HOW TO STOP

DRIVING YOURSELF
CRAZY ®
WITH HELP
FROM CHRISTIAN
SCRIPTURES

by Hank Robb, Ph.D.

Diplomate in Counseling Psychology
American Board of Professional Psychology

Published by
ALBERT ELLIS INSTITUTE
45 East 65th Street, New York, NY 10065
www.albertellis.org
 FOREWORD BELIEFS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE

Some years ago, a psychologist named Dr. Albert Ellis began Life gives you plenty of opportunities to drive yourself crazy,
suggesting that most common human disturbances such as but you’re the one who takes advantage of them. Just as you
learn to decline other invitations, you can also learn to decline
anger, anxiety, depression, guilt and procrastination were
life’s invitations to drive yourself crazy. You can even learn to
mainly caused by people’s tendency to believe nonsense
decline gracefully! Perhaps you can’t make lemonade every
instead of good sense.
time life gives you lemons, but neither do you have to squeeze
life’s lemons in your eyes! You can learn to think more sensibly
Since it is well known that religiously oriented people typically about your practical problems, thus reducing your emotional
turn first to their clergy and religious writings for help when problems.
experiencing these common human disturbances, it wasn’t long
before various people began putting together lists of Old and With some hard self-questioning, and lots of practice, you can
New Testament Scripture to buttress the notion that certain discover the beliefs with which you give yourself emotional
ideas are indeed nonsense and, as much as possible, had best problems over your practical problems. Discovering your beliefs
not be believed. is the first step in learning how to stop driving yourself crazy.

This pamphlet contains an edited collection of these efforts There are three main ways to determine what beliefs are
drawn from the work of Paul Hauck, Ph.D., Albert Grau, S.J., affecting your behavior. The first way is simple enough. You
Ph.D., Ricks Warren, Ph.D. and Howard Young, M.S.W. The voice the belief out loud or think it to yourself. For example,
Scriptural references have been drawn from a variety of you say out loud or think to yourself, “This is awful, I can’t
translations. I also wish to thank Steve Kliewer, D. Min. and stand it!”
David Kratz, M. Div. for their assistance in this project.
The second way occurs if you agree when someone else states
The 2005 printing of this pamphlet added the word “Christian” a belief, even though you may not have previously said or
to the pamphlet title, in recognition of the fact that other thought it yourself. For example, someone says, “They can’t
even be humans if they act that way,” and you respond with,
religious traditions have their own sacred texts which some
“Right! They’re not even humans!”
recognize as their “Bible.”

Hank Robb, Ph.D. The third way to discover your beliefs is to determine if your
behavior is consistent with a particular belief or set of beliefs.
This way of knowing what you believe is a little more diffi-
cult than the first two. But it is very important.

Consider this thought experiment. Imagine you’re in a room.

Locate the door or doors. Now, suppose I ask you how to get out
of this room. You point to the door, and say, “Through there.”
I say, “Fine, let’s go.”

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Instead of walking through the door, you attempt to go through A STRATEGY THAT HAS A CHANCE
the wall! OF SUCCEEDING
What do you really believe about getting out of that room? 1. Recognize the times your behavior shows you’re sticking
You said you believed one thing, but looking at your behavior with nonsense. Also recognize you can stop sticking with
shows something else. Your behavior shows you believe you nonsense, and reduce your emotional problems. You can
can leave the room by walking through the wall! change eventually, even if you can’t change easily.

If you want to know what beliefs are holding sway, look at 2. Vigorously attack your nonsense, and attempt to stop acting
your behavior. Ask yourself, “With what beliefs is my behavior in ways that are consistent with it. Attack your nonsense, but
consistent?” “What is my behavior showing that I believe?” don’t attack yourself for having it. After all, humans easily
This method also works as a check against the first two methods. think nonsensically.

You may think your anger, anxiety, depression, guilt and pro- 3. Vigorously encourage yourself to believe more sensible
crastination are caused by your frustrations. You are mistaken. ideas, and attempt to act in ways consistent with them.
“Frustration” simply means you aren’t getting what you want,
or you aren’t getting it as quickly and as easily as you want. 4. Continue to act in the new ways despite the fact they feel
To discover how your frustrations produce emotional problems, uncomfortable and not “really me,” until they do become
ask yourself what beliefs you stick with when you’re frustrated. quite comfortable and second nature. Remember, people
Are these beliefs good sense or nonsense? don’t feel comfortable and confident when they start any
new behavior, for example riding a bicycle. Comfort and
Like anything else, you learn to think more sensibly by dili- confidence come after successful practice, not before!
gently and persistently practicing sensible responding over
and over, until you get quite good at doing it. Of course, quite
good doesn’t equal totally perfect! Perfection is for God;
you’re a human.

When trying to overcome your nonsense, remember the three

reasons you succeed at anything you find difficult. First, you
use a strategy that has a chance of succeeding. Second, you
don’t take your failures as proof you can’t succeed. Third, you
don’t take the pain of failing as reason enough to stop trying.
“I haven’t done it yet,” doesn’t necessarily equal, “I can’t do
it.” And, “I can’t do it perfectly,” doesn’t necessarily equal,
“I can’t improve.” And just because you have a certain
thought like, “I am a banana,” doesn’t mean you have to
BELIEVE it.

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 HOW THINKING CAUSES ACTION NONSENSE #1
I MUST HAVE LOVE AND APPROVAL FROM ALL
Opportunities My Responses THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE!

for the My Behaviors Everyone should like me and it’s terrible if they don’t.
Satisfaction and Emotions
or Frustration (what I do THE BIBLE
of my Desires and
how I do it) “All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer
persecution.” (2nd Tim. 3:12)

“Marvel not my brethren if the world hate you.”

(lst John 3:13)
My Belief System
composed of Jesus promises us the hatred and misunderstanding of the
Good Sense whole world. (John 15:18-25)
and
Nonsense Misunderstood and disliked individuals from the Bible
include: Jesus (Matt. 11:18-19), Moses (Num. 12:1),
David (Ps. 69:4), and Paul (2nd Cor. 11:24-27).
This diagram reminds you that it is your beliefs, and not “What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world,
events, which directly cause your behavior and emotions. but ruin or lose himself?” (Luke 9:25)
Life gives you many opportunities for both the satisfaction
and frustration of your desires. It is your beliefs about these
GOOD SENSE
opportunities for satisfaction and frustration which mainly
cause you to feel and behave as you do. In turn, the things I enjoy approval from people. Therefore, I will act in such a
you do and the way you do them affect the kinds of opportu- manner that they will like me, as long as such actions do not
nities for satisfaction and frustration which come your way. violate my way of life. This will cause many people to like
me, but not all of them. It’s too bad that some people will not
If you want change, a good place to start is with your beliefs, like some things I do. It is also too bad that some people will
because it is your beliefs that are mainly causing you to feel never like me at all. It’s too bad — but I can still live a good
and behave as you do. You may never completely eliminate a and enjoyable life even without their approval.
tendency to stick with nonsense, but with diligent persistent
effort, you can stick more strongly, more intensely, more
forcefully and more frequently with good sense.

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 NONSENSE #2 NONSENSE #3

I MUST PROVE VERY COMPETENT, ADEQUATE WHEN PEOPLE ACT OBNOXIOUSLY AND
AND ACHIEVING IN SOME IMPORTANT AREA OF UNFAIRLY, THEY BECOME BAD, WICKED,
LIFE IN ORDER TO BE WORTHWHILE! ROTTEN INDIVIDUALS, AND
I AM RIGHT TO BLAME AND DAMN THEM.
If I do something important or good, my personhood
will be raised to the status of “important” or “good.” You rotten worm! You’re a super slob for
doing that to me, or will become a super slob
THE BIBLE if you ever do it in the future.

“God commended his love for us in that while we were THE BIBLE
sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8).
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” (Matt. 7:1)
“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
(Rom. 3:23) “Blessed are the merciful ...” (Matt. 5:7)

“But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the love with “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”
which he loved us, even when we were dead through our (Luke 23:34)
trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace “... But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them
you have been saved).” (Eph. 2:4 -5) that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray
for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.”
GOOD SENSE (Matt. 5:43-44)

The fact is no human can be perfect. I will try to do my best, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a
rather than the best, at whatever I decide God wants me to stone ... I have not condemned you, go and sin no more.”
do. When I am dissatisfied with my work, my personality, or (John 8:1-11)
my behavior, I will refuse to put myself down. Instead, I will
take positive steps to change my short comings. If 1 cannot GOOD SENSE
change, I will learn to accept them as unfortunate, but not
awful. Let’s face it. Fish swim, birds fly, and people sin (do obnox-
ious, unfair things to each other). Humanity will forever have a
tendency to act unfairly, and, unfortunately, people will often
give in to it. But, bad actions do not knock people off the scale
of humanity. When others are unfair to me, I will fight the
instinct to blame and condemn them. Instead, and depending on
the situation, I will learn to: (1) avoid them, (2) live gracefully
with their unfairness, or (3) work with them for change.

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 NONSENSE #4 NONSENSE #5

IT IS AWFUL, HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE AND HUMANS HAVE LITTLE ABILITY TO CONTROL

UNBEARABLE TO BE SERIOUSLY FRUSTRATED, THEIR FEELINGS GENERALLY AND THEIR
REJECTED, OR TREATED UNFAIRLY! DISTURBANCES IN PARTICULAR BECAUSE
THESE THINGS ARE TOTALLY
This is terrible and I can’t stand it! CAUSED BY EXTERNAL EVENTS.
They did it to me! I can’t help feeling this way!
THE BIBLE

“I have been thoroughly initiated into the human lot with THE BIBLE
all its ups and downs, fullness, and hunger, plenty and want.
I have strength for anything through him who gives me “For as he thinketh in his heart so is he ....” (Prov. 23:7)
power.” (Phil. 4:12-13).
“I thought on my ways and turned my feet.” (Ps. 119:59)
“... do not fret over your life ... see how the lilies grow;
“... Be transformed by the renewing of your mind....”
they do not toil, or spin, and yet I tell you that Solomon in all
(Rom. 12:2)
his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (Matt. 6:25)
“For I have learned to find resources in myself whatever
“Use every piece of God’s Armor to resist the my circumstances.” (Phil. 4:11)
enemy ... and when it is all over, you will still be
standing.” (Eph. 6:13) GOOD SENSE
“But man is born unto trouble as the sparks fly
upward.” (Job 5:7) I can take charge of my feelings and behavior by changing
my beliefs. Perhaps I cannot change quickly and easily, or
totally and forever, but with persistent diligent effort I can
GOOD SENSE
make some change. If I act on this knowledge, and take
responsibility for what I am believing about the difficulties I
Like everyone else, I dislike being frustrated, rejected, and
face in my life, I can give myself less misery and more joy.
treated unfairly, and I am wise to do everything possible to
avoid or overcome such things. But the truth is that I will
withstand anything I cannot avoid or change until I die or it
stops. My only real choice is between standing it well or
standing it poorly. Believing that anything is awful, horrible,
terrible and unbearable will only lead me to stand it poorly
instead of well.

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 NONSENSE #6 GOOD SENSE

IF SOMETHING IS OR MAY BE DANGEROUS OR Even though I may face harmful and dangerous situations, it
FEARSOME, ONE SHOULD BE TERRIBLY CONCERNED is unhealthy and unnecessary to become anxious and painfully
ABOUT IT AND SHOULD KEEP DWELLING ON THE worried about the future. The more I worry, the more incapaci-
POSSIBILITIES OF ITS OCCURRING. tated I become, until so much tension is created that I next
begin to worry more about the return of tension than the prob-
Oh my goodness, what if that happens!? It would be awful! lem which first led to it. I thus become nervous over becom-
ing nervous again; worry that I may worry; and become anx-
THE BIBLE ious that I will become anxious. These responses are hurtful
“Fear thou not, for I am with thee. Be not afraid for not helpful. When I worry I “feel” that I am doing something
I am thy God ....” (Isa. 41:10) positive about the problem when, in fact, I am not. No bad
thing has ever been averted by worry. Besides, worry implies
“I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.” (Ps. 23:4) that God is not in control of the universe, or not interested in
my life. If I believe there is a loving and powerful God taking
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything a personal interest in me, I am wise to leave worry to God
by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests and do the best I can.
to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)

“... Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it

be afraid.” (John 14:27)

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall
take thought for the things of itself.” (Matt. 6:34)

“So far you have faced no trial beyond what man can bear.
God keeps faith and will not allow you to be tested above your
powers, but when the test comes he will at the same time provide
a way by enabling you to sustain it.” (1st Cor. 10:13)

“This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and
be glad in it.” (Ps. 118:24)

“God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love,
and of sound mind.” (2nd Tim. 1:7)

“Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation

of the wicked, when it cometh.” (Proverbs 3:25)
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 NONSENSE #7 NONSENSE #8

IT IS EASIER TO AVOID LIFE’S DIFFICULTIES I MUST HAVE OTHER PEOPLE ON WHOM

AND SELF-RESPONSIBILITIES THAN I CAN ALWAYS DEPEND, AND I MUST HAVE
TO FACE THEM. SOMEONE STRONGER THAN ME ON WHOM
I CAN RELY.
If I ignore it, maybe it will go away. I can’t live life if I’m stuck counting on me.

THE BIBLE THE BIBLE

David ran to meet Goliath. (lst Sam. 17:48) “For I have learned to find resources in myself whatever
my circumstances.” (Phil. 4:11)
“We want you not to become lazy, but to imitate those
who, through faith and patience, are inheriting “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child;
the promises.” (Heb. 6:11-12) but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
(lst Cor. 13:11)
“The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath
nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be “Happy is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is
abundantly gratified.” (Prov. 13:4) in the Lord his God.” (Psalms 146:5)
“Discipline, no doubt, is never pleasant, at the time it seems
GOOD SENSE
painful, but in the end it yields for those who have been
trained by it the peaceful harvest of an honest life.”
(Heb. 12:11) It is desirable to have people to rely on when I need help, and
there’s nothing wrong with seeking help to carry life’s bur-
dens. Unfortunately, there is often no person around to help
GOOD SENSE me except me. Tough, but true! Refusing to try and live self-
reliantly is refusing to try and fulfill my God-given potential
Self-discipline is no fun, and examining my problems can be to do exactly that: live self-reliantly. Besides, when I believe
painful. But if I avoid facing them and take the easy way out, in a personal God, I am never totally alone.
I will have more pain and less gain in the long run. If I work
on my problems, they will probably get better. If I ignore,
avoid, or deny them, they will almost certainly get worse.

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 NONSENSE #9 NONSENSE #10
WE SHOULD BECOME QUITE UPSET OVER
BECAUSE SOMETHING STRONGLY INFLUENCED
OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS AND
MY PAST LIFE, IT HAS TO KEEP DETERMINING
DISTURBANCES.
MY FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOR TODAY.
It’s so awful, terrible and horrible that this has
It’s not my fault — I was raised this way! My mother
happened to Sally or Sam, but at least my high level
(or whoever) started me believing this and
of upset shows I am a deeply caring person rather
now I can’t change.
than an unfeeling slob.
THE BIBLE
THE BIBLE
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” “... Let the dead bury their dead ...” (Luke 9:60)
(Phil. 4:13)
“Martha, Martha, thou art anxious and troubled about many
“Forgetting what is behind me and reaching out for what lies things, and yet only one thing is needful.” (Luke 10:41-42)
ahead, I press toward the goal to win the prize which is God’s
call to the life above in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:13-14) “ ... First take the log out of your own eye, and then you
will see more clearly to take the speck out of your
“When anyone is united in Christ, there is a new world, the brother’s eye.” (Matt. 7:5)
older order has gone, and a new order has already begun.”
(2nd Cor. 5:17) GOOD SENSE

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of Getting upset doesn’t prove I am a “good” person. It only
old. Behold, I am doing a new thing ....” (Isaiah 43:18-19) proves I am an upset person. Instead of getting upset over
other people’s problems, I am wise to first ask myself if the
GOOD SENSE situation warrants my concern. There are many people in the
world with many problems, and it is often wise to let people
My past was important in forming my present character and work at solving their own problems just as I am wise to work
behavior. But just because I have stuck with a belief for a at solving my own problems. If another person’s problem
long time, or practiced a habit for a long time, does not mean does warrant my concern, I can work diligently and persist-
I cannot begin the processes of changing these beliefs and ently to make the best of things now, and assist the person in
habits. Today is tomorrow’s past. If I work diligently and avoiding harm and cultivating joy in the future. However,
persistently today, and every day, at sticking with different there is nothing I can do while I’m quite upset, that I can’t do
beliefs and establishing different habits, I eventually will more effectively and efficiently while I’m not upset.
have a different past and I will become a different person.

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 NONSENSE #11 NOTES

PEOPLE AND THINGS MUST TURN OUT PERFECTLY.

IT’S UNBEARABLE IF I DON’T FIND PERFECT
SOLUTIONS TO LIFE’S PROBLEMS, SO
I MUST SEEK THOSE SOLUTIONS FRANTICALLY.

Solutions to my problems MUST be PERFECT or

I can’t stand it.

THE BIBLE
“In this world ye shall have tribulation ...” (John 16:33)

“In your patience, you shall possess your souls.” (Luke 21:19)

“Which of you by being anxious about it can add to his

stature a single cubit?” (Matt. 6:27)

GOOD SENSE
Hank Robb, Ph.D., ABPP
Perfection is for God; I am a human. Many times I am stuck 4550 SW Kruse Way, Suite 225
with really bad situations and no good solutions. The only Lake Oswego, OR 97035
real choice I have is between making the best of a truly bad (503) 635-2489
situation, and making something less than the best of that [email protected]
situation. Demanding that I change a bad situation into a good
one is claiming the power of God for myself. I am wise to Copyright © 1988 by Hank Robb, Ph.D.
work diligently, persistently and calmly to make the best of
every situation, and to remember that what cannot be changed
is best accepted, gracefully. I can also make this prayer: More pamphlets, books, CDs and other materials are
available from the
May I seek acceptance of life as I find it,
Even though I may not approve of what I find, ALBERT ELLIS INSTITUTE
Wisdom to see what would be good to change, 45 East 65th Street, New York, NY 10065
Willingness to both act and follow through, and New York: (212) 535-0822
Gratitude for the opportunity to live my life as best I can.
www.albertellis.org

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