THE PHONE GAME

How to make him yours with just your voice

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MAKE HIM YOURS WITH JUST YOUR VOICE
There’s nothing quite like a telephone ringing to create tension
and demand action. That’s why the old school jangling
telephone ring is used so effectively in suspense, mystery and
horror films from past decades. A ringing phone in an old
movie always meant something important was about to occur.
Who can ever forget those old horror films where the operator
tells the poor person about to be murdered, “The phone call is
coming from inside the house!”

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In the past it was very tough to ignore a telephone call – that
loud, relentless ringing demanded you drop whatever you
were doing and go pick it up. The shrill ring meant something
important might have happened, or perhaps someone you
really wanted to talk to was on the far end of the line. If you
didn’t answer, you would miss them, miss that chance to talk
to them.

Telephones have changed a lot in recent times, but they still

have some of their old school appeal. Today, many people use
their smartphones only for texting or checking and updating
their social media status, taking and sending photos, or writing
email. Caller ID features make it much easier to know who is
calling and to choose to answer or ignore them. Not too many
people still “talk” on the phone at all!

Chatting on the phone used to be more of an art form,

particularly for lovers, who could use the phone as a tool to
keep the other person interested, keep them on the hook, and
increase their ardor to unbelievable levels. Nowadays most
lovers have ditched actual phone conversations for texting, or

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“sexting,” or turned the telephone into a purely functional tool
for arranging dates and meetings.

But there’s always an advantage in love relationships when you

do something different and “old fashioned.” Try writing an
actual love letter on paper and you will get an entirely different
response than if your love message lands in your beloved’s
email inbox with a thousand other messages, all in the same
boring font. A handwritten love letter to your man is sure to
get his attention, simply because it is so different from
everything else that goes on in his life. Try spraying perfume
on an email – it ain’t going to work!

Let me tell you, ladies, that the telephone has now evolved far
enough into a technological multi-tool that an actual voice
conversation with your man counts as quaint and old
fashioned. And that’s a good thing, because if you learn to use
the phone properly, you can entice your man in an entirely
new and powerful way: with your voice!

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Just like your handwriting, your voice is a very personal part of
you. A handwritten note is special because it is unique. And
your voice is an unique, intimate and sexy part of you, too.

One of the best ways to interest and attract a man, and to keep
him interested, is to be different, unique and unusual. Use
your telephone and your voice to do just that. He’s likely to get
dozens of texts a day – texts are unobtrusive and polite and
they wait quietly to be answered... or ignored. Don’t even get
me started on emails – yawn! Send him an email if you want to
put him to sleep, or if you want to increase the chances of
being completely forgotten or ignored.

You aren’t unobtrusive, and you don’t want to be ignored, so

dial his digits and talk to him directly!

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FIRST DATES (AND SECOND ONES TOO!)
Let’s say you just met him and want to ask him on a date. If
you’re feeling bold enough and choose to call him instead of
text, then do so from a busy place – because you’re a busy
woman, in demand, with lots of things to do, people to see,
and places to go. Keep the conversation short and direct,
and keep your voice low, not loud. It won’t hurt if he can’t hear
everything you say and has to ask you to repeat something.

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 YOU: “Hi, I just stepped out of a meeting at work… I was
thinking about you and wondered if you’d like to have
dinner or a drink with me this evening.”

If he says yes, then name a place and time. If he stammers and

isn’t sure, or says he has to check his schedule, say, “Okay,
well, you figure it out and give me a call back when you do. I’m
free tonight.” Then hang up and go back into your meeting.

This short exchange may take him by surprise, which is good

for you. It reminds him you exist and puts the ball in his court.
He has to figure out whether he wants to see you tonight, and
then he has to call you back. You don’t have to do anything.
Whatever happens, he will be thinking about you the rest of
the day and night. Even if he can’t meet you, you’ll be on his
mind, and it’s likely when he calls you back he will propose an
alternate day for your date.

Again, this scenario also plays out well if you’re in a busy train
station or airport or similar public place, somewhere with lots
of people around, a place that indicates you are a busy woman

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on your way somewhere important, but you took time, despite
being busy, to call him.

YOU: “Hello. I’m in a crowd and I can’t talk long, but I was
wondering if you’d like to meet me for coffee, maybe
tomorrow?”

The crowd and your sense of urgency keep him a little off
balance, and this is where actually talking on the phone, rather
than texting, works in your favor. A text is polite and not
intrusive. It appears on his screen – “Coffee tomorrow?” – and
just sits there in limbo. He can glance at it and put the phone
in his pocket and answer it later. He can take as much time as
he wants to think about it. He can think of reasons why he’s
too busy to meet you, or whatever. You don’t want him to have
all that time, because meeting you for coffee is a special,
limited time only offer, and by calling you make that clear.

When you’re speaking to him on the phone though, and

especially when you let him know how busy you are, he
doesn’t have the luxury of laziness. You’re right there on the
phone, he’s heard your voice, he imagines you rushing off to

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some important appointment, and he has to decide right now.
You’re waiting for his answer.

When that answer is yes, you’ve achieved your goal. Keep the
rest of your talk short – remember, you’re busy and in
demand. Don’t sound like you’re so busy you are irritable. Stay
positive and cheerful, but keep the chat short and efficient:
“That’s great – I’ll see you at noon! Bye!”

If he says no, don’t panic. Remember that you’re a busy

woman with a life to live: “Okay, another time, then. Let me
know. Gotta go, enjoy the rest of your day!”

…And hang up.

You may be disappointed, but don’t communicate that right

now. Let the disappointment be on his end. A one minute
phone call just ended, and he’s a bit stunned – what just
happened? That confusion can continue to whirl in his brain
for the rest of the day, and it may very well lead him to call you
back and propose a different time for your date.

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 WHAT HE CAN’T SEE
One great advantage of phone conversations is that he can’t
see you. All the information he is receiving is from your voice,
the tone and inflection of your speech. Everything else he has
to create with his own imagination… and sexual attraction has
a lot to do with imagination.

Imagination is the reason a woman wearing the right clothes

can be far sexier than a naked woman – because the man does
the work of undressing her with his mind. He gets a hint of

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what he might get to see (if he’s lucky). Remember that the
brain is our primary sexual organ, a fact that people too often
forget.

Being sexy on the phone does take some work, though. Like
my ‘Constellation Texts’ that you may have already read about,
it’s all about what you leave out. You’ll want to use your
common sense and judge the level of your relationship with
him. Sometimes your instincts are all you have to go on. If
you’ve only been on one date and he seems like a pretty
traditional guy, then it might not be time (yet) for you to call
him up and tell him, in your best sultry voice, that you’ve been
thinking about him.

If you’re confident enough, though, call him at an unexpected

time.

YOU: “Hi, I just woke up and was thinking about you.”

HIM: “Really? What were you thinking?”

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 YOU: “Wouldn’t you like to know? I don’t really have time
to tell you now, but we could get together later and
maybe I could tell you.” *pause* “Or I could show you.”

You don’t need to offer any specifics. You may not even know
what you were thinking, but that’s not important. What
matters is that you’ve called him, in this case first thing in the
morning, when he’s on his way to work or whatever, and
you’ve planted an idea in his mind. His imagination can work
on that idea all day.

The primitive, powerful, Neanderthal part of his brain – the

part that’s hard for any man to ignore – will now be doing your
work for you all day while he’s in meetings at the office, or
while he’s stuck in traffic, or while he’s out with his buddies.

So keep the specifics to a minimum, and let him do the work

for you.

You could also choose to randomly call him at work.

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 YOU: “Hi there, sorry to bother you, but I wanted to take
somebody to lunch at that restaurant we went to last
month, but I can’t remember the name of it. What was it
called?”

You don’t need to tell him who the “somebody” is. He may ask.

HIM: “You’re taking somebody to lunch, eh? Somebody

who?”

YOU: “Oh, it doesn’t matter. You don’t know them. What

was the name of that place again? I remember the food
we had was fantastic. Mmmmmmmmm… I can still taste
the (supply specific detail of whatever you had).”

Food and sex are akin in the sensual pleasure they provoke,
and you can sound pretty sexy talking about food. He will
wonder whether you are only thinking about food, and that’s
exactly what you want him wondering.

Note that “somebody” is a “them.” Not a him or her.

Remember that you’re divulging information over the phone

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on a need to know basis, and he doesn’t need to know who
you’re having lunch with. Again, you are using the limited
information provided by a phone conversation to your
advantage. He can’t see your face, so he can’t gather any clues
from your expression or body language about exactly what’s
going on. Are you teasing him? Yes, but maybe you are also
seriously going out with another man.

Again, this puts his brain to work for you. Whatever he

wonders will be on his mind all day, and he’ll be curious to
learn more about your mysterious date later. A sophisticated
man will also have a sense of humor and appreciate the way
you are having fun with him. A little bit of mystery is always a
good thing.

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 CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN
The phone isn’t just a useful mystery machine for the early
stages of your relationship. Once you’ve progressed to regular
dating, or even after you’re in a long term relationship or
married, you can still take advantage of your voice to keep
your man attracted to you. The goal, remember, is to keep
him thinking about you, rather than thinking about all the
other things going on in his life. You want to stand out, and

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luckily your voice over the phone can cut through all the
clutter of work, emails, and texts he’s receiving daily.

Relationships change when people settle in for the long term.

Sometimes people stop spending as much time worrying
about what to wear or how they look. Don’t let that happen.
Call him up before a date and tell him what you want him to
wear.

YOU: “Hey there … I was wondering what you were

planning to wear tonight. I’m really looking forward to
seeing you.”

HIM: “Uh, I hadn’t really thought about it.”

YOU: “Well, I’ve thought about it, and I think you should
wear that blue suit you wore last month when we went to
that Italian restaurant. Do you remember that night?”

HIM: “Um, yes, I remember …”

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 YOU (*keeping the conversation short*): “You look
fantastic in that suit. Mmmmmmmmmmmm… (you’re
picturing him in it, and you like what you see) Make sure
you wear it tonight. I’ll see you at six – be on time.”

And you hang up.

Notice the ways you’ve managed, again, to keep him off

balance by not having a lengthy conversation where he has
time to think or even really to reply. You called him up, let him
know you were thinking about dinner tonight, and about
what’s going to happen after dinner, if he’s lucky and wears the
right clothes. You didn’t ask him to wear that suit, not really.
You called him up and told him to wear it. If he knows what’s
good for him, he’ll wear it. He’ll hear that purr of yours,
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…” in his mind all day.

If he thinks he’s going to wear something else, say, the clothes

he’s already has on for work, you tell him to think again.

YOU: “I was wondering what you were planning to wear to the

concert tonight.”

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 HIM: “I hadn’t thought about it. I don’t think I’ll have time
to change, so I’ll probably just wear what I’ve already got
on.”

YOU: “For a concert? No way! Find a way to get home and

get those black jeans you wore last week. And your boots.
You look hot in those jeans. Ooooh. I couldn’t stop
thinking about them last time I saw you in them. I’m
looking forward to seeing you in them again … and out of
them.”

HIM: “Wow. I don’t know if I’ll have time to get them

before…”

YOU (*cutting him off*): “Figure it out. Don’t show up in

anything else.”

And you hang up. Once again, you are in charge, not only of
what he wears, but of what he thinks about during the day. A
one-minute phone conversation leaves the memory of your

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voice – and lets him know you are turned on – for the rest of
the day.

He’ll probably be wondering what you’re going to wear. Not

that it’s any of his business. If he asks you, don’t tell him.

HIM: “What about you? What are you wearing?”

YOU: “Oh, you’ll find out.”

…and hang up. Or you could spice the conversation up like

this:

HIM: “What about you? What are you wearing?”

YOU: “Do you mean tonight? Or right now? I think you’ll

like what I’m going to wear tonight, but you’ll see. And I’m
sure you’d like what I’m wearing right now … See you
tonight. Don’t be late.”

…And you hang up. You’re in charge – of how long the phone
call is, of what he wears, and of what he thinks about.

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 TELLING A GOOD STORY
Before smartphones, computers, and television, people
entertained each other by voice, by telling stories that helped
create a more intense connection between them. You can
resurrect that sort of practice by calling him on the phone to
tell a quick joke or interesting story.

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Instead of just passing along a joke, pointed political barb, or
funny story through social media, email or tweet, call him up
and tell it to him. If you can make a man laugh, you’ve made a
good connection with him. Laughter and humor are very
important foundations in any relationship – laughter helps
break social tension, reduce stress, and create social bonds
between people.

Don’t be afraid of being a bit silly. Just call him, or at the

very least send a Comical Text his way.

YOU: “Hey, I was just thinking about you. I heard a funny

joke and wanted to tell it to you.”

HIM: “I just got out of a two-hour marketing meeting! I

could use a joke!”

YOU: “So … what did St. Patrick say when he was driving
all the snakes out of Ireland?”

HIM: “I dunno. What did he say?”

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 YOU: “Keep quiet there in the back seat!”

HIM: “Ha! That’s a good one.”

YOU: “I just wanted to make you smile for a minute. I’m

really looking forward to seeing you tonight. Take care.”

And you hang up.

Think about it – you didn’t call him with any agenda, not to
remind him to do some chore he’s forgotten, or to pick up
something at the store, or to ask him some inane question.
You called him for two minutes or less just to make him smile
and laugh. You are now a brief bright spot in his work day.

He may keep thinking about the little joke you told, and he
may even relate it to some of his coworkers. Little,
fundamental human connections like this are the bricks that
build up the edifice of your relationship. You made him pause
for a moment during his stressful day to smile and laugh.
Laughter releases stress and produces a positive chemical
change in his brain. Those happy feelings, even if they only last

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a couple of minutes, are associated with you, and they
increase his connection to you. Reminding him that you have a
sense of humour (one of the top attractive traits men look for
in women) never hurts, either.

It doesn’t have to be a joke, either. Perhaps you read some

new curious factoid, a news tidbit, or a “thinker” that makes
you stop and go, “huh.” Call him up and share it with him.
Don’t bother tweeting it or sending it over Facebook; you can
speak out those 140 characters in a few seconds, and by using
your voice you are establishing a genuine connection with your
man.

YOU: “Hey! I was just taking a quick break here at work

and I was thinking about you. Did you see that story about
the alligator that wandered into a restaurant in Louisiana?
Hilarious!”

HIM: “No, I didn’t see it. I’ve been trapped in a two hour
strategy meeting with those clients I told you about.”

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 YOU: “Oh, them! Maybe you should have brought an
alligator into the meeting.”

HIM: “Yeah, it sure would’ve gone quicker. What

happened at this restaurant?”

You tell him the story in brief, and remind him that you’re
looking forward to seeing him soon, and hang up. This entire
conversation might take two minutes, but it is a genuine
human connection, powered by your voice. You’ve expressed
sympathy over his tough meeting, distracted him from any
work stress, made him laugh a bit, and reminded him that you
are thinking about him, all in those short few moments.

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 READING ALOUD
Though you might think of “reading aloud” as something you
did in school, or with your kids before bedtime, but if you can’t
see each other it can be a useful practice on the phone, too.

For instance, let’s say your boyfriend or husband is traveling.

Rather than leaving him to spend all night watching bad motel
room cable TV, surfing the web on his phone, or sitting in a

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highway bar thousands of miles away from you, get him on the
phone where he can connect with you.

Call him up and read him a “bedtime story.” Depending on

how well you know each other, you can play it straight and
read an entertaining story from a book, or you can find
something humorous or sexy, depending on your intent.

Look around for books of short stories, or find some

interesting brief articles in the news. Practice reading aloud if
you want to – just lock yourself in the bathroom and try out
your reading voice – but that’s not necessary. You’ll get better
at it as you do it.

You can also be a little bit fun and read him a children’s story,
the kind you’d read a kid before bedtime. Depending on your
personality and his, this could be a silly experience, which
makes you both laugh a bit, or it could be a sweet moment,
where you let him know you care about him.

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 SEXY TIME
YOU: “Hey … I was just getting ready to go to bed … and
… you know … I was … um … thinking about you.”

The pauses and hesitation in this conversation make it seem

like you aren’t sure you should tell him exactly what’s on your
mind, or what you’re doing. He fills in the blanks with whatever
he hopes you might be thinking about him, or whatever you

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might be doing about it. That’s the beauty of the phone – by
cutting out all the visual cues and body language that we have
available in face-to-face conversation, it increases our use of
the imagination. You’ve now gotten his imagination in gear,
and you’ve gotten his attention.

It’s better to leave things unsaid, at least for a while, because

by forcing him to imagine what’s going on, you are engaging
his brain. His imagination can turn him on faster than anything
else, even you, no matter how sexy you are in the flesh.
Remember that the brain is the primary sexual organ, and you
want to use it to turn him on.

YOU: “I haven’t seen you in … what is it now? … a whole

week … and I was just daydreaming about when you get
back to town …”

Here again, leaving meaningful pauses lets him fill in the

blanks with whatever naughty ideas he might have. You don’t
need to give him any specifics, especially not right away.
There’s an art to seduction, and the phone, which puts the
focus on just your voice, amplifies that art.

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Don’t be too direct. Calling him up and saying, “Hey, I’m
masturbating before I go to sleep” may communicate all the
facts, but it ain’t sexy and it doesn’t delay gratification enough.

Men evolved as hunters who stalked their prey, followed its

footsteps across the savannah, and worked very hard to
ultimately catch it. Their brains are still programmed that way.
Give him something to chase, some work to do. He thinks he
knows what you’re doing, but he isn’t sure. He thinks you are
turned on and that perhaps some phone sex might happen,
but he isn’t sure. You keep him guessing for a while, and then
there’s a growing realization inside him that you’re doing more
than just “thinking” about him.

HIM: “What are you wearing?”

YOU: “Oh, it’s been so hot here …” (*Let him finish this
thought in his mind*)

HIM: “What are you doing?”

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 YOU: “What do you mean? I’m talking to you on the
phone.” (*You know exactly what he is asking, but you
aren’t ready to give him the satisfaction*)

Use the limitations of the phone to your advantage. Don’t

bother sending him sexy photos or videos, at least not until
much later. As you learned in Text Chemistry, giving him these
private pictures can make for a messy situation if the
relationship turns sour. Instead, let his imagination engage
and turn him on to make him yours. What you are aiming for is
eroticism, and that’s almost a lost art form in our world of
instant gratification.

Besides, if he wants to see pictures of naked people, he can get

them in seconds on his phone. You can’t – and shouldn’t even
bother trying to – compete with that. He can’t get you in
seconds – getting you takes time and hard work and a genuine
connection. That’s what makes getting you fun and worthwhile.

Eroticism is personal and genuine, whereas pornography is

anonymous, fake, and mass-produced. One way you can be far
sexier than any pornography over the phone is by being

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personal. Use his name often during phone seduction or
phone sex. Say his name when you’re having an orgasm over
the phone – none of those pornography starlets can do that.

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 ROLE PLAYING
Once the two of you are more comfortable on the phone, don’t
limit yourselves. Try more advanced things, such as role
playing. Call him at work and pretend to be somebody else.
Make a date with him or start a phone game where you call
him periodically and tell him what to do, where to go, etc.

Think of it as a kind of telephone scavenger hunt where you

send him all over the place, calling him every now and then

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again to check on his progress. The end result, of course, is
getting him to you, wherever you are waiting for him – a
restaurant, hotel, beach, even at home.

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 THE POWER OF YOUR VOICE
In conclusion, remember to use the phone and your voice to
your advantage. Since a voice telephone call is so uncommon
these days, you can make your message stand out precisely by
using this old fashioned way of communicating.

The phone can work to your advantage no matter what stage

your relationship is in, from first dates all the way through
decades of marriage, so don’t be shy, start dialing his number
today.

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