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Episode 205: Barry
Episode 205: Barry
Episode 205
Written by
Alec Berg & Bill Hader
RONNY PROXIN
Uh huh.
BARRY (O.S.)
Okay. Do you mind if I ask where?
RONNY PROXIN
Chicago.
BARRY (O.S.)
Chicago. See that's perfect. I have a
car outside. I want you to drive to
Chicago and I need you to stay there
for about a year.
Ronny Proxin frowns --
BARRY (O.S.) (cont'd)
I'm going to send you money. I just
need to get it first.
Barry enters frame and we see for the first time he's
wearing the LULULEMON HOT YOGA TRACKSUIT WITH THE HOOD UP.
He has an orange stocking (seemingly from a Halloween store)
pulled over his face.
Barry looks out the window.
BARRY
But see, the guy who has all my
money...we're in a weird place right
now. He's actually out in the car
right now. And he thinks I'm in here
killing you. I'm not. I'm calling an
audible here. So, when we get out
there he might be a little confused.
And you might see us argue. Just so
you know, I got it under wraps.
Beat.
BARRY (cont'd)
Okay. Sweet. Let's get you packed and
on the road. Do you have a suitcase?
Ronny points.
BARRY (cont'd)
Go ahead.
Ronny crosses the bedroom to another door.
BARRY - 205 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 12.13.18 3.
...Barry limps down the front steps and out onto the
street...
...as he walks, he takes off his sweatsuit top revealing the
BLODDY SHIRT underneath. He holds the top against his
shoulder as a compress. BLOOD CONTINUES TO SEEP THROUGH HIS
SHIRT FROM HIS STAB WOUND. IT GROWS AND GROWS, RUNNING DOWN
HIS BACK...
...he tries to relax his stride and avert his gaze as a
JOGGER PASSES...
...he approaches a CAR...
...REVEAL: Fuches is behind the wheel. He starts the car.
Barry gets in.
BARRY
Go.
FUCHES
You do it?
BARRY
Yes.
FUCHES
You did?
BARRY
Drive.
FUCHES
Is he dead?
BARRY
Drive!
Fuches takes off --
FUCHES
Is he dead?
Barry says nothing.
FUCHES (cont'd)
Barry: is Ronny dead?
Barry nods.
FUCHES (cont'd)
I know you're hurt but FUCK YEAH
BABY. We are off the hook. I'm gonna
call Loach and let him know --
BARRY
I need to go to a hospital.
FUCHES
Okay. But hey, we are free men. Loach
had us over a barrel and now we are
home fucking free. Shit I was so
worried. Thinking how we could maybe
just flee or --
BARRY
FUCHES I'M IN BAD SHAPE. I need to go
to a hospital.
FUCHES
Okay! I'll take you...Actually, I
can't take you to a hospital, they
might ask questions. We'll go to this
drug store.
BARRY
I need stitches.
FUCHES
I know how to do stitches.
FUCHES
What do you need me to get?
BARRY
NEEDLE AND THREAD.
FUCHES
Okay.
BARRY
FOR FUCKING STITCHES.
FUCHES
I understand.
BARRY
BECAUSE I'M DYING.
FUCHES
I understand. Needle. Thread. I'll
get one of those little hotel ones.
I'm gonna get some corn nuts. You
want anything?
BARRY
No.
Fuches leaves. Barry sits in the car, the only sound is the
CLICKING OF THE HAZARD LIGHTS.
BARRY'S CELL BUZZES. He unzips a POCKET and pulls it out.
It's Loach.
BARRY (cont'd)
(on phone)
Hello?
INTERCUTTING --
LOACH
(beat)
Is it done?
Barry's had it with these assholes. He hangs up.
FUCHES (cont'd)
Jesus. Okay.
Fuches POURS ALCOHOL ON THE WOUND. Barry winces.
FUCHES (cont'd)
Jesus. What did he hit you with a
fucking cleaver?
Barry thinks...how to explain this...
BARRY
It wasn't Ronny.
Fuches stops cleaning the wound.
FUCHES
What do you mean it wasn't Ronny?
BARRY
It was his daughter.
Fuches sits back in his seat.
BARRY (cont'd)
She's probably twelve years old. I
think he trains her or something
because she was like a...feral
mongoose.
Fuches sighs, resigned, even moved.
FUCHES
I see why you don't wanna do this
work anymore, Barry. Killing a man, I
understand it because that's kinda
why we're put on this earth. We're
the strong, the disposable. But
killing a child...
(deep breath)
Jesus Barry. I'm sorry you had to go
through that. Well. If you weren't
fucked up before, you are
definitely...
BARRY
I didn't kill her.
FUCHES
What?
BARRY
She attacked me and ran away.
BARRY - 205 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 12.13.18 13.
Beat.
FUCHES
Well you gotta go kill her.
He starts the car --
BARRY
What?
FUCHES
You gotta go kill her right now.
BARRY
Fuches -
FUCHES
SHE CAN FUCKING IDENTIFY YOU!
BARRY
She's long gone, where are we going?
FUCHES
WE HAVE TO GO FIND HER.
FUCHES
It's super glue.
BARRY
SUPER GLUE?!
Fuches finishes and pulls Barry's shirt back down. Barry
leans back, swearing.
FUCHES
Now... up you go.
BARRY
FUCK YOU I'm not killing her, Fuches!
FUCHES
Well what are you proposing, then,
Barry?
(then)
Wait, what if we called Hank? He
could send one of those Chechens over
with a scoped rifle and they could
plink her right off the roof?
BARRY
They'd never hit her.
FUCHES
Sure they could. Easy.
BARRY
Not these guys. I'm training them.
They're worthless.
Beat.
FUCHES
Sorry. You're what?
Barry realizes he's stepped in it.
FUCHES (cont'd)
Did you say you're training them? Are
you doing contract work without me?
You cut me out?
BARRY
Fucking relax man. It was a one time
deal. Hank has a heroin shipment
going through a monastery and he
needs an army so I'm training his
guys. I do that and then I'm done.
BARRY - 205 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 12.13.18 18.
FUCHES
You're gonna walk away from an army?
And HEROIN? I don't think so. No. I'm
gonna call Hank, we'll set the whole
thing up.
BOOM. Something lands on the roof of the car.
FUCHES (cont'd)
(screaming)
It's her! Hold on!
FUCHES PUTS THE CAR INTO GEAR, AND GUNS IT DOWN THE STREET,
BOTH OF THEM SCREAMING.
HE SLAMS ON THE BRAKES...
...Nothing flies off the roof...
...Fuches and Barry are confused...
FUCHES (cont'd)
No fucking way.
AS WE PUSH IN ON THEM STARING AT THE ROOF, LILY SILENTLY
SWINGS INTO THE BACK SEAT THROUGH AN OPEN WINDOW.
Fuches senses something...he turns to the back seat --
-- AND LILY BITES HIS FACE. She doesn't let go, just holds
his cheek in her mouth like a dog --
Fuches' hands are still on the steering wheel. He doesn't
move.
FUCHES (cont'd)
(whisper)
Barry. Kill her.
BARRY
(whisper)
Just carefully pull her off of your
face.
FUCHES
I can't.
BARRY
Why?
FUCHES
Because I super glued my hands to the
steering wheel.
BARRY - 205 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 12.13.18 19.
BARRY
Then just shake your head slowly side
to side.
FUCHES
(beat)
I don't feel comfortable doing that.
Lily readjusts her bite --
FUCHES (cont'd)
(to Lily)
Whoa, easy. Easy girl.
(to Barry)
I think maybe, you shoot her off my
face.
BARRY
I'm telling you, I can't do that.
FUCHES
Now is not the time to grow a fucking
heart dipshit -- AHHHH!
LILY BITES A CHUNK OUT OF FUCHES' FACE. She spits it back at
him, opens the car door and runs off.
Through the windshield, Lily stops in the headlights. She
looks at them, vacant-eyed, blood running down her mouth and
onto her Taekwondo outfit. She HISSES AT THEM.
FUCHES (cont'd)
(screaming)
WHAT ARE YOU?
BARRY
I'll see what they have.
FUCHES
FUCKING GO! I can't be stuck to this
shit all night.
Barry exits the car --