Black Marie 

 
We was all at the house on Baltimore. And Mama had just started batterin’ 
some chicken and Big Bob came runnin in shoutin’- “HE KILLED MAMA HE 
KILLED MAMA!” And I was like “WHO KILLED WHO??!!” And Big Bob was like 
“WHOOKIE JUST KILLED MAMA!!” Then all of a sudden the rest of Big Bob’s 
brothers and sisters come running into the damn house with Blood all over 
their arms and stuff and I’m like “WAIT A GATDAMN MINUTE WHATS GOIN’ 
ONS???” (laughing) And they all started talkin real fast real quick and we all 
ran out to the porch and they pointed across the street at their house and of 
course me, Tina, Tyrone, MELVIN, Terry and Alphonso, we take our curious 
asses on over there to see what was what and when we get there we walk 
into the kitchen and see Whookie standing there smoking a cigarette with 
his mama’s head sitting on the counter next to him... Her body on the floor 
and her head on the counter. Blood everywhere... and Whookie was real cool 
just talking to her like ain’t nothing was nothing. ”I told you to give me a 
gatdamn cigarette. I ain’t gat time for no damn games mama. Now you see. 
Now you see. All you have to do is give me a gatdamn cigarette and we be 
cool.” This crazy fool chopped his own mama’s head off cuz she refused to 
give him her last damn cigarette. Ya’ll remember. 

1
 White Marie 
 
We went to that little club downtown on the corner of Grafton. What was it 
called? I think it was “Kellers”. Remember. We had to sneak Tina in cuz she 
had just turned 16 or something. We all sat up in there like we was grown and 
dared anybody to tell us any different... You had your first pina colada. And we 
could tell you liked it. Cuz that was the day we met Zippity Boom. Zippity 
Boom Boom. She came OUT that night for the first time and we was all 
laughing. We use to laugh, Barbara. Remember. Just all night. Remember 
when we gat back from Kellers that night... we snuck in through the side 
window and we had to almost smother you to keep you from laughing too 
loud and waking up mama and daddy... and we all just decided to sleep in 
the same bed... sistahs... togetha... we woke up just like that in the morning... 
togetha... woke up... from a bucket of ice cold water being thrown on us... 
looked down and saw that we were all tied to one another remember? Mama 
standing there ... empty bucket in one hand and in the other hand she had 
that green water hose she had cut in half... remember that... that green snake 
whip... she proceeded to beat the hell out of all of us... we all tried to go in 
opposite directions cuz we were too stupid to realize that meant we wouldn’t 
be able to go anywhere... she beat us black... and purplish blue... and you... 
Zippity Boom... you just kept right on laughing... I want my sister back... I want 
my sister that can take an ass beating and laugh through that shit... I want 
you to get help Barbara... Please will you go? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

2
 Adlean 
 
... Barbara. I remember how you use to come in and... tickle my feet in the 
morning. You knew I never liked getting up for school so you said you’d wake 
me up with a laugh. And I know sometimes I’d bust you in the jaw with a 
shoe, but the ticklin’ grew on me and I started to expect it. Well sis, I need my 
little tickle alarm clock back in my life. I would like to leave this earth knowing 
that you had gotten your life back together... put your self together in a whole 
different way without all those drugs and drink. It makes me very sad to have 
to be riding through downtown with my grandkids and see you standing on 
the street corner after having shitted on yourself. That one time I stopped... it 
broke my heart to see you. But you should know I have not stopped many 
many many times Barbara. The time you were riding on the front of that old 
man’s Hoveround wheelchair. In the middle of the street. The time you were 
chasing down some wimmen with a hot glue gun and no draws on your ass. 
Ass just in the air. In the middle of the street. I said to myself. “Is that my sister 
Barbara? In the middle of the gatdamn street?” ...I don’t stop anymore. For 
the sake of my grandkids I don’t stop. But Zippity Boom you have to stop. You 
need help. We’ve found a place that can help you. We will be here to support 
you when you return. Will you please take this gift we are giving you. We love 
you. Will you please go to rehab? Will you please take this help from those 
nice people up in Alaska?  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

3
 Black James T 
 
... And I remember the time. I use to put you on my shoulders and we’d go 
down to the penny candy store. And you’d get them lemon heads. And them 
red hots. And mix them together. Once they were good and soggy in your 
mouth you’d open up wide and stick your tongue out and laugh. You called it 
pink lemonade. I miss that sister, Barbara. I miss the way as you gat older 
you’d call me and we’d talk about Eric and Peanut and all those men who 
ever tried to hurt you. And you’d say “brotha I need your help”. Once or twice 
I’d come over there and hold one of them down while you beat the hell out of 
‘em. I want that sister back. That’s the sister I want back.  
 
(suddenly very emotional) 
 
... You been on this a long time Barbara. And sis its time to let it go. Its time to 
let it go Zippity Boom. And come on home. Go get the help we’re offering you 
and come on home. We need you to let it go Barbara. Get the help. Will you 
do this? Will you take this opportunity that we are offering to you? And come 
on home.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

4
 White James T 
 
Who the hell are you talking about? I’m talking about Barbara. Zippity Boom. 
Our sister. Remember her? She don’t know from no gatdamn “taking it easy”. 
She gat two modes. Zippity. Boom. Aint shit in between. Aint no zippity do 
dah. When she taste liquor. She go Zippity. Boom! Period. I know it. You know 
it. And all these others who comin today knows it. Now ya’ll wanna sit back 
today and act like we a normal gatdamn family. We ain’t no normal gatdamn 
family and we ain’t never been no normal gatdamn family but now all of a 
sudden ya’ll read a book or see a tv show and ya’ll wanna gather up and act 
like we a normal gatdamn family. Zippity Boom is gonna walk up in here and 
act out her head- Barbara don’t give a damn about us all being here. Why 
should she give a damn about that? How you gonna keep liquor away from 
Barbara? She wake up high. Zippity Boom will roll up in here and it will be a 
Wrap.. We might as well draw three gatdamn circles on this gatdamn 
cement floor pitch a tent and hand out tickets because when ZIPPITY BOOM 
rolls up into this heah park its gonna be the Greatest Show on muthafuckin 
Earth.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

5
 
Black Barbara 
 
The BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA dressed to Kill holds an armful of 
OSCARS. She raises her most recent one in the Air.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
I told myself I wasn’t going to cry... First giving honor to God- I mean my 
Agent and Manager- Sorry... And the whole team at ELEMENOPEA. When I 
first read Barbara’s story I knew from the first page that I had to make this 
movie. And then I met her... Wow... Wow... Wow we never thought something 
like this would happen. This has been a night I will remember for the rest of 
my - Wow...  
 
This movie began with the brave journey of this magnificent woman and her 
amazing family. 
 
(she points to the dumbfounded WHITE FAMILY)  
 
Thank you for sharing your stories from the bowels of your drug and alcohol 
addictions. I want to thank the Academy and all the tremendously brave 
Actors up here on this stage with me tonight. We took a chance and told a 
story no one believed anyone would ever come see and we ended up here! 
Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think this could come true. Thank you. 
Thank you all.  
 
(she motions for WHITE BARBARA to come to her and they hug)  
 
Barbara, this is your night. This is your family’s night. Your story has inspired 
everyone in this room tonight. And I want to, from the bottom of my heart, 
once again, thank my Agents, for sending me your memoirs at a time when 
most of you know I, myself, was going through some tough times. Thank you 
Academy, thank you Seth and Manny. And lastly, thank you, God.  
 
Thunderous Applause. 
 
 

6
 
White Barbara 
 
Its all lies. ... My memoirs. Its all lies. From start to finish. You’re right. Its not 
believable. I made it all up. In rehab... In rehab I read this one memoir that 
everybody told me had sold the most around the world... And I read it. It 
moved me... the strength I got just from reading this one little book... this 
memoir... and then one day... another woman came into rehab... and she was... 
deep in the rock bottoms- I went to my room and got this memoir and I 
handed it to her... because you see someone had handed it to me in my rock 
bottoms and it had changed my life... I handed it to her... and you know what 
she did... slapped it out of my hand... “that’s som’ ole bullshit”... “ain’t you 
heard”... “thats som’ ole bullshit”... I picked it up off the floor and right there... 
right in the front of the book... in the part where nobody reads where nobody 
looks at- “This book... is a combination of facts... and certain embellishments... 
Names, dates, places, events and details ...have been changed, invented and 
altered... for literary effect. The reader should not consider this book anything 
other than a work of literature.” I remember like it was yesterday... you’d think 
my heart would sink... that I’d be upset... angry... you’d think I’d want to find 
this man who changed my state of being... who gave me hope against all 
hope... 80. you’d think I want to find him and spit in his face... but instead I 
thought... Well hell.. I know how to lie... I know how to invent shit alter details 
I’m a gatdamn expert at changing the truth... I’ve been doing that my whole 
damn life... So I started writing 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

7
 
Black Lillie Anne 
 
There is only a handful of us left. Therefore. This family, is a endangered 
species. And its about time that we took a step in a different direction. If only 
for our own survival. Now I understand you have reservations. I understand 
you want Barbara to be safe and close to us but the entire point of this is that 
she NOT be safe and close to us. The point is that she NOT be around any of 
the vices that have allowed her to easily access her drugs and alcohol. And 
I’m here to tell you that this entire family. Is a vice. This city. Is a Vice. 
Therefore.... Alaska.... Yoga.... And muthafuckin’ Horses!!! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

8
 
White Lillie Anne 
 
 
You need to tell Barbara what she means to you. She needs to know we are 
here to support her and not to make her feel bad or anything like that. Speak 
about how yall use to have so much fun with her when we was young, James 
T, how you use to put her on your shoulders and take her to the penny candy 
store, and Adlean how she would brighten up your day with the way she 
always came into your room and tickled your feet in the morning, and Marie 
how she use to lay in the grass with you and you all would look up at the stars 
counting the constellations until mama would call you in for dinner and on 
the way in you and Barbara would catch fireflies and how we all use to use 
them as night lights stuck in a jar when we slept outside in that ole tent in 
the back yard next to that ole swing set. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

9
 
Barbaras’ Scene 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA. 
I don’t believe it.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Believe what?  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
I don’t believe it happened that way.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
What way?  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
That way.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Well it did.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Its just not believable.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
I’m sorry if my life isn’t believable 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Oh, I believe you.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
But you just said 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
I just don’t believe it.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
What???  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
And I don’t believe anybody else will.  

10
  
WHITE BARBARA.  
If we’re talking about Believability- first off you’re Black.  
 
Silence.  
Silence.  
Silence.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA goes close to WHITE BARBARA and the following 
conversation is done in whispers.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
You are sure you know who you’re talking to, right?  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(looking around, whisper) 
... You? 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Yes... Moi.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
You’re black.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
I’m not black.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
You’re not black?  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
I’m a Movie Star... And a Sanga.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Yeah you’re a black movie star singer.  

11
  
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
No, my dear. I’m a Movie. Star. Sanga.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Ok. But. You. Are. Black.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
I don’t think you are understanding me. You see. When you reach the level of fame 
that I have. Race. Sorta. Falls away.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Falls away.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Falls away. Like over a cliff. When you are as famous as I am, Race, takes a running 
nose dive over a cliff and you are just left with... Movie Star Sanga.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper) 
... Ok.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
So... if we could leave Race. Like completely out of the conversation. Like way out. Of 
the conversation. Like all the way back in Africa out of the conversation. That would 
be great.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
... Ok.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
And I think you should apologize.  
 
 

12
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
For what?  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Well, I think you know for what.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
Look, I won’t bring up the fact that I’m White and you’re Black if that disturbs you, 
but I’m not going to apologize for stating the 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
(whisper)  
1 million dollars is what they are planning on paying you. For your rights. To your life... 
So I think you will indeed apologize to the Movie Star Sanga that you have just 
insulted by calling her Black.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA steps away to where she was before. WHITE 
BARBARA looks at her for a moment. She looks around to see if this is some hidden 
camera joke and realizes that it isn’t.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
...I’m sorry... for calling you Black.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Apology accepted.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Thank you...  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
I’m sure we both have a lot of questions for each other. And my schedule is 
extremely tight.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
...Yes.  
 
They sit.  
 

13
  
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
So.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
So.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Sooo.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Where would you like to begin 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
When was the last time you smoked crack? 
 
Beat.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
I never smoked Crack, I smoked Meth.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Oh, we have to change that to Crack for the movie.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
But that’s not 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
You have to be a Crack head. Black folks don’t smoke Meth.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Uh... Well actually...  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Black folks in Movies don’t smoke Meth. Black folks in movies smoke Weed. And 
Crack.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
... Ok.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
So... when was the last time you smoked Crack?  

14
  
Beat.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
As I wrote in my memoir, there were a couple of relapses but for the most part I don’t 
happen to smoke “crack” anymore.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
“For the most part”  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
For the most part, yes.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Why is that?  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Well, because “Crack”, is highly addictive.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
And?  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
And I usually sell all my shit and run around half naked when I’m on it.  
 
Beat. 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
...That never stopped you before.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
I know.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
What exactly is stopping you now?  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
...Well in my memoirs I write about 
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Fuck your memoirs.  
 

15
  
WHITE BARBARA.  
Fuck my memoirs?  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
Fuck your memoirs. I have to embody the truth of the character and not simply what 
you’ve put in some book.  
 
WHITE BARBARA. 
Its not “some” book. Its my life story.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
I’m more interested in what’s not in your “life story”.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
But you’re buying the rights to my memoirs.  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
I don’t buy rights, darling.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Then who does?  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
The Studio is considering buying your life rights.  
 
WHITE BARBARA.  
Considering ...Oh...  
 
BLACK MOVIE STAR BARBARA.  
And the Studio has flown me here on the company jet in order for You to convince 
Me that I should star in this movie as You. A Crack Head Alcoholic Ho. 

16