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Self-First: Not Being Self-Centered
Self-First: Not Being Self-Centered
“I cannot give what I do not have.” This is a famous line about giving that is really
putting myself in to quest. “Do I have the capability to give? Do I have something in me that I
can give?” I asked myself: “How am I doing these past few weeks?”
lifestyle. I kept on wondering and ending up daydreaming or in a pause moment. I feel that I
cannot bless others these days, I cannot give what I must always be giving. It is like, I know
myself what should I do but I cannot do it because I am always stopping myself then
procrastinates. These days, I am hopeless. I just let the time passed by and not care about what
is happening in my world. I do not want to share this burden to anyone because I do not want
them to worry. I really wanted to give them blessings and not to give them burdens. The least
that I can do right now is to keep silent and figure out myself what is lacking. I am not used to
being such a fruitless person. As a matter of fact, I am a type of person who is a blessing to
others, by encouraging others that are feeling hopeless, by sharing my faith to them, by being a
model of Christlikeness and also by giving what I have that is overflowing. I am not greedy and
self-centered. But now, it’s just that I don’t feel anything about what is my current state.
I have read an article in Kerygma, entitled: “Is Your Cup Full?” By: Michelle Alignay PhD.
She pointed out that before having service to others, I must fulfilled myself first. It’s not that I
am being self-centered but it is my need to be full first. It is right, I agreed on her statement.
Like what I have stated above, I feel so lacking, I am not full. So, I think I am reasonable now.
She also advised everyone to “pause, move and retreat” that makes me think about what I
need to do now. Perhaps, I am always bombarding myself with lots of problems that I am really
pushing to solve it so instantly. I do not have time for myself, I am already failing with my daily
devotionals with God and I am always get pressured with lots of expectations.
I have to go back where I’ve started, for me to remember the reasons why I keep on
pushing so hard because I might be overlooking something that is important. Filling my cup is so
necessary for me to fill the cup of others. I need to have something, for me to give abundantly.
Giving is the best practice to improve our very own self. If we always practice this, we will know