CHANGE YOUR HABITS, CHANGE YOUR

LIFE

30 S MALL C HANGES Y OU C AN M AKE R IGHT N OW T HAT T AKE 5

M INUTES OR L ESS AND L IVE THE L IFE Y OU W ANT

By

S COTT P ILES

Copyright © 2016
 Table of Contents
Legal Notes
Read This First
Introduction
Part I
Pillars of Habit Changing
How Habits Form
Laying a Strong Foundation for Habit Change
Part II
Understanding the Habit Routine that dictates your level of happiness
How Triggers Work
Trying Different Habit Routines
What Works For You and What Doesn’t
Using Habit Reminders
Steps To Changing Your Bad Habits
Learn To Forgive Yourself
Identifying Underlying Causes
Dealing With The Real Problems
Writing Down Goals
Having a Buddy
Setting Out A Time Scale
Allowing Yourself To Make Mistakes
Part III
30 Small Changes You Can Make To Improve Your Life
Productivity Changes
Relationships
Finances
 Organization
Spirituality and Mental Well-Being
Health and Physical Fitness
Leisure
Conclusion
Can I Ask A Favour?
About The Author
 LEGAL NOTES
Copyright 2016 – All Rights Reserved – Scott Piles
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this publication may be reproduced or
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without express written, dated, and signed permission from the author.

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bonuses, are meant to serve as a comprehensive collection of time-tested and
proven strategies that the author of this book has applied to earn extra income.
Summaries, strategies, tips and tricks are only recommendations by the author,
and reading this book does not guarantee that one’s results will exactly mirror
the author’s own results. The author of this book has made all reasonable efforts
to provide current and accurate information for the readers of this book. The
author will not be held liable for any unintentional errors or omissions that may
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The material in this book may include information, products, or services by third
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Publication of such Third Party Material is simply a recommendation and
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Great effort has been exerted to safeguard the accuracy of this writing. Opinions
expressed in this book have been formulated as a result of both personal
experience, as well as the experiences of others.
 READ THIS FIRST
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 INTRODUCTION
You may not be aware of it, but there are recognized patterns that lead to lack of
self-esteem. Habits become a part of your life but habits can be changed. This
book covers the different ways in which you can easily change habits in order to
change the course of your life. Everything that we do in life is as a result of what
we have been taught, what we have experienced and what we expect from life.
However, with all of these presuppositions or prerequisites, it’s hardly surprising
that people are dissatisfied with what they get back from life.

The habits that are introduced in this book are deliberately simplified, so that
anyone can achieve them. I have worked with people who have problems for a
very long time and these steps have succeeded in making their lives more
rewarding. You have a choice in the kind of life you experience and the power of
your thoughts and actions is amazing. By incorporating these 30 small life
changes into your life – and they only take five minutes to try out – your life can
be considerably improved.

It is hoped that readers will be able to go forward in their lives with the
knowledge given within the pages of this book and that they will find that the
results are positive. If some of them seem a little hard, don’t worry. Changes
take a little while to become automatic, but all of your bad habits have now
become automatic. Good habits can also become the norm, so that your attitude
toward life changes, as well as your attitude toward others.

Step through the pages and feel your life improve. It can and it will if you decide
to take each of the steps given in this book a little of your attention. Life is
waiting for you. It won’t wait forever. With each passing day of discontent, your
road becomes shorter. By taking action now, you can improve your life and find
that the path that lies ahead is one that will be a happier place than the place you
find yourself in right now. If you are looking to improve your life, take hold of
the power and learn to use it to your benefit. This book shows you how.
 PART I
PILLARS OF HABIT CHANGING

In this part of the book, we take a close look at habits and why they form. When
you develop a habit, this is usually because of a need. We don’t notice this
happening because we act automatically. However, the following small changes
will help you to be more aware of those habits that are making your life
unhappy, helping you to change and thus find your share of happiness.
 HOW HABITS FORM

You may not be aware of it but every time you do something, it’s because you
have learned it. Bad habits are learned just as good habits are. If you can manage
to monitor your habits, you will instantly see which are detrimental. If you aim
toward improving those habits or replacing them with positive habits, you have a
road toward success. Many people go through their lives being totally unaware
that they can take control of their lives. They have no real aims. They don’t
know where they are heading, and consequently cannot reach goals that are
undefined. When you manage your goals and make yourself accountable for
reaching them, you are more likely to find life changes. You are accountable for
your own actions and sometimes, it’s easier to blame circumstance or to blame
other people for them than to take the bull by the horn and actually do something
about those bad habits. Thus, the pillars of habit changing are:

Taking a look at your bad habits and recognizing them

Scheduling change
Becoming accountable for your own actions

Take a look at your life and see which actions you take that are negative. There
will be a number of actions that you incorporate into your life that you won’t
instantly recognize as being negative though if you examine the way that your
days pass, you may see a pattern that you did not think was there. For example,
do you eat to over-compensate for emotional problems? Do you miss your
meals? Do you find excuses not to talk about emotional problems? There can be
all kinds of barriers to happiness and these are caused – not by outside stimuli –
but by your own day to day actions. By keeping track of these, you are able to
use this mindfulness to incorporate the life changes that are listed in the chapter
giving the 30 changes promised by the title of this book.

It’s very important to keep a diary of events in your life as this shows you that
pattern you need to change. When you are able to track your habits, you are also
able to see the evolution of those habits and change the direction in which your
life is going. Mindfulness means being aware of what is happening in your life.
If you take the premise that what is past is gone and cannot be changed, but
diary events for the future, you are able to manipulate your approach to the
future and lay out goals that you are much more likely to adhere to. Having it
down on paper or even having it logged into the latest app helps you to be aware
of where it is that you want to go in your life.

Life coaches suggest various apps because these are tailored to the needs of
those seeking change. If you do employ one of the apps suggested – and only
you can decide upon which is preferable in your case – you make yourself
accountable. You have an “eyes on” view of your life and can watch your
progress and enjoy the positive changes that you incorporate into your life. You
make this the focal point of each day and give yourself purpose for achieving
small changes that really do make you into a different person.

Life is filled with stepping stones. If you live a life where you cannot even see
these stepping stones, you will stumble. The idea of this system of self-
improvement is that you become more aware of your own bad habits – learn to
swap them for good habits – and eventually find that this shift makes your life an
improved place to be. It cannot fail unless you refuse to look inwardly. If you
want your life to improve and to be able to live the life you always dreamed of,
it’s worth the initial effort of putting good habits and goals into place. The buck
rests with you. You need to understand that every facet of your life is affected by
the habits that you adopt.

From childhood, people develop habits because of their interaction with other
people. Those who are constantly told they are not good enough start to believe
this and act in a way that actually shows their belief in this negativity. However,
someone with the same background who becomes accountable and is willing to
change can find that the opposite occurs. They have confidence. They are able to
show – against all odds – the course of their lives is not going to be dictated by
others but that it will be dictated by their own actions, their own recognition of
personal behavior and keeping to a calendar or behavior that feeds positivity.
The aim of the coaching in this book is to show you the difference.
 LAYING A STRONG FOUNDATION FOR HABIT CHANGE

There are several things that you need to bear in mind when it comes to habits.
Some habits are changeable and have been learned over a period of time, based
on interaction with others, experience within the past and lifestyle. Others are
addictions. You need to be able to recognize the difference. Let’s examine it in
simple terms. I brush my hair every day but I am not addicted to brushing my
hair. It is a habit that I have developed because it has a positive consequence.
My hair looks great and I feel presentable. Now, let’s look at an addiction.
Smoking and drinking are the most common addictions but they are not the only
ones. If you crave food to make yourself feel better about who you are, then this
could also be classed as an addiction. If there is a level of craving, then it’s quite
possible that this is a habit that you have learned but one which restricts your
life. Without that crutch, you feel like you are not in control when in fact the
opposite is the case. The addictive action is controlling you.

In order to change your behavior, you have to acknowledge the behavior that is
negative. I know, for instance, that I tend to overeat if I am not mindful of my
eating habits. In the past, I could recognize this trait in many of the people who
consulted me. Instead of facing difficult situations with partners or emotional
turmoil, people turned to another kind of behavior because it gave temporary
relief. The point that you need to gain from this knowledge is that all addictive
behavior gives only temporary relief but does not tackle the underlying
problems that you may have. I have heard people use the following phrases to
describe habits that are addictive habits:

That cigarette really took the edge off my nerves

I need a cigarette before I can deal with this problem
I need a glass of wine to help me to relax a bit
I need a bar of chocolate to make me feel better
There are a whole load of other addictive actions that you may be taking in your
life and you may be totally unaware of them. That’s why you need to examine
your everyday activities to find out which behaviors are addictive or may
encompass craving of some sort and which are simply negative habits picked up
because they help to camouflage things that you struggle to deal with.

To lay a strong foundation for habit change, you need to understand those habits.

I am not confident – List why you feel this to be the case.

I can’t make my mind up – This is a common trait but physiologically, there is
no reason for it. Examine it and work out what it is that stops you from being
able to make your mind up. There will be an underlying lack of confidence. Find
out where it started and look at what activities you do to avoid having to make
decisions.
I can’t help it – This is a cop out. Everyone can help themselves. If you are
someone who tells yourself that you cannot help it, then you need to switch your
mindset. We can all help it. We all have control over what we can and cannot do
in life. The only restriction is your belief that you are incapable of doing
something. Thus, this is a starting point and a strong foundation upon which to
place emphasis in order to change.

You then have the people who blame circumstance and other people for the
unhappiness in their lives. If you are someone who looks in a retrospective way
at events that have happened in your life, the people who form part of your bad
memories are only in control of your actions if you allow them to be. When push
comes to shove, you are in charge of your destiny. The road ahead can never be
seen clearly if you are always looking backward. Thus, incorporating
mindfulness philosophy into your life will help you to stop this habit and is
included in our life changes section of the book.

A strong foundation is formed if you are able to look at the patterns of your life
honestly and sitting down to do this will help you to see where improvement is
needed. It will also help you to see the difference between bad habits and
addictions. In part two, we examine how you take each of your bad habits and
examine them, find triggers and change them and take control of your life.
 PART II
UNDERSTANDING THE HABIT ROUTINE THAT DICTATES YOUR
LEVEL OF HAPPINESS
 HOW TRIGGERS WORK

The reason that you bought this book is because you want to improve your life.
We have already examined the fact that habits change your level of happiness
and how sometimes human beings hide behind habits, rather than face things
that are difficult to deal with. In the case of Katy, she found that she ate a lot to
compensate for the fact that she had been left alone. She had very little
confidence and didn’t like herself very much at all. In fact, her lifestyle showed
her lack of respect for herself. Slow to get up in the morning and face another
day, she became lazy in her habits and dropped many of the positive habits that
others take for granted. For instance, she failed to clean her teeth in the morning.
She didn’t brush her hair and sometimes she didn’t even get dressed. Her life
was sinking into an abyss from which she saw very little chance of escape.

Although your habits may not be that much out of control, you have to be aware
that people’s bad habits are usually triggered by something. In Katy’s case, her
lack of respect for herself meant that she felt justified in neglecting basic needs.
What she needed to see was what actually triggered all of these bad habits.
Being discarded in a relationship was the catalyst. If someone she believed to
have loved her could discard her so easily, she surmised that her worth was
diminished. So, in Katy’s case, her relationship with herself was battered to such
an extent that she did not feel worthy of having any kind of lifestyle that gave
her happiness. The triggers that we came to recognize were these:

Rejection by her parents – She didn’t live up to their expectations

Rejection in school by her peers – she was overweight
Rejection by her loved one – She had her lack of value reinforced
by rejection in love
One can see quite a logical pattern emerging. Now try to work out what your
triggers are. Why do you perform the bad habits that you have? You need to
understand the triggers because this helps you to take better control of your life.
When any such trigger presents itself, you are then able to tackle your approach
to that trigger so that you can adjust your reaction. By association, triggers bring
on certain activities or thoughts but what if you could manipulate your response
to those triggers? By keeping goals in mind and working toward happiness, you
are able to instantly see when those triggers present themselves and replace your
response with a positive response. It won’t happen overnight, but if you follow
the changes in the last chapter of this book, you will be able to manage your
responses and this will change your life. Katy was taught how to deal with
negative feedback from other people by changing the way in which this feedback
affected her. It was a very gradual process but she learned to observe, to listen
and to process the information and step beyond it, rather than allowing that
negative feedback to dictate who she was.
 TRYING DIFFERENT HABIT ROUTINES

We will show you how to do this effectively using your app or a diary system in
the part of the book that deals with the 30 changes. However, we feel that you
need to know a little more about how you change habits. Habits are learned
behaviors. Thus, if you learn that you need to get up at a certain time of day, you
usually do that because you know that it is necessary. You may not bother with
breakfast, although this is a great habit because it fuels you for the morning.
Thus, perhaps you can adapt a new routine by setting the alarm clock a little
earlier to give you time to sit down and eat a breakfast. Over a period of time,
the habit is adopted and the reason you use an app is to set yourself small goals.

Perhaps you find that you drink too much coffee and not enough water. Believe
it or not, drinking water can help your body in so many ways and making the
excuse that coffee has water in it doesn’t cut it. Pure water helps to keep your
body running correctly. Replace some of those coffees with water. The only
reason I use this as an example is to demonstrate that when you know your bad
habits, you can adjust them slightly and introduce healthier habits. When you are
drinking water – you are not drinking coffee. When you are practicing deep
breathing, you are not showing anger toward someone, but are merely allowing
your thoughts time to process whatever triggered the anger.

When you know what your bad habits are, introducing different habits becomes
easier. You can track your progress. Perhaps if you don’t exercise enough, you
can set a plan to walk an extra block or take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Every small introduction of a new habit helps you to aim toward becoming
happier and more accomplished.

Do you always catch the same train home after work every day? Routines can
often stifle any kind of creativity. Introduce a new habit. Take a later train and in
the meantime, go through the park after work and sit and enjoy nature. If you
spend your whole day rushing around, why spend those last minutes of your
working day worried about whether you get to the station on time? Changing
habits is easier than you may imagine. If you are a person who criticizes others,
try introversion. Try thinking instead of reacting. Mindfulness teaches you how
to do this and it’s very useful for those with a short fuse. You learn to observe
without judgment and the serenity that you feel after this habit is incorporated
into your life makes it worthwhile.
 WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND WHAT DOESN’T

It is vital to remember that you are an individual. If someone suggests an activity

to improve your life and it really doesn’t suit you, that isn’t a failure. It simply
means that you need to work out the activities and habits that do suit you. Katy
was helped to overcome her self-esteem issues and found that introducing habits
that reinforced her value made her change her view toward herself. For example,
volunteerism on a simple basis helped her to move toward liking herself. It was a
positive move toward happiness though if you find that any of your decisions
don’t work for you, re-think them. Don’t see it as another failure because it’s
merely a question of elimination and the positive fact is that you now know that
new habit isn’t one that helps you. Thus, you have learned something from it and
when you learn, this cannot be considered as negative.

Introducing a new habit doesn’t have to be difficult. For example, if you smoke
and know that this is harming you, cutting back isn’t a bad idea. It is an
addiction if you really cannot stop, but that doesn’t mean you have to smell like
an old ashtray! Try smoking outdoors instead of in your home. That means
having to make the effort to get up and go to have a cigarette. You may find that
nicotine replacement will work for you. It certainly does help some people. You
may also find that if you examine your smoking habit, you will find that 8 out of
10 of the cigarettes that you smoke are barely noticed or enjoyed. Put a little
more emphasis on enjoyment and smoke less, making sure that those cigarettes
you consider as essential are a positive experience rather than a nasty habit.
 USING HABIT REMINDERS

Your app helps you to stay on track. Habit reminders are little hints that you can
see without much effort but that reinforce the good habits that you are
incorporating into your life. For example, if you are not walking enough, give
yourself a small goal and make sure that you reach it. Having a gadget that
counts your steps helps and is a constant reminder of your effort. If you are
trying to avoid snacking, have a reminder on the fridge door, but make it positive
and uplifting rather than critical and negative. The habits that you have formed
over the course of your life have taken a lot of time to build up. Don’t expect
them to change overnight, but habit reminders help you to keep to your goals.

In an anger management class, one particular student had a very short fuse.
Instead of thinking, he retorted and it was his attitude that alienated people
around him. Setting up an alarm app on his tablet helped him to get this under
control. All the reminder said was “Breathe!” and he learned to adapt a new deep
breathing method that helped him to keep his temper in check. The habit
reminders help you to see where you are heading. In the case of a weight loss
client, she pasted a photograph of herself onto a magnet and placed this on the
fridge to prove to herself that it was possible for her to look stunning. The photo
had been taken before she started to binge eat, but it was sufficient a reminder to
her for her to keep her new habits on track. Instead of filling the fridge with
foods which added to her weight, she changed over to snacks that were tasty and
healthy.

The reminders also help you when triggers present themselves. For example, if
you find that you are becoming a couch potato, the trigger will usually be
programs on the TV that you enjoy. However, chances are that you have let
things slip and that the TV is on even when the programs are of little interest.
Use a reminder beside the television to tell you that when programs are not
interesting, you need to replace that activity with something more positive and
productive. A particularly unhappy client who was achieving very little in his
life did this and gradually incorporated small tasks to replace the TV watching.
The eventual goal was to have a more organized life. By taking on very small
and manageable tasks, he was able to work toward that goal. The reminder by
the television doesn’t have to be anything too overt that may embarrass you. In
his case, he used a small model of an elephant, using the saying that “An
elephant never forgets” and he found that this was sufficient to remind him to
switch off the TV when the programs were not interesting.

Whatever you need to remind you, incorporate it into your life and make positive
steps toward achieving everything you ever wanted to achieve. It is within your
reach. It takes time to achieve it, but all of the small steps you take today become
huge strides in the future that take you in the direction you need to be heading in.
Remember that people who achieve their dreams usually know what those
dreams are and will use the straight route in order to achieve them. People with
no idea about what makes them happy don’t have such a straight route. Thus,
knowing your bad habits and learning to diary them and change them for good
habits will set you in the right direction.
 STEPS TO CHANGING YOUR BAD HABITS

LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

When you start out in life, you don’t have as many restrictions as you do as an
adult. Your life is dictated by routines that surround you. Your habits act in
much the same way. You may be accustomed to getting up at a certain time, and
many of the things you do are done automatically without even thinking about it.
The problem you have when you decide to change habits is that you are fighting
automatic thoughts that your mind has set in place as being standards that are
applicable to your life. ONLY YOU can change that, but you need to know that
changing something that is already in automatic mode isn’t that easy. For
example, when someone loses a partner, it isn’t uncommon for them to make a
cup of coffee for that partner by accident, merely because the habit has been
learned.

You can be gentle with yourself when changing habits. Try to see slips in your
behavior as being something you can fix, rather than something that negatively
impacts who you are. We are taught in today’s society to become heroes. We are
taught to achieve and the TV and media shows us all the time that failure is a
bad thing. As far as changing habits is concerned, it merely shows us what works
and what does not. If you use what would otherwise be described as “failures” as
lessons, instead of becoming negative, they become positive reinforcement that
certain changes are not suited to you. That’s all it means. This, in turn, helps you
to find other habits which do work, so don’t be tough on yourself for being
human.
 IDENTIFYING UNDERLYING CAUSES

There are always reasons we do the things that we do. I clean my shoes because
I like my presentation to be good and want my shoes to last for a longer time. I
actually detest seeing dirty shoes and, in my mind, believe that the shine on your
shoes shows a certain care for self. All habits come because of an underlying
cause. People bathe because it makes them smell better. People wash the dishes
because they are taught that germs come from unwashed dishes and that these
can affect the health of people in the home. People change their bedclothes
because they believe that cleanliness helps to keep family members healthy.
There is always a cause for habits. Bad habits are no different. The boy who
bites his nails does so because of nervousness. He is unable to express himself
adequately and bites his nails because it helps him to relieve his inner turmoil.
The person who drinks may drink socially and may not have a problem, although
he who hides behind drinking to obliterate problems does have a problem
because rather than tackling the underlying cause, they are obscuring the
problem and this has no real and lasting positive effect because when the last
drop has been drunk, the problem is still there.

What you need to do is determine what the cause of your habit is. That means
self-examination. I once asked someone who needed help and guidance to look
at the problems in her life. At first, she put these aside and said that her problem
was drinking. It turned out that her problem was not drinking at all. Her problem
was lack of bravery. She didn’t have the courage to make new relationships and
used alcohol to try to mask this. When we tackled her lack of confidence instead
of her drinking problem, the drinking problem went away.

Write down the things that cause you to incorporate unhealthy habits into your
life. Some of these may be as follows:

Overreacting
Being a perfectionist
 Having high expectations of others
Having low self-esteem
Being afraid of failure

When you know what the underlying cause is, it makes it a lot easier to deal with
problems and to replace bad habits with positive ones. For example, meditation
helped those who were afraid of failure and who had high expectations of others.
This slowing down and taking stock of life enabled them to look at life in a
different way which was not so judgmental. Low self-esteem was tackled by
introducing positive habits which helped the esteem level to rise. High
expectations of others was dealt with by learning about empathy and
incorporating this into the overall viewpoint of life.

The point being made is that you need to recognize why you have incorporated
bad habits into your life because the cause helps you to see quite logically ways
in which you can change your life. A man who didn’t eat lunch each day but
who chose to grab a snack always blamed time for his lack of respect for his
body. “I don’t have time to eat at lunchtime” was always his excuse, although
others within his office did find the time to eat. His underlying problem was lack
of time management skills and once he was able to employ these and replace bad
work habits with good ones, he also found that it was not uncommon for him to
eat in a fancy restaurant at lunchtime and take his time enjoying his favorite
foods, or simply walk to the park and enjoy a picnic style lunch that gave him a
break from the office environment. Once you find the cause of your bad habits,
you can tackle that cause and be sure of all of the changes you make leading you
toward being a happier person. Make a list of the bad habits and causes. The
examples below will give you a clue as to how to do this:

I sit down too much and do not exercise – Cause: I don’t actually like exercise.

Admitting the true cause isn’t that hard. In the above case, the client was able to
find an exercise he considered to be pleasurable and thus changed the bad habit.
He enjoyed dance and incorporating a dance routine into his day, he was able to
get the exercise he needed.

I am not organized – Cause: I have let everything slip and the job has become
too hard to tackle

In this case scenario, the problem is huge and thus avoided. Breaking the
problem into small goals enabled this client to sort out his home and his office
and become more organized. By breaking the task into really small and
manageable changes, he was able to gradually put his life back into order and
gained promotion as a result.

Once you know what the cause is, you are able to look at different alternatives
that will help you to overcome the cause. It’s almost like stepping across muddy
water when you don’t know why you do things. As soon as you do know, you
are able to set up a network of stepping stones to take your life forward to the
place where you really think you would like to be. That’s when progress is
made. You may take some tumbles along the way, but all of these should be
used as learning material to enrich who you are rather than in a derogatory
fashion which diminishes who you are.
 DEALING WITH THE REAL PROBLEMS

The problems that we avoid may seem difficult. Perhaps you feel rejection and
have things you want to say to your partner, but are loathe to do so because you
don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings. Perhaps you need to face emotional
turmoil but avoid it by doing things that make you feel good, such as binge
eating. We tend to cover up the emotions that we don’t want to deal with and if
you have unresolved issues, you need to face them, no matter how
uncomfortable they may seem. If you can work out what the issue is and
concentrate on how you can resolve it in a satisfactory manner, it’s a lot more
productive than letting it fester. Jennifer wanted to go back to work though knew
that her husband would have a problem with that. A controller by nature, he
wanted to be the only person bringing in a wage and saw it as a personal slur that
his wife should have to go out to work. Instead, she had stayed at home and had
gradually become a couch potato. She didn’t want to sit in front of the TV and
eat snacks, but it was the only way at the time of compensating for the fact that
she could not do what she wanted to do.

Tackled in a different manner, Jennifer found that voluntary work would give
her the social contact that she needed and meet the needs of her husband. When
she broached the subject, she had a plan in mind which would be acceptable to
her husband. She would be working but this would not interfere with her
household duties and she explained that she was more likely to be in a better
humor if she was socializing during the day. Since there was no question about
financial need, her husband accepted her idea. There are always ways to tackle
problems such as this. If, at the end of the day, Jennifer’s husband had totally
refused her the right to work, she could have chosen to leave him and to start
over in a happier lifestyle. It’s really a question of what compromises can be
made and if no compromise can be reached, finding an alternative to deal with
the problem. In Jennifer’s case, her self-esteem level rose enormously and she
found what it was that she needed in her life. She needed social contact and a
purpose to her life, other than simply being a housewife.
Try to find some time to sit on your own to contemplate what is wrong in your
life and what you can do to address it, rather than camouflaging the problem
with habits that do not benefit you. If you find that you cannot cope with the
feelings on your own, seek help. In the case of bereavement, often people turn to
bereavement counsellors who can help to bring things back into perspective. In
the case of over compensating in an unhealthy way for a lifestyle which is
unsatisfactory, enlist the help of a counsellor or find people of positive mindset
who can partner up with you and help you through that difficult patch. Drinking
your problems away isn’t an option if you want to improve your life. The
underlying reasons need to be written down and then worked on, so that there is
no need to drink. Solutions are much easier to find when you understand the
underlying problem.
 WRITING DOWN GOALS

Psychologists have long since recognized that writing things down reinforces
them and that you are much more likely to reach goals that are recorded in some
way, whether this is in writing or on your goal making app. There’s a very good
exercise that you can do to find out what your goals are. Close your eyes and
make sure that you are seated in an area where you are not interrupted by noise.
Think of something that makes you very happy. You may have to dig into
childhood memories or even take substance from ambitions, but visualize
yourself enjoying life and enjoying doing something you always wanted to do.
When you use visualization, try to see the whole picture. For example, if you are
thinking of a childhood memory, see yourself within that visualization and see
what you were doing and feel the emotions that went along with that very happy
situation. The reason that you do this is to replace negative thought with the
positive reinforcement that you are capable of feeling all of these positive things.

Now, take your journal and write down a few goals. Where people come unstuck
is by setting their sights too high. For example, if you have been sluggish for the
past ten years and have let your body go by eating the wrong foods and not
taking the right amount of exercise, you are hardly likely to become an overnight
athlete. Set small goals that you are likely to be able to achieve. Remember to
treat them like stepping stones in the river of life. Each stepping stone brings you
closer to what it is that you want to achieve.

For example, if you have a lack of self-esteem, it may be caused by your past
relationships with people, but there’s nothing to stop you from building up your
esteem yourself, so that positive experiences eventually take over from the
negative. For example, you may see yourself as worthless. Thus, give yourself a
goal that gives you worth. Some goals that are useful in a case scenario such as
this are:

Do a good deed with no expectation of return

 Treat your body to some kind of delight that makes you feel good
Join in with a class that covers things you enjoy such as art
Do something nice for yourself

All of these activities can help you to build self-esteem and can replace negative
thoughts that you may have toward yourself. It doesn’t matter how small the task
is, the goal should be set and adhered to. It could be something as simple as
making the next door neighbor a cake or mending their fence, but if you do
things for others, remember you are doing it for yourself and should not expect
any praise from anyone as payment for doing that task. This level of humility is
important. It’s the fact that you did the task that helps you to achieve the goal,
rather than the emotional overload of expectations. Let me try and explain that in
a clearer manner. If a parent decides to pay a lot of money for his/her child’s
education, then that’s the parent’s choice. If the parent then pushes the child and
makes the child’s life unhappy because the child does not respond well to that
gesture, it would be wrong for the parent to make the child feel unworthy. The
giving should be given without strings. Thus, mending your neighbor’s fence is
done simply as a good gesture in a voluntary manner. Your neighbor may thank
you or may say nothing at all, but the goal isn’t to receive praise. It is to do what
you set out to do and the reward is in knowing that you reached the goal.

Too many people put stock in other people’s opinions. If you are among those
who are constantly seeking approval, chances are that while you think in this
way, you will always be disappointed because people don’t always respond in
the manner you expect. Be mindful of your own life. Be mindful that your
actions please YOU and be satisfied that your goals are reached without seeking
the approval of others. When you manage to do that, you build your self-esteem
and you also take away the negative element of helping others who do not
appreciate you for who you are.
 HAVING A BUDDY

Setting goals with a close friend helps you considerably. If you have self-esteem
issues and fail in your goals, you may find this makes you even more negative.
However, people with low self-esteem have the added impetus of not wanting to
let a friend down when they address goals together. Using this premise, John
was able to run a marathon after a period of inactivity. He knew that his body
needed exercise, though could never find the incentive. When he got together
with a buddy, he found that he did what he needed to do because he didn’t want
to let his buddy down. Your buddy may need you every bit as much as you need
him/her, but buddies reinforce your goals and can help you by working toward
similar goals themselves and using this teamwork to help.

In the weight watching game, many group efforts team people up so that the
team is what gives members the incentive to achieve. In a similar way, Alcohols
Anonymous team members up with a sponsor, and that person helps the member
to keep to the no alcohol life. The buddy system has always worked well and
will help you considerably to achieve your goals. Choose someone you trust
implicitly and who can empathize with your problems.
 SETTING OUT A TIME SCALE

Don’t expect miracles to happen overnight. They rarely do. It takes a while to
incorporate a new habit into your life. In fact, although you may think you can
do it in as little as a month, researchers found that it takes at least 3 months for
new habits to become automatic. Thus, you need to get yourself into the state of
mind that accepts that changes take time. It really depends upon what habits you
are trying to change. For example, a no smoking regime with patches is worked
over a three month period, while you may be able to make dietary changes fairly
rapidly and succeed.
 ALLOWING YOURSELF TO MAKE MISTAKES

Only a perfectionist would expect a whole new lifestyle to happen without

pauses or lapses back into bad habits. Remember that habits may have been
learned over a period of years so don’t be too hard on yourself when you make a
mistake. Recognize the mistake. Diary it and see how long you can go before
you make the next one. However, do not feel remorse and failure. Once you see
yourself as a failure, you reinforce self-esteem issues and that’s not what it’s all
about. Praise yourself for the effort and start again. No one is perfect and going
forward in a positive way will give you better results than simply getting angry
with yourself and feeling negative thoughts.
 PART III
30 SMALL CHANGES YOU CAN MAKE TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

In this section of the book, we are assuming that there are areas in your life that
are weak spots. Thus we have divided this section to cover all aspects of life.
You will be able to use these changes to help you to improve your life and make
it a happier place to be, whether you are looking for spiritual direction or even
organizational direction.
 PRODUCTIVITY CHANGES

Use a calendar to diary things that need to be done. An app or a paper

calendar will serve the same purpose. The hardest part of this change is learning
to make consultation of that diary a twice daily event. The first time that you
refer to it is to help you to organize the day that lies ahead. The second time will
be to see how you can manipulate the work you have to do in order to achieve it.
For example, if a diary event changes, change your calendar. A meeting may be
called off. This gives you opportunity to add something from another day and
thus save yourself time.

Split large jobs into smaller and more manageable jobs – If a task is
daunting, you will avoid it. However, when split into manageable proportions,
setting goals to finish each portion of the job becomes second nature. Use your
goal app to help you organize your productivity.

Learn to delegate and to trust work colleagues. This lessens your load and
helps you to become more productive.

Allot a certain amount of time first thing in the morning as “quiet” time.
During this time do not allow any interruptions to stop your train of thought.
Switch off your cell phone and do not look at your emails unless that forms part
of the job. The morning is your most productive time. Use it for the difficult
tasks and the rest of the day becomes much more manageable.

Sort work into priorities of Urgent, Routine, Non Urgent and that which
can be delegated. When you start a job, do not let interruptions get in the way of
stopping it. For example if dealing with routine emails when someone comes to
your desk, ask them to wait for a moment while you finish the email. A break in
your chain of thought uses up time.
 RELATIONSHIPS

Learn active listening. This helps you to see things from another person’s
perspective. All too often, we interrupt people in the middle of what they are
trying to say and this is how miscommunication happens. Learn to listen and
learn to have friends who are capable of active listening. This will help your
relationships considerably.

Learn to be honest. Even if you think that you will get a negative response,
learn to be honest about your feelings. You may have to reword things to suit the
particular individual you are talking to, but honesty helps you to stop bad
thoughts from building into mountains in your mind.

Give with no expectations of return – Learn to give who you are to the people
you care about without adding strings. You will learn the difference between
feeling used and feeling helpful. By doing this, you are able to feel a great sense
of self-satisfaction that helps your wellbeing.

Learn to say “no” – This is where many people slip up. If you have friends or
family who use you, don’t be their doormat. Learn to say “no” and believe in
your heart that you are entitled to say it, because you are. You are not
responsible for other people’s expectations of you.

Learn to interact with others – We have mentioned that you take on a buddy to
help you to reach goals, but social contact with others is essential to your
wellbeing. Mix with people and join in with social occasions because this helps
you to reinforce positivity within your life.
 FINANCES

Work out your goals and start to save for things you want to happen in your
life, even if that saving is minimal. Keep your goals set in your app, or in diary
format and be very pleased with yourself when you reach a goal.

Learn to get rid of the unnecessary. Often people are bogged down by
possessions that don’t actually give them any long term value. Declutter your
home and what you make from selling items you don’t want will help you to
save toward your dreams.

Learn to use credit cards correctly. This can help you enormously. If you pay
off your credit cards at the end of each month, you gain because it means you
can buy things when you need them but that you have planned that expenditure
and are not likely to get a bad credit rating.

Know what your monthly expenditure is and balance your bank statements.
This helps you to plan. It’s easy to get into bad habits by ignoring the
paperwork. By doing this, you are able to live within your means.
Enjoy simple pleasures in life. Quite often, we push ourselves to the limits
because we expect to spend money on entertainment. By taking a day out in the
countryside or camping instead of staying in expensive hotels, we get back to the
basics and it is here that strength of character can be formed.
 ORGANIZATION

To a certain extent, we have covered some of this in the Productivity section, but
these organizational habits will help you to make life much easier.
Get the app called LifeTick. The reason this app is so good is because you can
include others and that means that the buddy we talked about earlier can be
included on your goals. This is a great app for adding goals and if you want your
life to be happier, the goals are defined by your own core values. This helps you
to set up the goals and invite your buddy so that you can keep track on each
other’s goals and keep them going.

Use your calendar app on your tablet or make sure that you have a calendar
with sufficient space to add all of your appointments and family events. A
calendar is necessary for work and for at home and people who use them find
that they don’t have to waste brain space in trying to remember everything. The
only thing to remember is to set reminders and to consult the calendar on a
regular basis.

Take your personal goals a little at a time. Don’t try to do things which are
beyond the scope of your enthusiasm. Thus, supposing you want to clean and
organize all of your closets – take one at a time as a small goal and feel happy
that you have achieved it, moving onto the next. Make your goals a little harder
each time without compromising the possibility of finishing them.

Check in with your buddy – If you don’t have a joint app, make sure that you
do check in on your buddy because responsibility goes two ways. You will feel
the incentive to be organized because you will be helping your friend to become
more organized too and example is the best way to do this.
Make sure that you get “me” time. This may be an hour in the evening when
you can meditate or read. It may be an evening out on your own. You need me
time, in order to feel refreshed and ready to take on the world. Without it, there
is every possibility that you will begin to feel resentment.
 SPIRITUALITY AND MENTAL WELL-BEING

Spirituality may not be top on your list at the moment, but feeling spiritually
aware helps you to accept life and to see the beauty of it. This doesn’t mean that
you are religious. It just means that you have a close connection with the
spiritual world and are able to relate to it.

Mindfulness is something that is very easy to incorporate into your life and this
will help you to get rid of bad habits. Remember that this moment is the only
one that matters. What is past cannot be redone. What lies in the future is
anyone’s guess. Be present in the moment and make it count. That means
enjoying life to the fullest. Take in the atmosphere of life, enjoy the aromas, the
tastes and the opportunities life offers you. Clear your mind of negative
thoughts. Observe and learn not to pass judgment. When you can do this, your
mind will be peacefully aware of life and able to get back to its spiritual roots.

Peace and Tranquility are important. Try to go somewhere that inspires you.
For example, this may be a beach at sunset or a hill from which you can see
outstanding countryside. Open your mind to being close to your maker, whoever
that may be and soak in the beauty of awe inspiring scenery. It helps to put
things into perspective and makes you very whole inside.

Learn to be humble – Humility plays a large role in your mental and spiritual
wellbeing. That means being able to give of yourself without expectations of
reward. If you are able to help out at the local pet shelter, or even work serving
up soup to the homeless, do this as your way of paying it forward, rather than
expecting people to praise you for it. Humility helps you to change habits that
are negative into very balanced habits that are positive and help you to gain self-
esteem and peace of mind.

Feed your soul – In this case, you may be willing to try something such as
meditation which helps your mind and body to come together and feel whole, or
you may just want to try relaxation, listening to music which you find to be
uplifting. If you do decide on either, try to cut out noises which may detract from
the experience.

Learn to love yourself – People who love themselves are those who appreciate
life the most and are grateful for the life that they live. Self-love is not vanity. It
isn’t conceitedness. It is a quiet acceptance of who you are in the order of things.
You are a human being with thoughts and feelings and when you control who
you are and what you like about yourself, you attract others and also attract good
things within your life.
 HEALTH AND PHYSICAL FITNESS

The following changes are important to your wellbeing. People with self-esteem
issues may not respect the basic rules and it’s time to change. The reason change
is needed is because these changes make you stronger and more capable of
embracing the life that is offered to you.

Respect your need for sleep. This is vital because although you may be
unaware of it, your body heals during your sleep time. Your mind also heals and
if you are in a negative situation, making sure that you have your eight hours of
sleep a night can help you to find solutions, to see things clearly and to feel
stronger.

Exercise sufficiently – Many bad habits are formed because of the way that
modern people live. With the convenience of the motor car, we tend not to walk
anywhere any more. In areas of France, people live well past their nineties
because walking is the national obsession. You may not have to take up a
trailblazing marathon of any kind, but if you can add a little exercise to each day,
you will find that this helps your body to feel better. It makes you more alert and
less prone to health disorders that are due to obesity. It also helps those who
have arthritic conditions to suffer less. If you don’t like exercise, try an exercise
you do enjoy.
Dancing can be a great exercise, as can using a jump rope. If you have a Wii,
why not try Wii sports? It’s enjoyable and stops you from becoming a health
disaster.

Eating good foods will help you. If you can look into your larder and get rid of
all the sodium rich foods that are lurking there, you will find that you will
improve your health. Too many carbohydrates are bad and you need to start
reading labels when it comes to choosing the food that you buy. If there are too
many chemicals, try to avoid buying that particular food. Home-made dressings
are much more delicious and you control what you eat, rather than having to put
up with foods that may just be doing your body harm.

Get into a routine – You need to respect your body. When you stop to eat, take
your time and chew your food correctly. You will see instant results. You will
not suffer from stomach problems and will be less likely to have long term
illnesses associated with the digestive system. Try to sit down to eat with your
family, instead of snacking in front of the TV. When you provide snacks for
your family, make them healthy alternatives. Your routine should allow you to
enjoy your meal times and that includes breakfast, lunch and the evening meal.
Relax, enjoy and stop trying to make your digestive system work overtime
digesting foods that you have not chewed sufficiently.

Keep your cholesterol levels in check. This is important because this is what
determines your heart health. By eating the right foods and making sure that you
eat an apple a day, you could be improving your lot in life and increasing your
potential life span.
 LEISURE

Your leisure time is important. Don’t waste it by letting work life creep into it.
You do need this element of fun in your life because it helps you to build up
energy for the less enjoyable parts of your life such as work and financial
obligations.

Take up a hobby that makes you feel happy. The happiness factor is
important. It doesn’t matter if you are not the next Van Gogh. If you like
painting, then don’t be afraid to experiment and enjoy it. Other crafts which are
great for those with problems are things such as Zen Doodling. This is enjoyable
and provides great fun and if you like artistic endeavors you may enjoy it. Used
in hospitals to help patients with mental illness, you simply doodle, but do so in
a very organized way. It helps your level of concentration and it also helps your
development of patience.

Try to take in new knowledge. Reading is very good for this. If you are not
someone who has taken a lot of time reading, it’s time to understand that there
are books on every subject on Earth, so you can get books that will be enjoyable.
Even if you live on your tablet, Kindle makes a whole host of books available to
you. The peace of mind that you gain from reading is amazing. Plus it helps you
to open your mind to new learning and that’s always beneficial.

Sports activities may not appeal, but if you enjoy going out on a lake in a
boat, do it. There are all kinds of sporting activities that take you close to nature
and you don’t have to be a sports fanatic to take part. If you have a cycle and
your pal has one too, why not take a picnic lunch to a local beauty spot and give
each other the incentive to enjoy that sport. Go roller skating or even ten pin
bowling, because all of these activities are leisure activities that combine social
skills and physical exercise.
Take time for relaxation – From a spiritual standpoint, this is essential, but
even if you don’t see yourself as spiritual, taking time out for relaxation helps to
lift your mood and makes you feel positive about life.

Family time – In your leisure time, you have time to mix with family and
friends and you should always make sure that your life is not so busy that you
don’t put in the time you need to give to relationships with others. Have a few
friends over or go to visit them. This social contact helps you to feel better about
life and may be just the ticket when it comes to developing new habits that are
positive.
 CONCLUSION

You can see from this book that the changes you need to make in your life are
simple to make. They are not at all difficult and yet so many people miss the
point when it comes to introducing them into their lives.

Your life can be a very happy and healthy place to be. It can be a wonderful
opportunity to shine or simply enjoy what time you have with the people that
you love. If you go through life with your head in the sand ignoring all of the
possibilities that life offers you, it’s not surprising that life offers little in return.

We would suggest that you read the book again and check out all of the chapters
because there may be things that you have missed that are important. You need
to be ready to take on the world and grab every opportunity it offers you. The
Law of Attraction may be something that you have heard a little about. This is
something that happens when people are happy and fulfilled. It means attracting
all of the aspects of life that you ever dreamed about. The first step toward this
aim lies within the pages of this book. Grab it with both hands and enjoy being
who you are. It will change your life forever.
 CAN I ASK A FAVOUR?
If you enjoyed this book, found it useful or otherwise then I’d really appreciate it
if you would post a short review on Amazon. I do read all the reviews personally
so that I can continually write what people are wanting.
If you’d like to leave a review then please CLICK HERE.
Thank you for your support!
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Scott is a writer, author, entrepreneur, life coach, personal trainer, speaker and
an avid traveler.

Scott has been making money online since 2013 and decided to hop on to Kindle
and share with the world his wealth of knowledge. Mohammed loves the luxury
of being able to travel and yet make money doing so.

He always tells his clients, you don't need to think of travelling as an expense but
rather as an investment.

Some of his hobbies include:

Meditation, Mindfulness and The Meaning of Life
Running, Biking, Swimming, Rock Climbing
Helping Individuals Reach Their Full Potential
Spending Time With His Family
Playing Competitive Basketball
Writing, Traveling, Blogging
If you want to learn more about Scott or how to earn income online, you can go
ahead and visit the blog.