The World-Renowned Nose Lis a startling piece of news. That nose has become a matter of dispute among intellectuals. I record here the true story of that nose. ‘The owner of that world-renowned nose had completed twenty-four years of age, when the story began. No one knew him before that. Does the twenty-fourth year in a person's life have any special significance? Who knows? If one looks through the recorded pages of world history one finds that the twenty-fourth year had a significance in many great lives. Students of history need hardly be told this. ‘The hero of our story was a cook, a kitchen worker if you like, He was not particularly intelligent. He could not read and write. His world was confined to the kitchen. He was totelly indifferent to happenings outside the kitchen. Why should he pay attention to them? He could eat to his satisfaction; sleep; work. His daily routine was confined to these activities, He did not know the names of the months of the year. When it was time for him to receive his salary his mother would come and take it. He lived a contented life till he reached his twenty-fourth year. Then an amazing thing happened! His nose grew slightly in length, It passed his mouth and reached the level of his chin, ‘The nose began to grow in length every day. Within a month the nose reached his navel. Did he feel uncomfortable? Not in the least! He could breathe freely. He could distinguish between smells. However, because of his nose, the poor cook was dismissed from service. ‘What was the reason?No group came forward with the battle cry: Take back the dismissed employee.” Political parties shut their eyes to this piece of rank injustice. No lover of humanity came forward to help. ‘The poor cook! No one had to tell him why he had lost his job. The reason was that the people living in the house where he worked could find no peace or quiet because of him. People came visiting night and day, to see the long-nosed one, Photographers pestered them. News reporters became a nuisence. ‘A number of things were pilfered from the house. As the dismissed cook sat starving in his lowly hut, he was convinced of one thing: his nose had acquired great publicity! People from distant lends came to see him. ‘They stood stunned with surprise at his long nose. Some touched it too. But no one asked: ‘Have you eaten today? Why do you look so weak?’ There was no money in the hut. Was he a wild animal to be kept starving? He might be a fool, but he was a human being. One day he called his old mother aside and told her in a whisper: ‘Get these horrid people out!” The mother promptly put them all out and closed the door. Good fortune dawned on the mother and son after that day! People began to bribe the mother to see the son's nose! Some upholders of justice protested against this corruption. But the Government did not take any action. Many protested against the inaction of the Government and joined revolutionary parties, out to sabotage the Government! The income of the long-nosed one grew day ‘by day. In six years the poor cook became a millionaire. He acted thrice in films. What vast audiences were attracted by the technicolour feature film: ‘The Human Submarine’! Six poets wrote epic poems about the noble qualities of the Long- nosed. one! Nine well-known writers wrote biographies of the long-nosed one and won wealth and acclaim. His princely abode was also a guest house open to all, Anyone at any time could get a meal there. He had two secretaries. Both of them worshipped him. When two beautiful females love the same person at the same time, there is bound to be trouble, Troubles came into the life of the long-nosed one. Other people also loved the long-nosed one. That long nose reaching down to the navel was considered a sign of greatness. The long- nosed one gave his opinion on important world events, Newspapers published his comment ‘An aeroplane with a speed of 10,000 miles an hour has been built! The long-nosed one commented thus on the event ...!" “Doctor Bundrose Furasiburose hes brought a dead man to life! The long-nosed one made the following spcech about it ...1 ‘When people heard that the highest peak in the world had been scaled, they aked: “What does the long-nosed one say about this?” a_iIf the long-nosed one said nothing about an event ... Phoo! It was unimportant, And so the long-nosed one was expected to comment about anything and everything! Painting, the watch trade, the soul, publishing houses, life after death, the conduct of newspapers, hunting. It was at this time that conspiracies were hatched to capture the long-nosed one Capturing something, taking something by physical conquest, was nothing new. The major part of world history consists of conquests and captures. First of all, it was the Government that made an attempt to capture the long-nosed one. They tried a confidence trick. The Government awarded him the title ‘Chief among the long-nosed ones’ and gave him. a medal. It was the President himself who tied the bejeweled gold medal round the neck of the long-nosed one. Then, instead of shaking the long-nosed one by the hand, the President tweaked the tip of the long nose. ‘This was filmed by newsreel cameramen and shown in all theatres. By that time the political parties in the country came forward enthusiastically. Comrade Long-Nose must give leadership to the people's struggle! Comrade Long- Nose indeed! Whose Comrade? Comrade in what? God! Poor long-nosed one! ‘The long-nosed one must join the Party! Which party? There were many parties. How would the long-nosed one join different parties at the same time? ‘The long-nosed one said in his own tongue, “Why should I join party and parties? Me, [ am too tired.” ‘Should I join any party?” the long-nosed ‘one asked one of his secretaries. She said: ‘Why should you?’ By that time one of the political parties had come out with the slogan, ‘Our party is the Jong-nosed one’s party, the long-nosed one’s party is the people's party!’ Members of other parties were incensed by this. They got at one of the secretaries and made her issue a scathing statement against the long-nosed one: ‘The long-nosed one has deceived the people! He has been cheating them all this while, He has made me a partner in this fraud. Let me declare the truth to the public: the long nose is made of rubber!” Wow! ! ! All the newspapers splashed the news on their front pages. The nose of the long-nosed one is made of rubber! Would the people keep quiet at this? Would they not react in anger? Cables, telephone calls letters from all parts of the world! The President was allowed no peace or quict ‘Destruction to the rubber nose of the long- nosed one! Down with the long-nose party! Long live revolution”When the anti-long-nose party put out this, statement, the opposing party made the other secretary issue a counter statement: Beloved countrymen, citizens! What she has said is a lie. She was trying to keep for herself the wealth and good name of Comrade Long-Nose. One of her brothers is in the opposite party. Let me reveal the true colours of the members of the other party. I am the faithful secretary of Comrade Long- Nose. | know for a fact that the nose of the Comrade is not made of rubber. It is as real as my own heart beating inside me. Long live the members of the party supporting Comrade Long-Nose! Long live revolution!” What was to be done? There was confusion in the minds of the people. The leaders of the party against the long-nosed one began finding fault with the President and the Government: ‘Stupid Government! They gave the title of "Chief among the long- nosed ones" to the deceiver of the people. ‘They gave him a gold medal. The President is also party to this fraud. There is betrayal of national interest in all this. The President must resign, The Ministry must resign! The rubber-nosed one must be killed!” The President reacted angrily. One morning the army and their tanks surrounded the house of the poor long-nosed one. He was arrested and taken away. ‘There was no news of the long-nosed one for some time. The people forgot about his existence. Then came fresh news with the impact of a nuclear bomb! Do you know what happened? Just when the People had forgotten everything came a brief announcement from the President: ‘The trial of the “Chief of the long-nosed ones” will take place on March 9th. Expert doctors who come as representatives of 48 countries will examine him. All the newspapers of the world will be represented. The proceedings will be filmed. People must keep calm,’ People are people. They could not keep calm. They came in large numbers into the metropolis. They invaded the hotels. ‘They burt public conveyances. They sct fire to police stations. They destroyed government buildings. March 9, eleven a.m. The square in front of the Presidential Palace was a vast sea of humanity. The loud speakers blared forth: People must be disciplined. The examination has begun!” The doctors surrounded the long-nosed one in the presence of the President and cabinet ministers. One doctor blocked the nostrils of the long-nosed one; he immediately opened his mouth wide. Another doctor took 2 needle and punctured the tip of his nose. To his amazement a drop of blood appeared at the tip of the nose‘The doctors gave their unanimous verdict: ‘The nose is genuine.’ One of the female secretaries kissed the long-nosed one on the tip of the nose. “Long live Comrade Long-Nose! Long live the Chief of the long-nosed ones! Long live member of parliament! That was the end of it all. But the parties of which the long-nosed cone was not a member formed a United Front and began to say: "The ministry must resign!” the Progressive People’s Party of the long- Look at the way falsehood was being nosed one!” perpetuated! Would there not be confusion > ‘As this shouting and revelry ended, the of houehe hus: swmald the;paos President thought of another gimmick. : He nominated the long-nosed one as a VM, Bastrue About the Author \aikom Muhammad Basheer (1908-1994) started his writing career by sending articles to newspapers and magazines. He wrote many novels and short stories which have been translated into English and many Indian languages. This story is a satire. The author is making fun of the way in which we make heroes out of various people from different walks of life. Its easy for such people to gain prominent positions Jnsociety [ts also easy for such people to fall from grace, Satire is the use of ridicule, irony, sarcasm, etc. in speech or writing for the purpose of exposing. ‘and discouraging vice or folly. Satirical writing sets out to teach the reader to have better ideas, There have been many satirsts who have written works in the English language; Jonathan Swift and Alexander Pope are two examples. ree SOLD WORDS mm!1. Use your dictionary to change the following nouns to adjectives. Remember that there are a number of ways in which this is done, Here are some suffixes which may help: -ful, -y, -ish, -ous. a. pain fh. meaning ©. child b, clay i. law p. poison space i. boy 4. dough d. sleep k. hope fancy e. desire |. youth s. dirt, f. scandal m. care ‘t spring e fame 1. il 2. Comment on the terms below. Look up a dictionary, if necessary. a. an accredited journalist {What would someone be called who is not accredited?) critical juncture comrade conspiracies were hatched totweak a counter statement a vast sea of humanity a gimmick THE APOSTROPHE Do you remember reading about when to use the apostrophe? i, The apostrophe is sometimes used to show a missing letter. Examples: ‘twas———» it was isn't—_+ is not When we write dates, the apostrophe is used to show a missing number/word. Example: It was in the year ’95 that a combination of events led to . Here the apostrophe stands in place of a number (1895, 1785, 1695). Sometimes you may find numbers written tke this: This incident took place in the "30s. or He was a star in the ‘thirties In these sentences the apostrophes show the omission of 19 or nineteen (1930s). The apostrophe is used in such cases because the number 19 and the word nineteen have been left out Note that there is no apostrophe after the number (1930s, NOT 1930's). Do not use an apostrophe when there is no contraction. Example: The man is in his fifties. Not The man in his fifties,ll, The apostrophe is omitted in the plural forms of abbreviations, Examples: The MP’s house (the house belonging tothe Member of Parliament) ‘The MPs’ houses (the houses belonging to the Members of Parliament). Insert apostrophes where necessory. a. We spoke to his fatner who isin his nineties. In the fortes India gained her Independence 192 Kapil scored five 50s. “The MLAs who attended the meeting in 86 stayed in five DIGs houses. All the PWls speeches at the conference were recorded and filmed. grag DIRECT AND INDIRECT SPEECH ‘Read the following. Discuss the text. Practise changing direct speech into indirect (reported) speech in the ‘examples, orally. ‘1am a doctor! explained the young lady on her arrival atthe house, ‘and | have come here in answer to call Lreceived this morning. Is this the right house?’ In reported speech this becomes: On her arrival at the house the young lady explained that she was a doctor, and had gone there in answer to a call she had received that morning. She asked if that was the right house. Here are some points to consider. i. The reported passage must state who was speaking. In the example above, the lady spoke, so we have to say, ‘the young lady explained li, The person wha spoke becomes a third person in the reported speech. becomes he/she my becomes his/her li. All the tenses in the reported speech go one step back; in other words, they become more remote. am becomes she was. have come becomes she had gone. I recelved becomes she had received. Here is a table showing what changes occur in reported speech, He said that he wrote, | "shall have writen: He would have written. ——‘imay write! He might write. | Awrote? He had written, “twas writing’ He had been writing. | ‘can write! He could write, iu Certain adjectives, pronouns and adverbs referring to things close at hand become more remote. J have come here becomes she had gone there. This morning becomes thot morning. Here is ancther table showing the changes that occur in reported’ speech here there today (on) that day this that yesterday (on) the day before these those ‘tomorrow {on} the following day now then last month {in or during) the previous month v. Aquestion becomes a statement in reported speech, ‘is this the right house?” she asked. She asked if that (/it) was the right house. a. Change the following into reported speech. i. “Thope you don’t mind, she sai. (There is no need to write She said she hoped. She hoped will do.) ji, “Where have you been? the man asked her. lil, Prakash asked the boy: ‘i you never trya new thing, how can you know what it’s lke Iv. ‘Ididn’t find out whether they had seen the film,’ said Mohan to his wife, when they returned home. ¥, ‘Father, have you any idea at all of what's going on?’ Jasbir asked in a hushed voice. vi, ‘Idon't know what’s happening, Jasbir, But we are finding out, replied the father. vii, ‘And you paid for the house with all this gold and all these diamonds! exclaimed the boy. (to the old woman} viii. "Te-will disappear in a flash!’ protested Maya 1b. Turn the following sentences into direct speech. Example: The long-nosed one commented that an aeroplane with a speed of 10,000 miles an hour had been built! “an aeroplane with a speed of 10,000 miles an hour has been built!" commented the long- nosed one, i. The people asked what the long-nosed one says about this. ‘Tho long-nosed one asked in his own tongue why he should join party and parties. il. The long-nosed one asked why he should join any party. |. The loudspeakers blared forth that people must be disciplined. The doctors gave their unznimous verdict that the nose was not made of rubber. hPa‘SAY IT IN A DIFFERENT WAV! Change the italicized phrases by completing the sentence with the cue word. Do aot change the meaning ofthe sentences. a, The people wanted to know the long-nased one's response. The people wanted to know what b. This Ais destiny. This is where oo The long-nosed one said something about the future being bright. The long-nosed one said that