RS

HOUF
O T
A
GREDING
RE A

How One Man Never

Gave Up on LPs
PAGE 38

Can Science The Doc or

Explain Why Who Tooo o
We Cry? Big Tob cco
o
PAGE 46 PAGE

This Babys Survi al

Shocked an Entire ospit
PAGE 64

Surprising and Latest Strokee

Playful Honolulu Breakthrough h
PAGE 88 PAGE 83

Instant Answers: Mosquitoes ................................. 522

Bonus Read: Journey to Kokoda ............................ 1022
Movies, Books and News ....................................... 116
6
Explore, Interact, Inspire

Available now, everywhere

 Contents MARCH 2017

Power of One
32 SHE TOOK ON TOBACCO
When a cancer specialist learned of the vast
P. | 46
sums of our money being invested in tobacco,
she knew she had to act. H E L E N S I G N Y

Cover Story
38 THE KING OF VINYL
Vinyl is dead? Not according to superfan
Zdenek Pelc whose precious presses
are taking full advantage of a burgeoning
vinyl revival. T I M B O U Q U E T

Science
46 WHY WE CRY
Humans are the only creatures whose tears
can be triggered by their feelings. But why?
M A N DY OA K L A N D E R F R O M T I M E

Instant Answers
52 MOSQUITOES
All the latest buzz on these tiny but dangerous
little flies. HAZEL FLYNN
P. | 52
Look Twice
54 SEE THE WORLD DIFFERENTLY
A peek over (very distant) new horizons.

Life Lessons
60 DO THE RIGHT THING
How to stay true to your most deeply held
values and choose the right path. LUC RINALDI

Drama in Real Life

64 11 HOURS IN ROOM 407
COVER: iSTOCK

Born at 26 weeks and given zero chance

of survival, baby Austin was cuddled by his
parents, who waited for the end. And waited.
And waited TIM BOTOS F R O M C A N TO N R E P.CO M

March2017 1
 Contents
MARCH 2017

Art of Living
P. | 74 72 13 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW
ABOUT ANGER MANAGEMENT
From momentary outbursts to useful
motivators how you experience anger can
depend on how its processed. A N D R E A B E N N E T T

Nature
74 THE MOST AMAZING TREES!
A photographic look at the wonderful trees
that give us life, shade and endless enjoyment.

Life Skills
81 DONT GET TROUNCED AT SCRABBLE
When it comes to winning consistently at
Scrabble, being a top-notch speller is only
half the battle. L AU R A L E E

Health
83 UNLOCKING PARALYSIS
Meet Mr Clean, a game-changing clot retrieval
P. | 102 device invented by accident that has changed
the face of stroke treatment. L I SA F I T T E R M A N

Travel
88 THE OTHER HONOLULU
Theres much more to Hawaiis capital city
than its famous sheltered harbour. JA N I E A L L E N

Society
97 THE END OF PARKING
Could self-driving vehicles and ride-sharing
allow us to un-pave paradise? C L I V E T H O M P S O N
FROM MOTHER JONES

Bonus Read
102 JOURNEY THROUGH KOKODA
A promise is fulfilled along the physically and
emotionally gruelling 96-km track. S I M O N B O U DA

2 | March2017
 THE DIGEST
Health
18 Ins and outs of insulin; managing
make-up allergies; medical news
Home
23 Dishwasher dos and donts
Food
24 Pumpkin penne; salmon fusilli
Travel
26 Southeast Asias holiday hotspots
Tech
28 Avoiding data-loss disasters
Pets
29 Pawsome tips to care for pets
Money
30 Finding the right (affordable)
insurance for older travellers
Out & About
116 All thats best in books, films, DVDs
and unexpected news

REGULARS
4 Letters
P. | 26
8 Finish This Sentence
10 My Story
14 Kindness of Strangers
16 Smart Animals
71 Quotable Quotes
96 Thats Outrageous!
114 Unbelievable
122 Puzzles, Trivia & Word Power

HUMOUR
44 Lifes Like That
58 All in a Days Work
80 Laughter, the Best Medicine

CONTESTS
5 Caption and Letter Competition SEE
PAGE 6
P. | 44
6 Submit Your Jokes and Stories

March2017 | 3
 Letters
READERS COMMENTS AND OPINIONS

Worth Burning the Midnight Oil

Today our postman delivered Readers Digest
Classic Reads 2016. I am absolutely rapt, to put it
mildly! I have browsed through it and decided to
burn the midnight oil tonight reading the magazine.
An avid reader of the magazine all my life, I wanted
to pen you a few lines thanking you and your staff,
to express my grateful appreciation for producing
such a first-rate magazine. LORRAINE POINTON

Never Look Back Make It So

I was deeply moved reading the Recent reports about luxury
article Quit While Youre Ahead accommodation on airliners give the
(December 2016). I have just quit my impression that they are now so big
full-time teaching job to work as a that each of us can travel in comfort
freelance writer. Inspired by the and privacy (The Future of Flight,
authors bright future after she quit December 2016). That is very far
her job, I am ready to embrace the from the truth. Economy class is still
new challenge. REZAUL KARIM REZA rammed full with ever-closer, more
uncomfortable seats, but if new work
As a result of reading the heart- by industrial designers is aiming to
warming article Quit While Youre make the experience of turning right
Ahead, I have become more happy, on entering a plane as painless as
contented and energetic. I recently possible, then Im all for it.
quit my job as an BETHANY WEBB
education officer and
opted to go back to LET US KNOW Finding
school teaching, which If you are moved or Acceptance
is enriching me with provoked by any item Coming Out to
greater knowledge and in the magazine, share Grandma (My Story,
your thoughts. See
wisdom. JEEWAN MANSHA page 6 for how to join November 2016), was
the discussion.
4 | March2017
 beautiful. It reminds me of when
I came out to my conservative
parents ten years ago. Up to this day,
it is still the most awkward moment
of my life. Their response was
nothing like I expected, but my
strongest memory was my fathers
answer: We love you, and if your
friends cant accept you, we are Funny Face
always here for you, which my We asked you to think up a funny
mother seconded. What was then caption for this photo.
even more amazing was for my Tears of Emojoycon. RAJOO BALAJI
parents to find out that my friends
When reality hits hard, virtual reality
already knew and they accepted me. has the last laugh! TANG WAI KIT
RHOCELA PASIGNA
Ive been spending so much time on
Not So Private Lives the internet that my head has turned
into an emoticon! ATHENA TAN
Private Lives (October 2016) was
such an insight into the profound role Im all SMILE-y!!! K. WASKITANINGTYAS
technology has played in improving Ha ha! Guess what? Its FaceTime!
our lives but at the cost of our privacy. MUHAMMAD SHEIKH AHMED
The fears mentioned in the article
Congratulations to this months
areso true. IQRA IJAZ winner, Muhammad Sheikh Ahmed.

WIN A PILOT CAPLESS

FOUNTAIN PEN
The best letter published each
month will win a Pilot Capless
fountain pen, valued at over
$200. The Capless is the
perfect combination of luxury WIN
and ingenious technology, !
featuring a one-of-a-kind
retractable fountain pen nib,
CAPTION CONTEST
durable metal body, beautiful
Come up with the funniest
PHOTOS: iSTOCK

rhodium accents and a

14K gold nib. Congratulations caption for the above photo
to this months winner, and you could win $100. To
Rhocela Pasigna. enter, see the details on page 6.

March2017 | 5
 Vol. 192
CONTRIBUTE
No. 1142 FOR DIGITAL EXTRAS AND
March 2017 SOCIAL MEDIA INFO, SEE PAGE 31.

Anecdotes and jokes

EDITORIAL Send in your real-life laugh for
Editorial Director Lynn Lewis
Lifes Like That or All in a Days
Managing Editor Louise Waterson
Work. Got a joke? Send it in for
Deputy Chief Subeditor Melanie Egan
Designer Luke Temby Digital Editor Laughter is the Best Medicine!
& Humour Editor Greg Barton Associate Smart Animals
Editor Victoria Polzot Senior Editor Share antics ofunique pets or
Samantha Kent Contributing Editors wildlife in up to 300words.
Hazel Flynn, Helen Signy
Kindness of Strangers
PRODUCTION & MARKETING Share your moments of
Production Manager Balaji Parthsarathy
generosity in 100500 words.
Marketing Manager Gala Mechkauskayte
My Story
Do you have an inspiring or
ADVERTISING life-changing tale to tell?
Group Advertising & Retail Sales Director, Submissions must be true,
Asia Pacic Sheron White Advertising Sales unpublished, original and
Manager Darlene Delaney 8001000 words see website
formore information.
REGIONAL ADVERTISING CONTACTS
Asia Sheron White, [email protected]
Australia Darlene Delaney, Letters to the editor, caption
[email protected] competition and other
reader submissions
New Zealand Debbie Bishop,
[email protected] Online
Follow the Contribute link at the
RD website in your region, or via:
PUBLISHED BY READERS DIGEST
(AUSTRALIA) PTY LTD
Email
Managing Director/Publisher AU: [email protected]
Walter Beyleveldt NZ: [email protected]
Director Lance Christie Asia: [email protected]
We may edit submissions and use them
in all media. See website for full terms
READERS DIGEST ASSOCIATION, INC (USA) and conditions.
President and Chief Executive Officer
Bonnie Kintzer
Vice President, Chief Operating Officer, TO SERVE YOU BETTER
OUR PRIVACY STATEMENT
International Brian Kennedy Readers Digest collects your information to provide
Editor-in-Chief, International Magazines our products and services and may also use your
information for the marketing purposes of RD and/
Raimo Moysa or selected corporate partners. If the information is
not provided you will be unable to access our
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED THROUGHOUT THE Readers Digest website in your region contains full
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IN WHOLE OR PART IN ENGLISH OR OTHER companies in the US or other overseas entities), how
LANGUAGES PROHIBITED you may access or correct information held and our
privacy complaints process.

6 | March2017
 Editors Note
Lifes Little Mystery
THIS MONTH, our cover feature, The King of Vinyl, will both delight
and frustrate anyone who built up a record collection decades ago only
to cast it along with their turntable aside to make room for CDs and
digital downloads. Lovers of music carried across the warmer tones of
medium frequencies are seeing a strong comeback of vinyl in music
stores across the world. We tracked down Zden k Pelc, an unassuming
man who kept the faith along with a trusty old black cake press,
and today heads asuccessful record business out of Prague. For his
story, and the inspiration to rebuild a record collection, turn to page 38.
It seems that the most innately human thing crying and why we
do it have split the medical science world. We know the physical
reason for tears, but what drives our need to express this
emotional response has lead to a research boom
into why tears flow when we feel sadness, pain, joy
or anger. Why We Cry (page 46) sets out all the
reasons for emotional crying, something
naturalist and evolution theorist Charles Darwin
long ago discounted as purposeless. As a soppy
sentimental from way back, Im glad our
modern-day scientists are up for the challenge.
Dont forget to share your thoughts about any
of the stories you read in Readers Digest. We
love hearing from you!

LOUISE WATERSON
Managing Editor

March2017 | 7
FINISH THIS SENTENCE

My Dearest
Possession Is
A family memento or perhaps
a formative experience? See what
other RD readers cherish most
a blue
locket,
borrowed
from my
mother for
my wedding,
which I never
my returned.
mothers DEB HARRISON,
Winnellie, NT

recipe book.
BETTY DAY, Thornlie, WA

my property,
surrounded by beautiful,
peaceful countryside.
PAUL WHEATON, Hardwicke Bay, SA

8 | March2017
 my wedding
ring, symbolising
everyone I care
about: family.
ANNE BEEL, Noosa, Qld

my fluffy fur
my mother-in- baby bounding
laws daughter. with joy.
DANIEL MURPHY, JEANETTE WEST,
Toowoomba, Qld Mount Coolum, Qld

a locket given
to me by my
wisdom learned children.
the hard way. NARELLE BEEBY,
NAOMI LEAN, Coffs Harbour, NSW Scarborough, Qld

my engagement
my mothers ring.
diary. KARA FORD,
ANNA MCALPINE, Cannon Hill, Qld
Berowra Heights, NSW

my lawnmower. Its my
do-not-disturb experience.
MICHAEL BATSON, Geelong, Vic

my iPad photo collection.

HELEN GLOVER, Devonport, Tas

March2017 | 9
MY STORY

Through the
Eyes of a Migrant
Was leaving our country for a new life the right decision?
BY LOR E L L A D C R U Z

Lorella DCruz enjoys A MOMENT OF WILD PANIC came over me as our aircraft
travel, classical music, prepared to descend. Our decision to migrate to
Scrabble and cryptic Australia in 1970 was a giant leap into the unknown.
crosswords. A few
My husband, Arnold, had come four months earlier,
years ago she visited
India with her family,
securing employment in his IT field, and setting up
including six grand- a home for our family. All the same, I was filled with
children, all of whom trepidation when I joined him in Melbourne on that
were captivated by cold blustery late-autumn night, our two little girls,
their vast and varied aged three and four in tow, rubbing their eyes in sleepy
Indian cultural bewilderment after a long flight from Bombay.
heritage. My concerns were momentarily set aside, of course,
in the unmitigated joy of being reunited as a family.
We had left behind a very comfortable life in India an
arguably class-ridden, inadequate system that sheltered
its middle classes from the drudgeries of everyday living,
so that I had never had to cook, clean or do a load of
washing. But, in the words of Nobel Prize winner Bob
Dylan, the times they were a-changin, and we had to
seriously weigh our options. Indias burgeoning
population threatened to limit the availability of
university placements, job openings and housing
for the next generation, our own children.

10 | March2017
 Right: Lorella DCruz and her two
young daughters, Liane and Ciel,
found Melbourne a welcoming place

Australia, on the other hand, was

touted as the land of opportunity, and
was in its own interests looking to
P HOTO: (STREET) ISTOCK; COURTESY OF LORELLA DCRUZ

boost its sparse population and labour

force. Why not take our chances? we
figured. Then we examined the cons.
The 70s was an era when the world that time o year. inutes a ter we put
was not the melting pot of cultures it down our bags, the doorbell rang and
is today; and, we reminded ourselves, there stood a parishioner from the
our new country had not, from all local church that my husband
accounts, totally dismantled its White had joined. At that point I was too
Australia policy. There was enough emotionally exhausted to exchange
reason for massive doubt as to the small talk with a total stranger but
wisdom of our move. she was not there to make small talk.
I vividly remember, as if it were She waited only long enough to drop
yesterday, arriving at our new home off a piping hot roast dinner for our
on that bitterly cold night in May first night in our new homeland.
bitterly cold, at any rate, by contrast I can still feel the outpouring of
with Bombays 3538C temperature at warmth and gratitude that surged

March2017 | 11
M Y STO RY

through my inner being sendon seemed eerily

in that moment, her lent and devoid of life,
kind gesture touching contrast. However, I
me to the core. I knew d only to walk down
in that instant that my e street to know we
husband had found us ere home: complete
the perfect community rangers smiled, and
in which to raise our aved a friendly greeting,
young family. d asked after our
From that day to this, mily. We were
weve never looked welcome, we belonged.
back. To think I had been It had taken but one act
agonising for months Arriving in of kindness on the part
over how racism might
rear its ugly head in our
Australia from a of a virtual stranger to
dispel my every last
daily lives and then, in so-called third foreboding.
a moment, all our world country, I realise that times
misgivings had been we expected a have changed and that
erased, thanks to the
kindness of a good
certain level of economic realities are
different today; but I hope
Samaritan. home comforts with all my heart that the
Of course, there were innate generosity of spirit
a few surprises to come that imbues the
to terms with over the next few weeks. Australian psyche will never be
Arriving in Australia from a so-called extinguished, and that todays
third-world country, we expected a migrants will experience as we did
certain level of home comforts, and the genuine warm-heartedness and
were a little taken aback by the lack of friendliness of its people, many of
some of the most basic amenities. We whose own parents were migrants.
had to make do with a couple of small I optimistically suggest that these
electric heaters, no running hot water new arrivals will in turn be moved
and incredibly an outdoor toilet! to make their own contribution of
However, the warmth of its people goodwill to the next wave of
more than compensated for the chill newcomers to our shores.
of that first winter.
At first, we actually missed the blare Do you have a tale to tell?
of taxi horns and the clamorous Well pay cash for any original and
throngs milling about the streets of unpublished story we print. See page
Bombay from dawn till midnight. 6 for details on how to contribute.

12 | March2017
 Hours of great
reading!
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U RS
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OR 12 ISSUES
FO
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VINYL
REVIVAL Th worlds
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PAGE 38
best-loved
Can Science The Doc r magazine
Explain Why Who
o
Big To cco
We Cry?
PAGE 46
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Shocked anPAGE 64 packed with
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Surprising and
Playful Honolulu Breakt
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Instant Answers: Mosquito

es .................................
2
52 laughs and
Bonus Read: Journey to
Mov ies, Book s and New
Kokoda ............................
s ...................................
1022

.... 116
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KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

The Fellowship
of Three Rings
Were my precious mementos gone forever?
BY KAV I TA T U T E JA

Kavita Tuteja is a THREE YEARS AGO I was rostered to work for a few weeks
42-year-old dental as a dental therapist in a new dental clinic at Victor Harbor,
hygienist and to the south of Adelaide and an hour further away than my
therapist from
usual workplace. My first day there was a rush driving to
Adelaide. She has
three teenage a new and unfamiliar clinic and getting acclimatised to the
children and different protocols and clinical environment.
enjoys reading, In my agitation, and feeling a little unfamiliar in the
sketching, cooking new setting, I removed my three rings: my wedding ring,
and going for a ring that belonged to my mother and one that was an
walks. anniversary gift from my husband. I wrapped them in
a tissue and placed them beside my computer.
During my lunch break, I noticed the crumpled-up
tissue and thought that it did not look very neat and
tossed it into the rubbish bin. I went about my duties
and my day proceeded well; I met new patients and felt
that I had been productive and efficient.
Driving home at the end of the day, just moments
PHOTO: iSTOCK

before I reached my house, I noticed that I was missing

my rings. I felt the heat in my body rise, my cheeks burning
red. I went inside and tried to calm down. I felt sick to my
stomach and I had that sinking feeling in my heart.

14 | March2017
 I spent an hour or so making
calls, trying to trace my rings.
The first people I called were
my manager and clinical
leader and they gave me a
few contact numbers for
cleaners. I got in touch with
a lady who managed the
cleaning services for the clinic,
and she informed me that the bins
had already been collected.
Heartbroken, I knew nothing could
be done now. I had lost my wedding
ring and one of my most treasured
rings my mothers wedding ring.
After two or so hours, I was just
coming to terms with what I had lost,
when I received the most amazing
phone call. Someone had gone
through the bins and found
all three of my rings! I was so
grateful to the beautiful soul
who took the trouble to go
through the bins containing
dental waste which is not a
pleasant task to find my rings.
I was rostered to work at that
clinic the following week, so
I bought chocolates with which
to thank this wonderful person.
Unfortunately I did not get to meet
her as she was not at work that day.
Share your story about a small act of
kindness that maade a huge impact.
Turn to page 6 fo
or details on how to
contribute and eaarn cash.

March2017 | 15
 Smart Animals
Some animals are much more cluey than we imagine

Holly Go Lightly One day, as we headed back from

EMMA WOODWARD a ride on the beach, Holly and I were
Five years ago, I was a trail ride leader leading the way over hilly terrain.
at a holiday ranch on the Mornington When we got to one particularly
Peninsula in Victoria. My favourite long, steep hill (think lie-back-in-
horse was a warmblood called Holly, your-saddle steep), Holly began to
I LLUSTRATED BY EDWI NA KEEN E

a chestnut mare with a flaxen mane twitch her ears and prance in place.
and tail. Aged seven, she was graceful, So, when she proceeded to sniff and
sweet-natured and well trained; the snort and give all the signals that she
only problem with Holly was her vivid believed the horse-eating monsters
imagination. I was constantly were close, I became a little worried.
surprised by Hollys ability to be At the bottom of the hill as we
spooked by rabbits, the wind or rounded a corner, Holly slowed with
even shadows sometimes her caution, and so I followed her gaze to
own shadow! the path ahead. There, sunning itself

16 | March2017
in the middle of the climbed
c up the rocky
track, was a brown snake. ledge
l and over towards
This time it was my turn me, getting as close to
to freak out; Iwas on the
t edge as quickly as
aflighty horse, leading she possibly could.
agroup of eight She stood tall, glanced
inexperienced, pre-teen b
back with her intelligent
riders. Holly was firmly b innocent eyes in
but
planted, ears forward, t direction of my
the
muscles relaxed. With camera and grinned to
the snake in her sights, she was no show her teeth and wouldnt budge
longer worried. until I took her photo!
I have heard that horses have
a better sense of smell than dogs; Golf, Anyone?
I hadnt seen it demonstrated before ARNOLD BENTLEY
that moment. Thankfully, while we Some eight years ago, a magpie that
waited in reality for just a second we named Maggie adopted my wife
ortwo but for what felt like an and me, no doubt attracted by the
eternity the snake roused itself and chunks of meat we regularly fed him.
glided calmly off into the bush. Over the course of a few weeks our
Holly then stepped forward, feathered friend would often perch
leading the horses with caution and on top of my head while I putted
care. She had been alert to danger from hole to hole in our backyard
and taken responsibility for the putting green.
safety of us all. Following in the Probably not so unusual, I hear
footsteps of their lead mare, not one you say. I agree. But how many golf-
of the other horses showed any fear. minded magpies do you know that
graduate, in just a few weeks, to
Photo-Bombing Dog climbing to the shaft of the putter for
TIN JOO YEN as long as the owner wants to putt
I have a gold-coloured, mixed-breed around? I wondered whether the
dog named Bobby who loves to be in smart bird, who eventually flew
photos. One day last summer, while away, could possibly have known
Iwas renting a house in the Sea that at the time I was a golfer as well
Home Estate in Penang, I was trying as course ranger and rules official.
to snap the sun setting on the sea
over the edge of a wall of my place. You could earn cash by telling us about the
Upon seeing me hold my camera, antics of unique pets or wildlife. Turn to
my Bobby, who is two years old, page 6 for details on how to contribute.

March2017 | 17
 THE DIGEST
HEALTH

All You Need to Know

About Insulin
How a medical breakthrough saved countless lives
BY HELEN COWAN

Before the discovery of insulin, In 1797, John Rollo demonstrated

diabetes was a death sentence. that a very low kilojoule diet could
Widely regarded as the first true prolong the lives of diabetics, but
miracle drug, insulin has saved only for a limited period before they
millions of lives. But why do died of starvation or complications
some people need insulin and from malnutrition.
how does it work? But at the beginning of the 20th
Diabetes has been recognised as century, although the biological
a disease since ancient times, and mechanism of diabetes was
as early as 1775 physician understood, medical science
Matthew Dobson was yet to come up with
detected the presence an effective treatment.
of sugar in the
urine of diabetics. Type 1
Diabetic children Diabetes
were thin, listless Diabetics were
I LLUSTRATI ONS: i STOCK

and pale, with suffering from

sickly sweet what is now
breath, and would known as type 1
inevitably slip into diabetes. This
a coma before their means the body
untimely death. cannot make insulin,

18 | March2017
a deficiency perhaps so many people so
caused by genetics or suddenly. Banting was
an immune response jointly awarded the
triggered by a virus. Nobel Prize in 1923 for
Type 2 diabetes is a his work in diabetes.
different disease, where
the body has difficulty using Insulin Injections
insulin. It often begins later in The many types of insulin can
life, and can lead to loss of insulin be divided into those that act quickly
production. Type 2 diabetes can be and for a short time (taken just before
triggered by genetics and lifestyle, a meal), and those that act slowly and
such as being overweight and having for a long time (taken once or twice
a poor diet. a day to keep glucose levels stable).
Insulin is a hormone that unlocks Many diabetics are prescribed both
cells, letting glucose in, where it is forms of insulin.
either used as energy or stored as While life-saving, injected insulin
fuel. Without insulin, glucose remains is unable to match the bodys own
in the blood and is passed through insulin for blood-glucose control.
the kidneys into the urine. Diabetics When blood-glucose levels fall too
produce a lot of urine as the glucose low, it can lead to confusion and even
draws water out of the body, leading coma, and sugar needs to be given by
to thirst. Weight loss and a lack of mouth or injection. Chronically raised
energy result when glucose cannot get blood-glucose levels can damage the
into the bodys cells. eyes, kidneys, nerves and heart.
Pumps that constantly monitor
The Discovery of Insulin blood glucose and adjust the
Canadian Dr Frederick Banting, amount of insulin injected are
together with medical student Charles available, and may better control
Best, building on the work of earlier blood-glucose levels. Pancreas
physicians, isolated insulin from the transplants are also occasionally
pancreases of dogs and cows in 1921. available. An insulin pill to replace
In 1922, the insulin was first tested needles has proved difficult for
on 14-year-old Leonard Thompson, a researchers, as insulin is destroyed
diabetic, and it restored him to health. in the stomach. For now, insulin
No other drug in the history injections are indispensable for the
of medicine changed the lives of health of diabetics across the world.

March2017 | 19
HEALTH

What Is Inflammatory
Bowel Disease?
BY SAMANTHA RIDEOUT

DIGESTIVE TRACT Inflammation is

one of the bodys ways of fighting
pathogens, but sometimes it can run
amok, causing chronic inflammatory
diseases. Inflammatory bowel disease
(IBD) is the umbrella term for
conditions that involve chronic
swelling in the digestive tract. The
two main types are ulcerative colitis,
which is inflammation of the lining
of the colon and rectum; and
Crohns disease, which is when
swollen patches occur in the tissue
that lines any part of the digestive common procedure is replacing
tract. Both conditions can cause the colon and rectum with synthetic
abdominal pain and cramping, substitutes, usually a permanent cure.
diarrhoea, bloody stools, fatigue and
weight loss. WHAT CAUSES IBD? The causes of
IBD are unknown. Although there is
TREATMENT A lifelong disease, evidence of genetic risk factors, most
IBD usually starts in early adulthood. sufferers dont have a family history.
Symptoms can come and go in the Insufficient exposure to microbes
form of flares and remission. Anti- that regulate a healthy gut has been
inflammatory medications can ease hypothesised, and might explain
symptoms. For Crohns, surgically why IBD is more prevalent in cities
removing or bypassing the damaged than in the less sterile countryside.
areas can provide long-term relief, Other possible causes are artificial
but the disease may return to attack sweeteners (which can inhibit gut
unaffected tissue. For colitis, the most bacteria) and excessive antibiotic use.

20 | March2017
 Ways to Prevent
Make-up Allergies
Even if youve used cosmetics for airborne microorganisms have
years without problems, one or more an opportunity to rush in. Most
ingredients can still trigger an allergic cosmetics have enough preservatives
reaction. Your body may build up to kill off the bugs for about one year.
sensitivities to these ingredients,
causing your immune system to
overreact. It can help to observe
these common-sense rules.
5 Test new cosmetics. If you
tend to have allergic reactions
to cosmetics, ask for free samples
before buying. Products labelled

1 Wash your hands and your face

before applying make-up as a
matter of course.
allergy-tested, dermatologist-tested,
nonirritating, or hypoallergenic are
not guaranteed to help you avoid an
allergic reaction.

2 Never use anyone elses cosmetics.

Sharing cosmetics means sharing
germs, whether the make-up belongs 6 Apply eye make-up with care.
Use mascara only on the outer
to your best friend or is a tester on a two-thirds of the lashes do not
store shelf for anyone to use. start at the roots. Never apply
eyeliner to the inner eyelid margins.

3 Dont apply eye make-up if

you have an infection
such as conjunctivitis.
Contact lens wearers should avoid
frosted eye shadow. The iridescent
particles can get in the eyes,
Toss out all products attach themselves to the lens
you were using at the andscratch the cornea.
time.

4 Throw away old 7 Dont be misled by the

word natural. Just because
P HOTOS: iSTOCK

cosmetics. Every an ingredient is natural is no

time you open guarantee you wont have an
a bottle of allergic reaction to it.
foundation, Patch test if in doubt.

March2017 | 21
HEALTH

NEWS FROM THE

World of Medicine
High-Fat Diet Hurts Sleep
Men with high-fat diets were more
likely to suffer from daytime fatigue
and poor night-time slumber
than men with low-fat diets,
according to a University of
Adelaide study. The scientists
speculated that fat intake
affects hormones, metabolism
and the central nervous system, all
of which interact with the circadian
clock that regulates shut-eye. In turn,
the lead author noted, sleeping poorly
makes people crave rich, fatty foods, JAMA Internal Medicine suggested
thus creating a vicious cycle. people who have been taking PPIs
The Heart Foundation long-term consult their doctor to
recommends saturated fat make up determine if the drug is still useful.
only 7% of total energy intake, which
translates to around 16 grams per Families of Depression
day for the average adult. Patients Need Support, Too
A Norwegian survey suggests that
New Side Effects of Proton close relatives of severely depressed
Pump Inhibitors patients may succumb to depression
Used to treat indigestion and acid themselves if they dont get enough
reflux, proton pump inhibitors (PPIs) information and support. This may
are among the most commonly used be because theyre struggling with
drugs in the world. However, they can powerlessness and the fear that their
carry risks: chronic kidney disease loved ones may commit suicide.
PHOTO: iSTOCK

was recently added to the list of People suffering from depression

possible harms from long-term use. are often reluctant to let relatives get
(Others include bone fractures and involved, but when they are involved,
mineral deficiencies.) An editorial in everyone benefits.

22 | March2017
 HOME

Dishwasher Dos and Donts

Dishwasher design has changed since gone by, and detergents are more
your parents day. Yet most people concentrated. This means you need
learn what to do once in life and never less detergent. Not only are you
revisit their dishwasher technique. spending more than you have to
on something thats literally going
RINSING DOES MORE HARM THAN down the drain, but also, too much
GOOD SERIOUSLY! You remember detergent leads to cloudy glasses.
how your mother was always telling
you to rinse your dishes before DISHES COME OUT WITH A FROSTY
putting them in the dishwasher? WHITE FILM This is a residue of
The experts (a senior dishwasher minerals that new phosphate-free
design engineer quoted in the New detergents leave behind. To remove
York Times) say she was wrong. minerals, put two cups of white
You werent being lazy. You had an vinegar into a bowl and place it
instinctive sense that detergent was in your dishwashers bottom rack.
created to dissolve food, and if its
it s Run the washer without
in there without food, it will starrt detergent. Then run it a
attacking the glasses. And duplicate second time to remove
rinsing just wastes water, so say the the leftover vinegar.
dishwasher authorities.

DISHWASHER OVERLOAD Plac ce

large items at the side and back to
prevent them from blocking water
and detergent from other dishes.
The dirtier side should go towarrds
the middle, where it will have more
exposure to spray.
P HOTO: iSTOCK

DETERGENT OVERDOSE This is the

number-one mistake. Dishwash hers
use less water than they did in days
FOOD

PASTA
Inexpensive and easy
to cook, pasta is an
invaluable pantry item.
Keep a stock of different
shapes such as spaghetti,
penne and farfalle

Creamy
Pumpkin
Penne
Preparation 10 minutes 1 Cook the pasta in a saucepan of salted
Cooking 15 minutes boiling water, according to the packet
Serves 2 instructions. Add the pumpkin during the
last 5 minutes.
200 g penne pasta 2 Meanwhile, heat the oil in a frying pan over
200 g butternut pumpkin, peeled medium heat. Add the onion and garlic; cook

P HOTOS A ND RECIPES READERS DIGEST P TY LTD

and cut into small cubes for 2 minutes. Pour in the cream, then stir in
1 tablespoon olive oil the tomatoes, pine nuts and sage. Bring to
a boil, reduce heat at once and simmer for
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 minute.
1 large clove garlic, finely chopped 3 Drain pasta and pumpkin. Return to pan,
cup (160 ml) pouring cream add sauce and gently stir through. Serve
4 sun-dried tomatoes, sliced topped with bacon.
1 tablespoon toasted pine nuts
1 teaspoon chopped fresh sage Try This!
2 slices rindless bacon, fried and Replace the bacon with slices
chopped of prosciutto, pancetta or
salami, frying until crisp.
PER SERVING
380 kJ, 909 kcal, 25 g protein, 53 g fat
Drain on paper towel. Or
(25 g saturated fat), 86 g carbohydrate omit bacon for a wholly
(8 g sugars), 7 g bre, 678 mg sodium vegetarian meal.

24 | March2017
 S
Salmon and
V
Vegetable Fusilli
400 g fusilli (spiral pasta)
4
Preparation
6 asparagus spears, trimmed and cut into 15 minutes
sshort lengths
Cooking
Gluten-free
f 2 g shelled broad beans (500 g pods),
250
outer skin removed, if wished
o
15 minutes
ooking ips Serves
Gluten-free pasta 400 g boneless, skinless salmon fillets 4
tends to form into 3 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest
clumps if not cooked 1 tablespoon lemon juice PER SERVING
correctly. Start stirring 2112 kJ,
1 tablespoon olive oil
as soon as you have 505 kcal, 36 g
dropped the pasta Handful chopped fresh parsley protein, 16 g fat
(2 g saturated
into salted, boiling 1 Cook pasta in a large saucepan fat), 55 g
water, and continue of boiling water, according to the carbohydrate
for 30 seconds. (The packet instructions, until just cooked (1 g sugars),
salt is important as it 14 g bre,
(al dente). Add the asparagus and 72 mg sodium
provides avour.) broad beans for the last 2 minutes.
Then stir occasionally, Drain the mixture and return to the pan.
at least for the rst
2 Meanwhile, half-ll a deep frying pan with water
3-5 minutes, as this
and bring to a simmer. Add salmon and return to
iswhen the pasta is
a simmer. Cover and gently poach for 10 minutes,
most likely to stick
until the salmon is just cooked through. Use a slotted
together. To prevent
spoon to transfer to a plate. Let cool slightly, then
overcooking, start
break into large akes with a fork.
tasting a few minutes
before the cooking 3 Stir lemon zest, juice and olive oil through the pasta
time suggested on and vegetables. Toss to combine. Add salmon and
thepacket. Drain the parsley, season with freshly ground pepper and toss
pasta, place in a bowl again gently.
and stir in the sauce of
your choice. Leave to
rest for a few minutes
before serving so that
the starches that are
released by the pasta
are fully absorbed
into the sauce.
TRAVEL

Limestone pillars and

islets rise from the
emerald waters of Ha
Long Bay, Vietnam

Southeast Asias Top Spots

BY ADAM HODGE

Beyond Southeast Asias bustling ANGKOR ARCHAEOLOGICAL PARK,

cities there are so many temples, CAMBODIA The Temples of Angkor
picturesque towns and natural are situated in a massive complex,
attractions that it can be hard to know the sheer size of which is bound
where to start. None of these iconic to impress. This also means that
places will leave you disappointed. tourist hordes are thinned out. They
tend to congregate around the main
HA LONG BAY, VIETNAM In the attractions: Angkor Wat, Bayon and
Bay of Descending Dragons, a the vine-covered Ta Phrom. But there
unique karst topography juts out is much to discover. Generations
of the sea and forms some 2000 of Khmer rulers built hundreds of
limestone islets. A cruise among the architecturally jaw-dropping temples
formations is a magnificent way to around the site.
spend a few days or more, landing
on the islets for further exploration BANAUE RICE TERRACES,
P HOTOS: iSTOCK

and rock climbing. Beware the PHILIPPINES Supposedly entirely

season, though. Monsoons from June built by hand, the 2000-year-old
through September and again from stone- and mud-walled terraces that
January to March can limit visibility. layer the impossibly steep slopes of

26 | March2017
the Ifugao region in the Philippines
are irrigated by mountain streams
and springs. During harvest season,
when the rice plants are bright green,
the valleys practically glow in the
sunshine, and trekking around the
hillsides is a surreal experience.

TEMPLES AT BAGAN, MYANMAR

The appeal of the Buddhist temples
at Bagan lies not in their individual Stepping stones to the sky: the Banaue
Rice Terraces in the Philippines
majesty, but rather in the high-
density and endless array of similar
structures thrusting up from the LUANG PRABANG, LAOS This
plains. Some 2000 of the 13,000 UNESCO World Heritage site is
temples that used to stand in the city almost an entire city. Its rare to turn
of Bagan still remain, and it's this a corner here and not be confronted
spiritual plenitude that makes a trip with remarkable colonial and Lao
to Bagan unmissable. architecture. Outside of town in the
surrounding jungle, you can find
MOUNT KINABALU, MALAYSIA surprisingly powerful waterfalls,
The common refrain you hear in bathing pools and echoing caves.
promotional material for Mount
Kinabalu is that on a good day you KRABI PROVINCE, THAILAND Home
can see all the way to the Philippines. to some of the best sand and water
Chances are that you wont see the in the world, its no wonder that
Philippines from the peak because everyone jets off for Krabi Province.
of frequent fog and rain, but that Ko Phi Phi Leh, where the movie
doesnt mean you should forget The Beach was filmed, is packed
about climbing Borneos highest with tourist hordes, but Ko Lantas
mountain. The ascent is technically equally beautiful long, white-sand
straightforward and its one of beaches are relatively devoid of
the most accessible mountains tourists. If beach lounging isnt
in the world. However, its still an quite your thing, some of the best
exhausting excursion to the summit scuba diving in Southeast Asia can
of the 4095-metre peak. be found on Ko Lanta.

March2017 | 27
 TECH

Dont Lose Your Work

to a Computer Glitch
BY LAURA LEE

There are few things more this by subscribing to an online

frustrating than completing the last service that lets you load files to their
paragraph of a 20-page report only server. Not only does this keep your
to have your computer seize up and data safe, but you can also access it
give you the blue or grey screen of from different devices.
death. Although most word-processor
programs periodically save, that BACK THAT THING UP! In the old
doesnt always happen often enough days, backing up data was a tedious
(and it wont matter if you cant get process. Now there are external hard

P HOTO: iSTOCK
your computer to turn back on). drives and software programs that
back up everything automatically.
SAVE IT YOURSELF If youre writing Plugging an external hard
an important report, a thesis or a love drive into a computers
letter, take the extra step of saving USB port is a quick
the document manually as you go. way to make another
Though this can save you ninety-nine copyofyour data.
per cent of the time, it wont ward
FROM DONT SCREW IT UP!
off all data disasters. There are many 2013. BY LAURA LEE.
PUBLISHED BY
ways you could accidentally lose READERS DIGEST.

access to your data: a power outage

could burn out your motherboard, or
your hard drive could go bad. There is TOP
MISTAKES
really no excuse not to back things up.
Q Relying solely
on autosave
PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE CLOUD
Q Failing to back
To be sure you have your most up your data
important files after an emergency, Q Not updating
you can back your files up to the your back-up data.
cloud, ie, the internet. You can do

28 | March2017
 PETS

Pawsome Tips
to Care for Pets
Here are some do-it-yourself
grooming and care tips, from
recycling a belt to using household
products to freshen pet bedding, thaat
will make your life much easier and
your pet happier.

A BICARB BED FRESHENER

In between washings of your pets
bedding, sprinkle it with bicarbonate SHOE BAG PET ORGANISER
of soda, then let it sit for about an A hanging shoe bag placed inside
hour. Shake off the bicarb outdoors, a kitchen cupboard door or in the
then vacuum up the rest. This will laundry or garage can help manage
freshen and deodorise the bedding. all your pet clutter. Use the pockets
for storing leads, toys and treats.
RECYCLE A BELT AS A COLLAR
Save money by making a pet collar MAKE YOUR PET EASIER TO FIND
from a small leather belt thats no Glow-in-the-dark, pet-safe nail
longer used. (A grosgrain belt is polish (available at pet shops or
suitable for smaller, lightweight pets, online) dabbed onto your cat or
but only if it has a binding along its dogs collar and on claws will
length.) Cut the belt to the desired make him easier to spot when hes
length for your little dog or cat. Place out after dark.
the new collar on a block of wood and
poke holes in it with an awl or heavy DONT THROW AWAY AN OLD COMB
metal skewer, then buckle it around Use it as a belly scratcher for your
PHOTO : iSTOCK

your pets neck to make sure it fits dog or cat. Your fingernails will do
comfortably. For a cat, split the collar the job, too, but pets seem to love
and add in a piece of elastic so that it the feel of a fine-toothed comb
can slip off if she gets it caught. digging into their fur.

March2017 | 29
MONEY

Insurance Costs Rise

for Older Travellers
Shop around and read the ne print before you leave
Its ever more important for older in place before you travel. Shop
travellers to make sure they have around because while most travel
the right insurance as, according to insurance policies have age limits
research carried out by UK-based or restrictions, several insurers
consumer watchdog Which?, they offer policies specially designed for
could end up paying a lot more than retirees or senior travellers.
their younger counterparts. Be upfront about all medical
Which? obtained quotations that conditions there is nothing worse
illustrated that healthy travellers than having a claim rejected because
aged 75 pay more than twice as much you failed to disclose something that
for an annual worldwide policy as seemed innocuous.
someone aged 65. Quotations for

O i STOCK
a healthy traveller aged 85 are five
times more costly than those aged 65.

OT O:
Regardless of where your home

PHO
base is, the US and Singapore are e
most expensive countries in which to o
fall ill with medical bills in the US
averaging more tha han US$5800. The
global average forr med di al claims
on travel cover is app prooxi tely
US$1600.
Very large clla ms
excess of US$$11322,000 ree
becoming more re r quu e nt.
Few people can ann affor
o d to finnd
such amountss, ther fo ore it is
essential to haavee hee co orree t
travel insuran nce prroteectio
on

30 | March2017
7
 JOIN THE
CONVERSATION
Four great reasons why you should
join us online

We give away First look at

cash and prizes future issues
Join fun Get a sneak peek
competitions and at upcoming
quizzes stories and
covers

We give
great advice
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Friends and good manners will

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MARGARET WALKER

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through the day
POWER OF ONE

She
Took on
Tobacco BY HELEN SIGNY

When this
cancer specialist
realised that pension
funds were investing
in the growth of the
tobacco industry,
she felt it was time to
challenge the status quo
 A tobacco-free
world is the way of
the future:
Melbourne
oncologist
Dr Bronwyn King

Ma
a h2 1 3
33
S H E TO O K O N TO B ACCO

MELBOURNE ONCOLOGIST Dr Bronwyn King stepped into the

meeting with a major Australian financial institution and scanned
the faces for the man she was looking for. As a cancer specialist,
shed come here to try to persuade the company to get rid of its
tobacco stocks. Shed googled the people she was going to meet and
discovered this man was a former stalwart of the tobacco industry.

Singling him out, Bronwyn ap- year in the tobacco industry usually
proached him and asked whether he without our knowledge. In the past
still believed the tobacco industry an five years, shes persuaded more than
industry that kills six million people a 35 superannuation (retirement) funds
year was acceptable in todays world. to unload their tobacco stocks. She
As she spoke, her mind flicked back to encouraged AXA, the worlds second-
the patient shed seen earlier, a gentle, largest insurer, to divest AU$2.6 billion
brave, 53-year-old woman with teen- of tobacco industry assets. Medibank,
age kids whose lung cancer was Australias largest private health in-
quickly spreading through her bones. surer; AP4, a large Swedish pension
It quickly became apparent that the fund; and Fonds de Rserve pour les

P HOTOS: (PREVI OUS S PREA D) iSTOCK; COURTEST OF DR BRONWY N KI NG

man had not changed his views, and Retraites, the largest French pension
Bronwyn asked him to leave the meet- fund, have all shunned tobacco after
ing. I have no interest in talking to the engaging with Bronwyn. As a result
tobacco industry, she says. Im an of her tireless efforts, 40 per cent of
oncologist, I very much feel the weight Australian superannuation funds are
of my patients on my shoulders, many now tobacco-free, with many others
of whom are no longer here. There is actively working towards that goal.
no safe level of tobacco consumption. We are on track for one billion
The only acceptable outcome is that tobacco-related deaths this century.
the industry ceases to exist. On tobacco the health community is
An articulate mother of two young united and so are most governments,
children, Bronwyn King, 42, never but the finance sector has never really
intended to become the face of the new been part of the conversation. With-
front in the war against Big Tobacco. out finance leaders on board, the to-
But with her no-nonsense doctors at- bacco industry will continue to
titude and persuasive way with words, prosper, she says.
thats exactly what shes done.
Bronwyn has turned the worlds Counting the Cost
attention to the billions of dollars of Bronwyn first saw the ravages caused
our money that are invested every by tobacco as a junior doctor on a

34 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

three-month stint in a lung-cancer Super, and asked out of interest where

ward. She saw patients struggling with her money was being invested. Like
terrible pain as the cancer metasta- most super policies in Australia, she
sised to their brain or bones, but it was was told, a portion of her money was
the sense of terrible loss that got to her invested in tobacco. In fact, the larg-
the knowledge that these patients est holdings in the international shares
would miss graduations, weddings, component of her portfolio belonged
births and grandchildren, all because to the tobacco industry: British Ameri-
they had smoked cigarettes. With to- can Tobacco, Imperial Tobacco, Philip
bacco directly responsible for 82 per Morris and Swedish Match.
cent of lung-cancer cases worldwide, The discovery hit her and her col-
its devastation would extend down leagues hard. The Peter Mac is a
through the generations of these fami- dedicated cancer hospital it was
lies at her patients bedsides. inconceivable that most of its staff
Lung cancer remains a largely incur- were investing in the tobacco indus-
able disease. Like other doctors, most try with their super contributions.
of the time all Bronwyn could do was Bronwyn started reading. Australian
slow its progression and relieve her super funds had about $10 billion
patients suffering. Then a chance en- invested in tobacco, including some
counter in 2010 at the Peter MacCallum of the funds that offered sustainable
Cancer Centre where she worked or ethical investment options.
showed her that she could do more. Bronwyn took a long look at her pa-
Shed sat down with a representative tients. Most had started smoking as
from her superannuation fund, Health children, had become hooked on one

These patients
would miss
graduations,
weddings, births
all because
they had
P HOTO: iSTOCK

smoked
cigarettes

March2017 | 35
S H E TO O K O N TO B ACCO

of the most addictive substances in to man. Nearly all smokers become

existence, and were now suffering the addicted as adolescents, with 80,000
inevitable consequences of a lifetimes to 100,000 children picking up the
smoking. The industry that was ped- habit every day worldwide, most of
dling this drug needed to be stopped. them the poorest kids in the poorest
In between patient con- communities. Very few
sultations and preparing would have any idea
for the birth of her first that two-thirds of smok-
baby, she set to work. When they meet ers die early as a result of
Over many months of me, its a smoking, Bronwyn said.
coffees, boardroom pres- conversation She also appealed to
entations, emails and that can go the need for financial
phone calls, she started institutions to be good
to inform Australias nowhere. What corporate citizens. A
financial institutions can they possibly tobacco-free investment
about tobacco and asked say to an policy was entirely do-
them to reconsider how oncologist? able. Why not establish
they structured their in- yourself as a leading or-
vestment porfolios. ganisation thats on
She pointed out to them that to- the right side of history? she urged.
bacco is an exceptional, unique prod- She found many of the most senior
uct that is quite different to any other financial leaders were quite open to
unlike alcohol, for example, there what she was saying. Again and again,
is no safe level of consumption. One theyd share with her stories of their
hundred and eighty governments, own families losses due to tobacco.
including Australia, are Parties to the The finance sector had never really
World Health Organization Frame- been part of the tobacco control con-
work Convention on Tobacco Control, versation. No one had alerted them to
which pledges to limit tobacco use the scale of the problem, she says.
worldwide. Yet the tobacco industry I understand the environment
continues unchecked, especially in that they are coming from. I under-
the third world, targeting communi- stand they need to make money, par-
ties where there is little education ticularly when it comes to super, so
about its effects and poor enforce- people can have a dignified existence
ment of regulations. in their elderly years. I understand
It was not enough to say smoking the regulatory environment and the
was an individual choice, she told barriers. But I found there were many
the companies. Nicotine was one of finance leaders out there with whom
the most addictive substances known I could find common ground.

36 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

Turning Tide sovereign wealth funds. Even though

In July 2012, First State Super, which 180 countries have signed the UN
had taken over Health Super, became tobacco treaty, which states that gov-
the first Australian superannuation ernments are required to not invest in
fund to publicly renounce tobacco the tobacco industry, only five have
as a result of Bronwyns efforts. Six done that. We have the backing of the
months later, HESTA followed suit, UN tobacco treaty secretariat to bring
and by mid-2014 more than $1 billion more attention to that provision.
of tobacco stocks had been divested In recent heartening news, she
by Australian superannuation funds. says, in late 2016, in an independent
By now the organisation Bronwyn move, the USs largest state-based
founded, Tobacco Free Portfolios, pension fund, the California Public
was gaining the support of a number Employees Retirement System, voted
of high-profile politicians, and it was to divest itself of US$547 million in
time to take her battle global. tobacco-related investments.
In 2015, the Union for International What Bronwyn finds most challeng-
Cancer Control (UICC) provided ing is time. But time is something her
funding and support to take Tobacco patients dont have. She is driven by
Free Portfolios to a global level. In be- an overwhelming sense of wanting
tween juggling her patient load with justice for the people she treats, and
international phone calls, and caring the knowledge that, somehow, shes
for her two boys, Bronwyn fitted in found herself in a position where she
trips to the US and Europe. can make a real difference.
Tobacco Free Portfolios has now There are people across the world
appointed a UK director and plans who have spent their lives working for
to expand to other countries. We are the tobacco industry and will fight
hoping to put this issue on the agenda this. But when they meet me, its a
in boardrooms in financial organisa- conversation that can go nowhere.
tions all across the world, says Bron- What can they possibly say to an
wyn. Weve also set our sights on oncologist?

DID YOU KNOW?

Sideburns were named after an American Civil War general

named Ambrose Burnside, known for his unusual facial hair.

In 2011, one-third of all divorce filings in the United States

contained the word Facebook. MATTHEW SANTORO, MIND=BLOWN (2016)

March2017 | 37
COVER STORY

Vinyl fan Zdenek Pelc with

coloured vinyl discs pressed at
his factory in the Czech Republic
 ing
The

of
Vnyl
They said vinyl was dead.
But nobody told Zdenk Pelc
BY TIM BO UQU ET

AS HE LEADS THE WAY into a 100-year-old

building in the village of Lodnice, some
40 minutes outside Prague, Zdenk Pelc is
smiling. Its the smile of a man who has been
proved right. This two-storey former weaving
factory in the Czech Republic has been the
scene of a musical revolution.
Outside, it is a cold, foggy winter morning.
Inside, the heat is tropical. Steam hisses as hot
round black cakes, 10 cm in diameter and made
from PVC, drop down from a maze of muscular
pipes onto 49 presses, many of which look like
museum pieces. Here they are percussively

March2017 | 39
THE KING OF VINYL

flattened between engraved nickel says the former steel-company mar-

plates known as stampers under 120 keting manager who joined GZ in
tonnes of pressure and 200C of heat. 1983 as its 32-year-old CEO. I did not
Some 30 seconds later, nimble- foresee such a boom, but I did believe
fingered operators remove perfectly vinyl would have a small future and
microgrooved 30 cm-wide discs that if any company was going to be the
experts once said were heading for last making them, I wanted it to be us.
extinction: vinyl records. From one Pelc mothballed some machines
press alone, copies of Justin Biebers and used their parts to keep the oth-
album Purpose are being f lattened ers going. We went to the UK, Greece
and stacked to cool at a rate of hun- and Australia and bought up redun-
dreds a minute. dant vinyl presses. Did those who had
Best-selling albums by The Beatles, got out of the industry think Pelc was
Pink Floyd, Coldplay, The Chemical mad? Maybe, he shrugs, but they
Brothers, U2, Black Sabbath and were happy to take our money.
many others have all been Digital technology was
given vinyl life here supposed to spell the
at GZ Media in the end of vinyl records.
Czech Republic. It is the search But in common with
GZ is the worlds for soul that has a growing number
biggest producer of driven the vinyl of serious music
vinyl discs every revival among a fans, Pelc simply
year it presses 20 prefers the sound
million of them. new generation that vinyl makes.
Every week, 35 ton- of music fans He feels that the
nes of newly pressed sound is richer and
discs packaged in their has more depth than
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANTON IN KRATOCH VIL/VII
sleeves (which are also other formats. Digital or
printed at GZ) leave the factory CDs are fine for the car, he says,
bound for the US alone. but at home its always vinyl on the
And yet in 1994 GZ produced just turntable. At weekends I like to relax
400,000 discs as, across the world, with Dire Straits or the Bee Gees, says
vinyl was slowly being consigned to the 64-year-old father of four.
analogue history, first by the advent It all comes down to frequencies.
of CDs, then by digital downloads and Vinyl is based around the medium
streaming. Most vinyl producers were frequencies of the sound spectrum,
scrapping their pressing machines. which are warmer and more enjoya-
But not Zdenek Pelc. He decided ble to listen to. Digital CDs employ the
tokeep going. I am not a visionary, entire range of frequencies, making

40 | March2017
 GZ presses
20 million discs
every year

for a colder, harder sound. As Prague- biggest market, Billboard also has a
based critic and vinyl enthusiast Petr vinyl chart for albums.
Vacha puts it, With digital music you Gramofonov Zvody (Gramo-
get everything except soul. phone Record Factory) was founded
back in 1948 and pressed its first
IT IS THAT SEARCH FOR SOUL THAT record in 1951. The then state-con-
has driven the vinyl revival among a trolled GZ produced state-approved
new generation of music fans. Global classical music, folk tunes and music
vinyl sales dropped to their all-time for weddings, funerals and patriotic
low point of $35 million in 2005. But celebrations.
since then they have steadily risen, Come the 1960s and 70s, GZ was
reaching $416 million in 2015. pressing albums for Western record
Vinyl sales may have increased, companies, but most of these were
but they still represent a tiny percent- not available at home. The Rolling
age of global music revenues, which Stones were partly banned, Pelc ex-
totalled $15 billion in 2014. That said, plains with a wry smile. Just a cou-
almost no major artist today will re- ple of their albums were allowed. The
lease an album without offering it in Beatles were more politically accept-
vinyl as well as CD format. able and were banned less.
In 2015, the UK launched its first However, banned albums did find
Vinyl Charts after record sales reached their way out of the GZ factory and cir-
a 20-year high. In the US, the worlds culated widely, as Lodenices mayor,

March2017 | 41
THE KING OF VINYL

Vclav Bauer, recalls. You would buy at Goldman Sachs. Pelc convinced
a record on the black market, bring it Brody to buy into GZ. Within two
home and invite all your friends over. years Brody had bought them out and
It was an occasion. owned the company outright.

AS PROTEST AND YOUTH CULTURE PELC AND BRODY TOOK GZ GLOBAL,

spread in Western countries, the broadening its print and packaging
times were also changing behind the range, investing in the best machin-
Iron Curtain. A John Lennon Wall ap- ery and winning contracts from IKEA,
peared in Prague, covered in graffiti Johnnie Walker, Samsung and Micro-
inspired by the singer following his soft. In 2001 it started making DVDs.
death in 1980. The authorities painted Then in 2006 Pelc raised the funds to
it over, but the famous face and the buy the company from Brody. When
Give Peace a Chance slogans reap- Ken sold to me he told me, You are the
peared overnight. Young Czechs no best investment of my life.
longer talked of Leninism but Len- Pelc has brought a distinctive man-
nonism and knew all the words to the agement style to his company, intro-
Beatles song Revolution. Today, the ducing an annual award for the best
wall is an established feature on the employee with the prize of a job for life
Prague tourist trail. and a salary to match.
As the nonviolent Velvet Revolution The first winner was Lada Kuss,
against Moscow-controlled Czecho- who joined GZ 52 years ago. Now 80,
slovakia took hold in November 1989, he is in his home away from home, an
it did so to a soundtrack provided by upstairs suite where a diamond knife
the Velvet Underground, Frank Zappa machine is cutting narrow grooves into
and home-produced bands such as a slowly revolving copper-coated steel
Plastic People of the Universe, one of disc. This is the first stage of the album-
whose fans was Vclav Havel, who be- making process. Copies of these mas-
came president of a free Czechoslova- ter discs are used to make the stampers
kia in December 1989. on the machines downstairs in the
The previous year Pelc had added pressing room.
CD production to GZs services. He had There are only 23 of these machines
the chance to run the business along left in the world and GZ has four of
Western lines and expand the product them. They are well over 30 years old
range, essential to GZs survival. and require careful tending under
GZ was privatised and then in Ladas watchful eye. In 2014 Lada had
1998 Pelc met the man who, he says, a heart operation and was in a coma
changed my life: veteran American for three weeks, Pelc explains. The
investor Kenneth Brody, an ex-partner first thing he said when he came out of

42 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

the coma was, Are my machines OK?. collection was not long ago selling for
He loves his machines. just under US$3000 on eBay.
Its true, Lada admits modestly. Today, GZ Media has 1940 staff and
It was the longest I had been away is the biggest employer in this part
from them. of Bohemia. Sixty per cent of GZs
These days, GZ can pro- workforce are women. They
duce vinyl records in all work harder, are more
sorts of shapes and ocused and are better
colours: elaborate GZ produces with their hands,
picture discs, discs vinyl records in he says. GZ now
of many colours, a all forms including has sales teams
Bob Dylan album in London, Paris,
in the shape of a
a Bob Dylan album New York and Cal-
blue guitar pick. in the shape of a ifornia pitching for
Everything is pos- blue guitar pick contracts. This year,
sible, says Pelc. it opens a plant out-
From The Beatless side Toronto.
Magical Mystery Tour to And GZs fastest-grow-
Monty Pythons Total Rubbish, ing product line is its first. Its
Pelc takes pride in his products, but it vinyl records account for 45 per cent
is the lavish double-box set of Rolling of its business and it is now making
Stones albums, EPs and hits compila- new presses from the original designs
tions from 1964 to 2005, produced in 18 so far to satisfy demand, which
2010, that is top of his personal charts. Pelc predicts will hit 28 million units
Each individually numbered lim- in the next year.
ited edition ran to 27 separate pieces Can the boom continue? I am no
of vinyl in original sleeves. Fifteen astrologer, he smiles. All I can tell
thousand double boxed sets, hun- you is that were seeing 50 per cent
dreds of thousands of pieces of vinyl growth now and its a long way from
a very big project. This sought-after 50 down to zero.

AL DENTE

How to cook the perfect amount of pasta:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.
2. Wrong.
@9GAG

March2017 | 43
 Lifes Like That
SEEING THE FUNNY SIDE

MAR
1947
From the Archives
Cast your mind back 70 long years to March 1947,
a more innocent time when bubble gum was not yet
known throughout the world
Shortly before sailing for the Netherlands I stopped in
a store on Broadway in New York to buy some bubble
gum. It was still scarce at that time and I bought all their
small stock.
Going to have a party? inquired the shop assistant.
No, I said, Im taking it to the children of my friends
in Holland. Its still unknown there.
As I turned to leave I overheard my shop assistant
remark to another, See that guy? Hes taking bubble gum to
Holland; hes going to civilise Europe! SUBMITTED BY F.K. WILLEKES-MACDONALD

DECIMATED year. At the checkout, the teenage

On the night before my daughters cashier glanced at the candles,
tenth birthday, I realised I didnt looked at my father-in-law and
have the 1 and candles needed asked, Is he 101 years old?!
to top the cake. y 78-year-old SUBMITTED BY SAM BECKFORD
father-in-law was
visiting, so we ju ed FOND FAREWELL
in the car and A friend of mine had an aunt
headed to the sto e. who was into health food way
While sorting before anybody else even
through the num ered considered it. She would send
candles, Idecidedd to away for special beans and
grab an extra 1 t powders and nuts. And sure
be ready for next enough, she kept trim and lively

44 | March2017
 and never got sick. But her family did
not approve. It wasnt how the Lord The Great Tweet-off:
meant folks to eat. At a ripe old age, Office Edition
this aunt went into a coma.
People spend the majority of their
See? said her family. When her
adult lives at work and apparently
natural time came, her mind passed a hefty chunk of that time tweeting
but her body was too healthy to go. about it.
ROY BLOUNT JNR., in Garden and Gun
I want to hate my life in a different
building person looking for a
PICKY PICKY new job. @INTERNETHIPPO
Over dinner, I explained the health
benefits of a colourful meal to my Adorable idea. Colleagues have
been writing names on their food
family. The more colours, the greater
inthe office fridge. I am currently
the variety of nutrients, I said. eating a yoghurt called Debbie.
Pointing to our food, I asked, How @FUSSYSAFFA
many colours do you see?
Interviewer: Whats your greatest
Six, volunteered my daughter.
strength?
Seven if you count the burned parts. *45 minutes later*
Source: Facebook
Me: Im very comfortable with
silence. @ROLLININTHESEAT
GOLDEN OLDIE
Office fun. Replace your coworkers
My daughter
mouse with a larger mouse so he
Sophie is thinks his hands are shrinking. Then
34 years old call him baby hands until he quits.
and my @VINEYILLE
grandson Tim is
The problem with teaching a man
seven. Recently
to fish is that eventually someone
Tim was very will microwave that fish in the work
upset because his break room. @THECATWHISPRER
goldfish, Pinkie,
St. Peter: Why should I let you into
St
had died.
heaven?
Next time just Me: Once a colleague said
buy Tim another goldfish and saay supposably seven times in
Pinkie woke up, I said after listeening
i a meeting and I just
to Sophies story. let her.
P HOTOS: iSTOCK

I saw Sophies face change. M Mum, St. Peter: Get

how could you? she said. So th hats in here.
@ABBYCOHENWL
how Goldie lived to be 15!
SUBMITTED BY OLGA ARNOLD
A
SCIENCE

Our tears are far more important

than scientists once believed

Why
We
Cry BY M ANDY OAK LAND E R
FR O M T I ME

THERES A LOT scientists dont know

or cant agree on about people who cry.
Charles Darwin once declared emotional
tears purposeless, and nearly 150 years
later, emotional crying remains one of
the human bodys more confounding
mysteries. Though some other species
shed tears reflexively as a result of pain
WHY WE CRY

or irritation, humans are the only creatures whose tears can be

triggered by their feelings. But why?
Researchers have generally focused their attention more on
emotions than on physiological processes that appear to be their
by-products. Scientists are not interested in the butterflies in
our stomach, but in love, writes Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at
Tilburg University in the Netherlands and the worlds foremost
expert on crying, in his book Why Only Humans Weep.
But crying is more than a symptom ridiculous, like the 1960s view that hu-
of sadness, as Vingerhoets and others mans evolved from aquatic apes and
are showing. Its triggered by a range tears helped us live in salt water. Other
of feelings from empathy and sur- theories persist despite lack of proof,
prise to anger and grief and unlike like the idea popularised by biochem-
those butterflies that flap around in- ist William Frey in 1985 that crying re-
visibly when were in love, tears are a moves toxic substances from the body
signal that others can see. That insight that build up during times of stress.
is central to the newest thinking about Evidence is mounting in support of
the science of crying. some new, more plausible theories.
For centuries, people thought tears One such theory is that tears trigger
originated in the heart. A prevailing
theory in the 1600s held that emo-

PHOTOS (PREVI OUS SPREAD AND THI S PAGE): GETTY IM AGES

tions especially love heated the
heart, which generated water vapour
in order to cool itself down. The heart
vapour would then rise to the head,
condense near the eyes and escape as
tears. Finally, in 1662, a Danish scien-
tist named Niels Stensen discovered
that the lacrimal gland was the proper
origin point of tears. Thats when sci-
entists began to unpack what possible
evolutionary benefit could be con-
ferred by fluid that springs from the
eye. Stensens theory: tears were sim-
ply a way to keep the eye moist.
In his book, Vingerhoets lists eight
competing theories. Some are flat-out

48 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

social bonding and human connec- Scientists have found some evidence
tion. We cry from a very early age in that emotional tears are chemically
order to bring about a connection different from the ones people shed
with others. Humans come into the while chopping onions. In addition to
world physically unequipped to deal the enzymes, lipids, metabolites and
with anything on their own. Even electrolytes that make up any tears,
though we get more capable, grown- emotional tears contain more protein.
ups never quite grow out of the occa- One hypothesis is that this higher pro-
sional bout of helplessness. tein content makes emotional tears
Crying signals to yourself and more viscous, so they stick to the skin
other people that theres some im- more strongly and run down the face
portant problem that is at least tem- more slowly, making them more likely
porarily beyond your ability to cope, to be seen by others.

Researchers believe that

adults as do babies use tears as a tool
for getting what they need

says Jonathan Rottenberg, an emotion Tears show others that were vul-
researcher and professor of psychol- nerable, and vulnerability is critical
ogy at the University of South Florida. to human connection. The same
neuronal areas of the brain are acti-
NEW RESEARCH is also showing that vated by seeing someone emotionally
tears appear to elicit a response in aroused as being emotionally aroused
other people that mere distress does oneself, says Michael Trimble, a
not. In a study published in February behavioural neurologist at University
2016, researchers found that tears College London. There must have
activate compassion. When test sub- been some point in time, evolutionar-
jects were shown a photograph of ily, when the tear became something
someone visibly crying, compared that automatically set off empathy and
with the same photo with the tears compassion in another.
digitally removed, they were much A less heartwarming theory fo-
more likely to want to reach out and cuses on cryings ability to manipu-
reported feeling more connected to late others. Researchers believe that
that person. just as babies use tears as a tool for

March2017 | 49
WHY WE CRY

getting what they need, so do adults plus molecules in tears to see if theres
whether theyre aware of it or not. one responsible.
We learn early on that crying can But what does all of this mean?
neutralise anger very powerfully, says It is a question researchers are now
Rottenberg, which is part of the rea- turning to.
son he thinks tears are so integral to Michael Trimble, one of the worlds
fights between lovers particularly leading experts on crying, says, We
when someone feels guilty and wants dont know anything about people
the other persons forgiveness. who dont cry.
A small study in the journal Science
that was widely cited and widely SO, THE QUESTION ARISES, if tears
hyped by the media suggested are so important for human bond-
that tears from women contained a ing, are people who never cry per-
substance that inhibited the sexual haps less socially connected? Thats
arousal of men. When 24 men sniffed exactly what preliminary research

Tearless people experience more negative

feelings such as anger and disgust
than people who cry

real tears, they felt less aroused by is finding, according to clinical psy-
photos of womens faces, and when chologist Cord Benecke, a professor at
another 50 men sniffed them, they the University of Kassel in Germany.
had measurably reduced testoster- He conducted intimate, therapy-style
one levels in their saliva than they did interviews with 120 individuals and
when they sniffed the control saline. looked to see if people who didnt cry
The bigger story, believes Noam were different from those who did. He
Sobel, one of the studys authors and a found that they were. The non-crying
professor of neurobiology at the Weiz- people had a tendency to withdraw
mann Institute of Science in Israel, is and described their relationship ex-
that tears might be reducing aggres- periences as less connected, he says.
sion, which the study didnt look at. Tearless people also experienced
Mens tears may well have the same more negative aggressive feelings, such
effect. Sobel and his research group as rage, anger and disgust, than people
are currently wading through the 160- who cried. More research is needed to

50 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

determine whether people who dont BUT OTHER EVIDENCE does back the
cry really are different from the rest of notion of the so-called good cry that
us, and some is soon to come: Trimble leads to catharsis. One of the most im-
is now conducting the first scientific portant factors, it seems, is giving the
study of people with such a tendency. positive effects of crying the release
So far, though crying appears to enough time to sink in.
have interpersonal benefits, its not When Ad Vingerhoets and his col-
necessarily unhealthy not to do it. leagues showed people a tearjerker
Virtually no evidence exists that cry- and measured their mood 90 minutes
ing comes with any positive effects later instead of right after the movie,
on health. Yet the myth persists that people who had cried reported being
its an emotional and physical de- in a better mood than they had been
tox, like its some kind of workout before the film. Once the benefits of
for your body, Rottenberg says. One crying set in, he explains, it can be an
analysis looked at articles about cry- effective way to recover from a strong
ing in the media 140 years worth bout of emotion.
and found that 94 per cent described Modern crying research is still in
it as good for the mind and body and its infancy, but the mysteries of tears
said holding back tears would result and the recent evidence that theyre
in the opposite. Its kind of a fable, far more important than scientists
says Rottenberg. once believed drive Vingerhoets and
Also overblown is the idea that cry- the small cadre of tear researchers to
ing is always followed by relief. When keep at it.
researchers show people a sad movie Tears are of extreme relevance for
in a laboratory and then measure human nature, says Vingerhoets. We
their mood immediately afterwards, cry because we need other people. So
those who cry are in worse moods Darwin, he says with a laugh, was
than those who dont. totally wrong.
FROM WHY WE CRY IN TIME, JULY 2016 2016 BY MANDY OAKLANDER. PUBLISHED BY TIME INC.

ISNT IT IRONIC

Q Swedens famous Ice Hotel has a smoke detector.

Q Father of Traffic Safety William Eno invented the stop sign,

crosswalk, traffic circle, one-way street and taxi stand but never
learned how to drive.
INDEPENDENT.CO.UK, WASHINGTON POST

March2017 | 51
INSTANT ANSWERS

Tiny but
dangerous:
mosquitoes
transmit
deadly diseases

Mosquitoes
BY H A Z E L FLYNN

START AT THE BEGINNING have certainly been preserved in resin,

Technically, mosquitoes are flies. expert attempts to extract DNA from
That is to say, the 3500 known spe- these insects have been fruitless. Its
cies of mozzies are part of the Dip- now thought that previously success-
tera order of insects, which takes in ful attempts involved inadvertent DNA
all two-winged flies, and their name contamination.
comes from the Spanish for little fly.
Theyve been on the Earth for more
BY THE NUMBERS
than 100 million years, compared to
just 190,000 years for modern humans. 438,000
Deaths from malaria
SO THE JURASSIC PARK SCENARIO worldwide in 2015,
IS POSSIBLE? the majority being children
Sorry, no. While mosquitoes co-existed under ve.
with dinosaurs, and prehistoric insects

52 | March2017
 WHAT THREATS DO chikungunya; and various
THEY POSE? forms of encephalitis.
Few things are less condu-
cive to sleep than the whine DO THEY AFFECT
produced by a mosquitos ANIMALS, TOO?
wingbeats, but these crea- Yes, in a few different ways.
tures arent just annoying, They transmit encephalitis
most species are dangerous. to horses, heartworm to
The females, which feed on dogs and Rift Valley fever
blood to nurture their eggs, When it to livestock, and in Alaska
are vectors for disease, they gather in such mas-
meaning they carry the dis- comes to sive numbers the swarms
ease from one infected or- killing can asphyxiate caribou.
ganism to another without
being affected themselves.
humans, no DOES THE PLANET NEED
PHOTOS: (MOSQUITO) iSTOCK; (GATES) RUSSELL WATKINS/DFID; ILLUSTRATIONS: iSTOCK

other animal THEM?

TELL ME MORE even comes It seems not. Respected
O n l y c e r t a i n t y p e s of journal Nature asked ex-
mosquitoes can transmit close. perts what would happen
certain types of diseases, BILL GATES, if we were able to elimi-
but bet ween t hem t hey philanthropist and nate mosquitoes. The con-
entrepreneur
wreak enormous damage. sensus was t hat wh i le
In fact, they are the most some fish, frog, lizard and
deadly creatures on the spider species would need
planet on average, sharks kill fewer to change their diet, no significant
than a dozen people a year, snakes ecological benefit would be lost. Says
kill 50,000, humans kill around half entomologist Joseph Conlon, If we
a million and mosquitoes kill twice eradicated them tomorrow, the eco-
that by transmitting diseases, notably systems where they are active will
malaria. Other diseases they transmit hiccup and then get on with life.
include Zika and West Nile viruses; Something better or worse would
dengue, Yellow and Ross River fevers; take over.

Using insect repellent is the best way to

prevent diseases like Zika, dengue, and
chikungunya that are spread by mosquitoes.
US CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION

March2017 | 53
 SEE
THE WORLD ...
Turn the page

What do you see?

A) The warmest beach in Siberia.
B) Vanillacaramel ice-cream up close.
C) Ice oes on Pluto.
... DIFFERENTLY
Answer: C What appears here
tobe a bald spot ringed by red
bumps is actually a moving mosaic
of 50-km-wide ice islands,
perpetually rising and sinking from
a reservoir deep below Plutos
surface. The bumps? Frozen crust,
shoved aside as theice spreads
about as quickly asyour ngernails
grow. NASAs unmanned New
Horizons probe, launched in 2006,
has travelled more than four billion
kilometres for shots like these.
Atpress time her new destination
beyond Pluto the ice dwarf is an
ancient object dubbed 2014 MU69,
adrift in the Kuiper Belt on the
outer reaches of the solar system
which she is expected to reach
andphotograph in January 2019.
PHOTOS: COURTESY NASA/HUAPL/SWRI
 All in a Days Work
HUMOUR ON THE JOB

FAT CAT
A client recently brought her two cats to my
husbands veterinary clinic for their annual
check-up. One was a small-framed, round
tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a
long, sleek black cat.
She watched closely as I put each on the
scale. They weigh about the same, I told her.
That proves it! she exclaimed. Black does
make you look slimmer. And stripes make you
look fat. SUBMITTED BY SUSAN DANIEL

QUALIFIRED animals made, and they got them all

The skills section of your resume correct until we got to a mouse.
is where you can impress hiring Click, they said.
managers with your qualifications. It took me a few moments to
Or not, as these real examples show. realise what they meant but even
Q I offer mediocrity at its best. three and four year olds use
Q Im try-lingual. computers these days!
Q Ive got a PhD in human feelings. SUBMITTED BY CARYS MCCAULEY
Q Grate communication skills.
Q Familiar with all faucets of ART WORKAROUND
accounting. While shopping for a painting,
Q PlayStation 2. a woman and her ten-year-old
Q Extensive background in public son were having trouble choosing
accounting. I can also stand on my between two options. A few
head! Source: resumania.com minutes later they settled on a
picture with an autumn theme.
MOUSE 2.0 I see you prefer autumn
I was asking my nursery school scenes to floral ones, said the
class about noises that shop owner assisting them.

58 | March2017
 home. One night I was up late
studying for my clinical exam.
Because my father woke me every
morning at seven, I put a big note
on my door: DO NOT DISTURB.
Studying until 3am.
This got me no sympathy from my
father, who is himself a doctor. He left
a note attached to mine: The hotel
management hopes youre enjoying
your stay. Wed like to remind you
that checkout was at noon
approximately six years ago.
SUBMITTED BY VARGHESE ABRAHAM

You might be overthinking it.

Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub.
GROWN-UP CHOICES
I spend three minutes every day
No, replied the boy. This choosing a TV channel to leave on
painting is wider, so itll cover the for my dog. Then I go to work, and
three holes I put in the wall. people take me seriously as an adult.
Source: gcfl.net @DAMIENFAHEY

SING OUT IF YOU KNOW IT PICKING UP THE BILL

I teach year two, and during our When we finished a
English lesson we have a personality assessment
session where we have to find at work, I asked my friend
CARTOON : M IKE BALDWI N; PH OTOS: i STOCK

amazing words. It changes Dan if he would share the

every week, and last weeks results with his wife.
word was enquire. That would require me
One child put his hand up to go home and say, Hi,

ZZ
straight away. I know what it honey. I just paid someone
means, he said. Its when you $400 to tell me whats wrong
sing in a church! PLEASE with me, he said. And
SUBMITTED BY LOIS JONES

DO based on that, considering

we have been married for

NOT
LATE CHECKOUT 23 years, shed hand me
After my second year of a bill for $798,000.
medical school, I moved back DISTURB SUBMITTED BY RON JAMES

March2017 | 59
 LIFE LESSONS

Do the
Right How to make
Thing
BY LU C R I N A LD I
choices that
reflect your
values
ASTRID BAUMGARDNER HAD grown Today, as a lecturer and coordinator
accustomed to her morning routine. of career strategies at the Yale Univer-
Her husband, a securities lawyer, sity School of Music (a position she
woke up excited to head to the office; loves), Baumgardner helps students
Baumgardner, however, felt more in- make decisions as tough as her own.
clined to stay in bed. She should have Through her story and theirs, shes dis-
loved her job as a partner at a law firm covered that people feel most fulfilled
in New York that brought in a hefty when they choose options that align
ILLUSTRATION: ANJA JAVELONA

salary. But she couldnt muster the en- with their most deeply held values.
thusiasm the position didnt fulfil her Heres how to stay true to yours.
need to help people or give her a sense
of purpose. So, in 2000, she left the KNOW YOUR VALUES
legal profession after 25 years, swap- If you hope to shape your life accord-
ping prestige for passion. After a series ing to your ideals, you have to know
of different positions, she earned her what those ideals are. Baumgardner
certificate as a life coach in 2008 and begins her sessions by having partici-
started her own business. pants identify the concepts that are

March2017 | 61
DO THE RIGHT THING

most important to them from a list: volunteer. Researchers theorise that

honesty, structure, family and so on. such activities enhance our mood,
Those qualities are influenced by your which boosts dopamine levels in cer-
parents, your culture and society as a tain areas of the brain, improving
whole, she says, but you have to take our cognitive abilities and helping us
ownership of your own decisions. weigh different options.
Heres the tricky part: almost all of In one 2013 study, Ohio State Uni-
these qualities are things most of us versity psychology professor Ellen
aspire to hold dear. There are a lot of Peters followed two groups: one that
shoulds, Baumgardner says. received small bags of treats and one
We may feel like we should covet that didnt. The mild positive feel-
adventure, even when ings inspired by the gift
we spend our free time influenced subjects to
bingeing on Netflix. To A single decision make better choices and
determine which prin- improved their work-
ciples are more than just can seem like a ing memory. If you can
aspirational, she asks tug-of-war, but make someone just a
her clients to reflect on life choices dont little happier, they may
situations that resonate need to be an become a better deci-
with them. sion maker, says Peters.
For one of Baumgard- either/or But the toughest de-
ners students, creativ- question cisions often arrive at
ity and lifelong learning the most inconvenient
were key. He felt that times. When youre
being in an orchestra would stifle that under duress, Peters recommends
desire he wouldnt have autonomy consulting a family member, a friend
over what and how he played, she or a professional. They can provide
says. After graduating, he launched advice thats not tinged by work dead-
a career as a soloist, and became the lines, spousal drama or household
director of an ensemble that premieres repairs sapping your mental energy.
works by contemporary composers.
BALANCE ALL OPTIONS
FIND THE BEST TIME Of course, people make decisions
Identifying your values will steer you that contradict their ideals all the
in the right direction, but a few strat- time, no matter how single-minded
egies can help you follow through. or happy they may be. There are
Before you make a big decision, do lots of values we hold dear, and they
something that will put you in a good frequently come into conflict with
mood: exercise, socialise with friends, one another, says Peters. Its not so

62 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

much that people dont know what them to reclaim that inspiration. A
they want; its that there are many pianist might benefit from listening to
things we desire, and we dont always the composer who sparked her interest
know how to make the trade-off. A in the instrument or from watching a
retired couple, for example, might be heartfelt live performance. Following
torn between yearning to be actively that, surrounding yourself with people
involved in their grandchildrens lives who share your passion can also pre-
and using their free time to travel. vent you from faltering. A group can
While a single decision can seem remind you, Hey, were doing this
like a tug-of-war between competing because we love it, she says.
impulses, broader life choices dont If youre still struggling, even after
need to be a definitive either/or. The revisiting your inspirations or seek-
retired couple might delay an over- ing out community support, theres
seas trip to explore locations closer to no shame in revising your core values.
home, or commit to setting aside time If youre determined to pitch in at a
for a holiday with their family every homeless shelter meal programme
summer. An omnivore yearning to cut but spend the evening with friends
out animal products may find it easiest instead, it may be time to accept that
to make small-scale adjustments that camaraderie is more important to
support the principles that prompted you than volunteering. Better yet, find
his dietary shift. If he opposes factory opportunities to give back to the com-
farming, he could consider eating ethi- munity with your friends.
cally raised meat. You may also learn that what you
believed was a core priority actually
STAY THE COURSE has much more to do with living up
Students often stumble into Baum- to the expectations of your parents,
gardners office when theyre grap- co-workers or culture. If your values
pling with major decisions or life align with who you really are, no-one
changes. Baumgardner typically starts will have to ask you to make those
by examining what led her client down choices, Baumgardner says. Itll just
a path, then brainstorming ways for feel right.

FULL MARKS

I have arrived for the positive thinking workshop.

The class is half empty.
@MRNICKHARVEY (NICK HARVEY)

March2017 | 63
DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

What happened to Keri

and Chip Gerstenslager
shocked everyone at
the hospital

11 Hours
in Room ...
BY TI M B OTOS F R OM C A N TO N R E P.CO M
P HOTOGRAP HED BY SHANN ON TAGGA RT

STILL INSIDE HIS MUMS WOMB, Austin Gerstenslager

began a journey to his birth and certain death.
It was shortly before noon on August 18, 2012, a
Saturday. Half a dozen nurses and assistants wheeled
the mother and her unborn baby out of Room 407 in
the birth centre of Aultman Hospital in Canton, Ohio.
The bed glided across glossy tiled floors, en route to
an emergency caesarean section.
ELEVEN HOURS IN ROOM 407

Tears slid down Keri Gerstenslagers decided to try for number 3. But preg-
cheeks. It was 14 weeks before her nancy didnt happen as easily for the
due date. Even worse, her waters couple this time. They ultimately tried
had broken six weeks earlier and had in vitro, and it was successful. In Feb-
slowed the development of the foetus. ruary 2012, Keri began her pregnancy
Medical staff converged on Austin with three embryos growing inside her.
after his birth. They threw everything After a few months, though, she lost
that technology and medicine could two. At 20 weeks, with one baby left,
offer at the tiny baby. Nothing seemed her waters broke.
to help. Everyone concluded that his Keri prepared to go into labour, but
lungs were not mature enough to keep it didnt progress. Doctors put her on
him alive. bed rest to save the third and final
Dr Roger Vazquez, the neonatolo- foetus. She took leave from her job as
gist who treated Austin, said he had an occupational therapist at Mercy
zero chance of survival. Medical Center. She drank litres of
The Gerstenslager family had fluids to boost her amniotic fluid.
prepared for this moment. Theyd Why me?! she yelled at God, while
memorised survival rates of prema- cooped up in bed.
ture babies born at various intervals
of gestation. Theyd examined their KERI READ UP ON SURVIVAL rates of
faith. Theyd thought long and hard premature babies. But those statistics
about the fine line between selfish were for ideal situations in which the
and selfless decisions. mothers waters had not broken. On
So after much soul-searching by a calendar, Keri marked off each day
his parents, baby Austin was removed that she remained pregnant. Her goal:
from life support. He was taken back make it to the 26th week August 18,
to Room 407. Together there, Keri and to be exact. If she got that far, the
her husband, Chip, held their baby Gerstenslagers would try everything
and waited for him to slowly die. within reason to save their babys life.
And thats when this story actually They would name him Austin and
begins. had selected the middle name of
Luke, from the Bible. St Luke is the
CHIP, 43, AND KERI GERSTENSLAGER, patron saint of doctors and surgeons.
34, already had two children. Keri had We felt he was going to need that.
had no trouble conceiving either of He was probably going to have a lot
her blonde daughters, Kendra, six, of physicians involved in his life, Keri
and Erika, three. said.
We just felt we were supposed to With all but one day crossed off her
have another baby, Keri said. They calendar, Keri went into labour on

66 | March2017
 Only Keri held
Austin in the
hours after his
birth. She didnt
want him to
die in anyone
elses arms.

August 17, a Friday. Her contractions Labour and delivery nurse Jodi
were four minutes apart. Johnson, who has sons of her own,
The couple arrived at Aultman tried to reassure Keri. So did Chip.
Hospital at noon that Friday. Keri Then Keris obstetrician, Dr Steven
landed in Room 407, an antepartum Willard, entered the room. He told her
suite for expectant mums with preg- she had to deliver immediately.
nancy complications. An ultrasound
revealed that Austins measurements AUSTIN LUKE GERSTENSLAGER was
were more in line with a 23-week-old, born at 12.17pm. His left eye was
not a 26-weeker. The lack of amniotic fused shut. The length of a school
fluid had stunted him. ruler, he weighed just over 700 grams.
Keri tried to keep that baby inside He doesnt look that bad, thought
her. A foetus develops exponentially Vazquez.
PHOTO COURTESY KERI GERSTEN SLAGER

with each week its inside a womb. The babys colour was good. Chip
The next day, no matter how it turned swore he heard him cry.
out, she would reach her self-imposed Placed in an Isolette a mobile in-
minimum of 26 weeks. cubator of sorts Austin was wheeled
She made it barely. to the neonatal intensive care unit
With a foetal heart-rate monitor con- (NICU). Then Vazquez and a medical
nected to Keris stomach, doctors and team went to work. They slid a tube
nurses watched Austins heartbeat. At down his throat. They coated his lungs
about 10.30 the next morning, his rate with surfactant (a chemical many pre-
dipped. Its called a decelerating heart- mature babies lack) to prevent them
beat a sign that the baby is in distress. from collapsing. They placed him on

March2017 | 67
ELEVEN HOURS IN ROOM 407

an oscillator, a machine that breathes full of water, King performed a brief

for him. He was on pure oxygen. ceremony. Austin Luke, in the name
Austin did not respond well. The of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I
oxygen saturation level in his blood baptise you, he said.
hovered near 55 per cent. It should In the next few hours, Chips
have been 90 per cent by then. parents, brother and sister, and Keris
Vazquez wasnt surprised. Austins mother came into Room 407 to meet
lung tissue had probably stopped and say goodbye to Austin. Keri
developing a couple weeks after Keris wouldnt let anyone hold him. She
waters broke, he reasoned. was afraid he would die in someone
Vazquez went to the recovery room elses arms.
where Keri was waking to speak with Alone again, Chip and Keri admired
her and Chip. their baby as he snuggled into Keris
Zero chance of survival, Vazquez chest.
said when pushed for odds. Even if Look at his blond eyebrows, Keri
Austin is put on life support, his or- cooed.
gans would fail, he told Chip. His hair, his fingernails.
Johnson, the nurse who cared for The end, they believed, was coming
Keri that day, heard it all. She couldnt soon. And that was OK.
help herself; she began to cry. The only sound in the room was an
Vazquez handed Austin to Keri. occasional beep from Keris IV line.
The Gerstenslagers had agreed weeks NICU nurse Melissa Giannini popped
before not to turn their infant into a in every so often to check Austins
science experiment just to ease their heartbeat. When it was time for him to
guilt. Theyd tried to save him, and it die, his heart rate would begin to slow.
didnt work. It was time to let him go.
If he was going to die, hed leave this AFTER FOUR HOURS, Austin was
earth cradled in his mothers arms at still breathing. His heart thumped
peace and in no pain. at a healthy 120 beats per minute.
The most beautiful 26-week-old He moved his head when Keris IV
baby Ive ever seen, Johnson told Keri. beeped. He wrapped his fingers and
By 1.30 pm, Chip, Keri, and Austin toes around the fingers of his par-
had returned to Room 407. ents. The Gerstenslagers wondered
whether they were doing the right
KERI HELD AUSTIN CLOSE. I love you thing.
we love you, she whispered to him. They summoned Vazquez. Some-
Chip contacted the Reverend Don times it just takes a while, he ex-
King at their parish. Fifteen minutes plained. Austin had a strong heart,
later, the priest arrived. With a shell he told them. If they second-guessed

68 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

their decision, even five years She could barely hear it because he
down the road, Vazquez told the was sucking on that pacifier so hard.
Gerstenslagers they could call him. Hes beautiful, Kessler told Chip
Chip thought about making funeral and Keri. His heart is strong hes
arrangements. Theyd have Austin moving air. He even has a little bit of
cremated. Giannini placed a stetho- an attitude about him. Do you mind
scope on Austins chest. He tried to if we run a few tests? Im not trying to
swat it away. Four hours became five, change your mind. We just want to see
then six. Still 120 beats per minute. where we are.
What the hell is going on? Chip Austins blood oxygen saturation
thought. registered 88 per cent, normal. A
blood gas reading showed an accept-
NURSE ERICA BUCKLEW began her able level of carbon dioxide in his
shift in the NICU at 7pm. Austin and blood. His blood was not acidotic,
his parents remained in Room 407, which meant he was getting sufficient
still waiting for the end. Word about oxygen into his body.
this baby had spread throughout the The clock passed midnight. Aus-
unit. This baby who wasnt acting like tin had lived into the next day. It was
a baby on the verge of death. a milestone for Keri, although she
Everyone was talking about him, couldnt explain why.
Bucklew recalled. We all waited for Kessler, whod phoned Vazquez be-
updates. fore running the extra tests, phoned
Back in Room 407, the minutes him again. He digested what she
and hours ticked away. Vazquez was was telling him. Why is this not going
at home reading. Nurse practitioner according to plan? he wondered.
Fran Kessler had taken over the NICU Kessler put Chip on the phone.
for the night. Giannini kept checking Chip, the game has changed,
on Austin. He was going strong. Vazquez told him. Chip Gerstenslager
Would you come with me next said he will remember that sentence
time, to meet him and his parents? for the rest of his life.
Giannini asked Kessler. It was 12.20am, about 11 hours since
It was about 11pm. Kessler intro- theyd entered Room 407 to allow their
duced herself to the Gerstenslagers. baby to die. Giannini, the nurse, put
Do you mind if I peek? she asked Austin back into the Isolette and away
Keri. she went with him to the NICU. They
Austin was snuggled in so tight that were going to try to save him.
Kessler could barely see him. She Keri and Chip looked at each other.
lifted the blanket. Austin sucked on What just happened? Chip asked his
a pacifier. She checked his heartbeat. wife.

March2017 | 69
 He still cant make sense of it.
He has shared the story with
other neonatologists, and
they couldnt come up with a
good explanation for Austins
survival either.
By all rights, he should
not have had developed lung
tissue, Vazquez said. Most
babies do what you expect,
and they tend to get worse
before they get better. This
baby, not only was he breath-
ing on his own for 12 hours,
he was able to make sugar for
himself. He did better with-
out the technology than he
did with it.
In all, Austin spent 100
days in the hospital. His time
was filled with some ups and
downs, just like most of the
Austin continues to be a fighter, says Keri. 400 babies who come through
Weekly therapy keeps him on track with the NICU annually. Like all of
milestones. In this photo from 2013, hes them, hell be prone to physi-
on supplemental oxygen to help his lungs
cal or mental developmental
problems. But his family will
AN IV LINE WAS INSERTED into Aus- worry about them then.
tins umbilical-cord vessels. The NICU On the night before his release from
team tried the oscillator again to help the unit, Keri wrote this on her Face-
him breathe. They settled on a CPAP, book page: As I sit holding my son in
which blows a continuous stream of this NICU room for the last night, I
air into the nostrils. Austin made it worry about the next mum who will
through the morning and then the day. sit in this chair. A mum who this very
Vazquez said hed never been so moment probably has no idea that she
glad to be so wrong. In his 18 years will be sitting in a chair like this I
at Aultman Hospital, the doctor said, pray for her, that her outcome will be
nothing like this had ever happened. as good as ours.
CANTONREP.COM (MARCH 11, 2013) 2013 BY GATEHOUSE OHIO NEWSPAPERS, CANTON, OHIO

70 | March2017
 Quotable Quotes
A LACK OF PLAY Curiosity is the gateway
SHOULD BE TREATED
LIKE MALNUTRITION: to everything you know
ITS A HEALTH RISK TO you want, and comfort is
YOUR BODY AND MIND.
S T UA R T B R OW N ,
like a beautiful prison.
psychiatrist SAR AH J E SSICA PAR K E R , a c t r e s s

We are constantly exhorting people

ROUTINE, IN AN to come out of their shells, but theres
INTELLIGENT MAN, a lot to be said for taking your home
IS A SIGN OF AMBITION. with you wherever you go.
W. H . AU D E N , p o e t S U SA N C AI N , a u t h o r

Its the possibility of having a dream

come true that makes life interesting.
PAU LO CO E LH O, n o v e l i s t

YOU CANNOT BE There is no way to

order chaos. Its the
REALLY FIRST-RATE fundamental theory
AT YOUR WORK IF at the beginning and
end of everything;
YOUR WORK IS ALL its the ultimate law
YOU ARE. of nature.
ALEXANDRA FULLER,
A N N A Q U I N D LE N , a u t h o r author
P HOTOS: GETTY IM AGES

Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry,

stressed or offended. But what youre doing when you indulge
these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself
power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little
things upset you. J O E L OS TE E N , p a s t o r

March2017 | 71
ART OF LIVING

13 Things
You Should
Know About
Anger
Management
BY A N DR E A B E N N E T T

1 Lifes annoyances can affect your

wellbeing if they go unaddressed.
Studies have found that people who
3 When harnessed properly, anger
can be a motivator. Frustration
can drive us to choose a novel path
rate high on tests for anger are at an while problem solving, or to become
increased risk for high blood pressure focused and committed taking up
and heart disease. a new political cause, for example.

2 To process anger in a healthy

way, Todd Kashdan, a psychol-
ogy professor at George Mason Uni-
4 Frustration may also be useful
in negotiations. Anger can sig-
nal that you are done conceding, says
versity in Virginia, recommends that Russell Cropanzano, a professor of
you attempt to understand why you management and entrepreneurship
P HOTO: iSTOCK

feel upset. Without pinpointing why at the University of Colorados Leeds

youre angry, he says, you cant get a School of Business. But watch how you
foot-hold to figure out what your body express it raising your voice during a
is mobilising to do. debate may be helpful, but the same

72 | March2017
tactic could potentially undermine He suggests listening when you feel
collaborative work. agitated in order to curb anger.

5 On that note, vexation has limits.

Kashdan recommends thinking of
anger as a vehicle speedometer, where
10 Keep disagreements from
turning into fights by improv-
ing your communication skills. Avoid
10 km/h is irritation and 100 km/h is cutting others off or using accusatory
blind rage. Speed limits are a measure adverbs such as always and never.
of effectiveness momentary annoy-
ance during a negotiation might be
useful, but rage seldom is. 11 Unhealthy anger the inability
to cool down when upset can
be a symptom of mental health disor-

6 If you use anger as a tool too

often, people will learn to avoid
you. While others may offer small
ders such as depression, says Dr Darin
Dougherty of the Harvard Medical
School. Speak to your doctor if this
amounts of time and effort to keep feels familiar; medication and cogni-
your temper from erupting, youll tive behavioural therapy may help.
miss out on their best contributions.

7 Make anger the last step. If you

get into a disagreement with
12 Cut yourself some slack. Some
forms of anger the fight side
of the fight-or-flight coin is associ-
someone, pause for a moment and ated with fear and is hard-wired into
try to understand that persons point the brain. When you or a loved one
of view, then look for a mutually ben- is in apparent danger, its normal to
eficial solution. Once you become lash out. During these situations, says
angry, Cropanzano points out, your Cropanzano, apologise if necessary
thinking gets too narrow. and forgive yourself for the outburst.

8 To bring anger down a notch or

two, the American Psychological
Association recommends practising
13 After anger runs its course, let
go of it. Cropanzano offers
three steps for decompressing after
deep breathing. Focus on inhaling youve been hurt: make sense of the
and exhaling, and picture your breath wrongdoing by discussing it with a
travelling to your diaphragm. loved one or a therapist; avoid hold-
ing onto resentment or bitterness

9 Create a playlist of your favourite

music to help you relax in diffi-
cult situations. Kashdan says differ-
after youve processed the issue; and,
finally, move forward find humour
in the situation or leave the environ-
ent genres work for different people. ment if its become toxic.

March2017 | 73
NATURE

The Most
Amazing
Trees! They give us life, shade and
endless enjoyment. Where
would we be without our
wonderful trees?
74 | March2017
 Magnificent Adansonia
grandidieri trees, endemic to
Madagascar and reaching
30m in height, line the much-
visited Avenue of the Baobabs
THE MOST AMAZING TREES!

P HOTOS : (PREVI OUS SPREAD) PATRI CK EOCH E; (ADONI S) OLIVER KONTER; (RAINBOW ) M. M. SW E E T;
Clockwise from above: at 1075 years,

(AUTUMN COLOURS) NICK BRUNDLE; (CHERRY BLOSSOMS) ANDRE DISTEL / ALL GETTY IMAGES
this Bosnian pine in northern Greece
named Adonis is likely Europes oldest
tree; a rainbow eucalyptus in Hawaii;
a cherry-tree lined street in Bonn,
Germany; autumn hues in a mixed
forestnear Skanderborg, Denmark
March2017 | 77
78
|
March2017
PHOTO: (JACA RAN DA ) DEN DENAL81 / GETTY I M AGES
 READERS DIGEST

Clockwise from far left: glorious

jacaranda trees in South Africa;
dragon blood trees in Yemen,
named for their vivid red sap;
a Joshua tree in California,
thriving in arid surrounds;
the aptly named Dark Hedges is
a dense avenue of beech trees in
County Antrim, Northern Ireland
(JOSHUA TREE) MICHAEL MARQUAND; (DARK HEDGES)
P HOTOS: (DRAGON BLOOD) RHONDA GUTENBERG;

DAVID SOANES / ALL GETTY IM AGES

 Laughter
THE BEST MEDICINE

SAFETY IN NUMBERS
Four rabbits are out hopping around
a forest, when out of nowhere a gang
of vicious wolves begins to chase
them. The rabbits cower under a thick
bush for refuge.
After the hungry wolves quickly
surround the bush, one rabbit says to
another, OK, should we make a run
for it, or wait until we outnumber Im commander of data security.
them? SUBMITTED BY BENITO F. JUAREZ

THE PLOT THICKENS

COLD COMFORT
Helen goes to a psychiatrist and Fresh out of gift ideas, a man buys
says, Doctor, youve got to do his mother-in-law a large plot in
something about my husband an expensive cemetery. On her next
he thinks hes a refrigerator! birthday he buys her nothing, so she
I wouldnt worry too much tears into him.
about it, the shrink replies. Lots What are you complaining about?
of people have harmless delusions. he fires back. You still havent used

CA RTOON: JIM BERTRAM; ILLUSTRATI ON: iSTOC K

It will pass. the present I gave you last year.
SUBMITTED BY L.B. WEINSTEIN
But, Doctor, you dont
understand, Helen insists.
SPECIOUS
He sleeps
with his I recently visited a friend and found
mouth open, him stalking around with a fly
and the little swatter. When I asked him if he was
light keeps getting any flies, he answered, Yeah,
me awake. three males and two females.
Curious, I asked how he could tell
SUBMITTED BY the difference. He said, Three were
JOHN R. LOPEZ
JNR. on a whisky bottle, and two were on
the phone. Source: dailymail.co.uk

80 | March2017
 LIFE SKILLS

Dont Get

at Scrabble BY LAURA LEE

Learn your Qis and Zos and youll

be ready to take on all comers

YOU HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE THE PLAYERS DICTIONARY IS

in English literature, and you were a SCRABBLE SCRIPTURE There
spelling champion at school. Surely are more than 100,000 words in The
your stellar vocabulary gives you the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary,
advantage in Scrabble. Not necessar- and even more words are allowed in
ily. Scrabble is not so much about the international tournaments. If youre
words a reasonably educated person offended by the concept of arf (the
would use in conversation or writing; sound a dog makes) or hm (as in Im
it is about game words words such thinking) as legal words, then Scrab-
as zax (a hand tool used by a slater for ble is not your game, because ifit is in
cutting), zo (a Tibetan yak), seniti (a The Official Scrabble Players Diction-
monetary unit of Tonga), and ka (to ary, you can play it.
P HOTOS: iSTOCK

the ancient Egyptians, a spiritual part

of a human being or a god that sur- RACK EM UP! Once youve mas-
vived after death and could reside in tered a few of the valuable uncommon
a statue of the dead person). words, it is time to play. Be strategic

March2017 | 81
D O N T G E T T R O U N C E D AT S C R A B B L E

with the letters in your help you line up paral-

rack. The least-valuable Top Mistakes lel plays, where you form
letters in terms of scor- Not knowing two or more words along
ing and playability are all the special two axes. The US National
Q, V, W, B, F, O, and P. Scrabble words Scrabble Association says
Try to get rid of them Lacking a learning the twos will in-
as quickly as you can, good strategy crease your scoring by an
Letting tricky
but hold onto S, E, R, D, average of 30 to 40 points
letters linger
and Y. These are useful a game. Next, you will
as hooks. You can use want to learn the 21 legal
them to turn someones Q words that do not need
twerp into twerps and build a whole a U. Believe it or not, the typewriter
new word with the S. The ideal ratio word qwerty counts, as does qi (life
to maintain is four consonants to energy in Chinese philosophy).
three vowels. The only duplicate let-
ters worth keeping are E and O (O is ADVANCED PLAY Top players
better in pairs than on its own). Look keep track of all of the letters that have
for any letters that form prefixes (like been played using tracking sheets.
pre) or suffixes (such as ed) and set This gives them an idea of what letters
those to one side. are left in the bag and on their oppo-
nents rack. You might also want to
MAKE YOUR QI SHORT The key write down all of the tiles on your rack
to Scrabble triumph is in the two- on each turn so you can see what
letter words. Not only do the twos help words you missed, and improve for
you fit into tight corners, but they also next time.

Scrabble As Sport
The champs make an when one accused his consider the probability
almost full-time job of opponent of stealing a that the symbolswill
memorising tricky and G tile and asked the come together in a
useful words. Players judges to strip-search waythat will allow
atthis level take their him. They did not. them to create high-
game seriously; in 2011, Topplayers are often scoring combinations,
at the World Scrabble computer programmers preferably over
Championships in or mathematicians. thecoveted triple
Poland, two entrants They look at the board word spots.
nearly came to blows and the tiles and

FROM DONT SCREW IT UP! 2013 BY LAURA LEE. PUBLISHED BY READERS DIGEST

82 | March2017
 HEALTH

A bold new treatment for

strokes saves time and lives
BY L ISA FIT TER MAN

MACY MILLS LIES ON A STRE ETCHER in

t e emergency department of Toronto West-
ern Hospital, paralysed, as doctors and nurses
over above her. The 38-year-old tr athlete and
mother of three, who gave birth to herh youngest
child onlyy five months ago
g , knows she has had
a s roke. She remembers a dull headache that
suddenly turned into a dril burrowing
into one spot in her brain, sharp,
hot and insistent. Shee was driving
to her older children ns school to
volunteer at their ssports day.
Overcome byy pain,

For Macy Mills, clot

retrieval was available
just in time

Marrch2017 | 83
U N L O C K I N G P A R A LY S I S

and numb along her left side, instinct her vascular system to the artery that
helped her lurch the car into a park- feeds her brain.
ing space and, after her mobile phone At the opening of the artery, the
dropped to the floor, lean on the horn catheter is retracted and Macy feels
for help. some pressure, as if someone is pinch-
Now, no more than an hour later, ing her brain. Its the stent, which has
a CT scan has shown that, like the opened to envelop and trap the clot
majority of strokes, hers was ischae- within the mesh.
mic: a clot is blocking the arterial flow When is this going to be over? she
of blood to her brain. In her case, it is asks.
a large one on the right side, which is But it already is. Farb gently pulls
why the left side of her body is affected. the stent containing the clot out the
Dr Richard Farb, a neuroradiologist same way it went in. From start to fin-
at Toronto Western Hospital, asks her ish, the entire operation has lasted
husband to sign consent forms for a less than two hours.
procedure that has not yet been tested Try to move, he says.
in Canada. Macy will be the first She lightly flexes the fingers of her
Canadian to undergo it. left hand, which three hours ago could
This groundbreaking procedure not hold on to her mobile phone.
is officially called an endovascular Soon Macy is pumping breast milk
thrombectomy with a stent retriever in the intensive care unit, griping about
a tiny wire mesh tube with an open- the lack of a television set and feeling
ing on one end. It was first tested in very, very lucky.
the Netherlands, while its first trials
in Germany and Switzerland have IT IS JUNE 15, 2011. Three years and
proved promising, too. Its nickname, five months later, the Canadian trial
Mr Clean, reflects its ability to clean of the Mr Clean procedure, which
an artery out in 40 minutes or less. involved 316 patients, ends early
P HOTO (P REVIOUS PAGE): JAS ON GORDON
What choice do I have? Macy thinks. because its clear its already a success.
She tries to nod and say, Do what you Dr Timo Krings, the head of neu-
have to. The words come out muffled, roradiology at Toronto Western Hos-
as if she is speaking under water. pital, explains it this way: Before,
Within minutes of a local anaes- surgical stroke treatment was a
thetic taking effect, she feels Farb gamble. Anything we tried took at
puncturing a tiny hole in the femoral least two hours. Now, on the operat-
artery near her groin. He then uses ing room table, we can see patients
radiographic imaging on a nearby starting to speak again and move
screen to carefully thread a catheter their limbs. And its fast. Weve done
that contains the stent up through one surgery in 14 minutes.

84 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

I dont say this lightly, he contin- But consider the number of stroke
ues. Mr Clean is a game changer. victims left paralysed or unable to
Today clot retrieval is viewed as the speak. Of the estimated 15 million
choice procedure in Australia, New people worldwide who suffer a stroke
Zealand, Singapore, North America each year, about six million die and
and Europe. five million are left permanently dis-
For every five people you treat with abled. The number of deaths from
clot retrieval, one more will go home AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria com-
able to function as an independent bined is about 3.5 million, much less
person, and there is one less person than the stroke death rate.
left severely dependent, says Professor Its no surprise, then, that the man-
Alan Barber, director of the Auckland tra in the stroke universe is Time is
Hospital Stroke Service. Survivors are, brain neuro shorthand to remind
essentially, picking up their lives where specialists that in each minute after
they left off. a stroke occurs, the
The procedure re- brain will lose 1.9 mil-
q u i re s a s p e c i a l i s t lion neurons, 14 bil-
team, and for this rea- Every two lion synapses and 12
son, is not available in seconds kilometres worth of ax-
all hospital emergency someone, onal fibres if they were
depar tments. C lot- strung out in a line.
somewhere, is
retrieval centres are Associate Professor
located in 19 hospitals having a stroke Bruce Campbell, chair
across Australia, in of the Australia-based
Auckland, Wellington St ro k e Fo u n d at i o n
and Christchurch in New Zealand, Clinical Council, stresses that people
while in Singapore there are currently need to recognise the sign of stroke
three dedicated stroke centres. Barber and get to hospital quickly.
says he would like to see more clot- Ever since the drug tPA, or tissue
retrieval centres established in tertiary plasminogen activator, was introduced
hospitals. Its not the sort of thing you in the mid-1990s as a clot-buster, it has
can do in a suburban hospital. been the stroke treatment of choice, al-
beit in a limited number of cases be-
STATISTICS show that every two sec- cause it must be administered within
onds someone, somewhere, is having 3 to 4.5 hours of a stroke occurring and
a stroke. Many may not realise it. They can take hours to work.
may feel dizzy for a few seconds or lose Surgeons have tried other devices
track of what they were saying but then as alternatives or complements any-
they feel better. thing that could open a vessel more

March2017 | 85
U N L O C K I N G P A R A LY S I S

quickly and get rid of the blockage. the blood to flow. It can last minutes,
They looked familiar, too, such as a or hours, or possibly even a day.
chimney sweep brush in miniature or
a tiny butterfly net. WOLFGANG KAHNKE, a retired tool-
It got to the point that at an maker, recalls being cranky as he
international conference seven years drove to his appointment with the
ago, a new catch device was presented surgeon whod replaced his knee
at every lecture in the stroke session, two years earlier. For the 72-year-old
says Krings. At the end, I said, If any grandfather of two, it was a check-up,
of you were right, wed have only one. nothing more, and he arrived early,
At around that same time, Ger- hoping he could somehow be fitted
man neuroradiologist Professor Hans in. After all, he had a dinner date with
Henkes was working on a patient who his wife, Karin, that night.
had had a stroke that left a clot in her As he waited for the surgeon in the
middle cerebral artery. He decided to examination room, he felt something
use a device hed co-developed for the humming in his head, not painful, ex-
stent-assisted coil treatment of an an- actly, but uncomfortable.
eurysm. When he pulled out the stent Walk it off, he told himself.
that was keeping the artery open as he But he couldnt move.
operated, the clot came with it, intact.
At a conference soon after, Henkes
mentioned it to some colleagues, who SIGNS OF STROKE
agreed it was promising. So began tri- MAY INCLUDE
als in Europe, with Dr Vitor Mendes
Pereira, then the head of interven- Sudden weakness and/or
tional radiology at the University of numbness of the face, arm or leg,
Geneva, as one of the principal inves- especially on one side of the body
tigators. They learned they needed a Sudden confusion or trouble
vessel that was at least two millime- speaking and understanding
tres wide within which to work and Sudden vision problems
that it was not effective on haemor-
Sudden severe or unusual
rhagic strokes, or bleeders. headaches
And while they initially thought they
had a short window of time to clean a Sudden dizziness, loss of balance
or coordination, or trouble walking
vessel out, they have since learned that
each case depends on the quality and Sudden droopiness in the face
duration of the collaterals, where the If you have any of these signs, call
brain temporarily compensates for a emergency services right away.
blocked vessel by finding a detour for

86 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

When an emergenc y CT scan FOR MACY MILLS, now a private

showed a large clot blocking the main banker with an international finan-
artery right at the back of his neck, cial services company, the only visible
Kahnke was taken to the operating reminders of her stroke are the three
room within the hour. pills she takes every evening: a beta
The next day, he took a shower un- blocker, an ACE inhibitor and a blood
aided. As the water sluiced over him, thinner. These medications were pre-
he thought, Ive never scribed when tests re-
felt so alive. Then he vealed that the apex of
shivered at how close her heart is composed
hed come. When he of scar tissue where
Mr Clean, his doc- pulled out the blood can pool, which
tors said, was the dif- increases the risk of
ference between him
stent, the clot clots forming.
dying or ending up be- came with it Mills also now has an
ing paralysed from the intact internal defibrillator,
neck down for the rest the result of having suf-
of his life. For Kahnke, fered a cardiac arrest in
it meant being able to play Santa May 2015. Slim, fit and driven, the for-
Claus at Christmas for the children of mer triathlete chafes at not being able
employees at his former company. to run a seven-minute mile any more.
I make a pretty good Santa, he says, But she is grateful that, thanks to Mr
pointing to his cloud of white hair and Clean, shes able to be there for her
his beard. Only, Im not so big! family.

NOT FITTING IN

My fitness goal: I would like to stop looking like Im

wearing a bulletproof vest all the time. PATTON OSWALT

Just walked up a flight of stairs, and my Fitbit emailed

me to report itself stolen. @THECATWHISPRER (MARK)

My favourite thing to do at the gym is leave. @LISAGOODWIN1

I do five sit-ups every day. It doesnt sound like much, but theres
only so many times you can hit the alarm snooze button.

The only exercise I get is jumping to conclusions. @FITNESSHUMOUR

March2017 | 87
 The
Other
BY JANIE ALLEN
Theres much
more to Hawaiis
capital city than
its famous beach
 TRAVEL

This page: Waikiki Beach,

known for its gentle surf
Opposite: Aloha Tower, a
city landmark since 1926
PHOTOS: GETTY I MAGES
T H E OT H E R H O N O LU LU

D
owntown Honolulu is a But as delightful as Waikiki is, its
glut of high-rises, their just one district of Honolulu. Id read
balconies and picture articles lauding the city for its multi-
windows competing for a cultural diversity, innovative new res-
view of the huge harbour taurants, emerging neighbourhoods,
glorious on this warm, sunny Feb- and live-and-let-live vibe. Honolulu
ruary day. Fishing boats, freighters, appears on lists of top US cities.
cruise ships and tugboats wait at nu- Clearly, there is more to this place
merous piers. Flights are coming and than its famous beach resort. Glen
going at the airport to the west. Im and I want to know more. So, for a
reminded of Hong Kong, a workaday week, we put away our beach towels
city going about its business. Yet, one and swimming costumes, turn our

PHOTOS, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: JANI E ALLEN ; SUSAN SEUBERT; JANIE AL L E N; SU SAN SE U BE RT
of the worlds most famous beaches is backs on the beach, and head off.
just a 15-minute drive away.
My husband, Glen, and I are on WED HE ARD THE BUZ Z about the
the tenth-floor observation deck of up-and-coming Kakaako (ka-ka-
the Aloha Tower, located on Pier 9 in ah-ko) district between Waikiki and
Honolulu Harbor. The tower, built in a downtown. The city is redeveloping
style known as Hawaiian Gothic, was this light-industrial area, and has set
once the tallest building in Honolulu; aside some warehouses and garages
the large A-L-O-H-A letters at the top for the arts and for entrepreneurs. We
greeted visitors arriving by steamship drive there early one morning.
in an earlier era. The family-owned Highway Inn,
Nowadays, the Aloha Tower is known for its traditional Hawaiian
eclipsed by downtown skyscrapers food, isnt yet open for breakfast so we
but still offers incredible 360-degree take a walk in the quiet back streets.
views of city and harbour. On Coral Street, we pass Hanks
John and Evelyn Fisher of Honolulu Haute Dogs, a little eatery that ele-
are also on the deck, pointing out city vates the humble hotdog to gourmet
landmarks to a visiting friend. We join status. On and around Auahi Street,
them in looking out at the Capitol Dis- we marvel at dozens of large, extrava-
trict, Chinatown, Punchbowl Crater, gant murals painted on warehouses.
Pearl Harbor and Waikiki. Amazing, isnt it? says a bicyclist
We love Waikiki. The iconic cres- who stops to admire a chiaroscuro
cent beach, framed by Diamond Head of a face covering a wall, created by
promontory and lined with myriad chipping bits of concrete from white
shops, restaurants and nightclubs, is masonry.
the go-to resort for more than four Further along, we come across
million visitors a year. Na Mea Hawaii (Things of Place),

90 | March2017
Clockwise from top left: An artist at work at Na Mea Hawaii; a wall mural in Kakaako
district; a bronze of Kamehameha the Great, Hawaiian conqueror and king, at Iolani
Palace; Paiko, a botanical boutique on Auahi Street

a bookshop, gallery and art studios a seascape; upstairs, another is plan-

set up in a converted garage. Its a ning a new exhibition.
beehive of activity. Maile Meyer, a Next door, artist Bill Reardon is
slight, energetic woman in her late welding a stair rail. He removes his
50s, shows us around. She created helmet to reveal startlingly blue eyes
the venue to encourage art with a and a big smile. He likes to create
native aesthetic and perspective, she found metal sculpture, he says.
tells us. An artist is mixing paint for Have you ever noticed how many

March2017 | 91
T H E OT H E R H O N O LU LU

discarded bedframes there are? We

hadnt until then
Back at the now-open Highway Inn,
painted wood panels and exposed
pipes create a bright urban vibe. We sit
at the counter and order poi (taro) pan-
cakes topped with a haupia (coconut)
sauce and chat with front-of-house
manager Christina Martin, 47. She
recently moved to Honolulu from the
mainland. There are trade-offs to living
here, like high rent, she says, but the
people make up for a lot.
Hawaiianss hospitality is linked
to ohana their sense of family, she
explains. Ohana extends to friends. Leis adorn the bronze statue of surfing
Once they take you in, youre part of legend Duke Kahanamoku at Kuhio Beach
the family.
director of Visitor Experience and
P E R H A P S H E R E , more than else- Planetarium.
where, the more family you have The Bishop is housed in an im-
real or not the better. The Hawaiian mense stone Victorian building in the
archipelago of eight main islands is citys northern suburbs. The Pacific
one of the most remote and isolated Hall features the Polynesian migra-
places on earth; almost 4000 kilo- tions. The core of the museum, how-
metres from California. ever, is the Hawaiian Hall. Its three
Even other South Pacific Islands polished-wood floors display ancient
are distant. For a long time, no-one artefacts of Native Hawaiian culture.
could understand how, over a thou- When I ask Shanahan about the
sand years ago, Hawaiis first settlers most precious item in the museum,
crossed more than 4000 kilometres he excitedly tells me that for many
of ocean without navigation equip- years it was the feather cloak of Kame-
PHOTO: S USA N SEUBERT

ment. Their methods of navigating by hameha the Great, Hawaiis first king,
the stars and patterns of nature were who united the islands in 1810. But
not well understood until the 1970s. now, he adds, the museum is in the
The Bishop Museum planetarium in process of receiving from Te Papa
Honolulu played a role in recovering Museum in New Zealand the feather
the lost art of Pacific navigation, called cloak of King Kalaniopuu, Kame-
way-finding, says Mike Shanahan, hamehas uncle, who presented it to

92 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

British explorer Captain James Cook The kingdom was overthrown just
in 1779. It has been missing from 11 years later in a plot by sugar plan-
Hawaii for more than 200 years, he tation owners to bring the islands
says. Its very special. under US control.
Culture educator Iasona Ellinwood Nearby is the Hawaiian Mission
takes me to see Kamahamehas Houses Historic Site, set in lovely shady
full-length cloak, on display in a grounds where we linger a while. The
glass case. The yellow feathers were oldest house, from 1821, is a two-storey
plucked from some 60,000 mamo frame house shipped from Boston in
birds. The extinct mamo was mostly 1820, which displays artefacts of mis-
black. It had just six to eight yellow sionary life. The first missionaries cre-
feathers, he says. ated a 12-letter Hawaiian alphabet and
An expert guide to Hawaiis history printed a Bible on a hand-operated
and native culture, Ellinwood has a press replicas are on display.
masters degree in Hawaiian language. Next, we decide to follow the rec-
Are you native Hawaiian? I ask. No, ommendations of Mark Noguchi, a
he says. His birth name is Jason. One local chef we meet, and visit China-
of my Hawaiian language teachers town, a gritty downtown district that
called me Iasona and it stuck. is reinventing itself as a destination
Close to ten per cent of Hawaiis for art-lovers, foodies and club-goers.
1.4 million people claim Native Ha- We drive there late one weekday.
waiian heritage, while Asians make Chinatown grew up in the late
up 37 per cent and Caucasians 27 nineteenth century to serve Chinese
per cent. In fact, many people (23 per plantation workers. Decades later it
cent) are of mixed ethnicity, like the became known for prostitution and
shopkeeper I met earlier who told the drug trade. For a few years in the
me his father was Japanese and his 1990s, a Chinatown revival flourished,
mother Filipina, then added, but associated with a new generation of
were all Hawaiians. chefs who developed Hawaiian Re-
Live here long enough and well gional Cuisine, also called Asian
call you Hawaiian, too, said another Fusion. Today Chinatown is gentrify-
local. ing. Art galleries, high-end restaurants
and bars are starting to move in.
THE DOWNTOWN Capitol District is There are still places I wouldnt
pleasantly walkable, with tree-lined walk late at night, but things are
streets and small parks. The state changing, Noguchi had told us.
executive offices are here, as well as Lucky Belly restaurant, located on
the Iolani Palace, built in 1882 by the Hotel Street, which was once famous
last king of Hawaii, David Kalakaua. for its brothels, is one of the most

March2017 | 93
T H E OT H E R H O N O LU LU

popular new eateries. We get there up on the block at the Honolulu Fish
just as it opens for dinner and are Auction the next morning. Tours
seated near the large windows. Wood, are offered a few times a month. We
exposed brick, mahogany-stained leave Waikiki at 5.30am and within
cement floor and Japanese pop art on 20 minutes are standing outside a
the walls lend the room a cool, con- refrigerated warehouse on Pier 38.
temporary ambience. Brooks Takenaka, general manager
We order the intensely flavourful of United Fishing Agency, which runs
oxtail dumplings and the Belly Bowl. the auction, leads us in. Big-eye tuna,
The ramen-noodle speciality arrives mahimahi, swordfish, snapper, many
in a king-sized dish with generous weighing well over 45 kilograms, wait
portions of pork belly, bacon and sau- on iced-down pallets.
sage steeping in a rich broth. Wholesale buyers huddle around
We leave the restaurant at dusk. the auctioneer, who fires off numbers
Darkness comes quickly at this lati- as bidding starts on a tuna at his feet.
tude. With the old markets and shops Seconds later its over. The auctioneer
shuttered and our footsteps echoing jots a note and drops it on the fish,
on the near-empty sidewalks, we head and the group shuffles to the next one.
back to our hotel. Up to 45,000 kilograms of open-
ocean fish are sold this way six days a
O N O U R S E C O N D - L A S T afternoon week. Its the only fresh tuna auction
in Honolulu, we return to Kakaako to of its kind in the US, Takenaka says.
stroll the Kewalo Basin wharf. We chat Most fish sold here is consumed in the
with a man at a counter selling tickets islands, he says, adding that Hawaiis
for deep-sea fishing trips. fishery operates within sustainable
Weve got a boat coming in with a limits and under stringent regulation.
180-kilogram marlin, he tells us. We Do you eat much fish? I ask him.
watch two sea turtles chasing each Almost every day, he replies.
other in the water as he banters with On our last afternoon the trade wind
a nearby boat owner. Wait and see, that had been with us all week disap-
itll weigh in at 110. pears and temperatures rise. Seek-
Maybe 130, comes the reply. ing respite, we head to Punchbowl
When the boat docks, the crew se- Crater, on the citys outskirts, site of the
PHOTO: JA NIE ALLEN

cures a chain around the marlins tail National Memorial Cemetery of the
and hauls up an astonishingly large Pacific. We drive down to a shady
fish at least three metres long. On the lane in a vast lawn, where flat mark-
scale, it weighs in at a whopping 184 ers denote graves. The city sounds
kilograms. have disappeared and were enjoy-
The marlin may well have ended ing the peace and quiet; we hear only

94 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

Brooks Takenaka presides over the only

fresh fish auction in the US

Lilting melodies, swaying hips and the

performers joy charm us.
The sun is setting in an orange-
streaked sky, silhouetting a bronze
statue of Duke Kahanamoku. An
Olympic gold-medallist swimmer in
1912 and 1920, he introduced surfing
to much of the world, and is a Hawai-
ian hero. In his later years he died
in 1968 Duke was Honolulus first
Ambassador of Aloha. Aloha means
love, a plaque about him says, the
key word to the universal spirit of real
hospitality.
Come, get to know my city, he
may as well be saying, his back to
the ocean and his arms outstretched
birdsong and distant mowers. After a to encompass all of Honolulu. In a
stop at a viewing platform on the crater recent article, a writer opined that
rim that overlooks the city, we make it the city consider turning Dukes statue
back to Waikiki by sunset. around so that he looks out at his
At Kuhio Beach Park, we join the beloved ocean.
throng gathered for a hula show. I think hes just fine where he is.

TECH SUPPORT?

Great, iTunes terms and conditions have changed,

and my lawyer is on vacation.
Just perfect.
@TYLERSCHMALL

When the inventor of the USB stick dies, theyll gently

lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way,
then lower it again.
@CLUEDONT

March2017 | 95
 Thats Outrageous!
ON THE ROAD

SMASH HIT were understandably

Some new drivers perturbed by
pass their road the atypical
tests with flying transportation
colours. Others method the
fail with flying vehicles were
glass. One unlicensed,
morning in unregistered and
October 2016 unsafe. On the
in the US city plus side, they
of Bellevue, Washington, a young handled well: despite the primitive
woman was headed to her final in-car steering mechanisms, the puttering
examination. furniture manoeuvred through a busy
When she got to the driving school, city intersection with ease.
she attempted to park. Unfortunately,
she missed the brake pedal, MAN VERSUS MACHINE

BY GRA EME BAY LISS; I LLUSTRATI ON: PI ERRE LORAN GER

accidentally slamming on the In November 2015, police in
accelerator instead. The vehicle California pulled over a car for moving
careened through the front of the too slowly: more than 15 kilometres
building, smashing its plate-glass an hour below the speed limit. But
facade and the rear window of the when the cop strolled up to the door,
womans Audi, too. Thankfully, there he found there was no-one inside to
were no injuries except to the reprimand the vehicle turned out to
students pride. be a self-driving Google prototype.
The much-publicised incident
JOYRIDE became a boon for the tech giants
Some young men in Perth, Western marketing department. Call it another
Australia, gave new meaning to the innovation of our high-tech age: there
phrase out to lunch when they were is now literal truth to the saying, The
spotted cruising the streets on a pair engines running, but nobodys
of motorised picnic tables. Police behind the wheel.

96 | March2017
 SOCIETY

The
End of
Parking
Could ride-sharing
and robocars
make our cities
greener and our
lives less chaotic?
BY C L I V E T H O M P S O N
FR OM M OTHER J O N E S

ILLUSTRATION BY
RAYMOND BIESINGER

IF YOU DRIVE OUT to West Ed-

monton Mall, in Canada, youll
arrive at the worlds biggest car
park. With room for 20,000 vehi-
cles thats at least 300,000 square
metres and another 10,000 in
overflow parking, the area is
comparable to the size of 84
American football fields (in-
cluding the end zones).
That mall and its Guin-
ness World Record-holding
car park isnt alone in its

March2017 | 97
T H E E N D O F PA R K I N G

expansive approach. Parking is, after picking people up and dropping them
all, most of what cars do: the aver- off with robotic efficiency. That could
age automobile spends 95 per cent result in many choosing not to own
of its time sitting in place. A 2010 cars, causing the amount of parking
study from the University of Califor- needed to drop as well.
nia, Berkeley, found that the US has Gabe Klein, who has headed the
between 105 million and 2 billion transportation departments in Chi-
parking spots, for roughly 300 million cago and Washington, D.C., sees
vehicles. enormous potential. All that parking
The metastasising of parking has could go away, and then what hap-
had profound effects. On an aesthetic pens? he asks. Klein imagines much
level, it makes cities grimly ugly. Its of this paved-over space suddenly
expensive to build. And the emissions being freed up for houses, schools,
it causes may be worst of all. playgrounds just about anything.
When Donald Shoup, an urban-
planning professor at the University of NORTH AMERICAS OBSESSION with
California, Los Angeles, looked at West- parking began in the 1940s and 50s,
wood Village, a small neighbourhood when car use exploded. Panicked
near his university, he calculated that cities realised they would soon run out
cars circling around in search of open of kerb space. In an effort to ward off
spaces burn 178,000 litres of petrol and that possibility, they passed minimum
generate 662 tonnes of carbon dioxide parking requirements: if a developer
a year. Those numbers, Shoup says, are wanted to erect an office or apartment
reflective of the situation in most cities building, it also had to build parking.
congested cores. Decades of perverse incentives
But for the first time, urban experts served to cement the car as North
see an end in sight. We are, they say, Americas main mode of transporta-
on the cusp of an era when cities tion. According to the 2011 National
can begin dramatically reducing the Household Survey, roughly 15.4 mil-
number of parking spaces they offer. lion Canadians travel to work, and
Why? For starters, more and more four out of every five do so in a private
people are opting to live in city centres, vehicle. Based on these statistics, about
where they dont need or want to 11.4 million workers drive to their jobs
own a car. Were also seeing the rapid in cars, bringing along an additional
emergence of self-driving technology, 867,100 passengers.
which could have huge benefits for Numbers like these make parking
urban design and the environment. seem like an intractable problem. But
After all, if cars can drive themselves, something strange is happening to
fleets of them could scurry around our relationship with cars.

98 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

The cars dominance is on the accelerate because millennials are

wane, says Jeff Kenworthy, a pro- turning away from the car. Research
fessor of sustainable cities at Curtin by Frontier Group, a think tank that
University in Perth. He found that car publishes work on transportation,
use grew by 42 per cent globally in the found that the average annual dis-
60s. In the 80s, it increased by tance driven by American 16- to
23 per cent. From 1995 to 2005, 34-year-olds dropped 23 per
it went up by only 5 per cent. cent between 2001 and 2009.
While fuel costs and the Theyre also buying fewer
growth of public transport vehicles than their parents
have something to do with did, which worries carmak-
this pattern, Kenworthy ers. We have to face the
suspects its also related growing reality that today,
to a concept known as young people dont seem
Marchettis wall. In 1994, Something to be as interested in cars
Italian physicist Cesare strange is as previous generations,
Marchetti noted that happening to said Jim Lentz, the CEO
throughout history, most our relationship of Toyota Motor North
people disliked commut- with cars. America, in a 2011 speech.
ing more than one hour
The cars
for work. If youre faced MILLENNIALS have em-
with a longer commute,
dominance is braced one mobility trend,
you rearrange your life: on the wane however. In December
find a new job or move 2014, the on-demand car
closer to the office. service Uber reported that
In the mid-1990s to mid-2000s, its drivers were making one million
public transport use increased and trips per day. According to a survey by
cities became denser, in part because market research firm GlobalWebIndex,
younger adults werent leaving for the 70 per cent of Ubers U.S. customers
suburbs and seniors were moving back are under the age of 35.
to walkable urban cores. As a global Uber is seeing especially rapid
society, we slammed into Marchettis growth in its ride-sharing offering,
wall and backed away. UberPool, which matches travellers
This shift isnt necessarily set in heading to roughly the same destin-
stone. While the number of vehicle ation. The company introduced the
kilometres travelled per capita in the service in San Francisco in August
US began declining in 2005, it started 2014, and already nearly 50 per cent
to rise again in 2014. However, ex- of all Uber rides in the city are pooled.
perts argue that the trend will likely Carpooling has been touted for

March2017 | 99
T H E E N D O F PA R K I N G

decades as a way to use vehicles Many urban experts believe the

more efficiently, but it never took future of autonomous cars is in fleet
off because of an information prob- deployment, not private ownership.
lem: there was no way to coordinate At the University of Texas at Austin,
rides on the fly. The smartphone has Kara Kockelman, a professor of trans-
solved that conundrum. And when portation engineering, found that a
Massachusetts Institute of single shared autonomous ve-
Technology scientists hicle could typically replace
crunched data on an average of ten privately
Boston-area commuting owned ones. At night, when
patterns, they found that if there was less demand, they
50 per cent of drivers shifted could drive to a designated
to ride sharing, it would storage area thats close
reduce congestion by 37 to where the next trip
per cent and result in 19
per cent fewer vehicles
My generation will likely originate. The
upshot, Kockelman fig-
on the road. was the last to ures, is that if you were to
San Franciscobased believe owning shift the entire city over, it
parking consultant Jef- a car would would need a staggering
frey Tumlin, 47, is struck bring freedom, 87.5 per cent less parking
by the shift in the zeit- autonomy, than it does today.
geist. My generation social status, sex That community would
was the last to believe also likely have a dramati-
that owning our own car cally lower environmental
would bring us freedom, autonomy, footprint, not only because youd get
social status, sex, he says. For todays rid of the circling that plagues urban
young people, the mobile phone is a traffic but because high-tech cars
much more potent technology. would be new and, given that theyll
probably emerge en masse about ten
AS THE GOOGLE SELF-DRIVING car years from now, electric. A quantitative
pulled out into a busy intersection, the traffic analysis published in Nature Cli-
steering wheel turned by itself. It was mate Change in July 2015, co-authored
an unnerving sight, though the Google by Berkeley Lab scientist Jeffrey Green-
engineers riding inside were quite blatt, deduced that emissions would be
blas: after 2.4 million kilometres, these 90 per cent lower if cars were autono-
vehicles have been in very few acci- mous, electric and shared.
dents. The guidance system is very This road has some speed bumps
cautious, says the engineer in the ahead. Most projections assume that
drivers seat, hands folded in his lap. ride-sharing firms will be the ones

100 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

to deploy self-driving cars on a large invites owners of homes and busi-

scale. But what if theyre all privately nesses to apply to install a green
owned? If you can read, watch TV, space in the parking lane in front of
work and email while your car drives their properties. The plan has since
itself, the sting goes out of commuting. been emulated in locations such as
That could prompt commutes of London, with a similar project cur-
previously unfathomable lengths. Or rently under development in Toronto.
we might find people deciding they In San Franciscos Mission District,
never need to park because cars can for example, two kerbside spots were
circle on their own. Cruising could completely overhauled. Built out of
morph into a Monty Pythonesque huge, curved pieces of wood, one
parody of modern life: a street clogged looks like a ship beached on the side
with traffic, but all the cars are empty. of the road. In the other, thick desert
Opinions are divided about how vegetation some clipped to resem-
serious these negative impacts could ble a triceratops spills out in front
be. Many suspect Marchettis wall will of a private residence.
remain in place. Most people are not There are now more than 50 par-
going to sit in a car for hours a day, klets throughout San Francisco. These
says Greenblatt. Others agree, noting strips provide a vision of how a city
that the generational reluctance to own could evolve: imagine if 90 per cent of
a personal car isnt likely to fade. all kerbside parking spots were turned
into strips of public parks, filled with
SAN FRANCISCO COULD BE giving greenery, urban gardening and people
us a preview of what a lower-parking relaxing. With fewer cars circling the
future would look like. The citys par- streets, the future of urban living
klet programme, founded in 2010, could be oddly peaceful.

MOTHER JONES (JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2016) 2016 BY CLIVE THOMPSON. MOTHERJONES.COM

FAMOUS PEOPLE FIRED

In 1919, Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because
he lacked imagination and didnt have any good ideas.

Madonna dropped out of college and took a job at Dunkin

Donuts in New York, which apparently didnt last a day.
What sealed the deal was when she squirted a jam filling
all over a customer. THOUGHTCATALOG.COM

March2017 | 101
BONUS READ

FOR MANY, completing the Kokoda

Track in Papua New Guineas rugged
Stanley Owen Range is a way of
recognising the hardships and
sacrifices of the soldiers who fought
there in World War II.

JOURNEY THROUGH

KOKODA Kokoda is a difficult trek, both

physically and emotionally, and
those who complete the
96-kilometre walk speak of
being changed forever.
For Simon Bouda, walking the
P HOTO: AUSTRALI AN WAR M EMORI AL

Kokoda Track meant many things,

but above all, it meant fulfilling
a promise to a friend

Right: Australian soldiers and

Papua New Guineans display
a Japanese sword, Kokoda,
September 19, 1942

102 | March2017
J O U R N E Y T H R O U G H KO KO DA

I WANT TO DO KOKODA before hand shook uncontrollably as he was

I cant do it, my mate Ross trying to hold his swords scabbard.
At first he tried to ignore it but soon
Beno Benson explained to me the symptoms became too onerous to
on the telephone one night in disregard. I remember the day he rang
November 2015. to tell me he had been diagnosed. He
Battling Parkinsons disease was shattered.
It ended his flying career but he was
for the past five years, Beno determined not to let Parkinsons slow
knows that one day he simply him down. In fact, I think it spurred
may not be able to. him on to push himself to the limit.
Sure Im in, I replied. He had never done things by half
before. Now it meant that he had to
Id met Beno while covering a plane try just a little harder.
crash in Papua New Guinea in 2009
for Nine News Australia. Nine Austral-

T
o walk the Kokoda Track is a rite
ians, who were on their way to the of passage, especially for infan-
Kokoda Track, had been killed when trymen. In 2015 alone, 3581
their Twin Otter crashed as it was ap- people travelled to Papua New Guinea
proaching the Kokoda airstrip. Beno to pay homage to this extraordinary
was a Royal Australian Air Force pilot World War II battlefield. For Beno, it
and was assisting in the recovery also meant showing himself and the
mission. world that Parkinsons would not stop
Beno was one of Australias best him enjoying an active life and facing
military pilots. As a squadron leader physical challenges.
with 38 Squadron, it meant that he For me, too, returning to Papua
often piloted the prime ministers New Guinea would mean confront-
aircraft. But, out of uniform, he was ing some personal demons. Both my
a loving husband and father of three grandfather and my father died there.
with a passion for fast cars, adventure My grandfather, George Heads, was
P HOTO: M ICHA EL BURGESS-ORTON

and laughs. Flying was his life. His a pilot who was killed during WWII
shock and heartache were profound in a plane crash near Milne Bay. My
when he learned he was suffering father died from a heart attack while
from Parkinsons. managing a hotel in Mount Hagen
It began with a tremor in his hand. in 1976.
Hed never forget that day. Beno was After Id finished covering the plane
the Parade Commander for the Free- crash story in 2009, Id set off to find
dom of Entry to the City parade in the graves of both men. My grand-
Townsville on June 4, 2011. His left fathers had been relatively easy to

104 | March2017
Nine men, nine days and 96 kilometres of some of the toughest terrain Papua New
Guinea has to offer. Ross Beno Benson is on the extreme left

locate; he was buried at the Bomana So now my son, Max, and I were
War Cemetery on the outskirts of Port planning to tackle the arduous and
Moresby. But finding my fathers grave treacherous Kokoda Track. We, too,
had proved much more difficult. would be flying in a Twin Otter in the
I knew he was buried in Mount Kokoda Valley. It also wasnt lost on
Hagen in the Highlands but exactly me that two previous generations of
where was a mystery. That was until a men in my family had died in Papua
local, Solomon Wokolon, manager of New Guinea and now two more were
the Avis car rentals in Mount Hagen, heading there. Max would celebrate
offered to help. After a days search- his twenty-first birthday on the track.
ing, Solomons enquiries lead me to a
man named Roy Kumbi. It turned out

I
n the end, Beno convinced eight
that Roy had worked with my father mates to join him on the adven-
and cradled him in his arms as he ture. There were his RAAF mates,
died. Roy had buried my dad, and it Tony Thorpie Thorpe, Mike BO
was he who, some 33 years later, led Burgess-Orton, Justin JD Dickie and
me to the gravesite, where I was able Richard Penners Penman. Theyd
to pay my respects. flown together, studied together and

March2017 | 105
J O U R N E Y T H R O U G H KO KO DA

lived together for them, supporting trainee guide, Craig Thomson, a big,
a mate to tick the Kokoda Track off his burly, no-nonsense New Zealander
bucket list was a natural thing to do. who was also a former infantry soldier
Then there was Benos best man, who had served in Afghanistan.
Tony Timor Moore. Over the years, This is as much mental as it is
rearing families, geography and busy physical, Cameron warned us. The
lifestyles had meant they had drifted tears will flow.
apart. But, like me, Tony jumped at I confess in my case those tears
the opportunity to take part in the flowed freely and often. Thoughts of
stroll in the jungle. my father and grand-
Tony was joined by father were never far
his 25-year-old son, The tears owed away. And that I was
former Australian infan- undertaking this trek
tryman Brodie Tulip
freely and often. with my son.
Moore, who had served Thoughts of my
o n M e n t o r i n g Ta s k father and
A
s we filed under
Force 1 in Afghanistan. grandfather the famous
He had been a pageboy arches at Owers
at Benos wedding.
were never far Corner marking the
And then there were away. And I was start of the southern
Max and I. On the track with my son end of the track, we
Max earned the nick- realised there was no
name Donuts, while going back. We were all
my childhood nickname of Bouds nervous, with thoughts of our own
sufficed. families and comrades who had ex-
Basically, we were a bunch of stran- perienced the track.
gers brought together by the linchpin, But underlying that, I suspect, was
Beno. From the moment we met it that we were also nervous about Beno.
was as if we had been lifelong mates. Hed been gradually deteriorating
We soon began referring to ourselves over the last couple of years. He still
P HOTO: M ICHA EL BURGESS-ORTON

as members of the 1st RBR the First had more good days than bad but
Royal Benson Regiment. everyone was worried about how he
We were to be accompanied by would manage the track.
a team from the trekking company My local porter was, co-inciden-
Kokoda Spirit. Our Australian guide tally, named Max. While on my feet I
and former soldier, Cameron James, sported $400 Salomon boots, he wore
had encyclopaedic military knowl- a pair of rubber thongs. I was soon to
edge. Hed walked the track ten times
before. Accompanying him was a Beno setting a cracking pace on the track

106 | March2017
March2017 | 107
learn that this wiry little man had the Camerons dulcet tones of: GOOD
strength of an ox as he dragged me MORNING EVERYBODY!to be heard
back from tumbling down steep in- bellowing from his tent.
P HOTO: M ICHA EL BURGESS-ORTON

clines when I lost my footing. We learnt the importance of happy

Over the next nine days he walked feet. We developed a ritual each
the 96 kilometres with me, including morning of taping just about every
6000 vertical metres, over some of centimetre of them for protection.
the most rugged terrain Papua New Then, after a quick breakfast of Weet-
Guinea has to offer. bix, honey and boiled water or por-
Our group soon slipped into a ridge, it was back on the track for
routine. another eight hours. Every day, eight
Each day began bang on 5am with hours of just walking or climbing or

108 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

A sombre moment a night spent reading

about past and present soldiers who have
given their lives

all heroes of the Kokoda campaign.

We were also handed the details of
soldiers who had died in recent con-
flicts in Afghanistan and Iraq. Wed met
some of the families, some of us had
known them personally.
These fallen soldiers were never
far from our minds as we slogged up
endless inclines, then slithered down
muddy and slippery descents. Tor-
rential downpours, rickety wooden
bridges, perilous crossings of rivers
and rocky creeks: the track is every bit
as arduous as the history books and
guides warned us.
Still, we couldnt help but be over-
come by the raw beauty of this place.
The lush greens of the jungle, the
towering trees filtering the harsh sun-
light. From the ancient rainforest to
the fast-flowing rivers, it seemed that
everywhere you turned was another
vista, another battle site.
sliding or falling. Eight hours it gives Strangely, we saw little wildlife,
you plenty of time to just think. apart from soil turned over by wild
boars. I expected the trees to be filled
with birdlife, but it was eerily quiet

A
t the start of the trek, Cameron
had handed out small laminated in the canopy above us. At just over
cards. On each was the photo 2100 metres above sea level, there are
and details of a soldier who had died. few mosquitos, and only occasionally
There were brothers Harold Butch would one play host to a leech.
and Stan Bissett, Bruce Kingsbury, As we walked through small villages
John Metson, Sam Templeton, Charlie wed occasionally stop for morning
McCallum, William Owen, Claude Nye, tea. The locals would be there selling
Breton Langridge and Henry Lambert cans of Coke and packets of Twisties

March2017 | 109
 J O U R N E Y T H R O U G H KO KO DA

vital nutrition for any serious trekker. hundred Australians temporarily

We knew we were doing it in rela- held back the Japanese forces, which
tive luxury with tents and warm sleep- had been advancing towards Port
ing bags not the conditions faced by Moresby.
the soldiers who fought for every inch As we approached the summit, we
of this track in horrendous and humid could see a mass of wooden stakes
conditions. topped with a red ribbon some with
Cameron talked about the 39th a poppy commemorating diggers
Battalion a group of mostly 18 and [ANZAC soldiers] who had died here.
19 year olds who had been called up Tears again welled in my eyes. After
for national service in 1941. It was a the three-and-a-half-hour climb up
militia unit: farmers with guns. The Hill, exhaustion and emotion
Initially the 39th was used for gar- intertwined. It was here at Brigade
rison duties and working parties in Hill that those young men had gone
and around Port Moresby. But in June into action knowing they were going
1942 it was sent to the Kokoda Track to die. We were broken physically, and
to block the Japanese, who were ad- pushed mentally to a place we had not
vancing towards Port Moresby. been before.
What followed was a series of bat- Solemnly we held a memorial ser-
tles that ebbed and flowed across the vice. Poems were read, heroes re-
Kokoda Track. Eventually the Japa- membered. The last post was played.
nese were repelled back to the north. Then we were astounded as our por-
But the price of victory was great. ters gathered to sing their national
Here we were walking in these boys anthem. In return we stood to atten-
footsteps. tion and in faltering voices gave a ren-
Next we tackled Brigade Hill, where dition of Advance Australia Fair.
the three-day Battle of Mission Ridge The next day, Beno hit his own wall.
Brigade Hill was fought between Day 5 was a particularly tough day.
September 6 and 9, 1942. Fourteen Beno started slowly and it was clear

The Kokoda Track

Mount
Owers Brigade Hill
Bellamy Port Moresby
Corner 1415 m
2190 m
685 m

To Port Kokoda Kokoda

Moresby Gap 350 m
19km

OWERS CORNER TO KOKODA - 60 km (STRAIGHT LINE) - 96 km WALKING DISTANCE

110 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

to all he was struggling. But this was But there were highs, too. The cooks
a man with a stubborn determina- whipped up tremendous meals, seem-
tion. The track was not going to beat ingly out of nothing: rice, noodles,
him. We all, at different times, offered pasta and even a baked bean and
words of encouragement, only to be onion pizza were on the menu. For
met with Benos blunt and stubborn one lunch they somehow managed
reply: Ill be right. He didnt look like
iced donuts when my son Max con-
hed be right. fessed to taking two, earning him the
Our tea break that day was longer nickname Donuts.
than usual to give Beno On the day Max s
the chance to recharge. birthday fell, to our sur-
My lows were prise, our cooks were
able to bake a cake in

T
he legend of
Kokoda seeped
no longer about a pot over an open fire.
into our veins like the basic toilet They even iced it and
the moisture in our facilities the decorated it with Maxs
sleeping bags. As we never-ending name. I have to say it
rested at the top of a par- was close to the best
ticularly arduous climb,
hills they were cake I have ever tasted
we all chipped in. Sud- that the trek in my whole life.
denly Benos pack was was nearly over Sparklers lit the air as
on someone elses back. we sang a hearty Happy
Packs were swapped to Birthday. The smile on
share the load so Beno could continue Maxs face said it all. I suspect he didnt
without the burden of weight. want to be anywhere else in this world
That day Benos body began shut- at that moment but on the track as part
ting down, but there was nothing of the 1st RBR.
hecould do about it but grit his teeth
and keep going. And so he continued

T
he nine days merged together,
walking. Cameron later revealed he and started to pass too quickly.
had already been formulating a plan My lows were no longer about
to organise an emergency airlift. the humidity, basic toilet facilities, a
Giving up went through my mind damp sleeping bag, the smelly socks,
initially, for about a second. But I or the never-ending hills they were
could never give up. It hurt. It was the that the trek was nearly over.
hardest thing I have ever done I was It was Day 7. We woke to rain, and
in a world of hurt. The only reason I it rained all day. Everything was wet.
kept going was because of the other It was impossible to get dry, and we
eight guys, Beno said. all just wanted to give up. But our

March2017 | 111
J O U R N E Y T H R O U G H KO KO DA

discomfort paled into insignificance the site of the plane crash that first
as we thought of our forefathers in drew me to Papua New Guinea seven
the atrocious conditions they faced. years earlier. I could still make out the
We doggedly ploughed on, the rain scar in the jungle.
dampening any conversation. After setting up our campsite Cam-
By mid-afternoon we arrived at eron gave us another military history
the Isurava Battlefield and as we ap- lesson. He told the story of Bruce
proached the famous four pillars, Kingsbury, who earned a Victoria
which are engraved with the words Cross after bravely weighing into the
Courage, Endurance, Mateship, advancing Japanese forces, only to be
Sacrifice, the rain eased. The misty shot by a sniper.
clouds lifted and we got our first We then quietly moved to the Aus-
glimpse of the valley below. tralian-built memorial for a sombre
Just across the adjoining valley was service. More poems, more readings.

A Soldiers Farewell to His Son

I stand and watch you, little son, With vapours foul and filthy
Your bosoms rise and fall, When the blood-flow chokes the breath.
An old rag dog beside your cheek,
I hope that you will never know
A gaily coloured ball.
The dangers of the sea.
Your curly hair is ruffled as you
And that is why I leave you now
Rest there fast asleep,
To hold your liberty,
And silently I tip-toe in
To slay the demon War God
To have one last long peep.
I must leave you for a while
I come to say farewell to you, In mothers care till stars again
My little snowy son. From peaceful heaven smile.
And as I do I hope that you will Your mother is your daddy now,
Never slope a gun, To guard your little ways,
Or hear dive-bombers and Yet ever Ill be thinking of you both
Their dreadful whining roar, In future days.
Or see or feel their loads of death I must give up your tender years,
As overhead they soar. The joys Ill sorely miss,
I trust that you will never need My little man, farewell, so long,
To go abroad to fight, I leave you with a kiss.
SAPPER BERT BEROS
Or learn the awful lesson soon
That might to some is right, Herbert E. Beros, better known as Bert
Beros, served in both World Wars in the
Or see your cobbers blown to scraps navy in WWI and in Papua New Guinea
Or die a lingering death, during WWII as part of the 7th Division,
Royal Australian Engineers.

112 | March2017
 READERS DIGEST

Cam asked me to read Sapper Bert village. We had shared so much, a

Beross A Soldiers Farewell to His bunch of people who did not know
Son. My tears flowed like a flood as each other had become close. Beno
I read this ode, knowing that my son had turned a bunch of his mates into
was standing beside me. Knowing each others mates. We had walked in
also that my father and grandfather the footsteps of heroes.
died in this land. Its often said walking the Kokoda
It wasnt lost on Max that many who Track is life changing. Im not sure if it
fought and died here were his age or changed my life time will tell but I
younger. The track had shown him am confident it changed my perspec-
he was capable of more than he ever tive. Walking Kokoda was, without a
thought, both physically and mentally. doubt, a highlight of my life.
Now, he knew he could face a daunt- Looking into Benos eyes, as we
ing challenge, no matter what life walked under those arches, I could
threw at him. He had grown up. see the sense of achievement he felt.
There were hugs all round as we He had conquered what, for many
walked under the arches marking the healthy people, is an unsurmount-
northern end of the trail at Kokoda able challenge.
I never thought Id go to one of
Puzzle answers See page 122
t hese places where wed all hug,
wed all cry, Beno said. I just never
ODD ONE OUT thought that would be me.
G. In a triangle, the heart lies inside the circle and
the crescent lies outside of it. In a square, the We had all been taken to places in
reverse occurs.
our characters that we didnt know
GOT YOUR NUMBER existed.
3. The number on each card is half of the number
on the previous card when read upside down. (291 After we descended on Kokoda
is half of 582, 81 is half of 162 and so on.) Airports lounge a concrete slab
X MARKS THE SPOT under a tin roof Beno ducked away
3. to the Chinese Shop to buy a case
of SP Beer, the local brew. After a lei-
SUDOKU HIDDEN
MEANING surely drink, we boarded our Twin
3 6 7 9 1 5 4 2 8
A. Mother in law Otter for the short flight back to Port
1 9 4 6 8 2 5 3 7 B. A tall order
8 5 2 3 7 4 6 1 9 Moresby.
7 2 8 1 5 6 9 4 3 Then the 1st Royal Benson Regiment
5 4 9 8 2 3 7 6 1 disbanded. Nine men who had shared
6 1 3 7 4 9 8 5 2
a 96-kilometre adventure. Nine men
2 7 6 4 9 1 3 8 5
9 3 1 5 6 8 2 7 4 who had shared their lives for nine
4 8 5 2 3 7 1 9 6 days. Nine men nine days 96 kilo-
metres. Never to be forgotten.

March2017 | 113
 Unbelievable
TRUE TALES TOLD TALL

Thats Just Super-Duper

Nury Vittachi is bitten by the
superhero bug
MY WIFE and her
friends were
discussing the
topic What is the
deepest question ever?
so I gave them my choice:
What Superhero Would You Be?
The women sneered that my favoured
issue was not clever or existential,
butthe guys in the room agreed
thatchoosing a superpower was an
important subject deserving serious
consideration.
I know two lads who have been
having a passionate TWO-YEAR
debate over whether it would
be better to be a Beetleman
or a Lizardman.
The guys initially supported
Lizardman, as lizards can move each
I LLUSTRATI ON: iSTOCK

eye independently, can detach their

tails, and have tongues that strike
faster than the eye can see.
But after much heart-searching,
many of us switched to Beetleman,
asbeetles generate their own body

114 | March2017
armour, appeared before dinosaurs recent fashion in superhero literature
and have outlived them, and will is to have regular human characters
likely inherit the Earth, possibly some inside large machines, as seen in
time this year, if trends in global Gundam and Transformers. It frankly
politics are anything to go by. astonishes me that science today
Superhero fans of either sex is focused on useless things such
struggling with this crucial issue will as travelling to the stars instead of
be interested to hear that theres a making the world a better place
new candidate for best new origin by developing cool machines that
concept: Tardigrade Man or Woman. we can climb inside and use to hit
I learned about this from a writer each other with.
friend who reads When I mentioned
incredibly boring this, a friend told me
scientific papers as a It frankly about two machine-using
source of inspiration.
astonishes me brothers in the United
A tardigrade is a States who recently had
very small bug with that science an argument. Stanley
astonishing superpowers, today is focused Emanuel was in a crane
such as these three. on useless things and his brother Peter was
1) It can survive at in a front-end loader
such as
minus 272 Kelvin, when the row escalated
an unbelievably cold travelling to and turned into a battle.
temperature found only the stars Who won? Peters
in deep-space ice planets front-end loader
and the heart cavities of inner-city eventually tipped the crane over,
residential landlords. but Stanley jumped out and had
2) You can more or less kill a his brother arrested, according to
tardigrade and dry it out and then news reports.
bring it back to life, months later The wives thought having fisticuffs
an ability hitherto seen only in this from inside machines was dangerous
writers hard-drinking great-uncles. and irresponsible, but the image
3) Tardigrades can stay alive on food- prompted one of the guys to raise a
free diets for up to 30 years, a trait new philosophical question What
that reminds me of my wife and her Construction Vehicle Would You Be?
friends, many of whom have forsworn Oh, thats deep. Well get back to
food, living for decades only on you in a couple of years, maybe.
herbal tea and frosted lipstick.
Using bugs as a source of power Nury Vittachi is a Hong Kong-based
isa classic tradition, although the author. Read his blog at Mrjam.org

March2017 | 115
 out about
NEWS BOOKS FILMS DVDS

BEAUTY AND
THE BEAST
Family, Fantasy, Musical
Disneys much-loved
animated, classic fairy tale
comes to life with Emma
Watson as Belle and Dan
Stevens as the Beast.
A young prince,
imprisoned in the form of
a hideous and scary beast
in his castle, takes Belle,
an independent and
intelligent young lady,
captive. Despite her
fearsshe befriends the
bewitched servants and
looks beyond the Beasts
exterior to fall in love with
the kind-hearted prince
within. The plot may be
familiar but the movies
elaborate sets, the score
(featuring new and original
songs) and the all-star
cast, including Luke Evans
as Gaston; Kevin Kline as
Maurice, Belles father;
Ewan McGregor as
Lumire, the candelabra;
and Emma Thompson as
Mrs Potts, the teapot,
ensure this adaptation will
be a hit with adults and
children alike.

116 | March2017
 GEORGE LUCA AS
A life
Brian Jay Jones
Headline Publisshing
Group
In 1977, from a sever
over-schedule ed and under-
nanced period of lming
in the storm-
desert emerged Star Wars,
George Luc cass most famous
movie. It was a game-changer,
game
triggering a trio of events i cinematic hist ALONE IN
science ction is now a mega business i BERLIN Drama
world of entertainment; computer-generated Based on the 1947 novel
imagery has made the unreal real; and lmmaking, Every Man Dies Alone by
marketing and merchandising have been Hans Fallada and directed
revolutionised. For trailblazer Lucas, the path to by Vincent Prez, this
fame was strewn with nancial, professional and true story of courage
personal obstacles. This chronicle of his travails unfolds against the
and triumphs is a blockbuster in itself, which is volatile backdrop of
tting given the size, scope and impact of his 1940s Berlin. Otto and
career. It includes the insights of colleagues and Anna Quangel (Brendan
competitors all touched by the vision of a Gleeson and Emma
tenacious, somewhat solitary man who Thompson) are an
dug in and stuck to his goals and ideals. ordinary working-class
couple doing their best to
This chronicle
get through the war. But
is a blockbuster
when their only son
in itself
is killed in battle, this all
changes and Otto and
Anna, in their own way,
become part of the
PHOTO: (LUCAS ) GETTY IMAGES

German Resistance. They

channel their rage and
grief into making
postcards emblazoned
with anti-Nazi slogans,
which they distribute.
But this seemingly small
act of subversion comes
at acost.

March2017 | 117
DOCTOR STRANGE Science Fiction/Fantasy
Dr Stephen Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), an arrogant but skilful
surgeon, suffers a career-ending injury to his hands in a brutal car crash.
Desperate for a cure at any cost, Dr Strange travels to Nepal, home of the
Ancient One (Tilda Swinton), a mystic who teaches him that the world is
made up of more than what science can explain.
Strange, newly humbled, discovers mystical power, magic and a series of
innite dimensions that reach beyond the known world to the Multiverse.
With a new skill set, Dr Strange nds himself defending the world against
theforces of evil.

lp Fiction
ibrarian at the ringbah Library in Sydney
surprised t iscover that the book she was
cking back i Apple to the Core: The Unmaking
the Beatl was a whopping 14,934 days overdue.
No one kn how it found its way to a garage sale in
Ballina s 900 km north, where it was bought by a
ecided it needed to be returned, 41 years
stimated late fees on this book? Just under
iginally purchased by the library for $3.82 in
4, it now worth around $250 to collectors. Rather,
it was soon after it was returned to the library, it was
another adventure, this time to be pulped.

Marc
 READERS DIGEST

JASPER JONES
Drama, Thriller,
Mystery
Based on Craig
Silveys classic
coming-of-age novel,
Jasper Jones is set in
a small country town
in Western Australia in
the summer of 1965.
The story is told
through the eyes of
The Secret of Eternal Youth? 13-year-old Charlie
Some deep-sea sponges have been recorded at Bucktin (Levi Miller),
around 11,000 years of age but there may be a whose quiet life is
creature that tops even that. The Turritopsis turned upside down
dohrnii, the immortal jellysh, appears to be able when outcast
to reverse its own life cycle: in adverse conditions, Indigenous boy
it can transform back to its youthful polyp state, Jasper Jones (Aaron
effectively becoming biologically immortal. L. McGrath)comes to
Studies are under way to determine if this simple him for help. Jasper
marine creature may be the key to defeating has found the body of
cancer, old age and even death. a local girl beaten and
hanging from a tree.
Convinced he will be
PETS ON HOLIDAY blamed for her death,
The best pet-friendly accommodation, Jasper assures Charlie
activities and cafes all over Australia of his innocence and
Gareth Brock secures his help to
nd the killer.
Explore Australia, an imprint of
Hardie Grant Travel
We go on holiday with our two-
legged loved ones, so why not our
four-legged ones? Trouble is, many hotels and
restaurants dont let animals past the reception desk,
so Gareth Brock set out to nd those places where he
and his beloved dog Ebony would be welcome. The
more than 650 pet-friendly holiday venues cover
everything from luxury cottages to caravan parks and
campsites. It traverses Australia, taking in eateries,
walks, parks and beaches, too. Handy icons let owners
see whats on offer and what restrictions apply.

March2017 | 119
 Photojournalist
OUT & ABOUT Don McCullin,
who risked his
life to capture
MISS SLOANE the grim reality
Thriller of war
Jessica Chastain stars
inthis fast-paced
political thriller as
Elizabeth Sloane, one
ofWashington DCs
successful, yet
controversial, lobbyists.
The movie switches
back and forth between
US Senate hearings
investigating Miss
Sloanes unorthodox WE CHOSE TO SPEAK
dealings and the events, OF WAR AND STRIFE
seven months prior, that The world of the foreign correspondent
have led her to this John Simpson
point. It was in the wake
of several mass Bloomsbury
shootings that Miss To witness and report on the
Sloane agreed to take worlds dening and often
on the most powerful darkest moments wars,
opponent of her career; insurrections, famine, political
the gun lobby, only to intrigue takes a special
nd that this time commitment and resolve. John
winning may come at Simpson, a respected gure
too high a price. from the frontlines, has written a history of the
perilous profession of foreign correspondent
that introduces us to men and women driven in
the pursuit of stories that need to be told. Their
skill lies in their ability to seek out a story and
distil and communicate what they have
witnessed, often at great personal risk. Among
PHOTO: (M C CULLIN ) GETTY IM AGES

the most difficult to forget are Anthony Loyds

report on the ght for Fallujah in Iraq, in 2016,
and Michael Buerks coverage of famine in
Ethiopia in 1984. Simpson speaks of his own
experiences and friendships made in desperate
times. From the Crimean War to the fall of
Saigon, the siege of Sarajevo to the genocide in
Rwanda, the work of a foreign correspondent is
a clarion call to never becoming inured to what
is indefensible, wicked or cruel.

120 | March2017
 Acid Pollution
on the Decline
Danish
researchers at
theUniversity of
Copenhagen have
discovered that man-
made acid pollution of
the atmosphere is
almost back to pre-
industrial levels. For THE LONELY PLANET TRAVEL
the rst time, they ANTHOLOGY
were able to distinguish True stories from the worlds best writers
between man-made
Edited by Don George
acids, caused mainly by
fossil fuel consumption, Lonely Planet
and those produced by Transport, transform, test, teach.
volcanic eruptions or Travel can do that to us, as this
forest res. Production latest edition in a long-running
of the former reached anthology series conrms. Here,
its peak in the 1970s, 34 noted novelists, journalists
but following clean and travel-writers each recount
airlegislation in Europe avery different story. Among
and the United States, thesparkling gems, Alexander
and the implementation McCall Smith is forever changed
of more effective by the Troubles in Ireland in the 1970s, Elizabeth
industrial ltering George explores her affinity with England, Jan
methods, man-made Morris evokes Americas Midwest on a morning
acid pollution has 70years ago, and Jessica Silber visits endangered
nowfallen to 1930s gorillas inthe Congo, and experiences a great deal
levels. more. The themes, styles and settings encompass
the gritty, exotic, romantic, melancholy and
amusing. These are multi-layered journeys of
aliteral and metaphorical kind that sharpen the
P HOTO: (GORILLAS) iSTOC K

senses and will surely trigger reections and

contemplations in the reader themselves.

I had put myself out into the world, I had

made myself available to failure, but also to
exploration, to the moments of beauty.
MRIDU KHULLAR RELPH, award-winning journalist

March2017 | 121
BRAIN POWER
TEST YOUR MENTAL PROWESS

Puzzles
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind stretchers,
then check your answers on page 113.
BY MARCEL DANESI

ODD ONE OUT X MARKS THE SPOT

Which gure does not belong in the set? Identify which of the numbers
in the grid below is X, if:
Q Three squares away from X is
a number that is three times X.
Q Two squares away from X is
a number that is twice X.
A B C Q Three squares away from X
is a number that is equal to X
plus four.
Q Three squares away from X is
a number that is equal to ve
times X plus two.
D E F Q Squares can be counted
horizontally, vertically or
diagonally.

G H I 2 8 10 13 5
GOT YOUR NUMBER 11 3 23 6 7
What number belongs on the
blank card?
16 21 20 19 30

18 25 27 28 29

1 9 4 14 17

122 | March2017
 7 9 1 4
4 5
8 5 1 9
5 3
5 8 2 3 1
6 4
2 7 8 5
1 2
5 3 7 1
TO SOLVE THIS SUDOKU
You have to put a number from 1 to 9 in each
square so that:
Q every horizontal row and vertical column
contains all nine numerals (1-9) without
repeating any of them;
Q each of the 3 x 3 boxes has all nine numerals,
none repeated.

HIDDEN MEANING
Identify the common words or phrases below.

A
ORDER
B

March2017 | 123
BRAIN POWER

TEST YOUR GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

Trivia
1. Was the original good 8. Tom Cruise is a
Samaritan a man or a member of which
woman? religion? 1 point
1 point 9. What sports game
2. King George III was the first to be
of Great Britain was played on the moon?
deemed unfit to rule 1 point
in 1810 for what reason? 10. The earliest-known
1 point fashion magazine was
3. What is unique about published in which
12. To the nearest hundred,
birthdays in Vietnam? how many Pokmon are century: the 16th, 17th,
1 point there to date? 2 points 18th or 19th? 1 point
4. What bird proposes 11. Four well-known
to a mate with a pebble? insects taste with their
2 points feet. Can you name one? 1 point
5. Which is the only country in the 13. Which company, now one of the
world to ban the sale of tobacco and worlds largest manufacturers of
tobacco products? 2 points video games, started business in 1889
6. The ancient continent of selling playing cards? 1 point
Gondwana was named after a region 14. What fruit has the highest number
in which modern-day country? of kilojoules? 1 point
2 points 15. Vanilla flavouring comes from
7. Do mens shirts button on the left the seed pod of what types of flowers?
or the right? 1 point 2 points
I LLUSTRATI ON: iSTOCK

16-20 Gold medal 11-15 Silver medal 6-10 Bronze medal 0-5 Wooden spoon
14. Avocado, at approximately 862 kilojoules per 100 g. 15. Orchids of the genus Vanilla.
published in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1586. 11. Buttery, y, mosquito, cockroach. 12. Seven hundred. 13. Nintendo.
shirts button on the left. 8. Scientology. 9. Golf, by Apollo 14 astronaut Alan Shepard in 1971. 10. The 16th. It was
lunar New Year (Tt). 4. The Gentoo penguin. 5. Bhutan. 6. Gondwana region in India. 7. On the right. Womens
ANSWERS: 1. A man. 2. Mental illness. 3. Everyone shares the same birthday, on the rst day of the Vietnamese

124 | March2017
 BRAIN POWER

IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power
Not So Dead Language
Latin is not the official language of any country today, but far from being
defunct, its thriving in hundreds of our common English expressions.
Whether its alias (assumed name) or veto (I forbid), Caesars language
is entwined with ours. Pro bono (free) answers on next page.

BY E M ILY COX & H E NRY RATH VON

1. verbatim adv. A: slowly and 8. per capita adv. A: financially.

carefully. B: without stopping. B: in block letters. C: for each person.
C: word for word. 9. ergo adv. A: as soon as.
2. mea culpa n. A: congratulations. B: therefore. C: otherwise.
B: acknowledgment of fault. 10. circa prep. A: about or around.
C: wavering decision. B: after. C: between.
3. bona fide adj. A: genuine. 11. persona non grata adj.
B: secret. C: at home. A: fake. B: thankless. C: unwelcome.
4. non sequitur n. A: odd 12. semper fidelis adj.
man out. B: comment that A: at attention. B: innocent.
doesnt follow logically. C: always loyal.
C: failure to obey.
13. carpe diem interj. A: happy
5. ad infinitum adv. A: imitating. anniversary! B: seize the day!
B: without end. C: making a C: listen, please!
bold display.
14. quasi adj. A: a bit seasick.
6. status quo n. A: good B: having some resemblance.
reputation. B: current state of affairs. C: part time.
C: complete sentence.
15. quid pro quo n. A: something
7. magnum opus n. A: masterpiece. given or received for something else.
B: large debt. C: giant squid. B: vote in favour. C: generous tip.

March2017 | 125
WORD POWER

Answers
1. verbatim [C] word for word. 9. ergo [B] therefore. The groom
If you dont repeat the magic spell was late; ergo, the crowd and the
verbatim, the cave door wont open. bride appeared unsettled.
2. mea culpa [B] acknowledgment 10. circa [A] about or around. It was
of fault. Whenever Ryan misses a circa 1978 that Juliana first started
crucial catch, he says, Mea culpa! collecting Peanuts memorabilia.
3. bona fide [A] genuine. I was 11. persona non grata [C]
waiting for a bona fide apology after unwelcome. After I dropped the ball
my argument with customer service. and didnt call my friend for years,
4. non sequitur [B] comment that he declared me persona non grata.
doesnt follow logically. We were 12. semper fidelis [C] always loyal.
discussing the film when Taylor threw Jack typically shortens the US Marines
in a non sequitur about her new cat. motto to a yell of Semper fi!
5. ad infinitum [B] without end. 13. carpe diem [B] seize the day!
Dont get my sister started on Dont sit around procrastinating, you
politics, or shell start hurling her sluggard carpe diem!
opinions ad infinitum. 14. quasi [B] having some
6. status quo [B] current state resemblance. With a broom handle
of affairs. The new CEOs structural and three wires, I invented a
moves have really quasi guitar.
changed the status 15. quid pro quo
quo for the better.
TRIVIAL PURSUIT [A] something given
7. magnum opus The word trivia comes from or received for
[A] masterpiece. the Latin trivium, a place something else.
I think of Good where three roads meet, Offer me trading
Vibrations as from tri (three) and via advice, and Ill chip
Brian Wilsons (way). In ancient times, at a in some tech help;
major crossroads, you might
magnum opus. its a quid pro quo.
nd a group of gossipers
8. per capita gathered there. Locals and
[C] for each person. travellers could exchange
VOCABULARY RATINGS
Ever the economist, news at these intersections 9 & below: cum laude
Mum said, Just one but the information might 1012: magna
lollipop per capita, have been commonplace, cum laude
and of little value. 1315: summa
kids.
cumlaude

126 | March2017
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