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Sandlot Script
Sandlot Script
Voila! Finally, the Sandlot script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the baseball movie.
This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings
of Sandlot. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my
feelings. Honest.
Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!
Sandlot Script
10:00 mins
[ Whispering ] Well?
Well?
- He's too busy, Mom. - Oh, no, honey, he's not. He has some
time.
You go on back out there and ask him.
[TV Continues ]
- Uh, Bill, uh-- - Yeah?
I mean, Dad, uh, can we--
I mean, could you, like you said, teach me to play catch?
Yeah. Sure.
But I gotta get this done, okay?
- Okay, thanks. - All right.
- Bill? - Yeah?
Uh, couldn't you take a break and teach him now?
- Mom, it's okay, really. - Honey,
I said I would, and I will, but I'm under the gun here.
How long could it take?
Can't you spare half an hour and show him now?
- Mom, really, it's okay. - All right.
Okay. I'll get my glove.
See? I told you.
Oh, great.
All right, Scotty, get down to that end of the yard.
Okay.
Now, the key to this game is keeping your eye on the ball.
No matter whether you're in the field or at bat, eye on the
ball, okay?
All right. Uh, yeah. I think so.
Where the ball goes, your glove should go. Got it?
Okay.
Okay. All right.
[ Grunts ]
Darn. Sorry.
It's all right. All right.
Um-- Uh, here.
Okay.
Okay, I'm ready.
Eye on the ball, okay? Got it?
Okay.
If the ball moves, move your glove. Got it?
Yeah.
All right. Here we go.
Okay. You just need a bigger glove. Throw it back to me this
time.
Throw it back.
Okay. Scotty, keep your eye on the ball.
Okay. Got it.
Okay.
Ow! Oh, my eye!
Ow! Ow! Oh!
Ow! Ow!
- What happened? - [ Groans ] My eye.
- Honey, get some ice. Ice. - No, I got it.
- Here you go. - Those were for dinner.
- Oh! -Just hold it up there.
Nice and hard. Press it against-- Yeah.
- I just took my eye off the ball, Mom. - Yeah, but you caught
it.
- [Groaning] -Just keep that on for, like, an hour.
It'll still be black, but it won't swell.
Sorry.
Gotta watch out for that curve.
[ Crying ]
Hey.
I'm gonna play some ball. We need an extra guy. You wanna go?
- No. Thanks. - Why not? Don't you like baseball?
- Oh, yeah, but-- - But what?
But my glove-- it's busted.
Uh, see? Now I can't go. Thanks, though.
It's okay.
I got an extra one.
Come on. Let's go.
Mom, I'm gonna go play some ball!
I'll be back in a little while.
Come on. Let's go.
- And I'm Babe Ruth. - [Boys Chattering]
Listen. Ready?
Check this out.
[ Muffled ] I'm the Great Bambino.
[ Boys ] What?
- I'm the Great Bambino. - [ All ] What?
I'm the Great Bambino.
[ All ] Oh!
Who's that?
What?
[Scotty Narrating] I had no idea who they were talking about.
- What did he say? - What, were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah, what planet are you from?
[Scotty Narrating] But there was no way I could let them know.
You never heard of the Sultan of Swat?
The Titan of Terror?
- The Colossus of Clout? - The Colossus of Clout!
- The King of Crash, man. - [Scotty Narrating] So I lied.
Oh, yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course.
I thought you said, "the Great Bambi."
That wimpy deer?
15:00
Yeah. I guess. Sorry.
Anyway, Scott, that's Timmy and Tommy Timmons,
Mike "Squints" Palledorous,
Alan McClellan-- we call him Yeah-Yeah--
Bertram Grover Weeks,
Kenny DeNunez and Hamilton Porter.
We call him Ham. Guys, this is Scott Smalls.
Hi.
Yeah, um, wel I, he's gonna play with us 'cause he makes nine.
Now we've got a whole team. We're wasting time. Let's go to the
sandlot.
- Benny, it's : in the morning. - It's : .
- Why'd you bring him, Benny? - 'Cause there's eight of us, and
he makes nine.
- Why'd you bring him, Benny? - 'Cause there's eight of us, and
he makes nine.
Yeah, yeah, so would my sister, but I didn't bring her.
With nine guys we've got a whole team, Yeah-Yeah.
No. With Elswenger we had a whole team.
- Elswenger could catch. - And throw.
Come on, Benny, man. He ain't game.
- You saw the way he threw. - Yeah.
You already fill up all the empty positions since Elswenger
moved to Arizona.
Right. And now I get to rotate eight positions instead of seven.
- I need the practice, guys. - You're the best on the team. You
don't need any practice.
- No, you don't. - You're the best, man.
Come on, Benny, man. The kid is...
a L- weenie.
Yeah, yeah. Oscar Mayer even. Foot-long!
- Dodger dog! A weenie! - [Boys Laughing]
What are you laughing at, Yeah-Yeah? You run like a duck.
Okay, okay, but I'm-- I'm--
- Part of the game, right? - Mmm, yeah.
Now, how come he don't get to be?
- 'Cause he's a geek, man. - He can't catch.
Man, base up, you blockheads.
Smalls, you take left center, okay?
Okay. Um, where exactly is that?
It's over there, man.
Here?
That's left. I said left center.
Okay. Right.
Here?
Come on, Benny, man.
He's never gonna catch the ball anyway. Let's just play.
- What a jerk. - Yeah-Yeah, get two.
Come on! Throw it in here, Bertram!
- Nice. - Wow!
Good job!
- Hey, Smalls, throw it to second. - Okay.
[ Gasps ]
- Come on, Benny. He's never gonna catch it. - He's not gonna
catch it.
[ Grunting ]
Oh! I told you, Benny. We told you.
[Dog Growling]
Come on, Benny. Why'd you do that?
A square, Benny. The kid's a square.
[ Growling Continues ]
18:00
Come on. Throw it in.
19:20
I bet you get straight A's and shit, huh?
No, I got a "B" once.
Actually an A-minus. But it should've been a "B."
Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking.
You just have fun.
I mean, if you were having fun, you would've caught that ball.
You ever have a paper route?
I helped a guy once.
Okay. Well, chuck it like you would throw a paper.
When your arm gets here, just let go.
Just let go. It's that easy.
How do I catch it?
Just stand there and stick your glove out in the air.
I'll take care of it.
About time, Benny. My clothes are going out of style.
- They already are, Squints. - Shut up!
I told you, Benny.
Smalls, throw it to second.
Okay.
[ Groans ]
- Not again. - [ Spits ]
We're wasting time, Benny.
Please catch it.
Please catch it.
Please catch it. Please catch it.
Yeah!
- All right! - He's all right.
I told you so, man.
Okay.
- Let's play some ball. - Yeah, let's play some ball.
All right. I knew it... all the time.
Yeah!
[Dog Growling]
[Fence Rattling]
[ Gasps ]
I'll show you some more tomorrow, okay?
- Okay. Bye. - You did good.
See you later, Ham. : tomorrow.
- : Benny? - Yeah. See you later, Smalls.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
Benny, wait!
- Your glove. - Keep it, man.
Thanks!
Oh, yeah. Hey, Smalls.
Um, bring a T-shirt and jeans tomorrow, okay?
- Oh, um, you got a fireplace? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, why?
Throw that hat in there, man.
Oh, yeah. You know, it was the only one I had.
Not anymore. Wear my old hat.
: tomorrow morning.
Thanks, Benny. Great. : .
Mom, guess what?
- Hamilton "The Babe" Porter. - [ Chuckles ]
"Long-ball" Porter.
Come on, DeNunez.
[ All Laughing, Taunting ]
Yeah, okay. Yes, I see it. Yes.
[ Boys Shouting ]
- Whoa! - [Boys Laughing]
You call that pitching?
This is baseball, not tennis.
- Give him a tennis racket. - Give me something to hit.
All right, Ham. This is my heater.
- I dare you to hit it. - You'll be sorry.
- Give that boy a bigger bat. - You want the heater, I'll give
it to you.
Give him a basketball. Maybe then he'll hit it.
- [Clattering] - Oh, man!
Yeah! That's how you do it.
Ham, you idiot. Now we can't play no more.
Great, you idiot!
Hit me with the heater.
Stupid idiot!
Low and outside. Just like I like it.
I'm gonna hit you!
- Wait a sec. I'll get it. - [Ham] called shot World
Series by The Babe.
Called shot by the Babe.
No!
[ All ] No!
[Boys Shouting]
- Smalls, come back! - Hey guys, I'll get it!
- Smalls! - Smalls!
- What are you doing? - Smalls, wait!
- Guys, what are you-- - [ All ] Smalls!
Get off! Guys, I gotta get the ball!
- No, wait! - Get off of me! Now!
- You're gonna get yourself killed! - Killed, man, jeez!
Stop!
Holy crap, you could've been killed.
Yeah, yeah, truly. What are you doing?
You guys were leaving, so I just thought I'd hop the fence--
- If you were thinking, you wouldn't have thought that. - You
can't go back there.
- Then how do we get the ball back? - We don't.
- We don't. - It's history.
- It's history. Kiss it-- - Kiss it good-bye. Shut up, Tommy.
25:00
It's gone, man. Gone.
Game's over, man. We'll just get another ball tomorrow.
- Yeah. - We'll never see it again.
Why not?
[ All ] The Beast.
What is that?
Smalls, listen to me.
Go to that fence... real slow, and be quiet.
- But... I-I think-- - No, no, no. No, no.
-Just go and peek through that hole. - But I--
-But I saw something. What's back there? -It's okay. Just go.
-Just go. - Go, Smalls.
Come on, Smalls.
[ All ] Shh!
[Boys Whispering]
Shh!
- Shh! - Be quiet.
- [ Growling ] - [ Gasps ]
Something got the ball.
W-What was that thing?
[ All ] Camp out.
In the jungle the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
[Scotty] Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
- My mom made me put on my jacket, - Shut up!
- and then she made me do the dishes. - [ Boys Laughing]
Your poor little mommy made you do the big bad dishes.
- Hey, you want a s'more? - Some more what?
- No, no, you want a s'more? - [Boys Chattering]
I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of
nothing?
- Shut up! - You're killing me, Smalls.
- All right. Who cut one? - These are s'mores stuff.
- Okay, pay attention. - Bertram!
First you take the graham.
You stick the chocolate on the graham.
- Then you roast the 'mallow. - No, it's my sleeping bag.
When the 'mallow's flaming,
Yes, it is yours. It has a yellow stain on it.
you stick it on the chocolate.
- You're gonna set the place on fire. - Then...
- you cover it with the other end. - Make me one of those.
Yeah, me too.
- Then you stuff. - I don't like that chocolate stuff.
Kind of messy, but good. Try some.
Okay. Quiet, you guys.
- [ Chattering ] - Shh! Shh!
Quiet! Are you trying to wake it up?
It just went to bed.
- What just went to bed? - [ Boys ] Shh!
The Beast.
- Oh, yeah! - Shh!
-Jeez. - Dang.
Shh.
Now quiet.
The legend of The Beast goes back a long time...
before any of us could even pick up a baseball.
Back to a place called Mertle's Acres.
It all started about, mmm, years ago,
when thieves kept stealing junk from Mertle's Acres junkyard.
So Mr. Mertle, the guy that used to own the place,
got him this new pup from the dog pound.
He fed him whole sides of beef...
and turned the pup loose in the junkyard.
And the pup was grateful.
[ Thunderous Footsteps ]
And so, in a few weeks, the pup grew into The Beast.
And he grew big, and he grew mean...
so that he could protect the junkyard with only one thing on
his mind:
to kill everyone that broke in.
- And he did, and he liked it a lot! - [ Men Screaming ]
The Beast was the most perfect junkyard dog that ever lived.
A true killing machine.
But after a while, the cops started getting phone calls from
people...
reporting all the missing thieves,
the ones The Beast had killed.
It added up to about --
guys.
- It's true. - [ Growling ]
They never found a single body.
Not one. Some people say they all got away.
But we all know what really happened.
The Beast ate them.
He ate them bone and all.
The Beast was too good at his guard dog job,
so the police said he had to be retired.
My grandpa, Squidman Palledorous,
was police chiefback then.
He ordered Mr. Mertle to turn his backyard into a fortress...
and chain up The Beast and put him under the house...
where he could never get out to eat children and stuff.
- That's where he's been for years. - [ Growling ]
And that's where he'll be for the rest of his life.
Because Mr. Mertle asked the cops how long...
he had to keep The Beast chained up like a slave,
they said until forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. [ Echoing ]
And so, The Beast sits there under that lean-to,
dreaming of the time when he can break the chain and get out,
dreaming of the time he can chase and kill again.
See, man? That's why you can't go over there.
Nobody ever has. Nobody ever will.
One kid did, but nobody ever seen him again.
- That ain't true. - Yeah, it is.
He got eaten.
Nuh-uh.
No. None of that's true.
You guys are just making this up to scare me.
Oh, yeah?
Stick your head out that window...
and look down.
[Scotty Narrating] That night I learned that more than
baseballs...
had gone over that fence and not one of them was ever seen
again,
- even when some brave kid... - [ The Beast Growling ]
worked up enough courage to peek over.
Because when they went over, they vanished.
I knew it was true.
- Because when I looked down in there, - [ Growling Continues ]
I didn't see a single solitary one.
- [ Chain Rattling ] - [ Screaming ]
- He's down there. - You bet he is.
Whatever goes over that fence...
stays there.
It becomes the property of The Beast...
forever.
- Come on, give it to me. - No, I wanna carry it.
- Come on. I paid for it. - I wanna carry it.
- Oh. Whoa! - Give it to me.
- There goes my baby - Jeez Louise.
- What's the matter? - Jeez.
Movin' on down the line
Wonderin' where Wonderin' where
Wonderin' where she is bound
Wendy Peffercorn. Mmm.
- Whoa! - Wow!
Now I'm alone so all alone
What can I do What can I do
- There goes my baby - Whoa-oa-oa
- There goes my baby - Whoa, I-I-I-I
- There goes my baby - Whoa-oa-oa
- There she goes - Yeah
- Come on, let's go. We gotta get-- - No!
- We gotta get to the sandlot. Let's go. - Did she really
love me
- [ Chattering ] - Was she just playin'
- Come on. Let's go. - Okay.
[ Panting ] I'm sweating like a pig.
Let's go! Come on!
Where you guys been? We've been waiting here forever already.
Aw, Squints was pervin' a dish.
- Shut up. I wasn't. - Yeah, yeah, you were.
Your tongue was hangin' out of your head, and you was swoonin'.
Oh, Wendy Peffercorn, my darling lover girl. [ Chuckles ]
I said shut up!
I've got a lot of things on my mind.
This pop isn't working, Benny.
I'm baking like a toasted cheeser! It's so hot here!
It's degrees out there. You can't play baseball.
- You have to call it for the day. - You gotta listen to him,
Benny.
Vote then. Anybody who wants to be...
a "can't hack it" panty waist...
who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.
- Yeah, I can handle that. - [ Chattering In Agreement ]
Fine, fine, fine!
Be like that.
So what are we gonna do?
[ Laughing ]
Scam pool honeys!
[Scotty Narrating] Benny would've played ball all day, all
night, rain,
shine, tidal wave, whatever.
Baseball was the only thing he cared about.
But of all the things we ever did besides baseball,
going to the pool was what he tolerated best.
Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine,
- which we constantly lied about, - Hi.
we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being
there.
I remember you. Oh, sexy.
Hey, girls.
Cannonball!
[ Women Screaming ]
[ Scotty Narrating ] It wasn't really the pool honeys like we
said,
because if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we'd
have just peed our pants.
We all went because--
well, because Wendy Peffercorn was the lifeguard.
- Aw, man. - Yeah, yeah. Too cool.
[ Timmy ] She don't know what she's doing.
[ Tommy ] She don't know what she's doing.
[ Benny ] Yeah, she does.
She knows exactly what she's doing.
I've swum here every summer of my adult life.
And every summer, there she is,
lotioning, oiling, oiling, lotioning.
- One day it became too much... - Smiling.
- for Michael "Squints" Palledorous. - Smiling!
I can't take this no more!
- Move! - And he did the most desperate thing...
- Lotioning, oiling. - any of us...
- had ever seen. - Lotioning,
oiling.
[ Chuckles ]
- What's wrong with him? - What's he doing?
Three summers of this. I think he finally snapped.
I don't know. But that's the deep end, and Squints can't swim.
[ Shuddering ]
[ Giggles ]
[ All Shouting ]
[Shouting Continues ]
- Somebody help him! - Squints!
Somebody help him! Come on!
[ Shouting Continues ]
Move back. Move back.
- Okay, I got him. I got him. - Come on up, Wendy.
Everybody move back. Move back. Roll him over.
Never mind! Never mind!
- Come on, Squints. - [ Exhaling Forcefully]
- Come on, Squints. - Come on!
- Squints! - [ Exhaling Forcefully]
- Come on, Squints. Squints. - Come on, Squints. Come on.
- Wake up. - Come on, breathe, would you?
Come on, Squints! You can do it! Pull through, bud!
- Come on, man! Come on! - Yeah, yeah. He looks pretty crappy.
Squints! Come on, man.
Oh, God, he looks like a dead fish.
[ Boys ] What?
- This magic moment - [ Muffled Grunt ]
- [ Screams ] Little pervert! - So different
38:30
. - And so new
- [Boys Shouting] - Was like any other
Until I kissed you
And then it happened
It took me by surprise
I knew that you felt it too
- By the look in your eyes - And stay out!
Sweeter than wine
Softer than the summer night
Everything I want I have
Whenever I hold you tight
This magic moment
While your lips are close to mine
Will last forever
Oh, hey, here's your glasses. Did you plan that?
Of course I did. I been planning it for years.
You guys, he planned that! He knew what he was doing!
Oh, magic
Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little taller that day.
We had to tip our hats to him.
He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him.
We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky,
rotten and low... and cool.
Not another one among us would've ever in a million years...
even for a million dollars had the guts to put the move on the
lifeguard.
He did. He had kissed a woman,
and he had kissed her long and good.
We got banned from the pool forever that day.
But every time we walked by after that,
the lifeguard looked down from her tower,
- This magic moment - right over at Squints...
- and smiled. - While your lips are close to mine
[ Boys Laughing, Chattering ]
- O beautiful - [ Knocking ]
- Get your glove and come on. - What's the big deal?
- Night game. Come on. Come on. - Mom, I'm going out!
In liberating strife
Who more than self
- [Fireworks Whistling] - The country loved
[Scotty Narrating] There was only one night game a year.
- Guys, wait up! - On the th of July...
the whole sky would brighten up with fireworks,
giving us just enough light for a game.
We played our best then because, I guess, we all felt like the
big leaguers...
under the lights of some great stadium.
Benny felt like that all the time.
We all knew he was gonna go on to bigger and better games,
because every time we stopped to watch the sky on those nights
like regular kids,
he was there to call us back.
You see, for us, baseball was a game.
But for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez,
baseball was life.
- [ Boys Shouting ] - And every grain divine
- Okay, hit it! - Yeah, yeah, come on, Benny.
O beautiful
For spacious skies
- For amber waves of grain - [ Fireworks Whistling,
Crackling ]
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain
Now wait a minute.
I'm talking about--
America
Sweet
America
You know--
God done shed His grace on thee
He-He-He crowned thy good
Yes, He did.
In a brotherhood
- Man! - From sea
To shining sea
[ Boys Shouting ]
[ Boys Shouting ]
- Come on! Hurry up! - First!
Run!
Back off!
Yeah, yeah!
- Throw it in! Throw it in! - Get him! Get him!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Come on! Hurry up! - Go, Benny!
- [ Groaning ] - Oh, damn!
Oh, no!
It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid,
Rodriguez.
52:45 - Bitchin' .
- [ Benny ] Nah, it ain't.
Come on. Maybe two or three guys in history...
ever busted the guts out of a ball.
- Must be an omen. - All's it means is that we can't play no
more.
It's only : and I just ruined the whole day for us.
No, you didn't. That's the most amazing thing I ever saw.
- Yeah. - [Benny] Anybody got any money?
- [ All ] No. - Then it ain't okay, 'cause now we can't play no
more.
Yeah, we can.
What, you got extra cents lying around, Smalls?
- No, but I got a ball. - [ All ] Go get it!
I got it, guys! I got it! I got the ball, guys!
I got it. Right here, guys.
I got the ball. I got it.