does
not have the calling of the father. The second generation has dreams
and newer technology, but not the drive and understanding that the
previous generation had.

There are people however, that seem to be able to turn everything into
gold. These are people with a calling to business. They do not need
degrees or experience. They just have an intrinsic knowledge of what to
do. They do not know the theory nor have read books, but are much
better than those who do.

The call, is driven by passion. Many times people are not passionate
about anything in todays culture. Passion is considered a romantic
attraction. These are not similar in any way. Passion is a consuming fire.
It is what we desire to do as soon and as often as possible. It is what we
talk about all the time. It consumes our energy. Passion will help give
direction in our search for a calling, but it is only a road to follow in
your search. It will help you choose your education and career, but not
the people to whom you are called.

The weakness of passion is that it drives us to make poor decisions. The


calling is about ultimate satisfaction, whereas passion is only about
satisfaction. Emotion drives passion is, while the calling is the place I
never want to leave. The fire of passion will never be satisfied so will
never be in balance. The calling will be the place where ultimate
satisfaction results in total balance.
Finding Your True North

Worksheet
Which job you would go to again?
Why would you like to return to it? List at least 3 explaining why.
1. _____________________

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

2. _____________________

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

3. _____________________

___________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

Which place would you like to live the rest of your life? (From your past)

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

Who would you like to have around you? List their names and why you
would choose them?
Finding Your True North

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W
III. Calling vs. Career

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Finding Your True North

Jrgen Sundberg, the owner of the Undercover Recruiter blog reads


Find a job that you love and you will never have to work a day in your
life. The idea that you will never have to work is not what this implies.
Rather, it is the sense of fulfillment that gives the sense that you are not
working.

Sundberg asks questions about what you would do if you were a


millionaire. Being rich means you have to fill your time doing things.
Perhaps that is why most lottery winners end up poor or depressed.
Money cannot fill the emptiness you get after you have spent your time
doing nothing. Neither can your call be found in the pursuit of it. It is a
temporary fix to a soul problem.

Another helpful way to understand calling is to define what it is not.


Paula McGee takes this route in her article Calling vs. Career. She
explains that calling is who you are, but a career is what you do. A
calling is what you would do for free. A career is what they have to pay
you do. She sums up her definition of calling as, that which the
Creator sent you to the planet to do. It is your purpose in lifeyour gift
to the world. If you choose your calling you will find a job that you love
and as the saying goes, Find a job that you love and you will never have
to work a day in your life.'

If you could give one gift to the world, what would it be? As mentioned
earlier I have tried several different jobs. These career choices were
determined through a bank of tests. Testing may help you discover your
passion but not your calling.

The quote at the beginning of this chapter is true. If you have a job that
you love to do you will never work a day in your life. That is because you
will be stimulated and have your energy renewed every day.

There is no job to die for, I tell my children. This basic philosophy is a


rule that will ring true in any career. We all need jobs or a way to finance
our life. If we wander aimlessly on the road of life we will be battered in
every storm.
Finding Your True North

I chose a career of preaching because it consumed me. Am I a good


preacher? Perhaps there are many better than I. I know there are many
better than I. At the same time, if I am called to a certain group, it is a
place will return to. When you are called, it can be a career choice. At
the same time, it is often more a place or group of people that makes
the rest of the world feel more in balance.

The conundrum is this. If preaching is what I am called to do, why


dont I become one? I wonder if my calling is correct. If I am called
to preach as a career, and I am called to a certain group as mentioned
before, I have to find the match or I get depressed.

Finding a match is not always easy. Reflecting on your personal history is


crucial to this. If I was to look at my family history, there is a slight
chance of finding either my career or group of persons. If I was to
consider my personal history, I can find them easier.

My background is not in the country of my parents. Therefore, a group


outside of my country or heritage circle may be where I should go. My
parents are missionaries. My grandfather was a preacher/salesperson.
My paternal grandfather was a farmer. I am not a farmer, but I consider
calling to be preaching/teaching. To be in my parents country was
frustrating which indicated that my calling was not there. Preaching I
can do anywhere, but not everybody will listen or respond. My history
is not in my parents country, so it is natural that I struggle there. This is
not always the case, but it is common enough with third-culture-kids.
(TCKs).

Through an analysis of my history, I can find direction to finding both


career and calling. When these questions arent answered, or a balance
not found, you will end up with a career that is stressful. In a leadership
questionnaire I designed, the interpretation of the answers gives the job
environment that fits the person. This was designed specifically to help
students, or those who answered the questions, make better career
choices. When you choose a company in an area of your study, finding
one that has an environment in which your communication matches
Finding Your True North

theirs will enable you to have that sense of satisfaction that other
choices would not have. It is not just a career, but a match of your inner
person with the companies inner environment.

To answer the question at the beginning of this unit, I would give the gift
of creativity. I am not an artist or a wordsmith, but I am creative in
finding solutions to problems and issues. How would you answer the
question? Spend some time this week thinking about what you would
say in response to each of these questions and share an answer in the
comments section. Id love to hear your thoughts.
Finding Your True North

Worksheet Questionnaire / Competency Communication

This questionnaire will focus on a student's ability to communicate their ideas.


This questionnaire will also consider emotional responses as communicative
factors in competency.

1. When faced with new ideas I __ wait for solutions to be suggested. *


always
sometimes
usually
never
2. When given misleading information my reaction is __________ *
anger
"Let's find the truth!"
"It's not my responsibility"
"It was a miscommunication."
3. If I am given incomplete information I ______ *
spend a lot of time analyzing what is missing.
ask my colleagues.
look at the given information and determine a response.
ignore the information.
4. When faced with a challenge I use ____ of my time planning. *
a lot
a little
most
almost none
5. When faced with a challenge I use _______ trying different solutions. *
a lot of time
minimal time
a set amount of time
a varied amount of time
Finding Your True North

6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would


use is _______ *
(1) Exploration (2) Extraction (3) Simplification
(4) Organization
(1) Extraction (2) Exploration (3) Organization
(4) Simplification
(1) Simplification (2) Exploration (3) Extraction
(4) Organization
(1) Organization (2) Exploration (3) Extraction
(4) Simplification
7. When faced with a speed challenge to solve the problem I
_________________ *
ignore my team.
work alone communicating only solutions.
list all the solutions, designate work to teammates, help
teammates who need ideas.
list all the solutions, communicate them with colleagues, stay
only on my designated work.
8. When faced with a challenge I _________ *
withdraw
separate the task into pieces
ask colleagues
wait for a better one.
9. When given a challenge I ________follow my team *
always
often
never
like to work alone but
Finding Your True North

10. When given a challenge I stick with my assignment only. *


Agree
Disagree
Communication with others is crucial.
Why bother others when my work needs to be finished?
11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested
________ amount of time into one *
a lot of time
a little time
no time
a set time
12. Failure is the ______ of success. *
end
beginning
a speed bump
takes away
13. When given a challenge I know a lot about I ____________________ *
rush to finish
consult my team more
consult my team less
I take leadership and designate work to my team
14. When given a challenge I am not interested in I ___________ *
put it on the back burner to do later.
give all the work to my teammates
see it as a new challenge
dont do it and wait for a more interesting challenge. .
Finding Your True North

15. I judge the value of my work by ___________ *


its effectiveness.
my happiness.
other people's praise.
the reaction/ comments I get about how easy or hard it is to
understand.
16. When other people criticize my judgment I ___________ *
withdraw
see it as a challenge to do better
become angry but smile outwardly
consider all criticism as valuable
17. When given a challenge I do the __________ tasks first. *
easy
hard
sequence
none of the above
18. When I do what I can it is considered ___________ *
a finished project
time for coffee
time for collaboration
time to move to the next project
19. I __________ ask for a second opinion *
always
never
most often
rarely
Finding Your True North

20. My opinion is ___________ important *


very
not very
equally
most

***** To help you understand how to make sense of this questionnaire refer
to the Extrapolation and Interpretation in the Appendices section. You
can work through to understand the job or Company you would work
best in.
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W IV. Mission Statement

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Finding Your True North

What would you consider your purpose in life?

To have an understanding of where should be going is an advantage to


understanding your calling There are differences, but together they
give the best understanding. This can be liberating for people who are
happily employed. The problem for many of us is that we don't know
what job we're supposed to do. As a result, we are still waiting to learn
who we should be. In other words, we function in jobs that pay us, but
do not stimulate or energize us. Over time we get bored and look for
this stimulation outside of work. This, in turn, complicates our job
situation because we are distracted and unfulfilled.

The idea that we have missed out on our true callingthat somehow we
ought to have intuited what we should be doing with our lives long
before we finished our degrees, started families, and advanced through
the rankstorments us. This notion, however, can be an illusion. The
term calling came into circulation in a Christian context during the
medieval period to describe the abrupt imperative people might
encounter to devote themselves to Jesus' teachings. Now a secularized
version has survived, which is prone to give us an expectation that our
lifes meaning might, at some point, be revealed in a ready-made and
decisive form, rendering us permanently immune to confusion, envy,
and regret.

The term calling, is used most commonly in church circles. It is often


defined as - the life direction you should pursue. The implication is that
you are most influential in a certain position.

When using the term calling we will define it as the bridge between
people. It functions best with your personal mission statement. There
are many leaders, who are not born to lead and struggle with fulfillment.
There are others, who follow quietly but desire to be leaders. They are
called, but no one is calling.

Many things make up calling. Just like the challenge to discover our
personal mission statement, we should ask ourselves similar questions.
Finding Your True North

Our family history, as noted in section 3 is important. We cannot ignore


what has gone behind, but we should not dwell on it.

Developing our mission statement helps us understand our purpose and


goals. These are ideas we can see and check off when achieved.
Leadership is a bit more abstract , but still very measurable. The calling
is less measurable, but has emotional measurements that can be felt
inside a person. .

A calling is not measured by position or title, but how and where you
function best. It is empowering, defining how your mind and emotion
work together. It is not changeable and often missed in pursuit of other
controlling factors in our life. If a person peruses through various blogs
the common thread is that a calling is from birth.

Many unrelated ideas such as gifts and talents are somewhat linked to a
calling. We should be careful not to confuse the issues related to the
words, as we throw them around. Gifts or talents are inherent traits.
These are strengths, which we have a natural tendency. A gift, as
referenced in scripture, is a God given empowerment that functions only
in a relationship with God. The number of gifts may be disputed, but
the power and relationship is not. A calling is related to these, only if
you consider the dimension of function. When we refer to calling, it is
much more than a natural ability. It is a point of reference where our life
runs the smoothest. It is a drive, but not like money or power, but a
drawing to a point of ultimate peace. Money and power are most often
negatives, whereas calling is all about peace, out of which comes
power and confidence. These may bring financial freedom, but this is
neither a guarantee nor expectation. The expectation is to experience
an energy that no money, position, or power, can give a person.

A mission statement clarifies the reasons you do what you do. It is a


point to which a person refers when they need to make a decision and
have too many options. A mission statement clarifies the options and
choices. Each choice we make should keep these goals as their point of
reference.
Finding Your True North

An architect can design a beautiful house. Designs are beautiful, but are
they realistic or just workable theories. A mission statement helps a
person see reality clearly. The time elements are set but adjustable.
Each element can be broken down to bite-size pieces. The mission
statement keeps us on a track for success and empowerment, but it is
not a calling.

A Christian Perspective

From a Christian view the calling is based primarily on an


understanding of scriptural commands. These commands made by God,
or Christ, are understood to be the call to obedience from which comes
our security, peace, power, and confidence to move forward in life.

The difference between calling and a mission statement is that God is


proposed to be the initiator of the calling. Calling is very specific to the
person and has a specific function and people group or person related to
it.

A mission statement is a discovery of who we are and our thoughts of


the future. A mission statement that does not line up with the calling
may be a success, as far as reaching the goal is considered, but not give
a person the peace and empowerment that the calling does. Many
people reach their goals, but desire more and readjust their goals.
Others find their mission statement to be too strenuous and adjust it. To
function in your calling leaves one with no such thirst for more. When
you function in your calling other stressors in life are of no concern.
There are no dreams to chase, no distractions to worry about.

There are distractions all the time. To pursue them takes energy and
exhaustion. Choosing to adjust a mission statement to meet goals as
they develop is important. To function in your calling will make your
choices easier, because it is a feeling that you never want to lose. The
following people write that God needs to be the center of your life to
make this calling work.
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Jack Zavada defines Calling as A calling is God's personal, individual


invitation to carry out the unique task he has for you.". This definition is
in contrast to other ideas related to or defined as vocation, ministry and
career. Zavada would view a calling as - specific to who you are as a
person and how you can function or perform at an optimum energy
level, with the highest level of satisfaction, experiencing less stress.

Dr John Piper writes on his blog Crosswalk.com:


Nevertheless our calling can be profoundly
and durably sure in our own heart. It is the
work of God to bring our heart to a point of
conviction that, all things considered,
including Scripture, this path is the path of
obedience. The conviction is not infallible,
but when it is of God, it brings
peace. (crosswalk.com)

LAUREN DALESSANDRO writes in a RELEVANT magazine article, Before


you can begin to understand who you are, you must have a
revelation of who God is. (OCTOBER 22, 2012) Calling is initiated by
God, from this authors point of view. When have this revelation, we can
discover out true meaning in life.

To understand the idea of calling from a Christian view God must be the
center of everything we do. He initiates the process of learning. The
understanding is a process of maturation of a relationship. This does not
mean that old Christians have a better understanding. Many people
never mature in relationships. They adhere to the traditions and rest on
them instead of changing.

Dick Innes is quoted on the blog LiveYourCalling.com, The only way to


find the ultimate purpose of your life is by responding to God's call to
enter into a personal relationship with him.
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In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren writes:

You were made by God and for God - and until


you understand that, life will never make sense. It
is only in God that we discover our origin, our
identity, our meaning, our purpose, our
significance, and our destiny. Every other path
leads to a dead end. God created you and accepts
you no matter what you have ever done or failed
to do.

Worksheet

1. What people are you most attracted to? Why?

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2. Our history plays a large part in our calling. What jobs or


strengths does your family history have?

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3. What terms do we use to measure their or our success?

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4. What distracts us from achieving success?

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Put the ideas together! (Attractions +Your idea + family +


measurement + distractions)

What ideas are similar? Write these down and look for links.

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Finding Your True North

NW NE

W V. Components of
Calling

SW SE
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Following in our ancestors footsteps can be an easy way to sense our


call. At the same time, many of us are not called to the same people,
or are gifted in different areas. Most of the time there are elements of
our past to guide us. In my fathers family, there are many carpenters,
teachers, farmers, and business people. There are even a couple of
missionaries. On my maternal side, I do not know a lot about them
except that they are very good artists. My grandfather was an itinerant
salesperson and preacher. He was a bit radical preaching in the bars and
not the church. The elements I have are a combination of all of these. I
am not a gifted artist, carpenter, farmer, or businessperson. The
components listed reflect an introverted view of what the calling is.

Vision is about how you view yourself in the future. Achieving something is the
plan. It is time oriented.

Time is not important in this box.

My vision is I will achieve _________ by (doing)


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Vision

Vision is a part of a mission statement. The vision in a calling focuses on how


you see yourself achieving your goals. You envision how you would function in
a job or specific position. Visualizing is a part of any successful person. It is
easy to blow a word like vision out of proportion. It sounds big and is what
high-level leaders talk about. Many times our vision lacks clarity. Having a
vision for our lives can be intimidating because we are not sure what vision is
all about. Lets take a look at a definition of a vision statement (thanks
Wikipedia!):
Finding Your True North

A Vision statement outlines what the organization (or


person) wants to be, or how it wants the world in
which it operates to be. It concentrates on the future.
It is a source of inspiration. It provides clear decision-
making criteria. A Vision statement defines the
purpose or broader goal for being in existence and can
remain the same for decades if crafted well.

Notice how vision starts with who you want to be, not what you will achieve.
Who you become is more important than what you do with your life, but what
you do will influence who you become.

An example of a vision statement could be as basic as this one from Dr. Randall
Hansen, the webmaster at Quintcareers.com, To touch the lives of as many
people as possible millions and millions empowering them to achieve
personal and career happiness and success. Notice how this simple statement
could be lived-out in a wide variety of ways. A vision statement does not set
your life in cement; it just helps you visualize what you are aiming for. This
vision is vague, but it is a good start to understanding call. Your call is
about impacting people. How many people is undetermined.

In a sales training program I took many years ago, it was suggested that each of
us knows 250 people. If this were true if we impacted 250 people we could
easily reach millions. Of those 250 x 250 people what impact would we have?

My uncle Alfred began a Bible program in schools many years ago. He did it in
the winter and had minimal support. His vision was to have a program in all the
country schools in his area. That was in the 60s. I met a person a couple of
years ago who said she was a student of his. His vision impacted may students,
but at the same time, the impact was long term. Bible classes are no longer in
schools, but the impact continues to change lives. Vision is about seeing how
what you will impact others. Vision and call come together at this vortex. At
this vortex, the maximum impact on the world around you occurs.

Vision is why we work on self awareness knowing ourselves helps us to


develop a true vision for our life comes out of our values, gifts, passion and
talent. We naturally have some kind of life vision. We do not always articulate
it clearly, because we are too busy or distracted with daily life. Clarifying your
vision is an important part of your calling. Why? Because it helps you live out
Finding Your True North

what you truly value. Theres a reason people who write down their goals
achieve them at significantly higher rates than those who dont. Vision allows
us to pursue those things that are in line with our values and the direction we
want to go while saying no to those things that are not.

A mission statement is much more precise than vision. Both have goals, but
vision will focus on our values while driven by the directives of the mission
statement. Calling and Vision could really be considered two sides of the
same coin. Calling is about hearing. Vision is about seeing.

Feeling

What parts of my vision make me feel Whats your vision today or this
important here and now? week?
Where do you feel compelled to go?
To answer this question reflect on (direction)
ideas that have an emotional tie to
At times, our sense will compel us to
them. Perhaps words like reflection
move in a direction. It is
and relaxation. unexplainable. You should follow this
lead, even though you may have
questions.
Your ideas here Your ideas here
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What are you called to in the moment?

To answer this question, focus on more than the act of doing, but on the
sense of direction itself. Focus on both the end goal. Ideas like I am
called to go to Home-Plus. In a calling the answer is often not given. As
a facilitator, I am called to go somewhere, only to meet a person I can
listen to or give advice. We have not made a plan to meet, but we both
responded to our calling.

Whats your vision just for today or this week?

To answer this question visualize the process not just the goals. Ask
yourself how it will bring a stronger sense of peace or direction to your
life. Visualize people coming to you (if you are called to people), or a
project proposal, etc.

Discipline

Discipline is another component of calling. There is no sequence of


components. They are all equally important. Calling requires us to make
choices about what we love and want to pursue (vision). Once we have
decided to follow our calling, actually doing what we love requires great
discipline.

There are many distractions, and at times ambition and profit gets in the way.
Another element is resistance. Recognizing resistance is the first part of the
battle. I used to think if I loved talking to people so much it should be easy to
do all the time. My wife, would get frustrated when I talked to people I did not
know and wondered why it was so hard to get me away from them. If I was
really called to people talking to them should just come naturally, shouldnt it?
This confusion with who I am and whom I let people see was in conflict. People
give me energy, but interacting with people draws that energy. A bit confusing,
but when it is understood that in that crowd do people are the ones I am
called to. I had a good vision of my calling, but misappropriated how to
achieve it. When I stopped chasing the crowd and focused on who entered my
circle of influence I was much more effective.

The resistance kicks in whenever we run to do what we love. We may


experience a sudden tiredness before going out; have to do urgent errands
Finding Your True North

that distract from writing or painting, or trying to compose a song on your new
piano. Artists know a lot about resistance, but resistance does not just attack
artists. We can always find excuses to not do what we should do. It is not
that we do not know what we should do, but that we experience some
insecurity because we cannot determine the outcome. Identify where, when,
and how you face resistance in your life so that you can start to overcome it.

Many of us can say money keeps us from what love to do. Most of the time,
this is not a good reason or excuse. Poor people can save money because they
have disciplined themselves to budget. When answering this question use
words that are based in activities that are not important.

What distracts us from doing what we love?


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The second part of the battle is simply showing up every day. Inspiration does
not strike people like lightning. Inspiration is often an instant thought or idea.
Inspiration is not an idea that you have when you are stressed and you grasp at
straws. You are desperate and most often make foolish decisions. You will
need to think about the times when you get most of your workable ideas. By
starting the motions of whatever it is we need inspiration for, we open the
door for inspiration to arrive.

Discipline is about what we love. Discipline is also about giving up pieces of


your life, which are not in focus with what you love. Imagine a concert pianist
or YoYo Ma not playing their instrument of choice for a year. They need to not
only practice, but keep each part of their body in control. In order to play the
way he loves to play, hours of disciplined practice is required each day. If you
have ever tried to run or walk for an extended time, or row across the ocean,
you will find it is a mental discipline. In a different way, we show the same
discipline every day when we show up on time at our jobs even when we do
not feel like it and not a part of discipline, as much as an economic necessity.
The smiles and the attitude are what we show, so people do not ask too many
questions.
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Our callings deserve that same dedication and discipline. Doing what we love
is still work. Many people are disciplined in their habits and jobs, yet
unfulfilled. The sacrifice of some things requires an understanding of the
rewards you will have when you are in your calling. When you function in your
calling, priorities need to change. As priorities change, the level of fulfillment
also increases. The energy you need to push yourself is pushing you.

Where are you doing that requires a lot of energy?


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What excuses do you make to avoid activities you cant get out of?
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Are you showing up for work or is work energizing you?

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When answering this you should reflect on how your job energizes you.
Perhaps you are in the right kind of company but in the wrong position.

How will you achieve that position so you can function in your calling?

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What kinds of people or opportunities consistently enter your life or are


attracted to you?
Finding Your True North

Humility

Humility is central to understanding the Calling . If you have been trying to


practice self-discipline, you will soon realize humility links to it. If you are
anything like me, trying to be disciplined makes you realize quickly that youre
not as great as you think you are. Discipline can take a lot of energy. Having to
think about the choices I make each day makes discipline hard. I usually kick
myself when I have made a poor decision. I pride myself on discipline, but
secretly find it is not as rewarding as people promise. When I realize how much
I need help, I feel humbled and weak. Remember that pride comes before a fall,
if you believe the proverb.

Your calling never takes place in isolation. It needs community and the
accountability that comes with it. A community of backslappers will never help
you. Surrounding yourself with people with whom you can talk to honestly, will
move you to humility, which in turn moves you to growth. I value those who
have been there with gentleness and nurturing spirit. These people are special
and they are there for you. There are not always many, but one here and there.

My first year in Canada, in my own, brought a community to me. Later, when


circumstances had changed, other people like my friends Bob and Anne, or
Peter and Mom (names I call them), came into my life to be my community. I
have lost touch with some, but they will forever be a part of my life change and
move towards my understanding of calling.

Humility is important is you are to remain open to learning new things and
accepting help from those around you. The proverb, pride goes before a fall
is very true. Humility is a view of self as an equal with all others. It is not
demeaning of self, but understands the limits of humanity and the inclusion
of others in the learning circle.

True humility is a grateful acceptance of our giftedness, which is from God, to


be used by Him for others. This idea of I am created for the betterment of
others is a Christian concept, and can be humiliating. We do not like other
people at times, which clashes with this concept. Here we find God as the
initiator of a calling relationship. You may have been taught to deny
your self so that you wouldnt become proud or boastful. This is false
humility. This is like fools gold. Humility is not about denial of self, but an
acceptance of the position God has designed for us. It looks good until people
Finding Your True North

discover that is only a faade, and the true self is discovered. All you need to
do is look at politicians, leaders, and then yourself. Most people like
leadership, but lose their focus to ambition followed by pride. Others are
called to leadership and excel, without the stress and effort most often
associated with the position. They are much more effective, not because they
are in a power position, but because when a person in their calling the drive to
hold power is not an issue and humility is easier to exercise. Humilitys
confidence lie in abilities, but doesnt claim ownership over them. The key
word is gift. We are gifted, and we are to be stewards not owners of them.

Stewardship is Calling at work. Stewards maintain an attitude of humility


because they are never owners but are responsible to answer to someone else
about the resources under their care.

When you function in your calling, you will discover a sense of gratitude.
Gratitude will be the catalyst for change in your worldview. You cannot believe
how incredibly lucky you are to be doing whatever it is you are doing.

Asking yourself, Am I humble? leads to arrogance. If you need to ask, you are
probably not very humble. Ask yourself Instead, how grateful you are for your
position in life. Ask questions about what you are learning new. How do people
give input into your life?

List the people with whom you can be honest and accept their input into your
ideas or habits.

~ Bob and Anne, Peter and Mom, are a couple of mine .


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Humility is about stewardship. What have you been given that you
consider a steward of? How are you managing them?

~ My job - I am careful to retain respect among my peers, and hold my


Integrity
~ Family I try to connect with family and support them when possible,
however I can.
Finding Your True North

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Community

Finding or building a community is essential to following your calling for a


couple reasons. First, finding a community is the best context for continual
learning and personal growth. Finding a community that encourages you to
grow and not only function in a culture cycle or position is important.

In a good community, we encounter new ideas. The Beatles went in directions


that were different than the norm. Bill Gates quit High School, and there are so
many more on the list of failed successes. Theses made choices, which were
possibly contrary to culture, but moved them into jobs and areas where they
functioned in their calling. Considered geniuses by some for their success
had they not understood who they were, they would have been mired in the
culture of the day and perhaps in true failure. That doesnt mean they were all
humble and nice, or made good decisions. At different points along your
journey, youll need information, advice, encouragement, and probably some
motivational talks. We need a community that challenges us to live up to our
potential.

Secondly, community offers the help and support we need to follow our
callings. We just cannot do it on our own. Good communities n help us grow by
keeping us accountable. At times, we are stubborn and refuse to ask for help.
Some people would consider this a fear-factor. We are scared of people
pushing their agendas in us. We lack a trust in people, but this is what a good
community is about. Most, if not all of us have been betrayed by someone. It
makes us a bit shy to ask for help. Part of getting help is getting it from the
right people and helping them understand exactly what kind of support youre
looking for. This is not about taking just anyones advice. Dont negate your
own judgment in favor of someone elses, just because theyre older or have a
Finding Your True North

degree that you dont have. Part of the problem is that we have not sat down
and figured out our own opinions on anything. We depend on others to feed
us. This dependence creates a constant change of mind about decisions. We
have no faith in our judgment. Community is a safe sounding box for us to
create our individuality.

We should be careful not to confuse community with group. Though they are
basically groups, a community is there to help us define our individuality. A
group is something we hang out with and are often bound to them through
social or cultural mores. All of us need wise council, so find those people who
are doing what you want to do, and who are passionately following their own
callings. Ask them to share their experiences. Find a mentor.

As social creatures, living in community is part of our DNA. When you start to
follow your calling, there can be a sudden sense of deep isolation when you
realize how counter-cultural it is. Your values and priorities may change
drastically compared to those around you. It can feel lonely when friends or
family dont understand why you need or want to follow your calling. In fact
many times a person will get ridiculed for their choices. We need close
colleagues and a team of supporters in our lives to help us follow through on
our dreams.

Think about your community. Is it? How do they help you to learn and grow?

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What kind of support you need and where will you find your dream team?

Example ~ I need a team of people who will listen to my ideas and ask good
questions to point me in the right direction. I will find them in
groups of people that God brings into my life. Most of these know
me already, I just have to establish connections and develop a
relationship with them.
Finding Your True North

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Sacrifice

When we talk about living your calling, it is possible to get the impression it is a
joy ride, where everything about your personality, gifts, talents, interests.
Motivation neatly falls into place and every day is this amazing energy-filled
work of art that you love.

To make choices toward your calling you will have to make sacrifices. As
mentioned in the discussion of discipline, to achieve the smoothness and
fluidity of our calling sacrifices must be made. Our calling takes us in one
direction and excludes others. It is very individualistic. Nobody will fit the niche
that you have reserved for you. The people you are called to are ready for you.
They will come when you are ready. Often we understand a bit of ourselves
and we pursue relationships with all of our energy. If we relax and expend our
energy in a more balanced way we will find that we have less stress and the
right people will come anyway.

In business, we use the term opportunity cost to put a price on pursuing one
direction instead of another. In other words, what is the cost of making a
decision to do A that excludes being able to do B?

In following your calling, opportunity cost is something you need to think


about. The sacrifices may be small, like not getting to take a nap because you
need to write a blog post or they may be large, requiring radical changes to the
way you live, like those called to serve oversees with non-profit organizations.
You have to accept that pursuing a course like that will include costs like
missing out on family events, or setting aside your career track.

Calling also requires us to live out our stories and become who we were meant
to be. Our calling is not a state of static flux. It is a change through growth,
which unfortunately can be painful. In fact, the only way we really do learn life
lessons and become better human beings is through trials. Suffering takes
humans through a refining process. The reflection on the effort to remain
Finding Your True North

disciplined is a good example. If you want to follow your calling, you will have
to sacrifice the security of your comfort zone. You will be stretched in new
areas. In order to grow, we may need to sacrifice old perceptions or beliefs and
our desire for independence and control. Our boundaries will need to be
reassessed, or perhaps become more flexible to allow us to let go of our need
to control.

Initially calling requires hard work. The changes needed for us to understand
how things fit together takes a lot of soul searching and challenge, you could
even call it labor! Doing the real work behind the vision isnt necessarily a
breeze. You will be required to make sacrifices of your time and your energy. In
our culture, hard work is looked upon as a negative. In reality, it will bring out
the true person.

The sacrifices our callings ask us to make may seem like too much, but avoiding
your calling can actually lead to greater pain. It may be scary, but its the only
life worth living. If we refuse to make necessary sacrifices, we may end up
refusing to really live.

How willing are we to give up the good life in order to pursue the best life?

Example ~ I have a good life and I am not ready to risk it for a dream of better. I
need to be guaranteed a better life.

~ I like a bit of risk and there has to be better. I am secure, but no


longer energized by what I do. I will risk time and money to find the
peace that the calling offers. My head is just too tired where I am.

Joy

The cost to get joy is pain. We do not often think of joy and pain in the same
phrase, as most of us love joy and hate pain. We can also reverse that and say
that pain is mitigated by joy. Joy is a core component of calling; its the
counterbalance to sacrifice, discipline and hard work. Joy is a combination of
feeling deep gratitude and delight in your life and work. One of the synonyms
is to be blessed with. You could look at joy as feeling blessed with your life.
The depth of your joy may be reflected in the amount of sacrifice you have
committed to. Sacrifice is not sacrifice at all if you are full of joy. When you
have joy the idea of pain and sacrifice is, What pain? What sacrifice? There is
Finding Your True North

no room for such thoughts because it clears away any shadows that might be
there.

If you are looking for your calling and wondering what you should be doing
with your life, many career experts start with the question, What do you
enjoy?As humans, we want to experience joy in our work. We want to feel
blessed with what we do. It is what we spend our life searching for. We know
theres more to our work than our paychecks. Have you ever had that
experience where youve done something difficult, that required a lot from you,
but you wouldnt have traded the experience for anything because it was
meaningful and satisfied something in your heart? Thats the joy in the call.

The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi uses the term Flow to describe the
mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a
feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the
activity. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture,
while performing a task (Wikipedia). When we operate out of a deep sense of
calling, our energy and joy seem limitless. Have you ever had that experience
where you have been so engrossed in an activity, you have lost track of the
time? If you have, you were probably experiencing flow.

So you feel you are in the perfect job, but dont feel limitless and energized
right now? Dont worry! We will not feel like this every waking moment of our
day, even if we are operating out of a deep sense of calling. The day-to-day
tasks will not all be exhilarating, no matter how much we wish that could be.

Theres a perception that our lives will become easy and happy if were doing
what we love. This is false. It is like the perception that getting married will
solve all your problems and you will live blissfully ever after. Do not give up on
following your calling because you are not experiencing ecstasy every moment
of the day! The experience of joy may be more like the sudden ray of sunshine
breaking through the clouds, the moment of beauty that lifts your heart and
gives you hope and motivation to continue. Even though it is only a moment, it
makes the rest of the day worth it.

Ask yourself what brings you joy right now? If you cant think of anything that
brings you joy right now, try thinking about what situation, thing, or process
that you enjoy improving, fixing, or interacting in.
Finding Your True North

Have you ever experienced the flow? Perhaps you havent but would like to.
If you have write it below. It is important to remember the experience as it is
where your calling functions. If you havent ever, describe what you would
be doing to feel the flow in action. ( Visualize yourself in action)

When was the last time you experienced the flow, as defined by
Csikszentmihalyi?

Or, write a vision of yourself in action where the feeling of the flow is in full
effect.

Example ~ Its been awhile but when I gave my presentation a couple of years
ago I felt the flow in action. It is an unforgettable feeling and Im
sure people around me got tired of me talking about it.
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W VI. Components of
Self-Identity

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Finding Your True North

Self-Identity: Understanding the Question Who am I? Many people will ask


themselves this question at some point in their life. If you have not asked this
question, finding your calling is perhaps not important in your life at this
moment. When relationships breakdown or a business fails and you wonder
what is next to fail in life, the question is more likely thought about. There are
many solutions offered like: believe in God, give your treasures away, do
something very risky, and more. The options you have are innumerable. When
we understand that each person is put in a place for a reason we will be able to
start our travel of discovery.

Already you have answered many questions about people and places that you
feel comfortable in or with. You have written a few ideas about opportunities
that are constantly coming into your spere of influence. These small things all
add up to your self-identity.

Some choose to believe ancient religious philosophies, while others consider


them to be impractical in understanding who you are. It is nice to think that
everything in the Universe was created just for you because you are special.
The unpredictability of events will help us understand that the whole was not
created for us, but we were created for a small part of the universe.

People have often queried about how we can say that we are created in Gods
image, when there are so many different looks around. To understand this idea,
we must understand infinity, which is impossible. The idea of infinity is beyond
our comprehension. To create a world or universe that functions together
without major mishap is beyond our finite self. We can only peruse what
infinity is in real terms. On the other hand, we can see God in all of His creation,
the balance of how the universe operates, and the nature of people. That
humans are out of balance comes down to one idea, free choice. We have
been given the choice to live with the rules of nature, or manipulate them to
better society. Since we are limited in understanding, we can see only a few
years ahead, at most, while God sees the infinite future. To discover our Call
we must acknowledge God through an active relationship.

Believe in God or not, the entity, which created requires recognition. The
creator created the rules, and when they work as created, there is minimal
friction. This is where the call is. It is the place where what and who we were
created are in harmony. This does not mean that we cannot be successful or
Finding Your True North

happy. Many people are successful and happy. Their lives are full of health and
wealth. Most have one or the other.

Your self-identity may be defined as the way you look at yourself and your
relationship to the world. Understanding this, allows you to examine who you
are and more importantly create who you want to be.

Previously we broke the call into components. Understanding the parts of


who we are will help us view how we identify with the call.

Components of Self-Identity

When referring to self-identity we consider self-assessments such as;


personality attributes, knowledge of ones skills and abilities, ones
occupation and hobbies, and awareness of ones physical attributes.

For example, the statement, I am lazy is a self-assessment that contributes to


the self-concept. The communication of lazy is an assessment of motivation.
Perhaps a better phrase would be I am not motivated. If we rephrase how
we speak we can view the real problem to one part of our life. If we consider
lazy to be equal with unmotivated we are able to see where the change
needs to be. We need to search for what motivates us versus a do something
attitude. In contrast, the statement I am tired, would not normally be
considered part of someones self-concept, since being tired is a state of being.
Part of the problem with self-assessments is the mix of terms. states-of-being
and self-concepts are not the same. If we are to develop a good concept, we
need to separate these two ideas.

Self-Identity is not restricted to the present. It includes past and future selves.
Future selves represent an individuals ideas of what they might become
(possibility) , what they would like to become(desire), and what they are afraid
of becoming (fear). They correspond to words like: hopes, fears, standards,
goals, and threats. What we view as possible may function as incentives for
future behavior and provide an evaluative context for interpreting our current
view of self.

List negative phrases that you tell yourself then change them to reflect a better
self-assessment.
Finding Your True North

Example (negative phrase) I am lazy


(changeable / self-assessment) I am unmotivated.
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Boundary

Boundaries are important guides to our identity. They are clear and defined, if
you can imagine your self-identity as your house or property. The boundary
lines let others know how far the ownership of the property goes. In a
personal development sense, the boundaries are more difficult to see and be
aware of. In a nutshell, your boundaries are your preferences or rules you
have about things like:1) What behavior is acceptable from and towards you. 2)
Your ability to say YES and NO.

Example ~

You have a group of friends that are fun to hang out with. Sometimes they do
things that you disapprove of. As a result, others are hurt financially or
emotionally. Bullying is one example of this. While you are together, they want
you to watch or be silent even if you disapprove. Do you watch them bully
someone because they are valued persons? Do you stand up and show your
disapproval stating your boundaries do not allow it? Are you able to be
comfortable saying No to the request. Boundaries are not effective if other
people set them. Taking control of your boundaries may require changes in
relationships. They define who you are to your friends. If your friends respect
you they will not ask you to expand your boundaries.

Think carefully about how you respond to other peoples requests for your
time, money, or relationships. Who sets your boundaries? If your answer is
similar to the one below, follow up with how you want to change the situation.

Example ~ I like to think I set my own boundaries, but when a friend asks me to
do something I feel uncomfortable about I usually follow them. I
need to more secure in who I am so I can be stronger to defend my
boundaries.
Finding Your True North

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Worldview

A worldview is a structure or framework that a person uses to organize and


define what the world is to them. The worldview should allow us to
understand how the world functions and how it is structured us including; the
physical universe, the Earth, life, mind, society, and culture. We are an
important part of that world; therefore, a worldview should also answer the
basic question: Who are we?

The worldview is our standard of how things are or should be in the world we
live in. It is a global concept that makes up our values and morals, our rules of
how we should act, relate, and operate within the world. To most people the
worldview is a vague set of rules and guidelines adopted from our friends,
family religious groups, and society, seldom making an active process of
creating our own. We can create aspects of our worldview though our intellect,
using either rational and conscious decisions or emotional charged ideas and
concepts. The worldview is a filter, which we make judgments of others and
ourselves.

Self Esteem

Self-esteem is a persons overall evaluation or appraisal of her or his own


worth at any one point in time. It is a general term used for an emotional
measure of how well we are living up to our worldview. Self-esteem is perhaps
the single most important emotional gauge of our ability to feel almost all
other positive emotions and beliefs about ourselves. For example, it affects
how we measure happiness, success, well being, confidence, assurances, etc,
comprising all of these feelings in a combined sensation called self-esteem.

While self-esteem is a general state of mind, it is affected by changes in any


one of the various feelings that make it up. For example, a drop in confidence
will lower self-esteem, in the short term. Prolonged negative experience will
produce a longer-term reduction of self-esteem. At the same time, a positive
Finding Your True North

emotional experience will increase the sensation. In simple terms, when you
experience an event or situation that supports your world view your personal
and emotional steam power increases and vice versa.

How we measure happiness, success, well being, confidence, assurances?

Example ~ I measure happiness as a state of positive emotion. Success is


different and usually quantity oriented. This means that if I make a
profit my business is a success. Well-being is a feeling of being
healthy. Confidence is measured by the ability to take risks, and
assurances are measured by the relationship or history that I have
with the person.

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Character Building Model

Your boundaries surround your self-identity, which filters both outward and
inward experience you have to the world. The resulting emotional experience
you have from a situation, person or event is then determined by how well you
managed the experience in relation to your worldview.

Example~

You have an unchangeable rule in your worldview that If someone respects


me they will not yell at me. If you have set boundaries , when someone yells
at you, you will respond with, Please do not yell, it shows me you have no
respect for me. The person will know what is acceptable to you, and you will
increase your self-esteem because you had integrity.

If you do not have a boundary about yelling, the person will yell at you and
you will lose self-esteem, because according to your worldview that they do
not respect you. In addition, because you are not living up to your own
standards, you feel bad and lose more self-esteem.
Finding Your True North

You might like to think of the boundary as being a container or protector that
surrounds you. It not only protects your self-identity, but acts like a gas tank
for your self-esteem. Within the boundary is your measure of Self Esteem. We
understand that our sense of self-esteem is a measure of how well we measure
up to our worldview. This measure determines our actions and reactions to
the world around you determined by the rules that we have.

The construction of our self-identity is a compilation of our experience through


the boundaries of how well you measure up to your worldview. Self-identity
becomes a long lasting definition of your character. Fighting to keep your
boundaries strong will; strengthen who you are, and your ability to make
positive changes in your life.

Self-Identity problems

Each person is unique. Therefore, their view of the world is unique to them.
No one has a perfect worldview (except in his or her thinking). In fact, most
people live a good and productive life but have very vague rules or an
understanding of their worldview. This vagueness is reflected in broken
boundaries, or a lack of preference for; who they are, what they like and what
is appropriate behavior. Sometimes there is no preference at all which creates
gaps in the boundary.

Self Identity

We all have holes in our boundaries, defined as gaps. Gaps are undefined or a
lack of preferences on self-imposed rules. At a basic level, it is your inability to
say or hear the word No. For example, you might not be able to say No to a
family members request, or if done by someone outside of the family, allow
them to get away with something unacceptable for you,

A vague preference or rule is something that you are a little wishy-washy on.
It is a concept or situation where you have an idea of what is acceptable to you.
For example, you may define yourself by a particular religious faith, but live in
sin according to that faith and justify it to yourself.

A well-defined section of your boundary is a preference you have and stick


with. It is a clear statement of who you are. You are able to express this to
yourself and to those around you. Examples might include a political view,
your position on abortion, or any strongly held belief.
Finding Your True North

When your boundaries have gaps or vague preferences, you lack control in
your decision-making. You put yourself in a position where people or
situations can reach in and press your buttons. This will create stress and
confusion. Without a boundary filter for your identity, you will drain your
sense of self-esteem.

When you do not have a clear sense of preferences, or lack self esteem to act
on them, people will manipulate and annoy you. You will get annoyed with
yourself and be unable to present a clear concept of who you are to those
around you. People will not be able understand where you stand on
something which makes it difficult for them to develop respect or trust for you.

Example ~

Let us assume someone who has a history of bad spending habits and a lack of
self-discipline says there was something they absolutely needed and spent all
their money. They then ask to borrow $300 from you until payday. If you have
clear boundaries, you would consider this request using your defined rules and
personal expectations. Your answer would be a direct No! because you
question the validity of the other persons choices. You would then suggest
that they learn to live within their means commenting that new shoes are a
luxury not a necessity.

You have stated your worldview and preferences, strengthening your resolve
to say No to this request. The person may attempt to manipulate you or
push your buttons by making you feel guilty. They may say something like,
You know last weekend I brought you drinks, and you cant do me this little
favor. You will feel a bit guilty and remorse, but you will have the strength to
maintain your position.

Will you lose a friend? Who needs friends who always push our boundaries?
You have a solid rule about this, when they push you, they feel the resistance,
your firmness and resolve. While they may not like your decision, they will
respect you for it. You will raise your level of self-esteem because you have
encountered a situation that you remained true to who you are. Because you
followed your worldview rules, you filled your tank a little more which
strengthens your self-identity.
Finding Your True North

Vague Boundaries

If you only have vague rules, you might need to think about the request for a
moment. You may have the rule that it is OK to lend money to friends and
family because it is only right to help people you love. It might depend on the
situation and the person asking, and perhaps if they just promise to be more
careful next time you will give them the money.

In this situation, you have doubts about yourself, who you are, and what you
believe. While you may make someone else happy, you are unsure it was the
right decision to make. You may question yourself afterwards as to why you
gave money away you needed. Your boundary here is vague you have no
measure these kinds of decisions affect your self-esteem and are subject to
seeking external confirmation you did the right thing. People in this situation
will ask other people for confirmation not taking ownership for the decision.
Taking ownership for the decision, right or wrong, will allow you to build self-
identity and esteem, change or fix boundaries, create better solutions and
answers for next time.

Gaps in your Boundaries

Now let us assume you have a gap in boundary about your worldview rule, a
hole when it comes to people asking for money. The person asking is telling
you they are in need, they would not ask otherwise, and you want them to like
you so you give them the money they ask for. Come payday, they are out with
their friends having a great time and they do not even offer to pay you back.
You ask them about it and they make an excuse and promise next week. This
person knows you are weak, there is no respect for you or your needs, they
can get what they want and you offer no level of value to them because you
are so easy to manipulate.

You on the other hand feel betrayed and left out, your sense of who you are
and your place in the world is conditional on someone else and what they do.
You get stressed because you think they should behave a certain way and
they are not. According to your rules about life, people should not spend
money on things they do not need and cant afford, but because of the gap in
your boundary you did not live up to your expectations of how you should live
your life. Your sense of self-esteem drains as you spend your time and energy
worrying about something that is now outside of your control.
Finding Your True North

Controlling Self Identity

When you have a clearly defined worldview, where you know the rules, you
can create preferences or boundaries around yourself. As life experiences
come around, you make decisions based on your boundaries. This in turn
increases your sense of self-esteem and develops a stronger character and self-
identity. You are able to define the limits of your control.

In the case of psychological feelings, you understand that you are the only one
who can make you feel a certain way. You understand that things outside of
your self-identity can only affect you when there is a gap in your boundary.

Others may attempt to control the outcome of a situation or your feelings, but
your boundary will protect you from any attempts to manipulation. You will act
with integrity. You will know what requests, events and situations you say No
or Yes too. They are unable to push your buttons and make you respond in a
way that gets them a result.

You also understand that you are the only person able to control who you are.
On the other hand you are unable to determine others world views or what
boundaries they might or might not have. You resist the mistake of attempting
to get results by controlling another persons worldview and self- identity.

Your worldview is directly connected to your boundaries. The way other


people see you is reflected in your ability to close your boundary gaps. If you
want to find your call the ability to make moves in your life independently is
important. A strong self-identity creates confidence to assess personal life
directions.

How are your boundaries? What problems do you experience with gaps in your
boundaries? How does fixing your boundary gaps affect your call?

Example ~

My boundaries are getting stronger. I have many people who desire my time.
At times, they ask for money, which they always promise to pay back. In fixing
my gaps in the areas of time and money, I have made questions to ask before
committing to something. In terms of money, I ask myself if I am comfortable
with the idea of losing it. If I cant lose it I cant give it. In terms of time, it is
important that I give myself time to my primary job well first. I view my call
Finding Your True North

as a facilitator, which infers that people will be redirected through me. I need
to maintain balance especially in terms of time. The danger is to focus my call
on my ambition, losing the peace, power, and confidence functioning in the
call zone will give me.

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Finding Your True North

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W VII Dreams vs.


Aspirations

SW SE
Finding Your True North

Goals

When considering a calling long-term goals are essential. Short-term


goals need to be assessed in terms of how they affect the long-term
outcome. If we consider that to be called to something will result in
our ability to be energized, any short-term goals would reflect on this
inner sense of energy.

As humans, we have the smarts to look into the future. We should


realize the potential by making good decisions for the long term. Short-
term goals should always be there to contribute to the success of long-
term goals. Your short-term goals should drive your everyday decisions
and are more realistic to envision and accomplish, but should be
structured with your long-term goals in mind. On the lines below write
out your long-term goals, and how the short-term goals will reflect on
them.

Example ~ My long-term goal is to be an itinerant speaker. This means


that I need to develop a network of people to gain integrity.

My short-term goal is to finish ten books and present every


year. The short-term goal will help me build integrity and
network with people. The people I speak to will reflect those
I am called. The network will provide the means to that end.

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When a decision is in conflict with your goals, due to some desire for
immediate pleasure or satisfaction, it is likely that none or few of your
goals will ever be realized. This happens all the time. We make decisions
based on a perception that other rewards will follow. When the other
rewards do not fall into place, we miss meeting our goals. We need to
set boundaries that keep us from making decisions based on hope alone.
Finding Your True North

A good story is about a young man who bought tickets to a future


appointment. He thought that there was enough money coming to pay
for the travel expenses to the appointment. When he returned from the
trip, he had lots of bills and no money. People didnt keep their financial
promises and his goals were not met. He did however enjoy his time, so
that goal was met.

Path

Goals ultimately provide a path to follow in life. Everyday short-term


goals such as a to-do list are valuable in getting things done. Short-
term goals that are steps toward long-term goals provide to-do lists for
the long term goals, they are stepping stones. When should goals drive a
decision? That depends on how important the goals are in your life. If a
long term goal is to purchase a home. You need a down payment and
extra money for decorating and furniture there is a monetary goal as
well as an educational goal.

The call is the center from which these goals are the most easily
achieved. When the these are not in sync, your daily life gets in the way
of saving money for that home your long term goal of a down payment
is either pushed further out or nonexistent. You will reach the edges of
your potential, but lack the full power of it.

Setting goals is an important part of moving forward and staying focused.


Developing a mission statement will keep you focused, but the call
will determine the smoothness of the road you travel. Years ago, I had
a friend who liked to put coffee grounds in a cup of hot water. Most of
us would use a filter because the coffee grounds always got in your
teeth and you had to spit the grounds out. The grounds took away the
enjoyment. If good coffee was your goal, you would be disappointed. If a
relationship was your goal you would have achieved your goal. Your
calling is about people not material things, but we often let the coffee
grounds become a distraction to the real goal.

Keeping a positive attitude everyday in whatever you do will always


make things easier, and better yet, more enjoyable. Here are six ways to
Finding Your True North

achieve a daily positive attitude. You will discover that people are
attracted to people who live life to the fullest. Avoid just going through
the day. Instead, find something to be passionate about in any given day.
Whether it may be something mundane or something grand, squeeze all
that you can out of life every day.

An example is a student in my class. He was quite a bit higher than most


of the class. He never tried and showed a lazy attitude. During the first
few classes, I suggested that he take the leadership in his group, by
asking questions to help the others work through their thinking. He
made the adjustment and others in his team grew stronger. He started
making lemonade out of a lemon and found it was a lot more enjoyable.
This person started with a passive attitude. By changing his attitude,
others changed into stronger speakers. What was a boring class became
a growing class. When the final test came, the weaker students wanted
to choose him.

Proactive

The motivation to the call is somewhat altruistic. The idea of the call
is not driven by money or fame, but by a sense of duty to function in
the place and position you are chosen for. At this point you will impact
the world around you.

Being proactive is the opposite of reactive. Think ahead a bit. Think of


the reactions people may have to what you say or do. You will not be
able to anticipate everything. Make something good happen every day
for you or for someone else, and it will help your daily positive attitude.
The key is to focus on others not yourself. If you are getting reactions
that you are not planning on, a change in how or what you say or do is
warranted. An example of this is the phrase pay it forward. People
buy coffee for the person behind them. They do not ask. They just do it
anonymously. On Facebook there was a video of a group of people who
Finding Your True North

collected cash for groceries. When they saw someone who couldnt pay
they paid it for them. No names were given or exchanged. Too often we
want the praise of doing good deeds.

December 2, 2015 a race was run. One participant was ahead by quite a
margin. The runner stopped because he thought he had finished, but
still had a few meters to go. The runner behind him caught up to him. He
could easily have passed and won, but took the first persons hand and
showed him where to go. There was no news of this in the major media
outlets.

Being proactive means that fame and fortune are not always first, but
reacting to a higher morality is. I can imagine a lot of criticism came
from those who would take advantage of the situation, but being
proactive, the second person had already determined their action.

Appreciate what you have. I have always told my children that you dont
change jobs for money. There is never enough money. If you just drive
to your dreams and goals and forget gratitude, you will achieve them
and miss happiness. Choose happiness and you will achieve your goals
with less stress and stronger relationships.

Take Opportunities

Take opportunities when they come. We miss many because we are


tired and worn out. We miss opportunities because we focus on other
things. Opportunities can be created, but they are much more
energizing when they come to you. A daily positive attitude needs to
take advantage of whatever opportunity they get. The question is what
kind of opportunity you are looking for. Warren Buffet lives in the same
house he bought over 30 years ago.

A simple lunch with a homeless person could be the one thing that
changes a life. When we move closer to the calling of our lives people
Finding Your True North

are changed. Everything is significant. We must change how we view the


people and opportunities differently, if we are serious about finding our
calling.

Seizing opportunity doesn't mean running after every scheme that is


presented to you. It does mean that we consider how it fits with who
we are and our goals. Often we make excuses to make us feel good
about poor decisions. Choosing opportunities that move us forward,
dont stress us out, and build to our goals are great. Remember that
successful people have trained themselves to have an inner awareness
when it comes to taking advantage of new opportunities. This
awareness developed over many poor decisions. A few have the sense
of good and bad. This is their calling. Others will have to train or
experience failure to develop the positive attitude.

Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter releases stress and helps take
the immediate stress away. Joking can also be a protective cover for
stress. Positive attitudes and humor make the world go around
smoother. People generally like to be around other people who find
humor in even the most difficult situations. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Life is much too valuable to be moping around in self-pity. Know that a
great sense of humor is very attractive.

There are no limits to what you can do. The video often seen on
Facebook of the man with no arms or legs, but who still speaks to
crowds, is just one of many. It is not what you have, but what you do
with what you have that is important. Nobody can take your dreams and
aspirations from you and there is no limit to how far you can go and how
much you can accomplish. Bad things happen to good people. Only the
good die young they say. Even by doing nothing, you are still creating
your life, so get involved and create the life you can enjoy. Anyone who
has been successful, who lives life and has a life to be proud of, has a
daily positive attitude.
Finding Your True North

You now have a positive attitude about life. You want to understand
how you can change your life to match the ideas you have just worked
through. What? Where? How? All these are good questions. A call
may not come through the phone, a friend, or sit in your lap.

Remember the first worksheets you did. They were difficult to do. To
find your call pay attention to what opportunities come into your life.
This means to the things that happen in your life, the people you meet,
the places you are drawn to. This means those things that you just want
to do and the people with whom you want to do them.

Which opportunities bring those together?

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Dont chase opportunity. Chasing will make you tired. Let ideas stay
awhile before you choose them, if possible. Many ideas and
opportunities will come and go, but the better ones will stay with you.
Prioritize opportunities by writing down your inner emotions about
them.

Write about an opportunity that you chased. Were you peaceful? Did if
stretch you? Why were you attracted to it?

Example ~ I chased an opportunity. I saw the future as a secure job


opportunity. I saw the money I could make. I was energized
but not very peaceful. It stretched my energy levels and my
mind to make it work. I was attracted to it because it offered
security both financially and fit my call. I let ambition drive
me.

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Finding Your True North

Express Yourself

Express yourself in ways you find enjoyable. If you are not the joke type
joking will be difficult. There are many ways to express yourself. Try
music, writing, exploring, etc. Open your mind to explore who you really
are. Ask yourself questions as to why you choose things. What takes a
lot of work and what is easy for you to do well and not get bored with it.
Many things we can do well, but we get bored quickly. In your calling,
you do things without getting bored, though they may be easy.
Creativity flows easier when you are not fighting boredom.

What creative things have you done in the past month but have not
become bored?

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Childhood is often a time of blissful naivet. It is also a place where we


should go to in our minds. What did we really love to do? Our callings
are very often things that we loved to be or do when we were very
young before we were asked to fit in.

What were you curious about? What did people tease you about?

Example ~ I was curious about many things. I loved science and how
things worked together. People always teased me about
being overweight. I could never communicate my ideas well
One professor encouraged me to develop my writing to
match my speaking. Understanding our strengths is
important to discover what we love to do.

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Finding Your True North

A calling make you more than feel good. It will open a sense of deep
mental creativity and satisfaction. When we are doing what we are
supposed to be doing, we are connected, joyful, expressive, loving and
purposeful. Notice times in your daily life that you feel like this.

What are you doing? Who is with you? What are you allowing?

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Turn off those things that distract you. Try your cell phone, radio, TV,
even people. People can be a distraction, though you are called to a
specific group or person. People who are not in your call zone are also
distractions. We can get stuck spending time with people who insist on
taking our time, but make us feel worn out after a short time. They are
fun in the short term, but distract us from our long-term goals. Turn
them down in your life and allow possibility in. This will be hard at first -
its easy to use these things to stop you facing things you dont want to,
or having to answer difficult questions - but consciously opting for
stillness over diversions, or emptiness over a life chock full of busy is
choosing to open a dialogue with yourself and your path.

Pay attention to what keeps coming back. When you are asked to repeat
an event, it is something you should consider carefully. Repeated
opportunities are the beginning of things to come. The things that are
always true for you or wont go away are really important in discovering
your calling. An example is story telling. A famous childrens story was
Mr. Rogers. The man who started this TV show was trained to be a
minister. Imagine if he had been just a preacher and not followed the
inner emotion to reflect better childrens programming. These recurrent
things are giving you clues as to what will really satisfy you, pay
attention to them.

Trying new ideas allows us to determine what does or doesnt work.


Many people want to be leaders, but shouldnt be. They are miserable
Finding Your True North

people as leaders, yet shine in many other ways. You have to try and
sometimes fail to know something is the right path or not. You have to
be active in stretching your mind.

Ask yourself what you connect with every day. You may connect with
nature by having a walk. You may connect with God through a
conversation. Who and what you connect with is not as important as the
fact that you do it.

Change Routines

Change your routine. This can be hard for some of us. Change where you
have coffee, or walk instead of drive. Routines are important, but they
need to be changed, to enlarge our ideas. Change is as good as a rest.
Walking in the evening releases the stress of the day. Walk different
paths and patterns and notice the changes.

Dont expect your calling to delivered via express mail. Rushing to


conclusions usually brings limited success. Work systematically, resisting
the need to rush. Decide to do the maximum, not the minimum. Many
students will do the minimum and learn a minimum. Do more just to
discover that you can. Discovering and honing your path in life will be a
continual part of your journey. Be compassionate to yourself, knowing
that where you are right now is the best place. Treat yourself, your
practices, and the world with patience.

Changing yourself is often easier than your job. Which should you
change is not always an easy decision. In this situation you are assigned
to a team. One of the team members is not pulling their weight. This
happens when there is one specific person in charge most often. Now
you are in a position of power. Your perception of the persons
motivation and behavior causes you to feel angry. You decide to put a
stop to actions, using your positional authority. What would you do with
this one person?
Finding Your True North

If I was in this position, I would


___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
______________________________________

If you choose to tell him/her directly in front of the others, you may stop
the behavior but lose all respect. If you took the person aside to see why
they do the actions assumed, you may win respect. The reaction could
be the person continues or changes with deep respect. You cannot
direct the persons reaction, but you can make decisions that will
determine the reactions by those beyond the person.

If you call a supervisor, explain your concern, and ask him for an
explanation you will be using personal power. Positional power is the
authority you receive from the office or position to which you are
appointed or elected. Personal power is the authority you command, as
a result of who you are. When personal power is used wisely, it
increases your positional power. When positional power is used wisely,
it increases your personal power. However, when either one of them is
used improperly, it reduces both your personal authority and positional
authority.

Followership defines leadership. If no one wants to follow you, you don't


have anyone to lead. If you don't have anyone to lead, you are only a
potential leader, not a practicing leader. If you abuse the positional
power you have been given those who are supposed to follow you will
vote with their feet and leave your organization.

Leadership is a learned art. One of the best ways to learn this art is to
study the lives of great leaders. Observe them. Talk with them. Read
about them. Then inculcate the skills of decision making that your role
models exemplify. With experience and reflection, we can all improve
our judicious use of positional and personal power. Not only will we gain
Finding Your True North

greater satisfaction, but those we lead will also benefit from the results
of better leadership and job satisfaction.

If you are called to be a leader, you will be asked to lead. You may not
always want to lead, but the opportunity will return repeatedly. Often
the best leaders are those who do not want to lead, but are called to
lead. They are not results oriented, because results will follow naturally.

The question you must ask yourself is Am I results oriented or do the


results follow naturally? Often when I am doing a project, people ask
me about results. The discussion revolves around their idea of what the
results should be, not the idea that the results will follow the idea. The
conflict for a person who follows their call is that is runs counter to
conventional wisdom, yet will flow naturally to the results anticipated.

This happens when a curriculum is score not student oriented. A teacher


can do much more in a student oriented curriculum because the results
will be there. When this is reversed to focus on only the output, the
students get tired and stressed. Which combination would you like to
have?

NE
Finding Your True North

NW NE

VIII Jobs:
W
Career or Calling

SW SE
Finding Your True North

We would all like to the win the lottery and feel the freedom of choice.
At the same time statistics say that a high number of winners are either
broke or dead in two years. Money will never bring us closer to our
calling. Neither will 1,000 gurus. However, our attitude about your work
directly affects our satisfaction and life meaning. Consider these three
orientations toward work. Which one applies to your current
employment? Each one has some basic ideas about what value you
place on your job.

In my current jobs as professor ( my primary job) and pastor (my calling


job) I could answer this easily. As creativity is a part of who I am, my
current primary job lacks in many areas. It draws my energy down. My
other job renews my energy. Add to the mix my friends whom I meet on
the weekend also play a part. The people I am called to move forward
in their lives. They provide the creativity and support needed to achieve
the call. If I were to only have the one, I would have to find another
University which allows me more creativity. Choosing a company or
employer which empowers you is important. Otherwise, you will work
hard, stress out, get depressed and tired, eventually becoming a sad and
unhappy person. To recognize what you need to change your situation is
the beginning of understanding these three ideas.

Job
Individuals who fall into this category view their work as a means to an
end. They work to support their hobbies, family, or life outside work.
They prefer jobs, which do not interfere with their personal lives. They
are not as likely to have a strong connection to the workplace or their
job duties. The job is necessary to make the other parts of their life
function.

People who view their employment as a means have no loyalty. They


are more concerned with expanding their alter egos than company
image.
Finding Your True North

Career
An individual with a career orientation is more likely to focus on
elements related to success or prestige. This individual will be interested
in the ability to move upward and achieve the social standing. Careers
that have a clear upward ladder are appealing. For some there is
pressure from culture or family in this regard. Many students follow the
career of their test scores and not their heart or passion. At the same
time, if you put an effort into a career, give it 100% of your energy. The
problem occurs when your job becomes redundant. You get into a
routine and change becomes harder the longer you stay in your career.

VIII c. Calling

Individuals with a calling orientation often describe their work as


integral to their lives and their identity. They view their career as a
form of self-expression and personal fulfillment and are more likely to
find work meaningful and modifying their duties and developing
relationships to make it more so. They are more satisfied in general with
their work and lives. Remember the result of being the call zone is a
deep inner peace demonstrated through confidence and power.

Most of the time there is a combination of orientations. Most people


like money and find jobs help with basic life expenses. The differences
in a calling orientation are the key words. A key idea like ~ integral to
their identity ~ means that you cannot do without it. It is like a gamer
without a game machine. Your identity wraps around it. If you take what
is inside out you will have a hollow shell.

Other ideas like self-fulfillment and expression are also key ideas when
you are called to your job, not just a career or job. Sometimes you are
in the right career, but in the wrong position or company. Other times
you may accept the title, because of prestige and/or pressure from the
company or friends. The question to ask yourself is if you can truthfully
say that you can check the words ~ integral to identity, self-expression
and fulfillment ~ as part of why you are where you are.
Finding Your True North

Having short or long-term goals and paying off debt is great. A friend of
my son asked if I supported my sons investment of time and money in a
project. He even asked if I was interested in becoming a part of it. My
response was that I was not called to be in that kind of business. I had
tried it before and found that I could not be self-expressive, feel fulfilled,
or even see it as a means to an end. That is my opinion of course, but if
you qualify your choices based on those key phrases, you will make
different choices. I do have goals to reach, but they do not supersede
the call.

If you have a good title, high income, and manly toys to show your
friends, you may not be in your calling. These just show the world how
you see the world. As a pastor, I have often wondered what people
would be like without their church. If your identity is in your church, you
may feel lost. If your identity is in Christ, that is the designation of a
Christian, you will feel stable and confident. Let us take the example of
an administrative assistant:

The administrative assistant might approach his/her work with a


job attitude: Im working here because it was the only job
available in this market. Its OK, but its not my life. I'm more
interested in my family right now.
Or s/he might have a career approach: I really want to move up.
Im working toward becoming the CEOs assistant. I want that
office on the top floor. I want to be seen as a person with power
and access to the people in this organization.
On the other hand, an administrative assistant with a calling
orientation might be more likely to say: I take a lot of pride in
solving our customers problems before they ever reach my
supervisors desk. I consider myself an integral element in the
success of our company and I enjoy the challenges I face each
day.

The way we talk, changes when we are functioning in our calling.


Reread the three ideas. Look at the key words that each has and see
Finding Your True North

if they reflect the way you speak. To discover your call you must
change the questions you ask and the value you give to each
decision. Each decision will draw you closer or lead you farther from
your call.

When you are choosing a career or a transition in a current career,


do not change direction because of obstacles or challenges. Many
jobs and positions may pay more, but only the one which keeps you
on track to your call will satisfy.

Workplaces like Google, are rated as #1 because of their structure. Each


person has a task to complete. They have the freedom to pursue their
project in the workplace. This breeds a happy worker, makes job
changes minimal, and overall brings people who know their calling
together in one location.

Where do you think you fall in this classification system? Take a moment
to think about how your orientation affects your motivation, your desire
to continue with your career or find a new one, and your overall
job/career satisfaction.

Not sure? You can take a questionnaire to determine your preference.


Click on this link to the Authentic Happiness website (link is external) at
The University of Pennsylvania. Scroll down through the list of tests, and
click on the Work-Life Questionnaire (currently the 14th questionnaire
on the list). You will be asked to register (its free; just create a
username and password) and take the quiz. It will only take a few
minutes.

https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/user/login?destination
=node/627

This can be particularly helpful knowledge for transitioning into a new


career field. It can also help you better understand why your colleagues
approach their jobs differently from you. If youre a manager, the
supervisory style needed to manage individuals with job orientations
differs from those with calling orientations. My next blog post will focus
Finding Your True North

on suggestions developed by Dr. Wrzesniewski and other researchers for


crafting your job to enhance your happiness and satisfaction regardless
of your orientation.

VIII d. Personal power vs. Self-discipline

Personal power is the ability to change the direction of your life. A


simple example of exercising personal power is changing a habit. This
could be giving up smoking, starting an exercise routine, or controlling
an emotional reaction to a person at work. How quickly and efficiently
someone changes a behavior pattern is one way to measure their
personal power.

How would you rate your personal power?

Very Strong Strong Ok A bit weak Very weak

Desire is also a key factor to consider when looking at the ability to


change a failure habit into a success pattern. Did you read the
difference? The one is a habit and the other is a pattern. The stronger
the desire the faster the change will occur. A person who comes face to
face with serious health consequences is highly motivated. With the
desire to live, they can overcome a lack of self-discipline and access
personal power they didnt know they had. What we may think of as a
lack of personal power or self-discipline might just be a lack of real
desire. We can tap into reserves of personal power by getting in touch
with the power of our authentic desire.

Many people want to change, but their competing desires set them up
for defeat and failure. Their claim to lack desire or discipline is simply
not true. They do not notice the effects of conflicting desires on their
habitual choices. If you have ever wanted to lose weight, passing the
sweet tray for a sweet potato may be difficult. If the doctor told you that
the potato would bring you success, and the sweet tray would
guarantee failure, you would change quickly. Your desire for success is
higher than the need for sweets. The desire for the pleasure associated
with the snack competes with the intent to eat healthy.
Finding Your True North

These conflicting desires in the mind set up a conflict of agendas. When


this conflict happens, we use our energy choosing between the two
choices. This simple mental conflict can zap our energy. When we fail,
we beat ourselves up. Our mind condemns us and we drag our
emotions to work and we are convinced that we dont have the self-
discipline or will power to succeed. The problem for many people is not
that they lack personal power and discipline. It is that they have
already talked themselves into being powerless.

The strategy here is simple. When these thoughts and ideas come into
our thinking space, we challenge them. We do NOT need to agree with
them. Failure happens to most people, but it is not who we are. We
need to keep our identity higher than the failure. It needs to be the
focus point.

Personal power is measured by the ability to focus. In the Z generation,


a personal attention span is very short. Technology does the thinking
for us. The complex thinking that was prevalent years ago is now done
on cell phones.

When there are conflicting desires, technology cannot make the


decisions. We need to sort these out, prioritize them, and throw out
those that distract from our identity and self-expression. Artificial
Intelligence (AI) is getting closer to this. Mastery of control in every
situation takes both experience and maturity. To focus for hours at a
time takes experience in making choices that failed.

Most of the time the problem is not self-discipline or lack of personal


power, but the conflicts we have to work through to get to making good
decisions. This means changing habits and desires to focus into one
point. It is not easy and can cause pain as you struggle and others want
to point you in many different directions. If your desire is strong, you put
the element of time on your side instead of against you.

To be effective in developing higher personal power one needs to break


energy-wasting habits. Remember that habits are negative and patterns
Finding Your True North

are positive. Developing patterns versus habits links the energy


throughout the day. Habits take no thought and the energy flow is
distracted. Conflicts result and the energy you need is spent. Changing
routines may be needed, but changing your view of how they work
together is crucial.

People commit to life changes, only to fail because they do not have the
energy to continue. Stop for a moment and write down everything that
takes your energy, both mental and physical.

Everything that takes your energy mental or physical.

_ texting my friends
_________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
________________________________________

Commit to stop doing things that just keep you busy. These are things
you do that fill time but do not help you stay focused. This could be
texting your friends, just because you have time to fill. If you change this
to something that takes less energy and helps you stay focused, you will
begin linking the energy form other parts of the day to the activity
change.

As you gain personal power use it to break other energy draining habits.
Each energy-draining habit that you break will result in more personal
power to break other habits. The key is to change one at a time. Secure
it and build barriers to keep it from becoming a problem. The more
power you recover, the faster you will be able to break other habits in
your life. In this way, the speed of change accelerates. If you stick with
the process, you can make more changes in month four than you did in
the first three months of effort.
Finding Your True North

NW NE

W Conclusion

SW SE
Finding Your True North

It took me 30+ years to begin the road of understanding what The Call
was really about. Born overseas to missionary parents, my life was full of
church. I lived and breathed the phrases and theologies of a variety of
Missions, Denominations, and Churches. The call was something
special that all Christians had, but few really understood. It was couched
in ideas like gifts and the fact that God made each of us as individuals.

In fact, many of the blogs that are religious driven begin with this basic
premise. Other, more secular blogs refer to our position in the universe
and our continued life after death. Still, the idea of finding your call
from philosophy or religion just doesnt give the whole picture.

In the beginning of this book you were tasked with writing about the
opportunities that come into your sphere of influence. This starting
point, versus the God made you special idea is a personal analysis of
your life in real time. We were born with a purpose, that is true. We can
discover this by the opportunities that come to us. There is a philosophy
called Law of Attraction. There are many seminars and books about it.
It is rather simple but simplicity is the problem. We attract what we
focus on is the core of this philosophy. It is also a truism. That is why the
first worksheet is so important, however difficult.

The idea of a call is rooted in the idea that we are not only created for
a purpose, but we find it through both our conscious and unconscious
thought scripts. From this point questions are related to our thoughts,
emotions, and attitudes that are derived from them.

When I began changing how I reacted to opportunities, I became


stronger in my understanding of myself. Many times, when I should
have rested, I drove on. I was purpose-driven, but not understanding
why the purpose was there. My goal was to return to my home of my
birth. The drive to go had me moving in the right directions, but I was
like a bull in a china shop. There was little finesse and my emotion was
driving my decisions.
Finding Your True North

Dont worry! Be happy! is what most of us understood as positive


thinking. Most of us put on a smile, people think we are happy, and we
are safe. The road to discovery is personal. For some it is an easy road.
This comes from a background of nurturing and experience. On the
other hand, it can be very frustrating.

On my journey many people gave me directions, but few ever made sure
I was on the right road. If you have ever been in Korea, it is like saying it
is not far and it has a red sign. I remember the first day of work in Korea.
It was 6 AM and the teacher that was taking me to my employ suggested
we take the bus. We got on bus 83, which would take us close but it
turned before we got there. Bus 82 turned the right way and stopped
almost in front of the school. At noon I was told I could go home. No
mention of which bus, but my house was just over the hill. I did
eventually get home, 2 hours later. In actual walking time it was 20
minutes had I understood the directions.

On my road, many opportunities were missed because I was driven by


emotions. By changing the scripts I was using to find direction, I was able
to slow the drive to think more clearly about decisions and why I made
them. I regained control over my emotions.

Changing scripts is how we regain control of who we are. Looking at our


self we determine our identity and what needs to be changed. We
create change by considering our reactions to circumstances, and how
to change the script into positives. An example is when we get criticism.
If we think that the criticism is about our personal value, we will react
negatively. Even if we smile, we only fool those who are shallow. At the
same time is we consider criticism as having some positive value we will
look for the nugget of positive value and make changes. Negative
emotions about others allows them control us. I do not need to be
controlled by others. I need to be strong enough to not need their
emotion to fuel mine.
Finding Your True North

After 30 years of carrying around a lot of negative emotions, being told


who I was or should be, I took control. I had asked others all the right
questions, but not myself.

I began to set my eyes on goals and ask questions about how I was going
to reach them. I didnt need other people to tell me how I could do
something. I found people who believed in who I thought I was. I didnt
spend time with people who were more interested in challenging ideas
more than moving forward. I still had to function in my job and
relationships, but when I changed how I responded my stress level went
down.

People have told me that I dont get stressed. On the contrary, I have
learned to not let stress control my enjoyment or direction. Changing
my response to negatives allows me to move forward to a position in
which I am more comfortable.

To find your calling means that you understand: What makes you tick?
What makes you respond emotionally? How you respond to stimuli
around you? And where you find the most peace, power, and
confidence.

My confidence came when I decided to determine my self-identity. I


knew my heritage, but I was not linked to that part of my life. When I
discovered the character traits on my maternal side, I understood where
I got my character and owned it. (To own it means that I embraced it
with my heart and soul) The peace came when I tried some of the
opportunities that came to me. I used to run after opportunities, only to
get frustrated and burned out. I had drive and purpose, but no direction.

By asking yourself the questions in this workbook, and be honest about


your answers, you will begin to understand the changes needed to
youre your call. You will become a stronger person, making better
Finding Your True North

decisions based on your self-identity. You will gain control over your
emotions by changing your scripts. These changes can be made by YOU
alone. Others may suggest and guide, but ultimately is is your peace,
power, and confidence that matters.
References by Section

Defining your Call

http://www.mycallingiq.com/calling-through-multiple-lenses/

Ultimate Satisfaction

Richard Leider and David A. Shapiro Berrett-Koehler Publishers,


Inc. on Jan 1, 2001 Whistle While You Work: Heeding Your Life's
Calling

Calling vs Career

http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/find-job-you-love-
and-youll-never-work-day-your-life/
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Find-Your-True-Calling-
Career-Advice#ixzz3uRS1BvMV / Oprah From the November
2009 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Find-Your-True-Calling-
Career-Advice#ixzz3uRSCIDu4 /
http://www.legendtalentmanagement.com/blog/care
er-planning/career-vs-calling-whats-the-difference/
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/07/14/caree
r-vs-calling-is-there-a-difference/

Mission Statement

http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/10-ways-to-
determine-gods-calling-in-your-life-1326623.html
christianity.about.com/od/topicalbiblestudies/a/godcalling.htm
HTTP://WWW.RELEVANTMAGAZINE.COM/NEXT/GROW/4-
STEPS-FINDING-YOUR-CALLING
Finding Your True North

Components of the Call

http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
series/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
discipline/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
humility/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
community/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
sacrifice/
http://www.mycallingiq.com/components-of-calling-
joy/

VI Components of Self Identity

http://www.mindfithypnosis.com/who-am-i-self-identity/
http://www.mindfithypnosis.com/wp-content/uploads/MMPI-2-Test-
Online.png

VII Dreams vs Aspirations

http://learn-your-iq.com/career-finder-tests.html
http://www.answers.com/Q/How_would_you_determine_when
_short_term_or_long_term_goals_should_drive_a_decision
http://ezinearticles.com/?Six-Simple-Ways-to-a-Daily-Positive-
Attitude&id=4189652
http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Greg_Frost/154379

Alison Ottaway January 22, 2013 12:15 PM


http://dorieclark.com/publications/articles/
http://drdilip.com/Balancing_Positional_Power_and_Personal_P
ower.htm
http://www.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_between_
personal_power_and_position_power
Finding Your True North

http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/personal-
power.html#ixzz3udWQYpra

Appendix 1 Interpretation and Extrapolation

Extrapolation of Questionnaire

The following questionnaire (Google form) is designed to provide a basis for


analysis. Keys to problem solving are linked to initiative, critical thinking,
collaboration, emotional response, and confidence.

The two areas covered are problem solving and communication. Both areas are
too broad to cover in a simple questionnaire, but the questionnaire will serve
as a benchmark for program improvement in a changing marketplace.

The title listed below has provided the base questions, which have been
adapted and/or adjusted to meet the focus of this research.

TEST SPECIFICATIONS FOR PROBLEM SOLVING ASSESSMENT


Harold F. O'Neil, Jr. University of Southern California/CRESST
John Schacter CRESST/University of California, Los Angeles

Key words: Initiative, Critical thinking, Collaboration, Emotional response, and


Confidence.

Initiative
1. When faced with new ideas I __ wait for solutions to be suggested. *
4. When faced with a challenge I use ____ of my time planning. *
6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would use is
_______ *
7. When faced with a speed challenge to solve the problem I _____________ *
9. When given a challenge I ________follow my team *
11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested _____ amount
of time into one *
14. When given a challenge I am not interested in, I ___________ *
15. I judge the value of my work by ___________ *
Finding Your True North

Critical thinking
3. If I am given incomplete information I ______ *
4. When faced with a challenge I use ____ of my time planning. *
11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested _____ amount
of time into one *

Collaboration
2. When given misleading information my reaction is __________ *
5. When faced with a challenge I use _______ trying different solutions. *
6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would use is
_______ *
7. When faced with a speed challenge to solve the problem I _____________ *
9. When given a challenge I ________follow my team *
10. When given a challenge I stick with my assignment only. *
13. When given a challenge I know a lot about, I ____________________ *
17. When given a challenge I do the __________ tasks first. *
18. When I do what I can, it is considered ___________ *
19. I __________ ask for a second opinion *

Emotional Response
2. When given misleading information my reaction is __________ *
8. When faced with a challenge I _________ *
10. When given a challenge I stick with my assignment only. *
14. When given a challenge I am not interested in, I ___________ *
15. I judge the value of my work by ___________ *
16. When other people criticize my judgment I ___________ *

Confidence
1. When faced with new ideas I __ wait for solutions to be suggested. *
6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would use is
_______ *
12. Failure is the ______ of success. *
13. When given a challenge I know a lot about, I ____________________ *
19. I __________ ask for a second opinion *
20. My opinion is ___________ important *
Finding Your True North

Interpreting the points

Each question has been given a key focus word. Each question has four (4)
choices, which have been given a value (1-4). Each question has been set into
key value group. The maximum points for each group will be different, because
the numbers of questions vary in each group. Each group has been given an
interpretation of competency (High / Medium / Low). These interpretations
will help determine the students readiness in the category of Problem-Solving.

Initiative (8 Questions x 4 Responses)

The maximum value is 32. If a student scores higher than 28 (28~32) their
responses show that they taking initiative is a strength. These students would
be rated High.

If the student scores above 18 but below 28 (18~28) their responses would
show that they take initiative, but lack confidence in themselves and would
rely more on collaboration. They would be rated a Medium.

If a student scores over 9 but less than 18 (9~18) their responses would show
that they are hesitant at leadership, will probably need strong encouragement
to move forward, and lack discipline. Students who score Low (0~9) in their
responses show they are not competent in leadership or management. They
would perhaps be better suited for a mundane job.

Critical Thinking (3 Questions x 4 Responses)

Critical Thinking has the fewest assigned questions. It is however linked to all of
the groups. If a student scores 10 or higher, their scores demonstrate strong
critical thinkers. These students may score High in collaboration, but may
lack initiative. These students are planners and thinkers and may struggle with
communication of complex ideas.

If the student scores between7 and 10 their answers will demonstrate a desire
to put an effort into critical thinking, lacking confidence to take initiative or
communicate their ideas. These students would be in the Medium level of
competency.
Finding Your True North

Students who score under 7 points, or Low, in this group show they are
followers. They prefer to follow the crowd, doing what they are told and lack
maturity of character and mind to be competent.

Collaboration (10 Questions x 4 Responses)

Collaboration has been assigned the greatest number of points. Collaboration


and Competency go hand in hand with Confidence, Initiative, and Critical
thinking. Scores in these other areas should be considered. Scoring High in
collaboration demonstrates a willingness to be a team member. The danger is
that if a student is strong in collaboration, without strengths in other areas, the
student will rely on team members and lack leadership. Students who score
above 30 (30~40) demonstrate a strong team player attitude. They
demonstrate a maturity to be the quiet leader.

Students who score between 20 and 30 (20~30) demonstrate a need for


collaboration, but lack the focus for leadership. They are competent but lack
drive and discipline. These students would be deemed Medium in
competency. This can in interpreted that they have the ability, but lack
leadership material.

Students who score under 20 (0~20) in their responses lack initiative,


confidence in their ability, and maturity. They should consider carefully the job
they choose. They would be considered Low in competency .

Emotional Response (6 Questions x 4 Responses)

Emotional responses demonstrate a level of maturity. They also are an


indication of character. A student who score 20 or higher would be considered
in control of their emotions, which is demonstrates a High level of maturity
and stability. A student who has maturity of emotions is a good choice on
leadership.

A student who scores between 12 and 20 (12~20) would be considered as


having balance, but struggles with control. This student is a good team player,
has a relatively good level of confidence, and hesitant to be a leader. The
student would be considered Medium in level of competency.

A student who scores under 12 (0-11) would be considered in danger of flying-


off-the-handle, or losing control under stress. The job they would be best in
Finding Your True North

would be one with high positive emotional support. They lack the maturity to
control their emotions well. Their level of competency would be Low

Confidence (6 Questions x 4 Responses)

Confidence comes from maturity. If a student has confidence, it needs to be


balanced with emotional responses and initiative. The danger is over-
confidence. A student who scores above 20 (20~24) has a good view of
themselves and their ideas. This score should be compared with that of
Collaboration. A student would be considered High in competency, with a
caveat of maturity and balance. (This would be the comparison of the
Collaboration score.)

A student who scores between 12 and 20 (12~20) demonstrates limited self-


confidence, but perhaps high in collaboration. This person is a leader waiting
for the assignment. They are competent but may be overlooked. They will
attract others for team related projects because if their maturity and balance.
They would be rated Medium in competency level.

A student who scores under 12 (0-11) in this group of questions lacks


confidence and self-esteem. They may have good ideas, but are quiet and
prefer to follow. They may score high in Collaboration, but low in other areas
that demonstrate maturity of character. They would rate Low in competency
level.

Problem Solving Questionnaire


1. When faced with new ideas I __ wait for solutions to be suggested. *
a. always
b. sometimes
c. usually
d. never
Extrapolation
When answering this question the student is challenged to
consider their reaction. Initiative is the key to finding solutions in
competency. Choosing always as a response communicates a weak
initiative and lack of confidence in ability. Choosing usually is a more
Finding Your True North

appropriate response as it communicates both confidence and


sensitivity to position. Choosing never communicates a possible
overconfidence. Choosing sometimes lack firmness of decision-making.
Key: Initiative / Confidence Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)

2. When given misleading information my reaction is __________ *


a. anger
b. "Let's find the truth!"
c. "It's not my responsibility"
d. "It was a miscommunication."
Extrapolation
Problem solving is often inhibited by reactions to incomplete
communication. How we react will bring solutions closer, complicate the
development of solutions, make solutions harder to achieve due to
energy spent on lessening the impasse in a team environment.
Collaboration being the key to finding quicker and more competent
solutions to problems requires less emotional reaction. Choosing anger
demonstrates immaturity. Choosing "It was a miscommunication"
demonstrates a balance of emotion allowing the focus of collaboration,
distribution of tasks, and movement toward a solution to be maintained. "Let's
find the truth!" has a good ruing but has a danger of allowing the emotions to
run out of control taking the focus away from the solution and on the
responsibility for the problem. "It's not my responsibility" demonstrates a lack
of ownership and complacency, which are detrimental to finding a solution.
Key: Emotional Response /Collaboration Points (4 d, 3 b, 2 c, 1 a)

3. If I am given incomplete information I ______ *


a. spend a lot of time analyzing what is missing.
b. ask my colleagues.
c. look at the given information and determine a
response.
d. ignore the information.
Finding Your True North

Extrapolation
Incomplete information requires a person to find the missing
information, which affects the deadline, or ignore the blanks and make
assumptions to stay on track. To demonstrate competency a student
should be careful about making assumptions. To say I assumed so I did
is not a good reason or an excuse. Therefore, the choice of look at the
given information and determine a response is the best answer. Making an
analysis of what is missing to understand the task better is most important.
Spending a lot of time analyzing will get a person bogged down and off track.
Ask colleagues for input is good, while ignoring the missing information can
create good solutions which are not required for the task. Ignoring the missing
information and moving forward is better than going in circles ending with no
solution, even a wrong one.
Key: Critical thinking Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 d, 1 a)

4. When faced with a challenge I use ____ of my time planning. *


a. a lot
b. a little
c. most
d. almost none

Extrapolation
Problem solving in a real job requires efficient use of time. The time it
takes to plan may not be a lot but some time is needed to be efficient in
resources. Our choices and habits reflect our ability to solve problems under
pressure. Spending too much time often makes for a rush in a time-sensitive
project. Spending a little time demonstrates a habit of looking at the problem
as a whole before breaking it down to create solutions. A lot of time reflects a
need to understand details, which may be important, but can also be
determined through process. Most of time planning means a rush to finish and
added stress on the team if things do not work out perfectly the first time.
Almost none shows the student rushes to get going and may use resources
unwisely, creating budget shortfalls or cost overruns due to constant
adjustments.
Key: Critical thinking / Initiative Points (4 b, 3 a, 2 c, 1 d)
Finding Your True North

5. When faced with a challenge I use _______ trying different solutions. *


a. a lot of time
b. minimal time
c. a set amount of time
d. a varied amount of time
Extrapolation
This question is similar to the previous one. The difference is the
previous one is the amount of time a person uses before the project begins.
This question infers that the process is moving forward with a variety of
options. Pursuing one option at a time is the most efficient. It is understood
that at times one option may need time to develop, which gives the
opportunity to pursue a second. The choices in this question reflect a persons
habit of solving problems systematically or randomly. Randomly is seen as
confusing the team or collaborators. A varied amount of time would reflect the
nature of problems. Some problems need more time while others require less.
Using a set time would reflect good time management, but with added
stressors if adjustments need to be made. Minimal time would reflect a more
erratic problem-solving style. A lot of time can be seen as never getting
anything done or leaving projects undone without adequate process to test a
solutions value.
Key: Collaboration Points (4 d, 3 c, 2 b, 1 a)

6. When faced with a challenge, the sequence of problem-solving I would


use is _______ *
a. (1) Exploration (2) Extraction (3) Simplification
(4) Organization
b. (1) Extraction (2) Exploration (3) Organization
(4) Simplification
c. (1) Simplification (2) Exploration (3) Extraction
(4) Organization
d. (1) Organization (2) Exploration (3) Extraction
(4) Simplification
Finding Your True North

Extrapolation
The selection of choices was made from a lost of theoretical approaches listed
in TEST SPECIFICATIONS FOR PROBLEM SOLVING ASSESSMENT
(Schacter/ONeil, Jr.) listed above. The systematic way of problem solving will
denote the efficiency of resources, leadership qualities, and use of time.
Exploration, extraction, simplification, and organization demonstrate a similar
view to the previous questions. A person with these habits would look at the
problem extract possible solution paths and obstacles, simplify the process to
get there, organize their time or team to achieve the solution. This is very
systematic and efficient. Other choices allow the focus to move from the goal
and possibly leave projects finished but not ready. There is no clear
communication to solve the problem.
Key: Initiative / Collaboration / Confidence Points (4 a, 3 c, 2 b, 1 d)

7. When faced with a speed challenge to solve the problem I


___________ *
a. ignore my team.
b. work alone communicating only solutions.
c. list all the solutions, designate work to teammates,
help teammates who need ideas.
d. list all the solutions, communicate them with
colleagues, stay only on my designated work.
Extrapolation
Speed is not always an issue, but in todays world, time is vital to
getting projects out to market. For many speed decisions are often done alone.
Teams take time to organize and distribute tasks. The answers reflect a
persons proclivity to act. Listing all the solutions, designating work, but open
to help those who are slower to process demonstrates leadership. Listing all
the solutions allows other members to give input, but time is not spent looking
at all the issues of each suggestion. Staying on my designated work can be
good element, but can develop unequal involvement in the solution as it
develops slowing the project down. Working alone is easier, and though it
shows initiative and responsibility disconnects from other possible better
solutions. Ignore the team shows lack of responsibility.
Key: Collaboration / Initiative Points (4 c, 3 d, 2 b, 1 a)
Finding Your True North

8. When faced with a challenge I _________ *


a. withdraw.
b. separate the task into pieces.
c. ask colleagues.
d. wait for a better one.
Extrapolation
Problem solving brings pressure on a person. Our reaction to pressure
will help or hinder the process. Asking colleagues allows outside input to be
considered. Not all input is important or relevant, but more than one idea can
often help. Separate the tasks into pieces will also be a good idea. Smaller
pieces allows for a better view and easier to gauge progression. Withdraw
demonstrates maturity and lack of responsibility. Withdrawing indicates lack of
willingness to risk failure. Waiting for a better opportunity demonstrates a lack
of motivation and the project will never get done as none seem important
enough.
Key: Emotional response Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)

9. When given a challenge I ________follow my team *


a. always
b. often
c. never
d. like to work alone but

Extrapolation
Leading and following are both good traits. Never taking leadership
demonstrates lack of initiative, which is a vital attitude in problem solving. How
often a person consults with the team is not the focus of the question. It is
however, important to stay in touch. Working alone is a positive but the
danger is not consulting enough. Always and never are extremes. Always
denotes a total dependence on the team leaving the team to take the initiative.
Never demonstrates arrogance and boldness. The acceptance of failure and
risk, which may be unnecessary.
Key: Initiative / Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)
Finding Your True North

10. When given a challenge I stick with my assignment only. *


a. Agree
b. Disagree
c. Communication with others is crucial.
d. Why bother others when my work needs to be
finished?

Extrapolation
Attitude is the focus of the question. Attitude is key to problem solving. As
noted before many people like to work alone. They want to see if their ideas
work before exposing a failure. Communication with others during the process
of problem solving is crucial. Communication can refocus arising problems
without delaying the project. Why bother others shows an attitude of being
respectful, but ignores the reality of how valuable other input can be. Disagree
is a good choice but does not indulge in anything but simple disagreement.
Agree is the same as simplicity is not what is needed in problem solving.
Key: Emotional Response / Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 d, 2 b, 1 a)

11. When given a challenge I ask questions after I have invested _____
amount of time into one *
a. a lot of time
b. a little time
c. zero
d. a set time
Extrapolation
Problem solving requires initiative. Taking the first steps to understand
the problem gives more value to the discussion than just talking about it.
Spending a little time will allow ideas to develop for input. Having a set time
allows for good time management, but this does not imply that ideas are ready
to be discussed. A lot of time can be great, but often the investment could be
invested more effectively with more input. Asking questions from the outset
often complicates the problem. A bit of knowledge adds to the discussion for
clarification.
Key: Initiative / Critical thinking Points (4 b, 3 d, 2 a, 1 c)
Finding Your True North

12. Failure is the ______ of success. *


a. end
b. beginning
c. a speed bump
d. take away
Extrapolation
Most success stories have a string of failures. Failure increases the
challenge and therefore is the beginning of success. Because there are often
many failures it can also be a sign the solutions are not well thought out or too
simple. Speed bumps are designed to slow a person down. For some failure is
the end of success and they give up. Competency is not about giving up. The
take away or focus of success is not failure, but the process of how failure
contributed to success.
Key: Confidence Points (4 b, 3 c, 2 a, 1 d)

13. When given a challenge I know a lot about, I


____________________ *
a. rush to finish
b. consult my team more
c. consult my team less
d. I take leadership and designate work to my team
Extrapolation
Over exuberance can be a blessing. At other times, it can lead to
ignoring the simple things that make solving the problem easier. If I take
leadership and designate work to my team demonstrate not only maturity, but
also the depth of my knowledge as I work with them toward solving the
problem. Knowing more should help me consult more with my team. Sharing
knowledge creates more creativity as a team. Consulting the team less, shows
that I have the knowledge but do not have a clear understanding of the
process. Mistakes are made when rushing to finish.
Key: Confidence / Collaboration Points ( 4 d, 3 b, 2 c, 1 a)
Finding Your True North

14. When given a challenge I am not interested in, I ___________ *


a. put it on the back burner to do later.
b. give all the work to my teammates.
c. see it as a new challenge.
d. dont do it and wait for a more interesting challenge.
Extrapolation
Initiative is difficult when a person is not interested in it. Often the
response is slow and the problems do not get solved quickly. Solving the
problem becomes the problem even before you start the challenge. The
response a person makes to this question determines, not their skill to find
solutions, but develop better solutions. If the person sees challenges as new
ideas to develop solutions and ideas, the person will be more creative and
positive in the process. This attitude will also extend to problems later in the
project. Giving ALL the work to teammates may take the person out of the
solution loop creating animosity in the team, because it creates an unequal
balance. Putting the challenge on the back burner demonstrates a focus on
personal happiness not Company goals. What may not be interesting to the
person may be vitally important in their job. Not doing the challenge may end
the employment of the person. Choosing only projects and challenges, which
one enjoys, is rarely an option demonstrating a lack of personal growth for
future promotions.
Key: Initiative / Emotional Response Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)

15. I judge the value of my work by ___________ *


a. its effectiveness.
b. my happiness.
c. other people's praise.
d. the reaction/ comments I get about how easy or hard
it is to understand.
Extrapolation
Personal value is important in problem solving. The value you put on
your work will determine your level of involvement, reaction to failure, and the
solutions you develop. Effectiveness is a key part of creating good solutions.
This means that there is a cultural value to the solution. Focusing on the
Finding Your True North

reaction or comments as to how easy or hard it is to understand may be more


communication not solution. Looking at your solutions, seeing them work gives
personal satisfaction. If it ends at this point, better solutions are not
considered. Other peoples praise is a great thing. They miss the complexity, or
the work put into the project, then criticize harshly if it does not meet all the
expectations. Usually peoples praise is shallow.
Key: Confidence / Emotional Response Points (4 a, 3 d, 2 b, 1 c)

16. When other people criticize my judgment I ___________ *


a. withdraw
b. see it as a challenge to do better
c. become angry but smile outwardly
d. consider all criticism as valuable
Extrapolation
Criticism can slow problem solving down. How a person responds or
views criticism is a key to finding solutions. Considering all criticism as having
some value is important. Criticism can reset the goals, refocus the energy, or
create unbalanced emotions. If a person sees criticism as a challenge to do
better it is a stimulus to self-improvement. Anger is often a response to
criticism. Holding the anger inside is a shortstop solution. Anger most often
inhibits good problem solving. Withdrawing from the process hinders personal
development, demonstrates a lack of maturity, and takes the value out of
problem solving.
Key: Emotional response Points (4 d, 3 b, 2 c, 1 a)

17. When given a challenge I do the __________ tasks first. *


a. easy
b. hard
c. sequence
d. none of the above
Extrapolation
Choice of tasks is important in problem solving. Often problems can be
split into easy and hard tasks. Working in a team or individually the choice will
keep you on track or become distracted by other projects or problems.
Finding Your True North

Sequence demonstrates a person has made a strategy for solving the problem.
Choosing the most difficult tasks first allow for a more relaxing finish. A
possible problem will be the time allotment, which can be critical in a time
sensitive project. Choosing the easy solutions first often disappoints and
creates an emotional low when the more difficult tasks are in front of the
person. Often there is no only way solution. Persons can always choose their
personal style to solve the problem.
Key: Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)

18. When I do what I can, it is considered ___________ *


a. a finished project
b. time for coffee
c. time for collaboration
d. time to move to the next project
Extrapolation
When problem solving it is important to understand that we all have
limits. When I am finished with my solutions, or run out of ideas what is my
response. At the point I am finished what I can do collaboration demonstrates
that there may be more to the problem or a better solution, hopefully
collaboration has been ongoing. Enjoying time for coffee is a good time to
rethink a persons effort. It does not mean the end or that a solution is finished.
It does demonstrate a need for review of the process to a point. For some, the
solution is finished when the ideas have been tried and probabilities of success
established. Most solutions are rated good, better, and best. Time to move to
the next project, means that a person has exhausted all angles and ideas.
Before moving, it is better to check to make sure the solution is what has been
asked for.
Key: Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 b, 2 a, 1 d)

19. I __________ ask for a second opinion *


a. always
b. never
c. most often
d. rarely
Finding Your True North

Extrapolation
Asking opinions is important in problem solving. Asking for a second
opinion constantly will create stress. Initiative is important and asking for a
second opinion when an initiative has been taken is important. Never asking
for opinions demonstrates a persons lack of perspective of the problem.
Creative solutions come after initiative and process has begun. Rarely asking
for second opinions can lead to limited solutions.
Key: Confidence / Collaboration Points (4 c, 3 a, 2 d, 1 b)

20. My opinion is ___________ important *


a. very
b. not very
c. equally
d. most

Extrapolation
Equality and democracy in a team is important. It is equally important that
opinions and responses are reviewed based on a persons experience and
knowledge. Personal opinions are important. Equally important is a good idea
when a person has been asked for input. Each person has their own view, way
of thinking and processing, and ideas. Not very important denotes a person
who does not value themselves or their team. The opposite of not very is most
important. If the persons opinions are most important, it could lead to missed
opportunities in solving the problem.
Key: Confidence Points (4 a, 3 c, 2 b, 1 a)
Finding Your True North

There are many books offered by the authors in the references. Here are
a few more.

StrengthsFinder 2.0 By Tom Rath


Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day? Chances
are, you don't. All too often, our natural talents go untapped. From the
cradle to the cubicle, we devote more time to fixing our shortcomings
than to developing our strengths. To help people uncover their talents,
Gallup introduced the first version of its online assessment,
StrengthsFinder, in 2001 which ignited a global conversation and helped
millions to discover their top five talents. In its latest national
bestseller, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Gallup unveils the new and improved
version of its popular assessment, language of 34 themes, and much
more (see below for details). While you can read this book in one sitting,
you'll use it as a reference for decades. Loaded with hundreds of
strategies for applying your strengths, this new book and accompanying
website will change the way you look at yourself--and the world around
you--forever.

Now, Discover Your Strengths By Marcus Buckingham and Donald


Clifton
The publication of Now, Discover Your Strengths in 2001 launched a
worldwide strengths revolution. To date, more than 11 million people
have discovered their strengths, and thousands more are discovering
theirs every week. Gallup Press has published numerous strengths books,
and Gallup Strengths Center has become a worldwide destination for
strengths-based development.

First, Break All the Rules By Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman
In First, Break All the Rules, Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman of the
Gallup Organization present the remarkable findings of their massive in
depth study of great managers. Buckingham and Coffman explain how
the best managers select an employee for talent rather than for skills or
experience; how they set expectations', how they motivate people by
building on each person's unique strengths; and, finally, how great
managers find the right fit for each person, not the next rung on the
ladder. First, Break All The Rules provides vital performance and career
lessons for managers at every level.
Finding Your True North

Positive Psychology: Exploring the Best in People By Shane Lopez


Social scientists have learned more about how people respond to
emotional experiences in productive ways. They now know more than
they once did about curbing the effects of negative emotions, about
making the most of positive emotions, and about how these practices
lead to positive life outcomes. Given these discoveries, this set
addresses the strengths, emotions, positive growth, and human
flourishing of positive psychology.

The Encyclopedia of Positive Psychology By Shane Lopez


Positive psychology, the pursuit of understanding optimal human
functioning, is reshaping the scholarly and public views of how we see
the science of psychology. The Encyclopedia of Positive Psychology
provides a comprehensive and accessible summary of this growing area
of scholarship and practice.

Well-being for Public Policy By Ed Diener, Richard Lucas, Ulrich


Schimmack, John Helliwell
In this volume, the authors explain the reasons why subjective indicators
of well-being are needed. They describe how these indicators can offer
useful input and provide examples of policy uses of well-being measures.
The book then delves into objections to the use of subjective well-being
indicators for policy purposes and discusses why these objections are
not warranted. Finally, the book contains answers pertaining to the
measures that are currently in use and describes the types of measures
that are most likely to be valuable in the policy domain.

Lifespan Development: Infancy Through Adulthood By Laurence


Steinberg, Marc Bornstein, Deborah Lowe Vandell and Karen Rook
The combined features that distinguish this text from other titles can be
summarized with an acronym: CARE: Cutting edge research Applied
developmental science Readability Essential knowledge. Written by
respected child, adolescent, and adulthood development experts, this
authoritative and chronologically organized text presents an integrated
perspective on lifespan development.
Finding Your True North

Positive Psychological Assessment: A Handbook of Models and


Measures
By Shane Lopez and Charles Snyder

Contributors examine the scientific underpinnings and practical


application of measures of hope, optimism, self-efficacy, problem-
solving, locus of control, creativity, wisdom, courage, positive emotion,
self-esteem, love, emotional intelligence, empathy, attachment,
forgiveness, humor, gratitude, faith, morality, coping, well-being and
quality of life. Vocational and multicultural applications of positive
psychological assessment are also discussed, as is the measurement of
contextual variables that may facilitate the development or
enhancement of human strength.

Culture and Subjective Well-Being (Well Being and Quality of Life)


By Ed Diener and Eunkook M. Suh

This book is based on the idea that we can empirically study quality of
life and make cross-society comparisons of subjective well-being (SWB).
A potential problem in studying SWB across societies is that of cultural
relativism: if societies have different values, the members of those
societies will use different criteria in evaluating the success of their
society. By examining, however, such aspects of SWB as whether people
believe they are living correctly, whether they enjoy their lives, and
whether others important to them believe they are living well, SWB can
represent the degree to which people in a society are achieving the
values they hold dear. The contributors analyze SWB in relation to
money, age, gender, democracy, and other factors. Among the
interesting findings is that although wealthy nations are on average
happier than poor ones, people do not get happier as a wealthy nation
grows wealthier.
Finding Your True North

Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence

By Laurence Steinberg

A leading authority draws on new research to explain why the


adolescent years are so developmentally crucial, and what we must do
to raise happier, more successful kids.

Are You Fully Charged? The 3 Keys to Energizing Your Work and Life
By Tom Rath

Tom Rath, author of five influential bestsellers, reveals the three keys
that matter most for our daily health and well-being, as well as our
engagement in our work. Drawing on the latest and most practical
research from health, psychology, and economics, this book focuses on
changes we can make to create better days for ourselves and others. Are
You Fully Charged? will challenge you to stop pursuing happiness and
start creating meaning instead, lead you to rethink your daily
interactions with the people who matter most, and show you how to
put your own health first in order to be your best every day.

To Forgive is Human: How to Put Your Past in the Past

By Michael McCullough, Steven Sandage and Everett Worthington Jr.

Grounding their analysis and advice in the latest psychological research,


the authors of To Forgive Is Humanreveal how you can forgive and begin
to repair broken relationships

Positively Happy: Routes to Sustainable Happiness


By Sonja Lyubomirsky and Jaime Kurtz

In this book, experts Jaime Kurtz and best-selling author Sonja


Lyubomirsky provide a crash course in increasing personal happiness.
They offer a variety of happiness self-tests, specific tools for boosting
happiness, and a research based argument that pursuing happiness is
beneficial. These workbooks introduce readers to a variety of solid
Finding Your True North

science and useful tools for improving life, relationships, and overall
mental health.

The Psychology of Courage: Modern Research on an Ancient Virtue


By Cynthia Pury and Shane Lopez

From the mundane to the most heroic feats, this book synthesizes
recent advances in our understanding of the psychology of courageous
actions and related pro-social behaviors.

Understanding Emotions By Dacher Keltner, Keith Oatley and Jennifer


M. Jenkins

The 3rd edition of Understanding Emotions emphasizes the value of


emotions and explores the latest research with practical concerns for
clinical problems, education and everyday understanding. The text
extends across abroad range of disciplines and covers the entire lifespan
from infancy to adulthood. It includes sections on the study of emotion,
the different elements of emotion, evidence of how emotions govern
and organize social life, and emotion and individual functioning,
including psychological disorders and well-being.

Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity


By Robert A. Emmons

This book explores evidence-based practices in a compelling and


accessible way and provides a step-by-step guide to cultivating gratitude
in peoples lives. Gratitude Works! is filled with practical tips for
fostering gratitude as a way of life and includes scientific research as
well as religious and philosophical insights to show how gratitude can
work in our lives.

How to be a Positive Leader


By Jane Dutton, Gretchen SSpreitzer, and Shawn Achor

Positive leaders are able to dramatically expand their peoplesand


their owncapacity for excellence. And they accomplish this without
enormous expenditures or huge heroic gestures. Here leading
Finding Your True North

scholarsincluding Adam Grant, author of the bestselling Give and Take;


positive organizational scholarship movement cofounders Kim Cameron
and Robert Quinn; and thirteen moredescribe how this is being done
at companies such as Wells Fargo, Ford, Kelly Services, Burts Bees,
Connecticuts Griffin Hospital, the Michigan-based Zingermans
Community of Businesses, and many others. They show that, like the
butterfly in Brazil whose flapping wings create a typhoon in Texas, you
can create profound positive change in your organization through simple
actions and attitude shifts.

Well-Being: The Foundations of Hedonic Psychology


Editted by Daniel Kahneman, Ed Diener and Norbert Schwarz

This book is a collection of the research on defining and measuring


hedonic psychology and subjective well-being.

Positive Leadership: Strategies for Extraordinary Performance By Kim


Cameron

Positive Leadership shows how to reach beyond ordinary success to


achieve extraordinary effectiveness, spectacular results, and what Kim
Cameron calls positively deviant performanceperformance far
above the norm. Citing a wide range of research in organizational
behavior, medical science, and psychology as well as real-world
examples, Cameron shows that to achieve exceptional success, leaders
must emphasize strengths rather than simply focus on weaknesses;
foster virtuous actions such as compassion, gratitude, and forgiveness;
encourage contribution goals in addition to achievement goals; and
enable meaningfulness in work. In this concise, inspiring, and practical
guide, Cameron describes four positive leadership strategies, lays out a
proven process for implementing them, and includes a self-assessment
instrument.

Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness By Tal Ben-
Shahar

Drawing on the latest psychological research, Ben-Shahar shows how


making the right choicesnot the big, once-in-a-lifetime choices, but
the countless small choices we make every day almost without
Finding Your True North

noticinghas a direct, long-lasting impact on our happiness. Every single


moment is an opportunity to make a conscious choice for a happy and
fulfilled life. Choose the Life You Want covers 101 such choices,
complete with real-life stories, to help you identify and act on
opportunities large and small.

Adaptation to Life By George Vaillant

Adaptation to Life, poses fundamental questions about the individual


differences in confronting life's stresses. Why do some of us cope so well
with the portion life offers us, while others, who have had similar
advantages (or disadvantages), cope badly or not at all? Are there ways
we can effectively alter those patterns of behavior that make us
unhappy, unhealthy, and unwise? George Vaillant discusses these and
other questions in terms of a clearly defined scheme of "adaptive
mechanisms" that are rated mature, neurotic, immature, or psychotic,
and illustrates, with case histories, each method of coping.

The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting By Laurence Steinberg

In The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting, Dr. Steinberg distills


decades of research into a parenting book that explains the
fundamentals of raising happy, healthy children, giving readers an
invaluable map to help them navigate parenthood from infancy to
adolescence.

The Battle for Human Nature: Science, Morality, and Modern Life
By Barry Schwartz

Out of the investigations and speculations of contemporary science, a


challenging view of human behavior and society has emerged and
gained strength. It is a view that equates human nature utterly and
unalterably with the pursuit of self-interest. Influenced by this view,
people increasingly appeal to natural imperatives, instead of moral ones,
to explain and justify their actions and those of others.
Finding Your True North

Scientific Approaches to Consciousness By Jonathan Cohen and


Jonathan Schooler

Recent developments in both the empirical and theoretical


methodologies of the fields of psychology and neuroscience have made
it possible to begin to study the phenomenon associated with -- if not
directly underlying -- consciousness in a scientific fashion.

Strengths Based Leadership By Tom Rath and Barry Conchie

In recent years, while continuing to learn more about strengths, Gallup


scientists have also been examining decades of data on the topic of
leadership. They studied more than 1 million work teams, conducted
more than 20,000 in-depth interviews with leaders, and even
interviewed more than 10,000 followers around the world to ask
exactly why they followed the most important leader in their life.
The results of that research are unveiled in Strengths Based Leadership.
Using Gallups discoveries, authors Tom Rath and Barry Conchie identify
three keys to being a more effective leader and use firsthand accounts
from highly successful leaders including the founder of Teach For
America and the president of The Ritz-Carlton to show how each
persons unique strengths can drive their success.

Facts, Values, and Norms: Essays toward a Morality of Consequence


By Peter Railton

We struggle daily with the notions of why we do what we do and of


assigning values to our actions, although it seems possible through
experience to gain knowledge and understanding of such matters. Peter
Railton's study reveals how a naturalistically informed view of the world
might incorporate objective values and moral knowledge.

Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct By Michael


McCullough

Psychologist Michael McCullough argues that the key to a more


forgiving, less vengeful world is to understand the evolutionary forces
that gave rise to these intimately human instincts and the social forces
that activate them in human minds today. Drawing on exciting
breakthroughs from the social and biological sciences, McCullough
Finding Your True North

dispenses surprising and practical advice for making the world a more
forgiving place.

The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology By Shane Lopez and


Charles Snyder

The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology provides a roadmap for the


psychology needed by the majority of the population - those who don't
need treatment but want to achieve the lives to which they aspire.
Topics include not only happiness but also hope, strengths, positive
emotions, life longings, creativity, emotional creativity, courage, and
more, plus guidelines for applying what has worked for people across
time and cultures.

Applied Positive Psychology: Integrated Positive Practice By Tim Lomas,


Kate Hefferon, and Itai Ivtzan

This exciting new textbook, written by leading academics in the UK,


offers the very first authored title on applied positive psychology for
university courses. Consisting of the latest cutting-edge theory and
research in the subject and structured around a pioneering
multidimensional model of wellbeing, this book will provide you with
the knowledge and tools to apply positive psychology in many areas of
life. These include interventions aimed at developing mental and
physical functioning, to recommendations for enhancing relationships
and reshaping organizational structures. The book shows how these
practices can be successfully deployed in diverse real-world settings,
from the classroom to the workplace.

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