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30 Rock - 1x04 - Jack The Writer - en
30 Rock - 1x04 - Jack The Writer - en
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Anybody have anything
on page one?
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00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:14,181
I think we need to change
this Donald Trump joke--
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because Donald Trump was eaten
by a lion this morning
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00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:21,313
on the International Space Station.
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00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,482
Anyone listening?
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Yeah, okay, Cerie,
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how about instead of
doing the scripts,
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00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,362
why don't you just organize
those videotapes?
10
00:00:28,527 --> 00:00:31,070
Oh, okay.
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00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:40,665
Okay, actually, could you go downstairs
and get me a chai tea?
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Okay.
Um, where are my shoes?
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No, no, just go.
Just go barefoot!
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Just leave you shoes.
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Okay.
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We gotta change this
Trump joke.
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- Mr. Jordan.
- What's up, Ken?
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I got your car washed
like you asked.
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And I got that "Baby on Board" sign you wanted
to help you get tail.
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Thanks, Ken.
You done good.
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It's my pleasure and my job, sir.
Anything you ever need, just ask.
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But I want you to know something.
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You and me, it's not gonna be
a one-way street.
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'Cause I don't believe in
one-way streets.
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Not between people and
not while I'm driving.
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Oh, okay.
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So here's some advice I wish I would've got
when I was your age.
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Live every week
like it's Shark Week.
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Excellent call, guys.
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Good old Stan there.
Happy Birthday, Stan.
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All right,
we're halfway done.
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Let's take a little break.
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You guys want to have a
one-minute dance party?
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Good idea.
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Crank it, Toofer.
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* Grown and sexy from your head
down to your toes *
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* You know you're fine
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* Got that perfect face,
a perfect shape *
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* And perfect smile...
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Yeah, shake it!
Feel the music.
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Ahem!
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Oh, Mr. Donaghy!
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No, please...
finish your dance.
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Oh, we were just
taking a little break.
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And we all love the music
of Chamillionaire.
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I see.
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If you don't mind,
I'll just observe from over here.
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You will?
Why?
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Are you familiar
with Six Sigma?
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Oh, yeah, it's a special kind of
G.I. Joe.
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It's Frank, right?
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Yes, sir.
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Yeah. Frank...
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Six Sigma is the elite
GE executive training course.
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To master just its basic concepts,
one must brave a five-day conference at a Sheraton.
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Six Sigma says that a manager
must understand every aspect
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of the business
he or she oversees.
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Which means?
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00:03:02,976 --> 00:03:04,510
I'll be in here every day.
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00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,851
Soaking it up.
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So please return to work,
and act like I'm not here.
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Okay.
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Let's, uh, get into
Toofer's commercial parody.
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We were trying to think of
a funnier cereal name.
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The favorite options so far include
Honey Bunches of Sadness,
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Oat Bung,
and Swaztik-o's.
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Fruit Lupus.
68
00:03:32,176 --> 00:03:33,002
No.
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Dingleberries.
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Fart Nuggets.
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I'm sorry.
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That's really great.
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Okay, let's just think
for another minute.
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Frosted Mini Guns.
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00:03:49,317 --> 00:03:50,811
Lucky Bastards?
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If you don't mind, I think
we all really laughed at Fart Nuggets,
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so could we just move on,
please.
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Every day, huh?
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You guys want coffee?
80
00:04:01,656 --> 00:04:02,910
Oh, yeah.
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00:04:03,075 --> 00:04:05,120
So I was doing some
research on comedy.
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And I came across
the cartoon strip Dilbert.
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It's quite good.
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And I was wondering
if we could do that.
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Do what?
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Dilbert.
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00:04:17,426 --> 00:04:18,382
You guys want coffee?
88
00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:19,421
Oh, yeah.
89
00:04:19,597 --> 00:04:21,553
No, no, no,
you can't say that.
90
00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:23,380
Jeb Bush is a friend
of mine.
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00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:25,222
Who should I change it to?
92
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:27,853
Sean Penn--
No, Barbra Streisand.
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00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:29,641
He guns it.
Girl falls into the water.
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00:04:29,817 --> 00:04:30,771
You guys want coffee?
95
00:04:30,935 --> 00:04:33,061
So we circle back
looking for her.
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Remember, it's pitch black out.
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The boat hits something hard.
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And you hear kind of...
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00:04:41,246 --> 00:04:44,702
And Brokaw says, "Just go.
Don't look back."
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00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:50,292
Now...I'm not a writer,
but maybe there's a skit in that.
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Hey. What?
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So is Donaghy gonna be
in the room again today?
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Ugh. Probably, yeah.
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00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:04,553
Well, you have to say
something to him.
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You guys are not getting
any work done.
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00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:07,010
Really?
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You don't think his idea
of starting with the catchphrases
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00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:11,470
and working backwards
is panning out?
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"Nuts to you, McGullicuty."
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00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:18,400
"Who ordered the wieners?"
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00:05:18,566 --> 00:05:20,773
Beep beep!
Ribby ribby!
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00:05:20,947 --> 00:05:26,412
Actually, Frank wrote a draft
of "Beep beep, ribby ribby."
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Look, you have to say something to Jack soon,
or your writers are going to revolt.
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What do you all
not understand?
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He's our boss.
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Me trying to tell Jack what to do
would be like you trying to boss around--
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Which one of your kids is it
that you're afraid of?
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Kyle.
Kyle.
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So strong.
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Oh, come on!
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That was a jacket.
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That's it, I've gotta talk to her
about her clothes.
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She can't dress like that.
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Yes, she can.
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People like the way she dresses.
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Oh, come on, it's distracting.
It's inappropriate.
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You're inappropriate, you jerk,
with your big stupid face!
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- Come on.
- Liz, listen, listen, listen.
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Look at me.
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Look how bald I am.
Look at my life.
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Please, just give me
this one thing.
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Pete, no, come on!
I'm talking to her.
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Talk to yourself!
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Cha!
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Kenny, my boy.
What's the frequency, Ken?
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Yeah, I need you to grab me some lunch.
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Absolutely.
What can I get for you?
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- I want nachos.
- Yes, sir.
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From Yankee Stadium.
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Yes, sir!
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General testing
for United Nations Bloopers.
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Oh, hey, Cerie.
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Kind of need to talk to you
about something.
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Do you have a second?
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Sure.
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Okay, this is gonna sound really weird,
but, um...you need to wear a bra.
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Oh, no,
I don't actually.
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They kind of just stay up
on their own.
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See? Yeah, okay.
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What I'm saying is,
you need to wear a bra to work
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if you want to be taken seriously
in this business.
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No, but I don't actually want to
work in television.
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Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich
and then design handbags.
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Here's the thing.
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The way that you dress is making some people
around the office uncomfortable.
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Really?
Who?
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Not me!
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I guess it's mostly me
that has the problem with it.
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Oh, because you have, like,
one of those body image things?
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No, it's not that.
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Good, because I was gonna say
you still have a good body.
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Well, thank you,
but this isn't about me.
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Like, how did you dress
before you were married?
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I'm not married, Cerie.
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Oh, for some reason,
I thought you had, like, three kids.
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Nope.
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00:07:39,508 --> 00:07:41,081
Never married,
no kids.
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'Cause sometimes you have, like,
food stains on your shirt and stuff.
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I just assumed that it was kids.
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You know what?
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Forget I mentioned it.
You look great.
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Is it my birthday?
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You have to get Donaghy
out of the room.
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Boy, we as a group
might not smell great.
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00:08:03,155 --> 00:08:04,021
Come on,
he's stifling us.
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00:08:04,198 --> 00:08:07,022
I feel like I just can't
be myself around him.
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00:08:07,197 --> 00:08:11,651
Yeah, Tracy's downstairs right now
rehearsing the best thing we've written all week.
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Beep beep! Ribby ribby!
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All right.
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Ugh.
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All right.
I'll take care of it.
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Thanks, Liz.
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Hey, Mr. Donaghy.
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Sorry I'm late.
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I was at a luncheon for
Ann Coulter's 60th birthday.
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Oh, yeah.
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Listen, it's been really great
having you in the room these last few days--
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Oh, it's been great for me, too.
Being around all this creativity.
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I'll tell you, in the beginning
I thought it was gonna be a bit of a chore honestly,
190
00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:46,811
but now--
Oh, I have an idea for you.
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00:08:46,988 --> 00:08:48,980
Monkey Senate.
We open on the Capitol--
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You can't be in here anymore!
193
00:08:51,327 --> 00:08:51,991
What's that?
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00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,281
It's not working.
You're driving everybody crazy.
195
00:08:54,455 --> 00:09:01,161
And, okay, you can just fire me now,
and I will go back to teaching improv to senior citizens.
196
00:09:01,337 --> 00:09:05,173
Why would I want to fire you?
This is fine.
197
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:11,960
Six Sigma values direct and honest communication
between coworkers, so, uh...
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00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:13,973
Thank you, Liz.
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00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,680
Oh, sure.
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00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,260
I'll just, uh,
head upstairs now.
201
00:09:19,436 --> 00:09:23,310
Okay, well, thank you for
being so understanding.
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00:09:23,486 --> 00:09:26,140
Absolutely.
203
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Oh, no.
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I will not let you down, sir.
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00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:03,391
Go get help, girl.
206
00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:10,651
Hey, Jonathan,
I left a bunch of messages for Jack,
207
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,232
but I haven't heard back.
Do you know if he got them?
208
00:10:12,407 --> 00:10:14,823
Mr. Donaghy's been very busy.
209
00:10:14,998 --> 00:10:17,613
Well, I just--I really need him
to approve this budget.
210
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:19,111
Well, I'm sorry.
211
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:24,203
He's out of the country
till the end of the week.
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00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:29,333
You want to know another key
to success?
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00:10:29,507 --> 00:10:30,792
I do, Mr. Jordan.
214
00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:36,801
Dress every day like you're gonna
get murdered in those clothes.
215
00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:39,130
You did real good the other day
with those nachos,
216
00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:43,220
but I need you to do something
of a different nature.
217
00:10:43,397 --> 00:10:46,562
Would you agree when I say
that a man's freedom only exists
218
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:49,942
when he's free
to pursue his desires?
219
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,561
Yes, I suppose I would.
220
00:10:51,737 --> 00:10:55,903
Which means when the law conflicts
with our desires,
221
00:10:56,076 --> 00:11:00,283
then we must operate
outside the law.
222
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:04,160
You following me?
223
00:11:04,337 --> 00:11:08,623
Otherwise, we would
no longer be free.
224
00:11:10,296 --> 00:11:13,501
Now I got a mission for you.
225
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:14,710
Hey, Liz!
226
00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:17,382
I took your advice.
I'm wearing a bra.
227
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:18,921
That's great, Cerie.
228
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:20,880
Uh, Liz, can I speak
to you for a second?
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00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:23,350
Sure.
230
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,561
What's going on?
231
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,183
Mr. Donaghy is very upset
that you banned him from the writers' room.
232
00:11:27,357 --> 00:11:29,181
He wants you to apologize.
233
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,272
Really?
234
00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:32,653
But when you apologize, you have to act
like it was your idea.
235
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,273
He can't know that I told you.
236
00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:37,482
But he sent you here
to tell me to apologize.
237
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,240
Exactly.
I penciled you in for 3:00.
238
00:11:40,406 --> 00:11:44,372
This conversation never happened.
239
00:11:44,587 --> 00:11:50,371
Jenna, set yourself, please,
for Who Wants to Eat a Dictionary?
240
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,292
Where's Kenneth?
241
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,181
Who is it?
242
00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:10,391
It's Kenneth from
the NBC page program.
243
00:12:10,565 --> 00:12:14,863
I'm here for a pickup
from Qiang Deng.
244
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,110
Hello, gentlemen.
245
00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:20,073
Oh, thank goodness.
Air conditioning.
246
00:12:20,248 --> 00:12:21,572
Ooh, what does
that tattoo mean?
247
00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:23,782
When I get nervous,
I ask a lot of questions.
248
00:12:23,955 --> 00:12:25,661
Do y'all have
a bathroom I could use?
249
00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,533
Y'all have long fingernails.
250
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,871
Now do y'all rent this space,
or do you own it?
251
00:12:30,045 --> 00:12:32,663
Hey, that's
a funny-looking fish.
252
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,923
What is that,
like a grapefruit knife?
253
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,673
Do you have a cell phone?
What's your plan?
254
00:12:37,848 --> 00:12:40,052
This apology thing is interesting.
255
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:44,223
Ugh, even when it's something normal
I hate going up to Jack's office.
256
00:12:44,386 --> 00:12:46,352
I always feel like
I'm entering the Death Star.
257
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,182
I expect to see Stormtroopers.
258
00:12:48,358 --> 00:12:50,270
I tell you,
if Donaghy does this at me,
259
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,392
I will run.
260
00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:53,443
You'll be fine...
Captain Needa.
261
00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:57,152
No, Captain Needa dies.
He dies!
262
00:12:57,316 --> 00:13:00,232
* There's no business
like show business *
263
00:13:00,508 --> 00:13:03,532
* Like no business I know
264
00:13:03,705 --> 00:13:06,953
* Everything about it
is appealing *
265
00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:10,412
* Everything the traffic will allow *
266
00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:13,462
* Nowhere can you get
that special feeling *
267
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:18,252
* Than when you're stealing
that extra bow *
268
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,172
What can I do for you?
269
00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:25,132
I'm on a helicopter
in 15 minutes.
270
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:29,681
Uh, well, sir,
I just wanted to say, um,
271
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,432
I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings
the other day
272
00:13:32,606 --> 00:13:34,692
when I asked you to stay out
of the writers' room.
273
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,100
That's absurd.
Completely unnecessary.
274
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,483
I haven't given it
a second thought.
275
00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:41,780
Okay, good, 'cause, you know, the writers,
they see you as management--
276
00:13:41,948 --> 00:13:44,903
Please, it's water
under the bridge.
277
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:49,581
Stop worrying and just
go on back to work.
278
00:13:51,548 --> 00:13:55,250
Of course, I can understand how you might think
my feelings were hurt.
279
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,713
No one wants to hear
that people don't like you.
280
00:13:57,887 --> 00:13:58,580
What, no?
281
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,673
No, that's not at
all what I was saying before.
282
00:14:00,845 --> 00:14:02,461
I never said that people
don't like you.
283
00:14:02,636 --> 00:14:03,460
That's not true.
284
00:14:03,637 --> 00:14:06,183
So, people do like me?
285
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,342
Yes, people like you.
286
00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:11,392
Do you like me?
287
00:14:11,568 --> 00:14:12,762
Of course.
288
00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:15,933
I like you.
Jack.
289
00:14:16,145 --> 00:14:17,191
You know what
I like about you?
290
00:14:17,355 --> 00:14:19,403
Mmm.
291
00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:21,153
Your eyes.
292
00:14:21,325 --> 00:14:25,361
You have those
black shark's eyes.
293
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,450
You know?
Very intense.
294
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,413
Thank you.
295
00:14:30,576 --> 00:14:33,122
Anyway...
296
00:14:42,886 --> 00:14:44,921
You done good, kid.
297
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:47,842
That thing ever goes missing
and gets into the public water system,
298
00:14:48,015 --> 00:14:49,051
we don't know each other.
299
00:14:49,225 --> 00:14:49,683
Got it.
300
00:14:49,846 --> 00:14:51,430
I got one little errand
for you to run.
301
00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:54,683
Tomorrow's my anniversary,
and I almost forgot about it.
302
00:14:54,855 --> 00:14:57,483
But what did I tell you was the secret
to having a good marriage
303
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,312
and keeping it together,
Kenneth?
304
00:14:59,487 --> 00:15:03,731
Be a good listener, a giver of gifts,
and work that va-jay-jay.
305
00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:05,572
That's my boy!
306
00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:10,320
That's why I want you
to go see my jeweler.
307
00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:15,330
Good morning, Liz.
308
00:15:15,495 --> 00:15:17,291
Oh, hi, Mr. Donaghy.
How are you?
309
00:15:17,455 --> 00:15:18,001
Fine, thank you.
310
00:15:18,165 --> 00:15:22,500
I remember you mentioning what a big fan you are
of the rapper Chamillionaire.
311
00:15:22,678 --> 00:15:24,840
'Cause I was dancing
with Frank?
312
00:15:25,006 --> 00:15:27,971
Oh, yes, yeah.
I love Chamillionaire.
313
00:15:28,137 --> 00:15:31,431
Well, it just so happens that he's performing
this weekend at Webster Hall,
314
00:15:31,595 --> 00:15:35,600
and I got some VIP tickets
and backstage passes.
315
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:37,720
You could take the writers
or a lady friend.
316
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,143
Whatever.
Enjoy yourself.
317
00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:41,853
You deserve it.
318
00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:43,153
Wow. Thank you.
319
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,570
That's very thoughtful.
320
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,571
Well, I think that coworkers should have
good personal relationships.
321
00:15:47,735 --> 00:15:51,451
I know we've had some missteps,
but we've put all that behind us.
322
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:55,330
And I'd like us to be...
friendly.
323
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:58,503
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, so do I.
324
00:15:58,665 --> 00:16:01,543
Wow, I just can't believe
Chamillionaire tickets were still available.
325
00:16:01,715 --> 00:16:04,253
Ah, well.
326
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,421
See ya.
327
00:16:07,596 --> 00:16:11,881
Josh to stage, please,
for Homophobic Hague.
328
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:12,892
What was that about?
329
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,763
Just talking to my "bud,"
Jack Donaghy.
330
00:16:14,936 --> 00:16:15,800
Bud, really?
331
00:16:15,978 --> 00:16:17,600
Yes, he said he wants us
to be friends.
332
00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:19,141
He gave me Chamillionaire tickets.
333
00:16:19,317 --> 00:16:21,063
And he even did this to me.
334
00:16:21,235 --> 00:16:23,732
Wow, look, having Jack on your side
can only make life easier.
335
00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:25,400
It's good for everybody
if he wants to be friends.
336
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,361
I know, but it's so weird.
337
00:16:26,526 --> 00:16:27,652
It's like that scene
where you see the back
338
00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:29,323
of Darth Vader's head
with his helmet off,
339
00:16:29,485 --> 00:16:31,823
and you're like,
"Oh! He's a human being!"
340
00:16:31,997 --> 00:16:33,112
I gotta get some new DVDs.
341
00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:34,410
Did we just go in a circle?
342
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:35,570
Yeah. I was following you.
343
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:36,373
I was following you.
344
00:16:36,536 --> 00:16:37,663
No, I'm going to wardrobe.
345
00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:41,333
Okay, good walk and talk.
346
00:16:42,756 --> 00:16:45,960
Lee, can I check costumes
for the cold open?
347
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,382
That looks fierce.
348
00:16:48,555 --> 00:16:49,250
Hey, Liz.
349
00:16:49,428 --> 00:16:51,973
Cerie, seriously,
take that off.
350
00:16:52,135 --> 00:16:54,223
And you,
stop encouraging her.
351
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,393
You're an enabler.
352
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,353
You need to dress
like you have a job.
353
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:04,021
And parents who raised you
in some kind of shamed-based American religious tradition.
354
00:17:04,195 --> 00:17:06,313
Here.
355
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:08,152
I can make this hot.
356
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,692
Now I get to pick out
what I think you'd look good in.
357
00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:13,860
Oh, I'm not really
a fashion person.
358
00:17:14,038 --> 00:17:15,113
You're wearing this.
359
00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:16,241
Come on, no.
360
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:16,951
I'm serious.
361
00:17:17,127 --> 00:17:18,453
This color would be
amazing on you.
362
00:17:18,626 --> 00:17:22,331
And you're a size four, right?
363
00:17:22,507 --> 00:17:25,873
Well, aren't you sweet?
364
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,363
Hey, guys, what's up?
365
00:17:51,535 --> 00:17:54,491
Ugh! Oh, my God!
366
00:17:56,455 --> 00:17:57,612
What are you wearing?!
367
00:17:57,788 --> 00:17:58,910
You're making me gay.
368
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:03,253
It's a joke, obviously.
I'm wearing this as a joke!
369
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,463
Bunch of comedy writers
don't know a joke, jeez.
370
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:07,170
I just threw up in my mouth.
371
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,463
I said it's a joke!
372
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,181
Work it, Craig! Whoo!
373
00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:21,761
I think I'm having
a heart attack.
374
00:18:21,938 --> 00:18:23,522
Excellent, right here.
Thank you.
375
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:24,983
Oh, pizza!
376
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,892
Thank you, sir.
377
00:18:27,068 --> 00:18:29,650
Hey, Liz, can we eat this out
on the roof gardens?
378
00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:31,063
I don't even know
how to get out there.
379
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,231
I don't think people
are allowed out there.
380
00:18:32,408 --> 00:18:34,610
No, I see Today Show people
eating out there all the time.
381
00:18:34,788 --> 00:18:36,571
Really?
Even Ann Curry?
382
00:18:36,745 --> 00:18:43,833
I'll show you the studio in just a minute,
but first, this is where my writers write.
383
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,542
Don't mind the odor.
384
00:18:46,716 --> 00:18:49,630
But seriously, since Tracy's arrival
the show is up in the key demos.
385
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:54,762
We're driving male viewership,
and we're effectively synergizing backward overflow.
386
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:57,761
Please, Liz,
let us eat outside.
387
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,470
You know what?
I'll ask Jack.
388
00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:00,973
He'll let us eat out there,
right?
389
00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:05,142
He and I have
an important friendship.
390
00:19:05,317 --> 00:19:06,980
Hey, they didn't bring any sodas.
391
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:10,232
I'll call Kenneth.
392
00:19:12,817 --> 00:19:16,492
Seriously,
where is Kenneth?
393
00:19:18,506 --> 00:19:22,282
Happy anniversary,
Mrs. Jordan.
394
00:19:22,456 --> 00:19:26,120
Excuse me, do y'all just have
noodles with butter?
395
00:19:26,296 --> 00:19:29,160
Hey, Jack!
Sorry to interrupt.
396
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,421
Hey, can we eat
our pizza outside?
397
00:19:31,586 --> 00:19:33,463
'Cause those wangs from the Today Show
eat on the roof garden
398
00:19:33,635 --> 00:19:37,133
all the time, and, you know,
since I thought me and you are best buds--boink!
399
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:40,761
Maybe you could do me a solid
and slip me the key to that thing.
400
00:19:40,938 --> 00:19:41,932
This guy's the best.
401
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,143
He got me kick-ass
Chamillionaire tickets.
402
00:19:44,306 --> 00:19:45,471
You guys like Chamillionaire?
403
00:19:45,646 --> 00:19:49,850
Anyway, Jack rocks.
This guy, A-plus.
404
00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:53,063
Excuse me for a moment.
405
00:19:53,237 --> 00:19:55,523
I'm sorry for what's about to
happen right now.
406
00:19:55,698 --> 00:19:56,941
Just know that I don't mean it.
407
00:19:57,115 --> 00:19:58,113
Don't mean what?
408
00:19:58,288 --> 00:20:01,702
What group home did you escape from
that you would dare talk to me
409
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,913
like some plumber's wife
in front of Ron Gordon and Bob Overmeyer?
410
00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:07,243
I don't even know
who those guys are.
411
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:07,912
Oh, really?
412
00:20:08,085 --> 00:20:11,753
Your ignorance was obvious
when you waddled up to me
with your thin-lipped mouth
413
00:20:11,927 --> 00:20:14,841
full of greasy peasant food
and addressed me by my Christian name
414
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,803
in front of the gentlemen
from Fairfield.
415
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:18,630
That's Fairfield,
Connecticut, Lemon.
416
00:20:18,805 --> 00:20:19,673
GE Headquarters.
417
00:20:19,847 --> 00:20:22,930
But how would you know that
with your nigh-40 years of public education
418
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:24,762
and daytime television viewing?
419
00:20:24,935 --> 00:20:27,683
If you ever pull a bush league
stunt like that again,
420
00:20:27,856 --> 00:20:29,681
I'm gonna have you writing
promos for Arena Football
421
00:20:29,856 --> 00:20:33,481
so fast it'll make
your inexplicably small head spin.
422
00:20:33,657 --> 00:20:36,191
Oh, snap.
423
00:20:39,617 --> 00:20:41,610
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
424
00:20:41,788 --> 00:20:43,200
I thought you said
we were friends.
425
00:20:43,365 --> 00:20:44,820
I said we were friendly.
426
00:20:44,997 --> 00:20:46,910
Well, I don't like you anymore.
427
00:20:47,086 --> 00:20:50,290
I don't believe you.
428
00:20:51,008 --> 00:20:54,250
Go easy on the pizza.
429
00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:59,252
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