•

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

by
Judd Apatow & Jake Kasdan

First Draft
6/2/06

•
 OVER BLACK, we HEAR the sound of a huge crowd applauding. As
it BUILDS into a frenzy of cheering and stomping--
CARD - "VERY IMPORTANT FILMS PRESENTS"
A SECOND CARD APPEARS-- "WALK HARD-- THE DEWEY COX STORY"
INT. BACKSTAGE AREA - NIGHT
We reveal DEWEY cox, a tall hulking man in his late sixties.
He is a combination of Johnny Cash, George Jones, and Waylon
Jennings-- an aging badass who has seen it all.
Guitar over his shoulder, he leans against a wall in a tragic
pose, as though reliving the pain from some awful memory.
THE STAGE MANAGER approaches--
STAGE MANAGER
Mr. Cox ••• ?
SAM, Dewey's life-long drummer, stops the Stage Manager--
SAM
Give him a minute, son. Dewey Cox
needs to think about his entire

• life before he plays •

TIGHT ON DEWEY-- thinking, remembering, reliving •..
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. FARM COUNTRY - MID-1940'S - DUSK
Corn fields swaying in the gentle wind and the golden sun.
CARD-- "Springberry, Alabama-- 1944"
INT. FARM HOUSE - DAY
Nine year-old NATE sits at a piano, playing a concerto. The
kid is amazing.
In the corner, six year-old DEWEY watches, waiting patiently.
Nate gets to the end of the piece.
DEWEY
Come on, Nate! Let's go play!
NATE

•
I can't Dewey. I have to practice •
 2•

• PA COX appears in the doorway-- a very strict farmer type

(played by an actor in his late-sixties, who is right now
wearing a wig to portray the 30 year-old version of himself)--
PA COX
You can't practice all the time,
Nate. Go out and play with your
brother. Be careful.
NATE
Alright. Come on, Dewey, let's go
play.
DEWEY
Today is gonna be the best day
ever!
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
Nate and Dewey both hold sticks as they walk and skip down
the road.
NATE
What do you want to be when you
grow up, Dewey?

• DEWEY
I don't know. Never really thunk
about it before.
NATE
When I grow up, I'm gonna be a
concert pee-anist and a
professional baseball player. And
then I'm gonna be an astronaut and
I am gonna go to the moon.
DEWEY
Ain't nobody ever gonna step on no
moon.
NATE
I will. And afterwards, I am gonna
be the President of these United
States. There's nothing I won't do
in this long, long life of mine.
DEWEY
Maybe I'll learn me some pee-ana,
too. Then we can be pee-ana playin'

•
brothers .
 3.

NATE
That's what's great about being
young. There's so much time to do
great things.
DEWEY
We gonna be alive for sixty or
seventy years, you and me!
NATE
Enough of this yappin'l Let's go
jump across the river!
They run off.
EXT. STREAM - DAY
Nate and Dewey stand at the shore of a fast moving, scary-
looking stream.
NATE
I bet I can grab that there vine
and fly all the way over this here
stream.
DEWEY
I dare you.
NATE
Alright then, since you dared me.
Nate takes a long run, GRABS the vine, and FLIES over the
stream--
NATE
Ha-ha! I did it.
DEWEY
My turn! My turn!
INT. SHED - DAY
Nate and Dewey stand in front of a radial arm saw. Nate
holds a piece of wood.
NATE
Hey, check out how good I am
cutting up this wood.
DEWEY
Make me something real nice.
 4.

Nate takes the wood and puts it on the machine and starts
cutting it. His shirt gets closer and closer to the blade--
it seems he's about to get sucked into this machine.
He cuts and shapes furiously, then holds up what he has made.
It is a beautiful goose.
DEWEY
That is one fine goose! I'm gonna
hang it in my room.
QUICK SHOTS OF THEM PLAYING--
*Nate runs from a bull and leaps over the fence at the last
minute.
*Dewey drives a huge tractor, as fast as it will go, barely
in control--- chasing Nate, who is galloping on a horse, all-
out. Nate shows off-- "No hands!"
*Nate catches a rattlesnake by hand and tosses it at Dewey,
who runs off--
DEWEY
Nate, you' one crazy fourth grader.
NATE
Let's go play "Machete Fight"!
EXT. SHED - DAY

Nate emerges from a shed, carrying two sheathed machetes. He

tosses one to Dewey--
NATE
(weird British accent)
I challenge you to a duel, Sir!
DEWEY
Ssshh! ! ! You know how mad Daddy
gets when we play with his
machetes. You don't quiet down,
you'll get us both a whoopin'!
NATE
On guard!
Dewey can't resist-- they start to play sword fight with the
enormous leather wrapped machetes, very theatrical. Nate
backs Dewey to the ground--
NATE
Do you yeild, sir?
 s•

• Never!
DEWEY

He "fights back", bumping machetes. Dewey backs Nate down--

DEWEY
Prepare to meet your maker!
He takes the machete back for the "death blow" and as he
does, he fails to notice the sheath slide off entirely. He
swings at Nate-- AND CUTS HIM IN HALF.
Nate's torso SLIDES directly off his legs-- a ridiculous
ef feet-- and he stares up at Dewey as they both reali_ze
what's just happened--
DEWEY
Nate!
NATE
Dewey! I'm ••• I'm •.• I'm halved!
Dewey realizes--
DEWEY

• We should'a listened to Pa •
NATE
Dewey, in case I don't make it,
then ••• you're just gonna have to
be doubly great, for the both of
us.

DEWEY
That's a lot of pressure, Nate.
NATE
You can handle it, Dewey. Now, run!
Get Pa!
INT. COX HOUSE - NIGHT
The Cox family-- MA COX, PA COX, and the seven Cox SIBLINGS--
all pray together in the living room.
The DOCTOR emerges from a different room, very somber--
DOCTOR
He's gone.

•
They all SHRIEK in anguish--
 6•

• can do!
PA COX
Doc, there must me something you

DOCTOR
I couldn't reattach the top half of
his body to the bottom half of his
body. Medicine just ain't gotten
modern enough for that yet. I'm
sorry, folks.
Everyone WAILS. PA COX yells at Dewey--
PA COX
This is all your fault, Dewey Cox!
Ma comes to his defense--
MA COX
Pa, you don't mean that! It's not
his fault!
PA COX
He cut him in half with a machete!
(to Dewey)
You were his brother! You were
supposed to look out for each
other! Nate was an angel! He was
gonna be President one day, and
many other things, as well! You--
you're not half the boy that Nate
was. You're not even half the boy
that the top half of Nate was,
after you cut him in half!
DEWEY
You sayin' I'm less than a quarter
of the boy Nate was?
PA COX
That's what I'm sayin!
PA pulls the table cloth off the table and drapes it over
Nate's piano--
PA COX
From now on, there will be no more
music in this house. And there will
be no joy or happiness. Or anything
good .

• Pa storms out, still raging--

 7•

• PA COX
The wrong kid died!
Ma approaches the devastated Dewey, puts an arm around him--
MA COX
Dewey Cox, run down to the country
store. You pick us up some butter.
And a candle. We gonna light us a
candle tonight.
INT. COUNTRY STORE - DAY
Dewey enters the store and starts looking for the items his
mom requested when he hears the sound of a guitar. He walks
around a corner and sees a very, very OLD AFRICAN-AMERICAN
MAN playing blues guitar. (This old man should actually be
played by a one hundred year old actor.)
Dewey is hypnotized by the music. Slowly, he approaches the
old man--
DEWEY
I ain't never heard no music like
that, before. It's so .•. sad.
OLD MAN
That's why it's called "the blues",
boy.
DEWEY
I think I'd like to play me some
blues.
The old man chuckles--
OLD MAN
Ain't no six year old boy
understands the true meaning of the
blues.
DEWEY
(earnest)
I reckon I might.
OLD MAN
You play the guitar?
DEWEY
I never have before. But I'm a real

•
fast learner •
 8•

• OLD MAN
Well, go ahead •..
- He offers Dewey his guitar-- which is way too big for a six-
year old. The old man places Dewey's fingers on the neck--
OLD MAN
Now hit the strings with your other
hand. That's a G.
Dewey hits the chord-- it sounds bad. He hits it again-- this
time it's perfect.
OLD MAN
There you go.
Dewey starts strumming. Then ridiculously quickly he starts
playing a perfect 12-bar blues--
DEWEY
Like this?
The old man is spooked--
OLD MAN
Yeah. Like that ...
Then young Dewey starts to sing-- except he has the voice of
a 70 year old black man (actually some old guy's voice).
Preposterously soulful--
DEWEY
"I done a bad thing/ Done gone and
cut my brother in half •..
The old man shakes his head, feeling it, adding "mm-hrns"
periodically. Dewey gets lost in it--
DEWEY
"Yeah, I done a bad, bad thing/
Done gone and cut my big brother in
half/ My mama gon' cry all night
long/ And somewhere the Devil, he's
havin' a laugh"
Dewey opens his eyes and spots--
-- Nate, standing on the other side of the room--- a vision.
They lock eyes and nod at each other earnestly.
 9.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT

The school talent show, in the gym/auditorium. Folding chairs

face a stage at the end of the basketball court.
Dewey's parents find seats.
PA COX
I don't even know what we're doing
here, at this high school talent
show.
MA COX
We're here to see our boy, that's
what we're doing here. Now you sit
yourself down. I'll be right
back •••
INT. BACK STAGE - SAME

Ma wanders among the TEENAGERS preparing-- a GIRL practices

her juggling, a BOY practices his violin-- then she spots--
MA COX
Dewey!

• Dewey turn to her-- already being played by the actor who

will play him as an adult, except he's wearing a wig. A big
acoustic/electric guitar hangs from his shoulder.
DEWEY
Ma, you made it!
MA COX
There's my favorite 14 year old
son!
She has to raise up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek, which
embarrasses him--
DEWEY
Ma .•. Corne on! There's people
around ...
MA COX
Howdy, boys.
Dewey's BAND (who are actual teenagers) snicker, reply--
BAND
Hi./Howdy, Mrs. Cox.
 10.

MA COX
I just wanted to say break a leg. I
know you boys are gonna play a real
good song.
DEWEY
Thanks, Ma. I'm so lucky to have at
least one parent who loves me and
supports my dream.
MA COX.
You just go out there and sing your
heart out now, ya' hear?
DEWEY
Yes, mama.
She walks away, Dewey turns back to the band--
DEWEY
Alright, let's just go over that
bridge section one more time •••
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - MOMENTS LATER

• Ma returns to her seat, where Pa is inexplicably fuming

angry. As she makes her way down the row to their seats, she
suddenly gets a little dizzy, seems she might pass out--

Ma!
PA COX

He grabs her and helps her to her seat. Those around her are
concerned. She touches her head--
MAN
You alright, ma'am?
MA COX
I'm fine •.. It's just my vertigo
acting up again.
MAN
"Vertigo" ••• ?
PA COX
It's an inner-ear disorder that
causes her to lose her balance.
MA COX

•
It's nothin' serious. Don't pay me
no bother.
(MORE)
 11.

MA cox (cont'd)

•
It's just a little dizziness. Ain't
nothin' terrible ever came of no
dizziness.
The lights go down. Ma claps, Pa fumes--
The MC-- a very square '50s school teacher-- takes the stage--
MC
Welcome to the annual talent show,
folks! We're so glad you could make
it!
PA COX
"Talent", my ass. Nate was the only
Cox who had talent. We're farmers.
We're real men •.•
MA COX
Now, you hush.
PA COX
The wrong kid died, goddammit ...
MA COX
Sshhhh!
MC
Now, let's get the evening started
with the juggling talents of Amber
McGraw!
Amber juggles her way out on to the stage ...
INT. BACK STAGE - LATER
The show is in progress.
Dewey and his band watch from the wings as a very mediocre
TAP DANCER finishes her routine. The crowd goes crazy. Dewey
is intimidated, turns to his DRUMMER--
DEWEY
How are we supposed to follow that?
ON STAGE--

MC
Let's have a big hand for Delilah
Johnson!
The audience WHOOPS it up again.
 12 .

• MC
And now, sophomore Dewey Cox is
going to sing us a song. Ladies and
germs •••
(laughs at own joke)
.•• please welcome, Dewey Cox and
the Dewey Cox Four!
The band takes the stage. Dewey stands at the mic. He looks
out at the crowd, who wait in judgemental silence. He scans
the faces-- half stern-looking ADULTS, half high school KIDS.
It's a scary moment for him. He summons his courage--
DEWEY
I'm Dewey Cox. Here's a little song
I wrote. It's called "Take My
Hand".
And they start the song. It's a very sweet, simple 4-4 early
rock song-- in the vein of "That'll be the Day" or "Dream,
Dream, Dream". About holding hands with a girl for the first
time and walking in the park and looking at the moon ... A
little love song with a very gentle beat-- really, really
innocuous.
At first, the audience stares at them-- a bunch of "what the
hell is this?" cut-aways. They've never heard anything like
this before. Shocked by the rocking.
In the front row, a girl catches Dewey's eye and they
exchange smitten looks-- this is EDITH, and we immediately
get that she is going to be significant to Dewey.
Then-- the KIDS start to.stand up and DANCE.
Simultaneously, the adults start to BOO-- disgusted,
offended.
The kids' dancing gets more intense-- they love this rock
music and they are instantly doing The Twist.
Dewey bops away on stage, Buddy Holly-esque, dancing with
only his bobbing head as he plays his guitar--
DEWEY
(singing)
"Take my hand and we'll walk
through the park/ Don't worry,
we'll be home by dark ••• "
The adults start to THROW THINGS at the stage.
 13 •

• Pa stands and leaves-- Ma tries to stop him, but then lets

him go, proud of her boy.
A couple of KIDS segue into a really raunchy bump-and-grind,
Josephine Baker kind of dance, basically dry-humping each
other.
DEWEY
"We'll laugh at all the
funny things you say/
Take my hand, let me lead
the way ••• "
A PREACHER stands up--
PREACHER
It's the Devil's music!!!
A KID standing near him turns and PUNCHES him in the face.
Now all of the kids are DANCING and MAKING OUT.
And the adults are SCREAMING.
A parent THROWS UP.
FIGHTS are breaking out, all over ...
And as Dewey wraps up the song, the scene devolves into a
full-fledged RIOT ...
EXT. FARM HOUSE - NIGHT
A CROWD has gathered on the front lawn of the Cox household.
On one side, a group of angry PARENTS are gathered, holding
signs, screaming, carrying TORCHES. The Preacher holds an ice
pack to his face where he was punched--
PREACHER
We will not have the Devil's spawn
living amongst us!
PARENTS
Amen!
On the other side of the lawn, separated by COPS, are a bunch
of TEENAGERS, looking like "greasers". In one song, Dewey has
transformed these sweet preppy kids into rebels without
causes. They CHANT--
TEENAGERS
Dew-ey! Dew-ey! Dew-ey!
 14 •

• In a window, Dewey appears from behind a curtain, waves at

the kids, who all SCREAM when they see him--
INT. FARM HOUSE - SAME
--Dewey turns back to his assembled family, satisfied.
Dewey's 10 year-old SISTER chimes in--
SISTER
That there Rock n' Roll music
brings out some strong feelings in
folks.
DEWEY
I'm just playin' the music I hear
in my head, is all.
He moves to Edith-- the girl from the front row-- and puts
his arm around her.
Pa enters--
PA COX
That's it! I want you out of this

•
house, boy'!

MA COX
Pa!
PA COX
This boy done gone raised his'self
a ruckus! You heard the Preacher--
I ain't gonna have no Devil's spawn
in my home!
MA COX
Pa, you watch your mouth, now, ya
here?! 'Fore you go and say
somethin' you gon' regret for the
rest of your days •••
DEWEY
It's okay, Mama! Settle down •••
The room gets quiet.
DEWEY
Pa's right. Springberry ain't big
enough for me, no more. I reckon
it's time for Dewey Cox to move

• , along .
 15.

MA COX
But where's Dewey Cox gon' go?!
DEWEY
It's time for Dewey Cox to head for
the Big City.
MA COX
But you're only 14! You ain't ready
for the pressures of no Big city.
DEWEY
I may be just a tender 14 ... but I
got big dreams. An' I reckon
destiny's a'callin'.
MA COX
(tears up)
Where's it a'callin' you to, son?
DEWEY
To the Big City. I thought I said
that already.
Edith starts to cry--
EDITH
Don't go, Dewey!
DEWEY
Come with me, Edith.
EDITH
Dewey, I... I •••
DEWEY·
I know we just met a half an hour
ago. But I love you more than I've
ever loved anyone. Come with me to
the Big City. What do you say?
EDITH
I say, yes!
They hug--
EDITH
I will always support you, Dewey.
Forever.
Ma approaches, looks him dead in the eyes--
 16 •

• MA COX
Don't matter what these people say.
You got a gift from the Lord, boy.
And don't you never forget it.
Off his stoic close-up, DISSOLVE TO--
INT. NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
An entirely black jazz/blues club, filled with PEOPLE dancing
in an outrageously erotic way. It is way too choreographed
and the people on the dance floor dance in a .fashion that is
so hot that it is hard to watch (in that slightly racist way
that these movies so often depict African American.
nightlife).
Dewey, in dirty kitchen whites, holds a mop, as he watches
from the kitchen--
--the HOUSE BAND playing on stage. Bobby Shad and the Bad
Men. BOBBY SHAD, the lead singer and lead guitarist is quite
cocky, but doesn't quite have the talent to back it up. The
band finishes their number--
BOBBY SHAD
We gonna take a short break, then
we gonna come back and play until
the morning light!
The band exits the stage, walking past Dewey, who trails
after them--
DEWEY
Wow, that was really great! Mr.
Shad, I'd love to one day get a
chance to play with you and your
band. I play a little guitar
myself, so if you ever need an
extra guitar player, maybe I
could •••
Bobby Shad pauses in the doorway of the dressing room--
BOBBY SHAD
Come to think of it, Dewey, there
is something I need.
DEWEY
Yes, Mr. Shad. Anything •

•
 17 .

• BOBBY SHAD
The toilet backstage is
overflowing. Can you get that thing
cleaned up?
He closes the door in Dewey's face; Dewey is frustrated. The
MANAGER has overheard this--
MANAGER
Dewey, you're here to wash the
dishes, not to bother the band.
The only instrument you' gonna play
in here is that mop. Now, you go do
your job or I'll find someone who
will.
Dewey heads off, dejected.
INT. RATTY APARTMENT - DAY
Dewey is practicing his guitar in the living room. From the
kitchen--
EDITH (O.S.)
Will you cut out that racket! I am

• trying to feed your child!

INT. KITCHEN - SAME

Edith (who now looks like a square 1950s housewife) is

feeding their BABY. The baby CRIES and has a ridiculous
amount of food on her face and clothes.
Dewey enters, wearing his guitar over his shoulder and
carrying his mop from work.
DEWEY
How am I gonna make it as a famous
musician if I don't practice?
EDITH
Dewey Cox, you gotta get your head
out of the clouds.
DEWEY
But it's my dream! I love music.
It's all I hear in my head, day and
night. Music that could change the
world! I just want to play my music
for folks. If only I could get the

•
chance ••.
She stands up, very melodramatic--
 18 .

• EDITH
Stop talking about music!
(settles down)
Now, Daddy said, if we go home,
he'd give you a job at the
slaughter house. You could make an
honest living for yourself and your
family. Wouldn't have to walk
around in shame, carrying no mop.
Hanging your head, like some kind
of failure •..
DEWEY
I think I'm doing okay for a 15
year old with a wife and a baby!
She moves to him,. touching his face, pleading--
EDITH
After all, why would you want to
waste your time playing music when
you could be working at the
slaughterhouse for Daddy?
DEWEY

• I want more than that.

She pulls away--
EDITH
You' saying that you're better than
my daddy?!
DEWEY
No, but I can't give up! Music is
my only shot at making a better
life for you and our child.
EDITH
The music don't pay for nothing!
It's dangerous, this dream of
yours. You're playing with our
lives, even thinking about "music"!
Every time you pick up that guitar
to practice, you're taking your
daughter's life in your hands!
Dewey is hurt.
EDITH

•
Give up your dream, Dewey. Dreams
don't come true.
 19.

DEWEY
I am gonna make this dream come
true! Nobody ever said it was gonna
be easy! It's hard. It's always
hard! It's not easy to walk to the
top of a mountain. It's a long,
hard walk! Getting to the top is a
hard walk, but I plan on walking •••
Hard. Right to the top. I will walk
hard.
He hears himself say this •.. SUPER-PUSH on Dewey, as he has
the greatest idea for a song that he has ever had--
DEWEY
Walk. Hard.
INT. APARTMENT - BASEMENT - LATER
Dewey is strumming a guitar, pen and pencil in front of him--
DEWEY
Walk Hard-- when they say it can't
be done •..
(writes it down)
Walk Hard-- when they say you're
not the one •••
(he tries to figure out a
chord)
It's a long, long road/ It's a
hard, hard walk/ So Walk Hard •••
INT. NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
Dewey is mopping the floor by the kitchen. There is a
commotion by the stage in the empty club, Dewey gravitates
that way--
MANAGER
I'm gonna have a full house tonight
and if Bobby Shad can't play then I
need to find someone who will.
BOBBY SHAD
(very hoarse)
I'm fine. I'll play through the
pain.
He holds up his hands, which are bruised and enormous.
 20 •

• MANAGER
No, you won't. Maybe you should
have thought about this before you
punched your landlord, while you
had the laryngitis.
The DRUMMER speaks up--
DRUMMER
Well, I don't know of any band
leaders who can be here in the next
fifteen minutes.
BASS PLAYER
Maybe there's just no music
tonight, Boss.
MANAGER
Bullhickey! People come here to
dance. I ain't got no music, I
ain't got no nightclub!
A tense moment. Then--
DEWEY ( 0 • S • )

• 'Scuse me •••
They all turn to Dewey--
DEWEY
I play a little.
They all consider this-- there doesn't seem to be any other
option •••
INT. CLUB - LATER
The club is packed.
BACKSTAGE--

Dewey practices scales. The band watches, concerned, waiting

to take the stage. The manager walks over--
MANAGER
I don't mean to put more pressure
on the boy, but "the suits" from
the record company are here.
ANGLE ON-- A table of HASIDIC JEWS .

• MANAGER
Have a good show, boys.
 21.

The band looks nervous, then takes the stage. Dewey stands in
front of the microphone and stwnbles, adjusting it for way
too long--
DEWEY
Good evening, ladies and gentleman.
We are Bobby Shad and the Bad Men.
Bobby Shad isn't here tonight
because he broke eight fingers on
his landlord's face and he has the
laryngitis. So, I hope I'll do for
tonight.
HECKLER
Get off the stage, white boy!
HECKLER #2
You ain't ready for the big time.
DEWEY
Let's find out.
They start into one of the band's songs-- Dewey is amazing.
He sings like Slim Whitman and plays the guitar like Jango

•
Reinhardt .
The Hasidic Jews watch, exchange looks-- this kid has
something.
INT. CLUB - AFTER THE SHOW
The band is talking to the Hasidic Jews, who focus on Dewey.
L'CHAI'M seems to be in charge--
L'CHAI'M
I like what you did out there
tonight. Have you ever done any
recording?
DEWEY
No, sir, Mr. L'chai'm •.•
Bobby Shad runs up in a huff--
BOBBY SHAD
He's not the one you want! It's me
you came to see!
L'CHAI'M
(shrugs, indicates Dewey)

•
I think he's the one we want. He's
got a nice thing.
(MORE)
 22.

L'CHAI'M (cont'd)

•
I think he might have what it takes
to make it in the big time.
HASIDIC 2
(skeptical)
This schmendrick? I'm not buying
this thing you're saying .•.
L'CHAI'M
What?! He's got a thing, I'm
saying •.•
DEWEY
Oh, Mr. L'Chai'm .•. all I want is
to make a record, like Elvis. Just
gimme a chance to show you what I
got ••• in a big ol' professional
studio.
HASIDIC
Come see us. We'll see what you can
do.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY

•
A Sun Records-type of recording studio. The PRODUCER (a Sam
Phillips type) and the Hasidic Jews watch from the booth as--
--Dewey and the Bad Men (who are now his band) play "Moon
River" or something like it-- but it's really slow and pretty
lame.
The Hasidic Jews are disappointed.
PRODUCER
Stop, stop, stop.
The band stops playing.
PRODUCER
Thank you. I've think we've heard
enough.
DEWEY
But ••• you didn't even let us get
to the bridge •••
PRODUCER
I'm sorry, kid, but it's not wowing
me. And we need to be wowed, if
we're gonna make a record. We need
to be hearing somethin' we never
heard before. And this ••• we've
heard it.
(MORE)
 23.

PRODUCER (cont'd)

•
And worse than that-- it's not
really you. You're singing the
words, but I'm not believing them.
Where's the real Dewey Cox?!
Dewey is stung, quietly--
DEWEY
You want to hear the real Dewey
Cox?
PRODUCER
I'm not sure there is a real Dewey
Cox to hear.
DEWEY
Oh, there's a Dewey Cox, sir.
There's a Dewey Cox.
PRODUCER
You got any songs of your own?
DEWEY
I got a couple.
The producer looks to the Jews-~

• L'CHAI'M
We're here ••• What can it hurt?
The producer is skeptical--
PRODUCER
Okay ••• You can play one more song.
But I want you to sing like your
life depends on it. I want to feel
it in my knees and in my stomach
and everywhere in between. I want
to be quivering with emotion, just
from the raw power of your singin'.
DEWEY
(solemn)
I'll give it a shot.
Dewey starts to strum. The BASS PLAYER whispers--
BASS PLAYER
Dewey, we don't know this song •••
DEWEY

•
Just follow me •..
 24 •

• And he starts singing-- "Walk Hard". It is ridiculously

emotional. He croons and wails.
The band picks it up immediately-- complete with backing "doo-
wop" vocal harmonies.
Everyone exchanges looks, struck by the raw power of Dewey's
performance.
Now he has tears streaming down his face. He could not mean
it more. His band is crying.
And the Jews are crying.
The producer listens, concentrating ••• then suddenly, starts
QUIVERING, spastically-- having a religious experience.
The Jews nod to each other, then to the producer, who nods
back, still quivering •••
BEGIN MONTAGE-- to the finished song.
INT. DJ'S BOOTH - DAY

•
INSERT-- a record placed on a turntable •
A very enthusiastic DJ, into his mic--
DJ
Hot off the presses, here's a brand
new song from a youngster named
Dewey Cox!
INT. DINER - DAY
As the song plays over the radio, a KID notices--
KID
Hey, turn it up, pops!
The COUNTER MAN turns up the radio. Immediately, all of the
TEENAGERS stand and start dancing in the diner.
EXT. DEWEY'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
Dewey steps outside, mop in hand, on his way ·to work and is
instantly SWARMED by TEENAGERS--
DEWEY
What the ...

•
 25.

TEENAGER
They're playing your song for the
first time!

INT. DJ'S BOOTH - DAY

A DIFFERENT DJ spins the record--
DJ 2 .
That's "Walk Hard" by Dewey Cox,
soaring up the charts to number
7 •••

INSERT--
"The Chart"-- as "Walk Hard" climbs from 7 to 3 ...
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
The PRESS snap photos as the Jews hand Dewey the keys to his
brand new Mustang. Dewey takes the keys and GRINS at the
cameras-- then is immediately SWARMED again.
INSERT--

• The chart-- "Walk Hard" reaches #1!

INT. DEWEY'S NEW HOUSE - DAY

The Jews show Dewey and a very pregnant Edith around their
new enormous ranch house.
INT. FARM HOUSE - NIGHT

Back home, Dewey's parents listen to their radio. Ma is

ecstatically excited, Pa is angry.·
MA COX
That's my boy!
Ma gets up and starts DANCING along--
PA COX
You be careful, now ••• with your
vertigo.
MA COX
Hush now, Pa! Ain't nothin' wrong
with a little boogie •.•
As she says this, she looses her balance and FALLS OVER.
 26 •

• INT. DELIVERY ROOM - DAY

Edith is GIVING BIRTH. A DOCTOR pulls a newborn BABY from
Edith's body, hands it to Dewey. Then-- the Doctor pulls
another BABY out of Edith, and hands this one to DEWEY also--
DEWEY
Twins?! Thank you, Lord!
The Doctor pulls a third CHILD from--
DEWEY
Triplets!
Dewey tries to hold all three new babies, which is not easy.
Then a bunch of NURSES run in--
NURSE
Dewey Cox?!
--and SWARM him.
INT. DEWEY'S NEW HOUSE - NIGHT
Edith and the several babies sit on the couch, covering their

• eyes. Dewey enters, carrying-- a Chimpanzee~

Okay!
DEWEY

Edith sees and gets really excited--

EDITH
A monkey!
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

At the dinner table-- Dewey, Edith, four babies and the chimp
are all laughing together, having a great time. Life is good.
Then-- a giraffe sticks it's head through the open window.
Dewey feeds it a grape off the diner table.
END MONTAGE.
INT. DEWEY'S BEDROOM - DAY

As Dewey packs his bag, Edith holds the triplets, upset--

DEWEY

•
••• it'll just be for a few weeks •
 27.

EDITH
Who's gonna help me take care of
these children?
DEWEY
Your mama said she'd help out and
we can get baby sitters, if we need
to.
EDITH
You gonna let some baby sitter be a
father to your four infants?
DEWEY
This is my job now, baby! I'm
playing music for people who want
to hear me! This is all I've ever
wanted!
She looses it--
EDITH
What about your family?! Look, what
our life has become! I never see
you, the kids never see you ••.

• DEWEY
I've only been popular for two
months!
EDITH
You missed their Christening!
DEWEY
I had a gig! I made us three
hundred dollars that night. How
else we gon' pay for all this?!
Aren't you happy with your new
house and your fancy clothes and
your monkey and your giraffe?!
EDITH
They took the giraffe away! Said it
was illegal to have in a private
home or some such nonsense •••
DEWEY
Then I'll get you a llama! Or •••
there's this certain kind of half-
dog/ half-wolf that people say
makes a good exotic pet •..
 28.

EDITH
This ain't about no exotic pets!
She runs to the bathroom and SLAMS the door. The babies CRY.
DEWEY
Edith!
He POUNDS on the door--
DEWEY
Come on, baby! Come out of the
bathroom •••
INTERCUT:

INT. BATHROOM - SAME

Edith leans against the door, crying--

EDITH
Mama says there's a lot of evil out
there, on the road. Temptations.
Make a man do evil things.

• (laughs)
DEWEY

Edith! That's ridiculous! There

ain't no evil, out there. I'm just
gon' be singing my songs for folks.
That's all.
She considers this, but doesn't come out.
DEWEY
Edith, baby ••• you know how much I
love you. I would never do nothin'
that might hurt this perfect life
we got. You and this here fast-
growing family of ours is the only
thing that matters to me. I mean, a
life without you ... would be no
life at all.
Another light bulb moment--
DEWEY
"Life without you ...
(he starts singing in
falsetto)
••• is no life ••• at aaaallllll!"
 29 •

• INT. THEATER - NIGHT

A lively CROWD twists along to-- Chuck Berry, who's on stage,

playing "Johnny B Good".
INT. BACK STAGE - SAME

Dewey and the band watch from the wings, awed by Chuck's
showmanship and guitar playing.
DEWEY
How we supposed to follow that?
MAN (OS)
Don't worry, Dewey •••
He turns to-- BUDDY HOLLY (Frankie Munitz cameo).

BUDDY
••• you'll do great.
DEWEY
Thanks, Buddy Holly.
BUDDY

• And if you don't, me and the

Crickets'll pick it right back up.
You got nothing to worry about.

The STAGE MANAGER approaches--

STAGE MANAGER
Okay, boys-- change of plans. Elvis
wants to get out of here early
tonight. He's hungry. And his
favorite steak house closes at
nine. So here's the new order--
when Chuck finishes, Buddy'll go on
next, then Elvis-- then you, Dewey.
DEWEY
(playing it cool)
Okay ... So it's Buddy Holly, then
Elvis ... then me.
STAGE MANAGER
Just for tonight.
DEWEY
Okay. I'm just happy to be here .

•
 30 .

• EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT

Dewey is CRYING in the alley, terrified--
DEWEY
I ain't good enough to follow
Elvis .••
CHILD'S VOICE (O.S.)
What you talking about, Dewey?
Dewey turns to the voice--
-.,....it's "a vision" of his brother Nate.
DEWEY
I ain't ready, Nate.
NATE
I thought you was gonna be double
great, for the both of us.
DEWEY
I'm trying, Nate. But hell, ain't
nobody can follow Elvis •••

• You can.
NATE

DEWEY
You really think so?
NATE
I know so. This is our dream,
Dewey. I guess dreams come do true.
Dewey stands up straighter, gathering the strength--
DEWEY
Yes, they do.
NATE
You go out there and play-- and
I'll be there on stage with you.
Dewey nods, growing determined--
DEWEY
It might be better if you donit
actually go out on stage with me.
NATE
Huh?
 31.

• little.
DEWEY
Just ..• this freaks me out, a

NATE
Okay. Point taken.
STAGE MANAGER
Dewey!
Dewey turns to him--
STAGE MANAGER
The big guy's on his final encore.
You're on in five.
Dewey stares ahead, stoic •••
INT. BACK STAGE - MOMENTS LATER
Dewey heads for the stage, passes a sweaty ELVIS (another
teen star cameo)--
ELVIS

•
I got 'em good and riled for you,
Dewey.
DEWEY
Thanks, Elvis Presley.
ELVIS
(to his band)
Come on, boys, let's go find us
some ladies and get us some meat!
Dewey watches them walk off--
DEWEY
I wonder how Mrs. Presley would
feel about that.
INT. STAGE - SAME
Dewey and his band (complete with three pretty BACK UP
SINGERS) assume the stage. Dewey steps to the mic, stares out
at the crowd who once again stare back, very judgemental--
DEWEY
Good evening. I'm Dewey cox. Looks
like I got myself one skeptical

•
audience •
They stare back at him.
 32 •

• DEWEY
This is a song I wrote for a very
special lady.
He starts into "A Life Without You Is No Life At All"-- an
enormous, soaring Roy Orbison-esque love ballad. A heart-on-
sleeve confessional about his deep love for his wife.
The audience is immediately transfixed. The WOMEN start to
SWOON, visibly.
Dewey sings his heart out, then-- an impossibly large single
tear runs down his face, glistening in the stage lights.
He gets to the chorus (which contains the title)-- women
start spontaneously FAINTING.
He "makes eyes" with his pretty back-up singer BETH ANNE, who
flirts back, smitten.
Girls in the audience start to STORM the stage, needing to
touch Dewey as he wails his heart out-- women literally
hanging from him, pulling his clothes off, pulling their own
clothes off, in a Caligula-esque tableau, until he is

•
eventually overcome and swallowed, drowned in a sea of women •
INT. BACK STAGE - LATER

Dewey confers with his band, face covered in lipstick, his

clothes shredded, as though by animals.
BASS PLAYER
The fillies love ya, Dewey.
DEWEY
If I weren't a married man, with a
good head on my shoulders ..• golly,
I don't know what I'd do.
BASS PLAYER
You're a more righteous man than I,
Dewey Cox.
DEWEY
What can I say? I walk the Lord's
straight and narrow path. And I
walk it hard.
INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

•
Dewey approaches the men's room, opens the door, freezes--
 33 •

• --in a cloud of smoke, a small illicit GROUP has congregated

in the bathroom. Drug use. Sam (Dewey's life-long drummer
from the opening) gives him the paranoid eye.
DEWEY
Whacha guys doing in here?
SAM
Get out of here, Dewey!
DEWEY
What's that smell?
SAM
It's called reefer! And you don't
want no part of this shit!
DEWEY
Really?
A slutty GROUPIE pipes up--
GROUPIE
Come on, Dewey! Join the party!

• here •••
SAM
You don't want it! Get outta

DEWEY
I think I kind of want it.
Sam considers--
SAM
Okay •.• just this once. Now get in
here and close that door. Quick!
Dewey enters. The Groupie gives him a salacious look--
DEWEY
Howdy, ma' am.
Sam hands him a joint--
DEWEY
I just breath it in, like so?
SAM
That's right •••

• Dewey takes a hit, immediately starts coughing •••

 34.

GROUPIE
You gotta hold it in there •••
(she demonstrates)
... like this.
She semi-kisses him, blowing the smoke into his mouth.
Stunned by the sexiness of this, Dewey takes back the joint
and takes another hit. And this time it works. A shock to the
system .•• his eyelids flutter ••• he EXHALES ••. then-- he
SMILES, a WILD LOOK in his eyes.
Begin MONTAGE-- to a song called "My Friend J" (a "Dewey hit"
with a very thin pot metaphor)--
EXT. THEATER - NIGHT
A stoned Dewey saunters to the bus, carrying his guitar. A
FLOCK of groupies SCREAMS-- he waves back, they ERUPT.
Dewey spots Beth Anne (the back-up singer who was flirting
with him on stage) carrying too much stuff, she fumbles and
drops her tambourine.

•
DEWEY
Can I get that for you?
They lock eyes-- very lusty. It seems they might jump each
other, right here in the parking lot .•• then--
BETH ANNE
Thanks, Dewey.
CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

The big tour bus drives through the night.

INT. TOUR BUS - NIGHT
Dewey and Beth Anne do something comically obscene, in the
back of the bus.
Across the aisle-- Elvis is doing the same thing with
SOMEONE.

They exchange thumbs up.

Chuck Berry and Buddy Holly play cards, in the front of the
bus.
 35.

INT. BACK STAGE/ ANOTHER THEATER - NIGHT

In a corner, Dewey takes a hit off a joint, likes the
feeling, then heads directly out on stage, greeted by
applause--
DEWEY
Hellooo there!
INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
Dewey and five WOMEN cavort merrily.
EXT. THEATER ALLEY - NIGHT

Dewey is rushed by fans, as he leaves the theater. He smiles,

very stoney, then starts making out with a random GIRL.
EXT. MOTEL - NIGHT

Dewey, stoned, gets off the bus-- out of which pours an

impossible amount of smoke. He spots--
--his beautiful female FIDDLE PLAYER, struggling with her
luggage .

• Their eyes lock-- another loaded moment. Dewey approaches--

DEWEY
Can I get that for you?
INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
PAN OVER-- a fiddle case with a bra hanging over it, PAST
Dewey's guitar, to Dewey's boots-- up to the bed, where Dewey
is having sex with the Fiddle player while smoking weed. He
passes the joint to-- Beth Anne, who is also in bed with
them.
CHILD'S VOICE
Dewey?
Nate is standing in the corner--
DEWEY
Can this wait 'til later, Nate?
NATE
What are you doin', Dewey?
The sex gets more intense--
 36.

DEWEY
Later, Nate! Later!
INT. THEATER - NIGHT
Dewey winds up the song, with an authoritative bit of power
strumming.
END MONTAGE.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY
'Dewey is in bed, on the phone--
DEWEY
The tour's going great, honey.
We're having a real nice time.
EDITH (ON PHONE)
The babies miss you, Dewey.
DEWEY
I miss them. I really do •.•

•
A pair of topless WOMEN pass by in the background •
INTERCUT:
INT. HOME - SAME
Edith holds two babies as she does the dishes; her MOTHER
holds another--
EDITH
When you comin' home, Dewey?
DEWEY
Soon, baby. Real soon. We just
gotta hit the major markets in the
North East, then swing through
Detroit, Chicago, Cleveland and
Milwaukee. Then I'm home.
EDITH
You must be exhausted.
DEWEY
I am. I really am. But it's been a
real good tour.

• Chuck Berry and two more WOMEN pop up from behind the bed,
where they've been "sleeping" on the floor, woken by Dewey's
talking--
 37.

CHUCK BERRY
Quiet down, son!

Everyone SHOOSHES Chuck--

EDITH
Who's that?
DEWEY
(covering)
Um. • • that's just Chuck Berry. He.' s
looking for his .•• guitar pick.
Don't mind him.

EDITH
I feel like there's a distance
growing between us, Dewey. I don't
like it.
REVEAL that there are 20 people in Dewey's room, in various
states of undress--
DEWEY
That's crazy talk, honey. I'll call
you when I get to New Jersey.

EDITH
Okay.
She hangs up, starts to cry. Dewey is unphased. He hangs up,
gets out of bed. A KNOCK at the door, Dewey opens it--
--it's his father (who's very angry, as always).
DEWEY
Pa ...

PA COX
Dewey.
A few girls cover up when they see Pa.
DEWEY
What .•. what are you doing here?
PA COX
It's your mother.
DEWEY
Ma? What about her? Is she okay?!
PA COX
She's dead.
 38.

• Dewey is struck, devastated. Then he remembers that there are

twenty half-dressed people in the room with them, gets self-
conscious--
DEWEY
Maybe we should step out into the
hall.
INT. HALLWAY - SAME

Dewey pulls the door closed behind him--

DEWEY
What happened?
PA COX
I'll tell you what happened.
As he tells the story--
INTERCUT WITH:

INT. FARM HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Pa sits in bed, very angry. Ma sits next to him, knitting •

• PA COX (V .O.)
We were readying for bed •.. when
your song comes on the radio.
Ma jumps up, to turn up the radio, proud.
PA COX (V.O.)
And your mother starts dancing
around-- like she took to <loin',
these days.
As described, she's dancing like crazy. A couple of kids
enter, start dancing with her. Pa gets angrier as the dancing
continues--
PA COX (V.O.)
I told her to sit down, mind her
vertigo. But she wouldn't listen.
Ma and the kids dance out into the hallway near the top of
the stairs, having fun.

PA COX (V .O.)
Last thing I heard her say was,
"I'm so proud of our Dewey!"
 39 .

• She dances wildly, THEN-- she gets dizzy and falls head first
over the railing, out of frame.
PA COX (V .O.)
Then she got dizzy and fell over.
the banister, to meet her maker.
BACK TO:

INT. HALLWAY - SAME

Dewey is stunned--
DEWEY
You're saying she plummeted to her
untimely demise?
PA COX
The vertigo. It won, in the end.
Dewey is horrified, weakly--
DEWEY
While she was dancing to my music?

• PA COX
(full of rage)
I thought you ought to know. You
brought too much joy to her life.
The Coxes ain't built for no joy
and happiness. You made her happy
and it killed her. Before all this
insanity, she stayed sittin' down,
like she belonged. Then ••• You.
Dewey is mortified.
PA COX
If Nate was alive, this never would
have happened.
Pa turns and leaves, over his shoulder--
PA COX
The wrong kid died!
Dewey heads back into--
INT. HOTEL ROOM - SAME
--he's crying. He looks around at everyone looking back at
him, then he moves to the bathroom--
 40 .

• --where Sam and a few other PEOPLE are all doing drugs.
SAM
Get out of here, Dewey!
DEWEY
What're y'all doing?
SAM
It's called cocaine! And you don't
want no part of this shit!
DEWEY
Cocaine? What's it do?
SAM
It wakes you up! Makes you feel
like you got a thousand horses
chargin' through your brain. It
takes all your bad feelings and
turns 'em into good feelings!
DEWEY
(snorts back the tears)
I'm thinking maybe I'd like to try

• me some of that cocaine .

Sam considers .••
INT. THEATER - DAY

Dewey and the band rehearse-- "Walk Hard" at triple tempo. It

sounds like a Ramones cover of the song. Dewey is wired-- and
singing. like Joey Ramone. The band finishes; Dewey considers--
DEWEY
One more time! Faster!
SAM
Dewey, this is crazy! Ain't nobody
gon' wanna hear music like that.
You standin' there, playing as fast
as you can, singin' like some kind
of. .. punk.
DEWEY
(dark)
I 'spose you're right, Sam. I don't
know what I was thinkin'. I guess
it was just the mood I was in. Sort
of •.• nihilistic-like. Like nothing
matters •••
 41.

• SAM
You in pain, Dewey.
Dewey nods back, solemnly.
WOMAN ( 0. S • )
Mr. Cox?
Dewey turns to-- DARLENE, an incredibly sultry woman in a
mini-skirt.
DEWEY
That's me.
DARLENE
Your manager said you're looking
for a new back-up singer. For your
new duet.
Dewey approaches, lust in his eyes, offers his hand--
DEWEY
Dewey Cox.
DARLENE
Darlene Simmons.
They shake hands-- LONG SLOW PUSH-INS-- a ridiculous amount
of chemistry.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Dewey and Darlene are performing their duet, entitled "Let's

Duet" (a meta-duet about "dueting", except that "duet" is
clearly a metaphor for sex). As they sing this slightly goofy
Cash/Carter-style song, the chemistry is palpable-- they
stare at each other lovingly, lustfully ... Pyrotechnics •••
DEWEY
(singing)
"And if we're gonna stand here, we
might as well duet ••• "
DARLENE
(singing the chorus)
"Let's duet, in the mor-ning!"
DEWEY
"Let's duet, all night long ••• "

• DARLENE
"Let's duet, out in a field,
underneath the moon ••. "
 42 •

• DEWEY
"Let's practice our duet tonight,
in my hotel room •.• "
As the song continues, we see a quick MONTAGE of Dewey and
Darlene getting to know each other--
·--·they come off stage and Dewey immediately tries to kiss
her. She's clearly tempted, but she stops him--
DARLENE
Mr. Cox, I'm not that kind of
woman. I have to get to know a man,
'fore I get involved. See what he's
made of.
He's very disappointed.
DARLENE
But that doesn't mean we can't
be ••• friends.
DEWEY
Right. "Friends" •

• *Dewey and Darlene ride bikes together.

*Dewey and Darlene sing together, by a camp fire.
*Dewey and Darlene kayak down a river together.
*Dewey and Darlene look at paintings together, in a museum.
But they never touch-- HJust friends".
END MONTAGE

EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY

Dewey and Darlene are ROCK CLIMBING up an impossibly

treacherous surface, using just their hands (think Cruise in
MI:2), approaching a plateau; Darlene is coaching Dewey--

DARLENE
There's a crevice to your right.
Dig in with your toes and use your
right hand •••
DEWEY
Okay ••• Here goes nothing .••

• He GRASPS for his handle, stumbles and looses his balance,

dangling by two fingers--
 43.

DEWEY
Whoa!!!
DARLENE
Hang on, Dewey!
DEWEY
Oh, I'm a' hangin' on, woman!
He hears this, and even in the midst of this near-death
experience, can't help but notice the lyrical potential--
DEWEY
(mumble-singing to
himself)
"I'm a-hangin' on, woman ••• Hanging
off this ledge •.• Don't leave me
hanging on ••• Don't ... keep me on
the edge ••• "
Darlene gets into position, just beneath him, breaking his
moment--
DARLENE

•
Use my shoulder!
DEWEY
You sure?!
DARLENE
Just do.it, Dewey! I got a good
grip •••
She CLINGS to the mountain, Dewey steps on her shoulder and
uses it to PUSH off, PULLING himself onto the top of the
mountain. When he gets there, he reaches down to Darlene. She
takes his hand and he PULLS her up with one arm.
They both catch their breath, against the backdrop of a
beautiful sunset.
DEWEY
we make quite a team, don't we?
Darlene blushes.
DEWEY
How do you know so much about rock
climbing?

• DARLENE
I don't know. I been <loin' it since
I was a girl.
 44 •

• DEWEY
I swear, Darlene, these last three
weeks have been so ..• full and
wonderful.
DARLENE
I ain't never had a friend like
you, Dewey.
They exchange meaningful looks, it seems they are about to
kiss, but they don't-- for a really, really long time-- then--
DEWEY
That's what we are. Good friends.
DARLENE
Yeah.
They are both frustrated.
DEWEY
I got a lot of pain in me, Darlene.
You should know that.
DARLENE
Where does all that pain come from,
Dewey?
DEWEY
I don't know. Maybe ••• Nevermind.
DARLENE
What?
DEWEY
It's nothin' •••
DARLENE
Come on, Dewey. You can talk to
me •.•
She looks in him in the eyes and he can't resist opening up--
DEWEY
I don't talk about this much •.• I
had a brother, when I was growing
up. Nate, was his name ••• He
passed, when we were boys.
DARLENE
I'm sorry, Dewey. How'd it happen?
 45 •

• DEWEY
Freak accident. Not important.

Okay.
DARLENE

DEWEY
Anyway, I think that maybe •.. and I
know this sounds crazy, but ... I
guess there's a part of me that
always felt that ••• in some way ..•
I was responsible.
DARLENE
Dewey, that's crazy talk! I don't
know what happened, but I'm sure it
wasn't your fault.
DEWEY
I cut him in half with a machete.
DARLENE
Well, did you mean to?

•
DEWEY
Of course not!
DARLENE
Well, there you go!
DEWEY
I know! Accidents happen! And
that's what I been tellin' myself,
ever since. But then, last week •••
DARLENE
What?
DEWEY
Nevermind •••
DARLENE
Dewey, you gotta be able to open up
to somebody. You can't walk through
life a big ball a' mysteries.
DEWEY
Last month, my mama died while she
was dancing to my song. Her inner-
ear disorder kicked in, while she

• was a'boogyin', I guess, and she

lost her balance and took a deadly
tumble.
 46 .

• DARLENE
Dewey, you can't control what
happens to people when they hear
your music.
DEWEY
I know, but •.• I'm starting to
think maybe it's dangerous to get
too close to Dewey Cox. Deadly,
even. I feel alone in this world •••
DARLENE
You ain't alone, Dewey.
They lock eyes and get very close to kissing again-- again
for a ridiculously long, tense beat, then--
DARLENE
We best be getting back.
DEWEY
They'll be lookin' for us ..•
They prepare to descend the mountain, then--

• DARLENE
Dewey, look •••
She points him to--
--the most beautiful sunset in the world. There couldn't be a
more romantic moment ...
DEWEY
Oh, Darlene ... before I met you, I
was all darkness and misery. But
now ... the world is just more
beautiful when you're around.
DARLENE
Kiss me, Cox.
He GRABS her and KISSES her passionately, the heat rising
instantly, weeks of built up tension. . .. HELICOPTER SHOT-:---
SWIRLING AROUND THEM, on top of this mountain ...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HOTEL ROOM - MORNING

Dewey and Darlene lie in bed together, post-coital, in love,
feeding each other fruit--
 47 •

• DEWEY
Darlene, when I'm with you, I feel
like I can be myself. Like you see
past the rocks star and appreciate
the whole man ••.
DARLENE
I really do.
The phone RINGS. Darlene answers--
DARLENE
Dewey Cox's room .•.
INTERCUT:

INT. HOME - DAY

On the other end of the phone-- Edith is stunned.

DARLENE
Hellloooo?
EDITH

•
Who's that?
DARLENE
This is Darlene.
Dewey realizes what's happening.
EDITH
Is Dewey there?
DARLENE
Who may I ask is calling?
EDITH
This is Edith. His wife.
Darlene is stunned-- she didn't know he was married. She
starts to cry, ashamed--
DARLENE
Just a moment, ma'am •.•
She throws the receiver at him, angry, gets out of bed--
DEWEY
Now, wait a second ••• It's not what
you think •••
He picks up the phone--
 48 ..

DEWEY
Hello?
EDITH
"It's not what you think?!" Well,
what is it then?·!
DEWEY
Now, Edith, darlin' •••
Darlene hears this, starts to WAIL--
DARLENE
You're married??!!
EDITH
Don't you "darlin'" me! You got a
woman in your room!
DEWEY
It's not what you think!
EDITH
What do you mean? It's not what I
think or it's not what she thinks?

• 'Cause it's gotta be what one of us

thinks! We can't both be thinkin'
wrong!
DEWEY
She's just my duet partner •••
Darlene is stung by this, dresses to leave---
DEWEY
Now, hold on!
EDITH
You tellin' me to "hold on"?!
DEWEY
No, not you, honey .••
(to Darlene)
Baby!
EDITH
Don't you "baby" me ••• -
DARLENE
You callin' me "baby"? When you got

•
yourself a wife at home? You should
be ashamed of yourself, Dewey Cox!
 49 •

• Darlene STORMS out of his room.

EDITH
Did she just say "you should be
ashamed yourself"?! I'm your wife!
I'm the one who should be,_ ,sayin'
that you should be ashamed of
yourself!
Edith SLAMS down the phone.
Dewey is left by himself--
DEWEY
I've made a terrible mistake.
He springs out of bed--
DEWEY
I've made a terrible mistake!
EXT. DEWEY'S STREET - DAY

Back home, Dewey runs down the street (guitar over his
shoulder), toward his house--

• --where Edith is loading a couple kids into the car. A CAMEL

wanders around in the front yard.
DEWEY
Edith! Honey! I've made a terrible
mistake!
EDITH
Leave me alone!
DEWEY
Darlin'! I'm so sorry! I been weak!
I don't know what came over me!
EDITH
Stop your talkin', Dewey! I'm
leaving you!
She runs back inside, he follows, but before he gets there--
she emerges with two more children that she loads into the
car--
DEWEY
Edith, don't go!
 50.

EDITH
I could never trust you again! I'm
leaving!
She runs back inside.
INT. DEWEY'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Dewey rushes inside, where Edith is gathering two more
children--
DEWEY
You're just leaving?! After all we
been through together?!
EDITH
I'm leaving!
EXT. DEWEY'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Edith loads two more children into the car; Dewey follows--
DEWEY
What about the children?!

• EDITH
Maybe you should have thought about
that before you went and sang your
duet!
INT. DEWEY'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
Edith is gathering three more children--
DEWEY
(defensive)
I got a lot of love in me! Is that
a crime?! You sit there and judge
me like some kind of ••• judge. Who
makes ••• judgements about •••
situations •••
EDITH
You're violatin' the sacred vows of
marriage!
DEWEY
There you go! Judging me again •••
Well, if you're accusing me of
having too much love in my heart •••

• then ••• what can I say? Guilty as

charged.
 51.

• He hears this-- likes the sound of it .•.

DEWEY
"Guilty as Charged"
. He starts humming a melody, mumbling rough lyrics. Edith just
watches him, working it out, for a very long beat •••
EDITH
I'll be back on Tuesday, to pick up
the camel. Goodbye, Dewey Cox.
DEWEY
Give me another chance! Don't leave
me!
But she's gone. He RUNS into--
INT. BATHROOM - SAME

--and starts destroying the bathroom. (Over the opening

chords of his new hit "Guilty as Charged"-- a very self-
righteous song about how "if you're accusing me of having too
much love, then I'm Guilty as Charged".)

•· Pulling the sink off the wall, busting pipes, FLOODING .•• He
SLUMPS against the wall, distraught ...
INTO A MON:TAGE-- "Guilty as Charged"
INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Dewey, on stage, singing the song, but he's visibly changed--

a darker, more Rock 'n Roll Dewey-- mussed hair and stubble,
sunglasses all the time, dressed in dark clothing, hurting.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Dewey stands in the street, yelling at sky--

DEWEY
Oh dear lord! Why hath thou
foresaken Dewey Cox!?
He drops to his knees-- King Lear.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT

The same show-- the women RUSH the stage, as they do, but
this time he GRABS one and starts making out with her--
eventually stopping the song entirely to make out with this
girl. He starts to take off his shirt-- has to be restrained
by Sam.
 52.

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

The tour bus rolls down a perfect Americana highway.

INT. TOUR BUS - SAME

The DRIVER drives. MOVE DOWN the aisle to find--
Dewey, staring at his reflection in the window, crying. After
a moment, he puts on his sun glasses, and RISES, moves to the
bathroom--
--where he discovers Sam and a bunch of PEOPLE doing drugs--
SAM
Get out of here, Dewey! You don't
want no part of this shit!
DEWEY
(through tears)
What are you doing?
SAM
We're doin' "pills". Uppers and

•
downers. They take you up and then
they bring you down!
DEWEY
I want some of that shit.
EXT. THEATER - NIGHT

Another load out, Dewey can barely walk, he's so drugged. He

spots--
--his male bass player, THEO, struggling to carry his amp.
DEWEY
Hey, Theo ... can I get that for
you?
Dewey and Theo lock eyes •..
INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Dewey lies in bed, eyes wide open. DISCOVER-- Theo in bed
with him. And a couple of women also. But still, pretty gay.
Sam enters, surveys the scene--
SAM
You've changed, Dewey.
 53.

EXT. LOS ANGELES - DAY

The Capital Records building.
INT. CAPITAL RECORDS - DAY
Dewey and his manager SCHWARTZBERG (played by David
Krumholtz, who actually played the manager in RAY) walk down
a hallway. Dewey can barely walk, he's so drugged--
SCHWARTZBERG
Now, Dewey-- as your manager, I
believe we can get you a much
better deal, here at Capital. Just
let me do the talking.
DEWEY
Hhhmmm ••• ?
INT. OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Dewey and Schwartzberg sit across the desk from three new
Hasidic Jews; MAZELTOV is the main man--

•
MAZELTOV
Mr. Cox, Mr. Schwartzberg ••• we
here at Capital are prepared to
offer you 6 cents, per record.
SCHWARTZBERG
It'll never happen. If you want to
get realistic, then we're all ears.
Otherwise, we should thank you for
your time.
Tense looks around the room. Dewey chimes in, stoned out of
his mind--
DEWEY
Mr. Mazeltov .•• I'm just a country
boy on qualudes, but •.• I think
that what my manager is trying to
say is ••• We're not mostly
concerned about 6 cents on the
record, ya' hear?
SCHWARTZBERG
(adomonishing, under his
breath)
Dewey •••

• MAZELTOV
And what are you concerned about?
 54.

DEWEY
What I'm interested in is more
exclusions, to reduce my recoupable
expenses against my advance. I want
my over-seas mechanicals uncrossed
with distribution costs, in all
territories, including the UK and
Australia. And we're thinking more
in the neighborhood of 11 cents on
the record, if you catch my drift.
Dewey flashes him a big stoney smile ••.
MAZELTOV
Mr. Cox, you drive a hard
bargain ••• but you got yourself a
deal.
Mazeltov reaches across the table to shake-- but Dewey has
fallen asleep in his chair.
INT. BACK STAGE/ ANOTHER THEATER - NIGHT

Dewey throws a couple of pills in his mouth, washes them down

•
with bourbon, then steps out onto--
INT. STAGE - NIGHT

Dewey takes the stage, stumbling and wasted--

DEWEY
I'm Dewey Cox.
Then he COLLAPSES. Everyone RUSHES to him--
EVERYONE
Dewey!
Someone SMACKS him ••• He wakes up, then he rises, suddenly
full of energy, steps to the mic--
DEWEY

The band starts to play •••

INT. AIRPORT - DAY

Dewey and the band ride an escalator, then spot--

• --the COPS, waiting for them at the bottom •

 55.

COP
Mr. Cox!
Dewey panics, turns and starts to RUN up the escalator. But
it's not easy to do that, and for a while he makes no
progress at all--

The cops give CHASE--

Dewey finally gets to the top, satisfied that he's eluded the
police. He breathes a sigh of relief-- when suddenly he's
violently TACKLED to the ground by a pair of COPS. Dewey
STRUGGLES to get away, then gives in, with a cool smirk-- "Go
ahead, arrest me."
INT. BACK ROOM - DAY

Dewey is being searched, staying cool--

DEWEY
Go ahead. Search me. You ain't
gonna find nothin'.
A COP pulls a bag of weed from his pocket •

• DEWEY
That belongs to somebody else.
ANOTHER pulls a prescription pill bottle from his other
pocket--
DEWEY
That's for my allergies.
Then they pull a baggy out of his pants. Then they pull
several more baggies out of his shoes.
DEWEY
(now nervous)
That's for my ..• sinuses.
Across the room, a cop pulls an enormous brick of cocaine out
of Dewey's unstrung guitar.
DEWEY
Damn! I didn't think you'd find
that!
He suddenly gets kind of vulnerable--

• DEWEY
I have a very addictive
personality.
 56.

COP
Mr. Cox, I'm placing you under
arrest. You have the right to
remain silent ...
DEWEY
I have a problem!
EXT. AIRPORT - DAY

PHOTOGRAPHERS FLASH away--

--as Dewey is hauled off, in handcuffs, looking cool. FREEZE
on a black and white photo of the moment •••
INT. JAIL CELL - DAY
Dewey sits on a bunk, in prison clothes, depressed.
A GUARD appears, followed by-- Dewey's father.
GUARD
You have four minutes.

•
The guard leaves •
DEWEY
Pa. • • you came.
PA COX
Son ...
DEWEY
Oh, Pa ••• I knew you'd be here for
me, when I needed you.
PA COX
Oh, I'm here, alright. I'm here to
tell you-- I told you so! I knew it
would lead to this.
DEWEY
But, Pa ...
PA COX
You know why this happened? Because.
of that music of yours. Music leads
to degradation, and then prison.
That's what music does .••

• DEWEY
Pa, I know I made some mistakes,
but ...
 57 •

• PA COX
But nothing! You got nobody but
yourself to blame.
DEWEY
I was just trying to make people
happy, Pa.
PA COX
You were trying to make yourself
happy. That's the only thing you
ever cared about-- you. Dewey Cox.
Dewey is hurt.
PA COX
I could bail you out, right now.
But I'm not going to. You know why?
DEWEY
Why?
PA COX
Because if I did, you'd just go

•
right back to playin' that stupid,
evil music of yours. And then,
'fore you know it, we'll be right
back here, again.
DEWEY
That's not true! It's the drug.s,
not the music. But ••• I can change.
PA COX
People don't change, son.
DEWEY
This is about Nate, isn't it?
Pa gets quiet, then he leaves; over his shoulder--
PA COX
The wrong kid died!
As Pa heads down the hall, a gate SLAMS closed behind him
with almost every step, one after another.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
At a visiting table, Dewey sits across from MAZELTOV--

•
•• MAZELTOV
They want to lock you up, for
twenty years. Which is not good.
For you, for me ••• You're selling
so many records .••
DEWEY
Mr. Mazeltov, there's got to be
somethin' you can do. I'm beggin'
ya'! I'm 21 years old. I got my
whole life ahead of me •.•
MAZELTOV
We think we can get you off. But
you're gonna have to play ball.
DEWEY
What do I have to do? Name it.
MAZELTOV
You gotta go to rehab.
INT. REHAB - DAY

•
Dewey lies in a bed, flipping around, sweating .•• A beautiful
NURSE tends to him--
HOT NURSE
Doctor!
A DOCTOR runs in, checks his pulse.
DEWEY
I'm so cold!
DOCTOR
We need more blankets!
A couple of NURSES run in, throw more blankets over him.
DOCTOR
Get the restraints!
A couple of ORDERLIES run in, hold Dewey down •••
DISSOLVE TO:

Through his delirium, Dewey sees a vision of--

--his mother---
 59.

MA COX
It's gonna be okay, Dewey •••
DISSOLVE TO:

Dewey sweating more--

DEWEY
I'm hot!
HOT NURSE
Doctor!
The Doctor rushes in--
HOT NURSE
I think he has too many blankets!
DOCTOR
Fewer blankets!
The nurses remove some of his blankets.
DOCTOR
I think it's time we use some of
that modern technology.
CUT TO:

Dewey sits in a tub, naked, covered with leaches and attached

to a bunch of electrodes. In the corner of the room, he sees--
Nate-- who this time is just a severed torso, hovering in
the air, with some innards hanging out of him.
Dewey SCREAMS--

DEWEY
Nate!
Dewey is SHOCKED by the electrodes--
DEWEY
Ouch!
DISSOLVE TO:

Dewey lying in bed, flipping around--

DEWEY
I'm both hot and cold, at the same
time!
 60 .

• HOT NURSE
We need more blankets and less
blankets!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DEWEY'S PRIVATE ROOM - DAY

Dewey, doing much better, sits in bed, strumming his guitar.

A KNOCK at the door. He looks up to see--
--Darlene, standing in the doorway--
DARLENE
You ready to go home, Dewey Cox?
He smiles at her-- moved. She's there for him.
DEWEY
Darlene, I thought ••• I heard you
was shacked up with Glen Campbell,
in Colorado.
DARLENE

•
Actually, I was living in New York,
with Kenny Rodgers. But that's over
now.
DEWEY
I knew when we was kayaking in the
Adirondacks ... I knew then I'd
found the only person who ever
truly understood me.
DARLENE
I couldn't be with you while you
was married. That would have been
wrong. But now that your wife has
left you for cheating with me. • • I
feel okay about it.
DEWEY
Darlene ••. that's the best news I
ever heard. And I ain't never gonna
touch no drugs again. I'm a new
man. From here on out, I'm gonna
walk the straight and narrow.
DARLENE
I think you're ready to be the

• Dewey Cox I always knew you could

be.
 61.

DEWEY
I'll tell you what-- I'm gonna give
it my best shot.
They embrace-- true love.
EXT. DEWEY'S NEW HOUSE (IN WOODSTOCK) - NIGHT

A large mountain cabin in the woods. HEAR-- a group singing

"Froggy Went a' Courtin'" •••
INT. DEWEY'S NEW HOUSE - SAME
New Year's Eve party-- 1966.
Dewey, who now has very long hair and looks kind of "'60s",
strums an acoustic guitar, standing by the fire place, as
JERRY GARCIA (Danny Masterson cameo) plays a little blue
grass lead. The song ends, everyone CLAPS--
JERRY GARCIA
We should record somethin'
together, Dewey.
DEWEY

• We really should, Jerry Garcia •

A GUY chimes in--
GUY
Hey, everybody! Five seconds 'til
1966! And 5 •••
Everyone counts off--
GROUP
4-3-2-1!

EVERYONE hoots and hollers ••• Couples KISS ••• Two COUPLES
switch partners., start to make-out passionately-- free love.
Dewey and Darlene (flower child model) KISS and grope-- madly
in love.
DEWEY
Happy New Years, Mrs. Cox.
DARLENE
Happy New Years, Mr. Cox.

•
They toast their tea mugs and drink--
 62 •

• DEWEY
This is such an exciting time! I
feel like ••. there's something
happening here. What it is ain't
exactly .•• obvious, but ••• I think
the times, they are a' ••• I don't
know. I can't quite think of the
right word, but .•• The times, they
are a' ••. definitely different than
they were before.
DARLENE
So true •••
DEWEY
All I know is, the world is
changing. And Dewey Cox is
changing, right along with it ••.
I'm 28 years old. And I finally
realize-- my daddy was right! I
been spending too much time
thinking about Dewey Cox. I gotta
think about the world! What, with
women's rights and Negro rights •••
There's a whole lot of civil rights

•
goin' on! And then there's this .••
quagmire we done got ourselves into
in Vietnam •••
DARLENE
You speak the truth, Dewey, my
brother. My •.• husband brother. And
our parents' generation •.• they
just don't understand!
DEWEY
They don't! It's like ••• Hey, Mr.
Old Guy, move over!
He hears this-- likes the sound of it •.•
BEGIN MONTAGE-- In black and white-- Dewey in the '60s, his
most prolific period ever. This sequence plays against a
medley of Dewey's sixties hits-- mostly Dylan-esque songs.
Also, this sequence uses a lot of historical footage.
EXT. STREET - DAY

Historical footage of Bobby Kennedy, marching through

Washington. INSERT Dewey into the scene, marching with
Mohammed Ali.
 63.

DEWEY (V.O.)
(singing)
"Hey, Mr. Old Guy/ Your time has
passed/ Time for a new generation
to supplant you .•• "
EXT. RALLY STAGE - DAY

Dewey stands at the mic, strumming the song on an acoustic

guitar, impassioned. Darlene sings back-up.
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

Dewey is writing a new song--

DEWEY
(singing)
"The purple·moon is shining/ I can
see it
The coyotes, they're a'cryin'/
Can't ya' hear it?
The anger, it's a risin'/ Why
conceal it?
There's a change a' happenin'/ I

•
can feel it •.. "
EXT. CAMPUS BONFIRE - NIGHT
Dewey and Darlene, with a bunch of chanting FEMINISTS. Dewey
burns a bra, angry.
INSERT-- The Charts-- "There's a Change a' Happenin', I Can
Feel It" soaring up to# 1!
EXT. WOODSTOCK - DAY

Using footage from the film--

Dewey is on stage, playing "There's a Change a'Happenin', I
Can Feel It" ••.
MAMA KASS looks on, enamoured ..•
EXT. GAS STATION - NIGHT
Dewey is furiously writing a new song--
DEWEY
(singing)
"Mailboxes drip like lamp posts in

• the twisted birth canal of the

Coliseum/
(MORE)
 64.

DEWEY (cont'd)
Rim job fairy teapots mask the
temper tantrum, Oh, say can you see
'em? .•• "
INT. ED SULLIVAN SHOW - DAY
Dewey plays the song (looking exactly like Dylan in DON'T
LOOK BACK-- harmonica in holder, etc •.. ). ED watches from the
backstage--
DEWEY
"Stuffed cabbage is the darling of
the laundry mat/
And the sorority mascot sat with
the aristocrat .•• "
In the audience, a guy leans over to his girlfriend--
GUY
What's he talking about?
GIRLFRIEND
I don't understand a word of it,
but it's deep.

•
INT. DEWEY'S NEW HOUSE (WOODSTOCK) - DAY
Darlene lies screaming in a bath tub, as Dewey delivers their
new baby, hands it to a MID-WIFE. Then--
DEWEY
Twins!?
--and he catches another baby .••
EXT. STREET - DAY
Dewey MARCHES with Martin Luther King, chanting for equal
rights.
INSERT-- The Charts-- Dewey's song "Ballad of the Gypsy
Racketeer" reaches #1!
EXT. STREET - DAY

Dewey marches with a bunch of DWARVES-- for "Dwarf Rights"--

carrying a sign that says-- "I may be little but I ain't
small". He CHANTS aggressively.
New song---

•
 65.

DEWEY ( V. 0 • )
(singing)
"The little man with the golden
hand/ Is driving his streetcar down
the block ••• ""
END MONTAGE.

INT. AIRPORT - DAY

Dewey and Darlene stand in front of a bunch of REPORTERS (a

la The Beatles), answering questions, as flashbulbs strobe--
REPORTER l.
Why you goin' to India, Dewey?
DEWEY
India is the spiritual capital of
the world. With all that's going on
here at home, I think it's
important to stay connected to the
life force. Play a little music. Do
a little meditatin' with the
Maharishi. Dewey Cox needs India,
right now. And heck ••• I reckon
India needs Dewey Cox, too.
EXT. INDIA - DAY

Dewey and Darlene sit in a circle with-- the MAHARISHI and

the BEATLES. Meditating •.. A long "Om". Then silence. After a
long beat--
MAHARISHI
Only through meditation, can we
begin to understand our role.
JOHN LENNON
We are but grains of sand.
The· Maharishi nods his approval.
DEWEY
That was freakin' transcendental,
John Lennon.
PAUL MCCARTNEY
It really was, Dewey, my brother.
DEWEY
It really was Paul McCartney, my
brother.
 66 .

•• RINGO STAR
I'm going to adjourn to my quarters
to try to ••• open my third eye.
Anyone care to join me?
The Beatles all jump up--
BEATLES
Yes!/ Lets!
RINGO STAR
Come on then, lads!
PAUL MACARTNEY
Let's go to the tipity-top of the
topity-tip!
They laugh, as they SKIP off, in a group--
JOHN LENNON
Come on, Dewey!
Dewey starts to follow, but Darlene stops him, worried--
DARLENE
Dewey, let's go to bed •••
DEWEY
Oh, come on, honey. Let's just go
see what the Beatles are up to.
DARLENE
Dewey, you know what they're up to.
They're going to do some of that
LSD.

He obviously does know this.

DEWEY
Yeah. So ..• ?
DARLENE
Dewey,· you been living clean for
three years, now. And it's done you
a world of good, has it not?· You
been more prolific than ever in
your life, both in terms of music
and number of children you've
sired. Any way you count it, it's
been a very productive period,
you've had here.
 67.

DEWEY
Yeah ..• I guess. But this is
different! This isn't about getting
wasted. LSD is about raising our
consciousness!
DARLENE
What are you searching for, Dewey?!
DEWEY
(petulant)
I want to do LSD with the Beatles!
Suddenly, Nate appears--
NATE
You are totally doing LSD with the
Beatles.
DEWEY
Nate ••• ?
Darlene doesn't see Nate (because he is a vision)--
DARLENE

• What about Nate?

NATE
Do it for me, Dewey!
DEWEY
Nate would want me to do LSD with
the Beatles. I gotta do it. For
him ..
DARLENE
Listen to yourself! That's the
craziest thing I ever heard.
DEWEY
Come on, baby. . • I know I 've had
some troubles with drugs in the
past, but this is different. This
could really help my song writing.
Have you heard that Walrus song?
It's really good.
She thinks about it--
DARLENE
You promise it'll just be this one
time?
 68 •

• I promise.
DEWEY

DARLENE
Okay. This one time ..• let's go
drop acid with the Beatles.
DEWEY
Great! I'm just gonna go to the
bathroom, first .••
He steps to some kind of hut, opens the door--
--Sam, the drummer, is sitting on the floor with the Beatles.
He has so~ething on his tongue, talks funny--
SAM
Get out of here, Dewey!
DEWEY
What are you <loin'?
SAM
It's called LSD. And, come to think

•
of it, I think you might want some
of this shit.
BEGIN MONTAGE-- The LSD montage, to an organ-driven Doors-
esque spoken poem song.
INT. SHACK - NIGHT

Dewey, Darlene, The Beatles and a bunch of hot Indian WOMEN

are tripping, playing music. The Beatles are having a
profound experience of "presentness".
Dewey is in ~is own world. He stands up and stumbles out of
the room, suddenly slinking like Jim Morrison.
DEWEY (V .O.)
(reciting more than
singing)
I awoke at dawn/ I put my talisman
on .••
EXT. DESERT - NIGHT

Dewey wanders under the night sky, staring at the stars •

•
 69 .

• DEWEY (v.o·.)
I stepped into the scorched and
heartless desert/ And standing in
front of me/ With burning gills of
fire/ Was The Present •.•
He DROPS to his knees, touching the earth. The Beatles dance
around behind him, like snakes.
INT. CLUB - NIGHT
Dewey is on his knees, on stage, enacting the song in a
ridiculously theatrical way--
DEWEY
I took a mighty swing/ And I cut
the present in half! •••
A card tells us that he is in-- "Europe".
We PAN over the audience, who all wear black turtlenecks
(since this is Europe). They watch, silent but dispassionate,
puffing on cigarettes.

•
On stage, Dewey crawls across the floor--
DEWEY
I turned around/ And standing
behind me/ Was Captain Scorpion!/
And I said, "Captain Scorpion! ••.
WE REVOLVE AROUND DEWEY as he rises to his feet, facing down
an imaginary opponent--
DEWEY
You're going down, Captain
Scorpion!
The MUSIC RISES dramatically-- and Dewey heads into an almost
orgasmic Morrison-esque crescendo as the CAMERA SWIRLS AROUND
HIM--

DEWEY
You're going down! You're going
DOWN! YOU'RE GOING DOWN ... on my
mother!"
He grabs a drum stick and starts WAILING on one of the
symbols on the drum set, POUNDING away in a hallucinogenic,
tribal fury, sweat flying-- as the CAMERA moves in VERY

• CLOSE, very spooky .••

 70 •

• CUT WIDE to the audience perspective-- of Dewey spastically

beating this symbol. From their perspective, it looks and
sounds ludicrous.
END MONTAGE
INT. STUDIO (LOS ANGELES) - DAY
Dewey's band is set up in front of-- a massive ORCHESTRA, a
full CHOIR, a dozen ABORIGINES percussionists, a trio of
sitar PLAYERS and a Didgery-doo PLAYER, who has just finished
a take--
DIDGERY-DOO PLAYER
How was that? Dewey ••• ?
INT. BOOTH - SAME

A tortured Dewey and four ENGINEERS sit at the console. Dewey

presses the talk-back button--
DEWEY
I'm still not feeling it. I'm
hearing it, but I'm not hearing it,

•
you know what I'm saying?
The ENGINEERS all groan. Dewey holds his head in his hands---
DEWEY
Alright everybody, let's take five.
Everyone is clearly frustrated-- they've been here a long
time. Over the speaker system--
DEWEY
The molecules in the room have gone
ugly. I want everybody to step
outside, look in the direction of
Jupiter, breath in the sky and come
back in five with some positive,
pretty molecules.
As the room empties, Dewey takes a hit of opium off a hookah,
then turns to his engineers and producers, frustrated--
ENGINEER l
Dewey, we been working with the
Didgery-doo for four days. Maybe we
should move on to something else •

•
 71.

• DEWEY
I got this sound in my head and
it's trying to get out, but I can't
find it on this here human plane of
existence.
ENGINEER 1
Well, is there a didgery-doo in it?
DEWEY
I don't think so!
ENGINEER 1
Well, maybe.we should work on the
Aborigines drummers for a few
days •••
DEWEY
(tortured)
I don't know ... I need a bounce.
EXT. BEACH - NIGHT
Dewey is BOUNCING up and down on a trampoline, staring out at
the ocean, somber, deep in thought ...

• INT. KITCHEN - EVENING

Darlene and her MOTHER are preparing dinner, as dozens of Cox

children run wild through the kitchen.
DARLENE'S MOTHER
Darlene, why don't we just eat in
the dining room, like normal?
DARLENE
Because, this year, we're having
Thanksgiving out on the trampoline.
DARLENE'S MOTHER
But what kind of family eats
Thanksgiving dinner on a
trampoline?!
DARLENE
This family does, that's what kind.
I told you, mama-- Dewey ain't
comin' inside, 'til his record's
finished.

•
Dewey's father enters, hears this--
 72 .

• PA COX
That's the stupidest thing I ever
heard!
EXT. BEACH - NIGHT

The family, complete with dozens of CHILDREN, sit in a circle

on the trampoline, as Dewey carves the Turkey-- which is
harder to do on a trampoline, because it keeps moving.
Everyone waits, awkward. Then--
PA COX
Just cut the damn bird, boy!
DEWEY
Nothin' I do will ever please you,
will it, Pa?
PA COX
Mr. Big Rock Star. You think you're
so great? Well, what have you got
to show for it? Several million
dollars? A dozen gold records?
Twenty eight to thirty two

•
children? You've been all over the
world and touched the lives of
millions of people •.• but what do
you really have, in the eyes of the
Lord?
Dewey is stung.
PA COX
You sit there, all drugged up,
talking about how you're a
salamander ••• You ain't no
salamander, boy! And you call
yourself a Cox .•• You're the black
sheep of this family. You're ••• the
black Cox! And until you get right
with Jesus, you'll never be nothin'
but a big black Cox.
Dewey is devastated, stares at him meaningfully, for a long
beat ..• Then--
DEWEY
I have a 127 musicians waiting on
me •.. You'll have to excuse me .

• And with that, he BOUNCES up and does an impressive BACK FLIP

off the trampoline. The turkey goes FLYING •.• Dewey misses
his landing and CRASHES to the ground-- very painful.
 73.

DARLENE
Dewey!
He struggles to pick himself up, very stoic--
DEWEY
That wasn't as bad as it looked.
He turns and LIMPS away.
INT. STUDIO - NIGHT

The band and the orchestra and the choir PLAY an enormous
Beach Boys-esque "wall of sound" type song-- "Black Sheep".
A goat ROAMS the room, followed by a GUY with a mic,
recording it's "baaahs" ...
In an isolation booth, Dewey wears headphones and CROONS into
the mic--
DEWEY
"Out into the pasture I wander/ But
I won't get no sleep/ I'll just

•
stand around and ponder/ My life--
The Black Sheep"
The orchestra crescendos HUGE-- the goat BAAHS perfectly. The
song ends •••
INTERCUT:

INT. BOOTH - SAME

The engineer presses the talk-back--

ENGINEER 1
That was beautiful, Dewey. Not an
ugly molecule in the whole take.
Even the goat was perfect •..
Dewey thinks for a moment--
DEWEY
Yeah, it was good on the goat •••
Were the strings tangy enough?
EVERYONE
Yes!/Definitely!/Very tangy!

• Dewey considers ••• then--

 74 •

• DEWEY
One more time.
Everyone GROANS ••. then resets for the next take.
DEWEY
Strings-- lean into it. A little
more tangy, this time ... Fred, back
off the goat, during the 2nd pre-
chorus. I want to feel his heart,
not his soul. Sam, go back to what
you were doing yesterday for the
bridge •••
SAM
What was I doing?
DEWEY
The thing that sounded like velvet
pancakes.
SAM
You got it, Dewey.
ENGINEER 1
(into the mic)
"Black Sheep". Take one hundred
twelve .••
Dewey counts it off--
DEWEY
One-y and a'two-y, and three-four-
five!
The ORCHESTRA starts up, very grandiose •••
Dewey's manager Schwartzberg approaches the engineer--
SCHWARTZBERG
What the fuck's a "velvet pancake"?
ENGINEER 1
It's the LSD. He's hearing his
breakfast. ·

BEGIN MONTAGE-- Dewey recording his epic album--

-- Dewey does an interpretive dance, as a SAX PLAYER plays a
solo.·

• -- Dewey, wears a strange robe as he plays a harp.

 75.

-- Dewey has grown a long beard, sits behind the console,

speaks into the talk-back--
DEWEY
Again! Except this time, play it
like you're in New Zealand!
-- Dewey holds a mic to a woman's breasts, recording her
heart beat.
-- Dewey (who's beard has gotten really long) hangs suspended
from the ceiling, singing into a mic that has also been
suspended from the ceiling.
Dewey sits behind the console, speaks into the talk-back--
DEWEY
Again! Except this time, go-- boo-
bop, boo-bop, boo-de-be-doo-bop de-
bop boo-de-be-doo-bop de-bop boo-
bop, boo-bop ... Hold on a minute •••
He turns to-- Darlene, who is GIVING BIRTH on a gurney that's
been wheeled into the studio. She SCREAMS in pain--

• DEWEY
Hang in there, sweetheart!
(to the engineer)
Why aren't we recording this?!
(back to Darlene)
Push, honey!
Someone puts a mic to her mouth as she PUSHES HARD, SCREAMS.
-- The tape machine turns. FOLLOW a long chord, which starts
at the board, then keeps going, all the way across the room,
to the door and OUTSIDE-- FOLLOW the chord a very long way,
onto the beach ... past several people who are staring at--
The trampoline-- where Dewey is bouncing up and down, in
headphones, listening to his record. The song ends. Dewey
stops bouncing. He stares out at the ocean--
DEWEY
It's perfect.
He abruptly PASSES OUT.
END MONTAGE
 76 •

• INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

Dewey is asleep in bed. Darlene stands over him, watching him
sleep, worried. Dewey STIRS--
DEWEY
How long I been sleepin'?

DARLENE
Two weeks.
DEWEY
Wow, I guess I needed that •••
(then worried)
I finished the record, right?
DARLENE
It's finished, Dewey. It's perfect.
DEWEY
It is, isn't it?
He reaches for the night stand, starts feeling around-- but
he can't find what he's looking for. He starts searching

•
through the drawers, becoming frantic--
DEWEY
Where's my stash? Where's my
stash?!
DARLENE
It's gone, Dewey. I flushed it.
DEWEY
What?!
DARLENE
You promised-- when the record was
finished, you'd quit, once and for
all.
DEWEY
Darlene, honey ••• I know I did. And
I will, it's just ••• my sinuses ...
(near tears)
You flushed my stash?!
He springs up and RUNS into--
INT. BATHROOM - SAME

• Dewey is trying to PULL the toilet off the floor-- and he's
making progress .•.
 77.

•
he PULLS with all his strength-- and the TOILET comes loose,
BUSTS a pipe-- ~he bathroom starts to FLOOD.
DARLENE
What in hell are you doin', Dewey?
DEWEY
I'm looking for my stash!
DARLENE
I flushed it, I said. I didn't just
drop it into the toilet. I flushed
it! It's gone!
DEWEY
I thought maybe it was still in
there!
DARLENE
Look at you! You're a mess!
He collects himself--
DEWEY
(sweet talk mode)
Listen, baby ••• When I'm playing

• music ••• in the studio or out on

the road •.• I need it! It keeps my
creativity ••• It makes the engine
run!
DARLENE
But you're not playin', right now.
You just woke up and the first
thing you think about is your
drugs! Not me. Not your family. You
know who you're married to? Your
drugs!
DEWEY
I am not married to my drugs!
DARLENE
You're 32 years old and you ain't
even left this house in four years!
It's sad •••
DEWEY
(angry mode)
Oh, so now I'm "sad"? I'm a
pathetic drug addict? Is that it?!

• DARLENE
I didn't say that!
 78 .

• (calmly)
DEWEY
Don't you judge me!
DARLENE

You give me no choice. I'm leaving,

Dewey.
She walks out--
DEWEY
Fine! Leave then!
He stares at the gushing pipe, then BREAKS a few more things.
DEWEY
Come back! ••• Darlene! ••• I have a
very addictive personality!
EXT. DEWEY'S HOUSE - DAY

On the PCH. Dewey emerges from his house in a bathrobe,

looking insane. He moves to the side of the road and stiGks
his thumb out-- a cab SCREECHES to a stop.

• CAB DRIVER
Aren't you Dewey Cox?!
DEWEY
Downtown! Step on it!
EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY
Dewey emerges from the cab, wild-eyed-- on the prowl. He
steps into-- an alley where a bunch of over-the-top sixti~s
DRUG DEALERS are leaning against walls, looking dangerous:
Dewey approaches a DEALER, who wears a very over~the-top
"drug dealer" costume. There's something suspicious about
this guy •••
DEWEY
You got stuff?
DEALER
Yeah, I got a little stuff.
·DEWEY
Drugs, I'm talking about. You have
drugs?
DEALER
Yes, I have drugs.
 79.

·• DEWEY
Well, I need to buy me some drugs.
DEALER
You askin' me to sell you some
drugs?
DEWEY
That's what I'm asking. I'm asking
you to sell me some of the drugs
you're dealing.
DEALER
Let me see your money.
Dewey pulls out a wad of cash--
DEWEY
Let me see your drugs.
The dealer pulls out a bag of something.
DEWEY
How much of my money do you want
for your drugs?
DEALER
Fifty dollars.
DEWEY
Okay. Here's fifty dollars. Give me
fifty dollars worth of drugs.
They make the exchange and are IMMEDIATELY surrounded by
COPS, guns drawn--
COP
Freeze! Put your hands above your
head!
DEWEY
I knew there was something
suspicious about that •••
The police RUN in and cuff Dewey. PHOTOGRAPHERS snap photos
of this horrible moment-- Dewey sees the camera and smiles,
trying to look cool ..• FREEZE on a black-and-white news photo
of Dewey being led away in his bathrobe •••
INSERT-- ... which turns into the cover of the next day's

• paper, under the headline-- "Singer Nabbed in Drug Sting" •

 80 •

• INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

Dewey is being worked over by the same cops that nailed him
the first time--
DEWEY
I'm innocent.
COP
We have you on tape saying, "Here's
50 dollars. Give me 50 dollars
worth of drugs."
Dewey searches for a response--
DEWEY
I got a problem!
INT. REHAB - DAY

Dewey, in the same bed, tended by the same beautiful nurse--

DEWEY
I'm cold!

• NURSE
More blankets!

A vision of Darlene in India--

DISSOLVE TO:

DARLENE
What are you searching for, Dewey?
DISSOLVE TO:
Dewey THRASHING around some more--
DEWEY
I'm hot!
NURSE
Fewer blankets!

DISSOLVE TO:
Later--
NATE
Hi, Dewey.
 81.

• Nate has appeared in the corner-- again, just his top half,
with his intestines hanging out. Dewey SCREAMS--
NATE
Dewey ••• what's become of you?
DEWEY
Nate! Where's your •.• where's your
bottom half?
NATE
Oh ••• Sorry.
His legs APPEAR and now he's whole again.
DEWEY
That's fucked up, Nate.
NATE
Sorry.
DEWEY
It's alright, it's just when you
appear as just a severed torso, it

•
kind of feels like you're haunting
me, more than visiting me.
NATE
Hm ..• I can see that.
DEWEY
Why are you here?
NATE
Like I said-- what's become of you,
Dewey?
Dewey is forced to think about this, pained.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. MALIBU CALIFORNIA - DAY
GRAPHIC UP- "1970's"
We see a fancy beach house.
INT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY
Dewey, now in his mid-thirties, with full muttonchops and a

• colorful 70's outfit, answers the door--

--it's Schwartzberg (his manager).
 82 •

• SCHWARTZBERG
Hey, stranger. Ready to get back to
work?
INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Schwartzberg and Dewey are seated in a very 70's looking
living room.
DEWEY
I was thinking maybe now would be a
good time to go on a world tour.
Get the old band together and
barnstorm across Europe, Asia •..
Hell, we could even go to Russia.
I heard they let Mac Davis play
there last year.
MANAGER
I am afraid there might not be the
interest. You've been out of the
spotlight for some time now.
DEWEY

•
Then I can record a new album. Get
the heat going again with some
rockin' new tunes.
MANAGER
I hate to be the bearer of bad
news, but the label dropped you.
Times are changing. Sean Cassidy
and Leif Garrett-- that's what the
kids are into, these days.
DEWEY
Seriously?!
Dewey paces around his living room like a caged animal with
nowhere to go--
DEWEY
Then what should I do? Just give
up? Pack it in?
MANAGER
Two little words-- T.V.
DEWEY
What are you talking about?

•
 83 •

•• MANAGER
The Columbia Broadcasting Company
would like you to host a television
variety program. Every Thursday at
eight o'clock. This could be big.
Off of Dewey's look--
CUT TO:
EXT. CBS STUDIOS - DAY

Establishing shot.
INT. SOUNDSTAGE - TAPING
CLOSE UP ON A TV-- the animated opening of "The Dewey Cox
Show" (in the style of the old "Carol Burnett Show" open).
PAN FROM THE AUDIENCE APPLAUDING TO THE SET--
--which looks much like the old Sonny and Cher Show set. We
hear the theme music-- a cheesy, big band version of the song
"Walk Hard".

• Dewey takes the stage, as the crowd goes wild--

DEWEY
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the show. We have a lot
of great guests for you tonight •••
Sam walks out on stage. He is clearly the comic foil on the
show. He's playing a drugged-out version of the old drunk
character--
SAM
Hey, Dewey. What's up?
DEWEY
I am trying to start the show.
SAM
Oh. Whoops.
The crowd LAUGHS.
DEWEY
Why did you come out here?
 84.

i. SAM
Sometimes when the studio is empty
I like to come on this stage and
pretend that this is my show, and
that I'm Dewey Cox.
He starts singing a hobo-sounding version of "Walk Hard"--
DEWEY
That's terrible.
SAM
That's why I do it when nobody's
here. Hey, who is on the show
tonight?
DEWEY
Suzanne Sommers.
Sam licks his hand and pats down his mangled hair. He adjusts
his clothes, like he might ask out Suzanne Sommers--
DEWEY
You don't have a chance with

•
Suzanne Sommers .
SAM
Really? Because I thought maybe
four could be company, if you know
what I'm saying.
DEWEY
Get out of here!
Sam exits to APPLAUSE.
DEWEY
Ladies and gentlemen-- Suzanne
Sommers!
Suzanne Sommers walks out-- played by the real Suzanne
Sommers. The band strikes up and they begin singing "In
America" by The Charlie Daniels Band--
DEWEY/ SUZANNE··
"Well the eagle's been flying slow/
And the flag's been flying low/ And
a lot of people are saying that
America's fixing to fall/ But
speaking just for me and some
people from Tennessee/ We got a
thing or two to tell you all ••• "
 85 •

• Suddenly, they are surrounded by American flags.

DEWEY/ SUZANNE
"This lady may have stumbled but
she ain't never fell/ And if the
Russians don't believe that/ They
can all go straight to hell!"
MOMENTS LATER-- The song has just ended; the crowd APPLAUDS.
Dewey and Suzanne wave to the crowd, as they head back stage.
When they cut to commercial, Dewey PULLS her off into the
wings and KISSES her--
SUZANNE
Why, Mr. Cox!

DEWEY
I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.
Have I upset you?

SUZANNE
Yes, I'm upset. I'm upset that you
didn't do that on the first day of
rehearsal.

• She KISSES him hard, with lots of tongue •

INT. DEWEY'S MALIBU HOME - NIGHT
Dewey is having a huge party. In attendance are a bunch of
STARS from the seventies (all played by the real people, only
now they are all in their fifties and sixties, but still
dressed as they did in the 70's).
Dewey walks through his crowded house. People step in front
of him to say hello--
VOICE (O.S.)
Hey, Dewey!
Reveal JIMMY "J.J." WALKER--

JIMMY
Or should I say, hello Dewey "Dy-no-
mite."
DEWEY
Hey, Jimmy. Enjoying the party?

•
 86.

JIMMY
The only way I could enjoy it more
would be if Sly from the Family
Stone was cutting lines in your
bedroom. wait! He is! This party
couldn't be hotter! Wanna do a
line?
DEWEY
No thanks. I would but quittin' is
a real drag.
Dewey keeps walking. PAMELA SUE ANDERSON stands in front of
him--
PAMELA
Hey, Dewey.
DEWEY
Hey, Pamela. Finally a friendly
face. How is your show 'Dallas'
going?
PAMELA

•
Fantastic. Hey, want to smoke some
hash with me and then make love?
It's wild!
DEWEY
Oh, Pamela. Those days are behind
me. -Plus, Suzanne and I are gettin'
pretty serious.
PAMELA
If only you booked me as the guest
on your show last week instead of
this week-- it could have been me.
DEWEY
Wait ••• "It Could Have Been Me" •••
Excuse me.
INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Dewey sits on the bed with a guitar, trying to write a song--
DEWEY
(sings softly)
"It could have been me. It could
have been me. What did I/// doopp

• de-dee. Could be ••• "

(gets annoyed)
Shit! That's not it •••
(MORE)
 87.

:. DEWEY (cont'd)
(starts again)
When you walked away with that girl
I said it could have been me. But
you did, and I felt •.• low self-
esteem after that occurrence.
Dammmitt!
He SMASHES the guitar on the end table, destroying it.
DEWEY
Why has the muse deserted me?!
This used to be so easy! Will I
ever get my gift back again?!
Suddenly, HENRY WINKLER enters with PENNY MARSHALL--
HENRY
Hey, Dewey.
DEWEY
Henry. Penny ...
HENRY
Mind if we use your bed for the
next fifteen minutes?
PENNY
Don't worry. He'll be done in five.
Ha-ha!
DEWEY
Go ahead. Nothing important is
happenin' in here, anyway.
Dewey exits and Henry and Penny start MAKING OUT.
INT. MALIBU HOME - CONTINUOUS
Dewey walks through the party. Suzanne walks up to him and
puts her arm around him--
SUZANNE
Dewey, this party is going to be
talked about in Malibu for years.
DEWEY
Why is that? It's just some
creatively bankrupt, 38 year-old

(.
has-been's futile attempt to seem
important.
SUZANNE
Don't say that, Dewey.
 88.

DEWEY
I can't write anymore. I've become
irrelevant. I used to be one of the
greats, like Dylan and Lennon and
McCartney.
SUZANNE
People love you. Your ratings are
through the roof.
DEWEY
(explodes)
I don't want ratings through the
roof! Dewey Cox is not about
ratings! Dewey Cox is about the
MUSIC!!!
As he says "music", he GRABS a fire poker and SMASHES a gold
record, hanging on the wall. Everyone SCREAMS.
DEWEY
Did that scare all of you?! Well
get out! I don't need any of you!
You don't love me for who I am!

•
You love a cartoon! That goes
double for you John Davidson!
We reveal JOHN DAVIDSON shaking his head--
JOHN
What happen·ed to you Dewey?
DEWEY
I don't know what happened to me.
But I do know what happened to you.
John Davidson took a beating.
Dewey proceeds to BEAT the living hell out of John Davidson
until the cast of "What's Happening" PULLS them apart. As
Dewey walks away he sucker punches RAJ.
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Dewey and Suzanne lay in bed--
DEWEY
I'm sorry, Suzanne. That's never
happened before.
SUZANNE

• Maybe if you talked to your dad,

things would be different.
 89.

DEWEY
You think if I talk to my dad, I'll
be able to get an erection?
SUZANNE
No. I just think you and your poppy
have some unresolved issues. Maybe
if you and he had a real heart-to-
heart, maybe you'd feel better.
About everything.
DEWEY
Oh, Suzanne, now I know why America
loves you. But they don't love you
the way I do.
He KISSES her and gets on top of her. We stay with them until
a moment before this turns into a graphic sex scene •••
DEWEY
Man, I love the sexual revolution!
EXT. SAIL BOAT - DAY

•
Dewey and Pa are sailing together. Dewey drops anchor so they
can have "the talk". Pa scowls at him, as always--
PA COX
What in god's name are we doing out
here, boy?
DEWEY
We need to talk, Pa.
PA COX
Well, what the hell's so important
that you gotta drag me all the way
out here on a boat, to talk about
it?
DEWEY
I wanted to be alone with you. So
neither of us could run away. Like
we always done before.
PA COX
(sneers, snickers cruelly)
That's the dumbest thing I ever
heard. Alright. I'll bite. What do
you want to talk about?

• Dewey takes a deep breath, then dives in--

 90 .

• DEWEY
Dad .•• I think there's a problem in
our relationship. It's hard to
describe in words, but ••• It's as
though ... you don't like me much.
Sure, I've made some mistakes. I
know that. I've had my struggles
with fame and-- let's be honest--
with drugs. And I guess, if you
look at it a certain way, maybe .•.
maybe .•. I was in some way
responsible for what happened to
Nate. And Mom, I guess ... But
whatever it is, it feels like I can
never please you ••• I guess, if I
had to sum it up in one phrase-- I
feel as though you don't approve of
me.
Pa looks at him for a long beat~- it seems as though years of
rage and resentment are about to explode forth ••. Then,
suddenly, his face changes completely--
PA COX
Is that what you thought?

• DEWEY
Well ••• Yeah. It is.
PA COX
Dewey ••• Son .•. That's nuts!
DEWEY
It is?
PA COX
I couldn't be more proud of you!
Hell, you're the pride and joy of
my life.
Pa has suddenly transformed into the warmest father
imaginable.
DEWEY
I am?

Pa pulls a small scrap book from his coat pocket--

PA COX
Look, here. I been carrying this

•
around with me, everywhere I go,
since the day you hit the big
time ••.
 91.

He shows Dewey-- hundreds of clippings about Dewey.

DEWEY
It's all my clippings •••
PA COX
That's right.
DEWEY
Wow ••• you do care.
PA COX
Of course, I do! Hell, son, why
didn't you say something sooner?
Gosh, I ••• I feel just awful about
this ••• misunderstanding.
DEWEY
But ••. all those times you said
"the wrong kid died" ••• That was
awful harsh.
PA COX
That's just an expression! "The
wrong kid died". It's a figure of
speech! What, you thought I meant
you?!
DEWEY
Kind of seemed like that's what you
meant.
PA COX
No! I just meant-- Nate was one of
my kids. So of course I felt like
the wrong kid died. I meant--
someone else's kid should have been
cut in half. Like maybe a neighbor
or sornethin' ••• I didn't mean you!
DEWEY
(choked up)
I can't believe it. All this time,
I been going through my life
thinkin' you had some kind of
problem with me ...
PA COX
Ah, Dewey ••• Come here •••
They HUG, very meaningfully-- the hug Dewey has craved his
entire life.
 92.

DEWEY
Well, I am so glad we talked about
this!
PA COX
I love you, Dewey. Hell ••• you're
my hero.
DEWEY
And you're mine, Pa. You always
have been. I love you too.
PA COX
Now, what do you say we turn this
boat around and go grab us some
dinner? It's freezing out here.
They laugh, warmly, bonding.
DEWEY
Sounds good to me.
Dewey moves to the other side of the boat and unties the
sail, which immediately WHIPS across the boat and HITS his
father-- CUTTING HIM IN HALF in exactly the same way that

• Nate was cut in half .

Paaaaaaa!
DEWEY
Nooooooooo!
Dewey RUNS over to PA who is still conscious, his torso lying
on the ground next to.his legs.
PA COX
Now, don't you feel guilty about
this, Dewey. It's just a very rare,
very odd coincidence. Don't go
beatin' yourself up because you've
inadvertently killed three
relatives. These things happen. I
still love you. I just wish this
particular thing didn't happen
because ... well, for obvious
reasons. But I still love you.
Pa dies. Dewey CRIES to the heavens--
DEWEY
Whyyyy???!!!
INT. MALIBU HOUSE - NIGHT
Dewey enters, distraught--
 93 .

• DEWEY
Suzanne! Suzanne!
He heads up stairs.
INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Dewey enters--
DEWEY
Suzanne! My daddy's gone •••
But he's stopped in his tracks by the sight of--
--Suzanne, in bed with BOB NEWHART.
DEWEY
What the hell's going ... Is that
Bob Newhart?!
BOB NEWHART
Hello, Dewey.
DEWEY
Hello, Bob. What's going on here?

• SUZANNE
Okay! I admit it!
Dewey still doesn't get it--
DEWEY
Admit what?
SUZANNE
I've been cheating, Dewey.
DEWEY
(shocked)
You have?!
SUZANNE
I have.
DEWEY
With who?!'

SUZANNE

,. With Bob.
DEWEY
You saying the two of you are
sleepin' together?
 94.

BOB NEWHART
Isn't that kind of clear, Dewey?
DEWEY
But ••. but ... why?
SUZANNE
I want to have fun, Dewey. And
being with you, lately ••• It hasn't
been a lot of fun. Frankly, I've
been depressed. So I went to Bob to
talk •••

DEWEY
Why'd you go to him?
BOB NEWHART
I am a psychologist, Dewey. Or at
least ••• I play one on TV.
SUZANNE
Bob just ••• has this wisdom about
him .••

BOB NEWHART
Okay Suzy Q, let's not add fuel to
the fire •••
DEWEY
Be calls you "Suzy Q"?! Get out of
my house! And you too, Bob Newhart!
Be seems about to fly off the handle, runs into the bathroom.
She runs after him--
SUZANNE
Dewey, don't destroy the plumbing!
--Dewey is trying to pull the sink off the wall, but he
can't. After a moment, he gives up--
DEWEY
That's a damn sturdy sink!
And he RUNS from the house.
SUZANNE
Dewey!
 95 .

• INT. STUDIO - DAY

Dewey is dressed as Mozart, for a sketch. He rants around the
set, clearly loaded on many substances. He starts yelling at
a WRITER--
DEWEY
If I say the sketch isn't funny, it
isn't funny!
WRITER
But yesterday you said you loved
it! You said not to change a
word •••
Dewey SLAPS the man hard across the face--
DEWEY
Don't you ever talk back to Dewey
Cox!
The man starts CRYING like a child. Dewey STORMS off.
INT. DRESSING ROOM - EVENING
Dewey STORMS into the room, heads straight for the bathroom,
opens the door--
--Sam is sitting on the floor, arm tied off, needle in hand,
having just shot up. Very sleepy--
SAM
Get ••• out ••• of here, Dewey •••
DEWEY
What are you doin'?
SAM
It's called "heroine". You don't
want ••• no part of •..
(dozing off, grinning
wide)
What were we talkin' about ••• ?
Dewey gets that look in his eyes, considering •••
INT. STUDIO - EVENING
The band is playing the intro to "Guilty As Charged."
Finally, Dewey walks out-- to big applause-- and begins
playing the song. He sings it in a very mellow, almost
passing out fashion.
 96 •

• INT. CONTROL BOOTH - SAME

The CREW are watching him on monitors--
DIRECTOR
What is that on his arm?
ON THE MONITOR-- See that Dewey has left the needle in his
arm, through his clothes. The needle bops around as he plays
rythm guitar.
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR
Is that a ••• needle?
DIRECTOR
You telling me we're live and Dewey
is playing with a hypodermic needle
hanging out of his arm?!?!
INT. STUDIO
Dewey finishes the song, very proud, as they go to a
commercial. He's in a much better mood, than before he shot
up. Then, he sees the needle in his arm--

• DEWEY
Whoops. I don't think the camera
can pick up an object that small.
DRUMMER
No, Dewey. You're cool.
INT. TV NETWORK
A bank of phones RING off the hook.
CLOSE UP - MAGAZINE COVERS
VARIETY - "DEWEY COX SHOOTS UP CAREER"
HOLLYWOOD REPORTER - "DEWEY COX PUT ON THE ROCKS"
NY TIMES - "DEWEY COX FIRED FROM HIS NETWORK VARIETY SHOW,
PARENTS OUTRAGED"
INT. MALIBU HOME - DAY
Dewey, now really high, is meeting with his manager.
DEWEY

•
What do you mean you don't want to
represent me anymore? What, my
money ain't good no more?
 97 •

• SCHWARTZBERG
There is no more money, Dewey. It's
over. I'm afraid there's no coming
back from this one.
Dewey takes a Gold record and BASHES it over Schwartzberg's
head--
DEWEY
Get out! I am sick of your lies and
distortions! America loves me.
America loves Dewey Cox!
SCHWARTZBERG
Goodbye, Dewey.
He leaves. Dewey walks across the room, where a TV is on. He
sees himself on the news, the anchor reads--
ANCHOR (ON TV)
One can only imagine how many of
our children will start injecting
heroin into their veins because
Dewey Cox made it look fun.
Dewey pulls a revolver from his belt and SHOOTS the TV.
INT. MALIBU HOUSE - DAY
Dewey is taking a baseball bat to all of his gold records. It
takes a while because he has so many of them. When it ends,
he is exhausted. He falls to the ground where he sits in a
pile of broken frames and glass. He begins to cry.
Suddenly, his ten year old son, DEWEY JR., walks into the
room, holding two baseball mitts--
DEWEY JR.
Dad?
DEWEY
What is it, son?
DEWEY JR.
I was just wondering if you want to
have a catch.
DEWEY
"A catch"?

•
DEWEY JR •
Yeah. A catch.
 98 .

• DEWEY
You want to have a catch with me?
DEWEY JR.
I just ••• I thought it might be
fun, is all ..• ·
DEWEY
(dramatically)
There is nothing I would like to do
more in this world than to have a
catch with you •••
(realizes he doesn't know
the kid's name)
I know this may sound strange, but
what's your name again? Are you
Donald ••• or Danny •••. or Douglass .•.
DEWEY JR.
I'm Dewey Jr. But my friends call
me Dew Drop.
DEWEY
Well, it is nice to formally meet
you, Dew Drop •

• EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY

On the beach, Dewey and Dewey Jr. are having a catch. Dewey
is SOBBING the entire time--
DEWEY
So, this is what I was missing all
those years out on the road.
Dewey Jr. keeps dropping the ball.
DEWEY
You are really terrible at this
game.
DEWEY JR.
Well, you never played with me
before. And I'm ten. How'm I
supposed to learn? A boy needs a
dad. .

This resonates with Dewey--

DEWEY
Yes, he does. I reckon we've got
some lost time to make up, don't
we?
(MORE)
 99.

DEWEY (cont'd)

•
With you and all your brothers and
sisters. How many do you have now,
anyway?
DEWEY JR.
Twenty two brothers and sisters.
Artd also 14 half-brothers and half-
sisters. But they're all just
brothers and sisters to me.
DEWEY
So that's ••• 36, in all?
DEWEY JR.
Yep.
DEWEY
Holy shit. This may take a while. I
guess I won't be playing much
guitar in the future, if I am going
to be ••. a good father.
BEGIN MONTAGE

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

• The familiar image of the bus plowing down the golden

highway ..•
INT. TOUR BUS - SAME

.•• except, this time, Dewey's driving, and in the back are
all of his many, many kids. He's never looked happier.
EXT. FARM - DAY

Dewey and his kids build a house. It looks like the barn
raising scene from "Witness."
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Dewey is in the tub, bathing two of his small children.

EXT. FARM - DAY

Dewey and the kids are all building furniture for their new
house.
DEWEY JR.
Look, Pa!

•
Jr and a couple of the others have just finished a very
impressive table and chairs set. Dewey is pr~ud.
 100 •

• INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Dewey is still in the tub-- but now he bathes five children,
who are all packed into the tub with him.
EXT. FARM - DAY
Dewey and his many children pick cotton. They are smiling and
having a blast.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Dewey is now in the tub with 11 kids-- and a line has formed,
ending with 21 year old DANIEL, who's not too into this.
INT. BEDROOM - ~IGHT

Dewey is tucking in all of his kids-- quite a process. He

gets to a girl, DAPHNE--
DAPHNE
You seem lonely, daddy.
DEWEY

•
Me .•• ? Naw ••• I got you kids. What
more could I want?
DAPHNE
A mommy?
DEWEY
Aw, Delilah ••• you're such an old
soul.
DAPHNE
I know you, papa. I know your
heart.
He smiles back at this wise little daughter of his.
END MONTAGE

EXT. FIELD OF GRASS - DAY

Dewey is riding horses with six of his children, herding
sheep-- 15 years have passed and Dewey is now in "middle-aged
guy" make-up, but the kids remain the same age. Then, he
spots a woman riding a horse in the distance.
DEWEY

• Hold up, boys. I think I know that

woman.
 101.

DEWEY JR.
You do know her. That's my mom.
DEWEY
Well, then I should go over and say
hello.
Dewey rides over to her.
DEWEY
Darlene? Is that· you?
DARLENE
Dewey. It's been a long time.
DEWEY
What are you doing here?
DARLENE
I've got family in these parts.
DEWEY
You mean us?
DARLENE

• No, Dewey. We haven't been family

for a long time. I meant my
cousins. How is Suzanne Sommers?
DEWEY
We broke up a long time ago. She is
not what she appears to be on TV.
And what about you? Married?
DARLENE
No. It's just me these days.
Instantly-- the chemistry between them is back.
DEWEY
Really?
DARLENE
Don't look at me like that.
DEWEY
Like what?
Darlene playfully RIDES OFF. Dewey FOLLOWS her. This begins a
very sexy chase on horseback, complete with many shots of the

•
horses breathing heavy and· snorting as Dewey DARTS after her,. .
and she avoids him. It is a sensual dance on horses.
 102 •

• Finally, she rides off towards a lake, and for no apparent

reason, takes off all her clothes and jumps into the water.
Dewey rides his horse fast towards the lake, and when he
reaches the water he lets the horse THROW him in, with all of
his clothes on. He swims over to her and puts his arms around
her.
DARLENE
What do you think you're doing?
DEWEY
I'm getting back the one thing I
should have never let get away.
DARLENE
Who says I'm interested?
DEWEY
You're naked in a lake. That seemed
to be a clue, or am I misreading
the signs?
DARLENE

•
No Dewey, you are reading them just
fine.
DEWEY
And let me say-that you still have
a spectacular body for a woman in
her mid-fifties.
(The actress is still the same actress-- probably in her 20s
or 30s-- but with very slight age make-up.)
DARLENE
(mock offended, splashes
him)
For a woman in her mid-fifties?
DEWEY
For a woman any age.
Suddenly, Dewey's face fills with panic.
DEWEY
I can't do this.

DARLENE
Why?
 103 .

• DEWEY
Because I am wearing all my clothes
and my boots, and I am not a great
swimmer.
Dewey starts sinking fast from the weight of his boots.
UNDERWATER-- see him sink to the bottom. Darlene swims down
and removes his boots, then swims with him to the surface.
She PULLS him to shore and immediately gives him mouth to
mouth. Dewey finally CHOKES up some water, starts COUGHING--
then way too quickly, he KISSES her.
DEWEY
You were always there for me. Even
when you left me to hit bottom, I
knew you were there for me. You
just wanted me to learn how to be a
good man, and I have.
DARLENE
Oh Dewey, do you know how long I
have waited for you to say that?

• DEWEY
I can love you now, because now I
know how to love myself.
DARLENE
I love you too.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Dewey and Darlene have just made love.
DEWEY
Isn't sex way better now than it
was before when I was on drugs?
DARLENE
It's hard to compare. You were much
younger then. And I have to admit
that when you were on the drugs you
definitely had a lot of energy, and
stamina, and sometimes you attacked
me with the passion of a prisoner
on a work release program. Like the

•
drugs brought out the pure animal
in you.
 104.

DEWEY
But this was good too, right?
DARLENE
Real good, Dewey. So, what do we do
now?

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

Darlene is SCREAMING, delivering a baby. The DOCTOR hands the
baby to Dewey, who is in tears.
DEWEY
This one I am gonna love and pay
attention to. I swear. This one
will be different.

DOCTOR
I have to tell you how
extraordinary it is for a woman of
Darlene's age to be able to
conceive like that. Have you come
up with a name yet?

•
Dewey thinks for a moment, then he looks to Darlene-- who has
the idea--
DARLENE
How about ••• Dewey?
INT. DEWEY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
TIGHT ON-- Dewey giving the baby a bottle, talking to him--
DEWEY
And that was the day I realized
that acid and waterskiing do not
mix. So you remember that. I have
many life lessons I am gonna teach
you. I wasn't always a good father
to my other children. I wasn't home
enough, and when I was, I didn't
take much of an interest in them.
Rolling paper and a hand full of
bennies were my children in those
days. And I know it screwed them
up. I've tried to make it up to
them, but they still hunger for the
love they never got and they show
it by getting into trouble, like

• their daddy did. Other than one or

two of 'em, there's no real hope
for any of them.
 105 •

• We reveal that all of his kids are in the room, and look
devastated to hear this news--
DEWEY
(to his mass of kids)
Who wants to hold this teeny tiny
cute little baby? Is this baby
gorgeous or.what?! Who needs money
or fame or a career when we all
share so much love! I hungered for
something my whole life when it was
right in front of me-- my family!
INT. COUNTRY STORE - DAY

Even more.time has passed-- Dewey now looks like an llold

man", totally gray, etc ••• He carries a basket full of
"staples"-- butter, milk, vegetable oil. He approaches the
counter, addresses the very old SKEETER--
DEWEY
How's it hangin', Skeeter?
SKEETER
Down to the knees, Dewey. Say, you

• ever get that wheat to take hold?

DEWEY
Eehh, just enough for winter, I
suspect. Rough harvest, Skeeter ...
SKEETER
Tell me about it. I done harvested
eleven carrots, for the whole
winter. And I'm countin' myself
lucky.
A young HASIDM in a suit approaches (early-twenties but
already speaks like Jackie Mason)--
HASIDM
Mr. Cox? Is that you?
Dewey turns to him, suspicious.
SKEETER
You're not from around here, are
ya' boy?
HASIDM
It's so obvious?!? Are you Dewey
Cox or no?
 106.

Dewey thinks about this, for a long dramatic beat--

DEWEY
I used to be.
HASIDM
Well, Mr. Cox, I don't know how to
put it-- you are again. All over,
I've been looking for you. Me, you
don't know. But you worked with my
father-- Kvetch L'Chai'm.
DEWEY
You're Mr. L'Chai'm's boy?
HASIDM
Dreidel L'Chai'm. That's me.
DEWEY
Pleased to meet ya', Dreidel
L'Chai'm.
L'CHAI'M
The pleasure's all mine. Listen,
Mr. Cox-- I got somethin' for ya'.
He pulls a check from his pocket, hands it to Dewey, who
examines it, confused--
DEWEY
Does that say "seven million
dollars"?
L'CHAI'M
It's yours, Mr. Cox. You've earned
every penny of it.
Skeeter finishes ringing him up--
SKEETER
That'll be two hundred thousand
dollars, Dewey.
INT. DEWEY'S HOUSE - DAY
Dewey, Darlene and many, many kids gather round L'Chai'm's
laptop, which he's set up on the coffee table. Dewey has
never seen a computer before--
DEWEY

•
A lap computer?!
 107 .

• this thing.
L'CHAI'M
"Lap top". It's very popular thing,

DEWEY
Well, I'll be. So, what are you
going to show me on this here "lap
top"?
L'CHAI'M
It's a music video. For a hip-hop
song.
DEWEY
"Hip-hop" .•• ?
KID
It's rap music, daddy.
DEWEY
"Rap music"?
L'CHAI'M
Oy-vey! It's very popular, also,
this rap music. They talk instead

•
of sing, but it's with a rhythm and
a beat and it's nice.
DEWEY
Talkin' with a rhythm and a beat?!
Well, I'll be!
DARLENE
Mr. L'Chai'm, what's all this got
to do with my husband?
L'CHAI'M
Watch! You'll see!
(hesitates)
You may not want the children to be
hearing this thing.
DEWEY
If it's got to do with me, then
it's got to do with my family.
L'CHAI'M
Alright ••• I warned you.
He hits play--

•
 108.

ON THE SCREEN-- a very raunchy video for a song called "Tear

Up That Ass"-- about hookers and blow and partying and cars,
etc ••• Paris Hilton is in the video, doing a pole dance. And
the hook sample-- "Walk Hard". The video uses historic black-
and-white footage of a young Dewey performing the song,
intercut with shots of greased thong-clad asses and bouncing
women and low-riders. Something like--
RAPPER
Gonna tear up that ass!/
Put it in a box!/
Gonna tear up that ass!/
With my Dewey Cox!
Gonna tear up that ass!/
In the back of my car!/
Gonna tear up that ass!/
'Cause I'm walking hard!
The video ends. The Cox family sits in stunned silence.
DARLENE
(appalled)
Mr. L'chai'm •.• how could you allow
them to do such a thing with my

••
husband's music?
L'CHAI'M
Sampling, it's called. All the
time, it's done. And the song's a
big hit! .

DARLENE
I don't care how big a hit it is or
how much money you throw at us!
This is my husband's legacy, we're
talking about •••
L'CHAI'M
Actually, it's been very good for
the legacy, also. The back
catalogue-- selling through the
roof, it is.
KID
Daddy, how come that man talks like
Yoda?
DEWEY
He's a Chosen Person, son. He
controls the media. He speaks the
secret language of the Jewish.
 109 •

• KID 2
What the hell's a "Jewish"?
DEWEY
We'll talk later, son.
DARLENE
You're telling me that people are
buying Dewey's records again, just
'cause of that piece of hooey?!
L'CHAI'M
Through the roof, we're selling!
"Nutzzak"-- that's the rapper~- has
introduced a whole new generation
to the magic of Dewey Cox! And not
only that-- they're gonna give
Dewey the Lifetime Achievement
Award at the Grammys, next month.
The family is excited; Dewey is humbled--
DEWEY
The Lifetime Achievement Award ...
Darlene starts kissing Dewey--
DARLENE
Darlin'! What an honor!
DEWEY
I never thought I'd get no Lifetime
Achievement Award.
DARLENE
Well, if anyone deserves it, it's
.YOU.

L'CHAI'M
You go on TV, they give you the
award, you play a song-- it's a
magical thing. We sell a million
units, the next week!
Suddenly, Dewey is scared--
DEWEY
I can't go on TV and play.
L'CHAI'M

•
What?! Why not?!
 110 .

• KID
Why not, Daddy?
L'CHAI'M
The problem-- I don't see it!

DEWEY
I ain't played no music in years.
Hell, I'm 66 years old. I don't
even know if I can rock, no more,
it's been so long •..
DARLENE
Of course you can rock, sweetheart!
DEWEY
I don't know if I can. And
besides •••
DARLENE
What?
DEWEY
There's a reason I gave up that
life. I have trouble ..• I can't ..•
I'm afraid of all the temptations.
KID
Come on, Daddy!
DEWEY
I don't know •••
KID 3
Do it for us!
KID 2
Do it for your family.
This hits Dewey hard.
L'CHAI'M
Money aside-- it's about time the
world had a chance to appreciate
Dewey Cox.
DARLENE
You can do it, Dewey. I know you
can. You can resist the temptations
and go out there and sing your

•
song. And I'll be standing right
behind you. Singing my back-ups,
just like the old days.
 111.

• Dewey takes this in ••.

INT. STAPLES CENTER - NIGHT
An ENORMOUS (fake) crowd. SHANDLING hosts, finishes his
monologue.
INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Dewey walks around, guitar over his shoulder, nervous. He
passes--
--a small gaggle of contemporary GROUPIES-- pierced and
tatooted, scary.
PIERCED EYE-BROW GIRL
Hi.

DEWEY
(tightly)
Howdy, ma'am.
PIERCED EYE-BROW GIRL
He's so cute!

• PIERCED LIP G'rRL

What are you <loin' later, Dewey?
DEWEY
I'm returning to the hotel with my
family.
He keeps walking, wipes his brow-- proud that he managed to
avoid that temptation.
He approaches a bathroom, opens the door--
--inside, Sam is smoking crack.
DEWEY
Sam!
SAM
Get out of here, Dewey! You don't
want no part of this shit!
DEWEY
What is it?
SAM

•
It's called ncrack"! It's cocaine,
except you smoke it!
 112 •

• DEWEY
Like free-basing?
SAM
Kind of. Except it's in rock form,
which makes it cheaper and more
addictive! You take one puff, and
the demon grabs hold a' you, and it
don't let go, until it ruins your
entire life!
DEWEY
(struggling)
Well, that is tempting ••• but you
know what, Sam? I don't think I do
want no part of that shit. I ain't
gonna succumb to the temptations.
He walks out, rounds a corner and comes face to face with--
--THE TEMPTATIONS, who practicing their perfect harmonies on
"My Girl".
Dewey stops in his tracks--

• DEWEY
Oh, Lord! The Temptations!
He turns and RUNS. The Temptations are confused.
INT. DRESSING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Dewey stares at his reflection in the mirror--

DEWEY
Do I still have it? Am I still the
man I used to be? And ••• do I even
want to be?
After a moment, his reflection talks back--
DEWEY'S REFLECTION
You're still Dewey Cox. And you're
the only man who ever will be.
Dewey is not surprised by this--
DEWEY
But ••• is that enough?
NATE
It's more than enough.
 113 •

• Dewey turns to--

--Nate, who has appeared in the corner--

Nate ...
DEWEY

NATE
Don't you see, Dewey? You've been
through so much. You're a better
man now than you've ever been.
DEWEY
You really think so, Nate? Have I
made enough of my life? Have. I
fulfilled my promise to be double
great, for the both of us?
NATE
Are you kidding?! You've made 44
gold records. You've traveled the
world. Given money to charity. You
been to jail four times. You been
knighted by Queen Elizabeth. You've
been addicted to and then kicked

• almost every drug known to man.

You've slept with four hundred and
eleven women and three men. You had
your own variety show. Dewey, you
have had an awesome life!
Dewey beams with pride--
DEWEY
I have, haven't I?
PA COX
You sure have.
He turns to-- a vision of his father, in the other corner--
DEWEY
Pa!
PA COX
Son, you learned the hard way-- you
can't spend all your time thinking
about Dewey Cox. You gotta think
about the world and your family.
DEWEY
(serious)
I sure did learn that.
 114 .

• YOUNG DEWEY
But then, at the same time ••.

Dewey turns around again--

--a vision of his childhood SELF has joined them--
DEWEY
Is that my inner child?
YOUNG DEWEY
Yeah, Dewey. I'm you.
DEWEY'S REFLECTION
He's us.
DEWEY
Well, I'll be •••
YOUNG DEWEY
Like I was saying, you've
realized ••• you can't spend all
your time thinking about other
people. You gotta take care of
Dewey Cox •••

• (very schmaltzy)
You learned to take care of me.
DEWEY
It's true •••
PA COX
That's a little different than what
I was sayin', but •••
DEWEY
You're all right. Pa, Inner Child,
Nate, my own reflection ... I've
learned that I can't spend all my
time thinking about Dewey Cox and
I've also learned that I have to
love Dewey Cox. I can't spend all
my time thinking about other
people. I have to focus on myself.
But also not focus on myself and
instead focus on other people. It's
all so clear now.
MA COX
It's not about yourself and other
people ..•
He turns to-- a vision of his mother, who has joined them.
 115.

DEWEY
Ma!
MA COX
It's about the music. It's about
the millions of lives you've
touched, along the way.
This hits Dewey hard.
NATE
It's about the music, Dewey.
DEWEY'S REFLECTION
It always has been.
DEWEY
(realizing)
It always has been.
Dewey and all of his "visions" stand there for a very long
beat-- they've run out of pep talk.
DEWEY
Not to be needy, but you all agree

• that probably I still have it?

VISIONS
Yes!/ Definitely!
PA COX
Now go out there and play some
music, boy.
Dewey takes a deep breath.
INT. STAGE - NIGHT

On stage-- JACKSON BROWNE, BEYONCE and WYCLEF JEAN perform a

rousing version of "Guilty as Charged".
INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME

Dewey leans against the wall, looking tortured-- the moment

from the opening.
The STAGE HAND approaches--

i.
STAGE HAND
Mr. Cox?
Sam stops him--
 116 •

• SAM
Give him a minute, son. Dewey Cox
likes to think about his entire
life before he plays.
Dewey straightens up--
DEWEY
It's okay, Sam. I'm ready.
INT. STAGE - MOMENTS LATER

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN gives the speech--

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
We listened to him sing about
walking, and we learned a little
something about how we wanted to
walk. And when he walked, he walked
hard. Ladies and Gentlemen, it
gives me great pleasure to
introduce the original hard walker--
the Great Dewey Cox!
ACROSS THE STAGE--

• Dewey COUNTS off the beat and the band STARTS PLAYING. And
after a fleeting moment of hesitation-- Dewey ROCKS OUT.
Darlene sings her heart out, right behind him.
The crowd is invigorated, witnessing a little Cox magic.
Women SWOON, just like the old days. And fights break out,
just like the old days. The old man's still got it.
As the song continues, FADE TO BLACK--
CARD-- nnewey Cox remained hard for the next four years,
playing to sold out houses around the world.n
CARD-- nHe never did another drug again."
CARD-- llExcept for a little weed on special occasions."

CARD-- llor on the weekend."

CARD-- nother than that, he never did another drug again."
CARD-- nnewey Cox died three weeks before the release of this
film."
The song ends dramatically.
 117 •

• CARD-- llThe filmmakers are very, very sad.

very powerful ending. 11

CARD-- llAnd ·a real shot at an Academy Award.

11

CARD-- llBut, we think you'll agree, it does give the film a

11

CARD-- llor at least a nomination for John c. Reilly."

As the credits start to roll, SEE grainy black and white
footage of "the real Dewey Cox" performing, in the '50s.
Russel Crowe or Crispin Glover or somebody, made up to look
like the character, singing "Walk Hard".

THE END