Chapter 12. Grothendieck's Family I
Chapter 12. Grothendieck's Family I
Grothendieck's Family I
In this biographical account, we have until now almost completely left out any
mention of the lives of Grothendieck's wife and children. Although discretion is
appropriate, this essential part of his life must be taken into account. Let us now
catch up on the most important elements, giving more detail in a later chapter.
Grothendieck's wife, Mireille Dufour, was a few years older than hw was, and
originally came from Normandy. She had received secretarial training, and
worked occasionally as an accountant. Lorenz G. said of her that she was a
“person without a home”, not anchored in the bourgeois world; Ebba P.
experienced her as a strong and determined woman. As early as the fifties she
must have spent time in Spain; she spoke Spanish very well, and apparently had
contacts with Spanish anarchist networks. Presumably at some time around
1956, she met her future husband and his mother Hanka in these circles. In
Volume I of this biography (Anarchy), an account is given of how Alexander
was obliged to promise his mother on her deathbed to break off his relationship
with Aline Driquert and marry Mireille. The marriage cannot have been a really
happy one – at least not in the conventional sense. Grothendieck had sexual
relations with other women, including domestic employees, and he brought his
lovers to the family apartment and occasionally let them live there. Things went
so far that in one case Mireille made a “pact” with one of these women in order
to fend of the advances of a third one.
After Grothendieck's “turning point”, his relationship with Mireille became
not only tense, but hostile, at least on his side. At first he refused to pay any
alimony, and took to addressing his ex-wife with the formal “vous”. Around
1972 Mireille could not bear living in the house in Massy anymore, and instead
found herself an apartment in the dreary apartment blocks of the Paris suburbs.
She was forced to start working again, and for twelve hours a day her two sons
(then around eleven and seven years old) were left to their own devices. The
relationship improved only after Grothendieck’s meeting with the Japanese
monks in the middle of the seventies. A casual remark in a letter by
Grothendieck indicates that the divorce did not officially take place until 1981.
In spite of everything, Mireille never completely broke off from her former
husband. In 1978, some time after his move to Villecun, she also moved to the
region, the main reason being that their two sons should be near their father.
The same thing happened when Grothendieck later moved to Mormoiron.
The sons Alexandre (born on 18 July 1961) and Matthieu (born on 23 April
1965) lived with their mother after the separation, and became self-sufficient
very early. Alexandre attended school until the age of seventeen, Matthieu only
until fourteen, and neither of them graduated. Alexandre learned the profession
of electrician, but only worked sporadically, and later turned to making and
selling kalimbas.
I was very pleased to have news of you again, on the occasion of Maidi's visit to you. Yes,
Maidi roared through Europe like a rushing wind - so strongly, she says, is she drawn back
into the so-called bosom of her family. But she so wanted, just one last time before the end of
the world, to salute the older (and probably crumbling) branches of her existence, as a
farewell, so to speak. The reunion with her was amicable - almost a rediscovery. That
probably comes with the well-known serenity of age - I am now already half a century old
and feel correspondingly wise. Even a woman hardly tempts me out of the chimney corner -
that's how wise I am now, just imagine, Dagmar!
At the beginning of September Diana was at my place for a couple of days too, Maidi's
second daughter. She is a very alert young person, and loves Maidi with all her heart. She
understands quite a bit, and her love for her mother is quite poignant.
One might not even quote these rather banal lines if Diana's memory of the
visit1 were not been completely different:
Concerning my visit to Shurik in 1978, this was very pleasant for me, but for Maidi it ended
in disaster. I spent a crazy time in Villecun. He was very nice to me. Naturally he was
condescending, but at eighteen years old I was too sure of myself to feel that. I met some of
his friends. I would have thought of these as lovely memories, but after speaking with Y. in
2007 I realized how ignorant and immature I was. […]
Once Shurik longed for Maidi so much that he sent her money for a visit. At first she
hesitated, also because it was his money, but then she gave in. The first two days were fine,
but then he left Maidi alone in his house, not with permission, but with the explicit request to
read his letters. When he later came back he had a meltdown. He threw her out of the house,
1
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suitcase and all. He accused her of invading his private sphere, etc. From that moment on I
can't remember a single sane moment. We still exchanged a couple of letters later on, but
they got worse and worse. I didn't keep all of his letters because they were so horrible and
contrary to the facts. Also Maidi received a few letters which she immediately threw away. I
remember one that she didn't even open. She threw it straight into the garbage.
The rest of this letter will be quoted in Volume 4 of this biography. This visit
and these letters marked the end of Grothendieck's relationship with his sister
and her daughter.