Toasted English: - R.K. Narayan

Toasted English
—R.K. Narayan
In American restaurants they call for ‘toasted English’, referring to English muffins which, though being made
in America, now retain ‘English’ as a sort of concession to their origin. The same may be said of the Americans’
language too. They too went through a phase of throwing out the British but retaining their language and
letting it flourish on American soil: the resultant language is different from its British counterpart; it may be
said to have gone through a process of toasting. One noticeable result of this toasting is that much of the
formalism surrounding the use of English has been abandoned.
In America, they have freed the language from the stifling tyranny of the Passive Voice. Where we
would say ceremoniously ‘Trespassing Prohibited’, their signboards, as I noticed in the parks of Berkeley,
merely say, ‘Newly Planted, Don’t Walk.’ Or ‘Absolutely No Parking’ leaves no room for speculation, and no
motorist need spend too much time peering out and studying the notice. In a similar situation our authorities
are likely to plant a twenty-line inscription on the landscape to say ‘Under Municipal Act so and so this area
has been reserved, etc., etc. and any vehicle stationed thereon will be deemed to have contravened sub-
section so and so of the Motor Vehicles Act, etc., etc.’ I saw on many American office-doors just ‘Do Not Enter.’
The traffic signs at pedestrian crossings never mince words; they just say ‘Go’; or ‘Wait’. In a Hollywood studio I
was rather startled to read, ‘Mark Stevens—Keep Out.’ Mark Stevens is a busy television personality who does
not like to be disturbed by visitors. Incidentally, it left me wondering why, if Mr. Stevens did not like
interruptions, he announced his name at all on the door! But it is one of the minor mysteries that make travel
through that country so engrossing.
The ‘toasting’ of English has been achieved by other means also. Americans have evolved certain basic
keywords which may be used anywhere, anyhow, words which have universal, multi-purpose use. I may make
my point clear if I mention the example of the word ‘check’ which may safely be labelled the American
National Expression. While the British usage confines it to its bare dictionary definitions, the American uses it
anywhere, this expression being so devised that one may blindly utter it and still find that it is appropriate for
the occasion. ‘I’ll check’ means ‘I’ll find out, investigate, examine, scrutinize, verify or probe.’ ‘Your check’
means your ticket, token, or whatever you may have to produce. ‘Check room’ is where you leave your
possession for a while ‘Check girl’ is one who takes care of your coat, umbrella or anything else you may leave
in custody. ‘Check in’ and ‘Check out’ (at first I heard it as ‘Chuck Out’ and was rather disturbed) refers to one’s
arrival in a hotel and departure therefrom. And there are scores of other incidental uses of the word. If you are
ever hard up for a noun or verb you may safely utter the word ‘check’ and feel confident that it will fit in.
‘Fabulous’ is another word that is used in that country freely, without much premeditation. Of course
everyone knows what fabulous means, but American usage has enlarged its sense. I heard a lady in Wisconsin
declare ‘Oh, those cats of mine are fabulous’—meaning that they were eccentric. ‘Oh, so and so, he is
fabulous!’ may mean anything from a sincere compliment to an insinuation that so and so displays a mild form
of charming lunacy.
‘O.K.’ or okay is another well-known example. It is the easiest sound that ever emanated from the
human vocal chords. Everyone knows how comprehensive its sense can be. ‘Okay’ is a self-sufficient word
which needs no suffix to indicate any special respect for the listener; it can stand by itself without a ‘Sir’ to
conclude the sentence. In this respect it is like ‘Yeah’ which seals off a sentence without further ado. ‘Yes, sir’
or ‘Yes, darling’ are conceivable but ‘Yeah sir’, or ‘Yeah darling’ is unthinkable. ‘Yeah’ is uttered in a short base-
of-the tongue grunt, which almost snaps any further continuation of a sentence. ‘Yes’ involves time as the
sibilant can be prolonged.
The refinements of usage in countries where English has a bazaar status are worth a study. On a
London bus you will never hear the conductor cry, ‘Ticket, Ticket.’ He approaches the passenger and says,
‘Thank you’, and on receiving the fare says again, ‘Thank you, sir.’ I found out that one could calculate the
number of passengers in a bus by halving the total number of ‘Thanks’ heard. In any western country if any
receptionist asks, ‘Can I help you?’ it really means, ‘Have you any business here, if so state it.’ Or it may mean
‘Evidently you have wandered off into a wrong place, go away.’ A man who wants to pass you always says
‘Excuse me’ while he may with all justice burst out, ‘What do you mean by standing there gaping at the world
while you block everybody’s passage? Stand aside, man!’ When you send your card in, the busy man’s
secretary appears and whispers in your ear, ‘Would you like to wait?’ Though the tone is one of consultation,
you have really no choice in the matter. The thing to do is not to answer the question but say ‘Thanks’ and look
for a comfortable seat in the waiting-room, although you may feel like saying, ‘No, I wouldn’t like to wait. I
have other things to do.’
The time has come for us to consider seriously the question of a Bharat brand of English. As I’ve said in
my essay on ‘English in India’ so far English has had a comparatively confined existence in our country—chiefly
in the halls of learning, justice or administration. Now the time is ripe for it to come to the dusty tree, market-
place and under the banyan tree. English must adopt the complexion of our life and assimilate its idiom. I am
not suggesting here a mongrelization of the language. I am not recommending that we should go back to the
days when we heard, particularly in the railways, ‘Wer U goin’, man?’ Bharat English will respect the rule of law
and maintain the dignity of grammar, but still have a swadeshi stamp about it unmistakably, like the Madras
handloom check shirt or the Tirupati doll. How it can be achieved is a question for practical men to tackle.

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