Helping Early Childhood Learners Settle Down in School: Calming Down: Pre-Schoolers

Helping Early Childhood Learners Settle Down in School
Calming Down: Pre-schoolers
The biggest challenge for early childhood teachers is

the first few weeks when the children cry in school.
The fact that their familiar environment of family
undergoes a huge change induces anxiety and fear in
their little world. The best way to handle a child in
all-out meltdown mode varies a little bit by age and
stage.
The age when children go through normal fear of

separation is eight months, twelve months and anywhere between 18 months to three
years. Separation anxiety generally emerges around nine months of age and peaks
around 12-24 months and this is the time they enter school as well. The expression of
this anxiety is crying and clinging to the parent. First, the child may cry when the
parent leaves because they fear that the parent will
be gone forever. The second situation is when the
child, often after a fairly good day, begins to cry
when the parent returns. This is because the
parent's return reminds the child of how he or she
felt when the parent left. . It is not uncommon for
parents to observe some anger or distance from their children after they return.
Separation anxiety generally decreases between 2 and 3 years of age. The degree of
separation difficulty may vary from day to day. One day, the child may be anxious to
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go and another day, clingy and sad. For toddlers, those who have had very little
contact with others experience the most separation anxiety.
Other factors that contribute to this anxiety are:
 Tiredness
 Illness
 Changes in the household routine
 Family changes such as birth of a sibling.
 Change in caregiver or routine at day care center.
Preschoolers or kids under five will need to be redirected to a specific activity that
can help them calm down. Any activity that will be soothing to the child or help them
use their energy in a more positive way. With kids in this age range, walking away
from them during a tantrum can cause anxiety rather than calm, so it’s often best to
stay within eyesight and direct the teacher’s attention to another activity until the
child is calm. They will expect the teacher to role model how to calm down for them.
The teacher can role model calm activities by taking deep breaths, flipping through a
magazine, or tidying up, for example. It is important to demonstrate that the teacher
is not equally upset with his behavior and is not afraid of him or his anger. The idea is
not to give the tantrum more power than it deserves. The symptoms can last for as
short as a few minutes or can last for as long as the parent is away.
Strategies for teachers
Respect the Child’s Feelings. It is important for teachers to respect the child’s
feelings when the child suffering separation anxiety and missing parents. Allow the
child to feel this way, her emotions are real. Teachers should never try to criticize
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the child’s feelings or reprimand the child at that point. Also, bribing the child in
order to make them happy is not good practice. It is not a good choice to offer a
reward or punishment in return for the child’s behavior during separation. Their fears
and concerns are real and a natural part of the child’s development.
Engage the Child in Activities. Sometimes one staff member is better at dealing
with ’chaos’ than another. Sometimes a child simply relates better to one of the
staff. In any case it is a good idea to establish a routine and have the same staff
member engages with the same child each day until the child gains her confidence.
It’s a good way to ensure the child knows what is going to happen. Once the parents
have left, engage the child in an attempt to redirect their attention. Offer to read
the child a story, or sit with them at the play dough or sensory table. Better still offer
to take them outside. In our own experience, children often feel more comfortable
and relaxed in the freedom of the outdoor space.
Don’t force the child to participate. Sometimes a child experiencing separation

anxiety simply needs to be left alone for a few minutes. If your attempts to engage
the child don’t work, don’t manhandle them or attempt to be picking them up.
Clearly if your attempts are rejected the child is letting you know that they want to
be left alone. Sometimes a child will simply sit themselves on the floor right where
the parent left them to deal with their grief. As long as they are safe and out of
harm’s way it is often best to leave them for a few minutes to have their cry and
settle down. Once they realize Mum/Dad have left and are no longer around to react
to their tears they will usually settle down in a couple of minutes which is the time
for the teacher to step back in and attempt to engage them again.
Comfort the Child. Give the child a safe place to come to if they feel overwhelmed.
Reassure them it is okay to cry or feel upset. The teacher should let child know, in
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words he or she can understand that she appreciates how distressing it must be to be
separated from parents. Let them know where the teacher will be if they need her.
Assure them that time will pass more quickly when they are playing and that their
parent will return (for instance) after they have had a play inside and outside and
following the group story time at the end of the session.
Establish a routine. While parents may feel guilty about leaving a crying child, the
best advice to give parents is to have a set goodbye routine and leave. Teachers
should help determine the place and time for the routine. Perhaps when the child
arrives and puts her belongings away the parent should leave. It is important the child
knows the routine. This will to help them to become adjusted and comfortable within
their environment. Again, consistency is critical. Plan ahead and be prepared and
then before long the child’s self help skills will kick in and she will automatically take
herself off without the need of her parents and simply get on with being a pre-
schooler!
Communication is the key. Once the child has settled down the teacher should
telephone either parent and let them know how things are. Naturally parents feel
guilty leaving an unhappy child and will be distressed. The child may have settled into
play but they have been left with the picture their child curled up in the fetal
position rocking themselves back and forth and crying. A quick phone call will help to
establish a trusting relationship between the teacher and the parents as it will
reassure them of the schools’ compassion towards their child. However the teacher
should be honest in her report to the parent. If the child is happily playing or just
sitting and watching others play is to better to let parents know the exact situation
rather than any exaggerated form. This will help build trust between parents and
teachers which is essential at this stage.
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Talk to the parents. Continuous communication between parents and teachers is
crucial to help children settle into school routine. Teachers should find out how long
the separation problem has existed, how many places the child has been left, and
how many caretakers they have had. In addition, it is important to know if there have
been any recent changes in the child’s life and if any siblings have had similar issues.
This will help teachers to get a better sense of the issue.
Don’t give up! Things may be going along great and then after a month or so the child
may have a day or two when they feel that anxiety all over again. It’s likely to happen
after school holidays or an absence through sickness. Teachers should reassure the
child that the classroom is still a place where they are safe and cared about. The aim
is to provide a sense of warmth and caring while encouraging independence
Avoid the following:
Tickling
Showers
Too much audio or visual stimulation (like TV or video games)

Waking the senses (with smells like peppermint, energizing music, etc.)
Wrestling or rough play
Loud or unpredictable music/noise
First day: for new teachers the first days of handling the pressures of a new job and
tantrums of new pre-schoolers can be too much to handle. It is important that they
are physically fit and stay mentally calm. It is a good idea to send a letter to the
parents introducing the teacher with some brief information about the school program
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and curriculum. It is also advisable to include a “getting to know your child” kind of
form to help the teacher gauge if some children require any special attention.
Have an orientation and during that time the children can go into another room to
watch a movie or play, while the teachers give a presentation to the parents. Keep
the session brief, so the children have time to come in and explore the classroom.
Draw a map on the board for parents who don’t know the school’s arrival and
dismissal procedures. Explain a little about the curriculum and briefly go over our
handbook, then allow them time to ask questions. It is helpful to allow parents to
write how their child will get home (car, walk, daycare van, or extended day etc).
Sample of a first week schedule:
Time Activity Description

9:15 to 9:30 Sign in Choose your color
9:30 to 9:50 Exercise Body movement
9:50 to 10:10 Circle time Theme for the day
10:10 to 10:30 Play time Guided or free
10:30 to 11:00 Snack time Hand washing and napkin
use
11:00 to 11:20 Story time With visuals
11:20 to 11:30 Song/ rhyme time With actions
11:30 to 11:50 Craft work Shapes and colors
11:50 to 11:55 Goodbye Song

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Helping Early Childhood Learners Settle Down in School

Calming Down: Pre-schoolers

The biggest challenge for early childhood teachers is

The age when children go through normal fear of

Other factors that contribute to this anxiety are:

Strategies for teachers

Don’t force the child to participate. Sometimes a child experiencing separation

Avoid the following:

Too much audio or visual stimulation (like TV or video games)

Loud or unpredictable music/noise

Sample of a first week schedule:

Time Activity Description

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