1

00:00:02,927 --> 00:00:03,919

2
00:00:04,497 --> 00:00:05,697
Morning.

3
00:00:06,657 --> 00:00:08,692
- Sleep okay?
- Um uh. Great!

4
00:00:11,117 --> 00:00:12,690
Hey, can I ask you something?

5
00:00:12,715 --> 00:00:13,915
Sure.

6
00:00:14,134 --> 00:00:16,875
Last night, me wanting to try
that stuff out of the Kama Sutra.

7
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:19,845
Was that fun for you
or kinda racially insensitive?

8
00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:23,637
Yes. Just because you're in bed
with an India woman

9
00:00:23,662 --> 00:00:25,110
you think that gives you permission

10
00:00:25,135 --> 00:00:28,229
to use crazy positions
from an ancient Indian love manual?

11
00:00:28,873 --> 00:00:31,871
Hey, if you can find a book
called "Weird Sex with White Boys"

12
00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:33,150
I'd be okay with that.

13
00:00:35,607 --> 00:00:38,356
No, no, you know you have such
beautiful eyes.
14
00:00:39,226 --> 00:00:40,582
Have you ever thought about
getting contacts?

15
00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,488
I tried in the seventh grade.
I could never get used to them.

16
00:00:43,513 --> 00:00:44,713
Oh. That's too bad.

17
00:00:44,738 --> 00:00:47,442
Yeah. If I had contacts,
I would have been the coolest

18
00:00:47,467 --> 00:00:50,475
Debate Club president ever to be
stuffed into his own cello case.

19
00:00:52,733 --> 00:00:56,452
If you had them on now, you could
see what we're going to do next.

20
00:00:59,822 --> 00:01:01,928
That-That's okay.
I can infer from context.

21
00:01:05,154 --> 00:01:07,103
Hey, Raj, you wanna see a new
magic trick I been working on?

22
00:01:07,128 --> 00:01:08,328
Eh, Howard.

23
00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:11,421
If I may interject here
with a piece of friendly advice.

24
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:15,260
Is working on magic tricks, really
how you want to spend your time?

25
00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:19,068
Uh, granted,
you're just an engineer, but...

26
00:01:20,034 --> 00:01:23,546
that doesn't mean you might
not someday build a geegaw

27
00:01:23,571 --> 00:01:24,771
or a thingamabob that

28
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that may get you a "thank you" in someone
else's Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

29
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Is the trick making him disappear?

30
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:39,863
Sure, let's see it.

31
00:01:40,983 --> 00:01:42,764
Here.
Shuffle these.

32
00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:43,989
Okay.

33
00:01:45,229 --> 00:01:47,019
Now spread them out on the table.
Face down.

34
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Pick one.
Look at it.

35
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Okay.

36
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Now remember your card.
Put it back in the deck.

37
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Is it any wonder
he doesn't have a doctorate?

38
00:01:56,385 --> 00:01:58,111
Now remind me,
what's your birthday?
39
00:01:58,136 --> 00:01:59,336
October sixth.

40
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Okay, October is the tenth month.

41
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So 10-- one plus zero
is one plus six is seven.

42
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:08,567
Turn over the seventh card.

43
00:02:12,469 --> 00:02:13,421
How about that!

44
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:14,646
But, is that your card?

45
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Yes. It is.
Very cool!

46
00:02:18,269 --> 00:02:19,869
Oh it's not cool.

47
00:02:19,902 --> 00:02:24,766
It's a childish trick, designed
to confuse and intrigue simpletons.

48
00:02:25,780 --> 00:02:26,980
How'd you do it?

49
00:02:27,826 --> 00:02:30,037
A magician never reveals his secrets.

50
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,882
But surely a future
Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.

51
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:36,329
Fine.

52
00:02:36,354 --> 00:02:37,554
Give me a second.
53
00:02:41,271 --> 00:02:44,595
You ever notice when he thinks
real hard it smells like bacon?

54
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- Oh hey!
- Sorry! Oop!

55
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Sorry! Pardon me!

56
00:02:51,684 --> 00:02:53,084
Oh, I'm so sorry!

57
00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:54,309
Oh, that was my fault.

58
00:02:57,904 --> 00:03:00,494
Check it out.
I just got contacts.

59
00:03:03,988 --> 00:03:07,607
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

60
00:03:07,608 --> 00:03:10,943
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

61
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♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

62
00:03:12,579 --> 00:03:15,114
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

63
00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:17,800
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

64
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:20,436
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

65
00:03:20,437 --> 00:03:22,372
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

66
00:03:22,373 --> 00:03:23,352
♪ Bang! ♪

67
00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:26,865
<font color=#00FF00>♪ The Big Bang Theory 4x18 ♪</font>
<font color=#00FFFF>The Prestidigitation Approximation</font>
Original Air Date on March 10, 2011

68
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:29,890
-- sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> --

69
00:03:29,893 --> 00:03:31,678
One, two,

70
00:03:31,748 --> 00:03:34,216
three, four, five.

71
00:03:34,217 --> 00:03:35,067
No way.

72
00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:36,051
That's your card, right?

73
00:03:36,052 --> 00:03:37,552
Seven of clubs!

74
00:03:37,553 --> 00:03:38,920
That is amazing!

75
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:42,257
It's not amazing.

76
00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:45,894
All magic tricks are merely
a combination

77
00:03:45,895 --> 00:03:47,596
of manipulation
and misdirection

78
00:03:47,597 --> 00:03:52,233
with the occasional dwarf in
a box wiggling his feet.
79
00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:55,203
Oh, really?
So how did I do it?

80
00:03:55,204 --> 00:03:56,805
I don't care how you did it.

81
00:03:56,806 --> 00:04:00,575
I have more important things
to think about.

82
00:04:04,213 --> 00:04:07,449
Clearly, the cards
are marked.

83
00:04:07,450 --> 00:04:09,818
I thought you had more important
things to think about.

84
00:04:09,819 --> 00:04:11,586
I do.
You just happened

85
00:04:11,587 --> 00:04:13,488
to have caught me
on a break.

86
00:04:14,924 --> 00:04:18,226
Oh, let me see
those cards.

87
00:04:18,227 --> 00:04:19,561
Big deal. Not knowing

88
00:04:19,562 --> 00:04:21,096
is part of the fun.

89
00:04:21,097 --> 00:04:22,964
"Not knowing is part
of the fun."

90
00:04:22,965 --> 00:04:24,933
Was that the motto
of your community college?

91
00:04:27,036 --> 00:04:29,404
Hey, guys,
what do you think?

92
00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:30,872
Priya took me
clothes shopping.

93
00:04:30,873 --> 00:04:32,090
Hey, you look great.

94
00:04:32,091 --> 00:04:33,241
Good for you, Priya.

95
00:04:33,242 --> 00:04:35,210
I could never get that stupid
hoodie off him

96
00:04:35,211 --> 00:04:36,178
when we were...

97
00:04:36,179 --> 00:04:37,312
Well, you look great.

98
00:04:37,313 --> 00:04:38,747
Thank you.

99
00:04:38,748 --> 00:04:40,382
Lets go hang
everything up.

100
00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:41,800
Yeah, good.

101
00:04:43,553 --> 00:04:45,086
New contacts.

102
00:04:45,087 --> 00:04:47,422
I should have done this
years ago.

103
00:04:49,659 --> 00:04:52,961
So you finally getting used to
them doing it on a daily basis?

104
00:04:52,962 --> 00:04:54,096
I'm not going out with him.

105
00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:55,564
He can sleep
with whoever he wants.

106
00:04:55,565 --> 00:04:58,300
Yeah, I was talking to Raj.

107
00:05:02,739 --> 00:05:04,840
Oopsy.

108
00:05:04,841 --> 00:05:06,375
This deck is rigged in
some fashion.

109
00:05:06,376 --> 00:05:07,342
Fine. Get another deck

110
00:05:07,343 --> 00:05:08,677
and I'll do
the trick with that.

111
00:05:08,678 --> 00:05:10,278
So you're saying this is
a regulation deck?

112
00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:13,181
I'm saying believe in magic,
you muggle.

113
00:05:16,719 --> 00:05:19,654
You know, well, I'm happy
Leonard's found someone.

114
00:05:21,824 --> 00:05:24,226
Not that anybody asked.

115
00:05:28,831 --> 00:05:31,433
How many Star Trek uniforms
do you have?

116
00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:33,819
Just two:

117
00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:36,304
everyday and dress.

118
00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:37,972
Uh-huh.

119
00:05:37,973 --> 00:05:41,142
Listen, we need
to talk about something.

120
00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:43,278
Oh, my God, you're breaking up
with me!

121
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,547
Why would you take me out
shopping

122
00:05:45,548 --> 00:05:47,983
and then break up with me?
That is so cruel!

123
00:05:47,984 --> 00:05:50,886
Leonard, I'm not breaking up
with you.

124
00:05:50,887 --> 00:05:52,838
Oh, okay.

125
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,677
So, what's up?

126
00:05:58,678 --> 00:06:00,996
It's a little weird,

127
00:06:00,997 --> 00:06:04,165
your ex-girlfriend hanging out
here all the time.

128
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,267
I know.

129
00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:06,835
I usually never see
my ex-girlfriends,

130
00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,271
unless their hard drives crash.

131
00:06:09,272 --> 00:06:13,742
I'm just saying, how would you
feel if I was hanging out

132
00:06:13,743 --> 00:06:15,110
with my ex-boyfriend?

133
00:06:15,111 --> 00:06:16,545
Um, not great, I guess.

134
00:06:16,546 --> 00:06:18,413
But Penny and I are
just friends.

135
00:06:18,414 --> 00:06:19,781
I don't care.

136
00:06:19,782 --> 00:06:21,650
This is a woman you have
slept with.

137
00:06:21,651 --> 00:06:23,034
If you want her around,

138
00:06:23,035 --> 00:06:26,354
then I have to wonder if maybe
you're not ready to move on.

139
00:06:26,355 --> 00:06:28,073
No, no-no-no, I'm ready!

140
00:06:28,074 --> 00:06:30,592
I gave up the gift of
sight for you.

141
00:06:30,593 --> 00:06:32,227
If that's not moving on,
what is?

142
00:06:32,228 --> 00:06:35,497
You need to cut the cord
with Penny.

143
00:06:35,498 --> 00:06:37,866
Oh... okay.

144
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:40,201
You don't sound very confident.

145
00:06:40,202 --> 00:06:41,803
No, no, I'm confident.

146
00:06:41,804 --> 00:06:44,239
Its not like I'm unfamiliar with
the "get lost" conversation.

147
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,375
Although, this will be the first
time I'll be the one saying it.

148
00:06:47,376 --> 00:06:49,544
Thank you.

149
00:06:49,545 --> 00:06:50,879
I appreciate it.

150
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,147
Sure.

151
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,616
Oh, God, you
smell so good.

152
00:06:54,617 --> 00:06:56,651
Of course, that
could just be

153
00:06:56,652 --> 00:06:58,570
my other senses
getting stronger.

154
00:07:01,624 --> 00:07:05,627
Hypothetically, if I had access

155
00:07:05,628 --> 00:07:10,232
to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform,
would you wear it?

156
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,467
Leonard, it is a source
of great pain

157
00:07:12,468 --> 00:07:13,602
to me and my family

158
00:07:13,603 --> 00:07:15,770
that my brother has that outfit
in his wardrobe.

159
00:07:15,771 --> 00:07:17,272
Can we not discuss it?

160
00:07:17,273 --> 00:07:20,041
I'm sorry. Never mind.

161
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,981
And was your card the jack
of diamonds?

162
00:07:25,982 --> 00:07:30,385
Oh, unbelievable!

163
00:07:33,656 --> 00:07:35,056
Know how he did it yet?

164
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:41,596
Um...

165
00:07:41,597 --> 00:07:44,799
Aw, he has the same look
my little nephew gets

166
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,602
when he can't figure out
how I got his nose.

167
00:07:50,907 --> 00:07:53,208
You know, I have some remedial
magic tricks

168
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:54,976
that might be more your speed.

169
00:07:54,977 --> 00:07:56,411
Like, ooh, look!
170
00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,748
The pencil's rubber!

171
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:04,219
Hey, I think I know how you did
the card trick.

172
00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,589
Oh, please, if I don't know,
you don't know.

173
00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:09,241
That's axiomatic.

174
00:08:09,242 --> 00:08:11,126
Come here.

175
00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:13,962
You're right.

176
00:08:15,731 --> 00:08:17,399
Not too bad for someone

177
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,935
who doesn't know
what "axiomatic" means.

178
00:08:27,009 --> 00:08:28,810
Oh, hi.

179
00:08:28,811 --> 00:08:30,144
Hey, you.

180
00:08:30,145 --> 00:08:31,646
What happened with
the contacts?

181
00:08:31,647 --> 00:08:32,914
One of them's upstairs.

182
00:08:32,915 --> 00:08:36,484
The other one sort of slipped
back into my skull.

183
00:08:36,485 --> 00:08:38,837
Hey, is that one of the new
shirts Priya got you?

184
00:08:38,838 --> 00:08:40,121
Yeah.

185
00:08:40,122 --> 00:08:41,756
You don't wanna
wash that.

186
00:08:41,757 --> 00:08:43,625
No?
No, that's silk.

187
00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,844
Seriously, what would you do
without me?

188
00:08:45,845 --> 00:08:47,729
Yeah.

189
00:08:49,599 --> 00:08:51,516
You know, I gotta
tell you, I think

190
00:08:51,517 --> 00:08:54,102
you got a real winner with Priya.
Yeah, me, too.

191
00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:55,470
She seems really sweet.

192
00:08:55,471 --> 00:08:57,639
Believe me, you do not want
to take that for granted.

193
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,408
There are a lot of bitches
out there.

194
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:04,813
Yeah, bitches are the worst.

195
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:06,681
All right, I'll
see you later.
196
00:09:06,682 --> 00:09:09,384
Uh, Penny, there's something
I have to tell you.

197
00:09:09,385 --> 00:09:10,518
What?

198
00:09:10,519 --> 00:09:13,288
Okay, uh, how do I put this?

199
00:09:13,289 --> 00:09:17,959
Um... are you familiar with
Darwin's observation

200
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,029
of the finches
in the Galapagos Islands?

201
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:23,331
Did they make a movie about it?

202
00:09:23,332 --> 00:09:25,033
No.

203
00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:26,968
Then no.

204
00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:30,772
All right, well, anyway, Darwin
observed that when two groups

205
00:09:30,773 --> 00:09:33,174
of finches competed
over the same food source,

206
00:09:33,175 --> 00:09:36,378
eventually one of them would
evolve a different beak shape

207
00:09:36,379 --> 00:09:39,047
so they could feed on
something else.

208
00:09:39,048 --> 00:09:41,650
Okay.
209
00:09:41,651 --> 00:09:44,919
So what do you think we can
learn from that behavior

210
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,355
that we can apply
to our own lives?

211
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:52,394
Uh, a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush?

212
00:09:54,196 --> 00:09:58,033
Sure, that has birds in it.

213
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:02,704
It's fun talking to you,
Leonard; I always learn stuff.

214
00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:08,576
I'm sorry,
but I'm gonna count that.

215
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:16,051
Do you really have
to wear that in bed?

216
00:10:19,155 --> 00:10:22,490
Yeah. The doctor didn't want me
to rub my eye during the night.

217
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:26,027
It was either this or one
of those giant neck cones.

218
00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:30,432
So did you get
to talk to Penny?

219
00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:34,135
Oh, yes.
Indeed, I did.

220
00:10:34,136 --> 00:10:35,837
And?

221
00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:38,640
She completely understood
everything I said. Case closed.

222
00:10:38,641 --> 00:10:40,275
Was she upset?

223
00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:43,578
Maybe, but that's
not my problem.

224
00:10:43,579 --> 00:10:45,547
She's not my girlfriend,
you are.

225
00:10:45,548 --> 00:10:48,550
I hope you weren't
cruel to her.

226
00:10:48,551 --> 00:10:52,954
Is the autumn cruel
for letting the flowers die,

227
00:10:52,955 --> 00:10:55,857
or is that just nature's way?

228
00:10:58,994 --> 00:11:00,829
Leonard?
Leonard?

229
00:11:00,830 --> 00:11:01,963
Leonard?

230
00:11:01,964 --> 00:11:03,465
What?!

231
00:11:03,466 --> 00:11:06,201
I think I figured out
Wolowitz's magic trick,

232
00:11:06,202 --> 00:11:09,370
and I need you
to pick a card.

233
00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:13,908
I am not opening
that door, Sheldon!
234
00:11:13,909 --> 00:11:15,243
As you wish.

235
00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:24,886
Pick a card, put it back,
and prepare to be amazed.

236
00:11:26,889 --> 00:11:28,890
Did you pick one?

237
00:11:28,891 --> 00:11:30,325
Yep.

238
00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:35,330
Is this your card?

239
00:11:35,331 --> 00:11:36,598
Nope.

240
00:11:36,599 --> 00:11:38,800
Drat.

241
00:11:39,935 --> 00:11:42,270
Is this your card?

242
00:11:42,271 --> 00:11:44,439
No.

243
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,508
I'll be right back.

244
00:11:54,268 --> 00:11:55,668
Pick a card, Sheldon.

245
00:11:57,271 --> 00:12:01,107
Now look at it,
and put it back in the deck.

246
00:12:03,144 --> 00:12:04,677
Now do you remember your card?

247
00:12:04,678 --> 00:12:06,780
Of course I do, I have
an eidetic memory.
248
00:12:06,781 --> 00:12:08,548
My apologies.

249
00:12:08,549 --> 00:12:11,017
Now shuffle the cards.

250
00:12:11,018 --> 00:12:13,520
Shuffling.

251
00:12:13,521 --> 00:12:15,255
Wait here.

252
00:12:17,642 --> 00:12:20,727
Processing image,
cross-referencing...

253
00:12:20,728 --> 00:12:22,495
Whatcha doin'?

254
00:12:22,496 --> 00:12:25,532
I'm reverse engineering
Wolowitz's magic trick.

255
00:12:25,533 --> 00:12:29,636
What's up
with the infrared cameras?

256
00:12:29,637 --> 00:12:32,138
I'm measuring residual heat
levels on the playing cards

257
00:12:32,139 --> 00:12:33,740
to determine
which one's been touched.

258
00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:35,609
By the way,

259
00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:37,010
if you hope to have children,

260
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:38,879
I suggest you switch
from briefs to boxers.
261
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,780
Your testicles look a tad warm.

262
00:12:48,656 --> 00:12:51,658
Holy crap,
are you connected

263
00:12:51,659 --> 00:12:53,827
to the Oak Ridge
National Laboratory?

264
00:12:53,828 --> 00:12:56,396
Yes. I'm using their
Cray supercomputer

265
00:12:56,397 --> 00:12:57,697
to analyze
shuffling patterns.

266
00:12:57,698 --> 00:13:00,634
Sheldon, that computer
is used

267
00:13:00,635 --> 00:13:01,902
for national defense.

268
00:13:01,903 --> 00:13:03,570
Hacking into it is
a federal crime.

269
00:13:03,571 --> 00:13:06,740
Relax, we're not under
attack right now.

270
00:13:06,741 --> 00:13:12,379
Okay, I'm leaving before the
black helicopters get here.

271
00:13:13,547 --> 00:13:17,117
And is this my card?

272
00:13:17,118 --> 00:13:19,552
Rats!

273
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:25,859
I wonder if Howard used
a radioactive tracer.

274
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:29,763
Where am I going to find
uranium-235 this time of night?

275
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,968
Come on, CraigsList.

276
00:13:39,106 --> 00:13:42,142
Is it racist that I took you
to an Indian restaurant?

277
00:13:42,143 --> 00:13:45,612
It's okay, I like Indian food.

278
00:13:45,613 --> 00:13:49,082
Or as you probably call it
back home, "food."

279
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:52,018
Why didn't you wear
your contacts?

280
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:53,320
Don't you like them?

281
00:13:53,321 --> 00:13:54,587
No, no, I do.

282
00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:56,656
It's just I knew I was having
curry tonight

283
00:13:56,657 --> 00:14:00,193
and I only want one part
of my body to burn at a time.

284
00:14:02,029 --> 00:14:04,164
You know...

285
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:07,067
...my company offered me a
position here in Los Angeles.

286
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:11,171
Does that mean you'd relocate
here permanently?

287
00:14:11,172 --> 00:14:13,707
Maybe. What do you think?

288
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:16,042
I love it.

289
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,011
That's great!

290
00:14:18,012 --> 00:14:21,147
Hi!

291
00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:24,651
Hi! Just hang on.

292
00:14:24,652 --> 00:14:27,787
Small world.

293
00:14:27,788 --> 00:14:28,955
You did talk to her, didn't you?

294
00:14:28,956 --> 00:14:31,558
Of course, I did.
I talked and talked and talked.

295
00:14:32,677 --> 00:14:36,662
Hey! Look at Leonard in his
fancy-ass grownup clothes.

296
00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:40,333
Way to go, Priya.
For once, he doesn't look

297
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:42,669
like a mannequin in
the boys' department.

298
00:14:44,138 --> 00:14:45,438
Hey, did he

299
00:14:45,439 --> 00:14:47,207
tell you I saved
the silk shirt?
300
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:48,575
No, he did not.

301
00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:50,677
He was gonna throw it
in the washing machine

302
00:14:50,678 --> 00:14:53,380
with his
Spiderman underwear.

303
00:14:53,381 --> 00:14:55,148
That's our Lenny, huh?

304
00:14:55,149 --> 00:14:58,118
Yes, that's our Lenny.

305
00:14:58,119 --> 00:15:00,370
So how's
the food here?

306
00:15:00,371 --> 00:15:03,239
Oh, wow, that is
really, really good.

307
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,241
Oh, I'm sorry.
You guys are on a date.

308
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,160
We can hang out
anytime. Have fun.

309
00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,495
Bye.
Good night.

310
00:15:09,914 --> 00:15:11,831
Oh, that's, hot, hot, hot, hot!

311
00:15:14,201 --> 00:15:16,920
Whoo! It really
sneaks up on ya, huh?

312
00:15:16,921 --> 00:15:18,338
All right, I gotta go.

313
00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:25,779
It is pretty spicy.

314
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:30,350
Oh, I've been meaning
to tell you,

315
00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:32,619
I figured out
your magic trick.

316
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,421
Really?

317
00:15:34,422 --> 00:15:35,622
Oh, yes.

318
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:38,091
In fact, I improved upon it.

319
00:15:38,692 --> 00:15:40,060
I'd love to see that.

320
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:41,327
How about you, Raj?

321
00:15:41,328 --> 00:15:43,163
Beefaroni and a show?

322
00:15:43,164 --> 00:15:44,864
How do you turn that down?

323
00:15:44,865 --> 00:15:49,736
All right.

324
00:15:49,737 --> 00:15:51,404
Pick a card.

325
00:15:51,405 --> 00:15:53,673
Okay.

326
00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:56,242
Bippity-boppity-boo.
327
00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:08,955
What's with the wand
and the beep?

328
00:16:08,956 --> 00:16:10,723
The wand is called showmanship,

329
00:16:10,724 --> 00:16:13,093
and the beep is none
of your business.

330
00:16:15,262 --> 00:16:16,329
Oh! Excuse me.

331
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:17,864
I'm getting a text message

332
00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:20,433
completely unrelated
to this magic trick.

333
00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:24,037
Oh, look, my
dry cleaning's ready.

334
00:16:24,038 --> 00:16:27,941
And your card was
the five of spades. Ta-da.

335
00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:31,711
These cards have barcodes
on them.

336
00:16:31,712 --> 00:16:32,778
The wand is a reader.

337
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:34,781
It's transmitting to your phone.

338
00:16:38,452 --> 00:16:40,553
I said, "ta-da."

339
00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:41,621
Show's over.
340
00:16:41,622 --> 00:16:43,923
That's pathetic.

341
00:16:43,924 --> 00:16:46,626
Let me show you how
a real magician does it.

342
00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:47,960
Raj, take a card.

343
00:16:47,961 --> 00:16:49,829
Don't let me see it.

344
00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:52,165
Okay.

345
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,666
Three of clubs.

346
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,068
Son of a gun,

347
00:16:55,069 --> 00:16:56,603
you're blowing my mind!

348
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:02,308
Bippity-boppity-boo-yah!

349
00:17:04,278 --> 00:17:07,280
That does it.
I'm getting uranium.

350
00:17:12,086 --> 00:17:13,486
You ever gonna tell him?

351
00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:16,656
Maybe.
When it stops being fun.

352
00:17:16,657 --> 00:17:19,142
So never.

353
00:17:26,967 --> 00:17:28,801
Oh, hey, I was
just on my way to work.
354
00:17:28,802 --> 00:17:30,270
Oh, okay,
its not important.

355
00:17:30,271 --> 00:17:31,237
It can wait.

356
00:17:31,238 --> 00:17:32,856
No, it's all right.
Walk me down.

357
00:17:32,857 --> 00:17:33,857
So, what's up?

358
00:17:33,858 --> 00:17:35,542
Uh, I kind of have
a problem

359
00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:37,544
I was hoping
you could help me with.

360
00:17:37,545 --> 00:17:38,611
Sure, anything.

361
00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:41,114
Move out.

362
00:17:41,115 --> 00:17:42,482
What?

363
00:17:42,483 --> 00:17:43,816
Not far.

364
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,885
Hey, if you ever wanna
start a family,

365
00:17:45,886 --> 00:17:47,737
La Cañada has
some great schools.

366
00:17:47,738 --> 00:17:49,155
Okay, I'm not
moving anywhere.
367
00:17:49,156 --> 00:17:51,291
What the hell
is this all about?

368
00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:53,860
Why does it have
to be about anything?

369
00:17:53,861 --> 00:17:55,962
Can't a fella ask
his buddy to relocate,

370
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:58,064
no questions asked?

371
00:17:58,065 --> 00:17:59,465
Oh, for God's sake,
Leonard,

372
00:17:59,466 --> 00:18:00,967
this is about Priya,
isn't it?

373
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,702
She doesn't want me
hanging out with you.

374
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:05,872
Yes. There, I said it.

375
00:18:07,074 --> 00:18:08,675
Okay, look.

376
00:18:08,676 --> 00:18:10,843
I happen to like
your girlfriend.

377
00:18:10,844 --> 00:18:11,761
And she likes you.

378
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:12,412
No, she doesn't.

379
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,147
Not really, no.
380
00:18:14,148 --> 00:18:16,082
It doesn't matter.
Look, I promise from now on

381
00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:17,550
I will keep
my distance from you.

382
00:18:17,551 --> 00:18:19,953
Well, now, hold on.
What kind of distance

383
00:18:19,954 --> 00:18:21,888
are we talking about?
Because we are neighbors.

384
00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:24,190
I mean, I can hear the toilet
flush in your apartment.

385
00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:26,826
You can hear my toilet flush?

386
00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:29,395
I don't listen for it,
but it's nice to know

387
00:18:29,396 --> 00:18:32,966
everything's okay
with your plumbing.

388
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:34,834
The building's plumbing.

389
00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:36,035
Leonard, I get it.

390
00:18:36,036 --> 00:18:37,503
You're in
a new relationship now.

391
00:18:37,504 --> 00:18:38,738
And I'm happy for you.

392
00:18:38,739 --> 00:18:41,207
So why don't we just shake
hands and part friends?

393
00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,408
Well, now hold on.

394
00:18:42,409 --> 00:18:43,643
How about this?

395
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,846
How about we still hang out,
but on the down-low?

396
00:18:46,847 --> 00:18:50,383
Are you really that kind of guy?

397
00:18:50,384 --> 00:18:52,051
No.

398
00:18:52,052 --> 00:18:56,256
I actually felt kinda silly just
saying "on the down-low."

399
00:18:58,025 --> 00:18:59,809
Good-bye, Leonard.

400
00:19:01,829 --> 00:19:04,397
Penny, wait.

401
00:19:05,232 --> 00:19:07,900
Ah!

402
00:19:11,438 --> 00:19:13,673
Damn contacts.

403
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:20,825
Incoming.

404
00:19:22,424 --> 00:19:24,809
- Hi!
- Hey!

405
00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:26,079
Hello.

406
00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:29,881
Why so glum, chum?

407
00:19:29,925 --> 00:19:31,926
Apparently,
you can't hack into

408
00:19:31,927 --> 00:19:33,895
a government
supercomputer

409
00:19:33,896 --> 00:19:35,496
and then try
to buy uranium

410
00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:37,632
without the Department of
Homeland Security tattling

411
00:19:37,633 --> 00:19:39,800
to your mother.

412
00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:45,673
Oh, that's too bad.

413
00:19:45,674 --> 00:19:47,242
Figure out the magic trick yet?

414
00:19:47,243 --> 00:19:49,544
Figure out the magic trick yet?

415
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,779
Want me to tell you
how to do it?

416
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:52,614
No.

417
00:19:52,615 --> 00:19:54,349
I'll show you one more time.

418
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:55,950
Raj?

419
00:19:55,951 --> 00:19:57,652
Hang on.
420
00:19:57,653 --> 00:19:59,587
This time do it with me,

421
00:19:59,588 --> 00:20:02,890
so I can make sure
there's no monkey business.

422
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,863
All right.

423
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:21,659
- Two of hearts.
- I hate you.

424
00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:25,563
-- sync, corrected by <font color=#00FF00>elderman</font> --

425
00:20:28,919 --> 00:20:31,354
Yeah, he's gonna win
the Nobel Prize.

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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