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A Theological Evaluation Regarding Nadine Lustre’s Case

Sem. John Cenon D. Tulio

I. Introduction
The 23-year-old actress Nadine Lustre has been in hot seat by many commentators in her
response to a reporter when asked if she was already living-in with her one-year boyfriend, James
Reid. As the interview went on, she casually remarked, “If that was true, so what? Di ba, it’s not
new anymore. Come on guys, it’s 2017. Let’s all be open-minded.” Lustre didn’t confirm if the
speculation was true or not but it implicitly made an impact to her audience (Sakurako “Nadine
Lustre’s Cohabitation” n.pag.).
“So what?”, as she said. For Lustre, cohabiting1 is ordinary these days and it’s what people
are doing (ibid.). This response fueled so many reactions even to millennials. Some agreed that
cohabitation isn’t a good idea just because it’s popular and some sided with Lustre, saying that
there is nothing wrong with living together before getting married.
In this paper, the researcher dwells on what the Church teaches regarding the case on
cohabitation. Furthermore, the study presents a theological evaluation vis-à-vis living-in together.

II. Theological Themes and Church Teachings

Cohabitation is popular these days. Many couples nowadays resort to cohabiting rather
than making the commitment in the sacrament of marriage (“Marriage Preparation in the Catholic
Church: Getting It Right” 43). The Church is against with this sinful practice not just for many
reasons but also by the fact that marriages preceded by cohabitation are more likely to end in
divorce (Sheri Stritof, “Cohabitation and Statistics” n.pag.).
In the early days of the Church, cohabiting was very common among the non-Christians
and Romans. This kind of practice was seen as devastating for individuals, families and the society.
Women in those days were treated as objects and means for sexual pleasure. That is why in that
event, the Church already learned Her lesson (“Living Together: Cohabitation and the Church's
Moral Teaching” n.pag.). The Church desires people to have happy, lasting, fruitful, strong

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A situation where "a couple has been living together as husband and wife (having sexual relations) without getting
married." (National Conference of Catholic Bishops Committee for Pastoral Research and Practices, Faithful to
Each Other Forever: A Catholic Handbook of Pastoral Help for Marriage Preparation. Washington, D.C.: U.S.
Catholic Conference, 71).
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marriages, which is why She discourages couples from cohabitating for the reason that it can have
a profoundly damaging impact on relationships.
However, a couple is free to remain ignorant with the Church’s teachings. But if they come
to receive the sacrament of matrimony, they must be willing to conform themselves to what the
Church stance about this sacrament. In this section, the researcher will now present the Church’s
teachings regarding cohabitation.

A. Sexual love ought to be reserved to marriage

Sexual intercourse is a symbol of giving of one’s whole self, and this should be within the
context of marriage. It is the place where real and authentic commitment happens (ibid.). Only in
marriage do one finds God’s blessing upon the act of sexual love, or what is better termed, marital
love. This physical expression of love in marriage is a sacred sign of a husband and wife’s covenant
of love which they share in union with God. This marital love signifies the vows freely exchanged
between each other and thereby reflects the faithful, permanent, exclusive, and self-giving love
they have promised to each other and to God (Saunders 143).
The Church teaches that sexual intercourse has a purpose: to procreate and educate the
child, and that outside marriage it is contrary to its purpose. According to the Catechism of the
Catholic Church, "conjugal love aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one
flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul" (CCC 1643), since the marriage bond is to be a sign of
the love between God and humanity (CCC 1617). Sexual intercourse is meant for a married man
and woman, who have committed themselves to one another in a sacramental matrimonial bond
before and with God. Sex outside of marriage cannot fulfill what God intended or what a couple
truly desires in the deep recesses of their hearts which is happiness and total commitment to one
another. Furthermore, CCC 2353 states:

Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is

gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally
ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it
is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

The Catechism specifically mentions fornication as a sin, and the Church has traditionally
taught that it is a mortal sin. This teaching can be traced in St. Paul’s teaching that fornication is a
sin that can keep a person in inheriting the kingdom of God (NRSV Cor. 6:9).
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The Catholic Church believes that true joy comes from God. In that light, the only way a
sexual relationship can bring such joy is if it is undertaken by a man and woman who have brought
God into it through the sacrament of marriage (Eden “10 1/2 Reasons to be Chaste” n.pag.). Thus,
in the next section, the value of a chaste life must be taken in consideration.

B. The value of a Chaste Life

Chastity simply means abstaining from sex but it entails a proper engaging in this word. It
also means that living chastely is ordering sexual pleasure only within marriage (ibid.,). The
Catechism of the Catholic Church states that:

Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see
in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the
hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expression
of affection that belongs to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity. (CCC
2350)

A couple obtains a healthy marriage through the value of chastity. Through chastity, sexual
appetite is in control rather than being in control of the couple. For this reason, chastity needs to
be developed and appreciated even before marriage (Lowery 15).
Furthermore, CCC describes chastity as the successful integration of sexuality within the
person and thus the inner unity of a human being in his or her bodily and spiritual being (CCC
2337). Thus, the person who developed the value of chastity is a person who is well ordered from
within and is not driven away by the sexual urges (Kansas Bishops “Cohabitation Before
Marriage” n.pag.).

C. Living together before marriage is a scandal to others

In the contemporary period, many are already doing cohabitation. Just because everyone is
doing it makes it right (ibid.). Even if the couples doesn’t have sexual relations while living
together. Their actions give scandal that may be misleading to young children and to those people
whose moral reasoning is immature. The Catechism of the Catholic Church gives a warning:
The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and
integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if
by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense. (CCC 2284)
Scandal makes the traditional moral values less of a concern to many people. Couples who
cohabitate give the impression to the community that such practice is acceptable (Lowery 15).
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D. Married Couple has a serious lifetime commitment

Marriage is more than a civil contract. It is the only place in which a life-long commitment
with one another is established. By saying “I do” during the wedding rite is tantamount in saying
that one is giving all of himself/herself to him/her. Through marriage, the couples seal their love
and commitment through sexual union. Sex, therefore, is not a recreational activity but a total
giving of oneself (USCCB “Married Love and the Gift of Life”).
The Catholic church teaches that marriage is a Christian vocation. It involves a call from
God and a response from two people who promised to build a life-long intimate relationship of
love and life (“The Vocation of Marriage” n.pag.). In Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis writes:

Marriage is a vocation, inasmuch as it is a response to a specific call to experience conjugal

love as an imperfect sign of the love between Christ and the Church. Consequently, the
decision to marry and to have a family ought to be the fruit of a process of vocational
discernment. (72)

The Church teaches that the call to marriage is a call to self-giving love. This call is
deepened into conviction and commitment. Couples obtaining the sacrament of marriage must be
ready to learn what their vocation means and must acquire the virtues needed for a happy and holy
marriage. The vocation is a call to holiness and service with one another.

III. Theological Evaluation

In this section, the researcher evaluates Nadine Lustre’s issue regarding cohabiting with
her boyfriend, James Reid, and contextualize it in the Church’s teachings.

A. Sexual love ought to be reserved to marriage

The Church doesn’t hate sex; it is actually a good thing. But Church have rules regarding
sex. Pre-marital sex is a mortal sin. It is selfish, unloving, use of another human being and misuse
of one’s sexuality (Lowery 15). Although no facts and reports of Nadine and James of having an
act of sexual affair. But presumably, if they done it. They committed a sin.
The Bible also upholds that sex before marriage is wrong. St. Paul speaks about fornication
in Scripture as morally wrong. One cannot also inherit the kingdom of God when they commit
fornication.
Thus, Nadine and James are called to master their sexual passion in preparation for their
married state. Only when sexual passion is mastered can make a mature decision about entering
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into the marriage life. With this kind of attitude, their marriage will likely achieve stability and
happiness (Lowery 16).
It is suggested that Nadine and James should not cohabitate to stop the temptation of an
uncontrolled sexual desire. Sex should be saved for marriage where the deepest intimacy is
supposed to be (17).

B. The value of a chaste life

The Church encourages the couple to live chastely before marriage. They should see in this
time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, a preparation in fidelity, and the hope of receiving
one another from God” (CCC 2350). Some couples are not allowed to separate, for example, those
with children. But in the case of Nadine Lustre and James Reid it seems they have no reasons not
to separate and follow the directive of the Church, presuming they are cohabitating.
Nadine and James are called to live a chaste life in preparation for married life. It makes
them aware that sex is not for sexual gratification but involves a whole self-giving to the person.

C. Living together before marriage is a scandal to others

Nadine Lustre is regarded as a matinee idol these days. She has already sell many albums
and even had her own teleserye which was aired on Primetime Philippine TV. Hence, her name is
very famous in in the Philippines. Many youngsters look up to her and because of popularity it
paved the way for admirers to love her more. Thus, accumulating a great number of supporters
and fans.
However, Lustre bluntly defended how “normal” to cohabitate these days because it’s the
norm people doing. “Be open-minded” as she stated made further impact on her audience of varied
ages.
Being “open-minded” can numb one’s capacity to reason. What is trendy may be good in
the eyes of the youth. The youth lacks the wise discernment in understanding what is morally
acceptable and what is not. As the bishops of Kansas points out, “As society no longer adheres to
traditional moral values and norms, scandal becomes less and less a concern to many people” (“A
Better Way” 9).
If Nadine Lustre and James Reid are really cohabitating, they are living contrary to the
Church’s teaching on marriage and sexual love by acting as if they are married when they are not.
Thus, there is the risk of scandalizing the moral norms of the community.
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D. Married Couple has a serious lifetime commitment

Trial marriage should never be use as mean to achieve the end which is marriage. Marriage
should not be superficial but a genuine experience of willingness to sacrifice oneself to the other.
In the case of Nadine and James, it seems that they want to try out if they would like to get
married. In other words, they want to enjoy the benefits of marriage without the commitments.
This is a selfish act wherein love is regarded to be objectified and tested (Buber 78). Couple make
a commitment when they get married to stay together during good and bad times. However, in
Lustre’s case, living together does not teach them about commitments because it lack the
foundation of love. Thus, in cohabitation, it will teach someone to “get out” in a relationship easier.

IV. Conclusion/Recommendation
In this case, if Nadine and James are planning to get married they need to believe what the
Church teaches. It is recommended that pastoral ministers encourage the couple to separate so that
they can value the gift of chastity. The priest should make sure to point out the good reasons not
to cohabit and catechize them with the teachings of the Church. Thus this event is an opportunity
of evangelization and catechesis. To help couple understand the vision of Catholic marriage.
If Nadine and James want to marry, the goal of marriage preparation is to create an
awareness of the essential characteristics of Christian marriage which is chastity, fidelity and the
importance of sacramental grace that unites the couple to the love of Christ (“Preparation for the
Sacrament of Marriage” 45). Additionally, Nadine and James, if ever they succumb to
cohabitation, are encouraged to reflect and rethink on the different circumstances of their
relationship, especially its moral and spiritual dimensions.
The Church is a vanguard of her teachings and doctrines. She has to assert her stand
especially on matters of faith and morals, but in doing so, she remains to be a living sacrament of
the enduring mercy of God. She deals with every person – saints and sinners alike – with so much
care and respect. She certainly would not condemn the sinner, rather, she provides avenues for
conversion and renewal of heart and mind . . .hence, the Church supports the future endeavors of
any couple and provides assistance so that they can live the vocation of a Christian marriage
(“Marriage Preparation and Cohabiting Couples” np.).
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Works Cited

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[

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Lowery, Mark. Chastity Before Marriage: A Fresh Perspective. California. The Catholic Faith,
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“Marriage Preparation in the Catholic Church: Getting It Right.”
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Saunders, William. Pre-marital Sex: Lessons from Reason, Scripture.

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