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CONTENTS

Divine Names Of Arunachala 2


Editorial Who is a Genuine Guru? 3
Self-Enquiry, Change And The Nature Of Brahman Ram Brown Crowell 9
Poem: Corinthians 13 : A Lesson Geetha Ravichandran 15
Nammalvar: The Small And The Large Sharada Bhanu 17
The Paramount Importance Of Self Attention Sadhu Om 29
Keyword: Darpana/Adrasa B.K. Croissant 35
Sri Mahaswami Part Six Serge Demetrian 43
The Significance Of Kartikai Deepam M.R. Kodhandram 53
Poem: The Names Of Lalitha Ramesh Menon 58
Consciousness S. Ram Mohan 59
Death In Tiruvannamalai Nadhia Sutara 65
Poem: Questions Suresh Kailash 68
The Maharshi And Mantra Part One Kays 69
Australian Kailash Yatra 2018 Part Three Cheenu Srinivasan 77
The Art Of Dying Suresh Natarajan 89
How I Came To Bhagavan Sharon Maas 93
Maha Bhakta Vijayam: The Advent Of Namdev
Nabaji Siddha 103
Poem: Ode Upahar 114
Sonasaila Malai Sivaprakasa Swamigal 115
Book Reviews 123
Ashram Bulletin 126
Divine Names of Arunachala
18.   
om sākṣiṇe namaḥ
Prostration to Him who is the witness of everything.
‘Sākṣiṇe’ is the word ‘sākṣin’ in the dative case. ‘Sakṣin’ comes from
‘sa’ meaning ‘with’ plus ‘akṣi’, meaning ‘eye’, so ‘a witness’. It is
defined in the Kaivalya Upaniṣad as Śiva.
In the three states of consciousness whatever appears as the object
of enjoyment or the enjoyer or the enjoyment, I am different from
them, the witness, pure consciousness, the eternal Śiva. (I.18)
In an elevating conversation with a sincere devotee, Bhagavan
makes it clear that the witness here is unlike or beyond the jīva in a
state of ordinary consciousness.
Talking of the ‘witness’ should not lead to the idea that there
is a witness and something else apart from him that he is
witnessing. The ‘witness’ really means the light that illumines
the seer, the seen and the process of seeing. Before, during and
after the triads of seer, seen and seeing, the illumination exists.
It alone exists always.1
The jñānī is a witness, as described by Bhagavan.
For a realised being the Self alone is the Reality, and actions are
only phenomenal, not affecting the Self. Even when he acts he
has no sense of being an agent. His actions are only involuntary
and he remains a witness to them without any attachment.2
You also are a witness, and Bhagavan exhorts us to be just that.
This is stated beautifully in a verse from the Aṣṭavakra Gītā.
You are not the body, nor is the body yours, nor are you the doer
or the enjoyer. You are Intelligence itself, the eternal witness
and you are free. Get along happily.3
— BKC
1
Mudaliar, Devaraja, Day by Day with Bhagavan, 18-7-46.
2
Venkataramiah, M, (compl.), Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi, Talk§17.
3
Chapter 15, verse 4.

2 April - June
EDITORIAL

Who is a Genuine
Guru?

T oday there is not so much a dearth of gurus as a plethora, all


claiming that they will help you resolve whatever problem
you may have usually at a fee commensurate with their efforts and
expertise. If that is the case and many of these so called experts do
indeed command some degree of expertise, why then do we come to a
guru who apparently cannot be seen or spoken to in the normal course
of events? It does seem odd from the conventional point of view.
However, this is to miss the point because although it appears that
we choose to come to Arunachala or to choose Bhagavan Ramana as
our guru, this is not necessarily true.
Much more likely it is Bhagavan who selects us. We are attracted
to Arunachala or to the photograph of Bhagavan or words that he
may have said or written, but ultimately the power which attracts us
is not ours to decide. For who are we with our limited understanding
to comprehend the great forces at work in this world that we inhabit?
Who are we to appoint Bhagavan as our guru? Bhagavan is not a
commodity you can decide to either buy or not according to your
special status. He is not for sale on a whim as if we are doing him
a favour.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
On the contrary, Bhagavan is a fire and all who come near with
a genuine desire for enlightenment will be burnt clean of their
predispositions, vanities and ignorance.
It comes as a shock to realise that we are helpless and like Isaac
Newton, we too stand on the beach of the universe with our small
bucket and erroneously think we can fill it with the measureless
waters of reality.1 Likewise, any meaningful contact with Bhagavan
will quickly dissuade us from maintaining our misinformed sense of
our own worth.
This is what a true guru does: destroys our illusions about who
we think we are. It is a painful process and unless we are ready and
strong, we will baulk at the prospect. Anyone with a ‘healthy’ or self-
satisfied ego would run at the prospect. But those who realise there is
much more than the apparent physical reality in life, will heed the call.
Bhagavan is always calling, for that is the nature of his being. Like
a powerful light, his beam is constantly, impersonally searching the
outer darkness for those who are ready to feel and be attracted by
his magnetism. Bhagavan is a manifestation of that mighty power
Arunachala, which is not just the obvious pile of inert, sun-blasted
rocks, but the masked, invisible, living manifestation of the divine
entity that observes our childish ways and whose mystery is beyond
our superficial comprehension. We as humans have been in awe of
Arunachala for millennia. To some people who come here the hill
speaks instantly and irrevocably, they find it hard to tear themselves
away. To others it is never more than a pile of rocks. We have some
glimpses in recorded history that tells us of its antiquity.
Tirujnana Sambandar, a 7th century Tamil Saivite saint-poet,
revered Arunachaleswara in the collection of verses included in
the Tevaram, a 7th century Tamil Saiva work. Manikkavacakar, the
great 9th Century Tamil saint came to Arunachala on his pilgrimage
around Tamil Nadu and composed a famous song Tiruvempāvai
celebrating the devotion of those who lived at its base. It is clear from
1
There is a famous quote attributed to Isaac Newton. “I do not know what I may
appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on
the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or
a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered
before me.”

4 April - June
WHO IS A GENUINE GURU
his poetic outpouring that the mystery and fame of Arunachala was
well established. How long we do not know but certainly for an aeon.
Though apparently Bhagavan Ramana came out of nowhere and
brought to the attention of the world the glory of Arunachala, if we
look more closely we see that he is firmly in the rich Tamil tradition
of the Saivite nayanars (‘hounds of Siva’) and his purpose in this
life was to revivify the sanatana dharma. He made it relevant to our
modern age with all its challenges. In doing so he revealed by his
profound devotion and love of Arunachala the easy availability of
this mysterious storehouse of living knowledge.
Returning to the title of this editorial ‘Who is a Genuine Guru?’
we can say that all who guide us to a higher truth are valid gurus but
that does not mean the relationship is absolute. Like all relationships
they dissolve after serving their purpose. Even a so-called guru whose
knowledge is limited or whose ethics are suspect may play a role, if
only as an example of what not to do. We can see on the world stage
that leaders are generally good in one area but quite fallible in others.
We cannot expect people to be perfect. The same goes for gurus. That
being the case we accept what is good and leave the rest. We absorb
the nutritious aspects of the connection and move on.
There is a guru tradition which is higher than the secondary
gurus. The guru-sishya tradition or parampara or lineage is a
sacred bond that is unbreakable. The particular sampradaya (or
school) of Bhagavan Ramana is not a new one. If we read carefully
the writings or talks of Bhagavan we see that he is the incarnation
of Lord Dakshinamurti. The salient feature of this tradition is the
transmission of the highest teachings through silence. Ādi Śaṅkara
is also identified with Dakshinamurti and it was not by accident he
composed the Dakṣiṇamūrti Stotraṁ.2

2
See The Collected Works of Ramana Maharshi, p.189. ‘Sankaracharya’s Hymn to
Dakshinamurti’ (Translated from Sri Bhagavan’s Tamil rendering). The Invocation
states: “That [Lord] Sankara who appeared as Dakshinamurti to grant peace to the
great ascetics (Sanaka, Sanandana, Sanatkumara and Sanatsujata), who revealed
his real state of silence, and who has expressed the nature of the Self in this hymn,
abides in me.” See also Sadhu Natanananda’s Ramana Darsanam, Section Two,
‘As the First Guru Indicating Supreme Silence’. pp.9-10.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Why silence and not words that we can understand? What is
silence anyway?
It is worth quoting extensively from the anthropologist Lyall
Watson, who wrote in his book Elephantoms,
…reluctantly, I learned the lesson of silence.
It wasn’t easy. Western awareness insists on things as the
focus of sensation. We find it very hard to think of nothing.
Emptiness makes us uncomfortable. Silence is, more often
than not, interrupted by thoughtless applause from someone
who thinks the symphony is over. We are all a little anxious
about intervals, finding it very difficult to foster the art of the
meaningful pause. We do our best to abolish empty space, dead
air, filling it instead with clutter, forgetting that it is precisely
the nothingness between things that defines them, setting them
apart from one another.
We need to stop talking and listen. Learn to listen to silence
because the secrets often lie in the space between the sounds.
The sounds of silence.
Oriental and African notions of time and music give equal value
to object and interval. By accepting space as an area of change
and expression, they create new rhythms. It doesn’t matter that
intervals, by their very nature, are incomplete. This helps to
invite participation, allowing us to immerse ourselves, not in
notes or other concrete things, but in the silence in between.3
It is all very well to read spiritual literature but not endlessly.
There comes a point where we put into practice what we learnt at
second hand. Concepts are not going to ameliorate our suffering, only
practice can do so. Just as healing does not come from just listening
to advice or reading medical literature, but actually from applying
the medicine. When we are healed we no longer read the manual or
consume the remedy.
The first step in applying the medication is learning to listen to the
many voices inhabiting our consciousness. There is so much noise we
cannot hear ourselves think. Our task is not so much to shut up the
3
Watson, Lyall, Elephantoms, Tracking the Elephant. W.W. Norton, New York.
2002. pp.65-66.

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WHO IS A GENUINE GURU
cacophony but to carefully listen to what the voices have to say and
to do that we need to be silent and harmoniously absorb rather than
reject. We are able to understand their significance and what those
voices have to teach us. When we are conscious of a thought we can
then ask the important question: to whom does it come?
In a way it is the small things that matter. We read stories about
disciples who learn from their master by observing them in their
everyday affairs, tying their shoe laces, effortlessly pouring oil in
the lamp or eating food.4 Ultimately everything we do or say has
significance. But first we must listen.
We hear of those who claim to be in the lineage or parampara of
Bhagavan. It is a nice thought but it actually reveals an ignorance of
who Bhagavan was in history and who he is now. Firstly, Bhagavan
has never left so why the necessity to pass on the lineage? The proof
of that is the increasing number of people who come to the ashram to
receive his blessings. People are not fools and though we may behave
foolishly at times we intuitively know what is good for us. When we
bathe in the sublime light at the Samadhi we know it is not an illusion.
The proof is the profound peace we feel.
And secondly, if someone claims affiliation with Bhagavan, is it
because they wish to be immersed in the reflected glory of his name?
Is it that the truth they proclaim is insufficient and they cannot stand
on their own feet?5
Bhagavan is Bhagavan. He is unique. That is why we hunger to
be in his Presence. We too are unique but refuse to be truly who we
are, and until we do, we live in the shadow of his magnificent light.

4
A rabbi said, “I do not go to the maggid [Rabbi Dov Baer of Mezritz] in order to
hear the Torah from him, but to see how he unlaces his felt shoes and laces them up
again.” Tales of the Hasidim, The Early Masters, by Martin Buber. London, 1956,
p.107. A true master is whole in his or her life and every act is a demonstration
of their jñāna. Bhagavan Ramana invariably left his leaf plate immaculate after a
meal. Nothing was ever wasted. No gesture was superfluous.
5
There is the curious case of a Robert Adams, an American guru who asserted
that he was at Sri Ramanasramam between 1947-8 and 1952 (the dates vary in
his conversations) and that he moved closely with Bhagavan. Until such time as
there appears objective, verifiable evidence to substantiate this claim, we cannot
but come to the conclusion that his account is unreliable.

2020 7
Self-Enquiry,
Change, and the
Nature of Brahman

Ram Brown Crowell

I t is true that Bhagavan’s initial experience of the divine state, in


which he ever after remained, was spontaneously produced and not
the result of anything he read in books or practised. Yet afterwards in
those first years when he felt compelled out of compassion to answer
the questions of sincere devotees and he was shown various sacred
texts, he recognized that the teachings of Advaita Vedanta conformed
most closely to his own experience and began to express himself in
those terms, even eventually himself translating some of their texts. In
doing so Bhagavan kept to the simple essence, leaving aside complex
philosophical issues, though he was familiar enough with these to
settle questions about them that arose from time to time amongst the
learned scholar-poets like Ganapati Muni who sat at His Feet.
His teaching was simplicity itself. He pointed out that really we
have two selves – a true Self, the Atman, which exists eternally,

Ram Crowell did his doctoral work at Columbia University in Classical


Philology, then studied Sanskrit for two years at Ananda Ashram (New York),
under Dr. R.S. Mishra. He left for India in 1974 where he travelled as a sadhu
for five years in the Himalayas, India, and Nepal, meeting many saints and
masters, including Sri Anandamayi Ma, his diksha guru, and in 1998, his
Acharya guru, Sri Sarath Babuji, the renowned devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
independently of the body, and shines by its own light (svayamprakasa)
– and a false self or ego (ahamkar), which is the seat of the body-mind
complex and the personality with all its desires and attachments, and
which rises and sets with the body. Though the ego appears as an
independent, intelligent entity, it actually shines by the light it borrows
from the Self, since by itself it is jada, or inert, being only matter in
an ultra-rarified form.
All our troubles arise from wrong identification with this false
self: we take the ego as our real Self and identify with the sufferings
and limitations of the body-mind. Why does this occur? The reason
cannot be known until wrong identification ceases, when it is seen
to have been due to primal ignorance (mūlāvidyā) of our true nature
(as Atman). This is not our fault, since Advaita holds that it is a
universal limiting condition (upādhi) of our being born in human
form (jīvātman).
The solution which Bhagavan advocated for correcting our mistaken
identification of self was the practice of Self-enquiry, called ātma-
vicāra, which will be forever associated with his name. This consists
simply of asking the question, ‘Who am I?’, and allowing the ‘answer’,
in whatever form (or non-form) it may come, to arise silently as an
experience when the mind is stilled in the Heart cave (hṛdaya-guhā).
The initial goal of one’s practice is to observe how deeply
identified we are with our small self, the ego. But since our mind in
its ceaseless identification with its own thoughts can never observe
itself, something else must discern its modifications. The beauty of
Bhagavan’s teaching is that in the very act of asking, ‘Who am I?’ we
become, ipso facto, aware of our true Self in its aspect as the witness,
since it is only from its locus that our thoughts can be observed.
As its witness, we see how the mind constantly changes in terms
of our thoughts and emotions, but we realise also that what sees these
changes cannot itself be changing, even though it is very much ‘alive’
as the spiritual life-force within us. This witness-self, called sākṣī in
Sanskrit, stands as the sentinel or first appearance of the Ātman in
consciousness; from it, light of the Self (Ātma-jyoti), shines into and
illuminates the intellect (buddhi).
Bhagavan’s question, “Who am I” goes to the heart of the universal
human quest for true Self-knowledge. The first time we truly hear this

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SELF-ENQUIRY, CHANGE AND THE NATURE OF BRAHMAN
question is unforgettable – something comes alive within us, almost
akin to mantra-dīkshā, but much more dynamic. Like a sword it cuts
through the delusive attachments created in ignorance by the body-
mind, and we become aware, glowing within us, of the increasingly
spacious cave of the heart where the Self abides in peaceful awareness
as the sākṣī.
Even so, it is not so simple, for we are at sea until we begin actually
to experience the fruits of our enquiry, and the dawning wisdom of true
Self-knowledge becomes more and more stable in us (sthiti-prajñā).
Though there are exceptions as in Bhagavan’s own case, for most
of us this will occur as a gradual process over many years, if not a
lifetime. During this time we may still often fall back into old habits
of ego-identification and find ourselves subjected to our old fears
and desires, patterns and preferences, and suffer from their effects as
before – as though, despite making self-enquiry, nothing has changed.
Old habits die hard – especially ones engrained through lifetimes
– and we find the road of sādhana has many hills going up and down
so that we must continue to face the often painful effects of unwanted
change. This is perhaps especially true when the inner change we
long for – experience of Self (ātmānubhāva) – is absent or appears
‘slow’ in coming.
Here it is perhaps but natural in our sincerity to make one of
two common mistakes. The first is to think that an external change,
which is easier to make, will necessarily conduce to the deep, inner
change we seek. Thus we think that a change in job, or partner, or
country, or in worldly state – for example, renouncing the world and
taking sannyāsa – will help us to attain the goal within, and indeed
for some, in certain cases, this may be true. But to those who came
to him Bhagavan did not advise anyone to renounce the world; they
would, he said, simply be exchanging one set of clothing for another,
while the person who wore either remained the same with his tired
set of habits. Instead, his response would be invariable: who is it,
he would ask, who wants to change? Thus refocusing the seeker’s
attention back to the right object (of ātma-vicāra), rather than on
the external, passing object of the ego’s attention.
The second mistake is a variation of the first that affects even the
most dedicated and sincere sādhaka-s. This is to yield to the temptation

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MOUNTAIN PATH
to deal with the distracting impact of change by removing oneself as
far from it as possible or practicable, so as to reduce its effect on our
life. Perhaps we may go to live by a forest, or in a remote mountain
village, or holed up as a recluse in a city, ‘keeping a low profile’, giving
up society and friends, and insulating ourself as much as possible from
life’s unwanted, destabilising, outward changes. It is easy to persuade
oneself that there is a valid justification for this.
Do we not see, when writing or studying for an exam or writing a
report at the office, or even when watching television, that we turn off
other distractions, closing doors and windows if need be, and asking
others to keep quiet, so as to keep noise to a minimum and increase
our ability to concentrate upon the work (or pleasure) at hand? It
is natural to think that the same would hold true for the practice of
ātma-vicāra: our ability to enquire would increase in proportion to
our ability to lead a tension-free life and immunity from its stressful,
demanding changes.
This is of course a traditional response of spiritual life, especially
in India, to the distracting influence of worldly change. It is as old as
the Upanishads and the institution of the first renunciate order of the
Buddha himself (the Sangha); passages in many sacred texts such as
the Śrī Bhagavad Gītā lend support to it or advocate it. In itself there
is nothing wrong in this and for very many, now as in the past, it is
no doubt a wise move and well done.
But discrimination and good judgement are needed. If one’s
isolation from the world is done as a move towards a goal one feels
heartfelt attraction for and a growing experience of, then all well and
good. But if it is done more as a move away from facing a life-situation
of constant change whose demands one fears and wants to escape
from, then recourse to other options may offer a better solution from
both worldly and spiritual points of view. Here again, as Nisargadatta
Maharaj says, “motive matters supremely” and the seeker must decide
for himself or herself what their personal truth is.
There are others, whose study of Advaita texts perhaps exceeds
their experience from practice, who may become psychologically
averse or resistant to change due to a misapprehension in their
understanding of the nature of Brahman as given by Sankara. It is
true in his commentaries on the Gītā and Brahma Sutra that Sankara

12 April - June
SELF-ENQUIRY, CHANGE AND THE NATURE OF BRAHMAN
gives pride of place to the nirguṇa (formless) aspect of Brahman
over its saguṇa aspect (with form) – which for Sankara has only a
provisional (prātibhāsika) reality, being finally illusory (mithyā) as a
product of avidyā-Māyā. This is Brahman’s mysterious, inexplicable
(anirvacanīya) power of making things appear other than they are –
i.e., as many instead of One (a-dvaita). This leads Sankara to discount
Brahman with Form, including the universe, God, and other selves
(jīva-s), since these are for him but appearances destined to disappear,
in favour of the Formless Brahman to which he assigns ontological
priority since it is beyond the illusory realm of Māyā.
Sankara thus holds that the highest mukti for the jīva is the direct
experience of nirguṇa Brahman which occurs through the sublation
(bādha) of all forms in nirvikalpa samādhi, rather than the experience
of identity (aikya) with some form of Brahman, such as a personal God
like Krishna or Rama, in savikalpa samādhi. It is this philosophical
bias in Sankara toward the unchanging, formless aspect of Brahman
that some may carry over into their personal lives. They may feel
that change – or whatever changes – is unreal, secondary, and of
less importance than trying to distinguish, and live in, a changeless
substratum behind appearances, which then becomes a feature of their
spiritual practice (sādhana).
But just because something changes doesn’t make it less real: there
is in fact nothing that doesn’t change, nothing absolutely at rest, in the
entire universe: transformation is at the heart of all creation. Brahman
is utterly dynamic through and through. He is, in his ever-new light and
joy, the source of all change itself: where else could alteration come
from, since everything comes from Him only? What doesn’t change
is Brahman’s own nature as remaining identical with itself: as Being,
as Himself, Brahman is utterly at rest. If this sounds paradoxical, it
is – Brahman is unique: there is nothing else like Brahman.
Unlike milk, for instance, which can change into curd, or a seed
which becomes a tree, Brahman, while apparently sponsoring all
forms, remains ever identical with Himself just as water remains water
even as ice, waves, or moisture. Where is there room, so to speak, for
Brahman to change? Brahman is all that is – all forms and whatever
is beyond form exist solely in or as Brahman qua Being (Sat) itself
– there is no other. In this context, we may recall Bhagavan’s own

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MOUNTAIN PATH
remark when devotees lamented his impending passing: “Why do
you grieve? I am not going anywhere – where else is there for me to
go?” So, while in itself the identity of Brahman qua Brahman does
not change, the paradox is that Brahman is forever changing. If this
still seems strange to us we have only to remember and consider the
unique, paradoxical nature of our own consciousness.
For is not the bicameral nature of Brahman perfectly mirrored
in the two-fold nature of our own consciousness, even as Bhagavan
taught? One part as the ego with its thoughts and feelings is constantly
changing, while another part as the witness of these changes remains
ever the same with itself. For instance, do we not feel our consciousness
is the same now as it was as far back as we can remember? That
the core of our self-identity as self-aware consciousness has been
continuously the same?
And yet, has not this consciousness, while being absolutely at rest
as itself, at the same time been ever dynamic as the vital, ever-radiant
light of awareness and attention within us, lighting up, as it were,
every thought, every feeling, every action of our minds and hearts?
How is this simultaneous, two-fold nature possible? How can it be
rationally described to the mind? It cannot. From it, as from Brahman
itself, “words fall back” as the Taittirīya Upaniṣad says (II.9.1), for the
mind being finite can never understand the nature of Brahman which
is infinite. Alfred North Whitehead observed in another context, “No
reason can be given for the nature of God, because that nature itself
is the ground of rationality.”
When we understand that there is something very real deep within
us which, unlike everything else, while absolutely dynamic, is not
subject to change, we begin to recognize the true nature of our Self.
According to some commentators, the Sanskrit term for this Self, the
Ātman, derives from the verbal root ‘at’ – to eat. So Ātman would
mean, ‘eater of thoughts’ (+ ‘man’ from the verbal root, ‘to think’).
There could be no better etymology, for that which ‘eats’ even mind
itself can only be our true nature. Thus to realise this Self is indeed
Self-realisation.
Even so, though we seek to modify the circumstances of our lives
and be comfortable within ourselves, we are in general afraid of
change. Although we are aware each moment is unique, we resist it
because we continually repeat in our ignorant way our old familiar

14 April - June
SELF-ENQUIRY, CHANGE AND THE NATURE OF BRAHMAN
patterns and conditionings, our vāsanā-s. When everything is
unaltered we feel secure. Actually all we do is freeze our perception
into a tight band of limited consciousness. We insulate ourselves from
adjustment and dwell in the delusion that our unchanged existence
replicates the nature of Brahman. We have seen that it does not. By
reinforcing our conditioning it actually weakens and diminishes our
ability to cope with the transformation that is at the heart of all life.
Thus we retard our spiritual progress and remain bound by our own
conditionings, we neither grow nor expand. Our spiritual knowledge
and experience likewise remain limited by our not allowing ourselves
to accept and be fully open to change. 
A Lesson : Corinthians 13
Geetha Ravichandran
Love was actually Greek to me.
And though I knew
many metaphors
to express fine sentiments,
it had to be pared down
to fit through a pinhole called heart.
Sometimes it seemed to be,
just a sport, sometimes a craft
– dabbling with colours
to brighten a drab canvas.
Till the lesson at the doorstep-
to remain kind, to remain calm
to keep no record of all
that went wrong.
Through the pinhole called heart,
rises the vision of the fiery red hill
covered with jade grass.
And in the molten light –
a laughing thrush sings,
to a swollen river.

2020 15
Nammalvar:
The Small and
the Large
Sharada Bhanu

The term alvar means one who has dived deep in the ocean of the
lord. Twelve alvars, poet saints devoted to Vishnu, are celebrated
according to tradition and Nammalvar (8th to 9th century CE) is the
chief. He is regarded with such reverence that his images are installed
in South Indian Vishnu temples and his name, Satagopan, is given to
the representation of the feet of the lord. He was born in Tamil Nadu
in Kurukur(today known as Alvartirunagari) to a peasant family of the
Vellala caste. He composed four works of which the Tiruvaymoli is the
most important. His poetry had a profound influence on Vaishnavite
theology. Madhurakavi alvar was the disciple of Nammalvar. By
birth a Brahmin, he was older than Nammalvar and well versed
in the scriptures. Only eleven verses by him exist and they are in
celebration of his guru. One of them describes not Krishna but the
depth of emotion with which his master, Nammalvar would narrate
an incident in the life of Krishna. Yashoda, unable to watch over the
mischievous infant, took a piece of string and tried to tie the baby to
the pounding stone. The string was a little too short. She attached
another piece but it proved again too short. She attached piece after
piece but the string stayed – just a little – inadequate. When she

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paused baffled and defeated, the lord in compassion to his mother,
allowed himself to be tied and the infinitely large brought itself within
the confines of the small.
All translations are taken from the classic A K Ramanujan’s Hymns
for the Drowning: Poems for Visnu by Nammalvar, essential reading
for anyone seeking an insight into the bhakti movement and the poetry
of Nammalvar.

D rawn by a light in the sky the ideal disciple Madhurakavi came


to Kurukur from Kashi and found it led to the silent boy in the
hollow of a tamarind tree. A living mystery, unmoving and apparently
mute, he had eaten nothing since birth. Named Maran by his parents
he would come to be known as the most celebrated of the Alvars
– Nammalvar. What did the seeker Madhurakavi want to know?
Whether the entity he was addressing was indeed the living home
of the infinite, a sat guru? Did he hope to find out how this person
could live without motion or sleep or food? Did he need to understand
the relationship between matter and spirit, the visible and invisible,
the temporal and the infinite? Madhurakavi asked the boy a riddling
question which covered all these issues and would have taken a sage
to understand and a jnani to answer: ‘When the small is born in the
stomach of the dead what does it eat and where does it rest?’ The boy,
till then silent, replied ‘That it will eat and there it will rest!’ The ‘dead’
has been interpreted to mean matter (prakriti), and the ‘small’, subtle
spirit, either the individual soul, jiva (the conventional explanation)
or the infinite One, Ishwara. The answer, as with all of Nammalvar’s
work copes with the philosophical issue for all time, as well as makes
sense for the moment in which it is uttered. ‘That’ (any object further
away, not this) and ‘there’ (a place that is further off, not here) are
terms that point away from the speaker, into the distance. They are
both general terms as well as capable of being utterly specific as they
would have been if Nammalvar had actually pointed to objects before
him (that place/object out there). Do the words ‘there’ and ‘that’ in
this answer point to rock or tree or man or animal (specific)? Or to
the whole visible world (general)? Or do they point nowhere, to the
utterly invisible and unlocated (general)? Or both? The answer to
this depends on the level of the seeker’s spiritual evolution – if he/

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NAMMALVAR: THE SMALL AND THE LARGE
she has reached a certain level of understanding, the one spirit will
be seen everywhere, though confined nowhere. If he/she is ignorant,
the answer will make no sense and the Infinite will remain as if NOT
there – invisible and unlocated. To turn to the question of what the
spirit eats – the hearer Madhurakavi is challenged to understand
that the infinite eats everything outside this speaker, including him,
Madhurakavi himself. If he accepts this answer, believes it and makes
it his own, it must now echo in his heart. The spirit eats me and
everything outside me, including the one who answered, this sage
under the tree.
Many commentators have realized that the question posed by
Madhurakavi was really a test by which the seeker was probing the
master. Madhurakavi was wordlessly asking, ‘Are you the guru I
seek and can you understand and be the answer to my question?’
Nammalvar was replying, ‘Yes, if you are the disciple for whom I
have been waiting and can understand and live the answer I give.’ The
central paradox remains – Nammalvar points away from himself but
he is the goal of the quester. When Madhurakavi falls at the feet of the
Master his action indicates that the disciple has proved his own worth,
found his guru, lost himself in surrender and received and ingested
his answer. The infinite feeds on you and me and everything; it rests
in you and me and everywhere.
This article explores the possibility that the poems in Tiruvaymoli
constitute an expanded answer to Madhurakavi’s question – if the
subtle spirit is born inside dead matter what does IT eat and where does
IT rest? Most devotees need to hear the truth not just once but over
and over again, to recite it, sing it, to live it, before it becomes theirs.
Hence the poems explore the answer from multiple perspectives.
To begin with there are poems which see Viṣṇu as Creator. Is the
subtle born of the dead at all?
In that original moment
Our lord and father
1
The Tiruvaymoli consists of 1102 verses/poems arranged in tens and grouped by
compilers into hundreds. This number indicates that the poem is the ninth in the
fourth decad of the seventh hundred poems. The last word of each poem is the first
word of the next; thus the whole work can be read as a single poem, celebrating
the endless variety of the One indivisible spirit.

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Made earth, water, fire, wind, / And sky
And the mountains… 7.4.9.1
The poet includes in his list of created things the sun, moon, and
rain, ‘all that lives by rain and the gods of rain.’ In a single moment
inert matter and living beings have emerged from the subtle, not the
other way round. If the subtle seems to have emerged out of the inert
this is merely an illusion generated by the
master of illusions…form and breath of all things. 2.3.2.
You dwell in heaven/stand on the sacred mountain
sleep on the ocean/roll around in the earth. 6.9.5.
Having created, the subtle has not withdrawn from his creation but
remains infused and indivisible. Is matter itself just thing, ‘sethathu’,
dead and inert? In poems 2.1.4,5 and 6 the poet assuming the persona
of a love-lorn girl, addresses the north wind, sky and moon, wondering
if they too are ‘perishing for love of him’. This is no mere pathetic
fallacy or even graceful conformity to a convention in the aham
tradition of Sangam poetry. At one level, the speaker’s passion has
infused her own love into the universe. But such overwhelming
devotion provides a gateway to the truth – the Lord is
the three worlds in all their beauty. 7.6.4.
What does the one spirit eat? The answer offered in poem after
poem is ‘The earth, the sea and me’. The Lord is thought to be lying
on the ocean of milk, his repeated descents to earth are narrated in
his avatars and he is worshipped in various cities and temples in the
form of an icon. Thus he seems to be small, contained by earth and
water. However the hidden truth is that he is the large and contains,
‘eats’, the earth, sea and the speaker. The myth that is used here is
the one of baby Krishna swallowing mud. His mother Yashoda has
caught him in the act and makes him open his mouth and sees not the
tell-tale evidence she expects, but a vision of the world.
Pure one/ you devoured once
the sea-surrounded world. 6.2.7.
In this well-known incident in the childhood of Krishna, a
scene that is endearing, domestic, common and trivial suddenly
metamorphoses into the cosmic and the immense. The lord opens
his mouth to reveal to his stunned mother that he contains the whole

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MOUNTAIN PATH
universe and by implication, her also. The child who seems to be a
tiny and negligible mite on the immense earth has now swallowed
it whole and contains it within himself. Thus siriyathu, the subtle,
eats everything that exists. Child and cosmos-swallower coalesce in
a poem that simultaneously answers what it eats and where it rests:
Ruling three worlds,/ devouring them altogether,
my lord rests on a banyan leaf:
darker than the sea,
Kannan,
child perching on my hip. 1.9.4.
He is both ruler and consumer. He rests on sea and land, solid and
liquid. In Vaishnavaite theology the lord is believed to be present as
para, beyond everything, in his incarnations, or avatars, in his arca
or icons and as antaryamin, the indweller who pervades all creation.
Vishnu in his transcendent form is pictured lying on the ocean of
milk. He is like the earth in being sea-surrounded and like the sea in
his colour (therefore separate) but it is also true that as devourer, as
raincloud and wedded to Bhudevi, he is the sea and the earth (therefore
one). He is an avatar in mythological space as well as this small child
now, here on the speaker’s hip.
In Vaishnavaite theology the lord is believed to be present as para,
beyond everything, as vyuha, manifesting auspicious qualities and
generating the processes of creation, in vibhava, his incarnations, or
avatars, as antaryamin, the indweller who pervades all creation and in
arca or his icons. If he were outside, he could be reached, if separate he
could be served, adored, attained. By presenting himself as avatar and
icon he graciously allows this easy access. But there is a fundamental
illogic in such propositions which is indomitably laid bare. In poem
1.8.7 the subtle is first identified as the hero and conqueror of legend
who ‘took the seven bulls by the horns’ (the lord is outside the speaker
in a public, mythological space). The lord moves everything and
everyone into himself when represented next as the devourer of ‘the
seven worlds’ (he is still technically outside, but we and the worlds
are food, inside). Then the speaker moves from general to particular,
para (transcendent) to antaryamin (indweller). By (revealing his
presence within) the lord ‘made me his own cool place/ in heaven’.
The speaker contains the lord in himself so has become the space

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where the lord resides, Vaikuntam (outside, to the Lord inside). But
the point about eating is that food is ingested, absorbed. From the
spatial, Nammalvar moves to the mental and immaterial ‘and (the
lord) thought of me/what I thought of him’. Osmosis. If they are two,
they are flowing into each other. ‘And became my own thoughts’. In
this stage, the speaker has been ingested and obliterated; but it is also
fact that he has completely absorbed the Divine.
This structure moving from mythological to experiential, outside
to inside, public to private, can be seen as representing the story of
any seeker’s gradual spiritual development. The devotee may begin
by worshipping the lord as one outside him, as an image, for instance,
and progress to finding he is an ever-present inner experience. But
it can also be interpreted as a world view in which, extraordinary as
it may seem, the myth, the ordinary facts of daily existence and the
transcendent passionate inner experience, all happen simultaneously
and occupy the same order of reality. To the speaker, baby Krishna
eating earth is a fact, not myth or even a historical event in the remote
past. It not merely represents, connects to, validates and supports
the inner experience of being possessed and consumed, it is that
experience. The mental attitude is – ‘Krishna ate earth and revealed
the universe inside his mouth. I find myself in the world. So right now
I am inside him being eaten and consumed. One with him.’ The myth
has literal, immediate, personal reality. This kind of belief is usually
impossible for the lukewarm devotee.
Is it possible to say that the subtle is only Ishwara or merely jiva?
As another poem defiantly states,
My lord…came here today…entered me…I’ve caught
him/the big bellied one…I contain him now. 10.8.2 .
This is a mutual breaching of boundaries. Interpenetrated, they
eat each other. In 8.7.9, every line of which begins ‘Vayiṭril koṇḍu’,
‘Having taken into his stomach’ the focus is on the abdomen as
connected to digestion and gestation.
My dark one
Stands there as if nothing’s / Changed
After taking entire / Into his maw
All three worlds
The gods/ And the good kings

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Who hold their lands / As a mother would
A child in her womb –
And I / By his leave / Have taken him entire
And I have him in my belly
For keeps. 8.7.9
The belly contains and consumes food but can also hold a baby
which is protected, nourished and cherished. The inference would be
that the Lord consumes, loves and protects the worlds and his subjects.
The devotee feeds on, loves and cherishes, with triumph and elation,
the Lord within.
One can also look at the Tiruvaymoli as a response to the second
part of Madhurakavi’s question – where does he rest or exist, enge
kidakkum? At one level the poems have simple answers – the Divine
is present reclining on the ocean of milk. He is in his own heavenly
city, Vaikuntam. He is in each of his avatars which are both events
in the historical past and enact themselves again and again in the
devotee’s life and heart. He is the boar tossing up the earth with his
tusks (7.4.3), Rama destroying the island, ‘demon carcasses falling
in hundreds’ (7.4.7), etc. He is in his temples and temple cities, in
Vaikuntam, Dwaraka, Maliruncholai, and others; in the saint’s own
hometown of Kurukur. He is present in his beloved form, with discus
and conch and is readily available in his arca or worshipable image.
Again and again, with love the poet dwells on this: ‘his body dark as
thundercloud/feet covered with flowers/and anklets of war.’ 8.10.2.
In distress, the helpless can turn to this never-failing shelter: ‘think of
the lord’s feet and live.’ 4.1.1. The divine lives in his devotees; ‘the
gods bow down before them.’ 3.5.8. and the speaker doubts whether
even heaven can provide the joy he feels ‘right here in this world’
when worshipping ‘at the feet of his men.’ 8.10.2.
However, the most profound answer of Tiruvaymoli is that the one
spirit lives in everything. This depth of awareness communicated by
the alvar leads to an extension and modification of every statement
in the previous paragraph. He is in Vaikuntam (and the speaker is
Vaikuntam and Venkatam too); he is in his own temples (and also
the temples of all other gods); he is in his avatars (and in millions of
beings who are therefore also avatars); he is in his icon (and in the
mountain, unshaped stone); he is in his worshippers (and all other

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people). Thus, the poet claims, ‘He rests in the earth, sea and me. In
the earth, also the sea/space which contains the earth. In me who am
contained by the earth and sea and therefore inside him, but since he
is inside me I contain him.’ Joy, freedom, peace and wisdom lie in
not merely understanding and accepting, but living this knowledge.
The Vamana Trivikrama avatar where Vishnu shrank into the divine
dwarf and then at the appropriate moment he enlarged his little body
till it measured all the three worlds is a key to understanding spatial
issues and the implicit answer to ‘where does it rest’. The subtle and
little expands to swallow up everything that exists. In poem 8.10.3.,
the speaker wonders whether he (both little in eminence and being
embodied) would care to dematerialise and enlarge himself to enter
the infinitely subtle fragrance, the feet of the Lord, when the great
servants of the Lord, his masters, have taken on little human lives
and are content to roam the world. Since the lesson Mahabali had to
learn was one of humility, one can appreciate the dilemma implicit in
the question. Even to seek stillness and a loss of identity in reverently
joining the feet of the lord may be an act of ahankara when the great
have become embodied, and work humbly in the world. Mahabali
himself may be regarded as a mighty emperor trodden underfoot
(moving from great to small) or egoistic asura redeemed by the touch
of the Lord’s feet (small into great). From another point of view, small
into large and large into small are all part of the infinite play of the
Lord and therefore the dynamics are replicated in the devotee too,
who has no existence apart from the Infinite.
When I didn’t know a thing
You made me love / Your service
Mixing inseparably /with my soul
when I /your servant
was in the illusion of unknowing
you dwarf incognito
who once said to great Bali
“give me space / Just three steps”
And cheated him of everything
Before anyone knew. 2.3.3.
The dwarf, the subtle is always in disguise; the spiritual life
begins with the divine asking for just a little space in our lives; a few

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moments; just a leaf or a flower. The individual complies and before
he knows it the dwarf is a pillar stretching into space and has taken
over his whole life. Thus the vamana avatar plays itself out in the
devotee’s experience. However the devotee’s unknowing itself may
be an illusion. He is after all, the supreme fact. Several poems return
to the word ninra translated as ‘he stands there’. A K Ramanujan in
his Afterword on page 24 to his translation of Nammalvar’s poems
elucidates, ‘The Lord is one, becomes many, yet remains one….ninra-
tu means ‘that which is permanent, immovable, remainder, as standing
over…’ though he has become and is all things…he is not them – he
‘stands there’ apart.’ The image suggests the fixity of the icon in
the temple as well as the towering stature of Vamana/Trivikrama
(‘dwarf… becoming oblivion, memory…becoming every act…and
every consequence… you stand there’ 7.8.6.) The phrase captures the
stillness of Being of the Lord, that which remains, discounting all his
varied becomings, his endless names and forms, his bewildering fusion
of opposites. He is untouched by the qualities of all his creations. If
the universe itself were consumed in a ‘roaring meal of chaos’ 7.4.4,
the Lord, its eater, would still be there. This completes the answer to
‘enge kidakkum’.
So is siriyatu, the subtle, jiva or Ishwara? The two are not the same
thus validating worship, the service of devotee to Master, the relation
of bhakti between seeker and the Lord and the humility of the finite
towards the infinite. But the infinite cannot be seen as separate either,
as it has eaten, occupied, permeated, taken over the finite which has
no existence apart from the infinite.
It’s true
Even I am you /even the unbearable hell
of this world
is you
this being so /what’s the difference?
One may go to paradise /And reach perfect joy
Or go the other way / And fall into hell
Yet I being I / Even when I remember
I am you
I still fear hell:
Lord in perpetual paradise
Let me be at your feet. 8.1.9

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This poem copes with the terrifying but perfectly logical inferences
that have to be made after the lord takes the devotee over. The
commonplace devotee hopes to avoid hell and get to paradise someday,
probably after death when he will have discarded an inconvenient body
and purified an imperfect mind. The problem with this mindset, is that
fulfillment is perpetually postponed to the future and the present life is
an accommodation to the hell of body, mind and samsara. Living the
lord’s presence makes nonsense of ‘becoming’ in its overwhelming
‘here and now’. To someone in the grip of paramabhakti there is really
no ‘I’ and no ‘World’ however hellish, that is separate from the lord.
It is well understood in multiple royal traditions that the court is not
a building any more than Vaikuntam is a palace in the sky. The court
is where the king is. If the King of kings chooses to reveal to you
his presence either within or without then you are in Vaikuntam. So
at the core of Being, when the devotee is in the presence of the lord,
there is no difference between paradise and hell.
The omnipresence of the lord cancels opposites such as good
and evil, rising and falling, heaven and hell. Having undergone a
terrifying expansion in the first two lines, the speaker takes refuge
from these implications by shrinking again into a limited self which
is still troubled by a human fear of hell and finds relief in surrender,
occupying the safe space at the Lord’s feet.
The poet knows he has been taken over, possessed, his words
are not his, but uttered by the divine. This is not humility or worse,
concealed egoism. It records experiential fact.
Lord of all
You already know my song
My poem / My feeling
Indweller of eyes O inward of my heart
My words / Come
Say something. 7.1.6.
It is an axiom now taught to school children, that ancient Tamil
was three-fold; never existing as merely words on a page but living
simultaneously as literature, song and performance. Thus the ‘I’ of
the poems must be understood as never the poet alone but always the
speaker/reader/chanter. In every reading or recitation, belief and love
facilitate an act of appropriation: ‘O inward of my heart, my words’.

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The poems not merely deliver a living personal message to an ever-
new audience, they move in, possess, become food, create their own
space and speak themselves through ‘other’mouths.
It is important to remember that while Madhurakavi asked a
question with deep spiritual implications, the relationship between
large and small, matter and life, he was also dealing with basics.
Everyone needs to eat and occupy a little space. So what…? Where…?
The reply of Nammalvar to Madhurakavi lies not in the words alone
but in the vital interaction between master and disciple, which
brings them into relation with each other and the world. In the act of
answering, Nammalvar has replied to another unspoken question: ‘You
think I am motionless, like a statue, but the divine having activated
your steps, moves in me. See, I move now. You think I am speechless
but the divine, having inspired your words, now speaks through me.
You think I am ‘out there’, but I am also ‘in here’, inside you. My
words have moved in. You think I don’t eat but I have ingested the
divine One who has already swallowed me.
You, me and everyone/everything. One and a community.’
The name Satakopan given to Nammalvar means one who at birth
with ‘kopa’ angrily rejected the ‘sata’ the descending veil of vasanas,
limiting tendencies from past births. With no such tendencies to
structure his experience the alvar is ever immersed in the infinite.
Is the sadguru the One? Or does he merely point the disciple to the
One? Or does he both function by pointing forward and enlighten by
losing himself in the Infinite? Nammalvar’s answer with deep humility
points away – That it eats and There it rests. However the answer seals
the matter for the questing Madhurakavi – this is the one he seeks.
Apparently he remained at the beloved feet of his master, worshipping
Narayana himself only in the one who plumbed the depths, his alvar.

28 April - June
The Paramount
Importance of Self
Attention
Part Thirty Three
Sadhu Om
as recorded by Michael James

6th December 1978


Question: If this waking state is a dream, how to explain the fact
that each time we wake up we are in the same surroundings that
we were in when we fell asleep, whereas in each dream we are in
different surroundings?
Sadhu Om: We should not consider each period of waking to be a
separate dream. The whole of our present waking-life, from birth to
death, is one long dream, not many short ones. In this one dream we
dream that we are now awake, but that this waking state is regularly
interrupted by periods of sleep, and that sleep is sometimes interrupted
by dreams. Those dreams are subsidiary to the one long dream of
our present waking like. They are dreams occurring within a dream.

Michael James assisted Sri Sadhu Om in translating Bhagavan’s Tamil


writings and Guru Vācaka Kōvai. Many of his writings and translations
have been published, and some of them are also available on his website,
happinessofbeing.com.

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The fact that dreams occur within a dream is illustrated by what
many of us have experienced, namely waking up from one dream
into another. That is, sometimes a dream comes to an end and we
find ourself lying in our bed, so we think we have woken up and
begin to go about our daily activities, but then we wake up again and
realise that the first ‘waking’ was from one dream into another dream.
Within a dream we can dream any number of subsidiary dreams, and
within each subsidiary dream we can dream other dreams. Therefore
whatever dreams we may dream during our present life are just dreams
within a dream.
Question: A friend told me that you had once explained to him that
in a dream it is not the seer of the dream who projected it but the one
who is sleeping, because the seer of the dream is part of the projection,
but this does not seem to me to be correct, because we are both the
dreamer and the seer. Is this what you actually said?
Sadhu Om: He misunderstood what I said. I did not say that the
seer of a dream has not projected it but that the person we seem to
be in a dream has not projected it. That person is not the seer but an
object seen by us, so it is part of the projection. However, because
we mistake ourself to be that person so long as we are dreaming, it
seems to us that that person is seeing the dream world.
The same is the case in our present dream. We who are seeing this
dream now seem to be a person in it, so this person seems to us to be
the seer, even though it is actually an object seen by us. This is why
we need to distinguish the seer from everything that is seen. Whatever
person we seem to be is just a body and mind, which are objects seen
by us, so as the seer of these objects we are distinct from them.
The dreamer of any dream is only ego. As ego we project each
dream and see it. Projection and seeing are actually one and the same
thing. This is why Bhagavan taught us dṛṣṭi-sṛṣṭi-vāda, according to
which seeing (dṛṣṭi) is itself creation (sṛṣṭi). Whatever we see is just
our own thoughts, which we create and see simultaneously, because
we create or project a dream merely by seeing it in our own mind.
However, this explanation is not agreeable to everyone, because
if we are strongly attached to the person we seem to be, we will not
be willing to accept that this person and the world of which it is a

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THE PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE OF SELF ATTENTION
part are all just thoughts projected by us. Therefore different levels
of explanation need to be given to suit different levels of spiritual
maturity. For the more immature it is said that this world is created
by God, and we are just a part of this creation, so it exists whether we
see it or not. This is sṛṣṭi-dṛṣṭi-vāda, the contention that the world is
first created and subsequently seen by us.
Many advaita texts and commentaries seem to support this view,
and sometimes even Bhagavan gave replies that seem to support it,
but they did so only to suit the needs of less mature minds. This is
why many who claim to be advaitins do not accept that our present
waking life is just a dream, and they can find plenty of support for
their beliefs in ancient texts and commentaries.
For example, in the Māṇḍūkya Upaniṣad it is said that this ātman
is brahman, but that it has four quarters. The first quarter is called
vaiśvānara, whose domain is waking and who is aware of external
objects, whereas the second quarter is called taijasa, whose domain
is dream and who is aware of internal objects. This implies that
waking is not just a dream, and that what experiences waking and
what experiences dream are in some way different, even though they
are said to be two quarters of the same ātman.
If we consider our experience carefully, it will be clear to us that
we who are now experiencing this present state, which seems to us
to be waking, are the same ‘I’ who experienced all the dreams that
we now remember, so why does the Māṇḍūkya Upaniṣad imply that
the experiencer of this state is different to the experiencer of dream?
Though we are the experiencer of both these states, we are now
aware of ourself as if we were this body, whereas in any other dream
we were aware of ourself as if we were some other body. Therefore,
for those who are very strongly identified with their body and who
consequently believe that what is perceiving this world is this body,
the Māṇḍūkya Upaniṣad says that what perceives a dream is something
other than the person we now seem to be. However, to indicate that
the experiencers of each of these two states are not entirely different,
it says metaphorically that what experiences waking is one quarter
of ourself and what experiences dream is another quarter of ourself.
This is therefore a preliminary teaching, intended to prepare people
to accept deeper and subtler teachings in due course.

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Unlike the Māṇḍūkya Upaniṣad, which distinguishes the
experiencer of dream from the experiencer of waking, when I
explained to that friend that the person we seem to be in a dream has
not projected it, I did not imply that the experiencer of dream is in any
way different to the experiencer of waking, firstly because what we
now take to be waking is actually just a dream, and secondly because
we who experience all dreams are one and the same ego. This one ego
is the dreamer of all dreams, and dreaming entails both projecting and
perceiving a dream. The point I was making is that we, the dreamer,
are not whatever person we dream ourself to be. The person we seem
to be in a dream is a part of our dream, so it is not the dreamer but
something dreamt by us.
This is what Bhagavan implies in verse 160 of Guru Vācaka Kōvai:
The spurious being who roams about as ‘I’ is just something
that occurs as one among the shadows [images or pictures].
The term he uses here to mean ‘spurious being’ is ‘pōli uyir’, in
which pōli means spurious, false, imitation or seeming, and uyir
means more or less the same as the Sanskrit term jīva, namely life,
living being or soul, but here it is not used in the sense of ego but
in the sense of a living being or person, because ego is the formless
seer whereas the person it mistakes to be ‘I’ is an object seen by it,
so Bhagavan says here that this person is ‘one among the shadows’,
thereby comparing it to one among the shadow pictures on a cinema
screen.
It is necessary for several reasons to clearly understand this
distinction between ourself, the dreamer, and whatever person we
dream ourself to be. Firstly, it explains why, though we are the
creator of all that we see, we seem to have no control over what we
are creating, because as soon as we begin to dream any dream, we
mistake ourself to be a person in our dream, and thus we seem to be
just a small part of our creation. In other words, instead of experiencing
ourself as the creator, we now experience ourself as a creature, and
as such we have no control over our own creation.
Secondly and most importantly, we need to distinguish ourself, the
seer, from everything we see, including the person we seem to be,
because unless we do so, we will not be able to effectively investigate

32 April - June
THE PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE OF SELF ATTENTION
what we actually are. In order to investigate ourself, we need to focus
our entire attention on ourself, thereby withdrawing it from everything
else, so to do so we need to understand clearly that we are just the
seer and not anything seen by us.
By attending to anything that is seen, we are nourishing and
sustaining ego, whereas if we attend to ourself, the seer, ego will
subside and dissolve back into its source. Then we will see that we
are not even the seer, but only the pure awareness from which the
seer and everything seen by it appear and into which they disappear.
Sadhu Om: Someone once asked Bhagavan whether devotees
who had spent time with him but later left him or even turned against
him, such as Perumal Swami, who put a court case against him, had
wasted the precious opportunity they had been given. He replied that
their association with him cannot go in vain. Even the worst of people
will be benefitted by such association, because the seed of bhakti and
vairāgya will thereby be sown in their heart, so though it may not
sprout immediately, in due course it will certainly sprout, grow and
bear fruit. It may take more time, but it can never fail.
Sadhu Om [talking to a devotee of Bhagavan who understood very
little about his teachings]: We all read about Bhagavan’s teachings in
various books, and thereby we understand something, but mere casual
reading is not sufficient. We need to think about them very carefully
and deeply. This is called manana, which is a necessary prerequisite
for effectively practising what he taught us. The more deeply we
immerse ourself in his teachings, the more we will learn from them.
What he has taught us is very simple but nevertheless extremely deep
and subtle, so we can understand them only to the extent that we think
deeply about them and put them into practice.
The more we think about his teachings and try to practise them, the
more clarity he will give us from within, and thus we will gradually
come to understand from our own experience that his silent teaching
is always going on in our heart, but that we need to turn within to
experience it. Even though he has left his body, he is still guiding
us as effectively as he did during his bodily lifetime. We come to
understand this clearly as a result of his silent presence in our heart.
If we spend our whole life studying and thinking about his
teachings, our life will not have been wasted. Even if we are unable

2020 33
MOUNTAIN PATH
to go sufficiently deep in the practice of self-investigation and self-
surrender, if we go deep in contemplating his teachings, that will be
a worthwhile and fruitful way to spend our life. Meditating on his
teachings is a good practice of guru-bhakti, second only to actually
practising them, because the more deeply we think about them, the
more clearly we will understand them, and the more we understand
them, the more our love to put them into practice will grow.
If we truly love Bhagavan, we will love his teachings. From love
comes knowledge. The more we love him and his teachings, the more
we will dwell on them; the more we dwell on them, the more we will
understand them; the more we understand them, the more effectively
we will be able to practise self-investigation and self-surrender;
and the more effectively we practise them, the more clarity of true
knowledge will shine brightly in our heart. This is why he said that
bhakti [love] is the mother of jñāna [true knowledge]. 
(To be continued)

MOUNTAIN PATH
Statement about ownership and other particulars about Mountain Path (according to
Form IV, Rule 8, Circular of the Registrar of Newspapers for India).

1. Place of Publication – Tiruvannamalai; 2. Periodicity of its Publication – Quarterly;


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Private Ltd., 4/641, 12th Link Street, 3rd Cross Road, Nehru Nagar, Kottivakkam (OMR),
Chennai 600 041; 4. Publisher’s Name – Sri. V.S. Ramanan; Nationality - Indian; Address
– Sri Ramanasramam, Sri Ramanasramam PO., Tiruvannamalai 606 603; 5. Editor’s Name
– Sri. V.S.Ramanan; Nationality – Indian; Address – Sri Ramanasramam, Tiruvannamalai;
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holding more than 1% of the total capital – SRI RAMANASRAMAM, Tiruvannamalai.

I, V.S. Ramanan, hereby declare that the particulars given above are true to the best of my
knowledge and belief. 31/03/2020

34 April - June
KEYWORD
Darpaṇa/ādarśa:
Mirror
B.K. Croissant

Part One
Tripurā Rahasya or The Mystery Beyond the Trinity is an ancient
scripture of indeterminate date, perhaps somewhere between the Tenth
and Fifteenth Centuries A.D., that had great popularity through the
ages.1 There are several original manuscripts in Sanskrit that have been
translated into various languages, and many Indian spiritual traditions
claim it as an important text. According to Major A.W. Chadwick,
“Tripurā Rahasya was considered by Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi
as one of the greatest works that expounded Advaita philosophy. He
often quoted from it and regretted that it was not available in English.
As a consequence Sri Munagala Venkataramiah took up the work of
translation in 1936 as another labour of love, adding just one more
English translation to his already extensive store.”2
1
For approximate dates and other interesting observations, see the introduction to La
doctrine secrète de la Déesse Tripurā, a translation with notes by Michel Hulin.
2
Tripurā Rahasya or The Mystery Beyond the Trinity, translated by Munagala S.
Venkataramiah, pp. v-vi. Other translations in English include Tripurārahasyam:
The Secret Beyond the Three Cities, original text in Sanskrit with translation and
notes by Samvid; Śakti Sādhanā: A Translation of the Tripurā Rahasya by Pandit
Rajmani Tiguniat; and Tripurā-Rahasya: English Translation and a Comparative
Study of the Process of Individuation by A.U. Vasavada.

B.K. Croissant first encountered Bhagavan in 1993. She retired in 2006 after
serving as a senior administrator in the arts and humanities at the Smithsonian
Institution in Washington, D.C. Since then sādhana has been her highest
priority and greatest joy.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
The manuscript exists in three sections or khaṇḍa-s. The first is
ritualistic in nature, the second, which is most often translated, is
dedicated to teaching, and the third, to date, is lost. The author is
given as Hāritāyana, who relates the second section, composed of
dialogues between his guru Dattātreya and Paraśurāma, to the god
Nārada. Throughout all three sections, Absolute Consciousness is
represented in female form as Śrī Tripurā, the Mother who transcends
three cities, variously interpreted but most often meaning the waking,
dreaming and sleeping states.
The second section of Tripurā Rahasya, which concerns us here, is
not dry polemic. In fact, it is a practical guide to self-realization told
through stories and anecdotes that alternate with passages of lively
spiritual discourse. Throughout the text, the symbol of a mirror that
in every instance embodies the Oneness of Pure Consciousness, the
only Reality there is, occurs at least seventy times, repeating like a
familiar leit-motif, sometimes using the word ‘darpaṇa’ and an equal
number of times using the word ‘ādarśa’.3 ‘Darpaṇa’, from the verbal
root ‘dṛp’, to be foolish, arrogant or proud, means causing vanity, a
mirror. On the other hand, ‘ādarśa’, also meaning mirror, comes from
‘dṛś’, to see, look at, observe, behold, even to see by divine intuition.
Not surprisingly, the mirror first appears in the opening invocation
to the second khaṇḍa as follows:
    
  
oṁ namaḥ kāraṇānanda-rūpiṇī paracinmayī |
virājate jagaccitra-citra-darpaṇa-rūpiṇī ||
Salutations to Her, in essence the blissful Primal Cause
consisting of Pure Consciousness.
She shines and, like a mirror, reflects
this world of multiplicity.4

3
I am treating the mirror as both a symbol and a simile, which differs from a metaphor
in that ‘like’ is explicitly stated. For an exhaustive treatment of figures of speech
in Sanskrit, see Croaking Frogs by Les Morgan, pp.191-231.
4
Chapter One, verse 1. All translations of Sanskrit verses are by the author in
consultation with Marcia Solomon, a dedicated and inspiring Sanskrit teacher and
scholar who resides in Boulder, Colorado.

36 April - June
KEYWORD
The story of Hemalekhā and Hemachūḍa, which extends over
seven chapters (Three through Ten) in Tripurā Rahasya, contains
many uses of the mirror to illustrate key concepts that involve steps
to self-realisation. The story is told by Dattātreya in response to
questions from Paraśurāma having learned about the glory of the
Goddess. Paraśurāma asks how one gains the opportunity to hear
about Her, why others don’t know about Her, and why he was not
interested in learning about Her before. Dattātreya says association
with the wise is the way to attain the highest good, and to illustrate
that, he begins his narration.
Hemalekhā, a woman of great beauty, was the daughter of a
celestial being and a king. Abandoned, she was raised by a great Sage
living in a forest. Hemachūḍa, a prince, encountered her in the Sage’s
hermitage when his hunting party got lost. They fell in love and were
immediately married.
Problems arose, however, when Hemachūḍa noticed that his wife
was indifferent to the many pleasures of the kingdom. When she told
him she was distracted by reflections on what is the greatest pleasure
and the greatest pain, meaning what is the highest good, he was
amused. However, his seemingly naive wife skillfully reasoned with
him, then shocked him with a vividly descriptive story of a betrayed
lover so that, beginning with sexual enjoyment, he began to understand
the insipidy of objects and all worldly pleasures.
Once detachment (vairāgya) was gained with his wife’s guidance,
Hemachūḍa constantly practised inquiry (vicāra) and was liberated.
Eventually the entire kingdom, through the teaching of a woman,
became enlightened, including the animals that resided therein. Parrots
in their cages praised Pure Consciousness, and Chapter Four ends
with the following enchanting verses.
    
    
     
       
    
   

2020 37
MOUNTAIN PATH
citi-rūpaṁ svam-ātmānaṁ bhajadhvaṁ cetya-varjitam |
nāsti cetyaṁ citeranyad darpaṇa-pratibimbavat ||
citiścetyaṁ citirahaṁ citiḥ sarvaṁ carācaram |
yataḥ sarvaṁ citim-anu bhāti sā tu sva-tantrataḥ ||
ataścitiṁ janāḥ sarva-bhāsinīṁ sarva-saṁśrayām |
bhajadhvaṁ bhrāntim-utsṛjya citi-mātra-sudṛṣṭayaḥ ||
Delight in your own Self, which is Pure Consciousness
in essence, bereft of anything perceivable.
There are no objects outside of Pure Consciousness,
just as reflections do not exist outside a mirror.
Objects are Pure Consciousness, the perceiver too,
and the aggregate of all created things.
Everything shines dependent on Pure Consciousness,
but She is self-resplendent.
Therefore, O people, adore Pure Consciousness,
illuminator and substratum of all.
Giving up delusion,
focus one-pointedly on Pure Consciousness alone.5
These beautiful verses appear again at the close of Chapter Ten,
when the story of Hemalekhā and Hemachūḍa finally ends. They
are thus endowed with a special status and gravity, whatever the
explanation for the repetition might be. Using a simple image, the
mirror, they extol the Self and, at the same time, make it accessible.
We are told there is absolutely nothing outside of the Self, the mirror,
including the seemingly real reflections that are in it. All that is
needed to realize the highest good is to turn our attention from the
reflections and abide in the mirror. Constant repose in the resulting
state is enlightenment. Since the Self is in the Heart of every being
at all times, we can all, with proper instruction from a Sage and
perseverance, discover it.
Many devotees are already familiar with darpaṇa, since it appears
in the opening verse of Śrī Śaṅkarāchārya’s hauntingly beautiful
opening verse of the Hymn to Śrī Dakṣiṇāmūrti.

5
Chapter Four, verses, 99-101.

38 April - June
KEYWORD
May our obeisance be to the Primal guru Sri Dakshinamurthy,
who, at the time of spiritual awakening, experiences directly
(without the aid of any medium) his true form as one without a
second even as a dreamer on waking up sees only himself but
who, hitherto out of ignorance, perceived the world existing
within (the mind) as if manifested without (or outside of him)
like the reflected image of a city seen to exist within a mirror.6
The third verse of Bhagavan’s Uḷḷadu Nārpadu emphasizes the
Oneness of Pure Consciousness and uses the idea of a canvas
or screen upon which the pictures, corresponding to reflections
in a mirror, are displayed.
Because the world is seen, we have to infer a common cause (a
Lord) possessing unlimited powers to appear as the diversity.
The pictures consisting of names and forms, the seer, the canvas,
the light – all these are He Himself.7
Bhagavan once remarked:
The jñānī sees he is the Self and it is on that Self as the screen
that the various cinema-pictures of what is called the world
pass. He remains unaffected by the shadows which play on the
surface of that screen.8
Returning to the story, Paraśurāma begged Dattātreya for more
details about Hemachūḍa’s path to enlightenment, and Dattātreya
obliged, backing up the narrative and relaunching the tale. He begins
by stating that detachment (vairāgya) did not at first serve Hemachūḍa
well. He became restless and questioned his wife further. She, noting
with pleasure signs of progress from obvious grace from the Goddess,
told him a story of her own life in the form of an extended allegory,
a literary device in which meaning is represented symbolically. Not
understanding the significance of it nor its relevance to his own
situation, he was greatly frustrated. That led Hemalekhā to tell him
about the importance of faith (śraddhā) and the dangers of futile

6
Kanakammal, T.R., Commentary on Anuvadā Nūnmālai, p. 185 (paraphrase of
Bhagavan’s Tamil translation from Sanskrit).
7
Translation by S.S. Cohen.
8
Mudaliar, A. Devaraja, Day by Day with Bhagavan, 21-11-45.

2020 39
MOUNTAIN PATH
polemics. Sound reasoning (sattarka), grounded in the scriptures,
leads to the conviction that a Supreme Consciousness exists, and
devoted worship of It is the first step to the highest good.
Beginning to place faith in his own wife, who was not what he
thought she was, he asked her where faith should be placed. With
so many different deities and so many conflicting doctrines, how
to choose the right one worthy of devotion? Hemalekhā responded
with reasoning about the impossibility of a Creator having any body
at all. Otherwise, how could He, who creates from absolute freedom
of Will, be Supreme, and how could He be the same in all religions
regardless of form?
The following verses make the point that differences, including
notions of superiority or inferiority among deities, cannot exist
because the world is not separate from Absolute Consciousness where
there are no differences. They are in the mind only. So worshipping
the Supreme Being without form is preferable.
  
  
       
       
ādarśa-nagara-prakhyaṁ jagadetaccarācaram |
tadrūpaikatvatastatra nottamādhama-bhāvanā ||
apare tu sva-rūpe hi kalpitaṁ mukhyatādi hi |
tasmāt prājña upāsīta paraṁ rūpaṁ hi niṣkalam ||
This world of living and lifeless entities
is like a city in a mirror.
In this case, due to the Oneness of its nature,
the conception of higher and lower does not exist.
But when not in one’s own true state,
superiority and such are only imagined.
Therefore, let the wise one be devoted to
the highest essence, alone without distinctions.9
Of course, formless worship is in most cases not possible.
Fortunately for us, the Chapter ends on a reassuring note. If one
9
Chapter Seven, verses 92 and 93.

40 April - June
KEYWORD
worships God in the concrete form that is most comfortable and with
an attitude of absolute desirelessness, in time one will reach the goal.
A dialogue between Bhagavan and a devotee goes as follows:
D: Has God a form? M: Who says so? D: Well, if God has no
form is it proper to worship idols? M: Leave God alone because
He is unknown. What about you? Have you a form? D: Yes, I
am this and so and so. M: So then, you are a man with limbs,
about three and a half cubits high, with beard, etc. Is it so? D:
Certainly. M: Then do you find yourself so in deep sleep? D:
After waking I perceive that I was asleep. Therefore by inference
I remained thus in deep sleep also. M: If you are the body why
do they bury the corpse after death? The body must refuse to
be buried. D: No, I am the subtle jīva within the gross body. M:
So you see that you are really formless, but you are at present
identifying yourself with the body. So long as you are formful
why should you not worship the formless God as being formful?
The questioner was baffled and perplexed.10
Elsewhere, Bhagavan says:
The only thing to know is that there is an entity who is in all these
forms, but who is not these forms. We see the One in the many.
We see the One as many, the Formless in the forms.11 
(To be continued)

10
Venkataramiah, M, (compl.), Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi, Talk§121.
11
Op.cit., Mudaliar, A. Devaraja, 2-5-46 Morning.

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Sri Mahaswami
The Sage with Eyes of Light

Part Six
Serge Demetrian

We continue the series of extracts from a manuscript titled Śrī


Mahāswami, The Sage with Eyes of Light that relates the direct
experiences of the author with Śrī Kāñci Pīṭhātipati Jagadguru Śrī
Sañkarācārya, Śrī Candraśekarendra Sarasvati Svāmī which took
place from 1968 until the mahāsamādhi of Śrī Mahāswami in 1994.

Kārvetinagar, Thursday 2nd September 1971

The Universal pūjā


After a difficult afternoon with setbacks and smaller health problems,
I witnessed once again on this ekādashī night, one of the universal
pūjā-s of Śrī Mahāswami.
It was 9 pm and Swāmijī, while sitting outside his hut, was about
to finish one of his long series of talks, three hours in length this time,
with different visitors.
Generally, as much as my elementary knowledge of the Tamil
language permits me to understand, Śrī Mahāswami, while talking on
various subjects with the people, seems not to deal with or demonstrate
precise ideas. One would say that he instructs them – without their
knowledge – making use of the words as a pretext to pass on to them,

2020 43
MOUNTAIN PATH
while they are captivated by his speech, what is beyond the words. In
this way, their harmful tendencies get negated in the net of his words.
I was very near to him and I felt how the vibrations of his voice
removed certain foreign substances that weighed down my mind
and my body. Once I was receptive and able to receive more, Śrī
Mahāswami responded without haste. He was never in a hurry,
meaning he was always in the right position to perfectly utilise his
time. He came down the some fifteen stairs of the Lotus Pond and
stopped at the last one where he sat down on a small mat of dried
herbs, facing east, towards the water. The shadow of a rather tall flame
of the oil night-lamp danced on his ochre-orange cloth. As always,
when he wanted to instruct me, he had removed, mentally, the other
participants on his right side, which was where I was standing, at five
metres from him, also on the last stair before the water’s edge. He took
care to be in the full light. I observed at regular intervals how brilliant
his right eye was as he repeated his invocations. His abundant hair
and the beard formed a white halo round his fine and energetic face.
For a few minutes Śrī Mahāswami sat straight looking ahead to
the other side of the reservoir, as if he was waiting for something to
appear from the surface of the water or beyond. Quickly, the swarms
of insects that flew about every night concealed themselves in the
bushes that encircled the reservoir. Deprived of their usual prey, the
dragonflies stopped their haphazard movements and sheltered in the
burgeoning leaves of the lotuses. The bats retired to the tall tree behind
the hermitage where they had their nests, and ceased cheeping. The
fish and toads did not plop in the water and the surface of the reservoir
became calm and even, like a sheet of glossy, black paper, which
became the floor of an immense stage with the ceiling decorated by
stars. Nature seemed to wait. One had the feeling that in the growing
obscurity of evening, eyes approached furtively and thronged the high
terraces of an unseen amphitheatre above the crests of the trees on
the reservoir’s banks. Those eyes, thousands of pairs, were riveted
on the single point of light, Śrī Mahāswami.
Everything started discreetly with a few ritual movements for
the purification of the body and of the danda, in accordance with
the tradition; the Purity in itself, is it still in need of purification?
A short prayer and suddenly Śrī Mahāswami united his palms and

44 April - June
SRI MAHASWAMI
fingers, and, arms stretched, he directed them successively towards
all the directions of the space — there are ten in the Hindu tradition.
He energetically raised and lowered his hands, while his head bent
in the same direction where his hands moved. One would have said
that from all directions he called acquaintances, invited some guests,
I suppose, seen only by him, and requested them to sit near-by. After
some time, the space all around, the entire stage of the lake, became
so charged, so dense that it was hard to breathe: everywhere there
was ‘someone’.
The time had now come to tell why they have been convened.
Opening his palms, he started discussing with every one through
gestures. With his hands he encircled a spot in the space as if he was
caressing a child and enquired if he was well. He moved to another
near-by. He jumped to a third one, farther away, only to return to the
first one to whom it was necessary to convey a word. After having
received in this way tens and hundreds of spirits, seen only by him,
his gestures became larger and more expressive. He seemed to tell
them why they have been summoned. Some did not understand: he
had to repeat. Some needed clarifications. Finally, all were informed
what it was all about.
Now the discussion became general. The long and fine fingers
of Śrī Mahāswami, with the talent of an accomplished mime made
everybody talk, without a word.
“Louder, we do not hear you.”
“And you?” He seemed to say while turning to the other side of
the assembly, “Wait for your turn.”
“What about that group on the back, what is your opinion? … Oh
yes and if you clarify your statement?”
He seemed to conduct an immense symphonic orchestra from a
score known only by him. He was preparing the final fortissimo.
Now Śrī Mahāswami suddenly started giving orders. A rapid
burst of energetic movements which were deprived of everything
that could be identified as external signs of prayer. They were precise
gestures to catch an object seen only by him, but whose reality was
unquestionable. He spread out his arms in different places; then he
gave mute explanations, with a stretched finger, here and there. From
time to time, he showed movements of appeasement and further

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MOUNTAIN PATH
clarification to those who needed them. It seemed to me as if from
his slender fingers shot flashes of mute lightning bolts, while from his
white palm trickled an elixir received with veneration by the entire
Nature gathered in awe on the concentric terraces of the amphitheatre
whose last steps lost themselves somewhere towards the stars.
Thousands and thousands of eyes were captivated by the one luminous
centre in this Creation. The rather strong flame of the oil night lamp
tried in vain to exceed Śrī Mahāswami. It was really he who lent his
own lustre to the wick. Covered as he was by his ochre-orange cloth
that he often readjusted back on his head with energetic movements,
he looked like a triangle of almost solidified light.
I stared at him along with those who had also received from him
the power to see. He was the origin of all forces. He had abandoned
for a while the aspect of a wandering monk under which he screens
himself every day in order not to frighten us, in order not to crush us.
He had assumed his position of Master, and presided over the orders
as the Emperor that he was.
For a certain moment, Śrī Mahāswami remained quiet: the sole
centre of thousands of focused eyes. I continued looking at him as did
all who stood around, when I clearly heard him… singing: a simple
melody, a sort of short appeal he repeated three times, with his ‘true
voice’, which seemed to me an undulating tendril of thick light, like the
steady or slow-moving flashes which sometimes gush out of his eyes.
And the created beings listened, both the moving and the non-
moving. They all knew, up to the last one, that without Him, deprived
of His Presence, of His Word, they would crumble and descend into
the formless chaos out of which they had been brought to life solely
by His will.
After some time, he looked as if he was satisfied, as if his orders
where clear to everyone.
However, before sending away those he had invited, there was one
last procedure that had to be accomplished. He joined once again his
hands, with fingers and palms even tighter this time. Arms stretched,
he resumed large circles towards all the directions of the space. The
right ones were not equal to the left ones: He stressed the right side
where I was standing, frozen, hands in añjali. It was doubtless that
he intended to include in the interior of the circles a certain entity

46 April - June
MOUNTAIN PATH
residing in ‘this one’ called me. This entity, which was still not free
and sufficiently pure, was being progressively detached by the insistent
and very precise movements. Suddenly, I had the clear feeling that it
was the best of myself that was being separated from the surroundings.
I understood this from the circles in which I was in all evidence
included, and mostly by the fact that, when I was drawn in, I felt at
my left some kind of blade that cut me off from the rest of the world.
When he had finished, I was more HE than I was ME. In my heart
there opened by itself a sort of diamond-like vertical trace of the size
of a span. He had surely included me in his plans and had placed me
in a definite place: for now, I had to witness what was to follow.
The moment has come when all those called by him, the immense,
invisible audience who were waiting in silence, should be honoured.
Looking always at his invitees, he gathered, one after another, from
four or five bowls of coconut bark, the offering of the service: red
kum-kum powder, grey vibhûti powder, multicoloured flower petals,
and grains of white rice. Without mixing them, he left them fall as a
fine rain into the lake, which seemed to reverentially receive them.
The last act was approaching. Śrī Mahāswami pierced me with
his eyes several times, sometimes I could perceive a black lightning,
sometimes a firefly. Then he turned towards north – I saw him from
the back – and started meditating. My body, which could do almost
nothing by itself was ready to receive his Presence, and this seemed
to have been, in what ‘I’ was concerned with, the aim of the four
last hours. Śrī Mahāswami had destroyed totally and with so much
mastery the ‘I’ feeling, that now he had entirely taken up residency
in my flesh. He had completely replaced me with himself in what I
was. By now, he existed in two bodies: his and mine. The result was
that I felt changed in the exquisite, essential core of all the senses,
crushed with happiness. Finally one had escaped from suffering...
one is free, free, Free... one is oneself; one is Śrī Mahāswami, one is
the All. How to describe it?
Then the luminous trace of ‘my’ heart became quickly stronger
and more powerful, replacing everything – Swāmijī and myself – and
then evolved into a pillar of white bluish ether of an indescribable
brilliance: diamond powder that changed by itself into a flame without
smoke and heat. I heard nothing anymore, except a sound, which

48 April - June
SRI MAHASWAMI
could be ‘felt’ and ‘seen’ in some way, rather than heard – a fine, acute
and continuous note. If previously I could still mentally pronounce
a divine name or Omkara, now there was nobody there who could
utter anything. Who would pronounce what? Existence-in-itself has
no need to enunciate its name as it exists, alone… to Infinity…
The happiness that accompanied the realisation of the Existence-
in-itself is the Felicity (ananda). Who would have the courage to
describe in words the small happiness’ of daily life? The more so in
daring to describe in words Felicity itself!
Then it was the paroxysm: the last feeble traces of an old, almost
forgotten life were ready to break off and disappear… Only for the
Existence to exist in its totality…
But it was destined that it should not be so. An inexorable Will
had decided otherwise…
Little by little, the Infinite of diamond-like white-bluish light
became yellowish. The image of Śrī Mahāswami who inhabited
both bodies reappeared and along with it the ‘I’ feeling gushed forth
from some corner. Then there appeared, by their own volition, as if
to console me somehow, a series of divine names and a verse from
an Upanishad:
There is no joy but in the Infinite; there is no joy in the limited.
The joy is Infinite, only one should have
the will to know the Infinite.
I want, oh Master, to know the Infinite.1
My stiff body swayed a little; the eyes which were closed until
then, were the only organs to slowly stir; the other functions seemed
to be still asleep. The ‘I’ perceived once again the sitting human form
of Śrī Mahāswami: an orange purple pyramid of condensed light.
Over his dress there played the little flame of the oil night-lamp, as
if it was drawing its force from an elder kindred flame.
After a while, Śrī Mahāswami stood up. He grasped his danda
with both hands as his stern face turned once again towards east,
and addressed the beings of the darkness crowded on the invisible
terraces, which had increased up towards the stars as the night wore
on. He emphasised his orders by circles and other figures in the ten
1
Chāndogya Upaniṣad, VII.23.1.

2020 49
MOUNTAIN PATH
directions of the space. Then he upstretched both arms and traced
large farewell signs above and in front of his head. I did not hear nor
did I see anything, but I observed how the flame of the oil night-lamp,
which until then was peacefully vertical, dangerously flickered at the
end of its wick, and bowed towards west and towards the steps of the
reservoir. It was as if it were pushed by the current of a commotion
on the lake. The surface of the water, unruffled until then, covered
itself with ripples.
My heart was full of azure sparkles as I stood transfixed for a few
minutes. Then the ātman took once again charge of this arrangement
of organs. Instead of looking towards its own interior light, it directed
its forces towards the external. It poured itself out and flew again
through the channels of the senses. In the language of ordinary men,
I started living again; in the language of the saints, I was dying...
Śrī Mahāswami understood what happened in me; he also knew
that he had still to protect his devotee: the nervous system, the heart of
flesh, all the organism composed of tissues and thoughts waited to be
purified and strengthened. Otherwise, the molten gold of his blessing
could destroy forever the frail structures insufficiently inured to the
stress of a higher, more subtle and intense reality. He acts often this
way, as the protector. That is why, in his presence, I never come back
to the so-called ‘normality’ with a headache or giddiness. There are
also no more of those pernicious excitations of the senses where the
over-activity of the mind could lead to physical or verbal drifts that
are bereft of the mark of true spirituality.
Śrī Mahāswami sat once again on the stairs of the reservoir and
started one of his long discussions with different visitors. He has
nothing to prove; I think that everything he says is a secret teaching,
expressed solely by the vibration of his voice. As for me, I ‘feel’ his
voice in the heart and I bear witness for this. Still, from time to time,
he made a remark, or some suggestion, or gave counsel that was
understood by those sensitive enough to understand it. Better, by
those to whom he had given the capacity to realize.
Finally, he walked up towards the hut while still talking. I surmised
that he will enter the hut and so I left for my residence. I quickly ate
my dinner of milk and rice flakes and afterward came back to the
Lotus Pond with my bedding for the night: a local rather thin mat

50 April - June
SRI MAHASWAMI
weaved of dried plant sheaths to protect against the humidity on the
ground, a folded woollen blanket as mattress and a cotton white bed
sheet long enough to be drawn over the head by way of a mosquito
net. My Indian bag was the pillow as well as being a security against
theft. I also took my hurricane lamp, which was to be placed in front
of my head as to scare the stray dogs.
Upon my return to the Pond I observed that Śrī Mahāswami had not
yet retired. Sitting in the hut, on the bed made of coconut woven cords,
he spoke to four or five persons. I stood at two or three metres distance
from him, at the threshold of the open door, as I never entered the room
out of respect for the traditional rules. I contemplated him without
hindrances from 11 pm. to 1 am. My rather limited knowledge of
literary Tamil and his slight dialect stopped me from being distracted
by the conversation that, by the way, seemed quite interesting. Śrī
Mahāswami possesses a consummate art, among several others, of
leading a play of questions and responses. Often he makes the listeners
laugh uproariously while he never laughs with full voice. He smiles
only; this remarkably brightens up his face, which usually is attentive,
preoccupied and even severe. So, I preferred to observe him while
he held his listeners spellbound and who did not have the time to ask
themselves why he accepted me to be so near to him.
Today, as I had a memorable experience, I conserved my energy,
and this seemed to be also his intention. So, no supplementary
meditation; I contented myself with ‘drinking’ his eyes and his
entire being. The more I study him the more he becomes for me a
source of wonder. Every point of his body vibrates: nothing is left to
chance, nothing is unrefined. He can accomplish everything and at
any moment. From his bed he showed me several times his foot, his
divine foot, as the foot of God, a crystal boat, which, according to
the utterances of the poets inspired by the Truth, leads the one who
entrusts everything to Him, to the Infinite. 
(To be continued)

2020 51
The Significance of
Kartikai Deepam

M.R. Kodhandram

B hagavan has composed the following Tamil verse to explain the


significance of the Kartikai Deepam that is lit on the Arunachala
Hill every year. The stanza is as follows:

   


   
   
   .
Ittanuvē nānām enu-madiyai nīttap
buddhi idayattē porundi-aga nōkkāl
adduvita mā-mey agac-chuḍar-kāṇ gai-bhū
maddi-yenum Aṇṇā malaicchuḍar-kāṇ meyyē.
Meaning
The true significance of seeing the flame (Kartikai Deepam) on
Annamalai, which is the Heart centre of the world, is realising the
M.R. Kodhandram is a Postgraduate from the IIT, Madras, who settled in
Tiruvannamalai 17 years ago to do sadhana. He has been learning, practising,
and sharing his experiences on the Path of Bhagavan. He has translated
into English and written commentaries on Andal’s Tiruppavai, Bhagavan’s
Upadesa Saram, Bhagavad Gita Saram, Atma Bodha, Aksharamanamalai
and Dakshinamurti Stotram, and the great Tamil scripture Tirukkuṛaḷ.

2020 53
MOUNTAIN PATH
Light of the Real Self that is one without a second, after discarding
the notion ‘I am this body’ and making the mind abide in the Heart
by attending to the source of the mind (through Self-enquiry and
meditation).
Thus, Bhagavan is teaching us that Arunachala is nothing but the
Self which is one without a second. It means, the same Self exists in all.
And we can realise our Self by giving up our wrong identification with
the body or the “I am the body” idea and diving deep inside towards
the source of the mind, which is the Heart. Giving up the “I am the
body” idea or dehatma buddhi helps us to give up our attachment to
the body. And diving inside is done through Self-enquiry. It is done
by asking the questions “Who am I?” and “Wherefrom does this mind
arise in me”.
After asking these questions, if we pray to Bhagavan to help us,
we will be able to locate the Source within us by his Grace. The Heart
centre is the source of the mind. If we focus the mind steadily on this
point, the mind will descend along the Paranadi which connects the
head to the Heart, and reach the Heart in due course. When it reaches
the Heart, it will subside, thus revealing the real Self that dwells in
the Heart. This Source (namely the Heart) is the same place that the
mind retires to daily during deep sleep. But this happens unconsciously
during sleep due to Grace. What we do in sleep, we have to learn to
do in the wakeful state consciously in order to make the happiness
we got during sleep a permanent one, so that we can enjoy it even
in the wakeful state. This is the sādhana we have to practise. Thus,
both Self-enquiry and sustained meditation (dhyāna) are required to
achieve success in our efforts.
For the sake of devotees, Lord Arunachala has manifested as this
Hill, so that people can see Him and be benefitted. The Self cannot
be seen by the physical eyes as it is not an object but the subject or
substratum of all. Therefore, whatever we know about the Self is
only what we have read in books or heard from others. It is only
a theoretical knowledge. Hence for us devotees to benefit, Lord
Arunachala, out of His compassion, has manifested in a gross form so
that we can understand His nature. Though He appears here as a rocky
mountain, He is essentially only the Self. He is the fire of knowledge
which destroys the darkness of ignorance. He is a fire that emits no

54 April - June
THE SIGNIFICANCE OF KARTIKAI DEEPAM
heat because He is the fire of jñāna or jñāna-agni. Lord Arunachala/
the Self does not, like a regular fire, burn objects that are close by
as He/It is cool in nature. The nature of Lord Arunachala/the Hill is
pure bliss and hence it brings only peace and happiness in all those
who think of it.
All the four great Saivite saints Manikkavasagar, Sundaramurti,
Tirunavukkarasar and Jnanasambandhar have sung songs in
praise of Arunachala. In one verse which Bhagavan often quoted,
Jnanasambandhar describes this hill as Jnanattiraḷ or a dense mass of
Jnana. And Sundaramurti says, in one of his songs, “O Annamalai, you
can be known only by those who seek thee giving up attachment to
their body.” In Śrī Aruṇācala Akṣaramaṇamālai, stanza 19, Bhagavan
says that Arunachala shines in the form of the Guru who destroys all
our faults and makes us virtuous.
Thus, Arunachala appears in the form of a Guru to worthy devotees
to guide them on the spiritual path, so that they may return to Him
and, dissolving in Him, bring an end to their unending cycle of
reincarnations. As the Sadguru of all those who see the Hill or think
of the Hill, Arunachala pushes the mind inwards. And from within,
where the Lord exists as the Self, He exerts a pull on the mind so
that we may reach Him and be united with Him. This is the Grace
of Lord Arunachala. Thus He helps his devotees both from without
and from within.
The Jyoti or flame which is lit on the peak of the Hill onKartikai
Deepam Day is meant to indicate its true nature, which is Pure
Consciousness/Awareness. Thus, we are taught, through an annual
ritual, that the Arunachala Hill is not just a rocky mountain. This
is only its outer shell. In actuality the Hill is a manifestation of the
Supreme Self that exists in all of us, but which cannot be seen as an
object or comprehended easily by anyone.
The proof about the Hill’s true nature as Pure Consciousness (cit)
or Perfect Knowledge (jñāna) can only be experienced intuitively. I
have my personal experience of the Hill. On the Hill, I get clarity on
anything I ponder. For Tiruppavai and other books that I have written,
I used to find answers to doubts and also decode the hidden meanings
of the stanzas by pondering over them on the Hill after praying to
Lord Arunachala. Even now, whenever I have to write answers to

2020 55
MOUNTAIN PATH
questions, if I write on the Hill, it flows like magic. Almost every day I
ponder over some thing or the other on the Hill and gain clarity. Even
Bhagavan says that he got guidance from Lord Arunachala while living
on the hill. That’s why Bhagavan considered Lord Arunachala to be
his Guru. Therefore, this Hill is not just a hill, it is a manifestation of
Shiva himself, who exists as the fire of knowledge (jñāna). This is
symbolised by the Deepam Beacon that is lit every year on the day
ofKartikai Pournami (the full moon day of the month ofKartikai). It
was on this day that Lord Shiva manifested himself as a jyoti (sacred
light) to Parvati when she, after long separation, longed and pined to
see him. She had been doing tapasya (penance) here in Tiruvannamalai
in order to atone for a fault and to become, once more, reunited with
her consort, Lord Shiva/Arunachala.
Earlier, Lord Shiva had appeared as a column of effulgent Light
in order to settle a dispute between the gods Brahma and Vishnu.
They had been arguing as to who was superior. Subsequently, the
two gods set out to find the top and bottom of the effulgence but
failed badly in their efforts. Thus their pride was humbled and they
surrendered to Lord Shiva and sought refuge in him. As the fiery
effulgence of Lord Shiva was too fierce to bear, they requested the
Lord to tone down his brightness so that he could become easily
approachable by all.
Thus, the column of effulgence became the Arunachala Hill, with a
subdued, ordinary appearance, as an act of Grace by Lord Arunachala
for the welfare and protection of the world. Brahma and Vishnu prayed
to Shiva that his true effulgence should be revealed once a year, for
the welfare of the world, in the month ofKartikai, on the evening of
the full moon. This is the significance of the lighting of the Deepam
Beacon on the top of Arunachala Hill. The true significance of this
story of Brahma and Vishnu, who failed to encompass the limits of
Shiva’s column of light, is that the real Self, which exists within the
Heart, cannot be reached by the intellect and the ego-mind. The ego
has to be first subdued.
Just as the light on the top of the Hill signifies the true nature of
Arunachala as Being-Consciousness, so too, the true nature of all
living beings is this Pure Consciousness. Just as we have realised this
truth about the significance of Arunachala Hill, we have to realise our

56 April - June
THE SIGNIFICANCE OF KARTIKAI DEEPAM
true nature by diving deep within us towards our Heart wherein dwells
the effulgent Self. This is the supreme goal of life for all.
Why is the Deepam lit on the day of Kartikai Pournami?
Karttikai Pournami is the most powerful Pournami (full moon day)
of the whole year. That is why it is able to draw so many lakhs of
people on this day. Therefore, for the benefit of all, the significance
of the Hill is being revealed here so that all can see and learn
the truth about Arunachala Hill and be blessed in life. By doing
girivalam (circumambulation) on this most sacred day, our minds
get purified, our understanding and bhakti (loving devotion to God)
get strengthened and we will be able to walk the right path in life
that will lead us to the Self within and end being trapped in samsara.
There is yet another reason why the sacred fire on the Hill is lit
during this time of the year. The Deepam Beacon burns continuously
for 11 days and nights. It is so bright that it is visible even from a very
long distance. The fire produces heat, which nourishes the medicinal
herbs that grow nearby on the Hill. They would grow well due to the
monsoon. As the Beacon’s fire is burning continuously, the heat it
produces causes the medicinal herbs growing nearby to release certain
medicinal vapours into the atmosphere, which destroy the harmful
bacteria that are normally present during this time.
We now understand that though Arunachala appears as a Hill,
in reality, it is Lord Shiva himself who is the Consciousness that is
one without a second. That is the true nature of this Hill. This is the
significance of lighting theKartikai Deepam, to reveal the light of
the Self. If we now enquire into our own nature based on this, we
will realise that though we appear as human bodies, we are actually
the Consciousness that dwells in the transcendent Heart, just as
Arunachala is the heart centre of the whole world.
Thus, whenever we look at Arunachala Hill, we are only looking
at our own Self, which is hard to perceive. By looking at Arunachala
Hill, our minds will be drawn within towards the Self in the Heart.
Thus, by seeing or even thinking of Arunachala, our minds will be
effortlessly introverted. Usually, when we look at the world, our minds
are externalised. It is very difficult to internalise the mind. But when
we look at Arunachala, our minds will be internalised automatically.

2020 57
MOUNTAIN PATH
That is why it is so easy to do sādhana (spiritual practice) in this
place. So many saints and sages have done tapasya (penance) here
from time immemorial. Even today many saints are here doing their
sādhana to realise the Self. The most beautiful aspect of worshipping
Lord Arunachala-as-the-Hill is that He grants us the power of enquiry
(investigation, vicāra) by which we can internalise our minds and
overcome all the vāsanā-s (mental formations; habitual tendencies)
of our ego that block our spiritual journey.
In our day to day lives, whenever we are affected by situations
and we react negatively, if we think of Lord Arunachala/Arunachala
Hill or Bhagavan, who is one with Him, we will be able to calm our
minds quickly. Thereafter, if we enquire in all earnestness, we will be
able to understand where we went wrong and thus correct our faults.
In this manner, we will be able to cut off the ego that rises as various
negative thoughts and emotions at its root, and make our minds pure
and perfect. This is the way to progress on the spiritual path. Finally,
we will be able to do the ātma-vicāra (Self enquiry) and reach our
Heart and unite the mind with the Self. This is Self-Realisation, which
will liberate us from the cycle of repeated births and deaths. This is
the supreme goal of life to be attained by all! Thus, Arunachala helps
all His devotees to reach Him and to never come back to saṁsāra
again. May we all worship Arunachala and Bhagavan and follow
Bhagavan’s teachings and progress in life and be happy always. May
Arunachala and Bhagavan bless our efforts and grant us their Grace!

The Names of Lalitha
Ramesh Menon
Lalithambikaa,
your tender sport, Goddess, is
all these worlds and lives;
redeem us, merciful mother,
save us in your hymns of light.

The poems are loosely based on the Japanese tanka form of five lines. A tanka is a haiku
with two extra seven-syllabled lines. The lines have 5/7/5/7/7 syllables, in that order.

58 April - June
Consciousness

S. Ram Mohan

Introduction
‘What is Real?’ is the question that is engaging the human mind
from time immemorial. Vedanta says that ‘bhūma’ (Supreme
Consciousness) alone is real and is infinite.
The concept of Consciousness has been succinctly dealt with in
the Upaniṣad-s. Sankara, in his commentary on Māṇḍūkya Upaniṣad
observes, “The function of the Upaniṣad-s is to emphasize the identity
between jiva, the limited self and the True Self or Consciousness. The
wrong identification of self as Consciousness has arisen due to avidyā.
Never indeed do the Upaniṣad-s objectify the Self. Then, what is their
function? It is answered that it gives rise to the vṛitti which has for
its content the identity of the Self with consciousness element of the
jīva – the conscious element which is escalated or drawn out from the
mind to which it is ligatured. The vṛitti illuminated by the reflection
of Consciousness in it, removes the difference of the ‘known’, the
‘knower’ and ‘knowledge’ that are imagined through avidyā.”1

Adi Sankara commentary on Māṇḍūkya Upaniṣad Karika 2.32.


1

S.Ram Mohan, IRAS, is editor of the Tamil journal Ramanodhayam dedicated


to Bhagavan and is also on the editorial board of the Mountain Path.

2020 59
MOUNTAIN PATH
There arises from it this finite consciousness taking on an upadhi
(limiting adjunct). This is ābhāsa or reflection. Our aim is to merge
this individual consciousness into the Supreme One.2 ‘Bhuma’ is the
Supreme Consciousness.3
Sri Ramana Maharshi cautions that ‘vṛitti’ (thought) is often
mistaken for consciousness. While Self-realisation is akhaṇdākāra
vṛitti (unbroken experience), ‘vṛitti’ is only a phenomenon and
operates at the level of ‘ābhāsa’ (reflected consciousness). Vṛitti is
qualified, directed consciousness, or undivided consciousness broken
by cognition of thoughts, senses, etc. It is the function of the mind,
whereas the continuous consciousness (akhaṇdākāra) transcends the
mind. This is the natural primal state of the jñāni, which ‘asserts’ itself
when relative consciousness subsides.4
True knowledge lies beyond relative knowledge and ignorance.
It is not in the shape of ‘vṛitti’. There are no subject and object in
it. ‘Vritti’ belongs to the rajasic (active mind) not the sattvic mind
(mind in repose), which is free from it. The sattvic is the witness of
the rajasic. No doubt true consciousness transcends mind, but still it
is called sattvic mind because the knowledge of being conscious is the
function of ābhāsa (reflected consciousness). Mind only is the ābhāsa.
Such knowledge implies a mind but the mind itself is the inspiration
for this insight. Therefore it is called the sattvic mind.
Another important aspect of the Indian view of consciousness has
to be considered. Our rishis, after keen observation have suggested
that consciousness is a varying entity at different times and in different
individuals and beings. They have classified consciousness into four
states: i. Aware State (jāgrata); ii. Dream State (svapna); iii. Deep
Sleep State (suṣupti); iv.The Fourth State (turīya avasthā).

2
Venkataramiah, M, (compl.), Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi, Talk§68.
3
yatra naanyat pasyati yatra naanyat srunoti sa bhuma. Chāndogya Upaniṣad by
Swami Krishnananda. Chapter Three: ‘Sanatkumara’s Instructions on Bhuma-Vidya’.
Section 24. “Do you want to know what Completeness (bhuma) is? And do you want
to know what finitude is? Here is the definition,” says Sanatkumara. “Where one
sees nothing except one’s own Self, where one hears nothing except one’s own Self,
where one understands nothing except one’s own Self, that is Bhuma, the Absolute;
and where one sees something outside oneself, where one hears something outside
oneself, where one understands or thinks something outside oneself, that is the finite.”
4
Op.cit., Talks, Talk§68.

60 April - June
CONSCIOUSNESS
Many philosophical and metaphysical comments have been
raised and answered in India from ancient times while discussing the
relationship of the individual with the first three states (wakefulness,
dream and deep sleep) of consciousness. Where are the faculties of
cetana, cittam, buddhi and ahaṅkāra (Consciousness, mind, intellect
and ‘I’ness) during sleeping and dreaming? Where is the I feeling
or the doer (kartā) feeling during these states? What provides the
continuity when you wake up after a dream or sleep?
The great philosophers of India have based their arguments on
the relationship of the states of consciousness to the individual to
prove the existence of the ātma or the soul. According to Indian
thought, a continuous thread of consciousness exists through all
the three states.
There is only one state, that of consciousness or awareness or
existence. The three states of waking, dream and sleep cannot
be real. They simply come and go. The real will always exist.
The ‘I’ or existence that alone persists in all the three states is
real. The other three are not real and so it is not possible to say
they have such and such a degree of reality.
We may roughly put it like this. Existence or consciousness is
the only reality. Consciousness plus waking, we call waking.
Consciousness plus sleep, we call sleep. Consciousness plus
dream, we call dream. Consciousness is the screen on which
all the pictures come and go. The screen is real, the pictures
are mere shadows on it. Because by long habit we have been
regarding these three states as real, we call the state of mere
awareness or consciousness as the fourth. There is however no
fourth state, but only one state.5
There is no difference between dream and the waking state except
that the dream is short and the waking long. Both are the result of
the mind. Because the waking state is long, we imagine that it is
our real state. But, as a matter of fact, our real state is turīya or the
fourth state which is always as it is and knows nothing of the three
states of waking, dream or sleep. Because we call these three avasthā
(states), we call the fourth state also turīya avasthā. But it is not
5
Mudaliar, A. Devaraja, Day by Day with Bhagavan, 11-1-1946 Afternoon.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
an avasthā, but the real and natural state of the Self. When this is
realised, we know it is not a turiya or fourth state, for a fourth state
is only relative, but turiyatita, the transcendent state.6
To Dr. G. H. Mees, Bhagavan replied on the theme thus: “Samādhi
is one’s natural state. It is the undercurrent in all the three states. This
– that is ‘I’ – is not in those states but those states are in ‘It’. If we get
samadhi in our waking state, that will persist in deep sleep also. The
distinction between consciousness and unconsciousness belongs to the
reality of mind, which is transcended by the state of the ‘Real Self’.”7
Bhagavan instructs us that we have to hold on to the ‘I’ thought
and to probe its source. Then it will disappear as a phantom. What
remains is the real ‘I’. That is the Self. To focus on the thought ‘I am
Brahman’ is an aid to concentration as it keeps out other thoughts.
See, whose is that thought. It will be found to be from the ‘I’.
Wherefrom is the ‘I’ thought? Probe into it. The ‘I’ thought will
vanish. The Supreme Self will shine forth of itself. No further
effort is needed.8
Now you say you were unconscious in sleep and self-conscious
in the wakeful state. Which is the Reality? The Reality must
be continuous and eternal. Neither the unconsciousness nor
the self-consciousness of the present is the Reality. But you
admit your existence all through. The pure Being is the reality.
The others are mere associations. The pure Being cannot be
otherwise than consciousness. Otherwise you cannot say that
you exist. Therefore consciousness is the reality. When that
consciousness is associated with upādi-s you speak of self-
consciousness, unconsciousness, sub-consciousness, super-
consciousness, human consciousness, dog-consciousness,
tree-consciousness and so on. The unaltering common factor
in all of them is consciousness.9
Consciousness is always Self-consciousness. If you are conscious
of anything you are essentially conscious of yourself. Un-self-
conscious existence is a contradiction in terms. It is no existence at
6
Op. cit. Talks, Talk§617.
7
Ibid Talks, Talk§136.
8
Ibid Talks, Talk§202.
9
Ibid Talks, Talk§591.

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CONSCIOUSNESS
all. It is merely attributed existence, whereas true existence, the sat
is not an attribute, it is the substance itself. It is the vastu (reality).
Reality is therefore, known as sat-cit, being-consciousness, and never
merely the one to the exclusion of the other. The world neither exists
by itself nor is it conscious of its existence. How then can you say
that such a world is real?
Erwin Schrodinger in the Epilogue of his What is Life? concerning
mind, states,“ Consciousness is never experienced in the plural, only
in the singular.”
Sri Ramana points out that:
All scriptures are only for the purpose of investigating if there
are two consciousness. Everyone’s experience proves the
existence of only one consciousness. Can that one divide itself
into two? Is any division felt in the Self? Awaking from sleep
one finds oneself the same in the wakeful as well as in the sleep
states. That is the experience of each one. The difference lies
in the seeking, in the outlook. Because you imagine that you
are the seer separate from the experience, this difference arises.
Experience shows that your being is the same all through.10
Bhagavan also explained the concept of ‘Mahat’ as “the projected
light from Absolute consciousness.” Just as a seed swells up
before sprouting and then sprouts and grows, so also the Absolute
Consciousness projects light, manifests as the ego and grows up as
the body and the universe.11
According to Sri Ramana, Cosmic Consciousness is the same as
Absolute Consciousness. It exists before the birth of the ego and the
universe. It comprises them all. Just as all the pictures thrown on the
screen are visible by the light projected from a spot, so also the body
and the other objects are all visible in that reflected consciousness. It
is, therefore, also cosmic consciousness. Again, (in the microcosm)
the body and all other objects are all contained in the brain. The
impressions in the brain become manifest as the body and the
worlds. Because the ego identifies itself with limitations, the body
is considered itself with limitations, the body is considered separate
and the world separate.
10
Ibid., Talks, Talk§199.
11
Ibid., Talks, Talk§177.

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The undifferentiated consciousness of pure being is the Heart or
hridayam, which is what you really are. From the Heart arises the
‘I am’–ness as the primary datum of one’s experience. By itself it
is completely pure (śuddha-sattva) in character. It is in this form of
pristine purity (śuddha-sattva-svarūpa ), uncontaminated by rajas and
tamas (activity and inertia), that the ‘I’ appears to subsist in the jñāni.
When the mind perishes in the supreme consciousness of one’s own
Self, know that all the various powers beginning with the power of
liking (and including the power of doing and the power of knowing)
will entirely disappear, being found to be an imagination appearing in
one’s own form of consciousness. The impure mind which functions
as thinking and forgetting is saṁsāra, which is the cycle of birth and
death. The real ‘I’ in which the activity of thinking and forgetting
has perished, alone is the pure liberation. It is devoid of pramāda,
(forgetfulness of Self) which is the cause of birth and death.12
The truth of oneself alone is worthy to be scrutinized and known.
Taking it as the target of one’s attention, one should keenly know
it in the heart. This knowledge of oneself will be revealed only to
the consciousness which is silent, clear and free from the activity of
the agitated and suffering mind; know that the consciousness which
always shines in the Heart as the formless Self, ‘I’ and which is known
by one’s being still without thinking about anything as existent or
non-existent, that alone is the perfect reality.13
Truly speaking, pure consciousness is indivisible, it is without
parts. It has no form and shape, no ‘within’ and ‘without’. There is no
‘right’ or ‘left’ for it. Pure consciousness, which is the Heart, includes
all, and nothing is outside or apart from it. That is the ultimate truth.
From this absolute standpoint, the Heart, Self or consciousness
can have no particular place assigned to it in the physical body. What
is the reason? The body is itself a mere projection of the mind, and
the mind is but a poor reflection of the radiant Heart. How can that,
in which everything is contained, be itself confined as a tiny part
within the physical body which is but an infinitesimal, phenomenal
manifestation of the one reality? 
12
Sri Muruganar, Guru Vachaka Kovai, vv.433 & 1232.
13
Muni, Ganapati, Sri Ramana Gita, Ch.5, v.2.

64 April - June
Death in
Tiruvannamalai

Nadhia Sutara

F irst, let me say that this is a very personal account. Although others
of my vintage have had similar experiences and impressions, this
account reflects only my own.
The first thing I noticed when arriving in Tiruvannamalai in the
early 80s was a startling difference in people’s attitude toward death.
It was not something to be hidden away as though it didn’t exist – or
as if we all wished it didn’t exist. It is as much a part of life as is
birth, and I found Indians taking both parts in their stride in a much
healthier way than ever I saw in the West.
In order to give an appropriate backdrop to the major incident I
am going to describe, let me set the stage with the first death in India
in which I had any part, shortly after my arrival in Tiruvannamalai.
I was living on the Mountain in Guhai Namasivaya. Everything
was very sparse and Spartan in those days: very few tourists, and
then only during the winter months; only about 10 Westerners were
living in Tiruvannamalai at the time, with 3 of us on the Mountain:
Theresa Rigos, Narikutti Swami and me. One day Theresa came to
Guhai Namasivaya and told me that the Mango Tree Cave swami,

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Subramaniam, had died. She explained to me that any and everyone
who had anything to do with the deceased was obliged to pay their
respects at the funeral ceremony, so I prepared to go. Maniswami, the
most literate of all the Mountain sadhus, was usually called in to do
the rites, and he was already there arranging things when I showed up.
The first thing I noticed besides the order that Maniswami
immediately brought to the situation was the Silence. I had never been
near a just-deceased person before in my life, not to mention a sadhu,
and the palpably thick spiritual Silence impressed me profoundly. I
had the same experience some years later when Sadhu Om died. In
fact, it has been my experience ever since that first one, that some
mysterious blessing lingers around the recently deceased, especially
if they have lived a spiritual life and not died in fear.
“What a difference to your garden variety Western funeral!” I
thought. First, nobody was sad or crying, and it had nothing to do
with the fact that Subramaniam Swami had managed to antagonize
or alienate almost everybody who knew him except Theresa, a saintly
lady and retired dentist, who had taken it upon herself to care for him
in his last days. He was dying of TB and gasping for breath for many
days before he expired.
She told us how she had offered to take him to the hospital where
they could make him more comfortable by giving him oxygen, but he
refused: he wanted to die on the Holy Mountain. She also told us that
with every single gasp of breath, this man whom nobody had respected
was repeating, “Arunachala! Arunachala,” once for the inbreath, once
for the outbreath, day and night, until the end.
Later, when I read how Ramana Maharshi always found something
good to say about a departed soul, I remembered how we all marvelled
at Mango Tree Swami’s fortitude and determination in refusing all
comfort and dying with his Ishta’s name on every single breath until
the last. Truly, we never knew him until the day of his death, when
we learned how profound his devotion had been!
After all the singing of Vedantic bhajans was over, the men took
Swami’s freshly washed and clothed body to be buried. Theresa,
Narikutti and I stayed behind at Theresa’s hut (Mango Tree Cave’s
former kitchen room) and, over tea and biscuits, discussed what we
wanted done with our bodies if we were lucky enough to die here.

66 April - June
DEATH IN TIRUVANNAMALAI
Narikutti Swami, whose name means ‘little jackal’, said that if at
all possible, he wanted his body to be left in a field as a banquet for
his namesakes, the jackals. He also mentioned that he wanted to die
sitting up. (Many years later he did manage to die sitting up, although
the jackals were deprived of their feast.) Theresa said that she, a
Catholic, wanted to die in meditation and be buried. And I firmly
stated that I wanted to die with Arunachala’s name on my lips and be
cremated without fuss or delay.
Our conversation was much more than matter-of-fact: it was
singularly important to all of us, a sacred thing, not a shame or a
tragedy or something to be hidden away. We were all going to die
one day, and we were describing our ‘best possible death scenario’.
All of this brings me to the story of Satya Bilas Mukherjee’s
death in January 1989. I was particularly friends with his son Somu
Mukherjee, who was closer to my age than his parents and uncle Satya
Prakash Mukherjee, who first brought the family from Calcutta to Sri
Bhagavan in 1951. The entire family visited at least once a year. S.P.
Mukherjee had built a house called ‘Upasana’ at Ramana Nagar in
1964 and died at Vellore CMCH in April 1974.
So, one day I happened to be walking down Osborne lane when I
bumped into Somu Mukherjee, who was speaking animatedly with
someone. As I approached, intending to go around them by way of
courtesy, Somu called to me: “Nadhia! Please come over! My father
died last night!” No, he was NOT crying. He was proud, triumphant
and full of joy!
So I joined him and he told me the following story:
Around midnight of the night just passed, his father called out
to him, “Somu, come quickly!” Somu got out of bed and ran to his
father. Somu’s wife, Aruna, also got up and came. They found his
father already sitting in padmasana.
“First,” Somu told me, “my father asked my wife to bring him a
glass of water, so she went to the kitchen. Before she could return,
he quickly told me that he was dying. He then raised his hands over
his head in profound Anjali, and cried, ‘No more I am!’”
Somu’s mother was seated on his right and Somu rushed up to
his left and quickly applied Bhagavan’s vibhūti to his forehead.
On application of the vibhuti his father gave a big sigh of immense

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MOUNTAIN PATH
satisfaction, and his head dropped onto Somu’s right shoulder. There
was no further intake of breath.
“I’m so proud of him, I have to tell everybody!” Somu concluded
and went off without waiting for the traditional laments. He didn’t
want any laments. His father had gone to the same One he had been
worshipping all his life: what was there to lament?
There have been many other blessed departures since then: quiet
leave-takings, private or among friends and family, unremarkable in
their simplicity and the serenity of the departed. But extraordinarily
remarkable in stark contrast to the denial, fear, even terror that I had
grown up with in the West. Although more than 30 years have passed
since Somu’s father passed gloriously into his Guru’s Grace, it has
remained with me as a living memory, a transformative reminder that
this Path of spirituality, sincerely and wholeheartedly pursued, does
indeed lead to the profoundly fearless and joyful end so exemplified
by our Sri Bhagavan and His devotees. 

Questions
Suresh Kailash

You who are praised as being


beyond the ken reach of speech,
with what prayers,
beaded with what words,
can you be reached?
And if it is through silence
that you must be sought,
then, who but you can nought
the clamour of love’s longing,
its fevered thought?
Ah, Ramana, if you won’t talk,
won’t I be forever lost
in the vastness of your quiet,
seeking answers to questions
I know not who else to ask?

68 April - June
The Maharshi and
Mantra
Part One
kays

The Sacred Syllable for Japa is the Utterance of the Guru.


  (Guru Gitā) v.74

T he mere presence of Bhagavan – the embodiment of jñāna in


all its regal grandeur and majesty – was in itself a ceaseless
transmission of liberating Awareness. The bliss of Transcendence he
was brimming with was continually radiating itself. His silence – “the
language of Grace rising from within”1 – was potent enough for one
to embark on a spiritual odyssey within, with Him as the helmsman
throughout the voyage. His speech was the song of the Absolute and
each word that sprang up, reverberating from the deep eternal silence,
was a mantra – nay, it was all at once – an initiation, instruction and
revelation. Hence the need for verbal initiation by way of mantra
never arose. Yet, either out of infinite compassion or divine urge, He
did pronounce a few mantras. These grand exceptions constitute a
beautiful bouquet of blossoms culled from the rich spiritual experience
harvested within Him, from the fields of non-dual jñāna. They,
trailing glories of the Self, the might of Truth and Grace, ever exude
the fragrance of Brahman. How supremely fortunate must have been
those direct recipients!
1
     (mauṉam uḷḷezhum oru mozhi
aruḷ nilaiyē) – Bhagavan, Sri Ramana Nool Thirattu, ‘Mauṉam’, p. 271, “Assorted
Verses and Utterances”.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Bhagavan never formally accepted anyone as his disciple. He, as
a rule, advised devotees to go beyond rituals, pūjā and japa and trace
all sounds back to their source.
In tune with the Upaniṣad-s, that trumpet loud and clear that
“Liberation is by knowledge alone” (  - jñānādeva
kaivalyam) and that “ātma-jñāna is the sole means to tranquillity”
(   :- ātmajñānameva viśrāntḥi), Bhagavan
emphasised that Self-enquiry is the sole means for Deliverance and
the way to usher in Supreme Beatitude. He declared “For everyone this
direct path is open”2 and “this path is far easier than all other paths.”3
However, he did approve of other Pathways to God like devotion,
because his view was that the Path suited to one’s temperament and
spiritual psyche was the best for one. He further assured us that “the
Guru will go with the disciple in his own path and then gradually turn
him into the Supreme Path at the ripe moment.”4
For instance when someone asked, “Will japa of gāyatrī do for
stilling of the mind?” Bhagavan answered, “Can anything excel it?”5
A devotee initiated into Śakti Pañcākśarī, known as Mantreśvara
(Lord of mantras), by his father, had been told that it was the means
to liberation. The son queried Bhagavan about it and on Bhagavan
agreeing to it, he further asked “If this is so, then are you also practising
the same mantra?” Bhagavan replied, “Yes! yes! the same mantra
only.” 6 The stand of Bhagavan, who lived ever as the source of all
sounds, is best explained in the words of Siva:
“I am the Form, essence and basis of all mantras.
Yet I remain, transcending them all, as the One Beyond.”7
Mantras are verbalisations by Seers of what is envisioned or
experienced by them in visions stretching from heaven to earth by
the sheer virtue of penance, pure and prolonged. But Bhagavan, ever
steeped in the silence of the Self, beyond sight and sound, abided
as the Sole Seer or the Infinite Eye in the void of Pure Awareness.
2
Upadēsa Undiyār, V. 17,   (mārkkam nērārkkumidu).
3
Āṉma Vidyā Kīrttaṉam, v. 4,   .
(emmārkkamedaṉiṉum immārkkam mikkeḷidu).
4
Mudaliar, A. Devaraja, Day by Day with Bhagavan, 22-11-45.
5
Venkataramiah, M, (compl.), Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi, Talk§322.
6
Ramana Darsanam. p.85.(English transalation)
7
Ātma Sākṣātkāra Prakaraṇaṁ, v. 8.

70 April - June
THE MAHARSHI AND MANTRA
When the Guru, after selecting the mantra most suited to the nature
and need of the disciple imparts it to him, he instils, along with it, his
own power of penance and experience; and the grace that accompanies
the mantra makes it pulsate with life in the very being of the recipient
and grants him fulfilment. If mantras were to emanate from a Guru
and Seer of the stature of Bhagavan, who is the Fullness of the Self,
who then can gauge the power and potency of these mantras?
A mantra from “the mighty Guru even to the Lord of Mantras.”
(    - mantreśvarasya mahato gurutāṁ
vahantam)8
In Bhagavan’s case, the first ever verbal pronouncement emerging
from the plenum of the Self – the Source – though a veritable ‘mantra’
for the entire gamut of ‘mantra-sastra’ and the path of vicāra, was,
however, not in the form of a mantra. Charting the Infinite through
both the paths of vichara and devotion, it provides perennial and
invaluable advice to seekers and devotees and it blazes a new trail in
the sphere of sādhana (spiritual practice).
New and original, unenunciated till then and not found in any
book, Bhagavan’s revelation of this mighty spiritual Truth demands
the exalted status of a ‘mahāmantra’ and ‘Mother of all mantras’.
And the worthy recipient was none other than Ganapati Muni, who
himself was reminiscent of a rishi of yore, due to his tapas [penance]
and upāsana [worship].
Ganapati Muni, endowed with gifts divine from childhood roamed
like a lion in every nook and corner of the Forest of the Vedas. After
drinking deep from the spring of mantra-sastra sang like a lark in
full-throated ease. Yet he was despondent and dispirited at not having
experienced any tangible benefit despite his prolonged and rigorous
tapas. In the divine scheme of things, this distress of the Muni was
to prove to be a boon to spiritual seekers at large. This is because
the Muni sought out the Brahmana Swami (as Bhagavan was known
then). Clutching Bhagavan’s feet, he pleaded, in a choked voice, to be
enlightened as to what tapas was. He confessed that this insight had
eluded his grasp despite his mastery over Vedanta and his recital of

8
Ramana Gita, Chapter 18, verse 15.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
countless crores of diverse japas. Preceded by Bhagavan’s silent gaze
for a full fifteen minutes, came the epoch-making pronouncement – a
veritable mantra:
“If you watch from within where the notion ‘I’ springs, the mind
is absorbed into That. That is tapas. When a mantra is repeated, if
attention is directed to the source from where the mantra sound is
produced, the mind is absorbed into That. That is tapas.”
Needless to say, waves of bliss rose up and soaked the Muni’s
frame. He felt that Bhagavan had bestowed on him a wealth of spiritual
consciousness beyond the reach of mantra japa. Ganapati Muni thereupon
declared Bhagavan to be the Sage of the Age and announced it to the
world. He had found a Master, a great Seer, a mighty spiritual Soul and
he therefore proclaimed, “Let the whole world know him as Bhagavan
Sri Ramana Maharshi.”9 This was indeed a singular act of greatness
bestowing a boon on humanity.
This service of the Muni to the world of devotees is two-fold: the
eliciting of the mantra from the Source – the silence of Bhagavan –
and in turn revealing a name and a mantra for Bhagavan, the chant
of which will lead many to Light and Liberation. In addition, he
drew forth from the Maharshi the upadeśa which besides affirming
traditional wisdom provided a new path and a paradigm shift from the
known methods of tapas and modes of meditation. The instruction to
trace the sound to its source and the thoughts to the thinker – the ‘I’
of the meditator – revolutionized the spiritual path and serves as the
lighthouse for all forms of tapas and modes of meditation.
The Guru appears to one when years or lives of penance make
one pure, fit and sufficiently ripe and competent. Initiation from a
Guru and Seer of the stature of Bhagavan is but the manifestation
of the ever-present Grace leading to the expansion of consciousness
and total liberation.
No wonder the scriptures hail in one voice:   
(nāsti gurvadhikam tatvam) “There is no Truth greater than the Guru.”

9
Those who know the Vedas in parts are called ‘Rishi’, those who are masters
of Vedas or who directly experience the Truth beyond and express the same in
gracious words arising out of the experience are called Maharshis. Masters and
Avatars exuding the divine presence of the Lord who teach Pure Truth leading to
enlightenment are called Bhagavan.

72 April - June
THE MAHARSHI AND MANTRA
The Guru mantra
Love may be to the Atman, the one Reality – Nameless, Formless – or
to the Infinite in a hallowed Name and Form or to a sacred syllable.
Both constitute the ‘Religion of Love’. Forms are innumerable but
the Name is all that exists. Bhagavan states that all Forms disappear
in the Name and the Name in ‘Nān’ (‘I’). “Ask anyone, he says ‘I’
and speaks of himself as ‘I’. Even if He is Īśvara, His name too is
‘I’ only.”10
Saint Namdev declares, “The all-pervading nature of the Name can
only be understood when one recognizes one’s own ‘I’.” One should
surrender oneself “first at the feet of the Guru and learn to know that
‘I’ myself is that Name. After finding the source of that ‘I’, merge your
individuality in that Oneness which is self-existent and devoid of all
duality.”11 When one knows oneself, then one finds the Name everywhere.
Hence, “Among the thousands of names of God, no name suits
God, who abides in the Heart, devoid of thoughts, so aptly as ‘I’ or
‘I AM’.”12
In the holy book of the Bible the only sentence printed in capital
letters, which is said to be uttered by God Himself, is, “I AM THAT
I AM.” And ‘Jehovah’ (‘Yahweh’), the name of God among the Jews,
means ‘I AM’. Lord Krishna said to Arjuna, “Ahamatma Gudakesa”
– “I AM is the Self” – residing in all Hearts. The Gopis of Vraja, the
exemplary and self-abnegating devotees of the Lord, sing of Him as
the Antarātman (the ‘Self-I’).
Vallalar exclaims in ecstatic joy:
I became It,
It became me,
We became the embodiment of gnosis
And It became IT.
‘I’ became ‘That’. ( ‘’ !)
Bhagavan’s disciple, Swami Madhavatirtha, says, “‘I’ is also the
guru mantra. It is said in the Bṛhadāraṇyaka-upaniṣad that the first
name of God is ‘I’. ‘Aham nama abhavat’. (‘He became the name
‘I’). OM came later. Atman always performs the japa of ‘I’.”13
10
Op.cit., Talks, Talk§582.
11
Op.cit., Talks, Talk§448.
12
Guru Vachaka Kovai, v.714.
13
Swami Madhavatirtha, p.233, Power of the Presence, Part I. ed. D. Godman.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
This ‘I’ shines beyond the pale of thought and sound, transcending the
realm of objective knowledge, and shines in thundering silence as ‘I’.
Bhagavan has also celebrated this mantra of the Lord in his
immortal hymn as, Thou dancest in the Heart (of all beings) as ‘Aham,
Aham’ (‘I-I’). ‘Heart’ is Thy name O Lord!14
How supremely fortunate were those direct recipients of this,
Bhagavan’s Guru Mantra.
“Because the Lord abides as the Self (‘I’), meditation on the Atman
is Supreme Love of the Lord.”15
Like fire in flint, oil in the sesame seed or the fragrance in flowers,
so too, behind the ego-self stands the atman as ‘I-I’ in the Hearts of
all. When the rising of the jīva as ‘I’ is keenly enquired within, feeling
one’s way to the source, there shines a soundless vibration as ‘I-I’ – the
flash of ‘Aham’ or Self – in the ethereal shrine of the Heart.
Bhagavan says, “In the interior of the Heart-cave Brahman alone
shines in the form of Atman with direct immediacy as ‘I-I’.”16
In fact, among devotees, the remark was sometimes made, that as
Bhagavan ever remained as the spiritual Heart, the constant shaking
of his head was to the rhythm or throb of “Aham, Aham”. If only
we can learn to trace and listen to this silent inner japa – or perhaps
‘ajapa’ – that goes on unceasingly within, and if we can be attuned
to it, the goal of Self-realisation will very soon be within reach.
‘I AM’ is both our goal and our ever-existing Reality. The Lord
who grants deliverance is the nameless formless content of ‘I-I’ – the
effulgence of munificent Grace. As ‘I-I’ dances in the Hearts of all –
both sinners and saints – as the ultimate embodiment of love, Vallalar
calls this ‘the Dance of Altruistic Love’ or ‘The Dance of Charity’.
Bhagavan hails it with the delectable phrase, ‘achala natanam’–
“the dance of stillness of the radiant ocean of limitless Grace – the
Self.”17
It is the vibration of the experience of svarūpa that is immovable
by virtue of its Perfect Wholeness. It is pure experience without any
14
Aruṇācala Pañcaratnam, v.2.
15
Sri Ramana Nool Tiraṭṭu, Bhagavan’s Assorted Verses. Parābhakti, p. 270.
   /  .
(āṉmāṉu sandāṉam aḥduparam īsabhatti/āṉmāvāy īsaṉ uḷaṉāl).
16
Ulladu Narpadu Anubandham, v.9.
17
Aruṇācala Aṣṭakam, v.7.

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distinction between the experience and the experiencer. It is Pure
Awareness, the form of Grace that keeps blessing all.
While the way to God (bhakti) is narrow and rough to trudge, the
path of vicāra (jñāna) is like the razor’s edge. In both, the monkey
mind, turned tipsy, may stage a guerrilla war. Practise of either
path demands purity of heart, perseverance and a certain amount of
egolessness/humility. Periods of languor and despair, called the ‘dark
nights of the soul’ may intervene and cause spells of lethargy.
But one is never outside the operation of Grace – because it is
transcendent. The oscillating mind/ego is the obstacle to the play of
Grace. But the Lord – the Self /‘I-I’ exudes eternal Grace. However,
the price He demands is our ‘head’ or ego. Be it vicāra (jñāna) or
devotion (bhakti), one has to give up one’s ego (‘head’) and die while
alive, in order to find the perfect Love. In the words of Kabir:
God’s House
Is the house of Love, not of an aunt.
Cut off your head, else you cannot enter.18
Holy Grace manifests Itself as the start of enquiry (jñāna vicāra)
or the dawn of love (bhakti) for the Lord. Mounting war against our
vāsanā-s (mental formations; habitual tendencies) It buoys up and
strengthens our efforts like a strong wind joining the blazing fire of
love or enquiry. The ‘I’ and ‘mine’ of the seeker/devotee are burnt
away in the flames of love (for the Self/Awareness or God), the
devotee’s efforts cease and holy passivity/stillness and parābhakti
ensue, heralding the dawn of Self-realisation.
Thus, the small self is rejoined to the Self-nature (Pure Being-
Consciousness or sat-chit) and one abides as ‘That’. Therefore, the
Lord who grants deliverance is the nameless, formless, thought-free
content of ‘I-I’. And that is the Supreme mantra – the Guru mantra.
While humanity at large was instructed in this japa, through his
writings and his words of grace, a fortunate few directly received this
teaching from Bhagavan Himself. 
(To be continued)

18
Granthavali, v. 272.

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Cheenu Srinivasan

View of a South Face of Mount Kailash from Lake Manasarovar


Australian Kailash
Yatra 2018
Part Three
Cheenu Srinivasan

Om Nama Shivaya
Om Namo Bhagavate Shri Ramanaya

The Four Day Parikrama around Mount Kailash


Our four-day parikrama in 2018 of the Outer Kora (some 52 km)
commenced from Darchen on Wednesday 12th September and finished
on Saturday 15th September. Successfully completing this Kora over
four days was the very purpose of our Kailash Yatra.
On the night of Tuesday 11th September, we had to repack in such
a way that we could only use half the volume in a duffel bag with the
other half to be shared with your spouse (or rooming partner of those
men and women travelling as ‘singles’ in our group). This was cargo
for the sturdy yaks on the Parikrama while the used clothes were left
behind at Darchen in our other duffel bag.
Day 1: Darchen to Dirapuk (20km)
Driving a short distance from our Darchen guest house, we arrived at
the Kora’s starting point called Yamadwar (Tibetans call this gateway
Cheenu Srinivasan lives in Sydney, Australia, was drawn into Bhagavan’s orbit
some fifteen years ago and visits Sri Ramansramam regularly. He feels blessed
that he and his wife Soumya could bring waters from Lake Manasarovar and
Gowri Kund for abhiṣekam at Bhagavan’s shrine last February.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
‘Tarboche’), the gateway of the God of Death through which one
enters the abode of Lord Shiva.
We spent over an hour waiting for our ponies (mules) to arrive
with their handlers. Soon thereafter yaks were sighted and a few men
to herd them with their cargo of our luggage-duffel bags, groceries,
gas cylinders, stoves, pots and pans.
It is worthwhile recalling here that from the very early planning
stages of our Kailash Yatra, our leader had instructed us all to only
carry our bare essentials in our backpack, trekking poles and at least
a litre of water. He had also insisted that each of us should hire an
animal (US$565/- cash!) as there is no way to fetch one at short notice
should we sprain an ankle or feel too tired to walk some 15-20 km
each day while on the Kora.
After what seemed a protracted discussion, the pony handlers
agreed to carry our backpacks and, from a lottery system, we got an
animal and its keeper assigned to each of us. The Tibetan name of the
horseman was provided in the slip with instructions that we were to
keep it safe and get acquainted with the size, colour and gear of the
animal and its handler! This turned out to be a tough call in my case,
with a difficult to pronounce Tibetan name, while my wife got it easy
with a three letter horseman, the lovely young man Uri.
The last time I had been on horseback was in Alberta, Canada at a
classmate’s farm. They were huge farm horses while these ponies in
Tibet were much smaller. I decided that I would conserve energy and
not walk on Day 1 of the Kora. Having paid some significant cash,
why not enjoy a slow ride is what I thought.
Getting atop the animal and sliding our trekking shoes between
the stirrups was a tough ask. The art of swinging your leg over the
saddle was one to master and stiff hamstrings do not help. There are
no reins and one holds on to a semicircular handle that sits in front
of the saddle. To my discomfort and that of many of the others, we
found that the handle was too small for our gloved hands to go under
and that barely two fingers could be used from each hand to hold on
for dear life on these animals!
The ride though was pleasant despite people advising me to expect
a sore back and bum. Perhaps my fitness was up to scratch that I
experienced no such discomfort and even began to enjoy the slow
pace. My only regret was that I could not take photos while riding

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AUSTRALIAN KAILASH YATRA 2018
but found a way out. Young Tsering Sherpa agreed to take pictures
and was given a quick lesson on composing and shooting in the
automatic mode.
This leg of the Kora with substantially long stretches of gentle
climbs and descents was very pleasant. The weather that day was kind
to us and those who preferred to walk kept a good pace while those
of us on our ponies did well to avoid falls and keep our balance, both
mental and physical.
After a pre-packed lunch and the animals having earned their feed
and rest, we hobbled back on to our respective animals and went
ahead. I realised that mounting the pony was a lot easier than getting
off it! Thanks to large boulders along the way, these served well as
stepping blocks where needed.
We reached Dirapuk around 5 PM and there was plenty of light
before the sun disappeared behind the clouds. In front of our rest house
(more like freight containers, making up our dorm accommodation),
rose majestically Mount Kailash. We were just a few kilometres,
perhaps 6-7 km or so, from the North Face of the mountain.
A hard day’s trek does demand at a minimum sound rest overnight
so that we are all well prepared for the steep climb to the North Face.
For reasons inexplicable, a number of us were denied our booked
accommodation as the Tibetan agent at Dirapuk had double booked
and hence our sleeping quarters remained the property of the previous
night’s occupants!
While heated arguments and reasoning were not helpful, we
resigned ourselves to our fate We needed to have our dinner and
somehow manage that night, knowing that we would be better
accomodated for the second night’s stay at Dirapuk. Despite our
discomfort and cramped sleeping arrangements, we snatched some
rest, accepting it as part of the divine play.
Day 2: Towards the North Face from Dirapuk (12-15km
return)
The morning of Thursday 13th September felt special as this was the
day when many of us were going to get a lot closer to HIM. With the
medical team advising us who could go on the steep climb and who
could not, everyone of us knew his/her capacity to take it on and hence
there was no real argument. A small group of men and five women

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MOUNTAIN PATH
walked varying distances towards a look-out point, while the rest in
our group of 19 went ahead with our Sherpas.
The climb towards the North Face presented many challenges: a
gushing stream, large boulders, the odd yak and here and there ice a
few inches thick. With a steady, slow and measured step, with a full
view of the holy mountain in front of us, we were all drawn towards
HIM by an unknown and unknowable power. One felt HIS presence
and guiding hand, step by step.
Some three hours into our climb, we stopped to be absorbed in the
sheer beauty of the majestic mountain before us, to say our prayers
to Śiva, prostrate and have a lunch break. Even to get to this vantage
point to the North Face, we had to dodge warning flags along the way
and had taken a chance, as the Sherpa leader was confident that we
could push ahead.
Three men in our group with great mental resolve and physical
capacity, all aged below the mid-forties, had decided to venture
further with the Sherpas, one of whom was carrying an ice axe. The
call of Lord Śiva must have been unstoppable for these men, as they
gingerly walked another 3.5 km or so across frozen crevices beating
the arrival of a potential snow storm to reach the North Face. These
men along with their Sherpas were the chosen few who were able to
touch the mountain and return to base safely, some two hours after
we had returned to base.
That evening we celebrated Ganesh Chathurthi much like how the
puja would have been done at home. Our leader had planned every
small detail and one can only say that it was a blessing indeed to
witness first hand his ‘shraddha’ right through the two hour session
that included the offering of traditional ‘modakas’ for Ganesha and
the Telugu custom of telling stories about Ganesha.
Timed to perfection, one of our young Yatrikas who had braved
it all to reach the North Face had just returned to base and joined us
at the puja. He gave us a first person account of his experience in
Telugu (with a brief summary in English thereafter) on how he had
felt some kind of magnetic aura around the holy mountain and how he
had totally surrendered to HIM in his quest to get to HIS proximity.
By any account what we all heard was the most stirring and
spiritually laden moment of our entire yatra. Moist eyes and visible
tears of spiritual emotion were beyond anyone’s control. It was indeed

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Cheenu Srinivasan

North Face of Mount Kailash


MOUNTAIN PATH
the best first person narration I had ever heard, even if the finer points
of an alien language Telugu, had escaped me.
The puja completed and the prasad taken, it was time for our
Ganesha to be sent off on his journey (visarjan) down the stream
flowing down from the North Face. Dinner followed, our Diamox
taken and a peaceful night’s rest summoned.
As for me, I too had HIS blessing, retiring on a bed where I could
close my eyes seeing HIM to my left and waking up in the morning
looking up again at HIS majestic presence. I could not have asked
for more.
Day 3: Dirapuk to Zutrulpuk (18 km)
Friday 14th September, our third day on the Kora was by all accounts
going to be a challenge taking on the Dolma La Pass at 5630 m. I had
decided to ride the pony that morning and not to take any chances.
Many of our more able men had decided to continue with their walk
of the Kora.
Over many steep climbs and long stretches of sheer beauty and
winds that suddenly roared and as quietly disappeared in silence, each
of us had to keep our focus, the walkers focusing on the next step
forward, while the riders were either leaning forward while climbing,
or leaning back while descending. Even the poor animals needed to
pause every now and then.
On approaching the Dolma La Pass, we dismounted and walked
upwards taking in the little lake of Gowri Kund to our right. The many
prayer flags there fluttered to wind swept music of their own while
Yatrikas from other groups slowly made their way through the Pass,
just like us, after passing through the glaciers.
The descent from Dolma La Pass is not for the faint hearted and
weak of limbs. It is very, very steep with loose soil and gravel that
easily gives way, calling for extreme caution and attention to every
step down the incline. Eventually one gets to substantially easier
terrain and the sight of a campsite at a distance warms our hearts
with the prospect of a well-earned break for lunch, water and protein
nibbles.
During the last stage of the climb, I had lost my horseman and
with him my backpack, wallet tucked away at the bottom, water
bottle and camera. I was a bit concerned that he may have bolted and

82 April - June
AUSTRALIAN KAILASH YATRA 2018
anxiety got the better of me till being reassured by Tsering Sherpa
that the backpack would be safe and I need not worry. On reaching
the campsite, I sought out my lad and he seemed totally at ease as if
nothing had happened!
Our lunch was a samosa, a piece of cheese, an apple and a fruit
drink, all consumed gratefully while a chocolate bar was happily
eaten by my horseman alongside a few pieces of chewing gum and
protein bars and nuts. The walkers were trickling in and soon our
assembly of orange down jackets signalled our group’s safe crossing
of Dolma La Pass.
After our lunch break, some of us were back on our ponies while
a few took to walking along with those who had walked all day. Our
evening destination of Zutrulpuk was some three hours away We were
now on substantially lower gradient climbs and descents. Though tired,
one could not afford to go to sleep while in the saddle.
It was only at the lunch break that my wife Soumya, told me that
she had fallen a couple of times prior to Dolma La Pass. She said
that she was fine despite a severe headache. The fear of falling off
the animal banished sleep from my mind. Safety first, safety always,
were the rules to be adhered to at all times on a Kailash Yatra.
Speaking of safety, our leader now on his fourth Kora had the
benefit of prior experience and he had, therefore insisted that we all
wear helmets while riding the ponies. My wife, unbeknown to me, had
removed her helmet as it was aggravating her persistent headache. I
was none too pleased with her defense as you would expect protective
spouses to be!
We arrived at Zutrulpuk a little after 4.30 pm and our logistics
folks had their task cut out, thankfully this time with adequate beds
averaging four per room. Of these two places which provided just the
bare minimum overnight accommodation – Dirapuk and Zutrulpuk,
Zutrulpuk was much worse. Even the Tibetan public facilities were
obnoxiously filthy and therefore we asked for our private toilet tents
to be made ready at the earliest.
The yaks in their wisdom had decided to give our bags very rough
treatment. Several of our duffel bags arrived with completely ripped
sides and smeared with dung, dust and grime. Thankfully, most of us
had stuck to the discipline of packing our belongings in plastic storage
bags which had endured rather well their ride on yaks.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Dinner that evening saw the welcome return of our soup laced
with garlic that we had missed earlier. With a few of us still suffering
relentless headaches, the medical team advised us that where possible,
spouses should stay together. This, no doubt, was a well thought
through recipe for recovery and it worked well.
My wife outlined her rationale now for not wearing a helmet saying
her two falls took her sideways and that her head was not anywhere
near the ground! Our rooming partner, calm and collected at all times,
offered just a few words: ‘I happen to know a little about head injuries
as a neuro-surgeon’. You can bet your bottom dollar that my wife’s
helmet was now going to be on her head for the last leg of the Kora!
Day 4: Zutrulpuk to Darchen (14km)
The final day’s trek from Zutrulpuk to Darchen was relatively
easy with the hills to our right and the river to our left, with steep
gorges at many places over the 14 km stretch.The Kora path reduces
significantly in width with sign posts urging people to dismount and
walk.
I had decided to walk the entire distance, given that I now had had
enough of riding. Besides, I wanted to take a few pictures now that
we were on the home stretch back to our starting town of Darchen.
On arriving at our finishing point, we parted with the animals
and handlers who had to return for their next Kora. With the four-
day trek now complete, our phone/cameras were on overdrive with
pictures being snapped of the now successful 19 Yatrikas and our
accompanying team of Sherpas.
A few in our group were not done yet and decided to walk back to
the town of Darchen, which was a few kilometres away, while the rest
of us were content with our mission accomplished and to get sooner
to the relative luxury of a more acceptable place of overnight rest.
At Darchen we discovered that we needed to find alternative
accommodation as the plumbing was a problem at the place we had
stayed earlier. Luckily, an alternative venue was found shortly after
we had eaten our packed lunch.
The evening saw us celebrate our leader’s birthday. It was only
fitting that it also doubled up as an evening to celebrate given the
successful completion of our four-day Kailash Outer Kora.

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Returning to Pasupathinath Temple, Kathmandu
On the morning of Sunday 16th September, we took our last look at
Mount Kailash from Darchen before our long drive to Saga. Tempting
as it was to break journey at Lake Manasarovar, we decided that
staying on the road to reach Saga by sunset was prudent.
Given the good road in this stretch, there was little drama. We
craned our necks for yet another distant peek of Mount Kailash and
Lake Manasarovar. Our lunch stop was timed with a bio-break coupled
with the regulatory 20 minute stop. Saga was reached by sunset after
driving past the now familiar sand dunes and the Brahmaputra river
and its tributary.
Our Tibetan guide worked his charm with his network of local
Saga contacts and advised us to be ready for an early morning
departure at 6 am to avoid the massive delays caused when Chinese
workers started work at 8 am on the construction of a new highway
running parallel to the dirt track we had taken a few days earlier
from Gyirong to Saga if it meant we could reach. Foregoing a little
sleep if it meant reaching Gyirong earlier, made sense to all of us.
With some well-honed and safe driving skills, our Chinese driver
reached the T-Junction heading to Gyirong in record time. The
previous high-altitude hillside of 5236 m hardly excited any of us.
‘Yes, we have been to greater heights this time’ seemed to resonate
in all of us!
It was at one of our mandatory 20 minute halts near Gyirong that
I spoke to our leader suggesting that at lunch, we serve our Sherpas
first before we have our lunch. Somewhat surprised but agreeing to
my request, he asked me to run this past the Nepali Sherpa leader,
Wangchhu Sherpa. After I had explained why I felt this was important
for us 19 yatrikas to do, as a small act of saying thanks, Wangchhu
Sherpa agreed. And with that perhaps for the first time in their lives, the
Sherpas were served their food ahead of their Kailash Yatra paymasters!
Post lunch, our formal thanks were said by our leader, and gift
monies were given to each of the Sherpas, guides and the Chinese
driver. All that was now left to be done was to rest, recover and finally
say goodbye to Diamox!
Early on the morning of Tuesday 18th September, we set off for the
45 minute downhill drive to the Tibet-Nepali border of Rasuwagadi.
Immigration processing went without a hitch, with us lining up as

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1-19 as at every one of the Chinese check posts. It was time now to
bid goodbye to our very dear Tibetan guide, Phung Tso and his mate
Gamma. They were remarkable for their service and had worked
seamlessly with Wangchhu Sherpa and his men.
Crossing the so-called friendship bridge, we now re-entered
the familiar world of utter chaos in Nepal and safely made it to
Kathmandu, but not without some drama, overcoming landslides and
a long wait for our chopper flights.
Our Kailash Yatra leader, Doctor Garu as we called him, had
composed beautiful verses in Telugu invoking the grace of Lord
Pasupathinath for our pilgrimage. We returned to have HIS darshan in
thanksgiving on the morning of Wednesday 19th September grateful
that 19 of us had successfully completed our Kailash Yatra.
Impressions after a Kailash Yatra
Everyone of us had set out with some expectations based on reading
books and blogs, watching videos and hearing from people who had
been to Mount Kailash. While the core purpose of the pilgrimage
was a dip in the holy Lake Manasarovar and the parikrama of Mount
Kailash, our expectations set the backdrop against which impressions
were formed of our experience.
I had read and heard that it was tough and that no amount of mental
and physical preparation can be deemed adequate to face the realities
that one encounters on this yatra. I was prepared as best I could and
completing the yatra largely trouble free was a blessing and immensely
fulfilling. My wife and I realised then, and on our return home, that
mere words are inadequate. There is that inherent undercurrent of calm
that we are both aware of at some deep level within us to tap into.
One of my friends had asked us if it was true from our experience
of the Kailash Yatra that faith moves mountains? This is best answered
from my wife’s experience. She was suffering from relentless
headache and low oxygen levels in her blood count. While not serious
enough to warrant oxygen, it was a testing time for her and our expert
medical team. Determined to recover and to realise her dream of a
Kailash parikrama, she wandered off to sit alone by the shores of
Lake Manasarovar and focussing on the distant Mount Kailash, she
had prayed intensely. That evening she recovered well and was fit
again for the most arduous leg of the yatra over the next four days.

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Cheenu Srinivasan

Gauri Kund from Dol Ma La Pass


MOUNTAIN PATH
People have asked us what surprised us most. In all honesty, I
was surprised myself as was my wife that we were able to handle the
situation from day to day adjusting to the facts and conditions before
us even when at times one had reason to feel depressed because
things went completely off plan. All of us in our group had to endure
disappointments, accept them and move on.
Then there is the question of whether the yatra has changed our
outlook on life. I would say it has to a remarkable degree that we see
things with quiet reflection and empathise a lot more having seen
with others, the conditions in Tibet and Nepal: the poverty and lack
of health and hygiene that we don’t face as existential issues in our
own daily lives.
Does one feel different now after the yatra? The answer is an
emphatic ‘yes’ though it is for others to make a judgement on this.
My friends have told me that I have become a lot quieter and that at
times my body language gives away my inability to stand social trivia!
As for the overall insights gained, both my wife and I recognied
that even a spiritual yatra cannot over the short span of 10 days put
a long term lid on our mind’s vessel of ‘vasanas’. To put the lid back
on old ways of thinking and reacting, we are well aware that we have
the free will to act and that act we can. That to me personally is an
enduring insight that will stand the test of time and have me return to
my own core, that the Kailash Yatra has made me aware of.
Would I want to go on another Kailash Yatra? For my wife and I
going on the yatra was indeed a dream come true. On the other side
of 65 years, we both need to rest content within and be of help where
we can for others to realise their dreams of a Kailash Yatra. Even a
spiritual desire is a desire after all. But then one can never say never
if HE beckons, even if it is time now for me to travel within.
At the time of writing this article, close to a year after our
Kailash Yatra of 2018, I am aware that both the Indian and Chinese
governments are working to improve the comfort of Kailash Yatrikas
with more Rest Houses and public amenities. While this is welcome
news, let me conclude with the few takeaways that I can offer:
- Prepare as best you can;
- Accept surprises and sudden change of plans;
- Leave only footprints and respect nature’s vagaries; and
- Be in the moment at all times. 
88 April - June
The Art of Dying

Suresh Natarajan

“If you die before you die, then when you die, you don’t die.”
― Inscribed on a wall at St. Paul’s Monastery, Mount Athos.

M emories, however beautiful they may seem, are dead things.


And all we take ourselves to be, the I, is just memory. One
may argue that my body is not a memory. It is certainly true that the
body functions with no memory and lives perfectly in the moment.
The heart never seems to compare how I pumped blood yesterday
with how I am doing today. The liver doesn’t crave for any particular
food but just works on digesting whatever is passed on. And so with
each organ. They just handle what they are meant to do in any given
moment in the best possible way with a tremendous intelligence that
is untouched by thought. And when the machinery gets worn out or
abused long enough, they gracefully stop working too without any
conception of death. But we have no idea of how the body functions
in the actual sense except through what the physiologists tell us,
which is just memory. And then there is the all cultural input of what
constitutes beauty which is again acquired memory. So, our conception
of ‘my body’ is entirely a construct of memory. Therefore, it results
in comparisons, goals, praying for longevity, etc., all of which the
body doesn’t seem to care abouut one bit.

Suresh Natarajan may be contacted at [email protected]

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Our idea of ‘my mind’ is of course entirely a construct of memory.
All it is, is a fictitious entity made up of opinions, ideas, images,
knowledge, experiences all gathered up from the past and stored
over time. And any identities associated with one’s race, religion,
caste, colour, creed, country, etc. all belong to the mind — they are
just acquired memories. That’s why it always happens that one with
enough persuasive skills is able to tap into ones identity by playing up
an imagined version of a glorious past and blowing it out of proportion,
while making other identities look inferior and cause men to kill men
for the sake of ideas.
So, when we refer to the first-person pronoun ‘I’, it only implies
an identification with the body and the mind in their various avatars.
Therefore, there is the I that is nationalistic or linguistic, the I that is a
family man or a bachelor, the I that is a student or a professional, the
I that is healthy or sick, etc. Underlying all of these various avatars
is the basic superimposition of an idea or memory from the past as
one’s own identity.
Because this superimposed identity for the ‘me’ and the other plays
an outsized role in all relationships, our energy goes only into sustaining
and strengthening these identities, as we relate with others in various
ways. We are unable to pay attention to the act of relating itself.
This being the case, we look for a way out of this mess. But the
paradox is that the very looking for a way out of the mess is based on
an idea that there is an individual entity in there who can be free of
this mess and supposedly live in an ‘enlightened’ or ‘realized’ manner.
It is only another trick conceived and dangled by thought in front of
us to perpetuate itself.
This very idea is again an image from the past and therefore
continues the same neurosis in a different form by creating an image
of a seeker who is then practising various techniques and methods,
gathering more and more knowledge, all in an effort to attain another
image from the past and ‘become’ an enlightened being. But any
process of becoming through time is always temporary and when the
underlying cause of the becoming wears out, the effect ceases to be.
This is the reason Adi Sankara emphatically states that any amount
of karma (action), however pious can never result in freedom. Jnana
(direct realisation) alone is the way.

90 April - June
THE ART OF DYING
So, what is this direct realisation? Death. Not the physical killing
of the body, which only continues the same mess in a different form.
Instead it is dying to the past. It is dying to all the memories that are
built up as images in our minds and cloud over the simple presence
of being that makes all actions possible.
It is dying to all outgoing interests such as politics, economics,
social activism, art, entertainment etc.
It is dying not only to the so-called worldly images, but also to all
the so-called religious or spiritual images.
It is dying to all methods and techniques.
It is dying to all insights and understanding.
It is dying to any imagined state of freedom.
It is dying to all intentions and desires including the desire for
liberation.
It is dying to making a merely mechanical practice out of any
teaching such as self-inquiry, complete attention, surrender etc.
It is simply to be extremely alert and instantly deny the past, no
matter in what form it rises.
Then the body continues with its own tremendous intelligence,
now unburdened by thought-created psychosomatic troubles. The
transactional memory necessary to recognize people, places and things
continues to work perfectly. Thought falls into its place functioning
sanely and intelligently for what it is meant to do — handling other
products of thought such as cars, computers, cooking and other
functional aspects of living.
Therefore, what we need to learn is the art of dying in each
moment. There is no need then for any ‘art of living’ which would
be only another borrowed idea from the past. When the art of dying
is learned, living takes care of itself in the most harmonious manner.
And all conceptualization of meditation or surrender stops and true
meditation or surrender begins, which is to just be.
“Do not meditate — be.
Do not think that you are — be.
Do not think about being — you are.”1 — Sri Ramana Maharshi

Swaminathan, K., The Mountain Path, Vol.18, No.1, 1981.
1

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HOW I CAME TO BHAGAVAN

The Valley of Great


Peace
Part Two
Sharon Maas

December 1973 – May 1974


I had come home. Walked under the arch. Ahead of me was the majestic
Arunachala Hill. I walked across the sandy entrance courtyard, into the
Ashram premises. My heart thumped so loudly I could feel it, almost
hear it. A little thin Indian man with greying hair, dressed all in white,
approached me, a smile upon his face, hands together in a namaste.
“Welcome, welcome!” he said. “I am Raja, the ex-postmaster.
Where are you coming from?”
A tricky question. I’d come overland; a flight from Guyana, South
America, to London, and from there trains, buses, budget hotels
through Europe, Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan, North India down to
Tamil Nadu.
“Oh, you have come a long way. I will take you to the Ashram
office.”
I followed him up the slight flight of steps to a low building on the
left, past what seemed to be a small temple. “Just go in and register
yourself,” said Raja, and left me to my fate.

Sharon Maas is the author of ten novels.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Inside the dark building sat a man on the floor in front of a low
desk. He had white hair, fair skin for an Indian, and a stern expression
on his face. Quite the opposite of Raja’s welcoming smile.
I showed him V. Ganesan’s letter of invitation.
“How long?” He snapped the question.
I wanted to say “forever”, of course, but instead I stuttered
something about “as long as possible”.
“Three days!” he snapped again and shoved a key across the desk at
me, with a room number on it. “Morvi Guest House, across the road.”
That was it. Three days! I was stunned, both by his unfriendly
reception and by the “three days”. I wanted to cry out, “but this is my
forever home!” But I was simply too stunned to object. I walked away.
Outside the office, Raja was waiting for me. “I will show you to
your room,” he said, and led me back out to the street and across the
road to a large compound containing a central building and what
looked like rooms in a square around three outside walls. My room
was a tiny cubicle, a little cot filling half the space. I was used to
simple lodgings and it seemed wonderful to me; I was more worried
about the “three days”. They sounded like a sentence, a verdict on
my unsuitability to this place. Raja left me to settle in; I collapsed
on to the cot and had a bit of a weep. The journey here had been so
exhausting, so filled with anticipation; and now I was to be thrown
out! In a country that was not my own, where I was a stranger, so far
from family and friends…
But – I was home, and soon my joy at being here at all outweighed
my fears. I pulled myself together, had a quick shower in the little
bathroom near my room, changed my clothes, and went out into the
sunshine.
Closing the door on another room across the courtyard was a pretty
young blonde woman, who immediately smiled at me and introduced
herself as Marlies, from Germany. She spoke perfect English.
“How long are you staying?” It was a question I was to hear over
and over again, but on that first day it had the power to bring tears
to my eyes.
“The man in the office said three days!” I replied.
“Ah, Mr Koppikar. Don’t worry about that grumpy old man. I will
talk to him. He will extend it to a week or two.”

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HOW I CAME TO BHAGAVAN
I wanted to say that even a week or two was too short, but I was
too overcome with gratitude to protest: she would help, and that was
the main thing. We walked over to the Ashram together, crossing a
quiet road, dodging a bicycle or two, a bullock cart, a horse-drawn
tonga, a bicycle rickshaw.
“This road is too busy,” said Marlies. “Those bicycle rickshaws
don’t look where they are going; they just rely on their bells. Be
careful.”
She grabbed my hand and led me across. We walked under the
Ashram arch, and there was Raja again. It seemed he was the Ashram’s
self-appointed Meeter and Greeter. He took over from Marlies.
“Would you like me to show you around?” he asked, and I nodded.
I’d like nothing better. And so he led me from one place to the
next. The Mother’s Temple, the Samadhi Shrine and Big Hall, the
Mahanirvana Room, and, finally, the Meditation Hall.
“This is where Bhagavan used to give darshan,” he whispered,
and dropped down to a full-body prostration. It was the first time I
had seen such a thing, and I was slightly perplexed: should I do the
same? What was the etiquette here? For the time being I left it; I placed
my hands together in a namaste, and felt the swelling of love in my
heart as I gazed into Bhagavan’s eyes. This was it; this really was it.
This was Him, and He had brought me right here to his feet. It was
as if He was sitting there himself, alive as ever, not just a portrait. I
was overwhelmed; instinctively I sank to my knees, bowing down,
touching my head to the floor.
We continued our tour. Raja pointed out the dining hall, showed
me the men’s living quarters at the back of the Ashram, the gate that
led up to Skandashram; the Veda school, the cowshed, the library,
next door to the cowshed, right at the back of the Ashram: a tiny dark
room lined with bookshelves.
A young man sat at a small desk. “This is Philip,” said Raja, and
introduced me. Philip greeted me with a huge smile and a British
accent. I looked at Raja and said, “Thank you – I’ll stay here for a
while and look at the books.”
Books were my lifeline, my anchor, my lifesavers. It was a book
that had brought me to this place, brought me home. I knew the power
of books, and, after the meditation hall, I knew that the library would

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be my favourite place in the Ashram. I stayed, looked at the books,
chatted with Philip, told him my story, heard his.
Like Marlies, he was here long term, had been coming for years,
was an old hand, unlike me, a rank newcomer. But he did not make
me feel like a newcomer, a stranger; he spoke to me as a friend,
one who shared a precious secret. The sense of having come home
strengthened. If not for that ‘three days’ sentence hanging over me…
Soon it was dinner time, announced by a loud metal gong. A few
people had gathered at the door to the dining hall, Indians as well as
Westerners. It seemed that I counted as a Westerner, in spite of my
dark skin; it was my hair, wild and woolly, and my clothes, trousers
and T-shirt, which identified me as a foreigner.
We filed in: a large red-tiled room, the walls covered in framed
photographs of Bhagavan, other saints and sages, devotees, a section at
the back divided off by a portable screen. Against the left wall, a large
portrait of Bhagavan, which everyone greeted as they walked past.
We sat in rows on the floor, behind leaf-plates. Foreigners occupied
two rows and sat all together, because there was a special non-spicy
food for foreigners. Servers walked up and down the row, ladling
vegetables and rice on to our leaf-plates, filling our metal tumblers
with buttermilk and warm milk, handing out a banana each at the end.
Discreetly I eyed the other foreigners. There was Marlies, chatting
animatedly with a dark-haired young woman. There was a particular
couple: I had seen them enter together, and at once recognised them as
somehow “remarkable”: the way they laughed together, the confidence
and joy they emitted, the sense that they were old-timers here, that
they belonged in a way I did not. I would see them many times over
the next day or two: at mealtimes, tea time in the afternoon, walking
together, always together, always so joyful. I felt a yearning to know
them: I found out their names were Hugo and Jacqueline. Hugo was
German, Philip told me, a homeopathic doctor who lived here full
time, and Jacqueline was French who came from Paris every year
for the winter. He spoke of them, especially of Hugo, with a trace of
awe in his voice.
A day or two later, soon after breakfast, I saw the two of them walk
across the back courtyard along with a couple of other foreigners:
Philip, Marlies, one or two others I had not met yet. There was a

96 April - June
HOW I CAME TO BHAGAVAN
purpose to their stride: I watched. They walked out the back and
through the little metal gate that led to Skandashram. I waited a minute
or two, and followed. It was my first walk up to Skandashram.
I had read about this path. In the early days Bhagavan lived up in the
little mountain hermitage a little way up the Hill from Tiruvannamalai
town. His mother, desperate to find him after he had left home as a
sixteen-year-old, eventually located him and joined him there as one
of his early devotees. He eventually lived there for seven years, or
until she passed away – absorbed into the divine consciousness which
is the true Self of us all. She was buried as a self-realised saint at the
bottom of the hill, exactly on the spot where the Mother’s Temple
now stands, and every day Bhagavan would walk down through the
stones and thorns to visit her grave. One of the then devotees, noting
the rough path down the hill, single-handedly built a solid path of
stones; the very path I was now walking up, stepping from one stone
to the next. A walk of about half an hour.
It is a mesmerising walk to this day. After a few minutes one is
alone on the Hill, alone in a shallow valley that seems as deeply silent
as a desert night. There were no trees, no plants, nothing but the soft
mounds on all sides, and behind it all the Hill rising up to its perfect
peak. Lemon grass, thin lime green blades almost waist high, waved
in the breeze as if gently stroked by a giant hand. Here and there,
huge grey stones reared up in shapes and sizes that seemed almost
prehistoric. A sense of deep peace rested along this walk; I felt it as
surely as I felt my own breath, the beating of my heart.
I walked slowly, and from the start the group I was following
seemed to have shaken me off – I was alone in the vast solitude of
the Hill, and every step seemed to be something special, something
holy, something deep and still and breath-taking.
The path made a few gentle turns; soon I was above the town,
shrouded by a gentle mist out of which the towers of the great temple
rose. And finally, I walked up the stone staircase that would take me
to Skandashram. Nobody was there. The door was open, but the two
tiny rooms of the Ashram were empty. There was nobody in the front
courtyard, nobody anywhere around.
I sat for a while on the concrete wall overlooking the town, closed
my eyes to once more absorb the peace of the place, then returned

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MOUNTAIN PATH
the way I had come, somehow disappointed. I’d been hoping to find
Hugo’s group. Perhaps they’d gone up to the mountaintop.
The following day the same thing happened. The group walked
up the path, I followed shortly after them, but once at Skandashram
they disappeared. On the third day I did it differently. I left for
Skandashram immediately after breakfast, and, halfway up the Hill,
chose a convenient flat rock on which to sit and meditate. To be sure,
after a few minutes I saw them coming; Hugo, followed by Philip and
the others. I saw them, they must have seen me sitting there. Philip
was talking to Hugo. I sensed that he was talking about me.
Sure enough: as he drew even with me Hugo stopped, smiled
at me, and spoke. “Philip tells me you have to leave the Ashram?
Why don’t you look for a private accommodation? I can see what is
available if you like.”
Slightly dumbstruck, I nodded my thanks. He spoke again: “You
are a writer I heard? A journalist?” I nodded again. He chuckled.
“You are very young. First you must have something to write
about!”
He chuckled again and walked on, followed by the group.
And by me, at a little distance.
This time, I would definitely see where they went.
But I didn’t. I reached Skandashram, and, as on the two previous
days, it was empty.
The next day was Christmas Day. I still had nowhere to live, though
I had been grudgingly granted a short extension of my Ashram stay
by the sullen Mr Koppikar. But time was running out. Again, I walked
up to Skandashram. I had started to love this walk for its own sake,
and always spent up to an hour meditating there once I reached it.
But I was still curious as to where the others disappeared to. Today
would probably be no different…
But it was. As I walked past the little grove of trees outside the
Ashram, someone called out to me: “Hello there!”
I turned to see a very bronzed young man, wearing just a red lungi,
approach, holding out a bag.
“Hello,” he said again. “I’m Albert. We had a Christmas party last
night and we had some fruit left over. Would you like it?”
I gratefully took the bag of fruit, and we chatted for a while, He was

98 April - June
HOW I CAME TO BHAGAVAN
originally German, he said, but had lived for many years in Australia
and now had Australian nationality. He now lived in a cave on the Hill
below Skandashram. He came up here to meditate every morning.
“Why don’t you join us?” he added. After which he led me into
the Ashram, through a small door to the right of the entrance, across
a small courtyard, and up a flight of steps to a beautiful platform
shaded by the overhanging branches of a spreading mango tree. And
there they all were.
We sang a bhajan: Sri Ram, Jai Ram, Jai Jai Ram, Om. It was the
first time I had heard this mantra, and it seemed the sweetest sound
in the world. And then Hugo spoke to us.
He spoke with such conviction, such strength, such deep wisdom
– I listened as I had never listened before, and every word seemed to
resonate in me. He spoke of the inner path, and how to walk it; the
inner call, and how to answer it. He spoke of devotion to Bhagavan,
and surrender, and how to overcome the pesky little ME that tries to
interfere. He spoke so clearly: it was all so simple, so precious; he
was simply uncovering truths I felt to have known already, and with
so much passion, so much charisma, so much conviction – these
were not empty words, not just theory – he knew of what he spoke,
had experienced it all, and was simply passing it on to us. I was
mesmerised.
That very afternoon, possibly through Hugo’s intervention, I
was shown a little hut behind the Ramanashram premises, that was
available to rent. It was nothing more than two very tiny rooms; there
was no bathroom, no toilet, no running water, and no fence around
it. My toilet was literally the open fields beneath the Hill, along with
the sadhus and other single men. Probably not the best home for a
single young woman, looking back, but I didn’t think of that; it could
be mine, I was told, and I moved in immediately. It was known as
Brunton’s Cottage, as the writer Paul Brunton, who had drawn many
Westerners here with his book A Search in Secret India, had built it
and lived there for some time during Bhagavan’s lifetime. And yes,
it was as primitive as could be, but it had a charm to it, and a history,
and I felt privileged beyond belief. It was in Palakottu, a group of huts
where, in Bhagavan’s time sādhu had lived and done their sadhana.
Now I, too, was officially a sādhu.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
When I look back today, that was the beginning of perhaps the most
blessed year of my life. I loved the daily walk to Skandashram, the joy
and growing understanding I derived from Hugo’s talks, my growing
group of friends, the singing we sometimes all did, gathering in the
evening at the cottage shared by Jacqueline and Diane at the back of
Morvi Guest House, a cottage known as Ramana Shanti. Finally, for
the first time in my life, I was with people who truly understood what
made me tick, what I yearned for. It was a wonderful few months.
However, hard times were looming – that’s what they all said,
including Hugo. I had claimed I would stay here forever; they were all
bound for Europe at the end of the ‘season’, which ended in February.
“You will be all alone,” they said, “without friends, without
company, without activity. The hot season starts after February. It’s
brutal. Hardly anyone can stand it. But worst is the emptiness you’ll
be facing. No friends, no company, nothing to do. Day after day, just
to confront yourself. Your ego. After a while, all your vasanas come
up. That’s what happens in this place. You can’t imagine the power
of your deeply buried unresolved tendencies! They are ugly, and
ruthless, and you’ll run away from Arunachala. Better to go to a nice
soft place in India till next winter when we all return.”
But no, I insisted. I would stay, and face whatever came. As for
the heat: I am from a country six degrees north of the equator. I don’t
mind heat. It’s cold I can’t stand.
So, I bid them all goodbye, and prepared for a long, hot season
on my own.
By now I had had some practice in meditation and found it
actually came quite easily to me. After all, even as a child I had been
introspective, questing, wondering about thoughts and where they
came from and what lay behind them; my mind seemed to quite
naturally gravitate inwards, to silence. As for those dreaded vasanas
– I was eager to meet them, to encounter the very worst of myself,
all the shadows lurking beneath the surface of my identity; I felt that
they were a thick black wall I had to penetrate in order to truly find
my way on this wonderful journey of Self-discovery. I might be just
a beginner, but I was eager and ready to face any monsters that might
come my way.
And come they did. But I had my tools, and I had the Meditation

100 April - June


HOW I CAME TO BHAGAVAN
Hall, and Bhagavan sitting there, and my photos of him, and the
Hill – whose innate power I became more aware of from day to day.
I have always loved solitude, and things weren’t nearly as bad as my
friends had predicted.
And I wasn’t as alone as everyone said. I had met quite a few
of those old devotees myself. There was Swami Viswanathan, who
spoke little but whose doors seemed always open for people to come
and simply sit in silence. Roda McIver was a Parsi woman whom I
visited at least once a week, eager to hear her stories of Bhagavan.
And there was Mrs Osborne, a leading light for me, and her stories
were the most rivetting of all.
I also read; books had always been my primary guide; books had led
me to this path and would lead me on. I borrowed one book after the
other from the library. I read The Cloud of Unknowing, and The Way
of a Pilgrim. I read books on Sufism and, of course, Bhagavan’s Talks
and the Letters and the books of Mister Cohen and Major Chadwick
and all the other old devotees. With the right books I could never be
completely alone.
And once again, a special book fell into my hands. This one was
about a female saint who, I read, spent her time moving from place
to place in North India; who was highly revered, had even been here,
to Ramanasramam, and had declared that He is the Sun and we are
the stars.
There was a photo in that book, of an old woman whose eyes held
mine, pouring a love into my heart that melted me to my core. And
I knew: I had to see her.
I wrote to her Ashram headquarters in Varanasi and was told she
would be in Poona in May. I decided that I, too, would be in Poona
in May. Was I running away from Arunachala, as had been predicted?
Perhaps. But I was running towards a power which was at least as
great, a power that would dig up all those terrifying vasanas, only to
disarm them; a power that would accompany me for the rest of my life.
Her name was Anandamayi Ma. 

2020 101
D. Thiyagarajan
Maha Bhakta
Vijayam
The Advent of Namdev

Chapter One
Nabaji Siddha

Glory to Thee O Lord!


O Lord! Thou deigned to become
Messenger of peace for the Pandavas;
Emerging in cosmic form out of a dwarf,
Thou covered the whole world in one stride!
Though I seek pleasures like a cur,
And do not crave Thy love precious,
O causeless Ocean of mercy,
I take refuge in Thee!

Hymn to Sant Namdev


O Sant! You are not born of human conception,
Your heart never swerved from Hari’s feet;
You bewailed, wept and shed hot tears in torrents,
Until Panduranga accepted a morsel from your hands;
Out of pure love you gave away all your wealth,
To the delight of Sadhus and the needy!
By reviving a calf from the mouth of death,
You put to shame the sceptics and the Muslim emperor,
Rare Sant that you are, O Namdev!
I offer worship to your holy feet.

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Introduction
Our readers may be wondering why the stories of Sants from
Mahabhakta Vijayam, being published in the Mountain Path, are
not complete and some parts of the stories vary from the versions
popularly known in different parts of the country.
Firstly, we are not writing the complete story of the Mahatmas, but
only those portions which were read out in Bhagavan’s presence or
browsed by Bhagavan himself or those episodes which were quoted
by Bhagavan on different occasions. Most often, the readings or
references were from the Tamil version written by Sri Venkatadas,
under the title Mahabhakta Vijayam.
Secondly, many works have been composed on these Mahabhaktas,
the great devotees of the Lord, in different periods of time by various
authors like Nabhadas, Uddhavdas, Priyadas, Mahipati, Deepadev
and Venkatadas , belonging to different regions and writing in various
languages, such as Hindustani, Bhojpuri, Marathi and Tamil. These
authors themselves are great Sants of exalted devotion, supreme
Knowledge and great erudition and are revered highly. Among these
works, some contain only the life stories, some only a skeletal sketch
of the Sant’s life, dwelling more on his upadesa or teachings, while
some narrate both the stories and teachings in detail. Given this
background, there is bound to be some difference in their versions.
The following table has been made from information given in
Mahabhakta Vijayam:
Authors & Titles on Maha-Bhaktas
Author’s Nabhaji Uddhava Mahipati Deepadev Venkatadas
Name
Title of Bhaktasaram Bhaktamala Bhakta Deepa Maha
the Work Vijayam Ratnakaram Bhakta
Sant Vijayam
Vijayam
Lilamritam
Language Hindustani Gwalior Marathi Marathi Tamil
Type Life Stories Life Stories Life Stories Teachings Life
(condensed) & Teachings Stories &
Teachings
Coverage 790 Sants 700 Sants 1760 Sants ---- ----
104 April - June
THE ADVENT OF NAMDEV
Advent of Namdev
The great Siddhas who had risen above body-identification, conquered
death and taken their vital breath to Brahmarandra, completed their
morning oblations and daily practices and reached the abode of the
glorious Mahatma, Nabhaji. Prostrating at his holy feet, they uttered
the following prayer in humble tones, “O Mahatma! Please be gracious
and delight our hearts with the nectar of the life story of Sant Namdev
who is verily the incarnation of Sri Uddhava!”
Sant Nabhadas replied in a jubilant voice, “O eager noble souls! It
thrills my heart to hear your request. What better occupation can be
there for the mind than dwelling on such a sublime subject! The lips
that utter the tales of great Sants and the ears which partake of them
with such eagerness are blessed. Let me start the narration without
delay.” Thus proceeded Nabhaji on his noble task:
In Pandharpur, the abode of Lord Vittal, the holy city on the banks
of Chandrabhaga river and glorified in all quarters of the world, there
lived a tailor by the name of Damaseth. His forehead was adorned
with religious marks, and his mind, free of blemishes and worldly
desires, was filled with auspicious qualities. His heart was dyed in
the colour of devotion to God and his lips were ever whispering the
Name of the Lord. His mind, bearing no ill-will towards anyone and
overflowing with incomparable kindness, remained centred on the feet
of Lord Hari. He kept a close vigil on his mind, restraining it from
undesirable thoughts and anger. His wife Gunabai was no less virtuous
than him and always kept her senses under control. The couple lived
the ideal life of householders.
Damaseth had been blessed with wealth, honour and devout
relatives whose hearts were anchored in God-remembrance even in
their dreams. In the company of such harmonious and dedicated kin,
Damaseth would go around the streets singing the names of the Lord
with joy. Another practice which he cherished was to unfailingly carry
food to the temple of Vittal and to offer it to Him with great affection.
He did not fritter away the remaining time of the day on any other
occupation than the family tradition of being a tailor. However, there
was one sorrow gnawing at the couple’s hearts. Though Damaseth was
sixty years of age and Gunabai was fifty years old, they were without
any offspring. They grieved that their married life was barren, like
the cactus which bears no fruit.
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One night, the Lord in the form of a Brahmin appeared in the dream
of Gunabai and said, “O virtuous woman, you will beget a child in the
morning and become a mother!” Gunabai woke up immediately and
sat dazed with a sense of wonder at the content of her dream. Then,
waking up her husband she apprised him of her dream and asked
innocently, “O Swami, will I really become a mother in the morning
as assured by the Brahmin?”
On hearing this, Damaseth’s body shook with laughter and he said
in a teasing tone, “O gullible woman! My beloved partner! A woman
should bear a child in her womb for nine months. Even so, you are
old, past the child-bearing age. It will be strange if you conceive a
child at this age. It is your ardent desire for a child that has given rise
to a dream of this kind.”
Overcome by shame at his words, Gunabai fell silent. In accordance
with her daily practice of going to the temple in the morning, she
hurried to the Abode of Lord Panduranga and addressed Him earnestly,
“O Lord! I don’t know who appeared in my dream. Whoever he may
be, You must come to my rescue and bless me with a child, quench the
fire in my heart today.” She sang adorations to the Lord and mentally
placed her prayer along with her anguished heart at His lotus feet. Her
heart suddenly skipped with joy and she returned home in high spirits.
While Damaseth was on his way to Chandrabhaga river for his
morning bath, an old Brahmin accosted him and asked, “O Dama,
have you been blessed with a child today?”
Taken aback by his words, Dama thought, “This man must have
overheard our conversation about the dream. And he is ridiculing me
now for the inappropriate desire that is plaguing our minds even in
our old age. I am ashamed even to look at his face!”
As Damaseth tried to hurry away, the Brahmin caught hold of
his wrist and started talking loudly, “O devotee of Hari, didn’t you
hear me? I know you are old and deaf, and yet your desire for a child
hasn’t left you!”
These words humiliated poor Damaseth and made him angry. He
tried to prise his wrist away from his grip, retorting, “Why are you
making fun of me? Why should I harbour such a desire in my old age?
You are unnecessarily picking a quarrel with me. Mind your business.
Your unworthy behaviour doesn’t befit your age.”

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Without releasing Dama’s hand, the Brahmin said, “O Swami!
Devotee of the Lord! O cagey fellow! I have just visited your home.
Your wife has given birth to a child in her old age. Why does the fact
singe you and have you jumping wildly? Come home with me and
verify it for yourself and give me generous dakshina. Cherish the
child that you have begotten in your old age!”
Utterly mortified, Damaseth shot back furiously, “Why are you
blocking my way? Has anyone heard of such a ridiculous thing as
an old woman giving birth to a baby? O Brahmin! We hardly know
each other, yet you are picking a quarrel with me in the morning and
keep on insulting me?”
Clapping both his hands and laughing uproariously, the Brahmin
said, “Fie upon you! Don’t you recognize me?” He continued in a
strident voice, “You come to me daily and stand before me humbly
with both palms joined, yet you deny your long friendship with me
in public. You are not only deaf, but also blind. Though you are old,
deaf and blind, your sense desires have not aged or left you. You are
still nursing the desire to sire a child! How ridiculous!”
Damaseth was utterly stupefied. Then, gathering his wits, he said,
“Swami! Please be calm. You are a complete stranger to me, yet you
talk of my coming to you daily with folded hands! Why do you call
me all these names without any provocation? Even if my wife should
beget a child at this age, what is it to you? Why should you collect
the whole town and disgrace me in front of others? Ah.., I now see
your true colours! You are a cunning fellow bent on wresting some
alms from me. Since you are ashamed of begging for your alms, you
have resorted to the tactic of embarrassing me. Please give up such
meanness and go home!”
“O Dama! You are telling me to get lost.” The Brahmin continued
sarcastically, “Oh…! So it is your petty alms which are filling my
belly daily! Your son also will continue this practice and appease my
hunger daily!” Then assuming a conciliatory tone, he said, “By the
way, what name have you thought of for your child? At the naming
ceremony, don’t you forget me! Don’t invite some other Brahmin by
mistake and earn his curse by your disrespectful behaviour.” Now,
resuming his belligerent tone, the Brahmin concluded with a strange
light shining in his eyes, “Watch out! Don’t get into a scuffle with

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me. There is no point in regretting it later. Beware of incurring the
displeasure of a Brahmin.”
Damaseth was very disturbed and puzzled by the unpredictable
behaviour of this Brahmin. He wondered, “Why does this Brahmin
behave so awfully towards me in the early hours? Isn’t it true that a
Brahmin turned into a Brahma-Rakhshas (a ghost due to some sin), is
the most terrible to contend with? He must surely be such an entity.”
Damaseth’s humiliation smote him and roused great ire in him. He
started abusing the Brahmin, calling him all kinds of names.
This set the pace for a new bout of verbal assaults leading to
a physical scuffle. The Brahmin lunged at his adversary. Holding
Damaseth tightly, he pulled at his tuft of hair and snapped at him,
“You lowly fellow who makes out your living by dipping neck-deep
into piles of torn, old clothes and stitching them from dawn to dusk!
Brainless creature! Instead of worshipping a Brahmin and humbly
offering rewards to one who has brought you very auspicious tidings,
you are abusing me and preaching me philosophy about being peaceful
and, in the same breath, hurling abuses at me! You pretend to take this
favourable event as a disgrace, while nursing this secret longing in
your heart! Can you swear on Chandrabhaga that you never secretly
desired a child? You pretentious, desire-ridden creature!” The Brahmin
pulled at Dama’s beard and tuft alternately with even greater force.
Dama was certainly stunned by the antics of this Brahmin and
winced at the pain inflicted on his tuft and beard. “O what an
unfortunate beginning of the day for me! How cruelly he is exposing
me in front of all! If I could get him alone I would not hesitate to even
kill him! Alas! It is much past dawn. I have to complete my morning
bath and rituals. It will soon be time to take the naivedyam (the offering
of food) to the Lord. How am I to get away from this fellow?”
Somehow he freed one of his hands for a moment from his
assailant’s clutches and broke a thick branch off a nearby tree with
the intention of hailing blows on him. However, he was no match
for the swiftness of his opponent. Even before the stick touched him,
the Brahmin started howling, “O gentle folks! Have you seen how
this old man has clubbed me with his stick?” With these words, he
launched himself at Dama fiercely, dealing him blows and kicks which
descended on him like thunderbolts.

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Damaseth fell to the ground and hot tears of pain and humiliation
stung his eyes. He then managed to sit up and, applying all his
energy, pounced on the Brahmin, pushing him down, pinned him to
the ground and hitting him with his fist. He was amazed at his new
strength. But soon the crafty old man overcame his opponent. He
sprang up with fury and rushed at Dama. Extremely frightened and
thinking, “O goodness! He is no Brahmin! He is verily the Lord of
Death himself!” Dama fled in terror. However, giving him a chase,
the Brahmin caught hold of him and pushed him on to the sandy
bank of the river. With a new strength born of desperation, Dama
rolled off into the flowing water as a last resort, to escape from the
battering. He saw the man running along the bank to try to catch
him again. Dama decided that he would rather be swallowed by the
current of the water than be caught by such an enemy. He floated
along for a mile or so until he felt safe from the Brahmin’s sight
and then hurriedly began his morning bath.
Meanwhile, the Lord who, in the form of the Brahmin, had sported
with Damaseth, had decided to fulfil the ardent desire of His devotee
for a child. He summoned Uddhava, His great devotee, who reached
the Lord in a trice from Sri Vaikuntam, extolling His glory. The Lord
opened His lotus-like mouth and addressed Uddhava, “O My dear
one, do you see that old man afar, taking a dip in the river? He is none
other than My dear devotee, Damaseth. He longs for a child and I
want you to reach the womb of his aged wife and take birth as their
son and spread My glory in this world to nurture devotion for Me and
My Name in the hearts of all people.”
Uddhava, in consternation, trembled like a leaf in the storm. He
sobbed and said, “O Lord! Even after being blessed with Your full
grace, will You throw me in the bottomless hell of Samsara, the endless
cycle of birth and death? Is there any hell worse than staying in the
womb which signifies lust and desire and infested with blood and
foul odour? The miserable condition of the foetus, being confined in a
narrow space and hanging upside down in the womb and undergoing
deathly pangs at the time of birth, are indescribable. Lord Yama’s
punishment is most terrifying when he throws us back in the life
of delusion. Isn’t the Lord aware of these things? Is there any place
holier than Your eternal realm? After bestowing the blessed state of

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liberation, how can You wrest it back? You have shattered my faith
in You! The worldly life is verily an endless nightmare.”
Beholding Uddhava’s agony, the compassionate Lord enveloped
him in His loving embrace and said in a soothing voice, “O beloved
one, only devotees like you can spread the true glory of My name.
I will be with you always, as your friend and servant.” Sensing
Uddhava’s bewilderment and his reluctance to enter a human womb,
the Lord modified His suggestion and made it acceptable to him with
His nectarine appeal.
Comforted and cajoled thus, Uddhava took the form of an infant
and entered into a big shell which was drifting on the waters of
Chandrabhaga. The cries which the infant set off, mingling with the
gurgling of the water, made a nice music, as the shell floated near
Damaseth who was taking his series of dips in the river. Though
startled at first, reaching forward, he took hold of the shell and
lifted the infant out of it, wondering as to how the baby came to be
floating in the river. However, holding it close, he reached the shore.
Consoling the baby in a crooning voice, he started walking towards
his home. Lo! The quarrelsome Brahmin made his appearance out of
nowhere and continued his diatribe again, “You hypocrite, how did
you come by that child after all your arguments denying any desire
for a child? Where are you running now? From where did you get so
much strength to run so fast? Is it for fulfillment of this wish that you
circumambulated the temple daily? And not out of devotion! What are
you going to gain by having a child? Are you going to be liberated
from the cycle of Samsara?”
Blocking his way, the Brahmin continued, “O tailor! Whose child
is this? What kind of game is this child going to play in your life,
I wonder! Let me have a look at the baby!” So saying, he tried to
wrest the baby from Damaseth. Dama, by the play of God’s illusory
power, was suddenly overwhelmed by affection and attachment, and
became furious with the old man. However, knowing his prowess, he
tried to dodge him saying, “O Swami, you belong to the high caste.
I prostrate to you. Don’t come running behind me. You will become
tired. Don’t try to badger me again.”
Alas! there was no escape. The old man, snatching the baby
away from Damaseth with lightning speed, asked, “Dama, tell me

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MOUNTAIN PATH
from where did you get this child? You are mere straw before me.
Therefore, don’t try to challenge me. Is it for such a trifle, of getting
a child, that you offered delicacies to the Lord in the temple? With
such a gross mind, You will never learn the subtle knowledge of
liberation! What a rank idiot you are to gratify the Lord with your
petty offerings for a petty thing! I am not going to spare you.” With
these words, he started hailing blows on poor Dama right and left,
while clutching the baby. Dama fell at the Brahmin’s feet, begging
for mercy from his blows. Though he was fuming with rage inside,
he pleaded pathetically, “Please give up this violence on me. Come to
my house and I will please you with many kinds of gifts.” Unheeding
these placatory words, the Brahmin remained belligerent and started
to claim the child for himself.
Dama was utterly baffled. He made a desperate prayer to his
favourite Lord Panduranga, “O dear God! Refuge of the helpless!
Consort of Rukmini! You are beyond the Vedas, O playful One! Did I
ever approach you for a fortune, like what You bestowed on Sudama,
or seek the immortal status of Vibheeshana? Did I ever pray like king
Rukmangadha for attaining Your abode for all citizens? Or did I pray
for the state of the pole star, like Dhruva? Or did I covet Your divine
and delightful company, like Arjuna, who chose You in lieu of Your
vast army? Or did I aspire for the privilege of hosting You, like Vidura,
or for removal of the sin of Brahmahatya, like Lord Shiva?
“O Lord of Lords! Did I seek protection for my lineage like
Prahlada for his clan of Asuras; or ask you for a handsome appearance
like Narada? Or did I ever seek Your blessings to defeat the Asuras
and protect Indra and the Devas, or for a long life like Muchukunda,
or for sensual pleasures like Kubja, or for You to become a babe in
my arms like Anusuya? Or did I cry out like Draupadi for endless
cloth, or scream like Gajendra to be saved from a crocodile? Or did I
seek to enslave You for a few fistfuls of parched rice, like Kuchela?
O merciful Lord! While You lifted up Sabari, the tribal woman who
gave you wild berries after tasting them, won’t You bestow such equal-
vision on me also, though I am undeserving? O Paripoorna, Ultimate
Perfection, Dispeller of all afflictions, O thousand-named Lord …”
As Dama was glorifying Him, the heart of the Lord (in the form of
the Brahmin) became tender with compassion and filled with the bliss

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of love for His devotee. He stood still for a few moments like a painted
picture. Seeing the Brahmin motionless, Dama immediately seized the
baby from his arms and made a dash for his home. Recovering Himself
from His trance-like state, the Lord, disguised as the Brahmin, gave
chase again and caught up with Dama at the entrance of his house.
Seizing the baby from Dama with a quick movement, he started a
volley of abuses, “You are trying to steal my child which I got after
many austerities. You decrepit pair! Death is about to claim you. Why
do you need a small baby at this stage of your life?”
At this commotion, Gunabai came out of the house and, grasping
the situation, spoke to the Brahmin, “O holy Brahmin! The Lord
revealed to me in a dream the coming of this child! Why are you
being audacious and hanging on to a baby which is rightfully ours?”
She ran forward and tried to take the baby from the man.
“O frail woman! Why do you aspire for a baby, when your limbs
are so old and wobbly that you won’t even be able to hold the baby
in your arms?”
Gunabai retorted vehemently, “O vile man, you who gave up all
sense of shame, you who beg for alms to fill your stomach, how dare
you abuse us!”
While they were exchanging these hot words, the child started
crying. Gunabai became agitated and cried out, “Alas! The little
baby is crying for milk. Its body is shivering in the cold. Why are
you troubling us and the baby? Don’t earn the curses of a mother!”
This street fight drew the attention of passersby, but on facing
the audacious and quarrelsome old Brahmin, they withdrew from
the scene. The Lord, knowing that the bad karmas of Gunabai were
quickly getting exhausted, dealt a few more blows to Damaseth and a
few more vile abuses to his wife, in order to clear their karmic account.
Then He started running towards the temple with the child in His
arms. On the way, He squeezed the child, who was the incarnation
of Uddhava, in His arms, to rid him of his earlier memories of
Brahminhood. Then, leaving the child on the ground, He disappeared
into the temple.
Gunabai rushed forward and picked up the child. As soon as she
held the infant close to her heart, her breasts started secreting milk.
Overwhelmed by parental love for the baby, the couple felt that he

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was verily born to them and not just discovered in the river. Bringing
the child home, they gave him an auspicious bath in water mixed
with propitious ritual offerings and decorated him with silk cloth
and jewels. They rejoiced at the generous and handsome fortune that
had been bestowed on them by the All-Merciful Lord and celebrated
the event by inviting all their relatives for a grand feast. Damaseth
gave gifts to all his guests with a generous heart, honoured all the
Brahmins and glorified the Lord again and again. They named the
child Namdev and fondled him. Forgetting their old age and their
frailties , Damaseth and Gunabai started living with great enthusiasm,
joyously doting on their child.” 

Ode
Upahar

I see Beloved, standing deep within;


my joy, my founding grace,
sowing the patient heart with seeds of light.

Beloved walks, anonymous as space,


through all the gates of spirit;
great stillness falls. I am breathed in and out.

I hear Beloved, at the bubbling spring.


striking an inmost chord,
singing the soul alive in measured tones.

Beloved fills the world, there is no other;


self of all self, my rose,
my absolute. All is forever well.

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Sonasaila Malai

Song Garland to the Red Mountain

Sivaprakasa Swamigal
Translated by Robert Butler

My mind, trusting [in the truth]


of the Letters Five,1
praised by all those Agamas
compiled [by the wise],
of the Lord of Death I’ll have no fear
as astride a sturdy buffalo he appears,
unlike those who,
even with a weapon in their hand,
trembling before their enemy stand.

1
The Five Letters refers to the five syllable mantra śi-vā-ya-na-ma; śi represents
śivam; vā represents his energy of grace – aruḷ śakti; ya represents the jīva; na
represents māyā or tirōtam, the energetic whirl of impurity in itself, and ma
represents āṇavam, that impurity as operating within the jīva. See the note to verse
15 in the first article in this series.

Robert Butler devotes his time to the translation of Tamil classical and spiritual
texts. He has published a grammatical commentary on Uḷḷadu Nāṟpadu. A
translation of the biography of Māṇikkavācakar is now available at the ashram
bookshop. These are available for online preview, purchase or download at
the following link: http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=1212666.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord,
where stout-trunked elephants
trumpet loud, as peacocks
with long and arching tails
wake from sleep, high in the tops
of venkai trees with scented blossoms
and fill the air with [plaintive] wails. (82)

This [foul] body I did not loathe,


nor lovingly desired
with holy ash to smear it whole;
the immaculate, holy Letters Five
I did not cherish in my mind.
As I wander thus in confusion lost
what fate fierce Death holds for me
I, a hapless wretch, know not.

You who did yourself conceal


as the Earth’s Consumer2
languished, unable to reveal
the all-pervading ankleted feet
that by the adoring Patanjali3
in [Tillai’s golden] Hall were seen,
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (83)

Might it be an easy task


to guide my mind
2
maṇ uṇi – the Consumer of the World is a reference to Kalki, the 10th avatar of
Viṣṇu, whose role is to appear mounted on a white horse and wielding a drawn
sword to destroy the world at the end of the current kali yuga in preparation for
the start of a new satya yuga.
3
aravam – snake, serpent refers to Patañjali, ‘A saint, author of the yōga sutras,
Mahābhāṣya and a treatise on medicine in Sanskrit, considered an incarnation of
Adiśeṣa,’ (Tam. Lex.). A number of stories tell of Patañjali’s desire to witness Śiva’s
cosmic dance in the Golden Hall of Chidambaram and of how his wish came to be
granted. The point here again is that Sōṇasailaṉ will remain inaccessible even to
the gods if they are devoid of devotion and driven by ego but will make himself
easily accessible to true devotees, however humble.

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SONASAILA MALAI
on liberation’s path
that lies through comely peaks
of maidens’ ample breasts,
across the ocean
of their wanton eyes
and through the black night
of their tresses?
Mountains there are
Where at dawn and sunset
The ruddy sun may take its rest.4
This you know full well,
so in the fierce heat
you tower high
to give the midday sun
a place to dwell,
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (84)

Prizing beads of rudrasksha


as the only jewels true,
smearing my body
with the holy ashes white,
drawing upon my brow
the three-barred Saiva sign,5
grant in grace that I
may perform puja to you.

Above your lofty head


where the Kartikai beacon
shines out like a lotus bright,
Ganga’s chilly waves are spread
4
The reference is to the udayagiri and the attagiri, the mountains in the east and
west behind which the sun is supposed to rise and set. The eastern mountain is
mentioned previously in v. 4: udaya taṉi malai – the matchless Eastern Mount.
5
puṇḍara kuṟi or simply puṇḍaram are lines or marks on the forehead, worn by
religious devotees. That worn by Saivas consists of three horizontal lines and is
known as tiri puṇḍaram and that worn by Vaishnavites, consisting of vertical lines
in various configurations, is called ūrttuva puṇḍaram.

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MOUNTAIN PATH
like a canopy all pearly white,
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (85)

When will I be free from those


whose tongues do not
the Letters Five speak out
but other [lesser] mantras [spout],
from ignorant fools
who to base and mortal men
their plaudits raise
in all the forms of song,6
though you are there
for them to praise?

You who golden Meru chose


to be your flawless bow,7
and the Dark One who of yore
raised up a mountain8
his herd of cows to shield
to be your arrow9 so decreed,
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (86)

6
pāviṉam – classes of verse or more precisely types of verse and their derived sub-
classes. The four classes of verse are veṇpā, āciriya-p-pā, kaḷi-p-pā and vañci-p-pā,
from each of which are derived three types of poem which partake of some of its
properties; these are tuṟai, tāḻicai and viruttam. Thus we have veṇṭuṟai, veṇṭāḻicai,
veḷiviruttam and so forth.
7
See v. 19 and note in the first article in this series.
8
This is a reference to the famous incident in the life of Kṛṣṇa, when, during a
dispute with Indra, he lifted up the Govardhana Mountain to protect the animals
and people of the region from the devastating flood that Indra poured down. Kṛṣṇa
is referred to in the verse simply as kuṉṟu – mountain. It has been translated in the
verse as the Dark One to avoid the repetition of the word mountain.
9
Kṛṣṇa is an avatar of Viṣṇu, whom Śiva employed as his arrow when destroying
the aerial cities of the asuras. On the same occasion he used Mount Meru as his
bow, an incident referred to in v. 19, mentioned in the previous note.

118 April - June


SONASAILA MALAI
Daylight and dark night,
sun, moon, noble soul,
five elements perceived9 –
when shall my eyes
exult in the sight
of your form [supreme]
transcending all of these?

Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord,


whom flowery tanks surround,
where beetles that amidst petals
of the lotus blossom sojourn,
rise up like clouds of smoke
from bright flames of kungiliyam
that in shining salvers burns.10 (87)

May you a single word vouchsafe,


so that I, poor wretch, may
of pure awareness’ form partake,
wherein the fivefold elements,
sense organs with their senses,
and the faculties of mind
all subside and go,
and so entirely slay my foes,
these powerful deeds [that bind].11
9
The verse begins by listing the aṭṭa mūrtti, Sanskrit aṣṭa mūrti, the eight forms
of Śiva. Their Tamil names are as follows: būmi – earth, nīr – water, tēyu – fire,
vāyu – air, ākāyam – ether, iyamāṉaṉ – the sacrificer, the soul, sūriyaṉ – the sun,
candiraṉ – the moon. iyamāṉaṉ or iyamāṉ Skt. yajamāna means sacrificer from the
root yaj – to sacrifice. In Tamil it has the secondary meaning of life, soul. Śiva is
the source of all created things but, as the verse points out, transcends all of them.
10
The lotus pads on the tanks of the mountain are compared to bright salvers set on
stands, which are the stalks of the lotuses. The red flowers are compared to the
flames of burning incense and the rising clouds of winged insects that feed on their
nectar, to the smoke rising from it. kuṅgiliyam is a resinous gum of which there
are a number of varieties, presumably used as, or as a base for, incense.
11
The ego self, the jīva, arises through the poṟi – sense organs, pulaṉ – senses and
the kāraṇaṅgaḷ – the mental faculties and the organs of action engaging with the

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You shine out
like a comely tethering post
where lady Uma daily ties up both
The elephants of her ample breasts
And the lion of her midriff svelte,
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (88)

Like rubies set in finest gold


your holy feet,
unto the virtuous go
their holy grace to bestow.
What a wonder then
that these bright jewels
should thus be set
within the iron of my soul!

Unlike other mountains


that oceans of the world surround,

(cont.) world of the būtam – the five elements to create the illusion of an individual
who is the doer, the one responsible for his own actions, in an apparently external
world that is other than himself. The result is that the jīva becomes trapped in
the cycle of cause and effect created by those aru viṉai – deeds which are hard
to escape. Only the grace of the Lord, usually mediated by an enlightened guru
like Sri Ramana, can end this vicious cycle of cause and effect and consequent
suffering, often by oru moḻi – a single or unique word, a simple statement, such
as cummā iru – Just be! The moment this bogus individual turns his attention
inward to dwell purely on the simple sense of being, the house of cards, which is
the illusive dichotomy of jīva and world, dissolves like a dream and he comes to
dwell in the attribute-free nature which is aṟivu – pure consciousness. aṟivu eṉa
= aṟivu āgumpaḍi – so that [I] become pure / mere consciousness (jñāna). Thus
realisation is simply the state of pure being, unobscured by the accretions imposed
by the mind and senses:
The consciousness of the Self is the normal state; our present entanglement
is the abnormal state. We imagine that we have to develop towards a perfect
state – when we are in it now but have covered it with accretions of external
things and thoughts. People talk of attaining the super-consciousness. This is
wrong. This Self is our normal consciousness; we imagine we have to develop
and attain it but we are in it all the time, only our attention is diverted away
from it to intellect and objects. Conscious Immortality, p.168.

120 April - June


SONASAILA MALAI
you within yourself, men proclaim,
hold the ocean vast of grace
that Himavat, the mountain gave.12
Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (89)

Those feet so hard to know


for those of love for you bereft;
those feet that from tall Mal’s heart
have never [for an instant] left;
those feet that rise and fall
in blazing light of Tillai’s Hall,
may they dance their dance
within my thoughts.

Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord,


where hives built by honey bees
that burrow into blooms
in lofty crowns of tall bamboo
are like the fans of palm tree leaves13
borne by gatherings of devotees. (90)

Everywhere grow grasses


green and fresh
and clear waters flow,
and in all those places,
when you’re adored,
you come in love
your presence to afford.
Yet still does mankind

12
After the self-immolation of his first consort, Satī, Śiva took as his second wife
Parvatī, who was the daughter of Himavat, the personification of the Himalaya
mountain range.
13
āla vattam is a ‘Circular fan made of cloths, fragrant roots or palm leaves, carried
in procession before idols and great persons.’ (Tam. Lex.) The poet imagines that
the hives attached to the tops of long bamboo stems resemble circular fans on the
ends of their long hafts.

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vainly toil
[dying and] being [re]born.

The term ‘Mountain of Compassion’


is commonly but a metaphor,
[by devotees] employed,
but you this definition to avoid
as an actual ‘Mountain of Compassion’14
[on earth] abiding, skyward soar.
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (91)

Grant in grace to me
that with pure jnana’s eye
I may truly see,
so that I may meet and remain
in the company of those
who do false birth disdain,
and freed from gross desire
have for your holy form
true love attained.

You who rising high,


tower up like a column tall,
so that other mountains
over whose lofty peaks
the skyborne moon doth crawl
seem nothing more
than tiny wisps of straw,
Lord Sonasailan! Kailash’s Lord! (92)

14
metaphor translates the words aṉ-moḻi-t-togai literally a compound with a missing
word. As for example poṟṟoṭi (poṉ toṭi) – [a lady with] golden bangles. Thus taken
as such a compound karuṇai malai would refer to the Lord as [One who possesses
or is like] a mountain of compassion. However taken as a simple vēṟṟumai-t-togai
compound with omission of the case ending, the meaning is simply mountain of
compassion, meaning it is the mountain itself which possesses the compassion,
without the epithet being transferred to Lord Śiva.

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BELIEF AND BEYOND Adventures in
Consciousness from the Upanishads to Modern
Times by Mukunda Rao. Pub: HarperCollins
Publishers India, A-75, Sector 57, Noida, U.P.
201301. 2019. Pp. xviii+300. Rs. 499. ISBN 978-
93-5302-8473. www.harpercollins.co.in
It is reassuring that Mukunda Rao (Rao), the author
of this very enjoyable and instructive work on Indian
spirituality with emphasis on jñana or enlightenment,
who is an ardent admirer and able interpreter of the teaching or non-
teaching of the maveric philosopher U.G. Krishnamurti (UG), deemed
the most subversive among the thinkers or non-thinkers of our times
negating everything that is and is not, past and present, continues to
swear by UG (who swore at least at quite a few teachers), with all his
rich gifts intact: his keen intellect, his excellent command of English
which UG also had, his love of books, his vast reading of philosophical
and similar books, authorship of number of highly readable books of
different genres, his never-diminishing admiration for and excellent
insights on the lives and teachings of Indian saints and sages and
ancient and spiritual texts and, above all, a steady home and hearth.
UG can be non-subversive too!
Rao begins at the beginning with the beginning of creation
speculated on in the Hymn of Creation in Rg Veda giving us a 'taste
of the impenetrable mystery of life'. Rao concludes his rapid but
attentive survey of the Vedas and Upanishads remarking that they are
rather profound beginnings than final answers. This may be accepted
with the caveat that the four Mahavakyas have a ring of finality and
timelessness in them.
Rao, who had himself had his share and kind of a death experience
and has been a life-long experience seeker of Truth and has had the
benefit of association with UG, a no-holds-barred fighter against
illusion, has given a very fair and perceptive synopsis of the lives and
teachings of saints and sages of India from the Buddha, Nagarjuna,
Gaudapada, Adi Sankara, Kabir and others to J. Krishnamurti,
Ramana Maharshi and UG. He refers to the spiritual maverics like

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MOUNTAIN PATH
Kabir, Laleshwari of Kashmir, Akka Mahadevi and Allama Prabhu of
Karnataka and to the physical mutations gone through by The Mother
of Sri Aurobindo Ashram leading her to proclaim that salvation is
purely physical. He knows that J. Krishnamurti and Ramana Maharshi
were original and the striking similarities between Ma Anandamoyee
and Sri Ramana, especially in their freedom from body and mind.
Rao naturally reserves the largest space for UG who to him is
incomparable. This attitude is understandable and true of all disciples,
followers, adherents, associates, admirers and so on because the
guru, teacher, the icon, the mentor is not a person but pure non-
dual consciousness. There is only one Guru. The natural state or
Sahaja sthiti could have been reached by mutations in the body or
by transcending the pancha kosas, the five sheaths enshrouding the
Self, one’s own true identity. Ramana who was uninterruptedly in the
non-dual natural state till the end for fifty-four years after his death
experience at Madurai did not hold that kind of death experience as
the singular litmus for Self-realisation. By practicing the Self-enquiry
taught by him, people had got it instantly, in a matter of days, weeks
or months or over the years and got his approval. Ramana never
referred to anyone as unrealized for to him there is nothing outside
Pure Consciousness. In the Heart, it’s Seat, he said everything, the
universe and all, comes to an end for the dream is over. Body is just
a thought which is a shadow.
This book is another lovely feather in Rao’s scholarly cap. —
Jijñasu
THE NAVEL OF THE EARTH The History and
Significance of Bodh Gaya. Y. S. Dhammika.
Buddhist Publication Society Inc. PO Box 61, 54
Sangharaja Mawatha, Kandy, Sri Lanka. Revised
edition 2018. pp.138, Price not stated. ISBN: 978-
955-2-033-7 Email: [email protected] www.bps.lk
The most important Buddhist shrine in the world is
at Bodh Gaya, Bihar, India. It is here that the Buddha
received enlightenment over 2,000 years ago, the
result of which was the creation of a new ‘religion’ estimated to be
practiced by some nearly 500 million people globally. The Buddha
advised his disciples that there are four places which would engender

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faith if visited. They were Lumbini, Bodh Gaya, Sarnath and Kusinara.
These are his place of birth, the place where he sat on the ‘diamond
throne’ and attained enlightenment, the first place where he preached
the four noble truths and the place where he left his body and this
world. The Vajirasana (diamond throne)at Bodh Gaya is also called
the ‘Victory Throne of all The Buddhas’ or the ‘Navel of the Earth’.
It is believed that when the universe is dissolved it will be the last
place to be destroyed and that it will be the first place to form when
the universe begins to re-emerge. Through the centuries the site was
widely known as Mahabodhi or ‘great enlightenment’. Pilgrims in
ancient times came from as far away as Samarkand, Bactria, Tibet Sri
Lanka, Sumatra and Java, Burma, Vietnam, China and Korea. The only
known early Japanese pilgrim died somewhere in Malaya in 866 AD.
The author gives a glimpse of the considerable hazards the
pilgrims faced on their journey and the ways in which they survived
the vicissitudes of pirates, bandits, hunger and the, at times, harsh
climate and landscape. Many died in the attempt.
After delivering his sermon at Sarnath, the Buddha did return once
more to Bodh Gaya but after that he never again saw the place. Bodh
Gaya was relatively unimportant until the advent of Asoka Maurya
(304 BCE- 232 BCE), emperor of all of India. He made a pilgrimage
there, built a temple and had a branch of the Bodhi Tree sent to Sri
Lanka to be planted there. In the early fourth century a monastery was
established at Bodh Gaya which had a continuous and strong influence
for close to a thousand years. In one text is it mentioned that in 104
BCE a monk led a delegation from the Bodhimanda monastery to Sri
Lanka to participate in the opening ceremony of the great stupa at
Anuradhapura. When the present day Mahabodhi Temple was built
is open to debate and the date ranges from the second to the tenth
century CE. It contained a magnificent statue of the Buddha. After
the thirteenth century Bodh Gaya was abandoned, and its temples and
shrines fell into ruin. In 1877 a mission from the Burmese king came
to restore the Mahabodhi Temple. Towards the end of the nineteenth
century pilgrims once again returned to Bodh Gaya. Today it is the
hub of a massive pilgrimage network.
For those interested in Buddhism or those who are Buddhists, this
is a wonderfully informative book, written in a clear, pleasing style
that carries its scholarship lightly. — T. V. Ramamurthy

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140th Jayanti Celebration
On Saturday, 11th January, devotees gathered at Bhagavan’s Shrine to
celebrate Bhagavan’s 140th Jayanti. The day began with Mārghazhi
pūjā followed by Tamil pārāyana, kalasa abhishekam and Jayanti
pūjā. This year’s decorations were extensive as devotees spent the
night before decorating the Samadhi Hall. Various music programmes
took place on Jayanti night and the night preceding.
Sri Muruganar
It is rare in the history of Tamil literature that some 25,000 verses to
the Guru composed were composed by one poet. The entire corpus was
recited for the first time from 21st-30th January at Sri Muruganar’s
Samadhi Shrine in the Ashram compound. The programme was
led by Sri Vilvam Vasudeva Sarma of Mylapore and organised by
Choolaimedu Ramanan. There were nine hours of recitation from 7-11
am and 3-8 pm each day.
Sivaratri
Sivaratri this year was on the 21st February. Lord Siva has stated that
“The 14th night of the new moon, in the dark fortnight during the
month of Phalguni, is my most favourite day. It is known as Sivaratri.”
Devotees stayed awake all night. It is said that even unintentional
casual worship of Siva on this day bears immense fruit. At the Ashram
the shrines were open all night and six kaala pujas were performed.
During the night many including people from outside Tiruvannamalai
did giripradakshina on this auspicious occasion.
Obituaries
Marleen Boers left this world on the 19th December 2019 two
weeks after she had decided that her physically ailing body could no
longer sustain her one-pointed sadhana. She was born in Utrecht The
Netherlands, on 10th October 1931. She first learned of Bhagavan
through a book her mother had, Heinrich Zimmer’s The Way to the Self.
This together with an unusual spiritual experience at the time paved
the way for her to come to India and ultimately, to Tiruvannamalai.
See her article in the July 2008 Mountain Path.
When she subsequently came across Arthur Osborne’s books on
Bhagavan, she knew Bhagavan was her guru. She made her first

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trip to the Ashram in November 1968 while a member of the Dutch
diplomatic corps at Washington DC and came a second time in
December 1970 while at the Dutch Consulate in Karachi where she
was deliberately posted. In 1972, with the help of Lucia Osborne,
Marleen took steps to purchase a small piece
of land near the Ashram. Bhagavan’s grace
aided her in fulfilling her dream to settle near
Sri Ramanasramam. Marleen was transferred
to the Dutch Consulate in Bombay in 1974.
While in Bombay, she met another
Ramana devotee, Maurice Frydman, who
took her to see Nisargadatta Maharaj. Maharaj
asked her, “Who is your guru?”, at which she
pointed to Bhagavan’s picture hanging just
behind him. Maharaj nodded approvingly.
During her four years stationed in Mumbai, she also had the darshan
of Ma Anandamayi and Mother Krishnabai.
Marleen resigned her job in December 1978 and came to live
permanently in Tiruvannamalai. Through all the vicissitudes she
suffered from a Russell’s viper snake bite, to cancer to irritable bowel
syndrome, arthritis and osteoporosis, she bravely faced all difficulties
with a smile. Her spirit was indominatable. Being a staunch ‘naturalist’
she activily supported wild life preservation. At her deeply moving
cremation one could see how many were inspired by her friendship
and example.
Smt Nagu passed away peacefully on 24th
January 2020 in Mumbai and was cremated next
day. She was the granddaughter of Griddalur
Sambasiva Rao, an advocate from Nellore, who
was one of the main persons instrumental in
getting the WILL made and registered. In fact,
he had the rare privilege of signing the WILL as
Ramana Maharshi. During Bhagavan’s time and,
more so, after he was of great help in stabilising
Ashram management. He was blessed with a granddaughter Nagu
through his only son. Nagu has been a regular visitor to Ashram from
childhood. She and her late husband Sriramulu took keen interest in
conducting Ramana Satsang in western suburbs of Mumbai. On the

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cremation day, the ashram lit Moksha Deepam at Bhagavan’s shrine
in the evening. She is survived by a son and 3 daughters.
Sri V. S. Srinivasan hailed from Valadi, a small village in Lalgudi
Taluk, Tiruchirapalli District. Having lost his parents during his
school days, he was reared by his elder brother, a
secondary school teacher. After completing SSLC
under the guidance of his brother, Srinivasan
got married and took employment in Binny Co.
Subsequently, he went to Kolkata for work and
remained there for some years. His service took
him later to Andhra Pradesh and Bangalore.
Finally, some 30 years back he took refuge in
Sri Ramanasramam and remained for about 17
years where he found peace of mind, working as
one of the Ashram accountants. During his retirement he has been
living with his sons in Chennai. Born 10th May 1924, V. S. Srinivasan
turned 96 last year. Soft-spoken, honest and interested only in leading
a simple life with noble intentions, Srinivasan breathed his last on
pradosham evening, Monday 23rd December 2019 after listening to
Śrī Aruṇācala Akṣaramaṇamālai recited by family members at his
bedside. He is survived by a daughter and three sons.
Sri V.V. Ramana Rao was an ardent devotee of Bhagavan and a
popular speaker at Ramana Kendram, Hyderabad. His speeches on
Bhagavan’s life and teachings were deeply
insightful and inspiring.
Sitting in the first floor terrace of his home
in Machilipatnam, Andhra Pradesh, as a 7 year
old boy, on the night of April 14th, 1950, he
was blessed to see the meteor and its splendour
that appeared during Bhagavan’s Mahanirvana.
Later Bhagavan appeared in his dream and
guided him in his career – truly a blessed soul.
He was regularly visiting Ramanasramam
from last 4 decades. He merged in Arunachala during early hours
of 18th, January, 2020 at Hyderabad. He is survived by his wife and
two sons. He was 77. 

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